Experiences Do you ever get suddenly ghosted/left in a Conversation?

[N30NL4Z3R]

This happened to me recently with the person leaving the conversation on both the RP and personal and I was wondering if this has happened to others and whether or not I should feel sad or responsible for their lost interest or making them fed up with my messed up scheduling issues. This is kind of a personal issue of mine with guilt and want to not disappoint, and that is what made me want to ask for advice on whether or not this is common since it kind of hurt to see someone leave the conversation without telling anything that they were fed up with. This is just personal issues with my mental state making this worse than it had to feel, but I just can't help but feel a hit emotionally due to want to not disappoint others. Please let me know what you think and I'm sorry if this doesn't fit here. ;w;

 

[Onmyoji]

This happens a lot and most likely had nothing to do with you.

Actually, there was a recent thread about this and a lot of people shared their experiences and views on this issue, I recommend checking it out!

Experiences - Why do people ghost so easily on RPN?

Hi there. I'm assuming this is the right place to post this, so if it isn't please tell me and direct me to the appropriate place to post something like this. With that out of the way, let me get to the main point of this post which you may have already guessed by the title. So, I'm pretty new...

www.rpnation.com

You're definitely not alone in this and it's more like a part of the hobby that one needs to get used to.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Yep, it’s called ghosting and there is a thread about it (Experiences - Why do people ghost so easily on RPN?)

The tl:dr is that this is a common part of the hobby and has absolutely nothing to do with you personally. Everyone gets ghosted, it doesn’t matter your interests, your skill, your age, etc.

It’s usually down to one of two things :

1. Real life issues come up (I have had to deal with partners having hospitalizations, deaths in the family, computer troubles, food poisoning, COVID, etc.)

2. A fair number of people on this site suffer from anxiety, depression, etc. Thus in the same way your own mental state makes you predisposed to take blame theirs makes them predisposed to avoid conflict.

Honestly it’s really a game of patience to find people who are compatible not just with your mental state but with your style of writing.

The biggest thing to remember is : Don’t take it personally. It is never ever about you or something you did.

 

[N30NL4Z3R]

Ah, okay! I think it's just low self-esteem making this seem worse to me emotionally than what it should, but it's just seeing that crossed out name in messages saying the other left the conversation just kind of hurts, since I'm used to the message staying up and the people just staying even if the thing has died. It just makes sting more than the later since it makes it seem like you did something wrong, like taking too long to respond due to outside stuff like what's happening to me currently.

 

[Edric Blight]

all the time my friend. I'm with ya there.

 

[Pretty Little Creature]

All of the time. I also don't take offence to it because I generally don't know any of these people. They are strangers over the internet. Do they have an obligation to me? No. Do I have an obligation to them? No? Unless you are someone who's been in my life for a period of time and I'm openly ghosting a physical conversation. I don't really get bothered. Sometimes I'll get people straight up all ready for a role play and then they leave or go to other role plays but in the end, I just don't really care because as an artist I'm happy they are doing their thing and it doesn't really get to me, because, you know their strangers over the internet but I feel like I say this a lot.
I remember when I used to take this personally and I think the resistance or the desperate assurance that it was all my fault can make one go down a rabbit hole. It has very little to do with you and if it does use it as a learning experience. Oh darn, I've had many in my time.

Internet communication isn't really a basis for an emotional connection at all times so I can get the awkwardness.
Sometimes, if my anxiety is out of wack, I revisit how I could have handled the situation better but don't hold onto it that long. 99.9 percent of the time it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with time and distraction. Try not to get so anxious about it. It's the norm these days in the rpn world.


Also, yes, they're very well could have been something you did wrong. I like accepting this scenario if I'm getting anxious too. Like, okay, I've done the worst. But still even then. Time moves forward and you just get into another role play that helps distract the anxiety

your good

 

[Merciless Medic]

Ah, okay! I think it's just low self-esteem making this seem worse to me emotionally than what it should, but it's just seeing that crossed out name in messages saying the other left the conversation just kind of hurts, since I'm used to the message staying up and the people just staying even if the thing has died. It just makes sting more than the later since it makes it seem like you did something wrong, like taking too long to respond due to outside stuff like what's happening to me currently.

I have heard of people leaving conversations to empty their conversation boxes. If they feel like they aren't jamming with the plot or feel like they aren't going to have time or don't want to have a possible conflict with telling why they left and then leaving, they'll leave the conversation. It has nothing to do with you. it's to keep things clean in their conversation mailbox so to speak lol

 

[nerdy tangents]

^^ I also do this when someone hasn’t replied in a month so I can keep track of who is active and who isn’t.