Fantasy Clear Crimson Mirror | Private

[LONELYRAIN]

Jun, as unconvinced by Byakuren's claim had reluctantly allowed the matter to slide, now merely focused on the route ahead and escaping. The barren, battered landscape was passing by in a blur, with ruined structures that clearly had been destroyed prior, perhaps buildings in prior years now being nothing but burned and singed rubble. Although the further they went, Byakuren still occasionally looked over his shoulder as the village of Yuhi was now merely a speck on the horizon. It just didn't seem... right. The pain that had assaulted him moments ago was still there, although he felt no physical effects upon his body, and although he could make out Saburo's shape in the distance, the oni wasn't inclined on chasing after the little group. Instead, he seemed to be letting them go. But why?

Discomfort settled within him as he turned his head away, continuing to guide his own mount after Jun, his eyes dropping occasionally to Ayumi before him, seeing her current state concerned him far more than anything else. Just how much more of this could she possibly take? The thought seemed familiar as it came to mind, did he perhaps think this frequently before his memory loss? His jaw clenched in the beginnings of frustration as he forced his gaze away, ignoring the pain lancing through his side. Ayumi needed to get somewhere safe, as far away from everything as possible. I'm sorry. A bitter tang of regret had nearly made Byakuren say the apology aloud to her, but he would not say such things. Not while the danger hadn't passed yet.

In their mad dash to safety, the scenery around them had quickly changed, the air from the sand surroundings increasing with heat. It was only now with the quickly warming air had Byakuren finally slowed down his creature as Jun had done the same, considering both of the reptiles were breathing heavily. The oni's head tilted back to look up at the skies, though it seemed that night was slowly giving way to dawn, which certainly had made their mad dash take quite while. The sands that had been surrounding them on all sides before was now earthy soil, but even the soil itself seemed strange, the dirt taking on a reddish hue and glowing faintly like dying embers. In front of them was a distinct marker, a flag pole with the emblem of the resistance upon it, though it was currently hanging lazily from the pole itself, only rustling slightly from an arid breeze passing by.

Behind the flag pole, there was a wall though it was made from hardened, black stone, Byakuren could tell it was recently constructed as the buildings behind it seemed like old houses, similar to the village of Yuhi's, and for the most part it appeared to be silent with the occasional light from an on-duty guard's lantern casting shadows upon the houses. It was a foothold, a temporary base that they had been led to... though Byakuren personally wasn't enthusiastic at the moment, but his gaze had now turned to Ayumi, his hands hesitantly reaching out to touch her shoulders ever so lightly, "Ayumi?" He called her name hesitantly as now Jun had turned his creature around, the two guards behind him having already went ahead, probably to alert whoever was at the outpost currently.

"Is she alright?" Jun's concerned voice rang out, the male looking at Ayumi as he attempted to reach out to her, causing Byakuren's arms to wrap around her and pull her close, moving her from Jun's reach before he could come in contact with her, though he couldn't say anything in response to Jun to verify if Ayumi was alright or not. He didn't know. His grip was trembling as he held Ayumi to him, his bright eyes dark as he looked down at her. Though Byakuren hadn't said a single word, Jun seemed to pick up on his expression which the man had dropped his arm to his side, "...Come. You can beat yourself over this later as much as you want, but you needn't react as if I'm about to hurt her. Besides, you look just as bad."

The oni's jaw clenched as he growled at Jun, though clearly not having any memory of the human, there was a distinct feeling within him that he didn't like him beforehand either... but, he knew Jun was right, even if he didn't want to admit that. Byakuren's trembling grip had slackened, though upon doing so; the throbbing pain he had been ignoring during the panicked ride had come to his attention, nearly causing the oni to slump forward, though he quickly stopped himself. He was beginning to feel ill, however he didn't need to give in. Not now.

 

[Keylyn May]

Ayumi remained in her position, though she was unsure as to how much time had passed. She kept her hands upon her ears, almost afraid to uncover them as another horrid noise was soon to follow if her hands left her ears. She kept her eyes shut as well. She didn't want to see anymore. Visions of the young boy kept dancing behind her closed eyelids and she fought the rising hysteria once more. Instead of focusing on the images, Ayumi attempted to focus on the movement of the creature beneath her. With every motion, it took her further from the nightmare that was behind them. With every motion, they hopefully got closer and closer to some form of safety.

Ayumi hardly registered that they had stopped. Her eyes were still shut and her body still forward, hardly wishing to move. I just need to wake up, she told herself over and over. Just wake up. She felt a hand reach her, pulling her close. She jumped at the feel, not expecting it, yet could feel someone holding her now. Carefully, her mind registered that it was Byakuren who had now drawn her near. Gingerly, her hands left her ears and gently wrapped around Byakuren, her fingers clutching his clothes as she pressed her body closer to his own. "Tell me we're far from him," she whispered, her voice shaking slightly, though it did not sound like her normal tone. Her amber eyes opened slightly, heavy exhaustion and haunting now controlling her gaze.

As she held him, Ayumi could feel Byakuren trembling. "You're shaking," she murmured. While her words reflected her normal worry of another, her tone did not. It seemed almost automatic like she was saying it without actually knowing it. At this moment, Ayumi looked more like the fragile side of a human than she had ever had before. Yet, who could truly blame her? In a matter of days, she had seen a village attacked, horrid monsters, Byakuren's transformation, and now the attack and taking of innocent lives by children. It was a wonder she hadn't fallen this far before now.

 

[LONELYRAIN]

Byakuren's heart plummeted at Ayumi's response. Even if he had no memory of her before, he knew without a doubt that she had never displayed such behavior before. Her tone lacked any sort of vitality, as if she merely were reacting out of habit. His lips parted to speak, but he couldn't as he stared down at her, staring blankly into her haunted, exhausted gaze. She had been pushed too much. Whether he realized it or not, his grip around her had loosened as his expression became pained, "...I'm sorry."

He spotted movement from the corner of his eyes, now seeing Jun's expression as serious as he possibly could be, "I'll take her somewhere safe. You've done enough." There was a harsh edge to Jun's tone, although Byakuren did not know if it was intentional or not, but the look in Jun's eyes told him enough that the young man certainly wasn't looking too fondly upon Byakuren. But, could Byakuren truly blame him? The oni looked away from Jun, raising a hand and lightly touching Ayumi's cheek, lowering his voice, "..You'll be safe now. Don't worry about me." Empty words; empty promises. He swore he would protect her, at least he thought he had before due to the strong desire to do so lingering within his chest... but he had failed. Even if she was physically fine, he had done little to protect her mental state, an absolute and utter failure he wasn't taking too well.

