Viewpoint Do you ever play the opposite gender? Do you prefer it?

[Lappi]

I'm a female, but I have found writing males has always been my preference. I write such diverse characters when they're male, I can really branch out and not put aspects of of myself in them too much.

But I can't not make female characters some version of me, and thus there's less creative liberties and it just gets boring when it's too personal. It's a flaw of mine actually!

The reason I don't write as males so much is because they are always gobbled up by those who only write female. And I don't like writing a lot of romance especially from a male's perspective at all. So I don't get to write as them as much!

I hear ya.

 

[scorpiodragon]

I'm female and prefer writing from the male side. I write or play very few female characters, once in a while I will throw myself into a thread with an alternate last name or an alternate name altogether that is somewhat based on myself but that is rare.

I think it stems from the fact for the longest time I detested girls and the girly girly thing that I never got into as a child or teenager. It's only now, as an adult, that I've gotten in touch with my feminine side.

 

[MechanicalSnake]

Absolutely! I am a woman and I only ever play men. I just hate writing women. Guess I was born in the wrong body.

 

[gambolingcat]

Oh, totally. I try to write all sorts of people. It's essential for a writer to be able to empathize with folks who aren't just like them and to be confident stepping into that headspace of such characters; if you aren't able to write cross-identity, you're closing yourself off from massive swathes of the population. I suppose a writer can be adept at writing many different identities and still choose to just write one, but it seems like that would get boring after a short while.

Personally, I don't understand looking at a group as diverse, vague, and large as... I dunno, say, Saggitarians... and just going: "Eh, no, never. I'd hate writing every single one." Better, why not use your creative skills to make up a Saggitarian character you don't hate writing?

 

[Imaginarium]

I play characters of both genders. And also genderless characters such as robots or alien species with asexual reproductive systems.

 

[Winter_]

Even as a straight female, I prefer to play male characters. I also only play against other male characters; doesn't need to be m/m or romance and I'll happily play my muses as straight male characters, but the girlfriends are always NPCs and I'll never throw my straight males into a line where the other main character is female. It just doesn't seem to work.

While it is my preference now, and while I will play a few females here and there, it started more as a result of a social construct.

Female characters tend to be very strictly typecast, and honestly, most people who play female characters don't help the cause. The ideas of Mary Sue and self-projection tend to come into play a lot, as well as the flip side of over characterizing. Suddenly everyone is as kickass as Lagertha (or Wonder Woman or whatever) and thus instead of the typical damsel in distress Mary Sue, you have a Feminist Mary Sue. It's fundamentally the same 2-dimensional character just packaged slightly differently. Then, heaven forbid you get through all of that alive and end up with a great female character, you still get lumped into more romance than the storyline and then half the time you develop issues as every 19-year-old dude with a hard-on and Jason Momoa PB stalk you around the internet... True story.

So yeah, I prefer to play dudes. There's less drama once you get over and past the seme/uke (top/bottom) bullshit, then it's generally more fun.

Funny old world, huh?!

 

[gambolingcat]

I think you make a sharp observation and important distinction there, Winter_ . It seems like a lot of women tend to gravitate towards writing men because... a lot of other roleplayers royally SUCK at writing women, and this suckage gives rise to a lot more roleplayers who expect a really boring and stereotypical package when they play with women characters. And then these players get upset when they encounter women characters who deviate from the flat roles they've been trained to approve of.

It does seem especially bad in RPs with romantic threads, yeah. I've noticed a decent chunk of roleplayers claim romantic subplots are purely optional, but are in actuality super disappointed when you bring in a female character who isn't "romanceable." I've been ghosted for this a few times.

It's still a real shame, though. Mostly because it makes me worry that roleplaying communities, by and large, are looking for women characters to play very specific and (frankly really dull) roles in their stories.

 

[Winter_]

It seems like a lot of women tend to gravitate towards writing men because... a lot of other roleplayers royally SUCK at writing women, and this suckage gives rise to a lot more roleplayers who expect a really boring and stereotypical package when they play with women characters. And then these players get upset when they encounter women characters who deviate from the flat roles they've been trained to approve of.

That right there is the issue, and as you said later, it is worrying. The issue of badly portrayed women spreads a lot further than just in the RP world. But for us here, it can be a bit of a nightmare, and when you just want to write and have fun, it's a lot easier to throw female characters to the side, and not try to find someone not brainwashed by the Female trope.

I personally struggle because of the things I like. I'm not a romantic person, I don't watch romcom movies (I mean, I do when I have nothing else, but I'm not going to rush off to the cinema to see it like I would the latest Thriller or mystery movie). I'd throw my laptop out the window before I played a Slice of Life/self projection plot. I like cops and thieves and who-dun-it plots, with brawls and sinister plans and a few blood spits for the dramas. So trying to find a RP partner for things like that can be hard enough as it is, let alone if I'm trying to play a female muse. And should I play a male cop, there's a good 90% chance that I'm going to end up against a chick who 'needs saving' or who is 'so whoopass' that she's 10 times better than my chain-smoking, hard-hitting detective.

