Corrupt a Wish

[Galaxy]

Granted, but you have to deal with troublesome, mind-boggling taxes.

I wish I had a million wishes.

 

[Satanic Nightjar]

Granted, but you have to deal with troublesome, mind-boggling taxes.

I wish I had a million wishes.

You are given a million wishes, but you cannot use them for yourself-they belong to other people, all you do is granted them.

I wish for a book containing all the USEFUL knowledge of the world organized in alphabetical order.

 

[official clown business]

Granted, my good friend, granted! Let me hand you this million-page book containing all the useful knowledge of the world you could ever benefit from. We're talkin' everything from world history and the art of war to actually useful life hacks, basic survival instincts, and even little-known animal fun facts, all arranged in English alphabetical order.

Now let me run through a little FAQ with you so you know what you're getting into with this book.
How large is this book? About as large as you would expect a million-page book to be. It's not a pocketbook, it's an encyclopedia-sized book.
Will this save your life? Eventually, if you manage to turn to the right page in time.
Is there an eBook format of this? No.

Enjoy your newfound knowledge!

Ok, ok... I wish... to star in my very own hit TV show. It needs to have a cool name and everything.

 

[Lord Food Person]

Granted, but it only rolls for a couple of episodes and never really completes its first season.

I wish to lose my fear of the ocean and other large bodies of water.

 

[Satanic Nightjar]

Granted, but it only rolls for a couple of episodes and never really completes its first season.

I wish to lose my fear of the ocean and other large bodies of water.

Granted, your fear is gone, but being ridden of your survival insticts, you take a massive risk and quickly drown.

I wish I had a good boyfriend.

 

[Lord Food Person]

Granted, your fear is gone, but being ridden of your survival insticts, you take a massive risk and quickly drown.

I wish I had a good boyfriend.

Granted. But he was too good for you and you couldn’t handle it. You broke it off with him.

I wish I could have the knowledge of the universe.

 

[Galaxy]

For five full seconds, you have the satisfaction and luxury of all knowledge...
Then your brain explodes in your skull.

I wish full immunity against all and any disease.

 

[Lord Food Person]

For five full seconds, you have the satisfaction and luxury of all knowledge...
Then your brain explodes in your skull.

I wish full immunity against all and any disease.

Granted, but unfortunately, the granted immunity decreased your lifespan to the point where you’re immune to all diseases for only a week.....and then you died.

I wish my pet could talk to me.

 

[Satanic Nightjar]

Granted, but sadly all it does is ask repeatedly for food without stopping.

I wish for immediate death.

 

[Lord Food Person]

Granted, but you’re just reborn into your next life to address the unfinished business of your previous life.

I wish to finally get a full nights sleep.

 

[Satanic Nightjar]

Granted, but unfortunately you never manage to sleep that well ever again.

I wish for world peace and equality.

 

[Dark lord steel]

Granted.

There is world peace, because everyone is dead.

I wish for everything to remain the same, except I have the powers of God.

 

[Forgy]

Granted, but your control is similar to Bruce Almighty's early God powers. Voices in his head, mostly.

I wish that I could eat anything I want and it be perfectly nutritional for me.

 

[Satanic Nightjar]

Granted, but when these things combine in your stomach they become poisonous and immediately kill you.

I wish for eternal life for me and my loved ones.

 

[Dark lord steel]

Granted, but as your minds remain intact, your bodies crumble to dust.

I wish for my partner to love me forever.

 

[Forgy]

Granted, but forever was really only three minutes until they died.

I wish to have the most beautiful eyebrows.

 

[Dark lord steel]

Granted, but they get permanently burnt off two days later in an accident.

I wish to be able to time travel.

 

[Satanic Nightjar]

Granted, you may travel exactly 2 minutes into the future or the past!

I wish to fall in love with someone who cares for me.

 

[Dark lord steel]

Granted, they care for you but the relationship is horribly toxic.

I wish to be able to read people's minds.

 

[Satanic Nightjar]

Granted, you can read their minds, but as you do it they can also read yours.

I wish for everyone in the world to care for each other and treat one another as equals.

 

[Forgy]

Granted, people care about everyone. But all of that caring is dialed into negativity and hatred. Everyone murders each other, treating anyone who comes across their path as an equal, and fighting to the death.

I wish my real father was Poseidon, God of the Seas.

 

[Lord Food Person]

Granted, but after having you, he cheats on your mom and makes a better child. He then strips you of your powers and rids himself of you, only to give your powers, along with all his love and attention to your younger sibling.

I wish to understand things I couldn’t before.

 

[wdinatx]

Ok. You now know the number of germs you are touching at any given moment.

I wish RP’s would die less often.

 

[official clown business]

Granted. You have saved all rare puppers from extinction, but they require the "life force" of every roleplay you join, which means it's only a matter of time before threads turn into ghost towns. You must now roleplay full-time (joining at least 2 new threads every week) in order to grant all puppers the gift of eternal youth.

I wish for a good cup of coffee. I need to stay awake somehow.

 

[Galaxy]

Very well! You have a super powered, triple boosted, extra caffeinated, quadruple espresso shot. It gives you an insane supply of energy, but you can never sleep again, and you are enternally twitchy and extra sensitive to everything. Your insane productivity makes you go crazy when you have nothing to do.

I wish to see the world's most perfect nightsky.