So, gently he had held her tightly to him; lifting her and gently passing her over to Jun, which the other man had securely allowed Ayumi to settle behind him as he said over his shoulder to her, a far gentler tone than what he had taken with Byakuren, "Let's get you somewhere you can sleep." The man didn't even so much as give another passing glance to Byakuren, though he did say in a less than friendly tone, "As for you, it doesn't matter where you sleep. Find somewhere safe enough." Byakurrn's hands clenched into tight fists at that, though he didn't utter a single word in protest. As soon as Jun was far enough away, it was only then that Byakuren had allowed himself to slump forward in his saddle, the pain flowing through him increasing as sweat began to form on him. He couldn't allow anyone to see him like this, something didn't feel right.

...​

Jun was quiet as he moved through the sleepy outpost, slowing to a stop before what seemed like an old chapel that had been temporarily taken over as a sleeping quarters and recovery ward. He slipped from his saddle, though gently raising his hands outward to Ayumi so she could grab hold, pity swelling in his heart for her. Even if Jun was quite rough around the edges, the man couldn't help but see Ayumi as a poor victim once again like he had seen her three years prior. The empty look in her eyes and the lack of emotion in her tone seemed all too eerily similar to the broken women he frequently had rescued before, so he couldn't help but try to be as gentle as he could, "C'mon, I'll make sure you get one of the best rooms we have right now." He hoped his words would give her some semblance of reassurance, though he knew it wouldn't help much. His heart at the very least was in the right place.

 

[Keylyn May]

Ayumi could hear Byakuren and Jun talking, though she wasn't registering what was being said. She could feel Byakuren holding her, but didn't speak anymore. It was as if Ayumi had simply pushed down her awareness of what had happened, but in doing so pushed down any emotions or feelings at the moment. It was a defensive move, to practically shut down. In any other instance, Ayumi would have objected to what was being said to Byakuren. She knew that Jun did not like Byakuren, and normally she would be trying to defend Byakuren. However, at the moment, Ayumi was almost as useless as a doll. While she would hate herself for ending up this way, there was hardly anyone could do about it now.

She felt herself being handed off, though again her movements were as if they were practiced and mechanical. She said nothing to either man, allowing herself to be carried away. Her half-lidded amber gaze watched the moving landscape as she was taking from Byakuren, but it was as if she was not actually seeing it. When Jun stretched out a hand to her to help her down, Ayumi took it, though her hold had no strength to it. If Jun was not holding onto her hand, it would simply fall away from his entirely. Her actions were also based off the fact that the hand had been held out to her, not so much because of the words he had spoken.

 

[LONELYRAIN]

Jun's expression fell into pity at Ayumi's weak grip, before twisting to anger. His anger was directed at Byakuren of course, even if he recalled seeing the oni only briefly three years ago, he would have sworn that due to the desperation he had seen in the oni to get to Ayumi that he would keep her safe. Weren't the oni strong? Were they not far stronger than the average human? Then why... why would he not protect Ayumi with everything he had to keep her safe? These furious thoughts only continued to spin in Jun's head for the few moments he merely stood, holding Ayumi's hand slightly tighter than before as he stared at her face, his fury causing his face to redden... though this faded as he closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath and letting the pent up breath escape. Now was not the time.

"I'm sorry you had to suffer so much." These words were spoken softly, though Jun didn't know if Ayumi would even be capable of managing a response to him, nor was he really expecting an answer from her. Not here, not now. Instead, the man's hand had gentled upon her's once again, leading her forward into the old chapel. Inside, it seemed as if there was a comfortable silence that had settled, only interrupted by the sound of quiet snores from humans and oni who had laid out tattered, dirty blankets upon the old floorboards. Jun had traversed the sleeping bodies as carefully as he could, passing what was a wooden statue of an oni, arms outstretched although it was half obscured by a tattered sheet that covered the face and shoulders of whoever it had once been. Behind the statue itself seemed to be a hallway, although completely cloaked in darkness, there were a row of rooms that had been put apart for Jun and his closest allies. It was here that Jun's steps led to the room set aside for him, his free hand pressing against the door which squeaked open, the sound piercing in the silence.

Upon him taking a single step into the room, a bright light from what was a glass container on the wall had flared to life, a wisp with an orange glow. It was then that the room could be seen, although it seemed to be mostly barren aside from a spare suit of armor that had been dropped in a far corner and an old bed, although not particularly too comfy, it would serve better than sleeping on the hard floor. The man had led Ayumi to the bed, releasing her hand as he then pulled back the thin sheets of the bed, saying in a gentle tone, "You can sleep here, you'll be safer this way. And don't worry, I'll be right outside your room if you need me." He glanced over to her as he said those words, his lips pressing in a thin, tense line for a few seconds as he then straightened up and gently had guided her to lay down upon the bed, only once seeing that she was secure did he grasp the sheets and gently pulled it over her, "I know it's not the best bed you've laid in, but I hope it'll do you some good for now."

With that, the man had stepped away from her bedside, crossing the room to the container which held the wisp, though briefly looking over his shoulder to look at Ayumi with concern still heavy within his eyes, "..Goodnight." His hand reached to the container, gently knocking on the glass with a knuckle twice which the wisp had then went dark, once more allowing the darkness to fall within the room as Jun had then left, his footsteps echoing within the room as the door squealed upon its hinges before closing with a solid click. His footsteps had faded down the hallway, only to return as there was shuffling outside of the door and like promised, Jun had returned, his back resting against the door, the spare sheet he had secured for himself behind draped over his legs as now the man was resting, though guarding the doorway just to ensure Ayumi wouldn't be disturbed.

 

[Keylyn May]

Ayumi seemed to just let everything pass by her as Jun led her along. She was afraid to think, afraid to process. If she tried right now, she would see those horrid images again. She would see Saburo, the children, the lifeless body of that poor boy... She couldn't allow herself to think of those at this time, so she actively pushed it down, blocking it all just for the moment. Just for tonight. Was it so wrong to stop herself from feeling for just a bit? Could or would anyone blame her for it? However, through it all, she was becoming actively more aware that Byakuren was no longer there. Where did he go? Where would he be at tonight?