You're totally right on the whole 'romantic subplots optional' thing as well. The number of times that I've tried to get something cool started up, only for the other person to try and push in some romance within the first few posts is infuriating. Or, as you said, there are also all the times you get ghosted after saying something like "I'm not really looking to make this an overly romantic line; let's start with our plot and see how it all goes" And then POOF, they're gone.

Ahh, the joys of RP.

 

[PaddieCake]

I tend to write as both genders (I think I might have more male than female characters at the moment, but I tend to write with either gender as equally, especially since, in the past, I could have had up to four or five characters in a give RP (two was my average but I had a problem). It depends entirely on my mood which characters I use, and typically I pick them/create them based on personality and how well they would fit into the story.

I did start out as writing exclusively female (I'm female, I felt more comfortable writing as female). I only started writing for males because I had to. When I first started RP-ing most everyone was playing female characters, and there was a lot of gender imbalance and a lot of people wanted there to be more balance (a 1:1 male to female ratio if possible) in genders, and generally there were only one or two people who were ever willing to RP as male on the forum I was on... soooo yeah, I started making male characters out of necessity. Then I realized it's kind of the same to write for a male character as it is a female character, and it became way easier to write as both .

(also I'm 99% sure I tried pushing romances into RPs even if it didn't really fit, thankfully I've mostly grown out of that (character growth woohoo! Now I just say "this one I want to be romance" "this one I don't really care" (being upfront is very important)). I'd say I never really noticed that sort of trend where people expect boring/bland female leads to be 'romanced' but then again I haven't been RP-ing much in awhile so I probably just haven't stumbled across it... That sounds absolutely infuriating though =/

 

[official clown business]

Feels good when you're in a fantasy/sci-fi roleplay with flexible races and you can completely ignore gender by making your character a race that doesn't have gender as a factor. Not that I've ever done that.

I haven't done much in the way of 1x1s and am hardly the romantic writer, so I'm the kind of roleplayer that really can't be bothered with gender restrictions, unless it's a big deal in the setting (such as a patriarchal society or timeline-accurate gender discrimination) so I just play whatever works, man. I'm not too concerned about gender balance, either, but (since I'm a guy, probably) I'm going to be pretty conscious if I see a lot of female showing up from me or from everyone else.

In addition, I share the belief some people have on here - that writing stuff for a male character hardly differs vs a female character most of the time, like really it doesn't matter. People say they don't know how to write a gender well and honestly, if they're not doing romance or in the kind of setting where society prefers women in their houses, I silently think to myself... is there really a difference between the two? There's a little, sure, but if I had no way to tell what gender the character was I don't think I would be able to tell between male or female based on the way they spoke and such.

Of course, I can't help myself from subconsciously picking the gender of a character based on their personality, history, and etc. Like I take one look at what they're going to be and I immediately go, "Yep, this one's gonna be a guy/girl."

So, to summarize with a quick answer to the question - yes, I play the opposite gender, and I have no preference either way (mostly because I don't do romance). It just happens.

 

[gambolingcat]

I think a really surefire way to write believable characters of any gender is just to ask, "What does it mean to be (gender) in this world my character lives in?" That way, a writer is focusing more on tangible, multi-dimensional factors that add depth to a specific character rather than just implanting the writer's own prejudices and stereotypes into a mannequin. Useful gender questions go like: What do other characters in this world expect of my character because of their gender? Does my character adhere to gender conventions or destroy them or ignore them? What experiences and troubles do people of my character's gender face in the world? What challenges do they face from sexism, if there is any sexism in their world?

And yeah, sure, people (and characters) of different genders can tend to behave and perceive things differently... because they are subject to the gender conventions, opportunities, influences, education, economy, and belief systems of the world around them. It all starts with understanding your character's world.

Sadly, plenty of writers (professional ones included) come at character design from the shallow end, basing all their characters off how they personally think genders should behave rather than how gender functions in a character's world. That's when you get the really stereotypical, bad cross-gender writing. These writers almost always fail to sufficiently answer the question: "OK, my character tends to behave this way...but for what reasons?"

 

[FancySockDragon]

I can write both genders but usually have a heavy male leaning. I don't know why honestly. I prefer designing/drawing female characters and my characters often, regardless of gender, have a feminine leaning, but they're typically biologically or identify as male. I guess I just like it.

 

[Azerinthus]

Yes, but I don't really enjoy it.

 

[JynxieMinxie]

It's difficult for me to write as a male character... so I tend to stick with my own. If I do end up writing for a male, they are incredibly generic or weird enough that they wouldn't abide by gender 'norms' anyways. XD

 

[Ronan]

I’m comfortable writing both genders, but when it comes to female characters, I will never write “soft”, “submissive”, or pure “femme” ones. I like writing strong, three-dimensional women who break stereotypes and are outside of the common trope.

