Poetry Dead Poets Society

[ClaveVesari]

Guilt of failed dreams compelled by felled conceit, abrupt leaves for months in veiled company, condemned to solitude in junctions of cells, a tale to dysfunction. Never owing rebuttal, just silent eruptions internally from promises never furthering. Rusted links to trust of those, lose touch because of loss in self, causing words that follow to fall short of hope and over lap in failed approach. Spells composed to shell remorse is yet another fallen ale amongst the lot of hollow virtues, shallow pertinence, drowning the thoughts of certainty, flooding doubt swallows courage mercilessly. Doubt in worth received, doubt is buried deep, doubt allowed worry breach, Doubt, no matter how infuriating, is profound at the roots of a leafless tree sprouted from just a seed, bound to be re-crowned in spring. Evening of doubt, Midnight of malice grieving upon unknown fallacies, knowing only what's desired, but not the challenge becomes a pallet, where peace rests with what's left of faith in trial.


Fin.

 

[ClaveVesari]

I feel illuminated..
Completed
With a sense of incompleteness
Rejuvenated
With a hint of wearying obligation.
Sitting with a keyboard, typing up a storm
Hurricanes over a brain and still feel I'm on vacation.
Crusin over waves, just
Spewing out imagination
To you
To you
To you
I appreciate it.
Doin me a favor
Where would I be
Without viewers
Without observation..
A Naked Nature
A greater duty
To see a limit is to create it.
Thoughts restrain potential in
Dependence on an intuitive visual,
Bigger picture explanation.
The what's inside all of us type "lame" shit.
From timid to a vivid nature
To give people an image of what I'm sayin'
Thinkin' in isolation, to maybe bring insight,
Confidence, a smile or inspiration..
i'll be writing.
waiting
whining
rhyming
righting
wrongs
in me
always
workin'
risin' higher
& higher
above horizon
of what i consider all of life
all i want, all of me..
limits a raisin on sol-lit paper
given vision a gift and not necessary to see a truth that's usually hidden

ultra violent when it comes to this passion's preservation


protect parchment at all cost

and continue searching feelings
to revive righteousness long suppressed.
everyday,

Fin.

 

[boo.]

Gods like foxes


Whiling, beguiling


Control of us


Yet small, and tails between their legs


Teeth like winter


Fur like sandpaper


Control


Control


They dig under this soft skin


Sharp claws ripping, tearing


Little devils, yet with shadows so large


We cower and writhe in magma


Making no attempt to escape


Can't see past their lies


Still they are clear as glass


Fin.

 

[ClaveVesari]

Feelin trapped but


Realized that's a trap.


So I track like maps


through memories


Constantly ending up


Back at the start of problems


Different people, same conscience


Lost in robotic populace


Loved ones or not..


Loved ones or celebration of Narcissists?


To be or not to be honest?


Spare or aim for hearts?


Repress emotion or confess with poetry?


Continue to follow directions or call it oppression?


Continue to place faith in Authority


Or for once


Feel like more than machine


More than means to acquire wealth


Or alleviate consciences dying from the pain of hiding guilt..


More than the sacrifices made to supply the lifestyle I was conditioned to become addicted to


A dwelling responsibility immediately stacked on top twenty other worries


More than American, More than genes, More than...me.


So do I...


Swallow pride

or holler at the top of lungs


"I pledge I am the breath to life in me"..


Continue to force a smile,
avoid animosity


Or
let go of martyr mentality, lest overwork generosity..


Bernard Sanders
to
Bernhardt
of Carthage


Questions,
overtime, turned moot
in concern for my heart's condition

And In light of life lessons,


I now always seek truth


elude abusive empathy,


never refuse a muse in question, the time i give mine to do so



those who wish to be better


see better


spread better

like butter
on bread

On a roll
till I hit rocks
then it's back to roots


owe it to myself, &really nobody else.




..so caught up in who I said I would I be


where I said I would be by 2016..
I forgot to appreciate the simple things


From first person
to narration of mental excursions


Repeats of Pilots
A day in the life of…


Auto flashbacks, b-Lines to the past


Through hyperlinks leading to delightful little raps


Write to keep you linked to content full of sustenance

Food for thought eaten to the seed and planted deep in Moleskine fields

To bring


A little piece


Of my mind,


So that I'm


At peace, but don't worry,


I'm fine, ain't no hurry,

cause I'm high off Life
Back alive, for like the sixth time

Goku apprentice en the rise, en route,


Or at least I’m tryin.

Flowin like wind chi

kame
hame
haahahahahah


..
..humor a moon to oceans of problems


tossin waves of rage in skies my eyes beseech


Leading to progression and its equivalent, flight,


Ascension like Dragons, raising to bring life,


Flames inside contrast against dreams seen,


Seed of belief guarded by iridescent form of might


that reinforces my defense of mind, defense of mine,


Deflectin right above horizons


A defensive spirit, deliverin yet another fifth of lines, only difference this time


Is content in Experience


Carefully chosen words in


Epic design


Skyrim Online


legendary depth of vocabulary wells


To tell of marching triumphantly from darkness


Harvesting collected light


To construct an impenetrable armor, Destined only for wherever I settle in


And I'm not the type set on settlin for settlin


Rose from sediment to petals in wind,


Always meddlin in situations I couldn’t yet comprehend to finally learn to comprehend,


In spite of negative comments given, I Onyx with an offensive-mental,


Rock solid neural composition steadying cross-hair symbols,


Targetin what I author, Neurotic to all I’ve written,


Medal of Honor hung from shields defendin innocence and integrity,


Every inch of effort protected, fourth and seven, blitz with ledger,


Bombardment with heavy messagin, level bridges infested with enemies like Neville,


Deep as Red Pills, yet I feel no pressure, Still like steel in sheathes, mind Nil to feel Nilh,


Purgatory realms conceal defeat and build steps to lead my will to reach beyond prior peaks.


