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Viewpoint Do you use the LGTBQ Friendly sub genre? Why or why not?

mikaluvkitties

Professional Unicorn Lover
Hello! For the sake of this conversation I feel it's necessary to mention that as I usually do group rps, I'm going to be approaching this from that angle.

I'm just really interested in viewpoints on the topic because I know that at least for me, the sub genre is necessary for me to even look at an interest check, and I always find it so surprising when I forget to filter for it and see all these realistic rps that don't have the sub genre listed.

I feel it'd be presumptuous to assume the reasons someone may or may not use it, so I thought I'd ask the people that use this forum their thoughts and opinions to better understand where people might be coming from :>

I don't think it's fair to expect you to tell me why you do the things you do if I don't do that as well, so I'm gonna give a brief explanation of why I care so much about the sub genre. So I guess it mainly comes down to me being a trans bisexual man whose main muses are not only more than a little gay but also trans/nonbinary. When I see that sub genre, it not only tells me that my muses are welcome there, but also that I am welcome there. Even if the rp doesn't revolve around romance, it still matters to me, because my existence doesn't revolve around a partner. Without a boyfriend, I am still a man and I am still attracted to men, and that shapes things to a greater capacity than just who I can romance in an rp.

Whew, really feel like I got on a soapbox there for a second. Sorry about that! Anyways, that's just my personal experience, and I'd love to hear yours! Please please please tell me how you personally feel about the sub genre- I really want to be able to better understand and comprehend the way others see this sub genre :>
 

ashwynne

|aquatic authority | ✎ art: peritwinkle
Supporter
(prefacing this by saying I'm coming from a 1x1 perspective, so the nuance is likely different since I'm only dealing with one other partner)

I enjoy having romance in my roleplays and I prefer mxf romance because that's reflective of my own sexuality. Naturally, I'm LGBTQ person friendly, but I don't want there to be miscommunications about what I'm looking for in terms of pairing types so I don't attach the sub-genre to my personal searches. I've always understood the genre as referring to characters being LGBTQ, rather than it having anything to do with the person on the other side of the screen, so using it that way never even occurred to me!

My only real guess for group roleplays would be that the RP is not romance focused and so the GM doesn't think it even needs to be said. I mean... I can't really fathom anyone turning away someone who has LGBTQ characters unless the plot requires specific gender roles to be observed.... and even then, it wouldn't matter if the writer was part of the community.

As for how I personally feel about it... I don't really see why it's necessary, I guess? People shouldn't be discriminating against people who are LGBTQ in the first place so there should be no need to specify if you are or are not friendly towards them. And then, when it comes to characters, it seems a little unnecessary to include it too since the absence of the sub-genre doesn't mean a plot isn't LGBTQ friendly either. Idk, it's an odd category since it can be interpreted in a few different ways... very curious to hear what other people think about it. This is a really interesting topic.
 

rae2nerdy

Ultra Nerdy
Yeah I tend to assume all the sub-genres are referencing to characters not players. I’m not even sure if you could discriminate against an LGBTQ+ player entering your roleplay.

Especially not in a group setting where you are looking for multiple players. As to why groups don’t use the sub-genre @ashwynne kind of nailed it. Most groups don’t revolve solely around romance and thus don’t really care what sexuality a character happens to be.

As for 1x1 they are about 80% romance based so the LGBTQ sub genre is used for people who are looking for those kinds of pairings primarily. Or at the very least are open to those kinds of pairings.

Not having the sub genre doesn’t mean your character can’t be LGTBQ+ it just tends to mean the person isn’t looking for a romance with those kinds of characters.

I personally am open to platonic or romantic pairings and all sexualities. So I will add Platonic, Romance, and LGBTQ to my searches to indicate that.
 

Idea

The Pun Tyrant The Gif Hydra
Helper
I don't have the slightest issue with characters being LGBT, much less with players being that. Be whatever you want as long as it fits. However, I would not in a million years use LGBT as a genre in my roleplays. It's a weird case where the thing that LGBT describes (the groups included within the LGBT community) does not entirely match the thing itself (the LGBT community itself and the attitudes sported by it).

But to clarify, here are the reasons why I don't want to use the genre:

A) I don't feel it is at all necessary to include. Heck, to me it's kind of a given that you can play those characters if you want, as long as they aren't plot-breaking and fit into the setting.

B) My RPs never focus on LGBT themes, even if one were to tangentially happen to fall into the plot (say, for instance, a genderbend story) I don't want to tackle those things through an LGBT lens.

