Story F I N E.

Mentallynot

In need of more roleplays :⁠')
Roleplay Availability
Roleplay Type(s)
589839
cover made by me in photoshop
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disclaimer:
contains the use of alcohol, depression, explicit language (cussing).

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Listen to this song while reading for the full experience.
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themes:
angst/drama, and a happy ending?
no romance

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cast:
Jamie E. Walter
&
Allison M. Stone

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"Hey, haven't heard anything from you in awhile. Call me back when you can? Thanks."

"Hey, It's me again. I heard that you left home from your brother. Did something happened?"

"Where are you? Everyone's been looking for you! Don't ghost me like this!"

"Look, I know you never wanted to talk about it but at least come home, Okay? Your family had been worried sick about you. So please."

"God Damn it!, Say something at least!"


"You know what? FUCK IT! I'm gonna go look for you! I don't care if it means it'll take years to find you. I'll find you and I'll bring you home no matter what!"

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1.

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His phone would ring countless times and he would have to either turn it off or put it on silence.

It had been another night in that dusty cheapest apartment he could find as he went to lie down on the dirty mattress while staring at the worn down wooden ceiling that would let bits of sawdust drop from it to fill the heavy air. His asthma would relapse and he wouldn't been able to catch some shuteye throughout the whole night. Living on each cent he had left, he was running out of money and couldn't get any kind of work since he didn't want anyone to find him, especially with the police out searching for him in the request of his parents.

Being there was rather a foolish and selfish choice for him to make and he knew it. But, he couldn't spend another second out in the world that he couldn't even call home. He couldn't find a single sense of comfort anymore from his current life. It was mainly his fault for trying to be different. His mind was already set to say that he shouldn't be like that and stuff. Just so that he would feel that he was special. Unfortunately, that wasn't what made him like this. The fact that he changed a lot, he was almost unrecognizable. There was no difference to him being himself and him being someone else. Perhaps, he really did forgot who he was.

Though, it didn't make any sense. Nothing ever made sense to him. Just one thing that he was able to understand. He wasn't seeing things. He was "seeing" things. Seeing as in feeling.

That he wasn't too sure about but it had something to do with how his brain work or at least that was what he figured out so far. He wished he could see what he was feeling. Maybe then, he wouldn't feel so lost.

He doubted that was ever the case. Getting up to sit on the side of the mattress, Jamie went to grab the last bottle of beer that he bought from the convenience store back home since he was old enough and had brought his id with him. He went to pop the can open with his teeth. A bad way to open it but it did the job anyway. After popping the cap off, he gave the bottle of beer a swig for taste. Quickly, he felt his stomach rejecting it but he managed to swallow it down. To be fair, he had been drinking beer for the last week he was there and never drink water since the little alcohol gave him the buzz he needed. He was kind of abusing it but it was hard to keep it in since he would vomit it out in the morning anyway.

"Well this taste like shit now." Jamie mumbled to himself as he went to let out several dry coughs from the dirty air. That one swig was a mistake but why should he care?
Putting the bottle aside, he went to rummage his pockets and pulled out a bottle of pills. Some psychiatrist prescribed this to him. They said it was too keep him calm but his brother would tell him not to drink it even if he was kind of diagnosed as Psychotic. It wasn't the medicine that he managed to hate. If he were to take it then he would be admitting that all of his issues came from a disease when he felt differently. Well this mind of his did gave him something, vivid dreams that led to well....delusions. He wouldn't ever admit it. And he would never want to admit it.

If only someone would be able to see and feel what his mind would tell him. Maybe then his life would have a meaning. Would it?

"Here goes nothing." Spoke Jamie as he took one piece out of the bottle before popping it into his mouth and washed it down with his bottle of beer. Bitter, It tasted bitter on his tongue but it didn't last too long. Though, he felt rather tired that night and propped his head against the mattress before taking a deep breath. The light that shone the ceiling disappeared as he closed his eyes shut and let his mind drift.
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2.
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Waking up, he found himself sitting up on the side of mattress and staring at something in the shadows. When a figure emerged from the shadows, his jaw dropped and his eyes quickly widened. He was at loss for words and tried to make sense of what he was witnessing. He recognized this figure. Not only that, he was familiar of it, too.. familiar of it. But seeing this gave him hope and a sincere smile that he haven't had in years. For the first time, he felt excited and happy but even that was short lived. And it finally hit him, the fact that he was seeing this happening. It was only sensible if it was a dream. His heart sank in an instant followed with the smile turning into a frown.

He went to hung his head low as rational thoughts poured and constantly reminded him. Just as he were to lose the last bits of his hope, the figure walked towards the door. This quickly put him back onto his feet. Not a moment too soon, he found himself running through each door as he tried to reach the figure. But with each door he gone through, the distance between the two became longer by the minute along with the sense of dread that kept growing in his head.

He was just running along the hallway and tried to catch up. Though, his pace of speed quickly changed when he had to walk up the many flights of stairs. At some point, his legs were just begging for him to stop. But, he didn't want to stop, he had to get up there. Eventually, he reached the roof. There was a door leading out to the rooftop. And with uncertainty, he reached out to turn the knob. As soon as he opened the door, a wave of wind hit him hard. He could've swore that his soul had jumped out of his body for a second there.