Set on ledges over lower Earth, between hell and the loss of me,


Cost of being the opposeet of optics’


On an island of delirious wanderers roamin,


Where I set up shop, open an Enterprise of reprise,


And administer literature of imagery until I die,


Fulfill my third eye's extensive and over pensive innest-sight,


Deplore Couplets upon couplets by the Second, next to light, under ten-folds of rhymes,


Tinfoil disguise over carbon lines, hidin a diamond resolve.


for four forever's


fin

 

[ClaveVesari]

What's a grudge?


I keep hearin that word.
All I can recall
Is the horror film
But wait..
I don't like those
More a romantic
Ask my intimates
Now hold uh-


Something else's coming..
Others' voices..
So many voices.



In my head
What the fuh-
This ain't my voice.


I know mine.


I know my heart
Love of a Mother's.


My eyes..
The only ones I can use.


A soul raised by what is seen
Dreams and reality only I can react to.


Demons only my mind makes true.


Irises of a Son.
Out my mama's womb



You remember that mama


Remember how you felt



You remember the promises made at that moment, and before..
When you held my head in Palm.
probably kissed me on Crown.


A transfer of life
From You.


Till I'm old and I wonder
alone, Without you and have my own
To lead as you led


To give all
And receive nothing.


Who would I be to expect reconciliation from seed.
the exchange for bringing another into a world pretty much as consumed as ruled by evil


You warned me of evil
The hatred in people
The distance they'll go
To vindicate Ego
Who float above others
Powered by self-esteam


But what's a grudge?


"Don’t they suffer, mommy?
Haven't they had enough?"
"Do they need a hug like you give me?"


No.


Cause trust can be paper thin
Or thicker than the blood that runs under skin


"Do what I say. Now go play with your cousins,"



we only ever know our heart
to keep away from trouble, ourselves and others
And I followed without question,
with intuition, adopted from you.


and Now, trust Is paper thin
a Friend as long as I live..


pencils
pictures
written images
imagination


still kickin it with Mouse
Yea, he chillin, we in the house tryna figure out..what the hell's a grudge..

The same as Love?




Or are they phases of a whole....





A choice to protect self when love fails...


Like I was taught to does, but never followed well


But wait
could it have been innate


You remember then..
a whole life spent being called sensitive..

always been intimate
Always been defensive, try me please


so what's a Grudge?
Who suffered again and over again waiting for people to change, for people to lend an ear


I don't know…
Guess I'm missing the picture


All I know is..
I've always been different.


Fin.

 

[ClaveVesari]

Dust to dust

Ash to Ash.



One to Infinite.



Past to Future.



A single path

Relative to the Present.



A perspective as distant

As stars








no space for difference




or room to forget bigger pictures







motes

to

proteins

skin

cloth

armor

robes



alpha

to

inheritance





one child born king


the other labeled common,

or deviant



one child royal

other dreamer

one child weaker

other apex

one child schemer

other loyal


different fates

same potential


as far as if's go

as far as we allow

bare minimum to bear bare extremities.


species in conundrums, but

possess Wisdom as infinite

as stars' glisten



From

Instinctual Hate

To

Remedial Peace

To right back to hate. Hey again.



Unconditional Forgiveness.



Deliberate Hostile Intentions.



50 hues of Humans



Paint grandest depiction

Of

legacy,

Ours.


Our decision

To think and therefore be



And therefore

Dream.


Inevitably.



A mind begins

in

A World begun.


Where..

Wonder is Extraordinary

And Ordinary Learned


Growth stunt of Love

Cause the odds to stack

High above the will of Courage

In a

Land of Skyscrapers

Courts and Corporations.



Where..

Faith's Promoted

But, "hey not your own, kid".



Ambition limited to resources and who you know

Or

by How far you're willing to let You go.



Close eyes

Breathe and

Just let go.



Let go of Deliberation.


Liberal Arts fading

Deliberate de-liberation in a society lazy

Only praise to console innovation

in accordance with

what we want, and not need.



thieves at the top stab hands just tryna eat.



Submissive wages, just enough To keep you chasin

a Submissive age of vigil Wake.

control a pinnacle, cloaked by ominous clouds

A shroud around the 1 percentage

And

Excuses no one but they can use.



Only they see what is unseen.


Abuse of abuse of authority, like damn..chill out..

Label printer broken


Men this

Women that


Gay as wrong

Islam as Hate

Depression weakness

Survival a competition


"Please get fitter" "oh, no, wait, simmer down"


"Please,

Stop petitions, stop protesting"



"The problems with the world are yours and

You can fix it, but do keep to a whisper

People tryna sleep

People tryna sheep"



Guess following is easier.


