obikanwenobi
the dream chooses the dreamer.
Please enjoy this excerpt from an unnamed Spencer Reid fic that I will inevitably never finish writing. Feel free to leave feedback!
June stared at the gargantuan elephant in the center of the museum's rotunda. For a sheer moment, the bustling crowd around her disappeared. The creature was magnificent. She knew that, of course. She'd seen it before. For some reason, though, it just seemed far more awe-some today.
James snapped her out of her trance. "Junie. Human origins program. Let's go."
"Hang on." June responded, shifting her weight so that she could read the little plaque better. She was not particularly intelligent. She did an absolutely mediocre job when it came to academics in grade school and college alike. History, though? June wanted to learn everything she could. Even if she would forget it in two hours flat, she enjoyed reading about the past.
"African Bush Elephants. Big. Extinct. Let's go." James tugged on his sister's arm again, but she was not having it.
"James! They're not extinct. They're endangered. Let me look at Henry. We have all day." June argued. James rolled his eyes and huffed, but stood still. June's eyes scanned the plaque for a few more moments before she backed up, breathing in deeply. "Okay. Human origins."
"What's so interesting about it anyway?" James muttered. He did appreciate history— he did. The elephant, however, did not capture his attention the same way it did his younger sister's.
"The African elephant has a lifespan that is comparable to a human's. In fact, they don't reach their full height until they are nearly forty years old. They can grow up to four meters tall and generally weight about ten tons when fully grown. The sheer size of the animals alone is fascinating."
June's blood ran cold as she turned to face the source of the voice. He looked a little different; his hair had been cut, a change that affected his overall appearance. His voice, however, was the same.
It must have registered in his mind about the same time it did June's. His lips parted slightly, but no other words came out.
June wrapped her arms around herself and swallowed the lump in her throat. "We should go." She said to James. James didn't recognize the doctor as quickly as June had, but when he did, his own face fell. He took his sister's arm and began to lead her away. Her heart pounded so loudly in her chest that it was all she could hear and comprehend. This was the very exact reason she'd refused to leave the house in the past year. Every little thing reminded her of him. Including Dr. Spencer Reid. It seemed the exact agent who had pulled her from the room that day had not forgotten her, either, because he took a few steps forward.
"Wait." He said. His voice was laced with desperation but also concern. June had no intention of stopping. In fact, the very tone of his voice had caused a flashback she wasn't ready for. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly as James pulled her close. Unfortunately, James didn't entirely get the hint. His hold on her forced her to stop walking.
Her eyes were still squeezed shut as James angled them back towards the doctor. "Can we help you?" James asked. June repeated a mantra over and over in her mind. It was the one her therapist had recommended before she'd quit going. I am here, this is now. I am here, this is now. She needed to ground herself. To remind herself that she was in the present and she was not in that room. That a year had passed.
"I... um.." There it was. The awkwardness that had not been present as he'd restrained her long enough to pull her out of his room and talked her down from a panic attack but had revealed itself when she was being questioned later on. She felt sick when she opened her eyes. His expression was the same as it had been all that time ago. Sympathetic. Desperate. Knowing. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you."
June pinched the outside of her thigh as hard as she could. She wanted the conversation to be over. She wanted to hide, to cry. But the Smithsonian was far too crowded. Her imminent panic was growing increasingly harder to control. June was a lot of things, but she was not okay. Not in the slightest.
Dr. Reid's expression morphed. She wanted to curl up and die. The embarrassment of a public anxious breakdown was enough to keep her inside of the house for another year solid. "Let's go." Her voice cracked as she spoke. It only made things worse. "Please." She tried to inhale, but she couldn't. It felt like Henry the elephant was sitting on her chest restricting her ability to breathe. Her eyes welled with tears.
"She's in the beginning stages of an asthma attack." Dr. Reid said.
"An anxiety attack." James said, shaking his head. "She has them regularly. We need to go."
"No. No, her breathing pattern isn't in line with a panic attack. During panic attacks, you have an increased intake of oxygen. It is called hyperventilating. Asthma attacks cause a decrease in oxygen intake. She can't breathe."
It made sense, but June didn't have enough oxygen in her lungs to speak. She'd used it all up when she'd requested to leave. Her hand snaked to her neck. It felt like her throat was closing up. She hadn't had an asthma flare up since she played soccer in middle school. Therefore, she never found it necessary to carry an inhaler with her. Right now, though, it seemed albuterol was her lifeline. She used her free hand to hold onto her brother's arm. The fact that she couldn't breathe only triggered her anxiety worse— a dangerous crossover.