Looking out, he found the figure standing over the ledge with its back facing him. Shocked, he found himself barely keeping it together when his legs marched out onto the rooftop. The wind continued to blew everything away in sight. His breathing was cut short as he hadn't been able to catch his breath after the constant chasing.

The night was silent and he could only hear the wind hitting his ears as he tried to stand strong there. His eyes wandered, his faith wavered as he tried to make sense of this again. It was hard to watch your own reflection doing something that you never wanted to do. It was always hard for him to understand the meaning.

"Why'd you do it?"
"Huh?" Jamie muttered as he lifted his face up to find his reflection staring right back at him. He swore that he couldn't differentiate his look and this reflection of his. Though, there were bruises and scars that were scattered around its hands and face. And the look that it gave him was so much more bitter than his.

But as Jamie didn't know the answer to those words, the figure eventually went to shook its head and hung its head low. This alarmed Jamie, sending him to let out a quiet gasp before shutting his mouth completely, upset that he didn't have any word that could fix this.

Whatever, this is just a dream anyway.

"Jamie!"
Quickly, he turned his head around and found a face that he hadn't seen for weeks.
"Allison? How did you-" Before he could even finished his sentence, he felt a tug around his wrist which pulled him over to the edge of the ledge. His eyes quickly darted towards the street many feet below him as his legs was just dangling around in air. He heard a grunt coming from the ledge and he saw his only friend holding onto one of his hands.

"Are you fucking nuts?!"
There wasn't a word that he could say, was he actually hallucinating? He was hanging over the ledge if she hadn't grabbed his hand in time, he would've..
He looked down over the streets once again and felt as if he was betrayed. Betrayed by his own reflection, this put him beyond upset. He didn't want to say anything and there wasn't a sense of motivation to get out of that mess. But, he chose to get back up there. He swung his other hand towards the ledge and pulled himself up over to the ledge with the her help. When he finally reached over to the other side of the ledge, he sat down with his back against the ledge. He went to cover his face with his palms when the incident played through his head. He was in tears for the longest time he hadn't been in. Everything, just poured out of his head. He was devastated the fact that it was just but his mind playing tricks on him because of the pill that he probably took earlier.

"Hey...It's okay..." The girl murmured to him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He quickly pried his palms off his face and buried his face into her shoulder. There were muffled screams that escaped out from his lips as he tried to scream out the pain he felt. His nails were just digging into her upper back as he continued to cry on her shoulder. It took minutes for him before he finally stopped crying and when he did, he quickly pulled himself away and got up onto his feet with one of his hands rummaging his pockets. There were bitter in his eyes as he pulled out the bottle of pills that he had earlier before turning his front to the ledge. The girl only watched him as he threw the bottle off the roof. She swore that his eyes flashed red for a second there.

"FUCK YOU!" Jamie screamed out at the top of his lungs as she went to swung her arm over his shoulder. "Let's go home." Jamie could only nod to that as they walked away from the ledge. But before they could leave the roof, Jamie heard footsteps coming from his back. It wasn't Allison's as she was in front of him. He went to turn his head around and found the figure standing by the door with a rather blank expression. But he did felt sorrow from it. Jamie only stared back without a hint of interest. Just then, he heard an audible gasp and looked back at Allison when her jaw dropped her eyes widened in shock. "What?" Jamie asked. Allison only lift her arm to point over to the door where the figure was standing. Jamie quickly turned his head around once again and still he could see the figure. There was a slight smirk on its face but not to mock him, rather it seemed amused. And there was another thing that changed from it, the scars and bruises that colored his skin once had disappeared without a trace.

Jamie tried to speak but before he could, the figure walked over to him and shot him a smile before he walked through him. As if something just hit him, Jamie felt a surge of emotions filled every inch of his being. He stumbled on his steps and almost lost his balance. It was back, the sense of belong and comfort that he had lost so many years ago. A small warm smile decorated his face as he took a minute to cherish the warmth in his heart.
"What just happened?" Asked Allison as she gave a rather confused look at him. Jamie smiled at her and put his arm around her shoulder. "Another story for another day." were the only words that left his mouth which of course made her more frustrated.

That night, he went home. Along the way, he found himself staring out of the window as he was seated on the front with Allison steering the wheels. What he could conclude from that incident was how he managed to keep himself alive even if a part of him wished to pull the plug. That one thing that he constantly love and hated. The thing that made him well him at the start was that he never could never lose hope. There was that part of him that was always holding that last bit of light without his choice or him knowing. It was just that. Maybe the dream for that better day had always kept him up even though each time he fell, it hurt more and more. It was just how it is and he did love it that night. It did save him too. Maybe, that was also the thing that made him special. Nevertheless, he knew that part of him won't let him go.

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"It's alright! It's alright!"
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FIN



Ending Song
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A/N
Wrote this in the heat of the moment so pardon the grammar and spelling okay?

also no im not saying that you should stop drinking your medicine, I'm saying that if it nly does harm and no good to you then you might want to stop and try to cope without it. If it helps you then and you're not abusing it then by all means go for it!
 
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