Advice/Help Critique my 1x1 request

[Quincunx]

Hey all,

I'm now asking for partners (through a status update, simple like that), so this thread is closed for discussion. Thank you to those who have commented.

I have an idea for a 1x1, but I'm not sure how to market it. (There isn't an official thread for it on RPN, so I believe it's within the rules to ask for advice on it here.) Please read through the "blurb" I have in the spoiler and tell me how to remove cliches and fluff, get the plot description as exciting as I can, and make my OOC expectations clearer.

Spoiler: 1x1 Request

New Moon​

A new millennium was supposed to come, one that shined like silver. A millennium of peace, protected by girls whose magic could transform them into Sailor Soldiers. What we didn't know about that millennium is that before it could come, there would be an era marred by destruction. That age began in the far future, when the last of the Sailor Soldiers disappeared and there was nobody to protect Earth. When a lonely and power-hungry queen named Ceruss came to the planet from a faraway kingdom, Earth was ravaged by natural disasters, and lava, wind, and waves left cities in ruins.

Fifty years later, a landscape of steel, tech, and junk has emerged from the rubble, at least in Tokyo. It's run by magical gangs, tech worshipers, and ultimately Queen Ceruss, the ruler of her newly-shaped world. Yet, people can live in it, and if they search, they can find friendship and hope.

One day, two friends rescue a stray cat, who opens her mouth and explains to them that they're reincarnations of the magical girls. The two are called Sailor Soldiers, and they have the power to protect and heal the planet. There are two more of them, plus a princess whose power is said to match Queen Ceruss's.

The four Sailor Soldiers must learn to work together, bring peace to this new Tokyo, search for the Princess, and eventually, confront Queen Ceruss. Will they find a way back? A way forward? And at what cost?


This idea is a fusion of Sailor Moon and a post-apocalyptic futuristic world. It's grittier than the 90s Sailor Moon anime was, although it's not grimdark. Our characters would be fighting evil by moonlight, living post-apocalyptic life by daylight.

The two of us would double, each playing two OC versions of the Sailor Soldiers. As for posting speed, I would reply once or twice a week. I'd type two to four paragraphs in my replies, and would like a similar detail level from you. Finally, if we play this together, I'd love if we could chat OOC and maybe become friends.

If you're interested in playing, please PM me! Thanks for reading this!

inb4 "your idea is too niche and puts together things that are too different"

 

[AbsurdNerd]

Hey all,

I have an idea for a 1x1, but I'm not sure how to market it. (There isn't an official thread for it on RPN, so I believe it's within the rules to ask for advice on it here.) Please read through the "blurb" I have in the spoiler and tell me how to remove cliches and fluff, get the plot description as exciting as I can, and make my OOC expectations clearer.

Spoiler: 1x1 Request

New Moon​

A new millennium was supposed to come, one that shined like silver. A millennium of peace, protected by girls whose magic could transform them into Sailor Soldiers. What we didn't know about that millennium is that before it could come, there would be an era marred by destruction. That age began in the far future, when the last of the Sailor Soldiers disappeared and there was nobody to protect Earth. When a lonely and power-hungry queen named Ceruss came to the planet from a faraway kingdom, Earth was ravaged by natural disasters, and lava, wind, and waves left cities in ruins.

Fifty years later, a landscape of steel, tech, and junk has emerged from the rubble, at least in Tokyo. It's run by magical gangs, tech worshipers, and ultimately Queen Ceruss, the ruler of her newly-shaped world. Yet, people can live in it, and if they search, they can find friendship and hope.

One day, two friends rescue a stray cat, who opens her mouth and explains to them that they're reincarnations of the magical girls. The two are called Sailor Soldiers, and they have the power to protect and heal the planet. There are two more of them, plus a princess whose power is said to match Queen Ceruss's.

The four Sailor Soldiers must learn to work together, bring peace to this new Tokyo, search for the Princess, and eventually, confront Queen Ceruss. Will they find a way back? A way forward? And at what cost?


This idea is a fusion of Sailor Moon and a post-apocalyptic futuristic world. It's grittier than the 90s Sailor Moon anime was, although it's not grimdark. Our characters would be fighting evil by moonlight, living post-apocalyptic life by daylight.

The two of us would double, each playing two OC versions of the Sailor Soldiers. As for posting speed, I would reply once or twice a week. I'd type two to four paragraphs in my replies, and would like a similar detail level from you. Finally, if we play this together, I'd love if we could chat OOC and maybe become friends.

If you're interested in playing, please PM me! Thanks for reading this!

inb4 "your idea is too niche and puts together things that are too different"

Your idea is too nich-
I don't have much to say about it. It doesn't seem to be in my interest but from a critical standpoint seems fine. Sorry for the lack of words in my "critique" but I can't really find much that I don't think is fine.