And


protection of blank complexion and material belongings more important than if the water clean



wealth accumulated seems to ease the guilt

of a truth inside, that whispers for help


virtuous behavior vestigial



now a charade,

an initiation to join the rank's

Of the fake and frivolous


That pass judgement

like condiments

Ignoring their own position,

privilege

nah, don't worry bout the history

you're better than



"Here, come get this Glory.

you Hero, you.

Everyone else just forgot their role."



An assembly Line to Wealth and Heaven

Made from sweat, blood, souls and breath of the "lesser"



Success Misrepresented by Power.

And power mis-credited as respect.



All these words,

so many words..


nobody heard unless viral


Damn..

I Guess I'm cryin Wolf to Wolves


Guess I need to move along

Avoid the truth

A void of you

A void of me seeking proof

to prove anything matters



'cause red flags raise

to truth, that I'm

forced to pledge allegiance,

"hush",

under keen surveillance

progressive muses chained and whipped.





Learn from Now

or Heed signs sublime to fear in eyes;

a feeling, vibe, to check and balance wrong and right, fair and not fair, fair skinned and melanin

No matter what was taught, question every nook and cranny.

torn between choices. moral...fortune? character or caricature? Truth or just enough to make do? hmmmmmm.... mhmyep. I'll take sellouts for four hundred, alex.



what are

narcissists in mid-life crisis


what is

loss of Identity


nooooo, Don’t learn from self.


Learn from crowds.



Define the Self

Define the Crowd



Become one

or the other.


Succumb to pressures of perfection,

Or reinforce effort to accrue progression

Either able to be tainted.



blatant ignorance or inflated wisdom/ego

all the same intention of stimulating fulfillment.

perpetuate intimidation

rehearse pretentious nature;

all out of fear of complacency.


find inanity a replacement quick,

it's

for the better.


Learn and Live.


Live to Learn;

Learn to Live well.


Appease impulsive drivers to test limits with excessive courage

playing roulette with Consequence.


barrel smoke exhausts from holes in temple,

vrbada's kin




impossible to know to hope for positive, to know positive, If wisdom to ain't there,

Until problems become apparent and are solved

can one then Critique the effect of choice - through time.



To realize that

time alone, won't tell



desire inside is paradigm to change.



Damn, Trey...


go deeper.

damn clave, I see you preachin


Okay, okay, feelin like Greek thinkers.



a sinking feeling;

A Realization;

time is Language;

Collage of Ages of Paintings of All of Earth



Of People Fighting,



People Uniting.



Massacres

To

Passion everywhere

Then back to Irrational

Then Mass Just Desserts of the Masses

Then

Justice deserts the reason why it was crafted,

and changed to service asses.



Human Kindness, Human Hatred.



Potential for Violence no greater than Grace's.

Wisdom refined by Continuation

Conditions to survive, to Coincide

The desire to always strive For better.



since rise of Civilization

Of Rebellion,

Of Emancipation.


Of minds Of Generations;

The Life of Life.



A singular line

through distinguishable eyes



Inter-woven waves of light braid Kinds similar.


Together to spread light like Feathers of shared flight

to Shed on those Under, like rays of summer sun

Hails like rain pelts.


Inspires pain felt to refrain refrains

And brain to study fine lines like Violinists

And Painters.

All eyes focused on insides.

To show

Experience is vital

To feel hatred, feel vile

To feeling Blank

Undeserving of anything.

To being in love

To fight for peace of mind

And keep a smile

To conquer denial

Slay doubt

And

Know what it's like to Stand back up.



Fin. Godt Damn

 

[ClaveVesari]

 

[ClaveVesari]

Dust to dust, Ash to Ash.
Celestial to Sentience
Masses of Vigor
To Passion and Breath.


Individual in Assembly, 
But only whole once we
Assemble.



View difference as indifferent to Love


Unconditionally. 



Accept wisdom isn't just worth more than Silver and Gold
But is Greater than itself 
Cause we'll never know all it holds
Has to tell or has told
More than what we think is Love
Every Day we see and Every night we sleep.
Peaks of depression or spikes
Ephemeral cycles of blessed and completely fucked.
Another day to learn or drone till Dusk 
Up at Dawn, blackening lungs
Spillin blood, my own, on shields
What remains of hope to sustain such
Cleanse the soul 
Heal as much as possible
Before the next War
Before the end of what's really important. 



Preach out to people.



Reach out to people.


Feel up to feelin up to revivin killed genius when revealing knicks and cuts.



No such Perfection as that of Selective trust. 



Endeavoring Cycles of love or loss of self
No "which" is worse


Just assistance in restoring balance


Attention fixed on
A History unearthed 
Held in Wells of Gravity
Pools of Chemicals
That Pull on Possibilities 
Dwelling in Absentia of view 
Behind Superficial injuries via truth
Tales spawn as tails of Galactic roots withheld inside, in tune with time
Where life roosts, raised by Laws of Nature
To reach the fruit made from knowledge
And digest to wisdom. 
  
Life from Stars
To Light 
To Palms 
To Light To Eyes.
 
A Mind Begins. 
A World Begun.
 
Of Language.
Culture.
Ethic.   
Pain.
Pleasure. 