C) I feel like the genre is inviting politics, drama and real world elements that really don't belong in most RPs or stories at all. Not because of anything inherent to LGBT, nor because every person who likes that as a genre is like the kind of people I dread coming into my RPs, but because by my experience whenever such terms are explicitly involved like "LGBT" the amout of people like that in the group grows exponentially, the kind of people who take this just too far. People whose only conversation topic seems to be how gay they and their characters are, who will get upset if there isn't a certain ratio of ethnic diversity in the group, who don't seem to have anything close to a sense of humor, who feel entitled to other character's romancing theirs but then turn around and are upset at characters not being an exact representation of the group they are being practically forced to play, who misunderstand people having preferences for descrimination, who get upset over anime tropes, who misinterpret the meaning of your content inserting their own lens into it and then claim it's horrible because of their own misinterpretation, people who imagine bigotry where there is none, then attempt to insert their own standards or even personally people for that perceived bigotry.

I'm not even saying there is any malice in this behavior, they are probably just way too ingrossed in these topics or too passionate about them, but I'm not here to get lectured on things I don't and could never see as issues, nor to have to constantly worry about when the smallest thing might be a landmine. I'm here to have fun. I like the things that I like. But certain phrases just seem to attract the kind of people who for whatever reason just can't accept that.
 

Fyuri

ηεмσρнιℓιsт
Administrator
I'll mention here that the LGTBQ Friendly option was meant to help those interested in those roleplays connect with each other. It was originally just LGTBQ (we couldn't include the + because the filter addon doesn't permit anything outside of letters it seems) but someone suggested to add in the Friendly part so that people who were also fine with heterosexual relationships could use it as well to show they'd be fine with any type of relationship.

As someone who used to work at a large bookstore I can state there was a common comment that the LGTBQ section was fairly small. Out of 300k+ books in the store they had two-four shelves and most times it was near the floor and thus easily overlooked.

One of the most popular tags on RpNation is actually m/m. It's #3 on the list of most used. It was included in the filter to allow members who only want or want to include this in their roleplays have the option to filter for it. It was never meant for any sort of political or social commentary. RpNation has always been inclusive and the filter is just to allow members to narrow down to find the types of RPs that they want based on a combination of prefixes, tags, and the sub-genres.

Now as far as if I used the option within my own roleplays. For my own 1x1 searches I don't because I focus more on m/f relationships. I don't use it for my group RP either because it's sort of inherent to me that sexuality and such doesn't matter in a group roleplay unless there is a plot-centric focus on relationships and societal stuff in the world building; like the WoD campaign that focused on the persecution of the LGTBQ community in Chechnya (which resulted in the SJWs causing them to remove/alter it).

Like @ashwynne I'm a LGBTQ friendly person. I don't use it simply because it's just not what I am looking for in a roleplay. I also agree with @rae2nerdy in that not using the option doesn't mean characters can't be LGTBQ. I find it's use to be focused on romantic pairings rather than anything else.
 

Wert

Something
I barely use the filter tags and most of my rps aren't romance oriented, including 1x1s. I support LGBTQ and most of my characters are on the LGBTQ spectrum, but I don't find the filter tag necessary.
 

Peppercorn

Junior Member
I’m not even sure if you could discriminate against an LGBTQ+ player entering your roleplay.
I know of anti-LGBT RP on another site that has stirred controversy between players, other members of the site and the mods for years. Basically, you can be LGBT in the RP (apparently), but because several of their members are "hyper religious", you can't actually do anything LGBT in the RP. Nothing with the same gender or whatever; no kissing, hugging, etc.

I barely use the filter tags and most of my rps aren't romance oriented, including 1x1s. I support LGBTQ and most of my characters are on the LGBTQ spectrum, but I don't find the filter tag necessary.
This +1. Also what Idea said, for the most part.
 

Crenando

Pencil Neck Geek
I feel like it's a bit redundant when most RPs ask about a character's sexuality. It has a place in romance and slice of life, but in genre RPs, I don't think you need it.

Nothing with the same gender or whatever; no kissing, hugging, etc.
Hugging? Really? Are they that thin-skinned?
 

