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Fantasy EMOTIONS LIKE TWISTING VINES | private |


1000
Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: Kikuo- Don't look at me with those eyes.
Filthy. Filthy. Filthy. She was filthy. The floor she walked on was filthy, the air she inhaled was filthy, the faces she looked at were filthy. The act of existing a dizzying task of trying to push air down into lungs that wouldn't breathe and moving limbs that carried an invisible resistance in stiff muscles. The events that had transpired weighing her down in rage and perhaps a little bit of guilt, precipitating from clenched fists against the bonds of the leather. The image of the Seer fleeted by in her head and haunted her in the twitches of pursed lips. Such an inconsequential thing in comparison to the fluttering of the white robes that surrounded her and halted her steps in unsheathed blades and accusing spears and yet-

Yet it was all she could think of in the revelation of the Coup d'etat. "I'm afraid you've not the authority to issue that command." A snort, more self-derisive than taunting choked between the uprooted ends of a lacklustre smile. "Ha-ha." Stumbled in a peal of laughter, chopped up and fragmented in its travel in tremors through her limp shoulders. Her voice rose to a shrill shriek, and she threw her head back in an eruption of violent cackling. “HAHA-“ They weren’t only trying to dethrone her, the sharp ends of the weapons inched closer, they were trying to kill her. Kill her? She slowly came down from her laughing high, a sputter of bitter chuckles the only joyful thing remaining upon her visage as she did. She had never had a chance had she? Her head spun, the Seer, the bracelet, her kiseru, smoke and cinders, flame and mukuro wax-

The dark corners of her prison, the needle piercing her skin, stab, stab, stab- transitioned into that of her own sword splitting the canvas of flesh open to reveal the swirling mass of muscle, fat and white bones. Fibres snapping in half and bulbous landscapes of jaundice jiggling in a redistribution of the force through the surface. The empty plate, the plum- cut open to reveal the small hand belonging to child Hayate in front of her that progressively aged up in a contortion to the face that had snarled at her only moments before this.

“You don’t know anything Mitsuko. You never have.”

He was right. Her younger clone intertwined her fingers in Hayate’s in the haypile, the straws tickling their cheeks in laughter and dimpled smiles. She closed her eyes, and the Seer was once again there in the hand shaking hers over the table. “I guess I won’t be able to keep my promise to you of seeing you tomorrow,” The whisper hinged in the curled corner of a lopsided grin and the cinereous gaze flashed open in renewed flaming determination. Mitsuko branded her dagger to the man and braced herself in the steeling of jaws. A warm breeze crept up from behind, stirred the exposed skin around ankles and neck in little bumps. In contrast she froze, followed the man’s gaze over her shoulder at his breathless exclamation. Her own following shortly after in a slack mouthed expression.

“Haru…?”

The heat that had appeared as if out of nowhere ensnared her throat, dried it up in its clammy grip that refused to let any words through. The Seer was dishevelled, covered in blood from head to toe. Some of it his own no doubt judging by the ridges on his face and the amassment of red under his nails. The other belonged to the bodies that lay littered around his feet, necks slashed open and pooling a liquid mattress of crimson across the floorboards. His hair stood on its ends, red flames twisting and dancing like a bonfire into the dark cascades of night that was the hallway’s shadows.

The guards turned to point their swords and spears at the demon that was approaching them in lumbering steps and Mitsuko winced out of her daze. Realisation quick to cross her mind in bated breath and a crouched stance. She loosened the obis grip around her waist and pulled the fabric of the skirt into her arms. That wasn’t Haru, that was-

“The Phoenix.”

The words growled out loud from her chest and hushed to a rumble as they passed the gates of clinched teeth. Her eyes inspected the Seer intently, looking for any other signs of injuries. It seemed like he had yet to be struck once despite the earlier onslaught. Still, they didn’t know how many more guards remained and whether the white robed fellows had any reinforcements of their own. Worry deepened the tense lines on her face in knitted brows. She also didn’t have any way to know the extent of his powers nor when this phase would wear off. Or whether he would attack her in the same way if she tried getting close. In worst case he could be caught off guard and-

Mitsuko cut her line of thought off in a trembling inhale. If it had just been her then she would have fought. Knowing that someone out there would receive joy at the announcement of her death. The Seer was another matter. The deer that couldn’t run. She gripped her dagger tighter and cut the skirt.

The head priest found a way out of his statue like state in a staggering step backwards and filled his chest in an inflating inhale. “CAPTURE THE SEER! DON’T LET HIM BE HURT!” His voice boomed over her head and she darted forward at once out of the sprint ready stance. Her eyes locked onto the Seer’s, burning red against her own muted ashen ones, and she threw the pieces of cut textile at his face. The kimono pieces fluttering like veils before his eyes as she ducked underneath and crashed into his waist. Her hands snaking around the back of his legs into the dents opposite the knees and the other folding him in half over her shoulder. Then she ran.

“Haru snap out of it!” She screamed at her hostage, heaving heavily under his weight as she rounded the hallway corner and broke out into the garden with a kick to the shoji door. The guards emerged in waves behind them in the hallway and she clicked her tongue and swore. In the corner stood a paper lantern, flame flickering innocently within. Mitsuko swung her leg at it and kicked it to the ground upon which the flames quickly started lapping at the paper in a roaring barrier separating them from their pursuers. Her legs trembled under the weight as she side stepped down the short distance to the ground from the raised floor and stormed onwards over the stone path.

Her bones ached and her ribs cut into her lungs, straining against the cage of her chest in shallow pants. The night air felt cold against the skin of exposed knees and she had to keep her head craned back, lest she would stumble and fall. They reached the end of the garden that bridged into the forest in one direction and towards the temple in the other. She had hesitated for just a second, whipping back and forth between the two when a sudden push burrowed itself in her shoulder. It sent her stumbling forward before regaining balance in steeled thighs. The pain and sudden wetness on her back alerting her to the bowman in the door opening that they had fled out of. She swirled around and turned left, sprinting into the forest.

The branches ripped into her flesh and whipped her skin. For every root she floundered over she lost a tiny bit of composure- a hand that slipped from the Seer’s back but then nailed itself steady in fingers wringing through fabric, a cough that lodged itself in her throat in a taste of iron at the back of her tongue but that she swallowed back down and a numbness that prickled along the drenched area on her back; spreading to her arm and waist in a worrying rate that caused her to rock in her step. She couldn’t stop to examine the arrow sticking out her back but she knew it was there, every move grinding her muscles against the rupture in her posterior in an awkward swinging of the stick.

The trees thinned and before them appeared a stable, unattended and seemingly abandoned in the chaos at court. Mitsuko stumbled forward to the nearest horse and heaved the Seer over its back, her hand shot up to her shoulder to graze the wound with a wince. It had to wait, they didn’t have time. She saddled the horse in a one-handed flurry and even fastened a bow with quiver to the saddle before tying the man to it. Then she led it out in front and crooked her foot into the stirrup. A pained grunt escaped the brunette as she lifted herself up through sheer willpower and grabbed the reins in the other. She smacked her lips and the horse lunged forward in a gallop into the forest.

Then they were gone.
 
Last edited:
Futari No Kimochi - Kaori Wada [InuYasha]
The second one is for the middle section of the post, the cult leader's theme c:
月刀歌 [Moon Sword Song] - Katanagatari OST

The man that was Haru was merely a puppet, lumbering forward as his three words continued to slip from his lips, vocal cords straining and flaring with agony with each whispered syllable as the sticky warmth of blood soaked into his clothes, his skin, his hair. Ah, how it felt so familiar, even if he could only feel the sting of pain from a multitude of cuts inflicted upon his own face, his body had yet to be impaled... and yet, he desired it to. The Phoenix's glowing eyes focused upon the woman that called him, lips faltering as his crazed smile had slipped in a temporary lapse of his own madness. Mitsuko. The single name had rung in the man's head with such clarity, that it had nearly caused Haru in the depths of his madness of swirling previous lives, to reach to her. After all, he wasn't too far away, perhaps she would end his suffering so he could slumber. I love you. I love you.

The Phoenix's voice was quiet within his mind as the single desire rang within him, as if drawn to a new object of affection. Ah, indeed. This woman could perhaps fulfill his doomed end, this woman would throw him back into the cycle, doomed to repeat his pain, his suffering. And oh, how the Phoenix rejoiced in his madness - if the man in his trance had not been slammed into abruptly, driving the breath from his lungs and dead weight subsequently following as he hung limply over her shoulder. "I.. love you.. I love you... I love you.. so... much..." His fingers twitched, moving as he gripped the back of her clothes tightly, staining the white fabric with crimson as the Seer didn't react to her demand for him to snap out of it. How could he? This was his disgusting, foul self. True colors he had been blissfully unaware of for so very, very long. Ignorance truly was bliss, wasn't it?

Whether Haru was aware of what was happening didn't seem to be obvious as he merely allowed himself to be carried by her. The Phoenix cooed words of affection within his mind, clinging desperately to the one woman carrying him as if she were the only one within his center of focus, the only one grounding him into a world of agony, of pain. And then, the arrow had hit her, and his mind was silent... only to flood with an intensified hatred that caused the Seer to begin to struggle, ugly sounds of that of a beast ripping from his tearing throat, his teeth baring at the assailant, hands uselessly clawing at empty air as if that could possibly rip and tear at the man who dared to shoot his empress. How dare he? How dare such a insignificant being raise a hand against her? The Phoenix's hate flowed deep, maddened affection quickly turning to the blackest of hatred. Thou must die. Perish. Perish. Perish! The Phoenix screamed in his mind as his body tried its best to free itself from Mitsuko's grasp, his ugly, bestial cries never ceasing, though blood was beginning to spill freely from his lips, his eyes. His body was breaking underneath the sheer might of the Phoenix inhabiting it, for even if the Phoenix was his truest self, such a great beast could not fully inhabit a mortal shell. The mortal was dying.

His cries were growing weaker as they approached the stable, struggling once again becoming limp as such anger, such rage still flowed in his frenzied heart. Haru could feel his body beginning to cool, blood running sluggish within his veins, but the Phoenix still was urging him to continue to fight, and Haru certainly was not resisting the celestial beast's will, allowing himself to be swept up within the madness of the monster as his eyes were growing heavy, tear ducts beginning to flow with crimson, "...M...i...t..s.." His voice struggled, trying so very hard to call her name, but blood was beginning to choke him, as agony flared to life within his own body. Ah, it was burning. His organs, his heart, he could feel as if the precious insides were being melted, oozing more of the crimson that now flowed freely from his nose, his lips, his ears... but he didn't fail. He didn't fail. He couldn't fail, nor could he allow his body to rest when he knew not if she was to still live. I love you. I love you. The Phoenix's red-hot anger was cooling, exhausted too from not being able to inhabit the mortal body it desired for so very long. The Phoenix's rage was subsiding, leaving behind whispers and scars of knowledge the man didn't want to know - never desired to know.

The flames that lingered upon Haru's body slowly but surely was dying, leaving nothing but pitiful embers in its wake. The scenery he barely could see, slowly sinking deeper into a cool embrace that beckoned him. Had he finally done a good job? Had he finally succeeded? "...M...i...t..s..u...k..o..." Only her name would be able to leave from bloodied lips and closing eyes, each breath becoming far more difficult as the Phoenix within his soul seemed to feel that ever sickening feeling of adoration, mixed with an exhaustion and relief that tempted him to drift. Finally. Finally. Finally. The Phoenix whispered in his mind, a longing for oblivion that he too could feel influencing him. Finally, he could rest, he could finally allow himself to slip into a dark slumber that he had desired so strongly... he could sleep. His cold body was growing more and more limp, jostled by the movement of the horse as the Phoenix's joyful song rang within his mind, a song of relief to fall back into oblivion where the cycle would repeat forever more. A temporary reprieve where, perhaps his next life would remain ignorant to the suffering he'd endured as well as the lives before him. It was a tempting, lovely thought. He wanted to take hold of it, he wanted to die.

But, a tiny voice within the back of his mind reminded, breaking through the madness that his job was certainly not done. He tried to ignore it, desperately wishing to cover his ears to prevent himself from being lured by the persistent call. He had enough, he tired of the suffering, the pain. He wanted to sleep, to rest his weary bones, for he had succeeded to save a life he wanted to prevent from being extinguished. Wasn't it enough? Thou may rest when thine duty hast been done. The voice was both familiar and foreign, deep, gravely and grating causing Haru's closing eyes to force open as more blood caused him to choke upon it, the iron tang of his life still flowing without cease. Damn it. Frustration flared within his heart as he struggled to hold onto consciousness, his teeth baring as his breath kept being knocked from his lungs, a choked sound of pain flowing through him as he slowly was dragging himself from the Phoenix's hold, though he felt the beast desperately grabbing at him, trying to tell him to stop, to tell him that it was exhausted. It didn't want to continue, for what more remained but more pain, more suffering in this life? The next life could be better, so there was no point to keep fighting, no point to keep struggling. Why would he want to continue, knowing what he knew? Why would he want to keep carrying on? What stubbornness anchored him to this forsaken, miserable world?

His lungs struggled to breathe, gasping for air as his body protested against the action. There was still reason for him to continue, Mitsuko still lived. She still needed to be watched after, still needed his aid. He was her ally, was he not? He could not fall here, not when she still needed him. And so, the man in his dying breaths still held on, stubbornly clinging to life at the Phoenix wailed, protesting within his own head, crashing against the walls of his heart for the sweet release it knew both of them desired... and he refused. "...Mit... suko..." He whispered her name again, wheezing, as if the name was enough to anchor him into the world of the living. Remind himself, why he had went through such torment. He'd done it for her, and her alone.

And so, the man held on, clinging desperately on a single thread of life as they escaped.
...​
Within the depths of darkness, a man sat, cross legged as he gently caressed the crimson eyes, resting in a golden bowl gazing sightlessly into empty air. The man inhaled, the burning of incense trickling into the back of his throat, a smell of jasmine to cover the scent of fresh blood. Pristine white garb hung loosely about his muscular form as his eyes shifted upward to rows of souls bowing in their shame, reeking of sweat, their fear causing a tingle of pleasure to go through his spine. However, such pleasure would never be enough for the man - no, it wouldn't be enough to cool his rage that flowed through his veins, resulting in a pounding, furious headache at the base of his skull. He brought a single, crimson eyeball within his hand, rolling the plucked ruby between his fingers, as fresh as the day he'd ripped it from the poor fool's skull. What fool had it ripped it from, he wondered?

Chisuzu... that's right. Six thousand years ago, and her brilliant ruby hadn't dulled in such vibrancy. His thumb trailed over the split within the otherwise perfectly preserved sphere, his dark eyes shifting down to look upon its twin within the golden bowl resting before him. Chisuzu... no, Haru as the Seer referred to himself had escaped. His jaw clenched tightly, sucking in a sharp breath of anger as the souls before him had tensed in response. The news was distressing, no... not just distressing, it angered him. It took them so long to locate Chisuzu's following successors, and the one time he decided to perhaps relax his stance, to allow his grip to relax upon the Seer, he had escaped and not only that, the Phoenix had fully blossomed within this incarnation making it far more difficult to capture.

"...Do you not realize what you fools have done?" The man's voice, cold as a blade had caused the people before him to tremble like leaves in the wind, one such soul daring to shift terrified eyes to look up at him, before turning to look upon the bloodied tatami floor. "Fifteen years we spent searching for the newest soul, and now... now, he is gone. Do you not realize that our great empire, our nation's lifeblood relies upon the Phoenix's power?" The questions left his lips, growing in volume as his deep voice rang with far more anger, such frustration as he slammed Chisuzu's precious eye back into the bowl, a scream of rage leaving him as his fist pounded into the floor, splintering in the borrowed strength of divinity, "Do you not realize, if we do not feast soon on sacred flesh, we will perish?! How much incompetency must I deal with?!" Fear fluttered within the man's chest, like all men, he too feared death. What had been released upon the world was a Phoenix, bent and maddened, broken and screaming. He was not ignorant to the damage they had done to the sacred Phoenix, for they relied on it, preyed on it. For without her dark will, what divinity they had would vanish. It was one thing to allow his progeny to die, something that he had willingly allowed to occur if only to torment the Phoenix slightly more, ripening the soul for a bloody harvest, but now... now, he had escaped from his grasp!

The thought caused the man's body to tremble, a mortal body locked in time only due to aid of divine flesh. He didn't wish to decay, he didn't want death's grip to sink its fangs into him. Nor, did he desire to face a divine judgement... no, he refused. His breathing haggard, the man had lifted his chin, eyes wild with his rage as he bared his teeth, "I expect for you fools to not come back until the Seer is found. Do not disappoint me." A collective shouting of men and women answered his command, "Yes, Lord Eizan!" The man settled back, his hands once more finding the divine eyes as the room cleared of warm bodies, hurriedly rushing to find a divine beast as Eizan's gaze settled upon the useless eye within his grasp, slowly sinking into the panic swelling within his chest as he whispered, "My love, you shan't turn to bear your fangs at me. Prey never shall become the hunter." His thumb once more trailed across the ancient rip in the ruined ruby, "Yes... yes, I am your hunter, and you shall die. As it shall ever be, now and forevermore."
... 7 days later ...
​
Pain. That was the only thing that Haru could feel as he remained coiled within the depths of his mind, six thousand years of memories flickering to life within the depths of his consciousness as if to sear themselves in his mind. It wasn't as if he could forget, after all, the Seer couldn't forget the pain and torment he now was all too aware of that sunk teeth deep into him. In all honesty, the man didn't want to wake. He simply desired to stay within the darkness, too afraid to open his eyes to the reality that might greet him, too fearful to allow his senses to draw him back within the realm of the living. He desired to stay, wrapped within darkness, allowing the Phoenix to bear the brunt of his pain... until his body stirred.

Heavy eyelids slowly opened, the Seer's body resting upon what felt like a hard surface. The pain, the agony he felt had crashed down upon him at once, causing a groan to leave his dried lips, it was perhaps the first sign of life that Haru had shown in the seven days since the rather rushed escape. He could still taste blood on his tongue, and his body felt devoid of warmth, frigid as if the warmth of life had completely left him. His insides, although no longer felt as if they were melting, ached and throbbed as he struggled to swallow. Then, the memories flooded him again. The Seer immediately moved, his hands coming to cradle his head as the emotional torment ripped through him, causing the man to curl into a tight ball, his body protesting at the action as his fingers curled into his hair. He didn't cry, for his voice certainly didn't allow much sound to pass, crimson eyes staring ahead at nothingness as he trembled in fear. Without the Phoenix's whispers, he felt some sort of silence within his mind... but that didn't make him feel any better. Why? That question rang again in his head as the many incarnations before him had assaulted his memories, ripping open the deep scars they had left behind. Tears sprung to his eyes, a pitiful sound managing to leave the Seer's lips, his throat protesting at the broken, mangled sobs that left him.

Truly, the man was broken beyond repair, a shell of the haughty and confident man he presented himself as. Maddened, crazed eyes stared blankly at empty air as hot tears stung at his face, healing from the injuries he had subjected himself to. It wasn't until his hand had moved that his eyes landed on the bracelet that still remained upon his wrist. Mitsuko. Her name rang with clarity in his thoughts, temporarily halting the flow of horrid, painful memories as the man cradled his wrist closer to his chest, trembling as the fingers upon his right would curl around the bracelet, rolling the pearls between his fingers as his strangled sobs didn't cease, an ugly, broken sound for certain, but now his eyes shifted wildly about the unknown location. Mitsuko? Mitsuko? Mitsuko? Her name rang out panicked within his mind, his lips unable to speak her name due to fear still choking him, and agony still ripping through his panicked state. She was the only one who would perhaps be even slightly familiar to him, and more than ever the man could recall she had been injured while they had been attempting to escape. Did he fail her after all? This thought only seemed to cause the man more distress as his hands had once more returned to his hair, pulling at the locks as his body shivered, choked sounds leaving him as his distress intensified.
 

805
Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: Second half of post after 'I'm here Haru'
The night welcomed them regardless of who they were, merely another pair of travellers amongst the milky specks for it. Like the stars held the promise of day in their sunlight reminiscence so did her breaths. Sparkling gusts of grey that dispersed in wishes of tomorrow against the cool breeze. Despite it being summer there was a chill in the air. Something like rime settling in the joints of clasped hands, unmoving, and in the whiteness of her lips. Or perhaps it wasn't the air that was cold, perhaps it was her. A veil of lethargy over the eyelashes that struggled to hold the weight of heavy lids and in the limpness of her rocking to the horse's trodding pace.