Ayumi allowed Jun to lay her upon the bed, cover her with a blanket, and exit as he spoke of not being far. Ayumi laid still as Jun left, watching as darkness fell over the room she was now in. Her gaze slowly went to the door, the small crack allowing her to see a shadow laying not far beyond. Ayumi Jun was right there, able to hear her at the slightest sound of distress. She did not, however, fall asleep quickly. Ayumi's eyes remained open for quite some time. She was afraid. If she shut her eyes, it would all come back. What if she saw these images all night? What if she saw them in her sleep? So Ayumi laid there, staring at the ceiling, simply letting time pass by as the night wore on. Who could say they would truly be safe here anyway? What if she had to get out quickly? She couldn't do that if she was asleep.

As time moved on, however, exhaustion was winning its battle with Ayumi. Soon, without her truly realizing it, her eyes had shut and sleep pulled her down into a dark sleep. No images, no noises, nothing but dark. It was as if she was too tired to even dream tonight.

 

[LONELYRAIN]

Hours had slipped by, and with it would come the first light of the morning sun. With the morning sun came the slow motion of activity as dutiful men and women alike would begin going through the motions of their usual routine. And Jun, keeping his word had remained in front of Ayumi's door throughout the night, the man falling asleep, although not falling too deep into the depth of unconsciousness that he wouldn't be able to react if necessary. The smell of fresh food soon wafted to the man's nose, the smell of meat, a rare feast indeed within their base in the desert. With it would be some fruits harvested from supplies that had been sent to them over the three years of war, imports from allies in the Earth nation. As Jun had stirred, the man's sleepy mind immediately had turned to Ayumi. Remembering the state she had been in had sent the man scrambling to his feet, turning to face the door behind him as he hesitantly knocked, "Ayumi, I'm coming in."

Hesitantly, he had opened the door, the faint squeal of the door echoing in the silence as he crossed his previous path taken during the night to approach the wisp and knocked upon the glass, causing the creature to once more emit some light to chase away the darkness in the room. He approached Ayumi's bedside, kneeling so that a gentle hand could wake her, "Hey, Ayumi, it's morning. Time to wake up." He wouldn't force her from her bed if she didn't desire to, as it was obvious the concern he held in his eyes as he waited for a response from her. Perhaps Jun that thought that Byakuren had done something truly awful to terrify Ayumi into such a empty state, or she had run into more trouble that she wasn't prepared for. Whatever the reason, Jun was determined to handle her as if she were fragile, as if fit to break at the slightest touch. After all, out of all the people currently stationed at the resistance base, Jun was the most qualified to handle delicate situations like these. He hesitated for a few seconds, adding in a gentle voice, "Do you feel like eating? I can get you some breakfast, you don't need to get up if you don't want to." A kind offer, not forcing her to do anything if she didn't feel up to moving. He wouldn't want her to push herself to run around until she felt okay enough to, and judging from how she had been during the night... she certainly wasn't.

Of course, he was keeping his questions void of what had occurred during the night, nor would he bring up Byakuren. Whether it was out of spite or not, the man was determined to keep Byakuren out of sight and out of mind, not that he knew where the oni had slept during the night, nor did he knew what was going on with the other male. It was a bit cold of him to react in such a way, but he only deemed it fitting. Byakuren had been nothing but trouble from his point of view, and he wasn't going to allow him to put Ayumi in danger, not right now.

 

[Keylyn May]

As the night passed by, Ayumi had slept much harder than previous nights. Lack of sleep could've been one of the reasons for her previous state and it seemed her body was soaking up as much sleep as it could get. She hardly moved through the night, though she did curl slightly in on herself. The blanket around her drawn in more to her face, making her appear as a small child would when the cuddle with a blanket. Only her closed eyes, nose, and upper portion of her head was visible as she laid curled with the blanket. But for argument's sake, at least her sleep appeared to be that of a peaceful one, untampered by haunting visions.

Ayumi didn't stir as Jun knocked on the door, nor did she stir as the door squeaked upon his entering. She lay as still as the dead until his voice began to cut through the sleep as he knelt beside her bed. Ayumi began to hear his voice as he spoke of it being morning, her amber eyes slowly blinking open though she desired to sink back into the empty sleep. Ayumi shifted slightly as her amber eyes opened, first seeing Jun then flicking about the room she appeared to be in. Confusion seemed to light her gaze for a moment. "Jun..." She murmured, her voice slightly hoarse, seeming to have a tone of familiarity as if she was realizing again who he was. At His question of eating, she nodded slightly though she still seemed questioning. "Where am I?"

Much of last night was a blur to Ayumi, though it would be surprising. Try to suppress so much was bound to leave one a little confused the next morning. Ayumi shifted slightly again as she seemed to move to sit up, though a hand quickly came to head as immense pounding followed her attempt. "My head..." She laid back down against the bed once more, her hands pressed against her temples as her eyes shut again against the pounding. Clearly, the events had exhausted her and yet Ayumi hadn't quite returned to her normal state of being yet. Her skin was pale. While she had bathed and eaten at the first small village, she had not eaten since. Not to mention that the events that unfolded would have burned a lot of the calories she had brought in that day. "What happened?"

 

[LONELYRAIN]

She seems better. That relieved thought filtered through the man's mind as he kept a gentle smile upon his face, further relief flooding through him at the recognition in her tone. At her answer of him getting her food, the man had shifted his position to leave, grunting as he got to his feet, his back stabbing with slight pain due to his rather uncomfortable sleeping spot during the night. As he experimentally cracked his back, he tilted his head at her as she had asked where she was, forcing his face to retain the calm smile upon his face as he answered, "You're in Fort Highmaul, a rebel paradise if you can all it that." A warm chuckle had left the man's voice at that, though considering it a paradise was a bit of a stretch, it simply would do for now. His smile however wavered as she continued to ask questions, turning into a deep frown as she tried to sit up, only to lay back down and began pressing her hands against her temples as if in pain or exhausted. On second thought, not completely better.

"...Let me get you some breakfast first before I tell you anything." He didn't want to tell her anything just yet considering she seemed to just show the first signs of normalcy. With that, the man had departed the room, his steps fading away as he approached where the appetizing scent of food was coming from. His stomach growled, ravenous, approaching where the meat of the beast that was being cooked lay. Of course, as Ayumi was his priority right now, he had grabbed a portion of food, though pausing as he saw an all too familiar pale shape lingering at the edge of the fort. A sound of irritation settled in his throat as he stared at the oni who was sitting on a discarded ration box, but couldn't help a feeling of pity at the haggard look in his eyes. Though, as he kept staring at Byakuren, his eyes narrowed in confusion as he spotted a deep red upon the oni's top, though he could've sworn he'd not seen that during the night before. His eyes trailed then to the box and on the side of the ragged tunic, the box was stained a deep red. Blood.