People were beginning to stare and June was not getting any better. Thinking quickly, Dr. Reid grabbed ahold of James' arm rather than June's and directed them to a far less crowded corridor. June slouched agains the wall but Dr. Reid spoke up the moment her spine hit the brick. "Sit up straight. Good posture lengthens your airway and allows more air to pass through."
June did as he instructed. Her breathing was both rapid and hollow, thus causing her to choke. The tears that she'd so far managed to hold back began to fall. Her body shook from the lack of oxygen she was receiving.
"Go get some hot coffee from the food court." Dr. Reid said to James, who gave him an absurd look but obliged. He turned his eyes back to June's.
Making eye contact with him was painful. She'd been in a similar situation with the man a year prior, though grief had been the driving factor. Now she was having a medical emergency and he'd just so happened to both cause it and be the one to help stop it. Her mind was conflicted as she looked at him.
"Breathe with me." He said, his satchel abandoned on the ground beside him. June didn't recall him taking it off, but she didn't have the time or energy to ponder it. She breathed in as he did and out as he did, though the pattern was interrupted frequently. James returned only a minute or so later with a steaming cup of coffee. Dr. Reid took it and then reached into his bag. He pulled out a pocket knife, flicked it open, and dipped the blade end of it into the coffee several times.
Before James could ask, Dr. Reid explained his reasoning. His voice was both rushed and steadily calm. Despite her situation, listening to him explain the science of it eased her. "Metal is a very good conductor of heat. Dipping a metal spoon in and out of hot coffee cools the coffee effectively and quickly. I don't have a metal spoon." He dropped the knife onto his lap and held the cup to June's lips. She was hesitant, her eyes transfixed on the knife he'd used. "I've never used the knife before. Drink." He added. She took a sip moments after he prompted her to. The action of sipping the coffee did wonders for her. After a minute or so, she was taking deep but painful breaths.
"Hot beverages reduce shortness of breath." Dr. Reid said. June nodded as she took another sip. The coffee was black and bitter and everything she hated, but it had calmed her so quickly that she couldn't bring herself to stop drinking it. That is, until the thoughts returned. Because he had loved his coffee black. She sat the cup down suddenly. Some of it splashed out and landed on Dr. Reid's pants leg. June's face flashed even more red.
"I'm so sorry, Dr. Reid." She said softly through a hiccup.
"Hey, don't worry about it." He responded. There was an awkward but gentle smile on his face. "It's just Reid."
June stared at the gargantuan elephant in the center of the museum's rotunda. For a sheer moment, the bustling crowd around her disappeared. The creature was magnificent. She knew that, of course. She'd seen it before. For some reason, though, it just seemed far more awe-some today.
James snapped her out of her trance. "Junie. Human origins program. Let's go."
"Hang on." June responded, shifting her weight so that she could read the little plaque better. She was not particularly intelligent. She did an absolutely mediocre job when it came to academics in grade school and college alike. History, though? June wanted to learn everything she could. Even if she would forget it in two hours flat, she enjoyed reading about the past.
"African Bush Elephants. Big. Extinct. Let's go." James tugged on his sister's arm again, but she was not having it.
"James! They're not extinct. They're endangered. Let me look at Henry. We have all day." June argued. James rolled his eyes and huffed, but stood still. June's eyes scanned the plaque for a few more moments before she backed up, breathing in deeply. "Okay. Human origins."
"What's so interesting about it anyway?" James muttered. He did appreciate history— he did. The elephant, however, did not capture his attention the same way it did his younger sister's.
"The African elephant has a lifespan that is comparable to a human's. In fact, they don't reach their full height until they are nearly forty years old. They can grow up to four meters tall and generally weight about ten tons when fully grown. The sheer size of the animals alone is fascinating."
June's blood ran cold as she turned to face the source of the voice. He looked a little different; his hair had been cut, a change that affected his overall appearance. His voice, however, was the same.
It must have registered in his mind about the same time it did June's. His lips parted slightly, but no other words came out.
June wrapped her arms around herself and swallowed the lump in her throat. "We should go." She said to James. James didn't recognize the doctor as quickly as June had, but when he did, his own face fell. He took his sister's arm and began to lead her away. Her heart pounded so loudly in her chest that it was all she could hear and comprehend. This was the very exact reason she'd refused to leave the house in the past year. Every little thing reminded her of him. Including Dr. Spencer Reid. It seemed the exact agent who had pulled her from the room that day had not forgotten her, either, because he took a few steps forward.
"Wait." He said. His voice was laced with desperation but also concern. June had no intention of stopping. In fact, the very tone of his voice had caused a flashback she wasn't ready for. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly as James pulled her close. Unfortunately, James didn't entirely get the hint. His hold on her forced her to stop walking.