Aggression.


Emotion.
Judgment 
Logic. 
Law. 


Corruption. 



A Bridge of topics


Made from Nuances
Distinct to philosophy 


A distance closed by talking
Enough to recognize the many possibilities


Alternate realities
Extinct of problems 


To focus on
Science
Stoicism 
Technology and Art 
Into an Arc of Experiences


To drive home a point not often obvious. 


So
Here Begins the Tale.



Nearer to the End.



The Fate of Lives Begun.



One and Infinite..
Not so Different.


Fin. 

 

[ClaveVesari]

I worry what end will come,
where I'll be
if I'll even be
if the world'll be


what if just my world comes down
what if I go off
on everybody, drift to indifference
drown in depths comfortable
but distorted to which direction lies end goal and origin


What if I end up lost with a will to never be found
will I end up in love, stuck to someone selfish,
Be selfish myself and depend on that person so much that it hurts,
Who can't help it, or help me help them so that they can help me,


Or even want to be helped,


I wonder what I'll learn and accept just to move on


All I'll leave behind through struggle and growth


Will I forever be alone... surrounded by repetitive metronomes
That cause me to doze in and out of future home,
will I even have a home,
end up broke..
With too much pride to ask for help..
lethargic to other options,


In an alleyway given up, below in hell, depressed about falls instead of compelled to help in any way, no matter how small..


Will I again find the drive by the time I die, or go undecided, Or will I find it and switch sides in spite of wisdom to avoid power-traps, where cowards trip, Will I have lived, have died living or never know what it's like to fulfill deepest desires, turn bitter from feeling self-entitled, never admittin' aim was much higher than what I could ever transpire to be...forget to appreciate the magnitude of past creations or potential in simply tryin', simply doin, misdirect anger toward a World I admire more than myself at most times..


Will I uphold the sole purpose of trollin lines that bold thin lines bordering wrong and right,


Will I ever decipher what my subconscious siphons,


Will I have done enough to inspire, wrote enough to open eyes after I can't open mine


Will I have stayed up late enough on late nights

or say
"I'm tired, man fuck it," one too many times,


Kanye shruggin' better judgment, lyin' on bed, on top of covers and age for nothing, dyin' a little while my eyes rest, arrested to sleep, apparently a cousin to the deceased, but would I be wrong to refresh? To keep from losing finesse, focus and ahh, forget it, Will I..this, Will I that, too many soliloquies and not enough acts, too many enemies in myself and not enough stomach to swallow all of the facts..


Still..


Will the time I was blessed with be enough to answer questions and convert them into a language made mainly empathetic and then speak to bring a chain of sense, breaking links predating it,


Strangely Charming waves invade sensations, top to bottom, revealing more ups than downs,


Positive charges replacing discrimination with discretion barred in by hidden will to be lazy.


A sudden altercation of others' ways of thinking,


A subtle manipulation of their egos to see people as equals,


A slumbering change in perception, awakening every second,


Becoming Cumberbatch and Free men toward their steps in progression,


Ensuring methods dictate the ethics and is never pressured by patience or competition,


Will I advocate bliss exists in a will to advocate bliss and is within every day we strive to see better, be better and understand better


Which is effort toward improving relations,


Relations with self, relations with everyone else, relations with problems of the world, relations with relatin', relaying relations with fundamental purpose to relate reasoning on whether we Help or Hurt,


Which is which, firstly, to urge our very next urge,


Which is which when inversely reversed and we can't see cause we hurt,


Become selfish to help us stand back up and forget to turn back on the selfless.


When we forget we exist in a universe obverse from our first world and worth is more than status or gold,


Worth is assisting, directly or through preparation, to reach a higher goal that continues climbing the more we do,


Which will work in the long run, give that burst, second wind for the thirst..


I wonder


will I keep my Prefontaine premonition or
live a rerun of trying to become something I thought was me
all because of a hype side supplying supplements to substitute confidence,
but when the real reveals in lightning strikes, all I see is emotions in support of hollow purpose

insignificance follows

thoughts overwhelm and change me humble,
forgetting what caused the disruption and topic before it..to avoid dwelling
to avoid yelling, to avoid developing more hatred for myself
to avoid being void of motive..
a conscience disturbed, failing to ever utter what I'm really thinkin',
a constant feeling that there's something deeper,
afeeling when adrenaline rushes
from passion being touched
in an unprofessional fashion

a construct of indestructible function to ravage everything not love

as expectation is only ever a guess, empty until filled..
as is life is a chance to escape oblivion

 

[Ticci Toby Rogers]

They say know your enemies


Better then your friends


But when your corner's empty


Come the battles end


And you've nothing left to stand for


Save some memories long past


When you finally let the tears pour


And you know you will not last


His arms are wide and waiting


Though a weapon's in his hand


Your thoughts and mind are racing


Just to find the strength to stand


The world that he will take you from


Has long lost it's lustre


His humble arms beckon, "Come."