Immediately, Jun approached, his steps quick as he approached the oni, "Hey!" He raised his voice, though the oni didn't react, at least... not immediately. It was only when Jun had stomped up right in front of him had Byakuren's eyes slowly moved to look at him, though seeing the heaviness reflected in the crimson eyes that stared back at him, he clearly hadn't slept. Jun's gaze shifted down to the box, then seeing splatters of the dried liquid upon the desert sand, leading outside of the fort itself with the oni's footprints within the sand. A scowl crossed his features as he looked at Byakuren, "Are you hurt? Why didn't you go to the medic?! I know you oni are tough but-" The oni shifted suddenly, standing up abruptly as Jun flinched back, his muscles tensing at the heavy air that suddenly had weighed down between the two.

"...Take care of her. Please." The quiet request caused Jun to blink, confusion in his chest as he stared back at the crimson eyes peering down at him. Unable to speak, he settled for nodding, though upon getting Jun's confirmation, the oni had then sat once more, staring off into nothingness. Weird. That was the only thought that Jun could think of, feeling goosebumps crawling over his skin. He felt like Byakuren was a lot different from before, but this... this was strange. A frown crossed the man's face as he retraced his steps back to the room where Ayumi was in, eventually opening the door with the rations of dried fruit and the fresh meat, forcing his frown to ebb away as he smiled gently at her, attempting to hide the confusion he was feeling regarding Byakuren's behavior... even if he didn't really know the oni too well.

"Here you go, Ayumi. Eat up." He placed the bowl of food before her, his stomach tightening hungrily at the smell, but he held back. He could always eat later, and as of now he was attempting to think of how to properly answer Ayumi's question earlier. He didn't want to accidentally cause her to lock down again, but he truly didn't know the details of why she and Byakuren were in the ruined village of Yuhi either. His lips turned down in a frown again as the man had settled upon the floor, though putting space between them as he leaned his back against the door, mulling over any possible answer he could give her. "All I can really say is that I found you with that oni you seem to always be around with on patrol. You weren't in the best shape, and he handed you over into my care." It didn't seem like Jun was keen on saying Byakuren's name, and chose for the most simplified and lacking response he could give. It was a non-answer, mostly and certainly not satisfactory.

 

[Keylyn May]

Ayumi watched as Jun left her side, leaving to get her some food. Ayumi laid back her head, her amber gaze fixed on the ceiling above her. Her head pounded and yet she was determined to figure out what had happened. There was a lot of fuzziness in her mind that caused her some concern. Despite this, she had a feeling in her chest that perhaps she didn't want to know what happened. She had not experienced this before. What if something painful had happened?

Ayumi looked over as she heard Jun again, her nose caught the scent of food as he entered her room once more. She heard his words as she looked at the bowl of food he placed, her stomach letting out a growl at the idea of food. Clearly, it had been a short time since she had eaten. She took up the bowl and gingerly began to eat, though her shoulders visibly seemed to relax as she began to get some food into her. Jun began to speak once more and Ayumi listened, though her eating came to a halt as he mentioned "that oni you seem to always be around". Ayumi's eyes flashed back to his own. "Byakuren," she said, shifting lightly as if she would get up. "Byakuren, where is he?" She glanced around the room as if half expecting him to be there. It was odd that he wouldn't be near, which only served to unnerve Ayumi all the more.

She placed a hand on her head, setting the bowl to the side. The fog in her mind was growing to be annoying, especially as she didn't know where Byakurne was at this time. Clearly, something had happened as his absence seemed to speak of it. Whenever something happened, Byakuren distanced himself, especially if she was involved. One way or another, Ayumi was determined to make her foggy memories clear once more. "Is he okay? Is he here?" she asked once more, clearly worried for him. Ayumi had already lost him physically once and had lost her place in his mind as well. They were just beginning to get back to each other, and Ayumi was determined not to have him ripped from her so soon. Her mind seemed to continue the fight, though Ayumi was now beginning to recall that they had left the village of the worshippers. They had been traveling. Traveling for some time really. They had stopped somewhere that night but... Again the fog was in the way, and Ayumi harshly frowned at the fact she was so useless at this moment.

 

[LONELYRAIN]

The man tensed as she began to ask for Byakuren, uncertainly clouding the man's eyes though he shook his head firmly at her as she had begun to move. "Hey-" He began, his sentence filled with a tinge of fretting as Ayumi continued to move, prompting Jun to approach her as he crouched down on her level, "Ayumi, please, don't try to get up right now." Jun's eyebrows furrowed, knitting together in concern as he was silent for a few moments, only to release a heavy sigh, his shoulders drooping. "...Byakuren is fine." At least, I think he is. It was a short enough answer, but his tone didn't seem too convinced himself. He wasn't sure what to make of the emptiness in the oni's gaze, nor the heaviness in his words or even his request. As much as a mystery his oni companions were, Byakuren was proving to be the one he felt the most confusion over, as the other didn't seem to elaborate on his request to take care of Ayumi.

Deciding to use Byakuren's request to his advantage, the man had turned his gaze to the bowl of fruit and meat he'd given her, "He told me to take care of you, and if I'm going to fulfill his request, I need you to eat." The man leaned over, grasping the bowl once more and cradled it within his hands, offering her a gentle smile as he lifted the offering of food once more before her, "So, please don't concern yourself over anything right now. You need rest and energy, plus there is some news that I nearly forgotten to tell you." It was a memo sent ahead of time, perhaps quite a few weeks back when the rebel group under Rose had been on the Water Nation; and after months being cut off from the main fleet, it was to be expected for Rose's group to eventually join the rebels in Fort Highmaul, although in smaller groups of course. A large moving force wasn't ideal, especially on the expansive desert sands where there was little cover, and hostile creatures that were native to the arid lands.

"Perhaps in a few days, some of your companions from the main force will join us." He had at this point placed the bowl in Ayumi's hands, "From what last I heard from them, they'll be traveling in small groups. You might be able to see some of your friends." Jun had briefly met the tattered group that had joined them in the hasty escape from Yumi's homeland three years prior, and although he hadn't grown close to any of them, he had least could remember most of them by name... even if it was primarily Yumi, considering the oni had stuck to Ayumi's side like glue for so long that it was odd not seeing her nearby. He hoped that at least the news would distract her from asking more about Byakuren, though perhaps that was a hope in vain. Although he knew not the reason for Ayumi's heavy infatuation with the oni, he would not pry... at least not yet. Keeping her stable and from thinking too much on what had happened was his priority, if he was to keep his promise to Byakuren.