The urgent gallop had transitioned to a more secure trot and then now, an ambling of the hooves that had her swaying back and forth. Almost wagging to sleep to its rhythm but then straightening to attention again at the whimpers of the man that laid across the back of the horse. The man would grunt, an inarticulate way of expressing his pain, and she would answer in a quip: "You're being so loud for a back passenger". He would cough, gargle between life and death on the blood that was meant to supply his veins, and she would reach back and turn his mouth to the ground in a dripping mess of red. Cooing, "Don't you dare go choking on me now", quite softly despite the rigid grip on his jaw.

At last, he would call out her name in fumbling syllables. Like a breathless prayer that he refused to yield to the wounds littering his body and clung to in hope of etherizing the pain. A prayer that was rekindled on her own lips as she would whisper his name back in exchange:

"I'm here, Haru".

The consistent ambling led them to a river and she crawled, with much effort, onto her stomach to then slid down onto the ground in a collapsing pile of limbs. The impact barely making a dent in terms of pain as she was largely numb at this point. She grabbed the flailing stirrup with a grunt and in a move of thighs rooting themselves against the ground, she squirmed her way up to her feet. Crumbled momentarily against the warm fur of the horse as she leaned and panted before, with the same right hand, reached for the abnormality sticking out in wood from her back. Not a bone certainly, as she with a sharp inhale and gasp, pulled it out. The time ticking quickly on the clock in awkward shuffling and one-handed untying of the Seer after.

She willed his sleeping form against her chest, arms unable to embrace him fully as the left hand hung limply along her side, and hoisted him onto herself. Once again tipping over as the weight became too much and this time landed on her back, the man securely clasped in her arm. "How...can you...be so heavy...when you're this small..?" A dry chuckle was drawn out from the conflated ashen lips, a little hurried and bursting at the seams of a familiar grin. As if she was afraid, she might not get to do it again and therefore forced it out before regaining composure. Mitsuko wormed her way out from under the man, rolled him onto his back and took support against a tree in her panting.

Hand willing obi and fabric to slide down to reveal the bloodied shoulder underneath, she steeled her mouth on the hem and ripped it off in a long strip. Closed her eyes for but a second upon which her head dipped, sinking slowly into the comfortable darkness that awaited beyond. Haru, his name echoed into existence in her mind and she stirred. Jumped to life with a flinch and continued to roll the kimono down until she had unhindered access to her arm. The act of wrapping the strip around it, a painful and clumsy endeavour of teeth pulling the knot tight and body keeling over onto the ground in a gasping mess afterwards. As she did, she noticed that there was a lack of difference in warmth between her cheek and the soil and she had to drag herself upright again.

Clothes in mouth and naked skin inching over the earth, she made her way back to the Seer. Her working hand grabbed the end of his belt and began pulling his clothes undone in an agonizingly slow process. "Ugh-" The sudden exposure of his fair skin did little to bring any blood to her cheeks, but her brows still knitted "Sorry about this Haru, it's for survival". Skin against skin, and with her kimono as cover she laid down beside the man. Shuffled in under his arm to rest her head on the shoulder and extended her leg over his body to maximise the touching areas.

She did not have a second to think about the consequences of the man waking up to the scene the day after before she drifted off in her exhaustion.

-Which was fine, because the Seer didn't wake up. For 7 whole days after that was. She, on the other hand, had woken up feeling like death the day after. Limbs too weak to carry her anywhere she as she rolled herself over to the river and submerged her mouth into the streaming water. In its aftermath had a number of troubling dilemmas presented themselves. Such as the one that she was naked and needed clothes and the other being that she was hungry. Once again she turned to the Seer, the man likely to chew her out over the solution that she had found.

Dressed in the Seer's garbs and with the man shyly covered up with her kimono, she had set off to secure their survival. Grabbing a pair of men's clothes from a nearby clothing line and uprooting some sweet potatoes from said house's field before returning with her new conquests. As she repeated this and ground herbs to apply in salve over the man's wounds, life slowly began to revert into a monotony. The nights long and quiet as she stared at the Seer's sleeping silhouette that flickered in jaundice under the campfire's flames and the days, hot and humid. As if the winter she had felt only nights before had been but a passing sea breeze.

In its monotony, she also found time to think. The thoughts of that night's events many but the answer far and few between. She did not know the Seer yet she had saved him. In the frenzied state, he had been in he could have easily killed her the moment she had emerged from the distraction and yet- he hadn't. Chanting something along the likes of 'I love you' while clinging onto her for his dear life on the contrary. She had realised then and now that it hadn't been directed at her but then who? Who could warrant such a reaction from him and for what reason?

The man in his peaceful composure of closed lids was a threat. A liability to her safety in his unpredictability. Yet it was him she returned to at the end of every day, and it was him she slept beside under the crackling of the fire and stars alike. She was lost, unable to see any purpose in doing anything else but remain by his side. She couldn't go back home, and she wasn't the Empress anymore- what remained for her to do in this life?

So, she waited, a bundle of knees pulled tightly into her chest and a singular arm holding them. Empty, she was empty she discovered one day while gazing at the farmers working their fields. She had no plans for the future and her arm did not get any better no matter how much she willed it. The farmers had their crops to tend to and the crops waited on the farmers for the right moment to be plucked. But who was waiting for her?

The crying Seer apparently. The man had stirred from his sleep in her journey to the market and now she was standing there. Hiding behind a tree with a basket full of stolen goods as she listened to his pitiful sobbing and broken wails. Much like a child in that regard, probably covered in snot as well as he was in the picture in her head in the unbridled waterworks. The way she had immediately slid up behind the stem had been instinct, almost as if she was afraid of being seen by the man. Perhaps she was in a way, the tightening of her chest making it difficult to breathe and think. Unaccustomed to talking and maybe a bit unsure on how to approach him after the many embarrassing moments she had shared with the man the past few days.

Her pursed lips twitched at the notion of his loneliness. A short-lived spark of vengefulness in 'that's what you get for leaving me alone for that many days' lingering at the edge of a curled smile. A smile that quickly turned into guilt in the formation of a frown to the half-choking sounds. The brunette drew a sigh, her hiding coming to an end as she towered into view for the verdant haired boy at his feet. "-Hey, why are you crying?" There was a hint of discontent in the cinereous eyes that glanced askance at the glimpse of his red cheeks "-I sure hope it isn't for me because I'm not dead as you can see". Her face softened ever so slightly at the thought of her newfound company, and she hoisted the basket under her working arm up with such a tender curve to her lips. “Though I am happy to see you too-“ Her face looked younger, more refreshed in its missing red eyeshadow and dark liner. Like the face of a girl her age, twenty summers and blossoming.

“-Haru.”

 
Kiwamete Okimari na... - Katanagatari OST
Death Flag No.1 #13 - Katanagatari OST [after Haru begins to request for Mitsuko to kill him]

Haru, a trembling man - no, a boy that had been flooded with thousands of years of torment, reduced to trembling limbs and overflowing tears, had froze at the sound of her voice. His sobbing had slowly silenced itself, trembling although remaining in the way he lay curled in on himself. She's alive. The relief that flooded through him from head to toe was a reprieve from the anxiety that had been assaulting him just moments before. His throat bobbed as he swallowed, breathing in sharply as he struggled to sit up, disbelief as obvious as day within the crazed crimson eyes that stared back at Mitsuko, the pale skin of his cheeks reddened from his crying, marred by healing scabs, his hair in a frantic disarray about his head. If Haru hadn't been scarred by his mental bombardment of agony, the man perhaps would have been embarrassed by his disheveled state, would have even forced Mitsuko away from him, to turn away, if only to vainly attempt to make himself more presentable. But, the man merely stared in silence, the disbelief fading as the man lowered his gaze to the floor, his fractured mind seeming to try to process this information, to process the words she had spoken to him.

His shoulders slumped, thin frame suddenly appearing as if some invisible strings had been cut. A limp puppet, he appeared to be as his lips moved, trembling as if to speak, the first words he would ever say within the week he'd been unconscious. "..I.. didn't.. fail.." The words were spoken so softly, so quietly in his mangled voice, that it almost didn't seem like he'd spoken at all. His arms circled around his middle as his throat let out another, strangled, broken sound, grating against his own ears as he laughed. It seemed as if his torment was well worth it, if this woman would live. She lived, she survived, she still breathed. He didn't fail his duty this time, he had saved her life, he prevented her death. It was such a sweet relief that flooded him from head to toe, that couldn't help the mirth that suddenly grabbed hold of him, even if now it was tainted with tears anew falling down reddened cheeks, his head hanging as his thin frame trembled, "Thank goodness... thank... goodness.. it was-" He paused, sucking in a painful breath as he recalled once more the painful memories that rose within him again, scratching at his mind as the Seer suddenly had moved away from her as if he'd suddenly been struck, his hands coming to his head as a strangled, anguished sound left his lips.

His torment, was it worth it? Yes, certainly. But now the man was struggling against the horrid memories he would be forever stuck with, his breathing ragged as if fresh pain had been inflicted upon him. From the outside, Haru was hale and hearty, if not slightly damaged from his frenzied state earlier, but his mind... oh, his mind was damaged certainly. The fear that reflected in his eyes was overwhelming any relief that had been there previously as he whispered, "It hurts, it hurts, it hurts..." His skin crawled, phantom pain of years prior resurfacing as he almost could feel the biting, the tearing, the ripping... oh how wonderfully painful it was, to remember such torture. It would almost make him laugh, if the man wasn't in so much mental agony as his knees drew up, forehead resting upon them as his thin arms coiled around his legs, only to lightly smack his forehead against his knees as if that could get the pain to stop. Behavior befitting of a madman, hollowed eyes and fearful whispers as he repeated the painfilled words over and over again. It was as if he was an abused animal, showing nothing but terror, unrestrained, primal terror; leaving the man little more than a gibbering mess of incomprehensible agony.

Thou hast thine duty. Fulfill thine role. Thou art no pitiful, writhing creature. If thou hath the strength to breathe, thou must needs fight.

The unknown voice made Haru suddenly stop, as if the madness he'd been gripped by had passed, leaving the man as silent as death. His breathing rattled within his chest, unsteady and trembling as the voice that rang through his mind with such clarity had left him speechless, silent. Fight? His fingers curled into balled fists, his jaw clenching tightly as the voice didn't reply, leaving him alone in silence. What strength had he left? What mental fortitude did this unknown voice expect him to have? He just wanted to slip into sleep again, yes, yes! That's what he desired. This nightmare that scratched and ripped at his mind, he didn't want to feel it anymore. He didn't want to think, nor did he feel like he had the strength to move. He was tired.

What of thy companion? Wilt thou be a burden to she? She who hath protected you? Wilt thou repay her kindness with cowardice? Pathetic fool. Wailing beast, as long as thy hath strength to move, thou must fight.

Irritation flared within his chest, anger reflecting in his empty eyes. Who was this voice to mock him? What the hell did this voice know? Not a damned thing! Did it know what he had to suffer? What he had to endure? Six thousand years of torment, of agony all within mere moments of each other. And the Phoenix, oh the Phoenix in its terrifying visage, it still danced before his eyes, tormenting him. The anger had caused the man to tremble, bracing himself as he could hear contempt within the voice that filled his mind: Hast thou found thine strength? Or wilt thou scream and flail, lick thine wounds and cower within thy prison of thine own making?

Who was this voice to taunt him? To mock him in the midst of his suffering? He took in a shaky breath, the anger that had flared to life had faded as the memories, so haunting had grabbed at his mind, disrupting the flare of rage that had settled in his heart. That was right, he was weak. Pathetic and so very, very tired. His head smacked once more against his knees, one single time as a frustrated and exhausted breath passed his cracked, dry lips, causing the man to slowly raise his head again to stare up at Mitsuko, his hollow gaze peering at her as if she were nothing more than a stranger to him, his previous relief having already died within his chest, as he took in her appearance. It was... odd, seeing her be truly youthful. No longer painted to be older than she was, simply being a young woman. Pretty in her own right, but it did little to stir Haru's trouble mind and even more so troubled heart. His eyes lowered to her arm, the one of which she didn't seem to be able to use. Injured. Injured... The fragmented observation rang within his head as he closed his eyes, feeling a tinge of shame flood through him.

She had been taking care of him this entire time... perhaps the voice that spoke to him was right. All he was repaying her with was cowardice, but how... how could he react any differently with the pain still biting and scratching at him, flashes of old lovers passing within his mind's eye, causing his heart to bleed in anguish. Betrayal, he'd be betrayed once more. As Mai-Jing would have done to him. Ah, fresh pain filled him at the former empress's name as it filtered through his mind, causing such stress that the man rapidly shook his head as if doing so would physically push the pain away. No, not his dearest Mai-Jing! But... the vision of her, he knew it was truth, such bitter and painful truth that caused Haru such anguish, the man nearly allowed his weak body to fall to the ground again, to close his eyes and simply block out the world. But, he couldn't. He wouldn't, not when Mitsuko was still here.

His eyes opened again to stare at her, then his lips parted as a chilling sentence left him, "...Kill me." Empty eyes stared blankly at her from a face that had fallen into apathy, a request that seemed so utterly absurd that Haru even would ask of her to do such a thing after she went through such lengths to save him. However, the man was at his lowest point, his mind struggling against the voice that mocked him, and his own fractured mind that the Phoenix seemed ever so closer to him, sinking in her desire to drag him down with it. A selfish, bitter wish spoken from a madman's lips, but the desire to live certainly didn't seem to be seen in Haru's empty, crimson eyes. No, there was no true life there, nothing that spoke of the Seer that regarded Mitsuko with such disdain, no energy - nothing. Whatever had happened to cause such a drastic change in the man clearly had left him a broken shell that was merely existing in this moment, limp and trembling as contradicting thoughts continued to rage in the man's head. For a moment, Haru remained as still as a statue, staring blankly at Mitsuko, only to shift his position.

The man's weak body, with so very little strength had moved to rest upon his hands and knees, reduced to a slow crawl as his chest heaved with the effort, "...Kill me.." His hand reached out, thin, slender fingers gripping the edge of her clothing as his crazed eyes stared up at her, desperation beginning to spark to life in the maddened, broken gaze that stared up at her. Pathetic, sniveling beast he was, repaying her efforts with such a selfish desire, but the scratching of memories was sinking its icy grip into him as the Phoenix delighted in his request, "..Kill me." He repeated the two words again, his body trembling from his current position, quivering from head to toe as tears that had temporarily stopped had flowed again. Oblivion. Oblivion... end me, destroy me, please. Please. The Phoenix begged within his own maddened, crazed mind, overwhelming logical thought and desire. Never would Haru allow himself to act in such a manner before, never would he beg for another to kill him, but after what he'd seen... oh what he had seen.
 
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805
Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: I want you - Mitski
The Seer was a riddle, a paradoxical amassment of dilated pupils and guffawing laughter in one moment and angry crinkling in the next, eyes stirring after an unknown voice and lips reminiscing in slobbering wails. He was a broken figure, trying to stabilise the cracks in his facade in balled up limbs and the drumming of his forehead against knees. As if the thoughts that haunted him were too painful to live and let live and breaths stuttering as if the task of living at all was too overwhelming.

The deer that couldn’t run and the child that couldn't hide. Mitsuko crouched down to his level, her smile faltering at once and lids extending in purple shadows and fine lines beneath the gaze that tried to solve him. Tried to understand how the dignified man she had met under the temple's arching hallways could have been reduced to this. Maybe even a little bit annoyed by the fact in the lips that pressed together at his fumbling hand and the pronounced sigh that articulated her feelings on the scene. Was this what she had been waiting for these seven days? Was this the person she had sacrificed her arm for? Was this the person that was supposed to give her purpose? Was this how Hayate saw her all those times she had come running for him, crying?

"...Kill me." It was as if the world had shrunk, compressed all its materia into the lump that hit rock bottom in her gut and released her hand in turn like clockwork. Basket with all its apples and beets hitting the ground in a thud and scattering at their feet in her shattered composure. The tangent which the two crossed in being her palm; brought across the man's cheek in pins and needles.

Her chest heaved with something heavier than pity but shallower than empathy. Sharper than anger but quite not as deadly as hatred. It snapped all her lines in flailing facial features. Fear, desperation and anger all bordering on the edge of bunched up eyes and downturned corners as she with a trembling breath declared- "You're disgusting."

Her voice hinged on a scoff as she rose to her feet, bitter and pointed in its self-absorbed curdling of her guts. Distributed the nausea out in colourless vehemence across a clenched fist and piercing eyes as she seethed:

"-Don't ever ask me that again."

The brunette turned on her heel in one snappy movement and gave way to the woods in an unstoppable march. Trembling legs only folding and bated breath only bursting out in a sputter of snorts then chuckles and finally sobs once she was out of sight. The pain seeped in searing eyes, tears falling before she could stop them, and a wailing shudder that shook her to the core.

Just a whole lot of 'I'm sorry' and 'I wanna go home' blubbering over the distant rumble of her childhood self's laughter and camaraderie with the young Hayate. The ugly, the beautiful and the bad all dissolving into invisible sand, slipping through her fingers. A shrill and breathless 'I don't know what to do' the concluding note to it all in a one-handed mask over her face.

A prayer, lost on the callouses of her hand as she begged:

"Someone...please, tell me what to do."

The silence droned in feathery and fragile, a sound easy enough to break but that was quick to quicksand someone in the way it surrounded them. It swallowed her, seeped in through the broken seams of her figure and stuffed her whole again. Once again alive-

-Once again alone.

The brunette rose to her feet once more, hand steadying itself on her shaky knee- and she walked away. Away from the scene, the Seer and herself.

In her absence day turned to night, the shadows deepening the hues of the forest into a menacing mass that threatened to absorb their temporary camp and the stars- pulling a bundle of tattered fabric out of its hiding place. The flames of the campfire licked her silhouette listlessly, the girl assuming an equally drained position of crossed legs in front of it. The act of pushing the first words out was an agonizingly slow process. Deep inhale and exhale preceding the inevitable “You cannot die yet”.

Mitsuko picked up a branch from the ground to stoke the burning cinders with. “I’m going to become Empress again,” Her lips set into a grim line, a bit fearful, a bit upset still as she added “-And I need you. I need you, Haru”.

So, don’t go. Don’t leave me alone.


 
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Obokuri-Eeumi (Obtain our Bearings) - Ikue Asazaki

A slap. A slap was what the man received in return for his desperate begging for release from this mortal coil. His head snapped back in the motion, the stinging of her hand causing the man only shock as his head slowly turned to stare at Mitsuko, the anger that twisted her face and the venomous words that followed, ringing with bitterness and seething rage. She called him disgusting. Haha... hahaha... The broken, fragmented laughter began to ring within his head as his body was merely frozen in that moment in time as she turned from him, feeling the Phoenix's madness beginning to grow, sinking into the crevices of his heart as his warm tears dripped down his cheeks. And soon, he was left alone. Alone. Ever shall be the Phoenix's fate, asking for permanent death and never receiving it. Denied it, to be tortured again, and again, and again. And this caused a tightening in the man's throat, a broken chuckle leaving his lips, shoulders shaking and chest heaving as he threw back his head, unable to stop the maddened giggles that ripped from a ruined, wounded throat. Oh, how funny it is! How cruel it is!

His madness swirled, poison sinking into his veins, flowing through his body as the Phoenix cried out in his frustration.

"Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why do you deny me now? Why?!"

The question rippled through his cracked lips, a twisted and anguished smile twisting its way upon his face, knowing full well that his anguished, maddened questions would never be answered. A beast that cried, sinking deep in misery, in suffering as it only desired for it to end. An end.. an end. The man took in a shuddering breath, the laugh fading as his crimson eyes stared hollow and empty where Mitsuko had left. Very well, if she'd not give him an end to his suffering, to throw himself into the afterlife... he would do it himself, with his own hands. The desire had caused the broken soul to force his weak body to stand to his feet, his bad leg buckling in protest at the action, resulting in him falling to the ground again, a huff of breath leaving him as his body struggled back upon hands and knees, pathetically beginning to crawl, stones and dirt sinking into the skin of his hands, ripping against his knees. His breathing was that of a maddened beast's, each exhale heavy and each inhale sharp. He knew not how much time passed him, nor did he very much care as his crawling pace was truly pathetic, dragging his broken, weakened body through the denseness of unknown forest.