And cause your heart to fluster


Your weary eyes meet his own


Cold, and dark with sorrow


And from this point on you know


You will not see tomorrow  


His weapon is upon you now


The blade is cold as ice


Still he greats you with a humble bow


As the life leaves your eyes


He takes you in his arms


You are weightless to him


Your eyes widen in alarm


As you take the whole scene in


Death places a hand upon your face


And helps you to your feet


Then he leads you off to your new place


To live in eternal peace


They say know your enemies


Better then your friends


But when your corner's empty


Come the battles end


And you've nothing left to stand for


Save some memories long past


When you finally let the tears pour


And you know you will not last


His arms are wide and waiting


Though a weapon's in his hand


Your thoughts and mind are racing


Just to find the strength to stand


The world that he will take you from


Has long lost it's lustre


His humble arms beckon, "Come."


And cause your heart to fluster


Your weary eyes meet his own


Cold, and dark with sorrow


And from this point on you know


You will not see tomorrow  


His weapon is upon you now


The blade is cold as ice


Still he greats you with a humble bow


As the life leaves your eyes


He takes you in his arms


You are weightless to him


Your eyes widen in alarm


As you take the whole scene in


Death places a hand upon your face


And helps you to your feet


Then he leads you off to your new place


To live in eternal peace

 

[ClaveVesari]

In eternal peace
forever

in a world made by me

as long as I know words

as long as I know myself

how to process emotions

and where to go
to see my mama

pick up some body armor
made from love;
A conscious based off love.

but I'm still lost
still on detours

I took,
thinking that they would be shortcuts

and any problems were mine alone to overcome
and I was strong enough to ward off demons that it turns out I was led by to find a replacement for behavior, an Excuse for the tendacies I have to slip past sanity into creative rage, deny hands trying to pry me from temptation to write, feel, or breathe the way I do..

..to seek such approval in the first place felt degrading, like I was betraying me
and to just see hypocrisy in the end
definitely raised questions about life and why I should even try for one more second, standby and wait for more than likely just more lies,
all the lives I've effected not knowing what I've caused because I followed people who lust control when i should have spoken up
back when mind was vulnerable
yet reassured it held insight that would make the future as kind as far as eyes can see by people who prolly followed blindly as I was trained to do


now, regret's the deepest source of pain, I cover up instead of addressing cause it's easier than wasting effort climbing slippery slopes up Mt. Woe held by chain effects of a meadow's-full of butterfly wing flutters, chrono-triggers deep in subconscious that switch on motive, wake up dormant portions of chromosomes where hunger from when I was younger still rumbles

shaken by reality for a moment,
an inevitable point reached in every life

that's if we're lucky, though

a bittersweet discovery


all about the way we deal with existence
and What we learned through misery
about ourselves,
How we readjust during transitions of trust and who was there everytime that circle shrunk

from crippling doubt
to a train direction deduction through obstacles, like okay, fuck it
I'll put in the work to waste effort fighting 'gainst the current,
adapt
and recharge
via pressure and irony,
repeat in head,
life won't beat me,
only death can..


I..
wont give up identity
only..rue in
what's left of..


wade in regret
until life is gone,
never catching on to
cycle of judgment and setting expectations
self infliction

eager. naive. wondering mind

wandering through youth
into adult through woods
under
street lights
t
hrough looking lenses
of creative vision
to a world hidden
from normies

where I'm the norm king;
as cool as I want to be

no one else
only me...

maybe not one day..

cause right now, maybe sounds a lot better than definite

writing sounds a lot better than wiping tears,
than yells and screams inside..

than being quiet.


so I'm
back like the last
time, but never for the last time.

fin.

 

[ClaveVesari]

strawberry shortcake



red swirls spin and hypnotize

set off urge to remember first times

first ride on bicycles, first dive in pools
first time swimming, first adventure
first time outside past orange lit evening streets
first look out of eyes at sun arriving skies, taking in I'm taking in and I'm alive

right then

to take in the magic that in an instant strikes desires
unlocks unrefined potential

inspires purpose to muster courage via pride in duty to drive home curiosity through dark unknowns, dim lit limits we determine, overshadowed by doubt and worry

traversing rabbit holes without any..



down

and

down

and

down


mind entranced by

magenta swirls

leading to where it leads
just dessert for mood













strawberry shortcake.

fin.

 

[ClaveVesari]

a phenomenon, at first, foreign
like everything,

now like Autumn

spirit in free fall freedom

thru mist
to fog

softest-intensest recall of existence

Nostalgic Nirvana

of a past mine,
and not mine too

an event among events infinite

the most beautiful of all them, though
to a human, humble
wearing clothes threaded
By summation of tales

murals worn
of someone's life
1:1

all in time, all in all,
all becomes original..

orchids of nuances.

sum of sums
of
Cogito Ergo Sum.

I reminisce, fantasize, dream about tomorrow therefore become the tense I fall on to block out sorrow
firm believer in whatever becomes of philosophic neural-wiring
I
flow with currents in search of equilibrium

in self


rally reality with thought and question,
Raleigh, Sherman, Raleigh;
Intellectual pursuit to understand;
that's via conversation, or reflection;
of self, of people;
that's with intent to check and balance;
that's with a right,
that's with a left,
Until truth beckons out of hiding;
undying will in eyes always open to a mind unceasing;
depth of descent depends on concern for morality, not a collective, but a single intention determines which directions at every wedge in life

The space between was just time to think, time to plant and feed

seeds of questions asked in acquest to grow

what is purpose
what is soul
what has been and what's to come
where to lead, where to follow

what is self
what makes a collection of cells, set on survival and reproduction,

desire identity, or proof to support proof of existence

to be admired

to inspire

feel inspired
feel love
show honor
be credible
show or be
shown sympathy

nothing ever simple
intelligence never meant to be

to be a gift, as

never is a gift a gift without appreciation

mine's to be unimpressive if impressive is the best I can do.