"I think... what was it... Yumi? Yumi most likely should be among the first wave if you're lucky. I'm sure you would like to see her again, right?" Further diversion into a topic he supposed Ayumi would enjoy. Keep her calm, keep her safe. That was all he could do in this moment in time, to treat her as if she were fragile, to break at a single touch. Even if he was smiling quite warmly at her, the look in the depths of his eyes clearly shown some slight guarded tint at any mention of Byakuren, actively avoiding touching upon the oni as he wasn't sure how Ayumi would react to see him... well, covered in blood and what he could only assume it to be the oni's.

 

[Keylyn May]

Ayumi looked at Jun as he came to her level, stating that Byakuren was alright. Ayumi could tell by his tone that he wasn't wholly convinced of this, and his missing presence did not go well with Jun's words. Ayumi listened as Jun spoke of Byakuren asking him to take care of her. Again, this did not rest entirely well with Ayumi. Why wasn't Byakuren here with her? However, Ayumi could see that there was little she was going to be able to do to get out of here. Jun seemed intent on making sure she remained still and ate the food he had brought for her. Of course, the words that he spoke next had a more positive effect on her.

As Ayumi took the bowl once more, she listened as Jun spoke of there rest of the group beginning to come in. Ayumi sat back, thinking of the group that she had left behind in the hopes of bringing Byakuren back to them. She hadn't heard anything about them since she had left, and she hadn't been able to communicate back to them. A small smile lit her lips as Jun mentioned Yumi. "Yes, Yumi," she said, settling back into the bed once more. "It would be great to see Yumi again." Of course, there was much to catch up on. Not only that, she missed having her friend around. She missed having her to talk to and having her insight on the arising situations. It would be good to have her near once more.

{{ sorry. rushed }}

 

[LONELYRAIN]

(All good c: )

"Mhm!" He agreed with a bit too much enthusiasm, a bit of relief flooding through him from head to toe as the man had settled upon an old chair within the corner of the room, the chair itself creaking underneath his weight as he put some space between them. Though, the commander was wracking his brain for a few seconds to continue to find topics to put Ayumi at ease, "Oh, speaking of Yumi, did she have her child yet?" Jun only knew of the more important events within the group such as losses of forces, whether they were being pushed back in other nations, or reports given to him by Kenshin who had taken his spot while Jun had been off fighting in the Fire Nation lands. He knew little else, and certainly not of the small group that Ayumi frequently insisted on being around, even if Jun found it... odd she seemed so comfortable around the oni. A personal prejudice of his that he certainly hadn't fully let go of yet, but it puzzled him nonetheless.

"And what of Hanao? Last time I saw him he was..." Jun had raised an arm, his outstretched arm rising only to his chest within his seated position, "...About this big, I believe?" After all, it had been roughly three years since, and he had no idea how to estimate or properly prepare himself for the sudden growth spurt that both oni and yokai went through. Hanao was only a vague memory in Jun's head however, seeing as the young yokai frequently was lingering around Miho and Bi-nasu, a wide-eyed yet serious healer that always strove to please. Though, he only rarely spoke to the yokai, mostly due to him being injured at Hanao being forced to practice on him; but he supposed the young yokai was a good and well-mannered youth.

"Though, maybe I'm missing out on a lot of developments that happened over the years," He chuckled, a grin crossing his face as his arm had lowered and he hummed, "Granted, the one question I do have more than the others is how did you get separated from the main force? I certainly wasn't expecting you or.. er," He cleared his throat, omitting the name again as his smile seemed a bit strained, "Anyways, why don't you fill me in on what you've been up to. It's been quite a long time, hasn't it?" Another diversion, but Jun didn't want her to think too much on unpleasant memories, steadily avoiding mentioning the village or even the village's name. He doubted she would want to remember whatever had spooked her there.

 

[Keylyn May]

Ayumi seemed to settle back into her place on the bed, gingerly eating the food that she had been given. Her headache was beginning to lessen the more she got food into her. At Jun's question, a small smile played on Ayumi's lips. "Yes, she did," Ayumi offered, watching as Jun settled into a chair in the corner. "She had a little boy. His name is Hiroshi," she said, thinking of the small oni. She began to wonder how big he was now. It felt like such a long time ago since she had last seen Yumi and Hiroshi. She remembered promising that she would return, and haven't done so. How worried was Yumi?

As the question of Hanao, Ayumi reflected back on when they had first found Hanao. He was so small, dirty, and starving in the street next to his sister. She remembered how she had angered Byakuren by trying to stand up to Izumi about taking Hanao with them. Her words had won out though, with Byakuren backing her up of course. "He's taller now," she said, her amber gaze reflecting that she was remembering so many things. "He has grown in his medical skills tremendously." Of course, the last time she saw Hanao, he was dealing with the loss of Miho. The last time she had seen any of them, it was such a dark time. Not to mention that many would be wondering where Bi-nasu was when they arrived. No one knew yet of her sacrifice except for Byakuren and herself.

As he spoke of filling her in, Ayumi drew in a gentle breath. She set aside her now empty bowl and drew her knees up to her chest to gently hug them. "It has been many years," she said, resting her chin on top of her knees. "Let's see. You left with others to the Fire Nation after Osamu came to power, right?" It certainly had been such a long time then if that was the case. Kenshin has stepped up to being Rose's second-in-command when Jun left. Thinking back, Ayumi had learned a lot in how to survive day to day with the oni and the yokai, without Byakuren. He had still been in Osamu's grip. "Well, I'm sure you had heard that we went to the Water Nation to seek shelter there after Osamu's advances kept pushing us further and further. And, I'm sure you were told about the events of the Water Nation and how we didn't get to stay there very long." Such advancements seemed to be news that would travel very quickly to all parts of their team.

"After the Water Nation, we sailed for quite some time until we found an island. Well, it was actually the sea serpent Illida that had an island growing on top of it. The humans there could shift into animals at will." She smiled slightly, remembering the astonishing thing. "Of course, Osamu has a way of finding every one, and we didn't get to stay there long either." She frowned lightly. "Osamu took control of Byakuren. We lost Miho there and later Byakuren died." Ayumi could still remember the sting of that moment. "Hanao was hit really hard with the loss of Miho, and I was in a worthless state with Byakuren's death. Yet, Bi-nasu said that we had to bring him to the Fire Nation. She said he would be coming back, but we had to trust her. I came here with her because I felt as if I had nothing else to lose."