Ayama

Enthusiast
I'd have to say (in breaking a little from what seems to be the established trend of this thread ;P ) that I feel basically the same way about the tag as OP.
I want there to be at least the possibility for romantic relationships in all my RPs, and I want there to be basically as many possibilities as there can be.
Adding the tag, for me, does that. It tells interested players that, if they want to play non-hetero characters (as well as hetero ones), those characters and their romantic interests will be welcome. This way, hopefully, more people will want to join and all players will have more options for romantic interactions~

In response to the notion that it is unnecessary since most RPs already have sexuality/orientation tags in the profiles, I agree to some degree.
On the one hand, having that option essentially implies that any character sexuality is welcome, obviating the need for the tag.
On the other hand, whether or not people click on the interest-check in the first place is largely dictated by the tags attached to it so, if the tag isn't there, it might make some people assume that the RP isn't LGBTQ+ romance friendly, and not even check out the RP. So I really think there's nothing to lose by adding the tag.
Though I will say that, to me, adding the tag specifies that romance will be a part of the RP, and that it therefore isn't necessary for any RPs that don't want romance in them.

I will also add that, as a personal preference, I rarely include that section in the profiles I make for my RPs or fill out for others, as I believe in giving mostly information that feels, to me, necessary for the GM and other players to have, and let the rest about the characters getting to know each other develop organically. This has resulted in lovely situations where character crushes develop organically in the RP/OOC, with one or both of the characters' sexualities being undisclosed at the outset, reflecting what I, at least, see happening/would like to see happening in real life. I believe that, often, the uncertainty in knowing other people's preferences at the outset is a complication to pursuing romantic relationships for many in the LGBTQ+ community (and some, but probably fewer, in the hetero community), so I want my RP to reflect that struggle while offering perhaps a few more options/helpful constructs than tend to be available in real life (though I'm happy to say that with FB and dating apps and the like and the increasing general acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community, I believe that complication to be getting closer and closer to disappearing ^^ ).
 

rae2nerdy

Ultra Nerdy
I know of anti-LGBT RP on another site that has stirred controversy between players, other members of the site and the mods for years. Basically, you can be LGBT in the RP (apparently), but because several of their members are "hyper religious", you can't actually do anything LGBT in the RP. Nothing with the same gender or whatever; no kissing, hugging, etc.

This +1. Also what Idea said, for the most part.
Sorry I was talking about this site specifically. I can’t imagine any of the group GMs denying IRL LGBTQ+ players nor do I think the site rules would allow it if they tried. But that’s just a personal feeling I expect you would have to ask the Staff for a more official answer.

I did have a person throw hissy fits about characters being anything other than heterosexual. To the point where they didn’t even allow aro/ace, which are basically just chaste people who don’t date anyone. But I guess to some people anything that isn’t man x woman is automatically gay and unacceptable.

So I mean the not wanting “gay” things in a roleplay I can sort of understand I just dont see how it would matter if your partner was “gay” in real life. Unless they were discussing their dating life with you how would it matter?
 
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Crenando

Pencil Neck Geek
I have did have a person throw hissy fits about characters being anything other than heterosexual. To the point where they didn’t even allow aro/ace, which are basically just chaste people who don’t date anyone. But I guess to some people anything that isn’t man x woman is automatically gay and unacceptable.
I think I saw you bring up this person before in another thread. This was the person who was a jerk about their politics, right?
 

Idea

The Pun Tyrant The Gif Hydra
Helper
On the other hand, whether or not people click on the interest-check in the first place is largely dictated by the tags attached to it so, if the tag isn't there, it might make some people assume that the RP isn't LGBTQ+ romance friendly, and not even check out the RP. So I really think there's nothing to lose by adding the tag.
That's not entirely right... there is a limit to the number that can be added, so by having to add "LGBT" as a tag one may have to forgo another potentially more fitting tag, or risk that people who want LGBT pairings will skip over their content not because they aren't friendly to those people just out of the mistaken assumption that the lack of the tag implies the lack of the friendliness.
 

Swarx

The Freechoicer
nope

1. my roleplays don't center around those themes, or really romance in general

2. not into MxM stuff, so it'd be misleading to include the whole thing

3. world-building wise, my settings (due to the fact they're non-modern, dystopian, or just homophobic/illiberal) usually aren't conducive to certain LGBTQ themes, especially in regard to trans/nonbinary/etc. i mean, you could theoretically roleplay as a conflicted/closeted person the entire time, but there wouldn't be many avenues to actually do anything.
 
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rae2nerdy

Ultra Nerdy
I think I saw you bring up this person before in another thread. This was the person who was a jerk about their politics, right?
Well more their religion but yeah. They were super rigid about what themes could be allowed in a roleplay. To the extent that things that didn’t even contradict their views couldn’t be added because they didn’t promote their religious views.
 

Peppercorn

Junior Member
Sorry I was talking about this site specifically. I can’t imagine any of the group GMs denying IRL LGBTQ+ players nor do I think the site rules would allow it if they tried. But that’s just a personal feeling I expect you would have to ask the Staff for a more official answer.