Thou art selfish. Pathetic.

The voice rang within Haru's mind, unknown and disgusted, causing only the man to freeze for a second, only for the crazed man to laugh, continuing his slow crawl as he whispered, his throat straining with each word, "It doesn't matter." He knew he was, he was as disgusting as Mitsuko no doubt had seen him as. A broken, pathetic and poisoned creature crawling toward its own death, willingly seeking it to fall into eternal sleep. Yes, the cold embrace of death is what he desired, for the whispers of the Phoenix in his mind beckoned him closer to it, its desire mixing in with his own. He was tired, he didn't want to continue. Mitsuko didn't need him, not as he was now - he knew that better than anything else. The whispers of his many, many lives beckoned to him, luring him to a sheer drop, one that he knew he would never come back from, and he desired it. It didn't matter how much pain his body was in now as he dragged himself across the forest floor, it didn't matter how much his lungs were protesting, his insides coiled in agony... no, it didn't matter. None of it did to him anymore.

Shades flickered to life before his eyes as he made his painful journey, previous incarnations whispering in his ears as they walked the path before them, a foul hallucination as their broken bodies, as twisted as the day they died - all walking down a path that he willingly followed. Come. Come. They whispered, beckoning him, broken, hanging innards and ripped skin, plastered, crazed smiles and eye sockets empty. Broken arms and broken legs, gnashing teeth and crazed whispers, oh how it made the man let out a strained giggle. "Soon." He whispered the single word, the disgusting shades slowly but steadily leading him to a raging river, the violent rapids ringing in his ears, temporarily stopping the man in his pitiful crawling as the shades proceeded to march in steely determination into the waters. Come. Come. Their voices beckoned, the phantoms of previous lives lingering now within the raging currents as they raised their hands to him, bitten fingers and ripped nails, men and women beckoning with the single command for him to make the final few feet needed to fall into the raging current before him. A fire can be extinguished in these waters. The Phoenix cooed in his mind, tears afresh returning to his mind as he whispered, throat straining, "Extinguished..."

As if within a trance, the man crawled forward to the beckoning shades, thin fingers reaching out toward their ghostly grasp... then he tumbled into the raging river waters. The frigid cold was the first to hit him as the violent tide drove the breath from his lungs, his weak body giving little resistance to the violent tide as water filled his mouth, his nose. He could not see, the violent tide ripping at his eyes and stinging them, the river bed ripping and dragging at his clothes, sharp rocks tearing at soft, unmarked skin and stinging at open cuts. Human instinct for self-preservation only began to cause the man to struggle, with the flailing of hands, however the deceased he could feel beginning to pull at his clothes, dragging him further down into the river's raging current, ripping him from a surface that would promise him life and oxygen. Then, he heard a voice call his name, sweet and warm as the day he'd failed her.

"Haru, Haru!" Gentle hands had rested upon the side's of Haru's face as he saw a pale figure approaching him within the darkness of his consciousness; the pale figure being a beautiful harbinger of death, a monster that took up the skin of his precious beloved. Mai-Jing, her face wearing the same twisted expression he'd seen in his nightmarish vision of a future he avoided, her hair a wild disarray about her head, her hands and breath smelled of blood as she cooed, fingers brushing along his cheekbones in a gentle caress. "Haru.." She called again, the twisted smile never leaving her face as she spoke such a beautiful lie, "I love you." His lungs was burning, begging for air as the lie had moved closer to him, face becoming ever clearer and mouth smeared with ripped skin and blood, teeth stained red with the life giving liquid, "I love you." Ah, how his heart swelled at that lie, a smile pulling at his lips as his weak hands reached to grasp at his beloved's face, to run his fingers through dark brown hair. It didn't matter if she lied, it didn't matter if this was a mere dream, he didn't wish to wake from it. I love you. I love you. I love you. The joyful thought rang through his mind, blocking out the agony his living body was being subjected to, the agony his lungs was begging of him to rise to the surface for air. No, he didn't want to breathe if he could no longer see Mai-Jing as clearly as she was now.

His eyes burned, as if attempting to make tears that would be washed away just as quickly, the monster leaning closer to him, her fingers coiling within his hair, slipping down his neck, his jawline, all the while she was becoming more and more physical before his eyes within the darkness of the river water. His skin couldn't feel her touch, the monster's head lowering as if to kiss him... then he felt his body being torn away. The specter vanished before his eyes as brightness blinded him, the world spinning rapidly as shock settled within his system, air forced into his lungs as the bitter chill hit him like a brick wall. The man's body slammed into the earth, violent coughs leaving him as the wind bit at his skin and clothes, violently ripping at an accumulation of new wounds he had willingly subjected himself to. A roar upon the wind followed, furious with its volume enough to vibrate the man's very bones as he coughed violently, his body expelling the foul river water from his mouth as the voice, mysterious and furious rang within his mind: Thou art a fool! Thou dare dance with death, to throw thou life away?! Doth thee know no shame!?

His teeth clenched, a violent anger soaring in his lips as he screamed, his hands slamming down within the drenched earth, his voice trembling with his anguish, "Damn you! Damn you to hell! I didn't ask to be saved! Mai-Jing... Mai-Jing, she was..." His body trembled as anguished sobs ripped his lips, his body trembling at the bitter cold that sank into his bones, "Why?! Why won't you let me die!? WHY?!" He slammed his bleeding hands into the soggy earth, tears streaming down his face, contrasting itself against the bitter cold, howling as if the world had forsaken him. Mai-Jing had felt so close to him in that moment than ever before, he was so close.. so close... and yet, the world dragged him back from the brink. "Why?! WHY? WHY?!" He screamed the question, sobbing his pain, wailing and thrashing as the wounded beast ripped at the ground, as if that could vent some of his frustration, his rage. "WHY-" The question left his lips again, only for a violent wind to lash against him, picking him up and tossing him violently into the side of a tree, the pain driving the breath from his lungs as he collapsed to the floor, gasping for air.

Thou ask 'why'? To flail like a child, and gnash thine teeth at thy duty... pathetic and foolish, weak and shameful! Doth thee see nothing but thine own pain?

Haru's body shook as he struggled to sit upright, but another gust of violent wind slammed against him, a startled cry leaving his lips as he once more was driven into the tree with violent force: Thy companion hast burdens of her own, yet doth thee see her throw her life away? Nay! Another buffet of wind ripped at the man, driving dirt into his face, choking him as the air was driven from his lungs. Thou art disgusting, frail beast! Doth thee hast no fight?! Weak! Weak! Weak! Haru wheezed, his body aching from the violent winds, far too weak to begin to struggle against the wind attacking him as it slowly died down, the roaring in his ears settling into bitter silence as the man gasped for air, tears dripping anew from his face, sobbing as the voice soon came again.

Crying solves nothing, pathetic fool. If thee must find a reason for thine life, search for it and hold onto it. There is no greater sin than to throw thine life away. Thou hast a mortal master, doth thy not? Go.

With those words, the voice had fallen into silence, leaving the sobbing man on his own, coiled up in a pitiful wreck of ripped skin and water-sodden clothes. He cried, and cried, wailing until he could no longer feel the urge to do so, until his throat could no longer emit the weak sounds, until his eyes could no longer produce tears, until his heart felt empty, void of the pain that had been so intense, it had caused him to break. He lay, freezing upon the soiled, damp earth, staring at the raging river waters, the brilliant blue skies of day slowly beginning to turn into the redness of noon skies. And then, the man moved, his weak body collapsing once. Twice. Thrice... his teeth gritted at the pain, the agony but he was alive. Alive. "A... duty.." He whispered the words, beginning his slow, and pathetic crawl back to the place he had disgraced himself. "A... duty..." The cold air of noon bit at his ripped clothes and open wounds, causing the man to flinch in agony. But he was alive.

"A... duty..."
...​
The darkness of night had settled upon the skies as Haru had finally collapsed in the spot Mitsuko had left him in, his body lacking the strength to stand as he struggled to get to the nearest tree to rest his weary body against, his crimson eyes staring at empty air. His stomach twisted with agony, with pain, the throbbing of countless wounds that had opened upon his skin, dirtied with earth had made the man wince... but life still flowed within him. A duty. The two words repeated endlessly in his mind as he heard approaching footsteps, his head turning in Mitsuko's direction, the flicker of the campfire casting shadows across her face. A duty.

Silence had settled between the two, the broken man closing his eyes, feeling exhaustion pulling at his limbs as he inhaled and exhaled slowly, then she spoke. The words she spoke caused his eyes to open as he stared at her, crimson eyes reflecting the light of the fire that burned between them. It was hard to determine if his eyes still held the brokenness as he was uncharacteristically silent as she had made her bold proclamation. She needed him to live, she needed him to become empress again. The man's expression didn't change, staring blankly at her for a few moments, battered and bruised, wounded and broken... and yet she needed him still. "...A duty, huh..." The words had slipped from his lips, no doubt confusing to hear from a rather sorry sight as him. He forced his broken, battered body to move, the creaking of his joints and agony settling within him at the physical pain. I cannot join the dead, just yet. You must wait Mai-Jing, a little longer.

The Seer, the man who bowed his head to no one had forced his battered and bruised body to kneel, bowing his head to Mitsuko, shivering from head to toe, his voice, broken and trembling from his screaming earlier, "...I will become your sword, your shield.." He raised his head, the fires of the campfire reflecting in haunted yet determined eyes, "If you desire... to become empress... then I'll fulfill it to the best of my ability. No matter what it may cost me, Mitsuko." I'm still needed. The fires that had died in the man seemed to flare up once more, disheveled as he was, broken as he was, whatever had occurred during the time she had left something had changed in the man. A reignition of determination within furrowed brows and a firmly set expression, the Phoenix rising from a broken and pitiful state, for the man was pushing aside his agony, ignoring the clutches of tragedy that was clinging to him, for he now was looking at Mitsuko, beholding her truly for what she was, crimson eyes that peered all-knowing back at the woman who requested him to still live, to dare breathe when the dead beckoned to him. She had sacrificed to save him, now he would repay that debt before he would allow himself to rest. He must.

I'm still needed. I must fulfill my duty.
 

805
Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: I want you - Mitski
The encroaching darkness invited chills into her bones, made her shrink even further in on herself in hunched shoulders and a hand, clamping fingers into the numb flesh of her arm. In their towering shadows, the tree stems appeared more like walls, constantly pushing in towards her, and the campfire the candle she would religiously curl up around. She didn't dare avert her gaze from the flames, lest they would blow out into the night and leave her cowering in its ashes. Or perhaps that was just another lie she told herself, like the tale she spun about becoming Empress again.

Her first opportunity to make a choice of her own and she went back to the road that had already been paved for her. Truly, it made her chuckle. ‘I am the Empress! No rule applies to me because I am Heaven's chosen. I made it so’- was it? Even in this self-made prison did her former words echo cruelly against the confines of her flesh, nails pushing into the fabric of her arm in an attempt to draw blood. Nonetheless no amount of bloodshed would free her from the shackles that she now carried. Doubt having already laid claim to her in the thoughts that festered inside her head.

For why had she desired the throne in the first place? Because she couldn't handle the guilt of having another human life stain her hands? Then had she not failed when she issued the order of the Ministers execution? To lead a life of her own? One that was preordained by Hayate in his tantalising whispers of power only to have it turn out to be another prison? Her guards more subversive in their constant undermining and cullying whip lashes but nevertheless just as restrictive. To survive? Yes, that was once the reasoning she had chosen to explain her endeavour with.

To the exact man that was now pledging his life to her supposed cause, in fact. His eyes, brimming with a fire of their own that threatened to burn holes in her paper-thin sham of unmoving facial muscles. Perhaps she even wished that he would, the lump in her throat refusing to budge no matter how many times she swallowed and ashen eyes- deflecting his enthusiasm in a shifty caution. The kind of telltale signs that reeked of guilty conceit in all clammed up jaws and a throaty "Yes, my sword and my shield...". She could swear that she felt an electric current darting down her limp arm in a climax of a twitching finger at the enunciation of the word sword. When she glanced, however, it was as still and lifeless as ever.

A sigh and a grazing look over his kneeling form, the brunette regarded the man who had asked her to end him in bleak hesitation. Or had it all been just mere greed? A desire for something she could not have- The authority to rule singlehandedly, to do as she desired whether it was smoke, drink or fuck, to be friends, to be human- to survive and to die. A deep-rooted ingratitude for what she had once possessed and what she no longer owned. Her back settled against the stem on a tree behind her along with the 206 bones in her body.

Perhaps it wasn’t the flames she was worried for, perhaps it was herself. All smouldering ashes and no determination to either lit anew or blow out like the Seer had showcased. Lighting up and fading, lighting up and fading, lighting up and fading-.

In comparison to him she was a coward. Afraid to ask why. Why the Seer wished for death, why he was so ready to embrace it and why she was not. Because if she did, she would be exposed for the impostor that she was. So instead she turned her body away from him, away from the shame that still stung in unsaid words on her tongue. Put up a front of authority by commanding the Seer.

“Then your first task will be to stay by my side tonight.” Her back looked extra small and broken in the dancing light of the fire, all sharp lines folding in on themselves in bones “It’s enough if you just sit beside me. I just…”.

Her voice hitched in her throat.

“-Hate the dark”.

Even when asking for death he had been extraordinarily dazzling. Again another honesty she couldn’t bring herself to confront. Again, another thing to run from. At least for the moment she had a distraction, that being closed lids counting down to tomorrow. Tomorrow when the Seer had forgotten her hurtful words, tomorrow when she had forgotten his request, tomorrow when her arm was working again and tomorrow- when she was once again Empress.

 
A Mother's Pride [Yanxia Night Theme] - FFXIV OST

As the Seer stared back at her, he could see through her. The frailty within her expression even if she attempted to hide it, her words lacking true conviction. None of it went by unnoticed, and yet he would not dare comment. The woman before him had saved him from a grizzly fate, denied him death and was now demanding of him to stay at her side, to reach a title that she had lost, a cursed seat that he knew was foul and rotting, for his past deemed it so. Yet, the man was as much of a fool as she, to even agree to put her in a position that would only cause one to sink into the depths of misery, to claim boldly that he'd be her sword and shield, when he as himself was a beaten and broken husk, barely holding onto the spark of determination that had been fanned by wicked winds that chastised him earlier. How quick he had been to throw it all away just hours before, to leave this woman on her own. Ah, guilt had settled within the determination that was within his chest as determined eyes turned to look away from her, his body quaking from the pain of kneeling before her.

Perhaps he certainly was no better than this woman, reeking of weakness. Yes, two cowards indeed that only was holding onto vague notions of goals, but where he wished to die, she wished to survive. The string of fate between them, teetering between life and death was the only bond that they had, for she was still but a stranger in his eyes, a replacement for a beloved that would have been a monster, ripping teeth into his flesh and delighting in his dying breaths. Yes... a replacement, although he held no adoration for her, no strong emotions and merely neutrality, he was willing enough to do all he could for her. If that could lead him to an inevitable death, he'd gladly do so. It was a selfish reason, a reason he would never say out loud for he thought she would see him lesser than he was now, a beast that longed for death's embrace and was only using her for convenience if only to put a promised blade eventually at a bleeding neck.

A grunt of pain had left him as his weak body had protested at his kneeling action, a sharp exhaling leaving past plump lips as he allowed himself to finally settle upon the forest floor, unable to hold himself into the position of kneeling for much longer. And then, she spoke, gave him an order. This caused Haru to look toward her once more, the frail woman and her pitiful, broken request. Dearest, beloved fool. The Phoenix cooed in his mind, although the beast's whisper was almost too far away, as if weakened by his failed attempt at death earlier. Yes, she certainly was a fool and he would not see her any other way, but he was as much of a fool as she. So, upon bleeding hands and knees had the Seer made slow movements to the woman's side, eventually settling near her, but not close enough for him to touch her. Never that. The man's skin would prove to only be icy, frigid, as if the raging rivers had sucked all the vitality out of his skin, the Phoenix himself beginning to show the true extent of his exhaustion. She claimed that she hated the dark, the man's expression grew grim, memories scratching at his mind.

He... longed for the darkness, desired to drown himself in a emptiness of death so he could never wake. He could not understand her sentiment, as mortal as she was, to long for the brightness of a warm fire, of day. He on the other hand was a being, even if mortal would be rebirth countless lives, constantly seeing a new dawn again and again, pain and blood, love and suffering. He'd perhaps experience it for the rest of his days, even if he would no longer remember this life, no longer remember the fool at his side. His eyes closed as he whispered, a quiet voice, "I wish I could hate the dark." If he could, perhaps he would be able to feel just a tiny bit more mortal, like he had been before his eyes had been opened to a bloody reality. To hate the dark, to be mortal was as natural as breathing, but the Phoenix in its horrid suffering desired nothing but darkness, a darkness to swallow one whole to drown oneself in. Haru didn't elaborate on the words, for there was no need. After all, she would never understand him, and he would never understand her. He was only to be used as a tool for her survival, and he longed for death. That was the extent of their companionship, as it ever shall be. For the Phoenix willed it, and he would dance along to the pull of the beast's desire.

For a few long moments, there was only the silence of their campfire that would fill the air as Haru was all too content to allow himself to remain silent, to allow his mind to drift endlessly, flashes of six thousand years dancing before his eyes. Perhaps he would have been flinching, rocking himself back and forth, but the pain no longer caused him to react to it. He felt numb, a feeling that could only be achieved when his body got used to the phantom pain of biting and tearing. It felt normal, which shown how broken the man holding onto life had become. But in the midst of his drifting, his mind oddly settled upon a memory, a memory that certainly was foggy... however it left a warm feeling that settled deep into his chest, a temporary reprieve from the cold that sunk deep into his bones. Not caring if Mitsuko was listening to him, the man began to hum along the quiet lullaby, though he did it not for her comfort... or he would claim if she were to ask. Perhaps, it was for them both, a warm and gentle melody that brought Haru to days that he hadn't paid heed to for what seemed like an eternity.

He could almost feel the warm caress upon his head, the crackling of a pitiful fire as a boy was nestled closely to his side, his obnoxious snores ringing in his ears. There was a woman there, her face foggy and faded, no matter how he tried to focus upon it. And yet, the melody came from her lips, her soft voice a salve upon his wounded soul. Long lashes came down to conceal ruby eyes as his throat, although pained from use had hummed the soft notes, eventually fading away as exhaustion had caught up to the Seer, sitting rigidly next to Mitsuko as she had ordered for him to do so, falling into a gray and empty dream, taunted only occasionally by the faceless woman he could no longer remember.
...​
The following day, Haru had awoken quite early, mere hours before dawn as hunger gnawed at his stomach and pain agitated the fresh cuts upon his pale skin. Knowing full well he was incapable of hunting anything, the only thing he could do was attend to his hygiene, after all if he was to feel somewhat normal again, he needed to take care of himself. The man hesitated for a few seconds as he looked down where Mitsuko lay, his gaze shifting toward the dying embers of their campfire which the man heaved a quiet sigh as he struggled to stand upright, a lightheadedness swarming him as his weak limbs protested. He struggled to take in a breath, staggering as he limped forward through the dense forest, his chest heaving with effort as he instead of going to the raging river had found a quiet stream. It was then that the Seer had took to washing both the grime from his clothes, skin and hair.

Haru, as broken as he was, still held onto his habits of tending to himself, making sure that he'd not miss a single speck of dirt or injury that desperately needed to be clean. Of course, this effort of simply bathing himself was truly a herculean task indeed, for he'd not eaten now for eight days and the world certainly kept spinning ever so often, causing the man to feel nauseous as he would stop within the midst of his bathing to force himself to wait for the dizziness to pass. By the time he was finished, it was enough for his clothes to become somewhat dry once more as he struggled to pull the clothing over himself once more, joints aching and fresh wounds stinging. By the time he was done, the morning sun had already begun to creep over the horizon, bringing with it the warm rays that soaked into his skin, chasing away the chill. It was nigh past time where he should have already returned to the little campfire with Mitsuko.