Ayumi sat back up, her back resting against the back of the bed once more. "When we came here, Bi-nasu led me, with Byakuren's body, to the guardian Hikano. There Bi-nasu traded her own life in order to bring Byakuren back." Ayumi used this as practice for how it would feel to tell the others of Bi-nasu's death, especially poor Hanao. Bi-nasu had practically taken all responsibility for raising the little yokai when they first brought him along. "Once Bykuren returned, we went to a small village to rest and I learned that much of Byakuren's memory has been lost upon his return. I am still not entirely sure how much he fully remembers and how much he has completely forgotten about." She paused, frowning once more. "He had forgotten about me..."

 

[Keylyn May]

{{ small bump }}

 

[LONELYRAIN]

(Sorry about not responding for so long, new job is making me super tired most of the time x.x)

Jun listened attentively as Ayumi had begun to speak, his eyebrows raising a bit in faint polite interest that Yumi had indeed given birth to a little boy; Hiroshi. Although, the interest he of course was not out of personal investment, but it was to keep Ayumi engaged in conversation to keep her attention on just speaking, recounting what she had experienced during the three years he was not around the main force. News about Hanao had caused him to chuckle, "Oh really? Well, I'd certainly like to see if he's as good as Miho now." Of course, as soon as those words left his mouth, regret quickly followed as he grew somber at the news of Miho's death. Disbelief filtered within Jun's eyes as he was speechless, lowering his gaze to the floor, "I-I see." Although Miho had been a harsh and bitter old oni, she had grown on him gradually. Hearing that he would never see her again was... well, it was a shock. He closed his eyes as his eyebrows furrowed, though his eyes snapped open in bewilderment as Ayumi stated that Byakuren had died.

Wait, but.. what? He leaned slightly forward in his chair, now paying close attention to Ayumi's tale, eventually resulting in a more somber mood to settle upon Jun... which eventually sparked into anger. What the hell? This anger was now directed toward Byakuren, certainly not Ayumi's fault in any matter but Byakuren certainly should be here with Ayumi, especially since the oni had died, leaving Ayumi no doubt grieving and only to come back, had forgotten the woman before him and now was passing her off to him to look after? What in the world was that fool thinking?! Jun's jaw clenched, his hands clenching together, venomous thoughts filtering through his mind as he thought, If I even did a fraction of those things to Rose; I wouldn't be able to live with myself! His jaws clenched, teeth gritting together for a few moments, only to take in a deep breath as he raised his head to look at Ayumi, eyebrows furrowing together as he said, "Why do you insist on being with him?" The question came out harsh almost, though Jun hesitated as he cleared his throat, feeling a tinge of regret upon saying his sentence so harshly to her.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude. But, hasn't he hurt you enough?" Even if it was no fault of Byakuren's own, Jun still held the oni responsible. "He died, left you grieving and when he comes back he forgets you. And on top of it, brings you here with you being-" He trailed off his sentence, his hands coming to his head, a sharp exhale leaving his body as he shook his head, his eyes narrowing as he looked to Ayumi, "All it seems so far is that you've been put in jeopardy because of him. The state you were in last night... Just-" He shook his head again, anger coiling in his stomach as he crossed his arms across his chest, fingers tapping an agitated beat as he forced himself to calm down. That was right, for some reason it was Ayumi choosing to be with the fool. He didn't understand why, for it made zero sense to the man. "I'm sorry. You just reminded me too much of our... you know, patients when you came in last night." Of course, he was referring to the empty-eyed women that Ayumi had seen three years prior, what Jun had mistaken her for and tried rescuing her from Byakuren, even if it was a misguided attempt at justice, he meant well. Though, his personal bias was shining through in this moment, with his words as he tried to reign himself in. And he certainly didn't hide that he didn't like either oni or yokai too much, trusting fellow humans rather than the monsters they were working with.

His lips pressed in a tight line, scowling almost though he forced his features to relax, "...Regardless, I'm sorry you've had to go through so much. From what you've told me, you've been through a lot." He offered a wavering smile, "You've done well to make it this far, though I'd hope this war ends sooner than later so you don't have to go through it much longer... I've been growing tired of the fighting myself."

 

[Keylyn May]

(Its okay! I understand. I just had some free time and was wondering if you were active again.)

Ayumi looked up in surprise as she heard the shift in Jun's voice. She frowned lightly as she listened to his words, watching as anger seemed to roam over him. She was slightly confused until she allowed her mind to go over her memories once more in a different light. I guess it does look like I've been in danger most of my time with Byakuren... And yet, despite what she had been through, she didn't hold it against Byakuren.

Gently, Ayumi shook her head as she glanced out the window again. She was silent for a moment, allowing a short amount of time for Jun to calm down again. A soft, tired smile came to her lips as she began shaking her head again. "Its not his fault," she murmured softly, before turning her amber gaze back to Jun. "I understand it looks horrible, but its not Byakuren's fault."

She shifted slightly to face Jun a bit more. "Last night was... Was... A new situation. A lot unfolded one after another..." Her mind went to the village in which they had found temporary rest, to the precious time she and Byakuren had been able to share. "We were safe. Byakuren had made sure of that. We had food and a place to rest, and someone else came and caused trouble. Byakuren was just trying to protect everyone." Images of Byakuren's battered form began to surface and she shut her eyes to block them out. She didn't want to disappear again. "After that, we left to seek out another place, only to find it had already been attacked. Again, Byakuren was just trying to protect me, but there was no way to block out the... The children... And Saburo..."

Ayumi closed her eyes again and drew a shaky breath as she tried to keep images at bay. "So much... All at once..." She looked out the window again, growing silent for a moment. It would seem as if she slipped back into her previous state, though eventually she drew a breath and looked to Jun once more. "Byakuren gave me a choice, my own choice long ago. I chose to stay here, with him. I chose this life. With my choice, Byakuren has worked endlessly to ensure my safety. I don't blame him for what I have gone through." A dark look took over Ayumi's gaze. "I blame his so called 'father'." In Ayumi's mind, all was right before he took the thrown, killed Izumi, and caused every hardship from that moment on.

However, something Jun mentioned caused Ayumi to glance around slightly. "Jun..." Ayumi shifted as worry began to set in. "Where is Byakuren?" If Ayumi knew anything of Byakuren, he would feel guilty for her state last night. "He has to know that I am okay," she said, her tone taking on worry for her mate. She moved as if she was about to get up again, determined to make sure that Byakuren didn't do anything rash.