Just one more embryo
one more indie story.

placental elixir soon to perceive and express in any way possible, to detect others just as reflexive, just as reflective...

just one more misadventure

In a world of either misfits
or pretenders, in denial.

love-sent child
hate-filled and spiteful 'cause I was
ripped from an umbilical covet

Of

a matriarchal temple
Where bore,
to her,
More than Seed
More than seen

qualities only love can see

a love
that would raise a gentle being,

still..
just replicated cells.
collective of memories.
with a name tag slapped across it


unity of cell division
to a perfection in how
a heart forms;
an art form of carbon lost to material obsession, serial-attempts to define us
by what we earn instead of what we do,
can do.
how much we can fake it, lie, sway truth,
bottle conscience

battling bitter tendencies
From built up tension
Unaddressed issues;
Haunting consequences
That cause anxiety..



and anxiety only invites more.



Sealed off areas of mental under quarantine,

to protect the rest of body
from a darkening misery
charred prints on face
fingers pressed against lips zipped
marred silence, scarred smiles
Genuine signs of what I hate to see in me
in people I try to impress, or idolize
To see me as a man
perceive me as a being worth the time lived
free of labels
or expectations.

Soft souls sync.

everyone waits
anticipates the worst, everyone..

and instead of being thankful by only being thank full,
find meaning in being..



being able to see the seen
put into memory, or dreams; building blocks of future we influence; the makings of a change via word or silence; choice defines us.

being able to think
the things we've thunk
to wake up
in the mornin' and continue onward..
intricate in too many ways to speak or dwell on
simply necessary for us to express what's on our chest

relate or reject
challenge limits knowing
together is apex..

truth priority
to maintain the proof of progress

relieve stress by questioning beliefs
query existence
carry weight and become use to the pressure

subliminal objective of depression is to overcome feeling less

Whatever it takes

the ability to believe, alone, is sufficient to proceed to grow
achieve happiness


from bacteria to courts and corporations
because something kept the chain going
had dreams we, too, do;
rock and gravel to telescopes
planes to rockets,
space stations..

future due to hope and promise
action and accomplishment
thru art, discipline of mind and body
developing science & medicine


still
all evidence of persistence.
generations of effort
to see better, be better, spread better like butter, break bread with brethren

collective intentions,
thru time

of genes, of society
the whole unlocks prosperity


another start only requires such


An initial breath to bring
an array of moments
for then, or for later
Tradition of Sentience.


fin.​

 

[ClaveVesari]

Looking up to smoothest skies


Thinking of renewing what I've done


How to make it right, right up


Upright, I walk amongst the light


Touching all the lives I've neglected


In the past, return to what I've


Passed and take the wrongs back


Use my arms to reattach through


My words, open the latch inside


Break free from behind, start


Walking forward, widen lines to


Try and pay the fines I've received


Tell the ones who I fell silent to


Just believe, please and thank you


We can become what we use to


Be, more than then too, stay true


Never will I delay, mute, I promise


Gotta long list to accomplish


Aiming in the distance, launchin'


No more being cautious, or


Forgettin' where I've walked from


If you need a little help, listen


I'm callin', pay attention and the


Cost is free, no charges, no more


Disregarding, Movin' from apart


To apartments, I'm right next door


This is my word, from down deep


In store, explored, sorry I ignored


In the years now lore, wisdom


Grown forth, I'm learned, so sore


Took a lotta pain, but I made it


Out, through the rain, through the


Storm, Out of darkest nights


Right into the Morn', starin' at the


Dawn, waitin' all the while for


Those memories to now take me


away to times I could soar.


Fin.

 

[ClaveVesari]

I try, I write, my thoughts in flight go by


Passing me, flaws avidly clash in me


Against teeth, now weak I plead, “more time”,


My passion flees, absent mind, blackened sheets,


Absorbing the light I seek, Sink like wells


To think is hell, judgment clouded thick,


No amount of wit, enemy to myself,


Brain on the tip, from the pen empty drips,


Silence sets within, violence in soul,


Battle locks, shackles talk and laugh to taunt


And it haunts then burns, heart of hearth and coal


Now it’s cold. Where to go? I know it not.


But just before the light fades, my eyes wake


Alas, to a path faithful traction paved.


Fin.

 

[ClaveVesari]

All regrets of my past


Hinder decisions I make today,


What used to be conflictions then


faded in tension,


Seeming simpler with every step


Goals I made, erased, as well as career chased.


Ones I talked to daily


Slowly erode to jaded relations, becoming memories of a haven

I visit occasionally,


I blackened into grey areas,


A shadow against the background
Of a stage, where a play takes place, called Success


Where everyone I know graduates in express


From the University of Life, tassels swinging to the left.


Hardly a home anymore.


Kind of hell to be here all alone.


More so with no where to go.


So I turn to stone in the moonlight,


Still all alone, of my own accord.