Her eyes were still squeezed shut as James angled them back towards the doctor. "Can we help you?" James asked. June repeated a mantra over and over in her mind. It was the one her therapist had recommended before she'd quit going. I am here, this is now. I am here, this is now. She needed to ground herself. To remind herself that she was in the present and she was not in that room. That a year had passed.
"I... um.." There it was. The awkwardness that had not been present as he'd restrained her long enough to pull her out of his room and talked her down from a panic attack but had revealed itself when she was being questioned later on. She felt sick when she opened her eyes. His expression was the same as it had been all that time ago. Sympathetic. Desperate. Knowing. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have bothered you."
June pinched the outside of her thigh as hard as she could. She wanted the conversation to be over. She wanted to hide, to cry. But the Smithsonian was far too crowded. Her imminent panic was growing increasingly harder to control. June was a lot of things, but she was not okay. Not in the slightest.
Dr. Reid's expression morphed. She wanted to curl up and die. The embarrassment of a public anxious breakdown was enough to keep her inside of the house for another year solid. "Let's go." Her voice cracked as she spoke. It only made things worse. "Please." She tried to inhale, but she couldn't. It felt like Henry the elephant was sitting on her chest restricting her ability to breathe. Her eyes welled with tears.
"She's in the beginning stages of an asthma attack." Dr. Reid said.
"An anxiety attack." James said, shaking his head. "She has them regularly. We need to go."
"No. No, her breathing pattern isn't in line with a panic attack. During panic attacks, you have an increased intake of oxygen. It is called hyperventilating. Asthma attacks cause a decrease in oxygen intake. She can't breathe."
It made sense, but June didn't have enough oxygen in her lungs to speak. She'd used it all up when she'd requested to leave. Her hand snaked to her neck. It felt like her throat was closing up. She hadn't had an asthma flare up since she played soccer in middle school. Therefore, she never found it necessary to carry an inhaler with her. Right now, though, it seemed albuterol was her lifeline. She used her free hand to hold onto her brother's arm. The fact that she couldn't breathe only triggered her anxiety worse— a dangerous crossover.
People were beginning to stare and June was not getting any better. Thinking quickly, Dr. Reid grabbed ahold of James' arm rather than June's and directed them to a far less crowded corridor. June slouched agains the wall but Dr. Reid spoke up the moment her spine hit the brick. "Sit up straight. Good posture lengthens your airway and allows more air to pass through."
June did as he instructed. Her breathing was both rapid and hollow, thus causing her to choke. The tears that she'd so far managed to hold back began to fall. Her body shook from the lack of oxygen she was receiving.
"Go get some hot coffee from the food court." Dr. Reid said to James, who gave him an absurd look but obliged. He turned his eyes back to June's.
Making eye contact with him was painful. She'd been in a similar situation with the man a year prior, though grief had been the driving factor. Now she was having a medical emergency and he'd just so happened to both cause it and be the one to help stop it. Her mind was conflicted as she looked at him.
"Breathe with me." He said, his satchel abandoned on the ground beside him. June didn't recall him taking it off, but she didn't have the time or energy to ponder it. She breathed in as he did and out as he did, though the pattern was interrupted frequently. James returned only a minute or so later with a steaming cup of coffee. Dr. Reid took it and then reached into his bag. He pulled out a pocket knife, flicked it open, and dipped the blade end of it into the coffee several times.
Before James could ask, Dr. Reid explained his reasoning. His voice was both rushed and steadily calm. Despite her situation, listening to him explain the science of it eased her. "Metal is a very good conductor of heat. Dipping a metal spoon in and out of hot coffee cools the coffee effectively and quickly. I don't have a metal spoon." He dropped the knife onto his lap and held the cup to June's lips. She was hesitant, her eyes transfixed on the knife he'd used. "I've never used the knife before. Drink." He added. She took a sip moments after he prompted her to. The action of sipping the coffee did wonders for her. After a minute or so, she was taking deep but painful breaths.
"Hot beverages reduce shortness of breath." Dr. Reid said. June nodded as she took another sip. The coffee was black and bitter and everything she hated, but it had calmed her so quickly that she couldn't bring herself to stop drinking it. That is, until the thoughts returned. Because he had loved his coffee black. She sat the cup down suddenly. Some of it splashed out and landed on Dr. Reid's pants leg. June's face flashed even more red.
"I'm so sorry, Dr. Reid." She said softly through a hiccup.
"Hey, don't worry about it." He responded. There was an awkward but gentle smile on his face. "It's just Reid."