 

[LONELYRAIN]

(Ah, okay! I should be active for awhile, trying not to go on another extended hiatus again, and since I've gotten used to my work schedule I should be all good with keeping up on responses!)

Right... of course. Jun's expression, twisted in anger had settled into passivity as Ayumi begun to explain herself. Granted, he felt guilty for suddenly snapping at her, causing Jun to almost reach out to her, to apologize for his unacceptable behavior, but he resisted and merely was silent. Worry flickered across his face as she had begun to recount the events that were all too recent, the fear of her shutting down again beginning to rise in his chest. "Ayumi, you don't-" He broke off, stopping himself before he could make much more of a bumbling mess of the situation. He should've known better than to allow his emotions to get the best of him, and the guilt had fully claimed hold of his features as he listened to her broken sentences regarding what she had to go through. Even if she claimed that none of it was Byakuren's fault, in the man's opinion, the oni should have done better. What use was such strength, such longevity of life if the oni couldn't be even successful in protecting the woman that was supposedly his "mate".

But, then Ayumi would put the blame on Osamu, the crazed oni that was the source of it all. In response, Jun had closed his eyes and released a gentle sigh as he mumbled, "I suppose you're right." You still would be safer among your own kind. He bit back that sentence, realizing enough that he perhaps had stirred up too many of her memories as it was. If she insisted on being stubborn enough to remain at that dangerous oni's side, then he wouldn't stop her. She had made her choice; he just hoped that she wouldn't come to regret it. After all, Jun's own personal prejudice came from his experiences with the oni to begin with, it wasn't as if he was doing this over mere petty hatred... granted some of his actions perhaps were tainted by pettiness, but his heart was still in the right place, having nothing but good intentions toward his own kind. To see Ayumi being so friendly with them just made him puzzled, and her answers only served for him to think that she maybe was being manipulated, but he couldn't allow himself to voice these opinions as they would be inappropriate.

Then, Ayumi began to ask about Byakuren. This made Jun visibly tense as his head jerked up, eyes widening at Ayumi attempting to move. "H-hey!" The panicked exclamation left his lips as he stood up abruptly, his hands coming to rest upon Ayumi's shoulders as to prevent her from moving, "You're in no state to be walking around yet. I assure you, Byakuren is okay." I think. But, she doesn't need to see him right now. Remembering the blood that covered the oni's side had admittedly cause a surge of concern to flare in his chest as he shook his head, attempting to clear the thought away. However, being conflicted had settled as clear as day on Jun's face, if she was this worried about Byakuren, he doubted that she would listen to him for long. But, he still needed to try.

"You need to stay calm. Byakuren is fine, and I assure you, he knows that you're okay." His tone was suspicious almost, unable to look Ayumi directly in her eyes. His guilt won over as he finally allowed a bit of truth to slip, "...He wanted me to keep you here to rest. So, please, just stay here for now. I can try to see if he'll come to you but..." He trailed off, uncertainty heavy in his tone. It was the least he could do, but he wasn't sure if it'll actually work.

 

[Keylyn May]

Ayumi felt Jun's hands on her shoulder, preventing her from getting up. She didn't fight hard, even though she was worried. She didn't feel up to fighting against Jun's attempts to stop her, still feeling a little weak. And while she believed his words about her being too weak to walk around at the moment, she was skeptical about Byakuren being alright. He was never alright right after something that involved her. While his memory of her was gone, she learned that he still held similar feelings. Therefore, why should his actions prove any different?

"Are you sure he is okay?" she asked after Jun had spoken of Byakuren wishing for her to rest. "Byakuren never takes these things easy and will feel personally responsible. He has to know he is not." As she spoke, she settled down once more pulling the coverings closer to her. Her stomach was full now and she was finding her arrangement rather comfortable. As Jun offered to see if Byakuren would come to visit, she nodded quickly. "Please, try to get him to come. Don't push him too hard, but I do want to see him." Due to her fuzzy memories of last night, she couldn't quite recall the last state she would've seen him in. She also needed to know that he was okay. What if he had gotten wounded and she didn't remember? What if he was hurting, and here she was relaxing and hidden away? She glanced out the window, uncertainty beginning to form in her stomach. Jun said he was okay, but she knew that Byakuren could hide whatever he wanted. He could be hiding away his hurt again.

 

[LONELYRAIN]

Jun's expression grew more uncomfortable with Ayumi's insistence, her quick nod only being the final nail in the coffin for the man to fully give in. A sigh left the man's lips, turning on his heel as he stepped toward the door, and had exited, going off to try and see if Byakuren would heed Ayumi's request. Don't push him too hard, huh? I don't even know how to even bring this up. A frown settled deep upon the man's features as he closed the door securely behind him, beginning to walk down the familiar pathway out of the old chapel and into the surrounding fort, now looking about for a flash of white hair amongst the now bustling camp. Where he had left Byakuren, the oni had been resting upon an old rations box, so it would stand to reason that maybe the oni could still be there? After all, Jun highly doubted that he would just leave Ayumi behind. It would only cast the oni in an even worse light if he had, at least in Jun's mind.

Amidst the camp's inhabitants, Jun's gaze finally settled upon the familiar shape although remaining eerily still in the place Jun had left him, which caused the man's expression to wrinkle with distaste as he approached. Here goes nothing, I guess. A chill went down his spine as the oni's eyes turned on him as he approached, the bright ruby red seeming to be piercing through the man as his steps slowed. The sudden pressure in the atmosphere feeling as if it were suddenly weighing down on the man as he took in a breath and exhaled, planting his feet firmly in the dirt before the oni as he cast a glance to the dried blood covering his side, shifting his gaze stubbornly back up to Byakuren's crimson once more, "Look, you need to talk to her."

...​

An interaction that took a long back and forth between the two had left Byakuren more exhausted than before. However, to know that Ayumi desired to see him... even if he thought that perhaps he shouldn't be grateful for such a thing, had placed a tiny bit of relief in his chest. The oni's steps were heavy, following the directions that Jun had directed him to go in the chapel, his hesitation turning into nervousness and eventually spiraling anxiety. He had failed her, she shouldn't be wanting to see him at all, wasn't he a danger to her? Hadn't he failed in protecting her? So, why? He closed his eyes tightly as the questions spiraled about in his mind, Jun's previous words regarding him "having done enough", being a harsh weight upon his shoulders. Had he only brought harm to Ayumi since he'd returned?