Reflecting as that above, mirror whims


In my dome, facing one another,


Where everyone I know and moments spent with them turns to a collage


Of my life, so sweet, so perfect, but abolished in reality
And it's my fault, all mine,
I stabbed communication and left it to die.


I stopped all replies, I stopped caring, i stopped trying,


But also stopped crying.


stopped wondering why and started finding answers


Started staring instead of glancing


started applying like resumes,
And stopped the strain of being a failure by resurrecting passion.


You can't stop time though,


So I only watch it pass by in hopes,


In denial of its change,


watch it every hour,
I cower every second stressing 'bout the next one,


lost in tick's song, in the zone every minute I contest being finished or am tested to not settle for nothing less than...... less than. Well how's that measured? effort, sacrifice and weight of pressured divided by anger and anxiety;


To continue sets the rhythm of a flame that flickers


In My mind,


And I dance with,
to songs composed by us,


dine gourmet on what body breathes in


feel lungs fill; a reminder of Hope to overcome.


I watch the past in overcast


And write it down on pads,


So I don't forget..again,
So I can bring back the happiness trapped there,
When I didn't know I didn't know and didn't understand what I didn't see clear.



I write because it's what got me here, got me where I feared I'd always be,


Where I appeared to fall and never rose to dusked dreams,


I leapt from safe grounds


Toward a higher cliff,


But I missed, but I think didn't,


I just think I haven't finished


Reaching in distant oblivion,


But now I'm here.... beginnin' again.


Using fallen pieces of papered passion


To create more literature and generate action to make a difference;


A Forever passing forever.
A pact-smith to practice what I wish to see enacted.


Fin.

 

[ClaveVesari]

And at the sight of purity in eyes of every beholder


Realization of relativity incites respect for every point of view.


But those blind, vision focused inside, become furious


Turning and twisting in angles


A necessary, but excruciating isentropic process


Between Ego and Integrity


Lest they remain in static-plane state


In an Oblivion of Self.


Outer influence


Bending back Right


The light that burns through Form to Identify with warmth


A wool blanketed wind from blue sky muses


That cry out for Beauty


Despite the Cynical, Conical Ice


Keeping Cold the Fruit of Life.

 

[ClaveVesari]

Savant of Savoring.


Expert at Escaping


From the Exo


Portraying daily revelations


In Ecto-poems. Muse a Coliseum


Where thoughts race in competition


With the Unknown and what is missing


Holding metaphysical lectures in myself


Face to face. Neck and neck.


Head to Toe i search for self respect


I


Face rage inside to resurrect


A side lost to pride


And high expectations.


In Existential Ecstasy of Stoicism


Where..


Expression of Soul releases hurt


In Lingual Reign


That Always Rise, as per the rite of heat


Down my neck, spine, where erect Phoenix's wings


Out of reach from depression


Sometimes I feel like life's a blessing


Then sometimes all I do is Question.


Escape to Another World


I hide up under Dreams


To


A peak of flight to freedom


Bare plains of blank states and white scape.


Wiped slates, Fresh start, New Days


Does Enlightenment keep the fight alive


But also decays the light of life


Fires in Eyes feed off Pain derived of Wisdom


To decorate with paint of the mind


Explain my side, How I see life


If I so choose to


The beauty is I decide.


So


With the light of silver linings.


I reveal belief there's a reason why


We feel the way we do


When what's inside wants to Write.


To a rhythm that weeps in Silence, to illicit being Silent.


An Art of Emotion in Writing, between thinning lines


Of Paper


Printed Dreams to even out insanity


And forever Fly.


Fin.

 

[ClaveVesari]

I'm done now
Put the pen down.

Nothing more to say
No reason to stay 'round

Nothing more, the truth
Lies mute.
No time behind to redo

No sense to stay
None since yesterdays.
To try and cleanse
With words.
They can't take this weight
With them.

No sense to have hate
No sense to mask pain..
Just to feel happy
Then okay..
For an hour or two
And still be mad later.
Or feel on track
For years and still look back
With refusal.

I Speak my mind
And
At the same time
I fill with silence

I speak my mind
And
Hear how blind I've been.

No matter what
I still feel the same.

I look for guidance.
I search inside me.

Never find me.

I work tirelessly.

Change five times a day.

Strain over the tides' change.

Pride that feels shame.

No matter how many pages
I still feel crazy
death's breaths down neck of anxieties'
forcing appreciation for life and all pertaining to its whole
'cause no matter how much I write,
I know I won't ever feel complete


so I write to feel...


write to share experience
to delete and try again
improve, experiment,
seeking a truer original to express
thoughts and self clearer,
right in front of, on paper,
like reflection in mirrors,
like reflective periods under moon
or tree shade, pensive as nature is relentless



Fin.

 

[ClaveVesari]

I fall back.




I fall off.





Not sure what to do..

how to respond.




Just...

eager to prove wrong.






Just..

anxious to move on,


pick up head..




I want so bad to give up
want so good to keep goin
I want to live free
and I want to live up
to standards I set

I know I desire too much..


