Poetry eloquently spoken.


i have always wanted
what maked you hap
py, but when i see yo
u smile with someone
else, i
can't seem to accept
that you're happier w
ithout me.
 

my head is in the sky
and when i see you walking among the clouds with me
i cant
help
but
f
a
l
l
into you
and i won’t be afraid of crashing
because i know you’ll be there
to catch me
 
thinking about even holding hands with you, my head starts to spin and i get dizzier, and dizzier, and diszier, andsdizzeyr, aniddizierz.
 
no, i can‘t. it’s not that i won’t, i literally fucking can’t. tell me i can fly, but does it look like i have wings, bitch? tell me i can make shit move with my mind, tell me this sappy stuff again, tell it to me one more time because i love your voice.
i love how you dont give up on me
and how you tell me to try
even when it feels like there’s nothing i can do
it gives me courage to think that maybe
i can do it with you.
 
im losing my breath
im gasping
it burns
i want to cry but theres nothing
im drowning in my feelings
its taking me over
and to think, it’s all for you.
 
i see myself when i look into your eyes
my reflection
im awestruck
im shaking
im losing myself
but you’re what’s keeping me together
you’re holding me
and it’s like glitter glue
because when we connect
its so beautiful that i dont want to let go.
 
my eyes open
i stare in,
but i don’t recognise him.
he’s not the man he used to be.
i reach out to him, and he does to me. we can’t make contact.
we never could.
i look through his eyes,
but i don’t see myself.
mirrors are so odd to me.
 
i never needed it, i didn’t need the help. i’m a great swimmer.
i’m in the deep end
i remove my salvation of floatation.
and i
go
under.
it burns, it’s in my lungs
it’s in my eyes
it’s in my nose
then there is nothing.
 
and i would wait for you forever
because i know you’ll come back.

its been two days
but i know you’re coming.

its been two weeks
i won’t give up on you, because I know you haven’t given up on me.

its been two months
it’s okay, i wouldn’t let them take your stuff. they want to sell it, they want to give it to other people. I won’t let them disgrace you.

its been two years
i haven’t left the house. i know that when you come back you’ll need someone to be here to open the door.

i’m sorry
they got me
i won’t be home when you get back
just promise me you’ll write. i’m sure post runs quick in heaven, since it didn’t take you long to get there.
 
i am fighting for self-control.
i’m fighting for strength over my mind.
i’m fighting to keep myself on top.
the sad part is that They are too.
 
tell me.
tell me you’ll stay.
tell me you’ll never go.
tell me you’ll protect me.
tell me that you love me.
but i’m just an idiot, and i’ll believe whatever.
 
you ruined me. you have always been there
when i didn’t want you. but when i needed you,
when i depended on you,
you weren’t there for me
and i’m the one who has to pay the consequences.
 
they’re hurting me
tell them to stop
tell him to stop
tell him to stop
tell him
please.

i stand and stare at his reflection
i’ve already downed my poisons.
i slept as soon as i hit my bed
and unfortunately
i woke up.

i carry on
i’m older now
he hurts me
i can’t tell anybody

i lay there as the water pours on my body.
i’m ugly now
i did everything to keep him away.

he hurts me
i’m bleeding.
it hurts me
there’s not a chance
he can be considered a human anymore.

it hurt all i love
it takes it all away from me
and i’m going down
i’m bleeding.

it hurts me
it hurts me

i hurt me
i cant tell them to stop
there’s more of us now
we’re great friends

i hurt them
i hurt them
i hurt them
i hurt them
i hurt them
 
glitter down on my face as i smile
everything is blurry
this light
this shine
and though i tried to keep my eyes shut,
all i can see is you
 

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