So, with a grunt, the man had struggled to his feet, his body swaying from side to side as the pangs of hunger flared within his stomach, dizziness causing him to nearly stumble over his own feet a few times, eventually resulting in a few angry curses to leave his lips, eventually settling on the Seer picking up a sturdy stick so that he may lean upon it for support, his bad leg certainly not appreciating the sudden pressures of walking for so long through dense forest and uneven ground. Eventually, Haru would return and with his return, he would settle upon the grass, placing his newly acquired stick at his side as a heavy sigh left his lips, his head coming to rest within his hands as he was now thinking. Even if he'd claimed he would do everything in his power to help Mitsuko, just what could he possibly do? They didn't have any allies, they sure as hell had no weapons, no money, and he knew quite well that calling upon the Phoenix was... an unreliable option, for even though it certainly was powerful, he could barely control it himself. In fact, just the results from him summoning it for the first time, albeit an accident had nearly killed him. Easier said than done... huh.. typical.
 

805
Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme:
Mitsuko could hear him shuffling, felt his presence in the grazing of sleeves and a draft of wind as he closed in. Leaves dragging across the earthen floor and soil uprooting in feet that trailed after in grooves. It sounded heavy, as if he was on the cusp of unravelling in each heaving movement. Seams stretching in transparent threads through extensions and twisting in the bends until he finally stilled. Collapsed in a pile beside her of all bruised limbs and aching muscles that were, no doubt, just as weary as hers.

The fire crackled absently in the background, a comfortable fragmentation of the silence that lulled her shoulders into dropping. In the end, it was the little things- that of arms almost touching through the invisible barrier between them, the sound of his breaths admitting existence into space and his voice, setting them apart in light and dark, that took her away.

She dreamt of something between real and imagination, endless meadows tickling her feet in green straws in one second then refracting into that of a cold floor and familiar hallways in the next. They spread out desolate and dim before her, the prints upon the shoji doors telling her all she needed to know- she was home. Without having willed it, her legs started to move. Ambled her disembodied sight forward in a tour of beautiful gardens and empty rooms. Even without directions, she knew where she was going, past the kitchen and the staff quarters. Past the door leading into her mother's room, lit kiseru poisoning the air in tear streaks of grey upon the abandoned kyosoku, and past her own void chamber. Until finally, she stopped in front of the double doors that belonged to her father.

Mitsuko got on her knees and announced her presence. From the other side rumbled a monotonous answer, distorted and droning. Words indiscernible from an ear scratching noise as they resounded against the walls. Even so, it prompted her to move. As if she knew the meaning regardless in the way she confidently pushed the shoji doors aside and moved forward. Gaze never leaving the ground when she presented herself on her knees again before the faceless figure.


"D̴̢̛͉̥̹̺̙̮̭̹̝̉̄͋̂͑̂i̷̮̽̆͂̀̕ḓ̶̨̓̐͒ ̶̻̦̹̥̺̙̈̑͗̚͜y̷̡̍̃͋͑̂͌̈́̔o̷͍͗͑̾̔ȕ̸̧̘̤̟͍̜̬͊̒͌̌̿́ͅ ̸͉͑̈́͌̓͑̀͒̆̑͝ͅd̶̛̬̞̹͊̉̔̿ǫ̵̛̜͓̰̗̤͖̯̉̿̋̌̋̚̚ͅ ̸̨̨̰̳̣̬̘̑͊̊̅̀͝ă̶̭̫̰͚̼̯̬͕̥͛s̴̞̦͙̤͔̿̀̄̀̏͝ ̶̺͉͇͉̱̖̣̖̭̗͋̀̔̋̀i̸̹̓̽͗͂̀̍̿͠ ̵̠̦̖͇̠̮̰̲̍̅a̴̬̲̭̼͉̤̓s̷͈̲̘̰̥͎̖͚̈́̌̅̓̔̆k̷̡̅é̷͇̇͝d̷͖͚̈́̉̈́͒̾̀̍̚͠͝"


She nodded stiffly, not daring to crane her neck any further than to glimpse the front of his dark blue yukata falling in a fold under his knees and the overlapping hems of it that split over broad shoulders. Skin peaking through from beneath in collarbones and a sharp stubbly jawline.


"T̶̜̰̂̎̄́͆̒̌̀̇̍ͅh̴̢͓̤̪̰͕͎̿́͘ë̵͈̺͕̗̪͚̼̗͐́ͅn̸̨̳̩̗̤̅̏͐̒̒͘ ̶̱͔̪̤̹̺̦̾̏͋̕̚̕͝i̸̞̘͚̙̟͖̞͍̜͗ͅ ̸̼̩̼͚̱͌̽̍̽̊̋͘͝h̶̨̧͚̘̟̣̳̳̽͛̓̌̾̊̕̚a̶̢̛͙̭̳̺͈͈͐͊̒̆̚v̶̳͛̒̈̔̒̓̎̆ę̴͔̳̔͛̋̇͛͐̋͝ ̵̺̭͇͎͍̝̞̗̍̈̊̌̽͛ͅa̶̯̼̥̻̰͈͍͓̽̉ͅ ̴͓̮͓͒͆n̵̨͓̱͚̫͎̗̑̀̀͠ĕ̵̡̢̙̭̜͍͇̗͉̯̔̾́̀w̷̞̱͖͎͈̻̥͖͓͂̔̀̔͜ ̵̢͎̜̦̣̃͑̑̿̈́ṁ̵͙͕̗́̃̀͗͆̊͘͝i̸̢̗̙̯̖̤̠̽͗̏͋̽͗̌̽s̷̙͆̏̈́̿͠s̷̜͂͒͒̚i̵̳̣̞͛͐o̴̗̻̅̀̀̅͗̔͒̓̀ṉ̷̡̙̜͎̗̺͒̎͊͑̈̈́̽͊͝ͅ ̵̙͚̬̰͕̼̏͋̔͋͐͌f̸͚͙̖͇̓̀o̸͖̳̠͓̚͝r̷̭̯̿͋̔ ̴̨̪͋́̈́̇̑̈́͑͝y̴̝̦͑͊̐͆͒́̓̎̕o̴̩͚̝̤͈͓̺̥͐͘ư̵͍͈̭̪̤̼̣̜̤̋̅̌̋̋̾̅͘͝ "


A pause.


"K̷͉̔̿̇̅̑̇̇̎͂i̵̛̠͈̻͚̬̐̅ͅļ̴̤͔̗̉l̴͈̰̖̳̙̺̈́̓͂͗̂̑͆̕ ̴̛̻̌̓̌̏̓̓̕Ḧ̶̜͉͎̱̙͓̃̅â̶̛̖̰̦̒̅ͅy̵̡͎̭͉̦̏͑͌̓́̈̚͠ͅḁ̶̡̳̖̘̩̲̤̬̯̈́̈́͐̒̓̾̓̂̄̎ţ̸̢̡̨̖͔̘͈̘̇͂̆͑͌̀͘͝ē̵̛̛͖̻͍̩̤͙".


The hair on her neck stood at attention and her heart plummeted like a bird that had flown too close to the sun and gotten burnt. It was the kind of explosion where the fireworks went off first and the sound lagged after. The pang too loud to dismiss once it arrived in the aftermath of fizzled out sparks and behind the door sliding shut with a bang.

Slam.

The vibrations from the fading scenery carried over into her reclined self, arm launching forward and body following in a jerk that had her on her hands and knees. Strained gasps drawing breaths from trembling lips and limbs quivering uncontrollably at the notion that still stirred at the back of her mind.

Nails digging into the overlaps of earth and biting back battery acid in blinking eyes and clenched teeth she slowly stilled. Her thoughts instead drifting to the court, to the man that still remained inside those treacherous walls that had threatened to swallow her. Her glazed eyes flittered to the dagger, embedded into the ground beside the fireplace and her pulse quickened again. Hand shooting forward to tear it out and jab it into the tree that had constituted her bed the previous night. The act seemed to have racked something more out of its hiding place in its dizzying impact and she crumbled. Hanging limply from the handle as she croaked:

"Why? Why did you have to be the one?".

After a while, she regained her composure and pulled the dagger out again. Regarded it silently in her hand as the memories danced across the metal reflection. Slowly she let herself be swept away in them, mimicked them in feet sliding across the ground and blade weaving back and forth in her hand. A broken reinterpretation of moves she had etched into her body long ago and not at all as graceful in her one-winged fluttering.

She stopped as soon as her breath began to hitch and stared down at the dagger for a second time as she did. Fingers clenching around the handle in a chopped up process of each joint bending individually to fasten the grip.

"I should've tried harder to be there for you." Her words were but a powerless whisper in its company of tender eyes "-Sorry. I'm sorry."

Dawn had already crowned the treetops in its golden sunlight by the time she had woken up. The twittering of birdsong accompanying her now as she stomped out the embers of their fire and tied a bag of the scraps of the former white kimono, now shifting in beiges. In the bag, she stored the remains of the food she had brought back yesterday. That was before the event that had caused them to end up thrown on the ground in anger.

The ones that had yet to be ravaged by the wildlife and the ones that weren't wrought with rot put to roll around inside in apples and beets. Her slender fingers reached for the white flower pin next, still holding her cedar locks in place, and pulled it out.

Let the hair fall freely over slender shoulders and tattered fabric when the crunch of leaves being stepped on alerted her to a presence. Mitsuko turned around in her dishevelled appearance, stuffed the pin inside the white bag and exchanged it for something else as she stepped up to the Seer. "Here." Her voice held its usual velvety tones but fell flat in the delivery upon unmoving facial features when she tossed a smaller fabric bag the man's way. The bigger one being tied to the horse's saddle as she continued speaking "You're gonna need something that's easy to digest after so many days of not eating. That bag contains dried persimmons, eat up, you're gonna need the energy".

The brunette went back to the fireplace to distribute the ashes, cover them with soil and throw the stones back into the bushes. Hurried and matter of factly in her movements. "We're moving. If we have pursuers and if they have an inkling of what direction we took when we left the castle then we can't afford to stay too long," The answer to why they had stayed as long as they had despite this being already obvious in the eyes that shot him a glance "Isn't that great? You get to ride a horse again, you loved it so much the last time right?". Her lips pulled upward into the vaguest of grins in a shadow of her former boisterous self.

Her hand reached up to her hair with the dagger drawn from her waistband. Tried to wring the locks around it in the bun she had sported as the Empress but failed as they slipped through her fingers. Much to Mitsuko's agitated scoff and huff as she reassembled them again and blew individual strands out of her face. "You should also apply the salve inside the bag to your wounds before we go. It's nothing dangerous, some turmeric that's been ground down into a paste. It'll help with the pain and reduce inflammation," Her face screwed up into a frown in her concentration and faltered with a grunt as the hair fell again "If it makes it any better I've already been applying that same ointment to your wounds these past days".

She felt uncomfortable in her unmade self, neither hair nor makeup to hide her age behind anymore in round cheeks and bright eyes. Though perhaps it were for the better, seeing as they didn't exactly want to be recognised as the fugitives they were. In the end she gave up, shoved the dagger inside the waistband again and parted her hair in the middle instead.
 
倍音と干渉 - Katanagatari OST

The Seer, lost in the midst of his own fretting for the journey ahead had perked up at the sound of movement, accompanied by an object being tossed in his direction. This caused the man to finally look up from his scratched, wounded palms as his crimson eyes settled upon the fabric bag, the notion of eating had made his stomach growl loudly, as if to make his hunger audibly known - something would have embarrassed the Seer if he'd not already been exposed to the empress before him in such a pitiful, sorry state the previous day. However, his attention not only was drawn by the promise of food to ease the pain within his empty stomach, no, he instead was looking directly at Mitsuko and hearing the flatness of her delivery, the emptiness of her voice. Something had happened when he was away. It doesn't matter. A callous response that immediately echoed within his own mind, the man's eyes dropping to the fabric bag if only for a moment... but the wriggling of guilt soon had settled within his stomach, causing the man to lightly shake his head as if to physically shake off threads of a guilty conscious.

Picking up the fabric bag, the man had grasped a dried persimmon and pushed the fruit within his mouth, restraining himself from eating too quickly as the dried food sang upon his tongue, sending relief to an empty stomach that was without doubt, beginning to consume itself. As he swiftly had consumed the rather sparse meal, the man had paused as his crimson eyes followed Mitsuko, her words certainly making sense, causing the man to grunt as he grasped hold of the rather shabby stick he'd picked up, using the support of the stick so that his bad leg wouldn't give him too much pain. He'd had enough of crawling upon the floor like a wild animal. However, at the mention of having to ride a horse, an audible groan had left the Seer's lips, even if he knew it was a necessity, the honest reaction he'd given her, a spark of life returning to a previously empty countenance as the first complaint in eight days left past his lips, "I'd much rather take my chances walking, my leg has already been abused enough - tch!" A sharp inhale of breath escaped as he took a step, wincing at the agony of his weakened body, the bad leg trembling and protesting, yet the man forced himself to limp over toward the horse Mitsuko had stolen in their escape from the palace. Truly, the Seer's body wasn't in the best shape, but the man wouldn't complain further, especially when her words were logical. They had to move. It wasn't as if they had the luxury of lounging in the forest, for he knew they were being pursued.

The memories surrounding the people dressed in white from previous lives had made the man clutch at his stomach, as if he felt a dagger being thrust into the soft skin, his pale skin losing a bit of color as he almost felt sick. Stop thinking. Stop thinking. Deep breath. In... out... The mantra he ran through his mind had caused the man to settle into calm as his eyebrows furrowed, firmly setting his facial features into one of determination although he was pushing himself past all reasonable limits. The summoning of the Phoenix had left his spirit almost entirely drained, an essential part of every living creature to support life within the body, although Haru at this point of time was ignorant to how critical his health was. If he were to draw on the Phoenix again, to even ignite a single spark of flame, the man would die immediately. He was a nearly empty vessel with a single drop of life left in his weakened body, although he would recover with time... it certainly would be a painful recovery without necessary assistance.

As he neared the horse, he paused as he heard Mitsuko beginning to struggle with her hair, the man looking over a thin shoulder to look at her. Taking note that she'd given him a salve, he'd almost been about to stop to search through the bag she'd given him... but then her struggling and annoyed breaths had drawn his attention as she was trying in vain to tie up her hair, an ever familiar style that he only saw her in. Now that his mind wasn't entrenched with dark whispers and obnoxious visions of the past, he peered upon her youthful face with a frown crossing his own. Similar to Mai-Jing, there was a certain charm within the youthful roundness of her cheeks, the way her eyes no longer appeared to be disguised behind makeup. Bright eyes, sparkling with their own charm although not quite in the way that Mai-Jing's would have shone. In fact, her face devoid of make up appealed to the young man far more than when she'd been dressed to mimic a seductress. It was an honest appearance, innocent and pure and it would almost make the man's heart stir if the phantom of Mai-Jing didn't still pull at him. Yes, his departed beloved, a monster that sought his flesh, who would have lied to him was the only woman that could ever truly draw his eye. A sick, twisted adoration he held for her, one that Haru would allow to haunt him.

A huff of breath left the man's lips as he turned on his heel, his awkward shuffling echoing in the sounds of leaves beneath his feet as he approached Mitsuko, circling around her as he took the sleeve of his own clothing, tearing away at the fabric until a thin enough strip could be peeled away, and without much explanation to his actions the man's gentle touch could soon be felt upon her hair, thin fingers although still slightly cold, emitted a gentle warmth as he fumbled at first with long lost motions. Lost perhaps within memories of a younger age, eventually he settled upon tying Mitsuko's hair just above the nape of her neck, a low bun that would mimic the women of the lower classes - a commoner's hairstyle for women, neatly and efficiently done as if Haru had done so many, many times before. "There." He spoke the single word as soon as he was done, now limping past her, leaning heavily upon the stick as he gazed ahead at the horse, sharp exhales of breath leaving him as he spoke, "If we're to hurry as you say, we don't have time for you to be fumbling with your hair." A angry quip, familiar and biting as the Seer had approached the horse again, grumbling a few complaints under his breath as his old spirits were flaring to life. A grumpy old man within the body of a boy, an amusing sight to be seen for certain.

As he approached the horse however, the Seer's body suddenly lurched, collapsing on his knees, staring into nothingness as a vision had taken him, throwing him into a future that obscured his surroundings. He saw rolling, endless grasslands with little way for one to hide. Violent winds stirred the long grass, tearing pieces away from the rolling hills as the azure skies brought with it the roar of a primal beast. Brilliant light blinded him as the beast descended from the heavens, roaring with righteous fury, a tiger with fur as white as snow, interrupted by stripes as black as ink, eyes glowing as green as the fields it ran through. The beast sent fear into Haru's heart as it landed before him, the powerful muscles of the behemoth that blocked out the sun, coiling and rippling as it brought with it more violent winds that tore at his skin, bringing pain to him in the waking world. The tiger's maw opened as it released another roar, one that shook him to his core, teeth baring at him in furious rage... and then the vision ended, throwing the now sweating man back into reality.

He shakily took in a deep breath to calm himself down, the residual fear leaving his body as he shook his head rapidly, grasping hold of the stick he was still clinging tightly to and heaved himself back to his feet. Truly, the vision made him feel an enormous pressure settling down upon him, as if the massive predator was stalking him from the shadows. It made a chill go down his spine... but, Haru wasn't ignorant to what the beast was. Every man, woman and child knew the tales of the beasts in the Jade empire. Although the Jade empire in the southern reaches of the continent they lived upon worshipped the Phoenix, there was three other celestial beasts that the empire acknowledged. But unlike the Phoenix which received countless adoration, the three other beasts that ruled the land were ruthless and savage monsters, commanding fear and passing down divine judgement. Such beasts haven't been seen by mortal eyes however for nigh on six thousand years, the same amount of years that the Phoenix subjected itself to suffer within the mortal realm.

A bitter laugh left the Seer's lips as his thin shoulders shook, voice raised in frustration, "..Y-you've.. got to be kidding me... of all the- damn these accursed eyes!" Byakko, the tiger of the western winds, who ruled the western grasslands outside of the reach of the Jade empire, the fierce beast that slaughtered any mortal who crossed over into his territory. That Byakko he was destined to meet. If Haru hadn't already lost his mind, the Seer perhaps would have dug a hole then and there, cackling and raving at how unlucky he was. Sucking in a sharp breath, the Seer forced himself to straighten up, his expression grim as he looked to Mitsuko, "We need to go west." The words were so absurd to his own ears, but it was a destination at least. He never had visited the western grasslands as no one truly had been able to cross over into the territory due to how the violent winds there would "cut a man to pieces". It was a ridiculous direction to go in, but he knew at the very least traveling to go there would take at the most a few days to perhaps a week of travel - even more if they got into trouble along the way, and his mind was already going through what they would need in terms of money and food, and just how they would go about securing it. Besides, no pursuer would be brave enough to follow them into what they deemed as doomed, unreachable territory.

With these words being spoken with no explanation behind them, Haru had stubbornly marched over to the horse, allowing his borrow stick to fall to the ground. Eyeing the creature with apprehension in his eyes as he sighed, grumbling under his breath, "Here we go again..." The man then proceeded to struggle, his bad leg protesting at the further abuse he was subjecting it to, eventually resulting in the Seer finally managing to settle upon the saddle, although the man seemed very much uncomfortable at the horse's swaying movements underneath him, nails gripping onto the saddle, though making sure there was enough room for Mitsuko to settle in before him. After all, Haru did not like the current situation he was in, appearing almost like a disgruntled and frightened cat as he was trembling from head to toe. But, how could one blame him? The first time, he'd closed his eyes through the entire experience, the second he'd been strapped to the back of the creature and was choking on his own blood. Not very pleasant experiences at all.

The man's pale face now looked to Mitsuko, crimson eyes glaring at her as if silently giving her the message to 'hurry up', his hip giving him an angry flare of pain causing a sharp breath to exhale from his lips, but otherwise the man was willing enough to subject himself to a world of agony if it was the quickest option... even if he knew he was going to regret this later and even detested this option judging alone from the occasional foul curse that would leave his lips if the horse had so much as moved, rendering sharp pain to flare up his leg and settling into his hip.
 

805
Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: Whistling bird SBS Iljimae (2008) ost
It would be a lie to say that she knew where they were going even while being the one insisting on it. If their only concern had been to avoid any eventual pursuers from the court then the obvious choice would have been to cross the border. Any border really seeing as royal troops trampling into foreign land was a grave transgression and a potential instigator for conflict. Mitsuko felt a line appearing between her brows, throbbing regretfully over the claim she had made the night prior. Indeed, if all they had to do was survive then it would have been a simple task. The groan and scuffling from her company argued otherwise, however, spouting pointed words in quips reminiscent of their days back at court. It was a welcome reprieve of lightheartedness, one that she could not restrain herself from softening at.