I have did have a person throw hissy fits about characters being anything other than heterosexual. To the point where they didn’t even allow aro/ace, which are basically just chaste people who don’t date anyone. But I guess to some people anything that isn’t man x woman is automatically gay and unacceptable.

So I mean the not wanting “gay” things in a roleplay I can sort of understand I just dont see how it would matter if your partner was “gay” in real life. Unless they were discussing their dating life with you how would it matter?
Oh, I think I misread your post earlier.

To add on what I said earlier, the RP has someone who is bisexual IRL apparently, but as I said, they still have actual anti-LGBT rules in place because they're "highly religious" and their religion says homosexuality (and therefore LBGT) is wrong. It's not a "hey, please respect my religion" like the one 1x1 check I found earlier on here, it's a "ew the gays" response whenever someone asks about it since there have been heated arguments over the whole "you can be LGBT but I don't want to see it". Y'know, like the whole "don't ask, don't tell" policy the US military had for some time.

As for actually denying someone for being LGBT or w/e IRL, yeah, I haven't seen someone be denied because of that. It'd be about as dumb as denying a partner simply because they're a man or a woman. Plus it'd be actual discrimination to deny someone for being LGBT IRL, honestly. The only thing that really should matter is age since you can get into hot water for example, being underage in an 18+ environment.
 

Soap

President Soap🧼
I always figured that the LGBTQ tag was for roleplays itself, not the people who join. I mean, obviously people are people and I could go into a whole thing about respecting values and one another but I always thought that the tag meant my character whoever I decided to make them be, would be allowed and would have the same expectations as would straight characters, like romance.

Because in most roleplays, there are pairings that almost always throw a guy and a girl together. Many RPS don’t have the gay, lesbian, trans, asexual roles. And that puts me off to joining sometimes.

Especially when those types of RPs have the tag in them. ‘LGBTQ friendly.’ Yet all the characters are supposed to be straight and cis-gendered?

RPs that don’t have roles are different usually, and most people don’t use the tag but they also don’t mind to have a LGBTQ character in the rp. And I’m so glad that I haven’t ran into that one person that tells me I couldn’t play my character because she likes girls.

That’s my opinion on it, at least it’s the way that I see it. It should be used for what the site is for, which is roleplaying purposes.

I don’t understand how some people see it as just being ‘friendly’ “Oh! They have the tag, now they’ll would let you in the roleplay because of who you are as a person.” Religious views, personal views, whatever you believe in, it just doesn’t make enough sense. No offense who anyone who thinks so, but I just never thought that LGBTQ friendly tag could somehow mean that you’re just supposed to respect people as if they didn’t already deserve it.
 

rae2nerdy

Ultra Nerdy
Oh, I think I misread your post earlier.

To add on what I said earlier, the RP has someone who is bisexual IRL apparently, but as I said, they still have actual anti-LGBT rules in place because they're "highly religious" and their religion says homosexuality (and therefore LBGT) is wrong. It's not a "hey, please respect my religion" like the one 1x1 check I found earlier on here, it's a "ew the gays" response whenever someone asks about it since there have been heated arguments over the whole "you can be LGBT but I don't want to see it". Y'know, like the whole "don't ask, don't tell" policy the US military had for some time.

As for actually denying someone for being LGBT or w/e IRL, yeah, I haven't seen someone be denied because of that. It'd be about as dumb as denying a partner simply because they're a man or a woman. Plus it'd be actual discrimination to deny someone for being LGBT IRL, honestly. The only thing that really should matter is age since you can get into hot water for example, being underage in an 18+ environment.
I mean I can see if you have been harassed by the opposite gender in the past OR if you have an SO who doesn’t want you talking to whichever gender your attracted to. Not my preference but I don’t think it’s like a shitty thing to do.

I don’t even think asking a partner not to talk about X aspects OOC as well as IC because they make you uncomfortable is unreasonable. It’s how you make the request really. It’s one thing to respectfully ask someone to adhere to your comfort level. It’s another thing to be an asshole to other people because they don’t agree with your religion/politics/personal opinions.
 

Dede

Westbrook Wolf
All of RPN should be LGBTQ "friendly". The tag, although probably well-meaning, is both counterproductive and ludicrous.

The "LGBTQ" tag, as it should have stayed, rightly describes the nature/theme of the roleplay, not the sexuality of the roleplayers involved, which really is nobody's business.
 