They can be tall, like men, and dominating. They can be nonbinary and deaf. They can be a lesbian and a Muslim, or bisexual and uninterested in romance. The goal is to be different (not in that ‘I’m a blue alien with six arms and a pet rock’) way, but in a recognisable, real-world way that keeps the reader interested regardless if they relate to the character or not- but because it’s different.

As for writing men, they tend to be more saturated compared to my female characters, but interesting nonetheless. Maybe it’s an overweight gay man, a sixty-five year old divorcee, a social worker, et cœtera.

They are real-world people that exist out there, but as writers, we often forget that two seemingly contrasting things can go together. There are lesbian Muslims out there just as there are overweight homosexual men. The difference is that its not seen or written enough because it’s uncomfortable to write outside the “seen” or your comfort zone.
As a writer, those are the characters I gravitate towards or find myself writing.

 

[Filianore]

I used to write exclusively female characters and while I do still tend to default to female when I write alone, I am comfortable writing both female and male.

Learning about LGBT+ really kind of takes away this notion that you can only write one or the other. At least, in my experience, being taught that gender is a spectrum and not always (if ever) black and white got rid of the rigid wall I used to separate male and female. So now every character I write has gender as more of an after-thought than anything (unless its important to their story somehow).

I think the only reason why I still tend to default to making female characters more often is because I'm female. I think that's something a lot of people do, though. At least, my friends tend to have a majority of their characters align with their identities too.

 

[waywarddemon]

I play the opposite gender more often than not. I used to prefer it because I thought it was more interesting, but now I love to play all genders.

 

[Sibelle Grey]

Whenever I do write females, there is that anxiety about making them 'weak'. 'Submissive'. 'Damsel'-y. It's so often denounced and I so often rage against it myself that I have moments where I'm like . . . ohgodohgodshe'ssofragileisthisterrible
But then I think. They're not any more damsel-y than my male characters are. I tend to do the tragic backstory thing in general (I do enjoy breaking my characters a little before the roleplay even starts). I think we sometimes give female characters flack for things we would not mind in a male character because we're rejecting those annoying stereotypes. So really, it's all about creating a well-crafted character in any case.
So I try not to hesitate to write gentle, caring, diplomatic female characters when that just happens to be their personality. I just also try not to write them as doormats.

But yes, I do write male characters, as well. Five out of nine current characters of mine are male. It is gratifying to write males as three-dimensional as I possibly can (after an early teenagehood of reading stereotypes smh). I did start writing them because on my old site there were so many girls who only played girls, I created the diversity I wanted to see. I'm very comfortable writing them at this point. I do consider what gambolingcat mentioned above, and I think that helps me write them realistically. Reality here being subjective, since I have a few fantasy worlds. But being female myself, I take into account what it means to be male for each of them and make sure they're aware of their expected role, as we all are, whether or not they choose to conform.

Spoiler: Some of my male characters

The aristocrat in a kingdom a bit more egalitarian than our society but very family-oriented is expected to settle down with a nice Lady and carry on the family name, is aware of that, and has chosen to sleep around and is currently openly dating a man. But even then; no-one questions his masculinity, they question his morality. The spoiled, bratty twenty-something from modern-day New York is acting the way you'd expect him to act, toxic masculinity abounds here. The one from a patriarchal society tossed into a matriarchal empress's harem is doing what's expected from him and adapting, for the glory of his family.

 

[Leah_Kitten]

I will play male in BxB but for BxG I prefer to play female

 

[Lis]

I play both male and female characters. I used to heavily prefer playing females, but that seems to have changed recently and I lean towards males now.

 

[Lappi]

To expand my opinion a little bit. It's worth saying that I play all kinds of characters. Even robots & such. I enjoy them all because I create them.

 

[bensolo]

I often play the opposite gender and while I wouldn't say I prefer it, I always enjoy being able to play a nice variety of characters.

 

[heavyreyne]

I don't roleplay to experience my own mundane life. I come here to be a demon-hunting kaiju-fighting gay andriod instead of a boring broke ass cashier. like most people, I'm guilty of planting seeds of my very self into my characters but roleplaying has really helped me explore my own identity by writing a variety of characters. there's no pattern in the genders, personas, s/o and morals of the characters I play, and that's the best part of it. if roleplay were predictable, it wouldn't be fun.

 

[heavyreyne]

To expand my opinion a little bit. It's worth saying that I play all kinds of characters. Even robots & such. I enjoy them all because I create them.

robot characters are underrated and we n e e d more of them. they're a big chunk of the plot in my roleplays because the way society regards them is typically controversial.

 

[Snowfeather]

For a while I used to be more comfortable playing the opposite gender, but I have been starting my journey of once more playing my gender, which I find is equally satisfying if not more relatable and a bit easier at times.