A short-lived tenderness lit in the eyes and lips that pursed in a curl. The latter, quickly faltering at the man's sudden loss of composure in a pained hiss. Once again, she became a picture of thick contours- lining forehead and brows in a downwards frown that extended to the compression of her jaws. The pull even travelling as far as down to her fingers that twitched absently at the sight of his struggle. Nonetheless, Mitsuko never moved from her rooted spot as she turned her head forward and bridled any compassion in the ball of her fist.

A bit awkwardly so, as an imaginary tension seemed to take hold of the silence between them. The brunette unsure whether to wait for the man to mount first or simply go ahead herself first. In his current state, the limping looking worse than usual and his body clearly unused to movement after so many days of slumber, she would be pressed to assist him. Instead, she was a statue of stone- erected in guilt and shame and perhaps a bit of self-consciousness to the sounds of his dragging footsteps. Muscles only tensing in further anticipation as she thought his presence to be heading past her back when the rustle unexpectedly began to come closer and closer.

The leaves swivelled out of his path and fell in crunches under his foot, both ceasing as he suddenly came to loom before her. The silence settled in shivers of trepidation darting down her spine and Mitsuko drew a muted breath. Said breath hitching in her throat when his hands hovered over her face and past it to smooth her hair into his palms. It was a gentle touch, emitting the faintest warmth in lingering caresses. The warmth spreading down through the cedar locks to lay in a soft flush across her obscured cheeks and hanging head.

A million thoughts and simultaneously none flittered through her mind at light's speed during the seconds that felt like hours in front of the man. The only ones to truly sink in as he finished tying her hair up being: "He smells like jasmine" and then the eyebrow-raising "he has done this before". Although Mitsuko did not intend to, her eyes followed the Seer's back as he walked away and approached the horse. Held breath sifting through just barely parted lips in the hand that delicately fingered over the bun.

She didn't have time to ponder further though, as she was snapped out of her thoughts by the Seer's voice calling her to reality in a reprimand. Mitsuko cleared her throat and her expression immediately screwed up into a scowl in her defence. "I wasn't planning to-" She argued back, a defiant tone preluding it in a raised voice. You were the one to making it a big deal, the unsaid thought that crossed her mind afterwards in steps closing up behind him.

The Seer suddenly wobbled and her hand shot forward automatically as if to steady him. Only to catch herself in the act and stop it before she could penetrate the invisible barrier between them in a wide-eyed look and while clasping said hand against her chest. The man fell to his knees as a result of this and did not stir even as the seconds passed, quiet and agonizing for the one-man audience that was Mitsuko's growing frown. Again, she reached her fumbling hand forward as if to shake his shoulder when the crimson eyes unexpectedly spun around and forced the nonchalant act on once more on the brunette.

"We need to go west."

"What?" She baulked at his sudden declaration with a flinch. The lowered eyebrows looking more worrisome than upset now as she sidled up to the horse and observed the man mount it with much effort. "West?" Mitsuko repeated, searching knowingly for any sign of hesitation from his side as she displayed her own. Now she had said that the smart move would be to cross the border but into the western grasslands? Her lips twitched in their grim disposition. It was true that it was unlikely for the pursuers to follow them there but not because the terrain was difficult like in the north. Where the mountains posed a tricky path over the swerving countryside and the thick vegetation. No, it was the climate she was worried for. The weather, in fact, with its whipping wind storms.

The Seer seemed determined though on their direction of path in the glare that surely meant to intimidate her into agreeing. She nursed a sigh at the look and made a one-sided shrug. Giving in as she worked her foot into the stirrup and with a few anticipatory skips, pushed herself up into the saddle and settled in front of the man. "Alright then, just don't get pushed off by the wind once we get there." A final uncertain quip the ending credit to their conversation before she squeezed her thighs and prodded the horse forward.

They worked through the forest in a steady trot. The middle ground between the fastest way that was gallop and would probably earn her more of the Seer's unnecessary scorn and the footpace he was most used to but not efficient. Mitsuko rocked comfortably back and forth in the saddle, her thighs pressing her body down into the leather as to not bob up and down. For the most part, they rode in silence, only interrupted by a short break here and there to replenish their energy and to let the black stallion amble a bit. Though mostly it was for the Seer in his aching grimaces that she could 'feel' through his bated breaths and little gasps.

As the terrain opened up and the path widened, a fool sure way to tell there was a civilisation further ahead, Mitsuko decided to inquire about the hair. "How did you learn how to tie the hair up like that?" Her voice betrayed nothing but curiosity in the questioning but the added "If you don't want to tell me that's fine too," hinted at something more being present.

The sun had risen to its usual high point in the sky at this point. Hovered over them in the touch of hot skin and moisture evaporating in beads under clothes. In the distance emerged a smaller town, or perhaps a village was more appropriate, in the middle of cultivated fields. She was wary of the possibility of being identified but seeing its size, it was likely that the news had not reached this place yet. Mitsuko reached into the bag fastened to the saddle and pulled out a spare piece of fabric. "Take this and cover your hair," She held it over her shoulder for the Seer to grab it and snickered "-Just in case. I would say you look more conspicuous than me with that hair."
 
The Days when my Mother Was There - Persona 5 OST

Annoyed. That was the primary emotion that the Seer was feeling, although not due to any fault of Mitsuko at this moment in time, as he knew her reaction was a normal one to his sudden outburst of claiming they needed to go west of all places. Of course, being already led by the future he saw before him, he knew it was inevitability that he couldn't run from even if he wanted to. Cheating death of claiming Mitsuko was a fluke, an act of luck for his visions always were very much accurate; he knew with a chill down his spine that avoiding a celestial beast on the other hand... well, that would be an impossibility for certain. Better to confront the monster that bared its monstrous teeth at him, rather than cower away with no true direction and mindlessly wandering about from place to place. Of course, being focused on the destination, Haru failed to notice Mitsuko's hesitation regarding being in contact with him, not that he was offended either. The man was simply accompanying her as an unexpected companion, forced together through unfortunate circumstances.

He was content to allow his mind to drift, although interrupted by spikes of painful and quiet grunts that left him at the horse's movements, though he at the very least didn't seem to be grabbing onto Mitsuko at this moment in time, forcing himself to try to get used to balancing within the saddle. Though, he was grateful when they stopped to take breaks, as the saddle was proving to be quite uncomfortable for the man's leg, the injury consistently giving him a stab of irritating pain - he was growing a bit used to the agony, the pain being something that he shoved to the back of his mind despite his leg calling to him to give it much needed attention. I wish I would have been able to mend it properly.. A tinge of regret that he would feel, although circumstances in his past wouldn't have made such a thing easy. From that single thought, his mind would drift again as distant memories had flowed to the surface. A land filled with pain, of suffering, and yet... the tender emotions that rose up within him as blurry memories were slowly coming into focus-

Mitsuko's question had snapped him out of the long lost memories, the Seer blinking a few times in bewilderment at first as he focused upon her words. Ah. The Seer's gaze lowered, staring at her back as his mind drifted. "Well, it's not as if I was born in the Jade empire. Despite how I look, I wasn't born with a silver-spoon in my mouth, nor servants at my beck and call." His tone seemed amused, even if it was a sarcastic quip again, a sign that the Seer was slowly but surely falling into his usual habits of how he responded to her. "...Do you know of the Xing providence?" He started off with the question, allowing some silence to fall between them. The Xing providence, a thin strip of land between the Jade and Engan empires, located betwixt the two empires in contested territory which had since been taken over by Engan officials - for now that is. The land was filled with salt, an important commodity of trade between the empires for preservation of food stores, and the people who had lived there in neutrality between the two empires had fallen under an imperial yoke of slavery. It wasn't long until both empires began putting "undesirables" into the small Xing providence, whether it being dishonored ronin or people who used to live in monasteries that the small strip of land once had; it had turned into a living hell for the innocent people who now farmed salt and were treated no longer like people, but animals. It wouldn't be uncommon for men who were seen as genetically desirable to be stripped from their families and shipped off elsewhere to a dark corner of either Engan or the Jade empire to produce more children to be sent back to Xing to work, the same occurred for women still able to bare children.

These things Haru had seen, witnessed and suffered through all at such a very tender age. The flow of memories had caused the man to close his eyes, taking in a deep breath and exhaling, the memories so vivid he could almost smell the salt upon the breeze, the taste of it on his tongue. "I was born there." He spoke those words quietly, although there was no anger or perhaps hesitation in his tone as he admitted it. "My mother was taken from a monastery and forced into slavery when she was only a year younger than I. Her... hands were damaged from punishment by the time I was born, so she would always ask me to tie her hair for her, since she was unable to." The memories flowed far more vivid in his mind, the woman with shaky, twisted hands, broken and mended poorly from her showing defiance against an overseer who had tried to take her to his bed. Her dark eyes glowed with affection as she would ruffle his hair, although he knew she was in so much pain with every gentle touch. She was a lovely, patient and affectionate mother, always worried over her... spring blossom. The nickname that he remembered caused a familiar ache to settle within his chest, his lips turning down in a frown.

How could he forget his mother?

The more he thought of her, the more his heart ached with guilt. Was she still alive? Was his brother taking care of her in his place? "..Her name was Honomi." He mumbled those words, more memories beginning to slowly come into focus, causing the Seer's voice to once more become tender with warmth, "She always would scold me every time I'd so much as try to throw a rock at an overseer, or get into fights with my little brother... and she was so frantic when I got into fights with the other children, telling me that I shouldn't be allowing my anger to cloud my judgement. 'One of these days, you'll lose your head!'" He mimicked her worried tone, a familiar phrase he remembered her saying often. The Seer shook his head then, falling into silence as his mind drifted further into the past, content to allow silence to fall once more. Although the memories were becoming more clear, he didn't want to linger on them longer than he'd have to... as much as there were good memories, the bad memories would be all too quick to follow and were in plentiful supply, and he'd had enough of remembering terrible things for now.

By the time he'd fallen silent, the sight of a village before them could be seen and soon a spare piece of fabric had been handed to a bewildered Haru for a few moments, only for him to roll his eyes at Mitsuko in response, grasping the fabric as he said sarcastically back, "Yes, yes I know. 'Lettuce head' I believe?" He seemed to grumble the nickname she had given him, a bit annoyed at his unnatural hair color as he tied the fabric securely around the brilliant green of his hair, until not a single lock could be seen although he mumbled, a bit irritated, "I look foolish." A bit of vanity to leek out from him, but at the very least the Seer knew that this was a necessity to hide himself. Though he would perhaps tear some more of his clothing to make a veil for himself... that wouldn't be perhaps the smartest thing to do as he still needed to be able to see. Concealing his hair color would have to do for now... as much as he was grumbling about it.
 

805
Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: 영화 미인도 (2008) OST
The Seer spoke of a providence called Xing, one that she had only encountered on the yellowed maps in the library at home, and of humble beginnings. Of a life born out of the hardships of slavery, trouble around every corner in the misfortunes that befell them. His mother a subject to the cruel abuse of power and her injured hands being the reason he had learnt how to tie up her hair. The band of fabric that kept the bun intact suddenly felt so much more fragile and the bun itself, heavier than before where it sat upon her head. As if the strands of hair were going to unravel in a stream of brown velvet the moment she turned her head, Mitsuko froze in her position.

Instead found herself trying to dispel the bitter taste of curdled milk that regurgitated into the back of her mouth as she realised that her heart had soared with relief at some point under the explanation. The reins she had been clenching tightly, now loose in their grip and pressed lips relaxing into a faint smile. The inkling of a where and why gnawing at the back of her mind under nameless identity as she dared not put words to it. The brunette merely schooled her expression once more and squeezed her thighs to prod the horse along faster. Focusing on the dark silhouettes of a pair of bypassing birds dancing above them in the sky as the Seer continued.

He mentioned a brother and happier times fragmenting the harsh routines of everyday life. The syllables of his mother's name following in suit on her own lips as if bewitched to repeat it out loud after him. "Honomi..." She tasted the name on her tongue, warm and fuzzy "It's pretty. How would you spell it? With the kanji for 'sail' and 'reality'?". Their conversation was unusually candid for once, not wrought with the burdens of the past nor the future that weighed heavy in her limp arm and the gaze of his crimson eyes. Her voice reverberated in a chuckle as soft and murmurous as wings upon his reluctance to the kerchief idea. Having quite forgotten the nickname until he had mentioned it himself and decided to therefore play it up in a mischievous glance over her shoulder.

"I think you look perfectly cute, Lettuce head," That coy smile that was so native to her dangled at the ends of her lips. Widened into an ominous grin as she had another idea cross her mind in a tightening hold on the reins "Well then, I think it's time we go a bit faster". At once she smacked her lips and drove her heels into the side of the stallion, the latter lunging into a soft gallop upon the touch. The sudden change of pace and rhythm was sure to have thrown the Seer off and the brunette relished in the notion of him having to desperately hold on to her in his stubbornness. Perhaps a foolish move on her part in regards to his injury and their current non-feuding atmosphere but one that shook her earlier discomfort off by the time she slowed back to an amble on the very outskirts of the village.

In the gallops stead settled a weariness in her limbs, heat ghosting along her skin like a second layer of it. She grabbed the hem of her kimono in an attempt to air it out, flexing the collar as to reveal the sculpted bones beneath. In a way, they were quite similar to one another, both former prisoners to someone else's will. Both having exchanged it for another prison in the shape of expectations and duty. It struck her that his leg injury could be one such remnant of his former life and she gazed at the knee that laid flush around her own thigh. Could it be that it was so old that it could not be treated and that was why the physical examination at the palace had not helped? Her fingers twitched with an urge to examine it on her own but seeing as they were both in public and the Seer would probably reject any such notions- she refrained. Instead, cooed softly under huffing breaths "So, how did you like that?".
 
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Douse Konna no ga Suki desho - Katanagatari OST [specifically for the horse part]

A pleasant hum had left the Seer's lips, all too eager to speak more on the subject of his mother as he responded in kind to her question, "Close. The kanji for 'sail' and 'beauty' is how her name is spelled." A beauty his mother certainly was, and perhaps would have remained untouched by any man if she'd not been taken from the monastery dedicated to the sacred bird of fire; the selfsame beast that he had turned out to be. However, a question was quick to gnaw at the back of his mind, had his mother been horrified to know that her son was the very Phoenix she worshiped her whole life? Would she fear the person he was now as his foresight had grown far stronger? Would she have been disgusted with him, to know what he'd seen from his previous lives? Or would she feel guilt? He lowered his gaze, shaking his head. There was no need to think too much on questions that certainly had no answer. He doubted he would ever see his mother again, for the woman had sent him ahead in hopes of a better future, a better life. To think that I nearly had wasted her efforts earlier... I'm such a fool. The thought made the man feel intense disgust and self-loathing settle within his heart at himself. What an ungrateful son he'd turned out to be.

Her response had made the Seer jerk his head up, though the man scoffed, rolling his eyes at her words, "Flattery again will get you nowhere with... wait, wha-" Before he could finish his sentence, much less begin to process what she had said as well as the ominous grin she'd given him that caused chills to go down the man's spine. Then, much to his horror and agony the man felt himself jerk back in the saddle as the horse had been urged to a gallop, a startled sound akin to a squeal of surprise had left the man's horrified expression as the movement of the horse served only to cause intense pain to flare within his hip, the man nearly being ripped from his loose grip upon the saddle, scrambling quickly to grasp anything in front of him as his eyes squeezed shut in terror, hands immediately grabbing at the woman in front of him, arms locking into place, his breathing coming in panicked breaths against her back, as his cheek pressed tightly against her shoulder blades. Stabs of pain flared up and down his leg, settling into his hip, causing tears to spring to his eyes as the rough pace of the galloping horse beneath him.

Haru didn't know how long the horse had been urged into a gallop, however his trembling hands now covered in his sweat was clutching desperately at her, feeling as if he were to fall off at any moment. This devil! Villainess! Asshole! Venomous thoughts screamed in his head, unable to allow such foul words to slip past his firmly clamped lips, although he felt certainly like screaming as the village they were going through were passing by in a blur. It was only when they had finally slowed to a stop on the outskirts of the village did the trembling Seer had slowly opened his eyes, although the action itself took perhaps far longer than it would be as the man's pale and sweaty face looked wildly around them as he whispered, his voice seeming a bit traumatized, "..I'm... not dead?" The world was spinning around him, lightheaded in his terrified state as his body was trembling with both fear and pain, throat feeling dry as he slowly raised his head from being pressed so tightly against Mitsuko's back, only to realize his hands were resting on something suspiciously soft. Huh?

Of course, considering Mitsuko had practically made the poor Seer's soul leave his body, he didn't realize in his frantic scramble to latch onto the woman before him that he had unintentionally latched his hands upon the woman's breast and due to his terror had been applying pressure throughout the whole duration of the hellish ride. Once his mind had caught up to the rather uncomfortable situation, had the most peculiar sound left Haru's lips, the man's face igniting a brilliant scarlet as he was attempting to get words out, his emotions reaching a fever pitch of anger, and embarrassment... though it was mostly embarrassment at this point as he ripped his hands away, feeling as if he had certainly touched something unclean. After all, as a Seer, the man was practically a priest! The things of this world he shouldn't ever allow himself to indulge in, even if it was completely unintentional. For a few moments, the man seemed like he was having a mental breakdown, incomprehensible sounds leaving the man's lips in response to Mitsuko's question.

"I. Hate. You!" Finally the words slipped his mouth as he hissed, "What the hell is going through your stupid head! I know you were a fool but I didn't expect for you to be this foolish! Fucking lunatic! Absolutely asinine behavior! Think, damn you!" He took in a sharp inhale as he put his head in his hands, "...Ten years of my life has been ripped away... Someone please save me from this she-devil." Truly, Haru wasn't trying to utter an apology for him grabbing onto her, choosing to omit the detail as he didn't want to linger on it too long. He already felt so much fury that allowing his embarrassment to flare wasn't productive at this moment in time. The man of course would perhaps be determined to scrub his hands later, to perhaps forget the feeling altogether... even if it wasn't unpleasant. It was quite soft, and he could feel her warmth through the fabric of her clothes, feel her heartbeat-

Stop thinking! Stop thinking! Stop thinking! The man's frantic mind was shattered, and his brilliantly red face wasn't cooling anytime soon. It was a very innocent reaction from a man whose soul supposedly was six thousand years old, but Haru was still within his adolescent years. The man had separated himself from even acting on such impulses due to it being drilled in his head, and as such he was a chaste and pure individual... though with quite the foul tongue. It was certainly a new side to see to his usual composed or angry behavior, certainly quite cute indeed as the man desired nothing more than to jump from the horse and run as far away from Mitsuko as possible. And that was when his leg seemed to be an all too welcome distraction as it was brought to his attention; it was hurting like it hadn't hurt before. It felt as if knives were sinking into his leg, lancing deeply into his hip which caused the man to grit his teeth as he then, perhaps in anger and his own embarrassment had slipped from the horse's saddle, landing awkwardly on the dirt path, his hip making a distinct cracking sound in response which made the Seer's reddened face pale as his leg trembled, nearly giving way underneath the sudden weight.

He bit his tongue, tears springing to his eyes, holding back a slew of curses as he angrily shot daggers from his eyes at Mitsuko, hissing with rage, "Hate. You. So. Much." He spoke each word, repeating his hatred for her with unrestrained venom, turning his head as he pitifully began to limp away, obviously stubbornly set on not getting back on the horse that had taken him so much effort to scramble onto in the first place. Although he certainly wasn't as angry as the temple when she had claimed him to be one of his servants, but he almost seemed to be pushed to that point as the Seer was quite stubbornly set on limping down the dirt path, grumbling a slew of colorful curses at the empress behind him. It seemed as if the playful moment in an act of thoughtlessness had truly set Mitsuko in a negative light in Haru's eyes for the next few hours, if not more... though it entirely depended on whether the man could nurse a grudge for a prolonged period of time, which he certainly could.
 
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805
Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: Moonlight by Jiang Xiao-Qing
The pieces of her heart that had been struggling to fit into her silhouette smoothed into place with his wandering hands. As if the fingers that clamped into the soft flesh of her chest held glue in them and were bridging the gaps. Ghosting touches sealing her distress over with a tingling sensation that made her forget everything else but the undeniable reality of flesh against flesh. Filled the crevices of unsaid words and inarticulate feelings.