Crenando

Pencil Neck Geek
Well more their religion but yeah. They were super rigid about what themes could be allowed in a roleplay. To the extent that things that didn’t even contradict their views couldn’t be added because they didn’t promote their religious views.
What other things were off-limits?
It seems like if you enforced everything that didn't fit a religion's world view, you'd just kind of end up with a Bibleman RP.
 

Elf_Ruler

Basically Santa ^_^
All of RPN should be LGBTQ "friendly". The tag, although probably well-meaning, is both counterproductive and ludicrous.

The "LGBTQ" tag, as it should have stayed, rightly describes the nature/theme of the roleplay, not the sexuality of the roleplayers involved, which really is nobody's business.
This is exactly right. It shouldn’t matter what someone’s sexuality is and it makes more sense to know the theme of the rp not about someone’s personal life because that isn’t anyone’s business besides the individual themself
 

rae2nerdy

Ultra Nerdy
What other things were off-limits?
It seems like if you enforced everything that didn't fit a religion's world view, you'd just kind of end up with a Bibleman RP.
Well we didn’t get far admittedly cuz the first thing they said was do you want to do a romance roleplay? I asked if my character could be aro/ace and they stormed off in a huff after telling me how their religion didn’t tolerate homosexuality.

But that was sort of the point I tried to make. Like aro/ace aren’t homosexual they’re chaste. They don’t date anyone because it’s not their preference. ( I would have explained how that could work out romantically if they stuck around) but their main take away was the characters had to be straight Christians because anything else was against their religion. Which I mean fine for your characters but don’t tell me what my character’s religion is thanks. Or their sexuality for that matter. Especially when the sexuality I chose doesn’t go against “Christian values” it’s the sexual preference version of taking a vow of chastity.
 

Crayons

Member
I only made one interest check and I included the LGBTQ Friendly tag because my thought was that I don't want people to feel excluded, and that by not adding it there was an implication that LGBTQ people/characters weren't welcome. I don't see that LGBTQ Friendly can possibly be a genre (in the vein of fantasy, anime, etc.), so it never occurred to me that it would be thought of as one.
 

rae2nerdy

Ultra Nerdy
I only made one interest check and I included the LGBTQ Friendly tag because my thought was that I don't want people to feel excluded, and that by not adding it there was an implication that LGBTQ people/characters weren't welcome. I don't see that LGBTQ Friendly can possibly be a genre (in the vein of fantasy, anime, etc.), so it never occurred to me that it would be thought of as one.
It’s a sub genre akin to romance or platonic. These are pretty distinct divides in 1x1 roleplays. As you have people who don’t do romance at all , people who only do romance if it’s heterosexual, and people who are open to any variation.

Which is why the LGBTQ Friendly sub genre was created. To show that the person is open to pairings that are LGBTQ in their search. The alternative is to use the MxM tag as a sub genre but that’s more exclusionary. As it only talks about one kind of LGBTQ pairing.
 

zippy

drmr boy
My thought process is as follows:

If LGBTQ+ isn't relevant to my roleplay I will not include the tag. The presence of the tag should ensure the reader that LGBTQ+ themes and/or characters will be present in the roleplay. I feel that using it to show that these characters are "welcome" is too vague of a way to use the tag. The absence of the tag does not mean that these characters are forbidden or not welcome. It seems that to express something of this sort, there would be (and usually is) something more specific in the outlined rules/guidelines.

I think you may be doing yourself a disservice by filtering out threads that do not include this tag. It seems that many people are similar to me when I say that your characters may still be welcome despite me not using the tag.

If you're unclear whether or not your LGBTQ+ character is welcome but you enjoy the thread otherwise, you should just ask. Most GMs or people searching for partners welcome questions and would rather not miss out on a partner because of assumptions.
 
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The Inquisitor

The Empress of the Pen
I, personally, have never used that tag because I have never made an RP where I was specifically looking for LGBTQ+ characters. I accept those characters, don't get me wrong. And I have made several characters who fall into that category (in fact I would say more than half). So even if I do not use the tag, it does not mean I would reject a character that falls under the flag, but I can say I am not specifically looking for a character that falls under the flag.

I have never done an RP that was supposed to directly do anything with LGBTQ+ stuff, so it would never be the main concentration, however I was always willing to let it come up alongside the main plotline I had set up. So, most of the time, as long as someone in 1x1 is saying: "I am looking for MxF only" for a specific romantic pairing, there is a good chance you can have an LGBT character in there.

Long story short, I don't use the tag because I never felt the need to, but I very much accept LGBTQ+ characters and I think most others do as well.
 

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