I know desire too well
to believe i wont ever not want more ;


more alone time
more space
more work with words
more missing intimates
more requirements to feel inspired
more perfect writings, more deserving psyche




easier to
blank out



fade away to white plains
rise
fly to
Islands
in skies

wade in clouds'
reign with breath stiffened in times of fear

to do as I please
I'm..
free from crowds,
from being crowded
a shroud
now around temple
a crown without the shimmer
an heirloom to be earned
not simply given

A truth realized in pieces;
truth is never completed.

a point in journey to peace that seems sound
and not so temporary as moments fore

the point when we're
Indifferent to surrender.

Indifferent to drama.

Indifferent to difficult.

A consistent sense to defend sentiment toward anything
people or
inanimate
to never lose interest in defining all in sight, all in mind
all paths crossed, walked down
choices made, stay in charge of ego
remain proud of Identity as a dreamer
allow doubt in ability to believe, but persist anyhow



I'll always be emotion-ful

gettin' emotional
just talkin 'bout emotions
to be able to express
emotions
used to thread memories..


sentient seams bind over time
to mend purpose in existence

silver stitches ;
hemmed labyrinth of deliberation
that alter me to
to you
..to me



a






bird's eye view
to guide purpose
revise prose
test truths against mind's own..

..aware of where I stand
but forgot where I wanted to


long ago..when everything new was everything

nothing more out of reach than
freedom from seeking what was

truth.

 

[Tarmagon]

I am,
The razor that opens your veins.

I am,
The hammer that crushes your soul.

I am,
The anvil where your dreams are shattered.

I am,
The black hole that swallows your dreams.

I am,
The destroyer of hope.

I am,
The slayer of love.

I am,
The death of diplomacy.

I am,
The ultimate annihilator.

I am,
Truth.

 

[ClaveVesari]

truth too acute





"am I ready?",






so many forms to choose from long before the tools to discern were given, even longer before tools were self efficient

just a young, dumb
impressionable, eager one

full of questions
full of trust
wide eyed and smitten to truth..

wide mind, that's glow illuminated by wonder expands to emanate, eliminate unknowns, feel comfortable in presence of fear..

fear of ignorance
fear of losing way
wasting time
chasing empty 'cause I'm antsy
go after 'cause intuition is backward
because fear of death..fear of the unfinished..
of never explaining myself, fulfilling potential

but the more truth received,
the more planned for, turns out deceiving
turns out to be no reason for anything previously believed, square one, one sqaured, same results, a testament of resilience and that's about it..

is it mine alone?
can't be..
rhetorical question.

must be bigger
must be one of these triggers in existential thought process
must be something that guarantees, something absolute, truth is sure to prove..

truth..





whose?





philosophy or
science

the world around
or the one inside...





what helps and what hurts?
what is right, what is wrong?

where to start?
has it started?
will it finish?

the forest..



or each tree?

chicken or egg,
oranges and apples..

barely a breach of depths and pressure feels as if
it wants to break spirit

on horror's edge, about to jump
no longer afraid..



one last breath before I dive down vertical corridor of truth
anticipating more than before,

always..


truth,
a taker and giver
relative to time, place, and the individual


fin

 

[Tarmagon]

I am,
Eternal, and Ephemeral.

I am,
Selfish, and Selfless.

I am,
Tender, and Callous.

I am,
Merciless, and Kind.

I am,
Narcissistic, and Unselfish.

I am,
Misery, and Ecstasy.

I am,
All, and Nothing.

I am,
Death, and Life.

I am,
Love.

 

[ClaveVesari]

love
in full cycle



turns the world










inertia of purpose










fate of circles






flower of life blossoms grateful



trajectory of society
of mindsets..
not stuck.
but determined.


belief it means something to achieve circumference,

an often redundant process.


still,
none of tales, tell the same
nor was it meant to;

nobody Meant to do more than any other,


nobody not birthed..



magnificent system of contingency;


greatest world war, so to speak, fought to nurture an imbalance faced in nature..




long before words


long before graves..





long before.








I
do the best possible
to subside returning waves of chaos;

fear that only stretches so far
until all that's left..
is no other options.





none fittest,
survived independent
none alive,
did so overnight

always been a merge of effort to outrun darkening winds
outrun the sunset


prepare for night

prepare to
protect the pack,
the pact of tribe
the youth
a future..

that every tombstone stands in dedication to,
a reminder..

mortality readily awaits to prove credibility,
but builds collective of dreams and progress
once shaping minds & spirits
a world to be passed down
a journey to continue..of opportunities taken
with open mind
in search of which direction is next..


force of blood coursing
a source for warmth

sensations that bypass systems of senses

that scatter in dark winds' that continue to whip and howl
ominous chills rush nerves..

causin arms to hold self tighter,
embracing a body battling time
knowing the peace sought lies somewhere along its line

..as awaits pain in bundles of bundled up emotion...


i
shove passion,
to awakening stimuli
that call to me in my sleep

telling me to try..

just
one more adventure
through head, through webs, briars, vines, low branches, marshes, mud, red clay, humidity, heat

fresh air that ignites in murals of imagination
throughout a life with cylinders' fire in eyes,
burning off love for
wanting do the right thing
but more important, to know why.






fin

 

[Tarmagon]

I am,
Birth.

I am,
Growth.

I am,
Loss.

I am,
Learning.

I am,
Change.

I am,
Inflicted.

I am,
Felt.

I am,
Survived.

I am,
Death.

I am...
Pain.