It was a familiar scenario for the brunette yet also a peculiar one in the gasps that breathed sparks in the embers of flushed cheeks. All of it eventually boiling down to the flare of raucous guffaws. Resounding orotund like a foghorn against his discordant insults and condemnations. The Seer, on the other hand, seemed to have reached his boiling point so to speak as his warmth suddenly slipped away from behind her. Instead chose to make the picture of a hunched limping figure on the road before her. The glare he gave her was more than telling of his pain, something like tears gathering at the crinkled ends of his eyes and Mitsuko stirred in her seat.

The consequences of her actions sinking in as the exposed enamel and glittering eyes of gloat were expelled in a sigh. Mitsuko nudged the horse into a trot and sidled up beside the Seer, head craning curiously to catch a glimpse of his face as she slowed to a walking pace. "Aw, come on now. It wasn't that horrible, was it?" The brunette seemed ignorant of any potential vows a priest might have made regarding the pleasures of the flesh. Or perhaps she just simply did not care as she pulled her face into a lopsided grin. "Not bad for a first time ay?" Her hand made a deliberate act of squeezing her breast much like the Seer had done earlier and she raised her chin in a self-pleased smirk "First-class if I may say so myself".

It had never made sense to Mitsuko why women were forced to act demure while men took every opportunity to brag about their 'assets'. Especially not when those same men desired such 'scandalous' behaviour of their woman behind closed doors. Too many times had she encountered it, a man that spoke of having a virtuous wife back at home while sharing the same sheets as her. Whether it was just a temporary distraction or the end means to a mission, dagger lying in wait under the futon to be embedded into his chest- they never cared to hear what she thought.

She straightened in the saddle, overcome by a sudden spell of nausea that made her head feel like it was spinning in circles. A strange moment of weakness that discouraged her from trying it again as she rocked back and forth on the horse. Mitsuko glanced at the leg that limped behind the Seer and grimaced, a sigh on her lips as she slid off the horse herself. Her feet connected with the ground in a shallow thud, the impact reverberating in another dizzying spell that prompted her hand to clutch onto the saddle still. "You're making me look bad, forcing you to walk when I'm riding," She bridled her curdling guts in a scoff, eyes nonetheless making a point of scanning the area for a place to rest at "Let's take a break over there while we're at it".

The brunette pointed at a small grove beside the road, already prepared with a campfire and benches to sit upon. Despite her earlier sentiment of wanting both sides to be heard, she trampled over regardless. A quite stiff show of hand gripping the bench in a prelude to her eventual collapse upon it. The horse she held still in her hand, reins moved over its head to allow it to graze while she breathed out. "Why is it anyway that you dislike touching me so much? Because you're technically a priest?" Mitsuko leaned her head back, a picture of all jutting cartilage and exposed hollows that spanned from neck to sharp jawline in pale shiny skin. She brought her tongue over the dry trembling lips that anticipated the next words in a jeering disposition "Or is it because you think I'm disgusting? Being so casual about it."
 
DUB TRIP - Katanagatari OST

"It was awful!" He snapped back at Mitsuko immediately with her first taunt, feeling his anger being to blaze further as he limped rather pathetically down the pathway before the horse, grimacing with every hurried limping step, although it seemed his embarrassment flared up further as Mitsuko had proceeded get within the sight of his peripherals, causing the man to whip his head to open his mouth to prepare another round of scathing, angry remarks... only for his face to blaze at her following taunts, crimson eyes immediately dropping to the squeezing motion as a most offended expression crossed the man's face, immediately limping as far away from her as possible as he released an angry sound, snapping in frustration, "Do you think that's funny?! Why am I even asking- of course you would, sow!" Ah, it seemed like her better nickname had been abandoned for his favorite one for her again. Haru felt only tinges of shame at himself, to even have a single second of enjoyment of touching her in such a way. Even if the action itself was forbidden (and by all means an accident) for typically one such as he, Haru gladly would had tossed all the rules away for the woman that claimed his heart long ago and only her. This shame was coiling with his embarrassment, along with pain as he struggled to keep going on the road ahead had only made his emotions more foul. To betray her memory... it was enough that he was assisting this woman that slew her to regain power, to prolong his life and deny his beloved in death, although he had reasoned in the back of his mind that he was only doing it for Mai-Jing's benefit, to save the empire she loved so dearly. Funny, how he always eventually resulted to finding excuses.

He heard a solid thud behind him, no doubt Mitsuko sliding from the saddle, causing the man to temporarily stop in his angry steps as he shot daggers at her again, crimson eyes narrowing if only for a second at her words, "As if I give a shit!" His response as foul-tongued as ever, though his eyebrows furrowed as he immediately could tell that there was something wrong. Perhaps it was in the way that she clutched the saddle, as if using it for support, or the faint sheen of sweat upon her skin. He bit back another insult he had been about to fling at her in response, his tense shoulders slumping as she had pointed to a nearby grove, the benches indeed appearing to be quite the reprieve than forcing himself to walk for who knew how many miles that his anger would've fueled him. A sharp exhale left his nose as he quite pointedly made an effort to drag his feet, although in part due to the pain of riding in the saddle, but also because he was still showing the clutch of anger that was sinking into his bones.

As Mitsuko had settled on one bench, Haru had settled on the other, making a point of sitting on the very edge as far away from her as possible, though his face was void of frowning, the look in his eyes still betrayed his anger as he glared angrily at her from where he sat. "Tch." His initial response to her questions made Haru look away from her, anger causing his hands to clench into fists. The rules meant truly nothing to him when it came to Mai-Jing, even if he knew that she only cared to sacrifice him, it didn't matter to him. Body, heart and soul he would willingly give to such a monster, and Mitsuko was certainly not her. "..You're not her." His voice was quiet as he stared in the opposite direction, though the pained expression on his face spoke enough, though it was slowly brewing with rage, "You're not Mai-Jing." She was not the woman he loved, that he insisted on loving so intensely after she died. In his eyes, no woman shone as brightly, no woman had he desired more than Mai-Jing. It was all her, his world revolved around the former empress, and his devotion to her did not end, not even when she was no longer in this world.

"Although I swore an oath, it matters not, only when concerning her. But you are not her." He stood from his spot on the bench, his crimson eyes now settled within a blank face, akin to the one he wore when he'd first awakened, haunted with memories beginning to once more scratch at his mind... what Mai-Jing would have done, the horrible things she would have done to him before throwing him into death, and he would have embraced it with nothing but love for the monster that desired his flesh. His jaw tightened, looking aside as he murmured, his voice somber, "I'll be back." With that, the Seer had limped away, the fires of his anger seeming to temporarily cool as he'd given her his answer. A man that was keeping himself for a dead woman, how much of a fool was he? But, his loyalty to her, even after her death was admirable, such intense love that consumed him, a devotion that was certainly quite rare to see. Although, it was perhaps the Phoenix's influence, Haru never would consider another woman other than Mai-Jing for as long as he lived. He'll never permit it, to allow his heart to beat for another if even for second. It would betray her, and he'd betrayed the monster enough already by helping the very same woman who slew her. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Mai-Jing. Forgive me. The silent apology rang in his mind, as it seemed he would continue to betray his beloved, by seeking to help the very same woman who had become an ally.
...​
"Oh what a charming young man you are!" Haru's face was wrapped within a pleasant smile at the blushing elderly woman and her rather subdued husband, having suspiciously sensed "demons" within their household, although it was a matter of making rather frightening sounds outside of their house, causing the thin walls to appear as if something was scratching its way among them and purposefully leaving large rends within the house's exterior. To perhaps win them over fully, he'd even foretold the future for the blushing woman before him, laying thick the charm upon her. It certainly seemed to work, much to his relief as the skies were slowly beginning to turn red with the setting sun, once again he'd taken an excruciatingly long amount of time. I need to get back to... ugh. Her. Even if he was nursing a grudge, he couldn't just leave Mitsuko on her own, especially since the sight of her had made the man suspect that she was pushing herself a bit too much.

"If you don't mind, would you allow myself and my..." He paused, bile beginning to rise within his throat, though forcing himself to swallow it back down as disgust coiled within him, "..Wife could stay here for a few days? We've lost our supplies on the road here, and she's fallen ill." Ugh, to even claim Mitsuko as his wife made the man sick. However, there was little explanation for why the two would be traveling together, it wasn't as if he could claim they were performers as they'd need more people, and saying the truth was certainly not an option. But, judging from the light within the woman's eyes, clearly he had struck a sympathetic cord making him grateful that the woman was so soft-hearted, "Oh my, you poor thing! Of course, of course!" The response nearly made Haru collapse on the spot, a mixture of relief and disgust coiling within him as he bowed his head to the two, his silver-tongue making the claim he'd come back quickly and with that, the Seer forced himself not to limp, although the pain coiling through his leg nearly made him want to cry. But, he would have to hide the injury as best as he could, a fault of him desiring not even those in public to know the extent of his wounded self... but he knew it would make things so much worse for him the next day. I'll need to earn some coin while we're here. Damn it, Mitsuko. He had no reason to curse the woman in his mind right now, as a flash of her current state flickered to life before his eyes, causing his steps to hurry.

He returned to the grove, approaching Mitsuko, his expression filled with distaste although he had now limped toward her, reaching out toward her to put his hand upon her forehead. She's burning. A frown crossed the man's face as he hung his head, "Of all the... you owe me so much for this." Without waiting for her input on the matter, the Seer had moved Mitsuko, drawing her upon his back eventually though a sharp exhale left his lips in response, her weight making his knees buckle although he tightened his looping arms around her ankles allowing her to grab onto his shoulders if she wanted. A piggy-back ride indeed, although Haru remembered doing so for his little brother when he was a child and in the worst of health - that was before his leg injury. A grunt of pain slipped past his lips as the Seer took painful steps forward, hissing between clenched teeth to her, "You're... heavy." He puffed as his injured leg cried out in pain, however the Seer stubbornly pushed his body forward, the only fuel being that the woman he'd sworn he would be whatever she needed him to be was in a horrid state. I can make it. I can do this.

Of course, the trip felt like it was taking an eternity, and by the time Haru had managed to return to the house which he'd charmed the people, the darkest of night had settled upon the red skies and from his pained smile, it didn't take long for him to be ushered into the house by the elderly woman and her husband, with a spare room that had once perhaps belonged to the old couple's children. A rather old futon had been lain out for the two, and Haru was all too happy to dump Mitsuko upon the futon as his leg had finally given way, the man's thin body collapsing on the wooden floorboards as his body ached. Everything hurts... ow... The complaint he stifled, his eyelids feeling heavy as he pushed himself up to sit, a grunt leaving past dried lips as he turned to look at Mitsuko, shooting daggers at her once again with his eyes as he leaned over to press his hand against her forehead again, grumbling, "A fever, fantastic." Now, he had to play nice with her... even if he certainly didn't want to. A swift kick he desired to give her if anything... yes, he was still angry about the horse. Certainly wouldn't forgive that anytime soon.
 

805
Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: Piece of work- Villain (first part of post until Mitsuko starts dreaming)
The day before- Nell (when Mitsuko starts dreaming and rest of post)
"..You're not her."

The dissembling of her facade was a soundless endeavour. A surprisingly easy process of unwinding bones and screwed up facial features in slow motion. One tremble and gulp at a time until all that remained was a pair of glazed eyes and one big inhale that racked through her chest in painful stabs.

"You're not Mai-Jing."

Mitsuko wanted to laugh but the sound would not come out, hitching in her throat at the name that she had tried to avoid all this time. Then there it was, thrown so blatantly at her face as a fact that she was already aware of. She was not 'Mai-Jing'. That much was obvious even to her. The brunette managed to emit a bitter chortle at the man's charades and rolled her face away from his view. Refused to allow him that pleasure after he had ruined the mood. Because ruined it he had, left her with a sour taste in her mouth as her quickly worsening state lulled her into lying down on the bench.

"I'll be back."

Her back did not stir at the announcement, instead remained passive in its stubborn rejection of whatever reality the Seer wanted to impose upon her. The urge to yell 'don't come back' gripped her listless limbs but ultimately transformed into a brittle whisper as it passed the chapped lips. "You're so dumb," Mitsuko curled up a little tighter at the insistent throbbing that began to plague her head "-Just be like those other idiots". A refreshing breeze bristled the hairs at the end of her neck and travelled in shivers down her spine. Her eyes burned with something different than battery acid now, that of fatigue trying to draw her lids shut. It seeped in between the seams of her quivering figure and strangled her breathing to a shallow prayer, smoothing over the cracks on her mouth. "Shit..." The wound on her back suddenly seared to life under the fabric "It's infected isn't it?".

It made sense, seeing how she had not been able to properly tend to the wound during this entire journey. Still, it did little to bridle the sharp punctures of the silence coming from her mouth in titters. Perhaps, it was because she was alone that she felt she could display such a bitter and foul side of herself. Perhaps, it was because she was alone she dared admit it:

"I don't understand you at all."

-

Her consciousness flittered in and out in fluttering eyelashes and the sensation of a cool hand pressing against her forehead. The latter causing her to squirm uncomfortably in response and grunt as if she had just been burnt. In reality, she was the one burning up, limbs crumbling under the flames in a limp body that merely let itself be jostled around as the man hoisted her up on his back. Her hand settling around his neck in a powerless protesting groan and bobbing head.

"You're... heavy."

The few words Mitsuko had snapped up in the tumult drew a displeased snort from the brunette. "That's not...something...to say to a lady..." And she bonked her clenched fist weakly against his shoulder. Unable to muster up much else than that, she stayed quiet for the more part of the journey. Her presence only felt in the weight leveraged between arms and back and the gasps that scalded his neck in ghosting caresses.

In the dark of closed lids and between the brief touches of skin against skin, Mitsuko tried to remember the last time she had been sick. The thought mulled fruitlessly through the dark until it finally hooked something and began to unravel it. Something like sunlight and the chorus of cicadas drifting into existence before her eyes and feet digging into the overlaps of sheet and futon being felt upon her skin. Just like now, it had been summer back then. The only reprieve from the warmth coming from the wet towel on her forehead and the drenched cloth that was wiping down her arms. Wait? Someone was taking care of her? Mitsuko focused her gaze through the blur of quivering eyelashes and found a woman seated by her side. Her expression so gentle and tender that Mitsuko could only recall one other occasion that could prompt such a look to appear on her face.

Mother?

Her lips moved but no sound was emitted. The woman seemed to have taken notice of her sudden spark of life regardless and merely smiled in turn. Her cold hand settling in a protective dome over Mitsuko's eyes as she did. "Shh...." She hushed and pressed her palm as if to close her eyes for her "You must be strong Mitsuko. So forget this and go back to sleep".

-And forgotten it she had, until now that was when she found herself in between the laps of a futon's comfort and the softness of Haru's hand upon her forehead again. In a speed that was unprecedented of her in this state, her hand had shot out to grab his wrist. Wheezing weakly under half-lidded eyes that he needed to "Undress...wound...back...infected". Her grip loosened in a trembling fit and she tugged at the collar of the kimono as she attempted to roll around onto her stomach.

Her shoulder protested in an aching stab that spread to her limp arm but she clenched her jaws through the motion and laid flat in a thud. In the dim light of the room and the howling wind outside that had been picking up in strength, she looked as fragile and brittle as she felt. An almost suggestive sheen upon the skin that shrugged out of the confines of the clothes and revealed a glaring hole upon her back- pulsing in a mixture of red and yellow. Mitsuko rested her flushed cheek against the sheets and gazed drowsily up at the Seer's face. "Must...clean...push...it out..." Her words could have perhaps been chosen with more care, seeing as she had already bared her upper body for the man, but the little ghost of a smirk on her face argued otherwise.

The cinereous eyes let the gaze drift to scan the room, "You've found shelter...good". It would no doubt be a day or two before she had recovered enough to resume their travels. Her hand lifted to fumble over the vision of the face that was further away than expected. Went through the motions of patting his head in the air and chuckled "Good boy...". At this point she was clearly delirious, making no effort to hide it either in the innocent smile that graced her rosy features "You did good, Haru".
 
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Jadestone Village - Blade&Soul OST

Haru nearly jumped out of his skin, a soft gasp leaving his lips in startled surprise as Mitsuko had suddenly grabbed hold of his wrist, nearly causing the Seer to rip his hand away as if she'd stung him. However, before he could complete the motion, his gaze had met her own, half-lidded no doubt with pain or discomfort and that alone reminded him that the woman wasn't perhaps in her right mind. Patience, Haru. Patience. He unclenched his fist that had certainly been prepared to strike, unknowingly to his own mind as her weak words left her lips. Ah. His mind recalled she'd been shot, although the memory was extremely vague as it had been tainted by his limited control over his own body when the Phoenix had taken over him. His eyes narrowed, expression growing tense. Why didn't you take care of yourself then? Idiot. After all, Haru had been unconscious for seven days, and if he had been conscious, he would have been badgering her to take proper care of herself - but then again, perhaps not. When he'd awoken, his mind had been shattered, broken beyond repair and he even now was barely holding himself together, all for the sake of the fool before him.

But, as his thoughts were currently flowing calmly, it was interrupted as Mitsuko had begun to tug at her kimono, rolling over upon her stomach as soon his mind was beginning to catch up to the situation, resulting in a flood of heat to flare within Haru's cheeks as he stared dumbfounded at her. She... she can't be serious. No. No. Nope. No! Absolutely not! The denial that flooded through him had nearly made the man scoot as far away from her as possible, to dare touch her bare skin... was she insane! Even if Haru had taken a vow of celibacy as Seer, he was still a man. Did she not have any shame? Any caution? He wished he could yell at her in this moment in time, feeling the angry flow of words beginning to rise in his chest as his crimson eyes stared at the soft skin of her back, the thin sheen of sweat making her skin gleam appealingly within the dim light of the room they were in, though perhaps the show of skin was even more so dangerous for the young man considering she was still fully clothed, the rest of her body remaining a mystery for his eyes... wait, what was he thinking?!

The man sucked in a sharp breath as he closed his eyes, focusing instead on reciting the first forty rites of prayer to the Phoenix, something that he'd suffer to learn within his first few months of becoming a Seer. It... did little to help, but at the very least the man's face had cooled as he opened his eyes again, refocusing his attention not on the exposed flesh, but instead on her injury which was what he was supposed to be focused on. "..You'll be the death of me, I swear." He grumbled those words as he shifted on bruised hands and knees to draw closer to the infected wound, his lips pursing at the pus that was trapped within her heated skin. A gentle hand had reached out, though before he could have contact with her skin, Mitsuko had surprised him yet again by reaching out to lightly pat his head, causing the Seer's body to stiffen up at the gentle touch, eyes widening in his shock at her gentle words. ..Don't.. do that. Please...

"..Don't." The word left his lips, pained almost as he grabbed her hand and pushed it away from him to rest at her side, his features tense as he glared at her. "Just lay there and don't give me problems. Don't touch me." He released her hand from his grip, standing up as a painful breath escaped his lips, his legs protesting as he limped outside of the room, closing the shoji behind him as he did so to pester the elderly couple for any water or a cloth they could spare. It wasn't long until the Seer's lopsided steps could be heard as he returned to the room, closing the shoji securely behind him as he settled at her side, his expression masked in one of neutrality as he beheld her bare back, running the cloth through the water he had been provided and first wiping the sweat from her skin around the injury, his touch being firm, yet gentle as he said quietly, "This'll hurt." He allowed her to brace herself before he begun to squeeze the skin, extracting the pus from the wound, his expression not showing disgust or discomfort. After all, he'd been born into slavery, such sights did little to make the man queasy, no instead he was struggling to ignore the appeal of her bare skin, continuing to recite old rites within his mind during the process and reminding himself: this woman was not Mai-Jing, never would she be.

Once he had removed the pus of the infected injury, the man had secured the fabric bag Mitsuko had given him earlier, extracting the fabric bag and only once he dedicatedly cleaned the injury with a fresher cloth had he begun to apply the salve meant for himself to her wound. His gentleness never faded as the man tended to her, hands soft and warm as he had finished, a grimace crossing his face as he forced himself to his feet once more, gathering the supplies he'd been given and exited the room to return with bandages this time, mumbling under his breath something along the lines of how much she was a pain in his ass as he rolled her over, forcing his eyes to remain locked upon her face as he gently moved her arm so that he could begin to wrap the wound carefully enough to not cause her any discomfort... though he certainly was getting an eyeful that he didn't want. Hurry! The panicked thought settled within his mind as he finally resulted on closing his eyes so that he wouldn't look at her in such an exposed state, eventually finishing and pulling the kimono back up around her so that he'd no longer need to look at her, relief flooding him from head to toe once she was covered.