 

[Bacon is fluffy]

So madoka themes and sailor moon? I'd give being a cute waifu a chance if it wasn't a 1 x 1. I think the only issue is a lot of the anime fans on this site are uncultured and don't appreciate anything older than six months. It's all about boku no hero academia and whatever's hot right now. Which isn't a problem so long as you're not trying to garner interest based nostalgia. xD

 

[Quincunx]

So madoka themes and sailor moon? I'd give being a cute waifu a chance if it wasn't a 1 x 1. I think the only issue is a lot of the anime fans on this site are uncultured and don't appreciate anything older than six months. It's all about boku no hero academia and whatever's hot right now. Which isn't a problem so long as you're not trying to garner interest based nostalgia. xD

Actually, I didn't intend for it to have Madoka vibes at all. In New Moon, being a Sailor Soldier is a fundamentally good thing, and the main characters are the good guys. It's not like Madoka where being a magical girl means moral grayness and suffering. Could you please point out where you read the Madoka themes, so I can edit that into something more fitting?

I mean, if I could somehow play it collaboratively without taking on a full GM role (a 1x1x1x1, perhaps?), I would. But not a lot of people have faith in GMless roleplays, and I don't blame them.

I'm considering running it on a different site I frequent as well as this one. Different communities can mean different dominant tastes.

Yeah, I'm not looking for nostalgia-based interest. This is fairly different from Sailor Moon proper. I also don't think there's a huge amount of overlap between people who like gritty post-apocalyptic settings and people who like magical girls, so my potential audience isn't very large.

 

[Bacon is fluffy]

Actually, I didn't intend for it to have Madoka vibes at all. In New Moon, being a Sailor Soldier is a fundamentally good thing, and the main characters are the good guys. It's not like Madoka where being a magical girl means moral grayness and suffering. Could you please point out where you read the Madoka themes, so I can edit that into something more fitting?

I mean, if I could somehow play it collaboratively without taking on a full GM role (a 1x1x1x1, perhaps?), I would. But not a lot of people have faith in GMless roleplays, and I don't blame them.

I'm considering running it on a different site I frequent as well as this one. Different communities can mean different dominant tastes.

Yeah, I'm not looking for nostalgia-based interest. This is fairly different from Sailor Moon proper. I also don't think there's a huge amount of overlap between people who like gritty post-apocalyptic settings and people who like magical girls, so my potential audience isn't very large.

I used madoka as a stereotype of what's easily recognizable as a grittier and darker take on magical girls, rather than saying you want a carbon copy.

Being under the pin of a tyrannical magical dictator, with magical ss police roaming the streets and a cult based on technology? All these things are easily construed as screwed up and can have massive implications if you play the social part right. Certainly not your average harem slice of life magical girl show. Or at least that's the vibe I get.

I do realize that anime has tons of dictators that are dethroned off by the power of love and friendship. Infinite stratos is the technology girl equivalent in which some dopy kid with a harem of sexy girls will eventually defeat an evil empire lol.

So if you don't want people thinking this is edgy and rather, want them to see it in the same light as fairy tail. You should have a disclaimer based on what you want.

You could. People try to create rps where the responsibility is distributed rather than centralized all the time. Or rather it was a popular approached called sandbox rping.

You did mention 90's sailor moon, so that's what gave me the idea. But sailor moon is old in itself, so it doesn't matter if you're going for nostalgia. It's an old series with a reboot that wasn't well received.

That's just my two cents. The bottom line is if you want a certain tone, you should be clearer because to me, it's the serious version of sailor moon. That was mostly based on a middle schooler's romance lol

 

[Quincunx]

I used madoka as a stereotype of what's easily recognizable as a grittier and darker take on magical girls, rather than saying you want a carbon copy.

Being under the pin of a tyrannical magical dictator, with magical ss police roaming the streets and a cult based on technology? All these things are easily construed as screwed up and can have massive implications if you play the social part right. Certainly not your average harem slice of life magical girl show. Or at least that's the vibe I get.

I see where you're coming from now. I'd say this RP features traditional magical girls in a darker and grittier world, rather than a darker take on the concept of magical girls, but that's semantics. Your response tells me I was clear that this isn't 90s Sailor Moon.

I do realize that anime has tons of dictators that are dethroned off by the power of love and friendship. Infinite stratos is the technology girl equivalent in which some dopy kid with a harem of sexy girls will eventually defeat an evil empire lol.

So if you don't want people thinking this is edgy and rather, want them to see it in the same light as fairy tail. You should have a disclaimer based on what you want.

I don't know enough about Fairy Tail to say whether I want that or not, but I will consider writing a disclaimer and/or rewriting the plot description with a lighter tone.

You could. People try to create rps where the responsibility is distributed rather than centralized all the time. Or rather it was a popular approached called sandbox rping.

I'll research more about that! I'm not sure "sandbox" is the word I want, since in my understanding of the approach, there's more solo posts and less character interaction. But it's definitely worth me looking into it further, and your description sounds like what I want.

You did mention 90's sailor moon, so that's what gave me the idea. But sailor moon is old in itself, so it doesn't matter if you're going for nostalgia. It's an old series with a reboot that wasn't well received.

Agreed.

That's just my two cents. The bottom line is if you want a certain tone, you should be clearer because to me, it's the serious version of sailor moon. That was mostly based on a middle schooler's romance lol

I should probably settle on a definite tone for "traditional magical girls in an edgier setting", and then I can make that tone clearer. This helps.

Thank you for your critique. I'll see what I can do!

 

[Bacon is fluffy]

Quincunx Good luck