The man then stood and put as much distance between himself and her, allowing her to take the futon as he settled upon the other side of the room, a heaving breath leaving him as he allowed his legs to finally rest for the day. Shakily, his hand had moved to roll up his hakama's pant leg to peer at his old injury, in which the ugly old scar remained, reddened an angry shade of crimson, his leg bent ever so slightly out of a normal setting which made the man's lips purse in irritation. Damn it. There was little he could do about it, for the injury was past being healable to its former state before he'd gotten it, which resulted in the Seer, defeated, covering up the injury as his head rested against the wall behind him, crimson eyes closing as his body relaxed. For now, he could rest, for now he would be able to sleep. Then tomorrow, he would need to push himself for Mitsuko's state. She really is a pain in the ass. That annoyed thought settled within his mind moments before he allowed himself to fall asleep once more, his sleep undisturbed and empty for his exhaustion once more overwhelmed any possibility of haunting memories to overtake him.
...​
The following morning, Haru's stomach was twisting with hunger as he could smell food wafting within the confines of the room. Immediately, the Seer forced himself awake, his eyes feeling heavy as a groan of pain left his lips. His legs were aching, arms feeling like lead, and his feet... oh dear god, his feet felt like they've been flayed. Gritting his teeth, the man had crawled over to Mitsuko's side, ignoring the stings of his cut hands and knees as his priority was her first, to check if she was still breathing. He knew well enough she needed to eat, and he would tend to her first before he tended to himself. Much to his relief, and perhaps annoyance as well, she was indeed still breathing which made the Seer reach over to rest his hand on her head to check her temperature. A frown crossed his face as he shook his head, grunting as the man stood to his feet, staggering at the agony and promptly left the room. Their gracious hosts seemed to have made rice porridge, due to Haru mentioning during the night that Mitsuko was injured which would perhaps be quite easy on her stomach to digest.

It wasn't long until Haru came back with a bowl, his crimson eyes reflecting only his exhaustion and pain, but nonetheless he didn't complain as he sat near Mitsuko's side, shaking her awake gently as he grumbled, "Wake up, you need to eat." The Seer's expression was void of any anger for now as he stared blankly down at her, knowing full well he'd probably have to leave her side a few times to work on getting them money for the journey. Even if his body was protesting, breaking down and weakening, there was little he could do about that. If they were to remain in this spot for an extended period of time, he was determined to push himself for her sake, to be her hands and feet when she couldn't move. It was his purpose right now, his duty to her. Of course, he'd chosen to ignore and erase the memory of her bare skin from his mind and the appeal, now locking down on his unruly impulses that he didn't want to lose control over. That would be a nightmare that he didn't want to experience.
 

805
Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: KBS2 구르미 그린 달빛 (2016) OST
"..Don't."

Once again, he confounded her, once again, she was rejected. The only difference being that fear did not have time to wring itself into her heart nor the pain in hesitating limbs. A complacent veil over the eyes that blinked owlishly in return and nailed the curl to her lips in a forced lacklustre smile. "Okay," She cooed, hand unmoving under the fingers that clamped stiffly into her skin "-I'll be a good girl". Mitsuko stilled on the sheets, the only sign of life still remaining in her drained form, being the laboured heaving of her chest. Expanding in parted lips, sucking the air in wheezing, and deflating in sighs masked as exhales.

The floor creaked under Haru's weight and Mitsuko found herself studying the grooves in it. The little discolourations running in splinters embedded within it. How it swirled and arched under invisible pressure in various patterns, much like the dents upon her own fingertips, and how his shadow was cast upon it. Outlines backlit by the light from the hallway during the few seconds the shoji doors were wide open upon his return before they drew shut with a gentle knock. Her muscles did not have the energy in them to tense in anticipation of his touch but they did convulse in an involuntary shudder to the wet rag. The coolness of it bordering soothing and agonizing as she wrung the sheets between the fingers of her working hand.

Just like she had not allowed him the pleasure of her disgruntled face, she did not allow herself the comfort of screaming. Any sounds lost to the clenched jaws that grit teeth into cavities and the harsh surges of air blowing through the nose. Another remnant that had been engraved into her being along with the irises blooming across her skin. Do not cry. Do not scream. Do not show weakness. The gentleness of his touch sure did its best to lure it out of her, though, the brunette collapsing into the grip of exhaustions waxy embrace once the tension ceased. A displeased hum there to replace any lingering urges instead, as her efforts went unnoticed and unremarked on.

How could he know? That the barely stirring, barely shallowly breathing body longed for something else than the man's awkward handling of her. Fingers scarcely dawdling long enough for its purpose of applying salve and nothing else. Impossible to misinterpret, really, in his methodical approach. Mitsuko somehow succeeded in doing so despite this as he turned her over, heavy limbs putty in the smooth palms of his hands. Their eyes met and her glazed gaze flickered imperceptibly under the surveillance. Unwilling to close until the very last second as sleep wrapped her up. Loose ends and all.
-

This time she found herself back at the castle, seated in the usual drawing-room upon her zabuton and reclined against the kyosoku. In one hand and between gracefully curled fingers, she held the lit kiseru, and in the other was a piece of parchment. Black ink converging in lines upon it to form the picture of a phoenix. In the background droned grasshoppers, occasionally interrupted by the knock of the Shishi-odoshi filling up with water and hitting the rock below with its tipped bamboo arm.

She drew one long draft from the kiseru and exhaled in a grey veil upon the drawing. "The phoenix. A divine creature that rises out of the ashes..." At the time, it had been such an absurd notion that she had smiled at it. Arched a sly brow while occupied in her own musings of what such a creature could look like but perhaps more so "I wonder what a phoenix could desire from me".

-

The dream faded out just as intangible as it had arrived, the twittering of birds resounding from her right and a gentle shake making cold floor refract into that of sheets. Tangled under her arms and toes that had kicked them off in a spell of sudden overheating. She blinked, once and then twice. A pair of familiar crimson eyes soon blurring into focus as well as a nose, lips, jawline and collarbones flittering by under her gaze. The realisation hit her in a grunt and she rolled away. Left the man staring at her wrinkly back as she huffed "-Just...put it there".

A part of her wished she had been delirious enough to have forgotten the events that had transpired yesterday. Unfortunately, she had not been. The images now coming back to haunt her in the Seer's look that reflected her weariness. Her otherwise limp arm ached under the weight and she found herself gripping the sheets tightly under the silence. "H-How's your leg?" A stuttering attempt at diverting it as she swallowed back the dryness of her throat. She could really use some water. And food for that sake, as her stomach grumbled loud enough to be heard by both of them. The smell of the rice porridge wafted tantalisingly in the air but Mitsuko could not shake the picture of his leg.

She had glimpsed it yesterday, in the cover of darkness and under the pretence of having drifted off for good. The red line that stood out like the painted lips on a geisha's pure white visage. A lump formed at the back of her throat as she envisioned it. This perhaps being the first time she had addressed his injury directly and with such straightforward care. Her thoughts made way to the white hairpin safely stored away in the bag. "You should rest for today and sell the hairpin later for some money," She had planned to do this from the start, she reasoned in the absence of her wavering voice "-Sorry".

Such simple words but that seemed to require such effort for the Empress to articulate. Something she normally did not do and perhaps would not have if she had not seen the depressions under the man's eyes.
 
Kagome And InuYasha II - InuYasha OST

At Mitsuko's words, Haru let out a sharp exhale through his nose, a tinge of irritation that he was allowing to show. He'd needed to give her water, her voice alone told him that much. However, like she'd requested him to do, he would put the bowl of rice porridge aside, not too close to her though as he wouldn't want her to risk knocking it over when she would eventually sit up to eat. This left a bit of silence to fall between the two, with the Seer's gaze settled upon her back as she seemed content to not look at him for now. A sentiment that he would appreciate, as the lingering memories of the night before certainly had been an exercise of the man's patience and self-control. The man now sat crossed-legged, his crimson eyes settling on the injury he had tended to the night before, a frown crossing his face. He wanted to look at the injury, to clean it again to prevent infection - certainly only for that purpose alone! After all, he wasn't someone that caved too easily to impulses and desires, having suppressed such impulses for the three year duration for his beloved Mai-Jing. This was certainly nothing, especially since he felt no emotional attachment to the woman before him, as she'd only sparked anger or annoyance within the Seer's soul.

Then her question came, causing the man to raise an eyebrow at it. Did she...? Ah, she probably had seen it. A bitter taste soon swelled upon his tongue as he closed his eyes, a familiar throb of pain lancing up the shaking leg. "I can walk on it. You don't need to concern yourself. It's not as if it's broken." A dry and curt response to her words, but merely claiming he could walk on it wasn't reassuring at all. He knew it would do little steer concern away from himself, but he would not elaborate further on an injury that didn't need to be focused on. Right now, Mitsuko's infected injury should take priority more than his old wound. "Focus on yourself, don't spare any attention on me." A simple and selfless request, a bit baffling considering how angry he'd been with her the day before, and now the Seer was the very essence of calm and rational, prioritizing her health as his hands clasped together in front of himself, thin fingers twisting almost anxiously as his crimson gaze remained settled upon the shoulder injury, wondering potentially if it had worsened during the night. If it had, would he need to go off to find medicine? She did have a fever during the night after all, perhaps he should search the village for-

He perked up at her next words, the stream of concerned thoughts had faltered as she claimed he should rest today. As appealing as that would be, and as much as his body yearned for rest, he could not give himself the rest he desperately yearned for. As she said to sell off the hairpin, he almost hesitated though had nodded his head in response. Haru supposed that would be a logical response indeed to their lack of funds, and he was quite confident that the hairpin would be able to fetch quite the high price. Though, perhaps he would have to find a willing enough buyer for the hairpin itself, perhaps calculating that the quality would be at least to cover expenses for a few days to a week if he could convince and perhaps drive the price up further, something that he was almost confident he could do... and then came the apology.

"What?" He echoed in a tinge of disbelief. He supposed she was apologizing only for what she'd put him through during the night, which caused Haru to laugh. A bitter laugh though, heavy with exhaustion and almost annoyance, "I'd never thought I'd hear an apology come from you. I fear hell has frozen over!" His eyes closed as he shrugged his shoulders, "Uncomfortable advances aside, you're already forgiven. I expect nothing else from you by now, little sun." His tone was calm, lacking any true bite as he was too exhausted to muster much anger against her, pitying her current state as she was indeed ill. The man's position shifted as he drew closer to her side, "Now, enough of this. Sit up and eat. I need to check your shoulder too, considering how bad you let it get I'm surprised you hadn't succumbed to it sooner." His hands remained as gentle as the night before, taking care not to accidentally touch her inappropriately like he had done on accident during the horse incident, although they were gentle, they still held a firm grip.

Haru had shifted then to grasp the bowl for her, nudging it closer to her to make a point that he expected her to eat - certainly not taking 'no' for an answer. Perhaps it was an old habit flaring to life from the days when he'd tended to his family members in days long gone, but the man was more so focused on her and her own comfort and health more so than himself. Allowing silence to pass between them again, he murmured a quiet apology of his own as he slid down the collar of her kimono, obviously not being comfortable with allowing himself to do such a thing. But if he didn't, she would without a doubt get probably worse, so he soldiered through, controlling his facial features as he had carefully slipped the bandages away to reveal the injury, crimson eyes narrowing as he grumbled, "..Seriously..." He raised a hand to gently touch the wound, although it certainly would need to be cleaned again, a tinge of old rage flared up in his stomach as he could recall the archer that had shot her. I'll kill him. The vicious thought ripped through Haru's mind before he could process it, making the Seer's muscles coil and tense in surprise. Although, he would have blamed the Phoenix's control... he didn't feel truly as if the beast was overriding his control. In fact, it seemed weaker at this moment in time than anything else. There's no use thinking about it. A sigh left the man's lips as he got to his feet, limping heavily toward the closed shoji and exiting to once again request new water and a rag, more fresh bandages, and some water that Mitsuko could drink. It wasn't long until the Seer came back with his arms full of the items, closing the shoji behind him with a some effort as he settled behind Mitsuko again.

Repeating his process during the night, and taking care to minimize contact with her skin, the Seer had repeated his careful treatment of her wounds, cleaning them with water as necessary and making sure the injury remained clean, applying more of the salve that was supposed to be his to her wound and once again rewrapping it securely with bandages, repeating the rites over and over within the depths of his mind as he then slid the kimono back up to make sure she was securely covered and decent before his eyes. Once done, his hands then moved once more to her hair, his gentle touches redoing her bun to make her truly presentable, an old habit that was swiftly guiding his fingers and once he had stopped his hovering for now, Haru had slipped from her side, pushing the water that was meant for her consumption in front of her as well.

"As much as I would like to rest today, there's a few things that I'd want to do first." He spoke those words after a few moments of silence, his attention no longer on Mitsuko, eyebrows furrowing as he grumbled, "...Granted, I really don't think all the preparation in the world would... never mind." The trailing off sentence was a curious one, but Haru not only was worrying about Mitsuko's health, he was also concerned about the massive tiger that lay at the end of their current step of the journey. The chills that flowed over his skin was the only tinge of fear that would visibly show upon the Seer as he sat, grim-faced and silent, staring at the opposing wall with his arms crossed over his chest. All he knew were folk lore of the great celestial beasts, but it was unreliable at best and probably greatly exaggerated. Giving up, Haru eventually resorted to settling on his back, staring up listlessly at the roof above their heads, crimson eyes darkening in signs of stress, causing the man's youthful face for only a second to leak a bit of the heaviness he was carrying around with him. He almost certainly looked older, from the grim set of his jaw and crimson eyes dimming as if the brightness of determination that had been there faded.
 

805
Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme:
His disbelief cut sharply into her, like the whistling tones of a teakettle boiling over. And like a teakettle, Mitsuko felt her pulse quicken and flare up with renewed energy. "Yeah yeah, because 'it's strange coming from someone like me' is that it?" The steam that would have assembled on the insides of the heated metal were expelled in a loud scoff. This man thought of her as some immobile stone bumbling, unable to reflect on her actions and unable to formulate any kind of sentient thought. Truly, she did not understand why she had let herself get so flustered the night before. Then, there it was again. A creeping anxiety that peaked in the twists of her guts and a tremble to her breath as he announced that he would have to check her shoulder.

"You know what- I think I'm fine-" For but a brief second Mitsuko had attempted to turn around when his hand came descending from above, holding her still in a little yelp that escaped between parted lips. At once she stilled, muscles frozen in place to the sensation of the collar unravelling over her shoulder. A breeze and accidental graze of his finger half, enough to elicit bumps to dart up the nape of her neck. Any other weird noises and reactions were bridled in clenched jaws and the hand, wrenching fabric into waterfalls between her fingers.

His touch was cool, her skin was hot. The silence was blue, in bated breath, and her eyes shifted in nystagmic brown. This man was not cute at all, she told herself repeatedly during the soft caress that seemed to have no other purpose than to rile her up. Yes, surely this unnecessary touch was only meant to mock her Mitsuko decided in lidded eyes. Wrinkles flinching into existence in crow's feet as the hand was replaced by a glaze of water and finally salve. The brunette letting out all the suspended air from her lungs in one heavy sigh as his hands retreated for good. Or so she thought because the second after, they were there again. Meddling in the strands of her cedar hair, much to the shivers spun into motion over her scalp.

Any desires she might have had the night before seemed forgotten in the afterglow of a light flush across the kettle's cheeks. The liquid within evaporating from her pulsing veins in a slowly declining heartbeat. Instead, she perked up at something else, the change of subject and sudden mention of 'preparations'. Her gaze trailed askance in its pondering, an invisible line drawn between the word and their eventual destination in her head. Mitsuko hesitated, then spoke. Voice coming out two pitches higher than intended in its query. "Does these preparations have to do with why we're heading west?" She wet her chapped lips and rocked onto her back on the futon to share the man's activity of staring holes in the ceiling.

Her second bristled sentence came out more like an accusation than anything else. "You saw something, didn't you? That told you that we had to go west." And you don't want to tell me what- the unsaid words that lingered in the frown forming between knitted brows on her face. It made perfect sense, after all, that the only reason had not been to shake off their pursuers. They could have accomplished that in a number of other ways yet, the man had unshakably decided that they had to go west for that reason. She glanced over at her unwinded companion, a veil of age and wisdom beyond his years in the grim expression upon his face.

The sight agitated the sombre smouldering fire in the brunette, made her clench her fist in its obscured position below her ribs. "Don't you think I deserve to know what I'm getting into?" Her gaze drifted back to the furrows in the ceiling, mirroring the ones displayed on her visage "-At least as the Empress if nothing else". A weak grasp at power and one that was not earnest at all in the pronounced sigh following it up. Maybe he saw her as weak, too weak to share any responsibility with. Or perhaps unworthy of it, truly, the thought that tangled her heartstrings the most was the notion that he did not trust her.

In the silence, she saw her mother's face behind closed eyes. So gentle while telling her to forget that she had ever been shown such affection. Because it was reserved for her father? The picture reformed into that of a stubbly jawline and hollowing neck in its blurry paint strokes. Then she scattered that image as well and returned to the castle. The dim hallways and the bonfire that had threatened to burn it all down in his blazing rage. Returned to the man that had come to fetch her in the hour of death. Had he foreseen that too? The inkling in the form of the lump in her throat told her otherwise. Because would he not have told her then of the impending danger? In words other than 'be careful'. Be careful could apply to anything, anywhere.

She wanted to ask, wanted to know what had happened that night. The pearl bracelet that glimpsed under his sleeve caught her attention and she suddenly felt sick again. Nausea hitting her in the body that willed itself to inch closer to the bowl of rice porridge and shovel a spoonful hurriedly into her mouth. Clumsily and void of grace in how she balanced on her elbow and simultaneously dug into the soft surface. Brought the trembling spoon in between her jaws and chewed aggressively. Pronounced movements to the rhythm of huffs and puffs "Or you can just leave me in the dark like always".
 
Sunset Bridge - Persona 5 OST

Her voice, sounding a bit higher in tone than he had been expecting, caused the man to flinch at the sound. Crimson eyes were quick to look at her, as the bitter taste returned to his tongue and the chill of fear had sunk deep into his bones. She continued to speak, expressing rightful annoyance in his silence, to refuse to allow her to know; to refuse her the truth. Although, it certainly wasn't his intention to withhold the truth from her, he perhaps would have told her along the way there - actually, he probably wouldn't have. It wasn't as if he found her untrustworthy, after all there was no other companion that he had at this moment in time, and she had earned enough of his trust by saving him and keeping him safe during his brief coma. It was because... perhaps he didn't want her to know the burden of the future. An excuse for certain, one that he knew she wouldn't accept. Circling about over and over within his mind, to try and find an answer to her questions without telling her the truth; it was impossible he finally had settled on.

Haru released a heavy sigh, defeated almost as the man seemed almost uncomfortable, the way he shifted to sit upward so that he no longer was laying upon the floor, staring up at the ceiling. His hands clasped before him once more, the thin fingers twisting together in an anxious movement, a nervous fidgeting to calm his nerves; slow his quickened heartbeat as the vision of the massive beast settled before him again. "Yes, I saw something... when do I not?" The words were almost bitter, his eyebrows drawing together and forming frustrated creases upon his pale skin. Truly, the man resented this power, although the heavy weight of six thousand years he resented even more. Perhaps, he wished he could have his innocence back, to not know of the pain and torment of lives he had lived before, for they remained clutching at him, adding more of a chaotic cacophony to his already shattered mind, drawn into thousands of visions, thousands of futures all at once. It would drive a normal man perhaps to madness, to silence the chaotic screaming within his own mind, for not a single second would Haru know peace, merely ignoring visions that would flash of unimportant people milling about him. It was the truly vivid ones, like that of the tiger, that brought him to his knees and made him focus on it, demanding his undivided attention.

"Byakko." The name left his lips, the skin around his eyes tightening, jaw clenching tightly as he lowered his gaze to the wooden floors, seemingly far more interested in studying the swirling designs within the wood, than to even raise his eyes to look at Mitsuko. "I'm supposed to encounter... Byakko. It cannot be avoided." Haru knew well enough that the celestial beasts included himself, although he was a pitiful mortal compared to the extremely long lives of the other three counterparts that ruled over their respective territories. Byakko of the west, Genbu of the north, and Seiryu of the east; none of such celestial beasts had been seen by mortal eyes for six thousand years, but all were said to rule their respective lands with rage and howl with hatred at humanity... all except for the Phoenix who held such compassion, such benevolence. Hah, what bullshit. The thought nearly would make Haru laugh, his crimson eyes darkening. As if he felt compassion, or benevolence after what he'd seen happen to him in countless lifetimes. He was angry, rightfully so, but... he supposed his anger did not verge on hatred. No, not yet as strange as it would be. Insanity it seemed more like, although he was holding such emotions at bay. Perhaps, when this journey would be over, he would allow himself to fall apart, to break with the very small willpower that was holding himself together.

"...I know it seems... insane. But, I must go west. If I'm supposed to come across Byakko, I'd rather not let it seek us out first." His voice trembled a bit with those words, his mind still not yielding him any answers. All he saw was the massive tiger roaring at him, baring its teeth in rage. He was silent for a few more moments as he mumbled, "And... I suspect that it had been talking to me before I saw anything." The mysterious voice, he did wonder where and who was contacting him. It was not the feminine voice of the Phoenix that he was host to, but it was wild and deep, enough to make the earth tremble, both familiar and unfamiliar as if he'd heard it before. The roar on the winds that had attacked him in furious rage when he'd attempted to throw his life away, the rage of Byakko. He knew not the tiger's intentions, or why it even bothered to speak to him now of all times; but to say he wasn't curious was a lie, and terrified. The human part of himself didn't want to come across the monster, it had seen enough. The human part wanted to give up, all too similar to the Phoenix who longed for release. But, it seemed like he would not have the luxury of either.

"That's all I've seen since. Any other visions I've seen since are unrelated, unimportant at best. Are you happy that you know now?" His voice lacked much anger, merely empty as he finally raised his head to look at her, his arms crossed and cradled close to himself as if that could help bury the terror that he had been trying to stifle. Of course, he didn't wish for his response come out sarcastic, thus his empty tone. For the first time, the man had allowed her to know of the future... at least adding a bit more detail to what the future held for them. It didn't seem that his mind was looking back to the old vision that he'd changed the flow of, when he'd only told her to 'be careful'. Perhaps, it was an oversight on his behalf to not explicitly tell her what had been awaiting her, for he was too wrapped up in knowing that there was a potential for him to fail again, something that he was determined to throw off on his own, for if he couldn't, he knew he had been destined to die with her that night, regardless of what he did.

He turned his head away, leaning it back against the wall, his shoulders slumping as he murmured, "So, I need to do all that I can to prepare myself... even if I doubt it'll do much good. It is a celestial beast, not burdened by... mortal flesh." The truth was a bitter pill for him to swallow. He was a weakling, a pathetic and small creature before a great and mighty beast like Byakko. It made him wonder, what did the Phoenix that he supposedly was so many thousands of years ago saw in humanity? What great love did it hold to subject itself to such suffering, such weakness? He almost reached for the single thread, weakened and frayed that connected himself to the consciousness of six thousand painful years... only to stop himself immediately. I don't want to know. He truly didn't, he knew enough, saw enough, felt enough to know that whatever answer would be corrupted by its pain, its insanity. It would never be what it once was, it would never give him a straight answer, it would only give him that chilling and twisted command for: Oblivion, or Love me. Nothing else.

"..Useless.." He mumbled that bitter word, closing his eyes as he simply sat in silence, stewing in his own self-loathing again. The silence that followed only shown that he probably was lost within his thoughts, adrift in memories and visions, searching for solutions and finding none. To try uselessly, try and fail and try again. That was all he could do, for he was merely mortal himself now, and he knew the power that he called upon nearly killed him. Useless. The sentiment of bitterness echoed about in his head, dragging the man deeper into the pit he was digging for himself.
 

805
Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: Quantum Physics - Ruby Waters
The Seer looked so small in his hunched shoulders and fidgeting hands. As if he was carrying the fate of the world on that same horizontal line like the anchor to a seesaw, careful not to let it teeter too far to either side lest it would slip and shatter. Perhaps, in a way he was, his crimson eyes swirling with something incomprehensible under the pressure. Much like the patterns on the floor his gaze faced and that which extended to the ends of her fingertips, setting the spoon down slowly. He lived his life two-fold, once in the bounds of his mortal flesh and once in the various visions and possibilities that flittered past grasping hands. The things he had seen, the things he saw and the things he would come to see- was something Mitsuko would never understand. That much she had surmised from this exchange.

What she could understand and what she saw was a man tired of fighting alone, a man overwhelmed by his responsibilities and a man that had accepted her gift under the pretence of not caring. A man who did not let on he was anything else but a host for the Phoenix but that also smiled sweetly when reminiscing about the woman he loved. A man that had a life before all this and with a family to return to at the end of it- the man that called her a sow.

The brunette straightened in her seat, took a few seconds of the lingering silence to purse her lips and study time's furrows in the palm of her working hand. The scars that made for speed bumps along the road and the callouses that rose in hills between the grip of joints. Hands that had killed, hands that killed and hands that would kill. If the man's undeniable fate was to witness horrors, then her undeniable fate was to create them with these hands. A fact that made her perhaps more suitable than anyone to shoulder the role of Empress.

Mitsuko clenched her hand, silent determination in the act of nails digging into that very same palm. The floor shifted and creaked under her weight as she inched closer to the boy of merely eighteen summers and the feverish heat that emitted from her body ghosted in the air before him. A warm daydream that would be felt in its touch over closed eyes first, fingers pressing down in a second lid over them. Perhaps it was pity that pulled the strings to her marionette-like existence. Perhaps, it was resignment.

No matter what it was, it did not show in the disposition of tender eyes and smooth features. "Stop." One word that rang out like the end of spring in its last shower of pattering rain "First of all, thank you. For sharing this with me. Second of all, you're not useless nor are you alone in this". A pause that would let the clouds part and graze the Seer's silhouette below in spots of sunlight. "We will go west, we will face Byakko and for as long as I breathe, you will never be alone," She had failed her mother, she had failed her father and she had failed Hayate but she would not fail him. Not Haru. Her selfishness would claim no more victims "If we fail it will be my responsibility as the Empress but if we succeed it will be our shared victory," Slowly, reluctantly her hand withdrew from his face along with her body that dragged itself back to bed "-Allow me this, as it is my duty as the Empress".

The sheets rustled in a soft murmur to her movements, strong back soon reclined in the original position she had greeted the Seer with this morning. "Your family waits for you, does it not? And regardless if this Byakko wants to fight or not, he will have to go through me first," A chuckle pealed from her lips in harmony with the wind chimes outside, the sound of tinkling glass a paradox to the strength that resonated within her steady voice "-And like you know I'm quite stubborn but unlike you know I'm also stronger than you think. I got us out of the castle, didn't I? I have many more aces up my sleeves than that. Believe in me".

Her long monologue seemed to be drawing to its end as she unravelled against the floor in a deep exhale. The figure that was Mitsuko only present in the hum that travelled in an invisible breeze between the four walls. Reciting the melody from a long lost memory of a night when the deer and the child had fallen asleep shoulder to shoulder and the stars were still bright. No knives, no blood, no memories haunting them. The deer in the dark and the child in the light nursing a symbiosis to the song of Haru and the quiet complacency of Mitsuko.

On the other side of the shoji doors pitter-pattered footsteps and upon the return of silence to the couple in the room they ceased. Refracted into that of hands, sliding the door aside to reveal the old lady of the house. If she had overheard anything, it did not show on her wrinkled visage. A labyrinth of secrets in its own right in the pathways that crossed the skin in folds and indentations- of choices and memories buried deep within them. She clasped her hands in front of her earnestly "-Young man, if you're looking to get into the city this noon then a farmer will be passing by soon with his wares for the market. You might be able to hitch a ride from him if you hurry". Her squinting eyes made a passing look over the seemingly sleeping wife then the young man seated beside her.

"If it is your wife you worry for then worry not, I will attend to her in your absence," Her smile was tender, nostalgic in its observation of what she perceived as young love "Those clothes of hers are surely drenched by now and require a washing along with her body. Unless the young man would prefer to do that himself then I will gladly assist her". It was quite the odd sight, the woman's tattered clothes- worn beyond years that they could have been her own- and unassuming and unfit for the beauty that carried them. If she had the chance, she would love to dress her up properly. Perhaps, surprise the young man on his return home to her.

Indeed, if she could impart at least the smallest of joys to this couple she would do so. For they reminded her of a love that had never been allowed to be and days of endless summer- dying at the fingertips of flickering fireflies in autumn ushering of life.
 
With Best wishes - Katanagatari OST

It was the smallest of touches, the ghost of a touch that made Haru go rigid as his eyes opened, only see the darkness of her palm covering his view. He parted his lips in a protest, the beginnings of an angry 'what are you doing', had nearly left his lips at her gentle touch. Then, began the first word, a word that silenced him before he could even begin. His lips pressed together in an angry line, a huff of breath leaving him, perhaps beginning to think that she was about to pull another one of her ridiculous jokes at his expense. But, what he didn't expect was for her to begin to speak, words that claimed that she would be at his side, that he wasn't alone in this. He didn't have to be. She was empress, she was willing enough to pick up some of the burden, the heavy weight that he'd been carrying for so very, very long.

When had someone ever... said such kind words to him?

The question filtered through his mind, flashes of memories from when he was a boy, searching through the depths of the bad, the good. After his father was dragged away, shipped off to never be seen again, he was the one that needed to provide, to fill the void the man had left behind. He was the one that his mother counted on to protect the small family unit, to bear the brunt of the overseer's wrath after he stole food or medicine. To tend to his mother or brother when they fell ill, cleaning their clothes early within the day before the dawn would cross the skies as his mother's hands couldn't do the task herself; to then work back breaking hours gathering salt from the fields. Whenever he would be bullied by the other children for his odd-colored hair and strange foresight, beaten to a bloody pulp within the salty earth, only to return home to a worried mother, he would always tell her he was okay, to not worry and no matter how hard she pried, he would silence her with a painful smile. He would do the same for his little brother, the child always relying upon him as Haru would carry the small boy to the mess of wood and rope that was their home when he grew too tired to move due to hunger, and tell the boy falling asleep upon his back that everything would be okay, that he could handle it. He was fine. He had to be fine. He couldn't be not fine.

Even when his leg had been injured, he pushed himself, bearing the pain and much to his mother's horror would still work the fields within the sweltering sun, causing his injury to worsen. No matter how much she begged him to let himself rest, that he was just a boy, that he was pushing himself too hard... he would assure her, he was fine. Because he had to be, because it was expected of him. Because they needed him to be strong, to not break, to be reliable - they couldn't rely on anyone else, and he didn't have anyone there that he could rely on to bear the pain with him. Never rely on anyone, he could only rely on himself, he needed to bear everyone else's pain, he needed to make them better. Ignore his own problems, ignore his own suffering, because he was fine. He was okay. He had to be.

This behavior only intensified when he served under Mai-Jing, as memories of his small family had faded, he stepped up to please her. He wanted her to rely on him, he wanted to unveil the secrets she held in her eyes, and strove to do better. Not for himself, but for her. Always for her, never could he allow himself to admit that it was difficult on his own, plagued by his foresight. And she would praise him for his behavior, even once had gifted him the shortest of embraces, and recalling a single time where the woman appeared exhausted and had fallen asleep on his shoulder, ah... how happy that made him. He could be relied upon, he needed to be useful, he needed to do his best... and then he failed her, because he assumed he didn't push himself hard enough. But never in that time with Mai-Jing had the woman ever said she would shoulder the burden he carried with him, never had she looked at him in the midst of long nights as he educated himself, taught himself to read, to write; to even remotely say that it was okay for him to rest, to allow someone else to pick up some of his struggles.

He could feel his throat closing, his hands clenching into tight fists as she had moved from him, trying to fight back tears as he whispered, "Don't..." Don't tell me that. I can do it. I must do it. I don't need you. I don't need your help. I'm.. I.. He sucked in a sharp breath, his mother's melody coming from Mitsuko's lips. I can do it. I'm fine. I don't need you to tell me that. I... The man lowered his head, drawing his knees up to his chest, his forehead pressing against his knees as he felt as if it were getting harder to breathe. He didn't want to cry again, he couldn't cry again. ...You'll make me a selfish person. The tear he had been trying so hard to hold back had fallen, the warm tear slipping free from glistening rubies as he struggled to hold in his sounds. "You really... I swear.. I really hate you." He mumbled those words, voice trembling with the weight of tears, certainly not one would expect from someone being grateful. But, perhaps he was embarrassed at his weak self, embarrassed that she had seen him cry before. Embarrassed that she consistently kept drawing out a weak and pitiful side of himself, drew out his anger and other ugly emotions he never would allow to show in front of others. He never allowed anyone to see him break down in tears, certainly not when he was in his right mind. He struggled to regain his composure, hearing approaching footsteps as he hastily wiped his tears away, a mottled red covering his pale cheeks as his gaze settled upon the elderly woman who parted the shoji, chasing away with the sound of the opening shoji - and with it the rest of the man's vulnerability... for now.

He perked up at her words, forcing his mind completely into the present. That was right, preparations. He nodded his head to the woman, gratitude swelling within his chest at her notifying him, certainly he would have to leave now to see if he could even get a hold of this farmer. At the mention of 'wife', Haru had mentally cringed. He'd never told Mitsuko about his little lie that allowed them to say with the kind woman, he hoped desperately that she would play along... and not mention it afterward, though perhaps that was a hope that would be in vain. The Seer cast a worried glance over to Mitsuko, only for his face to ignite into a brilliant shade of red at the mention of washing her, if anything Haru had seen enough of the woman beside him, which caused the man to shake his head quickly, no doubt a very innocent reaction indeed as he scrambled up to his feet, "N-no, I'll go. T-thank you very much, ma'am." He bowed to her, a simple polite incline of his head as he struggled to suppress sounds of pain, forcing himself not to limp too heavily as he passed the elderly woman, though unable to help himself as he looked toward Mitsuko where she lay.

Idiot. The one thought echoed in his mind, but it was not filled with contempt or rage. Instead, the faintest of smiles had touched Haru's face, a gentleness coming to his crimson eyes that usually would look upon her with disgust, as he turned away from her. Thank you. That warm thought settled within his mind, swelling within his chest as for once, he felt like the heaviness upon his shoulders had been lifted, if only slightly. He would do his best, but at the very least he wasn't by himself. With that, Haru would leave, his mind now feeling a tiny bit clearer as he would go to see about securing passage to send them on their way.
 

787
Kanamori no Mitsuko
Vocab:

Theme: 悲しくてやりきれない - Kotringo
Despite the appearance of closed lids and a softly droning sound of breaths emitting from parted lips, Mitsuko was still awake. A flash of consciousness in the finger that twitched upon the declaration of 'I really hate you' and then the dainty quirk of a smile on the mention of 'Wife'. She did not speak up, however, let the knowledge simmer in her head for later use as peace returned to the room in departing footsteps and the quiet presence of her observer. The elderly woman briefly left to assemble her tools and then came back, carrying a bowl of cold water, a rag to be drenched in it and a dry one to wipe the remaining moisture away with.

Her movements were slow, a little stiff in the arthritis gnawing at the joints that bent down in a seat on the floor. Nonetheless, never did a word or sound of complaint leave the old woman's lips as she went through the motions. Expression as gentile as ever in the hands that folded the covers away from Mitsuko's body to which she finally turned around. The woman did not seem surprised by her awake state and even made a point of it as she asked 'May I?' while hovering above Mitsuko's collar. The latter nodded weakly, eyes that had fluttered open to take the woman in nursing shut again as the fabric was coaxed off the lines of shoulders.

In its stead came the wet rag, cool and harsh against her feverish skin but also soothing in the silencing of the throbbing. It wiped down the contours of collarbones and into the dales between neck and back. Slid down her chest in a circular and danced around the base and edges of her ribs. The old lady did not seem to mind her tattoos or she just had the decency to say it out loud. Opted to instead make for small talk during her cleaning "To have gotten married so young, your love must be strong". The brunette chuckled in turn, an amused sound that ebbed out in a low hum "I suppose it is". The rag shifted to wipe down her arms, first the limp one. A matter that caused Mitsuko to flinch in anticipation of a pain that only measured up to a fraction of the fear. She grinned, made the mental note that 'he must have cleaned it well' before relaxing back into the experienced palms of the lady.

The older woman's voice mused above her, "-I remember when I was around your age that I also had a sweetheart similar to the young man". She dipped the rag in the water and wrung it out with care. "A stubborn man he was," Pieces of laughter was expelled in sniggers, smiling eyes creasing at the edges with something tender "He was a farmer's boy and I was a noble lady and although we both knew it couldn't be, he would not stop pursuing me". The younger woman curiously blinked to life under the pacifying touch "You did not find him annoying?".

To pursue someone even after they had rejected you was another kind of self-entitlement in Mitsuko's experience. Even as she had entertained herself with romantic escapades back at court, it had always been without strings attached, always careful to not let it come back and haunt her. The ones that did were usually misinformed, living with a fantasy of her in their heads. One that she would dispel by showing them the real her. The ugly her, stripped of the colours that made for a temporary distraction in its masking of the broken canvas beneath. Cracks and paint losses, non-matching overpaints and bubbles that had congealed under the layers of jaundice varnish.

All adding up to the eventual abandonment of said painting. The older woman laughed, unbridled this time in the vibrations that racked her shoulders "I sure did. A most annoying fly I saw him as for the longest of times. One that would somehow get up and walk again after being smacked and that would fly despite having no wings". She regarded the displeasure that had slipped out in Mitsuko's wrinkled nose with a toothy beam. "But he was also the only one to see me as, well, me." The quivering fingers unmade the belt on the hakama and pulled them off, reached in under the folds of the tucked in kimono to wipe down thighs and calves. The mention of self had softened the brunette's features once more.

"I sense a 'but' in here."
"Indeed, you have sharp senses".

The woman began to dry her off, gently as to not pull or agitate the skin too much. "Once I began to see past our statuses and began to love him for him, he was obsessed with the idea of 'making himself deserving of me'." Her voice trailed off, wavered for a bit as she exhaled under the weight of dredging up old memories. Hand even paused in its hovering over the brunette before it continued on the next inhale. "A stubborn fool he was. To not realise that I would have left everything for him had he just asked," She snorted, eyes glazed behind the walls of bunched up and squinting flesh "-Instead he left me to become a soldier. Said he would marry me once he was a hero".

Somehow Mitsuko already knew how this story would end and the woman who had sensed this did not elaborate further. "No doubt you've had your fair share of hardships on your journey so far and no doubt your future will hold more of them." The mere mention of their possible intentions would have alarmed her in any other case, prompted her to clutch her dagger or fist and prepare for confrontation. In this case, however, she could tell just by looking at the lady that it would not be necessary. What could a woman who had already experienced her biggest regret in life have to gain from causing to someone else?

Mitsuko's white inner kimono was pulled up to cover her once more while the remaining outer layers were folded into a pile at her feet. The older woman momentarily left the room to fetch something and then returned with a bundle in her arms. She grabbed it by the shoulders and unfurled it in front of the brunette. A cascade of black silk falling from the grips of her fingers with ivory flowers embroidered into the hems and waist. It looked as if she had trimmed off a piece of the night sky and was now displaying it to the glittering eyes of a child. Curious about how the lady had managed to summon night at the snap of her fingers although the sun was still shining bright outside.

The woman brought her hand over the fabric in a gentle caress and a mellow face. "This was the kimono I intended to receive his engagement in. Needless to say, I never got to wear it," The expectation was betrayed in the eyes that met Mitsuko's "I love my husband very much but he's not him and he knows it. At least once...I would like him to see how it would've looked. How I would've welcomed him home". The brunette could only smile sympathetically in response and soon the two of them were seated on the floor ledge leading out to the fields at the back.

Mitsuko dressed in the black kimono and with a basket filled with edamame pods between them that each took turn to grasp a handful of and peel. A gentle breeze rippled through the landscape in swaying waves of grass and tickled the soles of her feet. Although she was still sick the fresh air was refreshing to aching lungs and the sunshine invigorating. The dawn of a new day in many more ways than one.
 
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