Doubt and self-loathing coiled and writhed in his chest as he stopped before the door, staring at it in silence. His body felt suddenly quite cold, despite the heat that wafted in from the outside, it felt immeasurably chilly. Inhaling deeply, the oni braced himself as his hand gripped the handle, pushing in the door as his crimson eyes settled upon Ayumi, expression settled into one that was empty and calm as he took the place where Jun had been seated. However, one thing that Byakuren could already feel regret over was that he didn't ask for a change of tunic, the thin fabric of the one supplied to him by the oasis was stained with his own blood, dried and dark against the pale color background. Discomfort settled upon him as he shifted his position, arms crossing his chest as he stared blankly at Ayumi, struggling to bring himself to say something... anything. She certainly didn't seem as fragile as she had during the night, but she didn't seem completely better either.

Lowering his gaze, the oni's jaw clenched, his sharp nails sinking into the skin upon his arms; the slight pain it brought was nothing, not even close to even begin atoning for even a fraction of the fear Ayumi had to experience. "...I'm sorry." The apology finally came, empty and frigid past Byakuren's lips, trying to make himself impassive and calm, even if his mind and heart was ripping into itself, "...I failed you. I'm sorry." The apology was bitter upon his tongue, eyes closing tightly as he was unable to look directly at Ayumi, tension within every coiled muscle as he remained seated apart from her.

 

[Keylyn May]

Ayumi laid her head back as Jun left, not knowing if Byakuren would actually come. She shut her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath. Flashes of the night before began emerging, though she was still slightly confused as a lot was still fuzzy. Saburo, however, was one of the things that was clear. Whenever he was around, Ayumi was beginning to understand that terrible things happened. Thoughts of the children caused shivers to course through her though she quickly shook her head to vanish the horrid pictures.

She heard the door open once more and glanced over to see Byakuren taking a seat where Jun had been sitting. She sat up gently once more, a soft smile on her lips, though her gaze did not miss the blood on his clothing. She watch the tension in his body, the way his jaw was working, and the way his nails dug into his arms. I was right, she thought, sadness flashing into her gaze at seeing him this way. Then came his apologies.

At his words, Ayumi shifted gently in order to reach out and set one of her hands upon his arm. She kept her touch light, looking up at him even though his eyes were shut. "I'm okay," she murmured softly. "This was not your fault." She knew he wouldn't believe her, at least not right away, as she could see he harbored responsibility for all of this. "You didn't know he was there..." Saburo was the reason for the monstrosity last night, the horrid events, and her frightened state. At least, that was how Ayumi viewed it.

Gently, she removed her hand to return it to her lap, looking down at her two palms as they lay against her coverings. "I just... I wasn't... strong enough..." She whispered. No matter how much she tries, Ayumi is constantly reminded of why her kind do not survive long here. No matter how much she tries to grow stronger, it is answered by some new event that threatens her very life. After losing Byakuren the way she had, Ayumi was sure she'd be able to face a lot more. Clearly she was wrong, however, at the sight of the children.

 

[LONELYRAIN]

The guilt seemed to intensify as Byakuren heard Ayumi begin to move, even if she had smiled at him as he walked in, did he truly deserve it? No, he didn't. He knew full that he didn't, especially after he'd not tended to her properly. Wasn't she supposed to be important to him? Even in his faded memories, fractured and distorted, he knew that Ayumi was someone that he simply could not fathom living without; so why? Why did it feel like she consistently was in danger whenever she was with him? Why couldn't he protect her better? For all the strength that now surged in his body, he could not heal her mind, nor shield her from any and all harm. His mind continued the downward spiral, sinking underneath an sickening wave of guilt only for Ayumi's gentle touch to stem the flow of emotion. He could feel her gaze on him, causing the oni's eyes to finally open, settling upon her gentle hand on one of his muscled arms. So small, so breakable... The guilt flowed stronger within him as she had assured him that she was okay.

He weathered the words of reassurance for him, allowing her to attempt to ease his pain, his guilt. And of course, mentioning Saburo even not by name was enough to put a bitter taste in his mouth as his nails dug in deeper to his skin, although not yet breaking the surface. And then her final words had prompted the oni to finally begin to speak, though his voice was low for the sake of not desiring to startle her, a precaution since she'd been in such a fragile state when they had arrived, "...You.. weren't strong enough?" The question he repeated, it echoed and seemed so foreign on his tongue that he shook his head immediately, "Ayumi, no. That is far from the truth." His eyes shifted upward to her, finally forcing himself to look upon her face. She was mortal, her life would be fleeting. This world, his realm... it was not meant for her. She was strong to be able to withstand so much, it would be inevitable that it would eventually cause her to collapse under the strain. Wasn't he just being selfish in this lingering emotion of trying to keep her with him? But, after she went so far to try to bring him back... But... maybe even that was because she had no other choice... That thought stung, although it seemed to have made sense. Although he didn't remember much, he probably would have protected her from any harm, maybe he was her shield? A bit of familiarity in a place that he had whisked her away to due to some long lost selfish reason?

Had he been the one to cause her to be put under so much strain? His decisions cost her dearly, was that what he was seeing the results of? That making this human woman his mate would end up killing her, or maybe even worse? His expression turned grim, a sharp exhale of breath leaving him as he forced himself to speak, though his thoughts were certainly making it difficult, "...I was - no, I am supposed to be capable of protecting from anything. But, I can't help but think... what was I thinking, bringing you here into this realm? Even if I can no longer remember the reason, all it seems is my decision has caused you so much unnecessary pain. You do not need to go through this..." But, I can't take it back. He could not fix the "mistake" he'd made, forever changing her life to what he was blaming himself for making worse. He knew, as long as she was by his side, she would always be in danger. His father would not relax, not give up until Byakuren was under heel, and Ayumi didn't need to continue to see such disturbing sights. Didn't she already go through enough? His expression seemed to grow slightly more stressed as he turned his gaze to the floorboards.

He would never have the strength to be able to leave Ayumi, he knew that. And the thought he would never entertain for long, for his emotions kept him chained to her, as if the bond forged between them couldn't be easily broken now. Not after all they had went through, but he did feel guilt that she had been put under so much mental strain and it only was brought to his attention when she had broke underneath the stress. What if she had never recovered? What would he had done? More of the self-loathing thoughts came to haunt him, causing the oni to shift his position, the sound of the chair creaking underneath his weight had filled the brief silence, his steps coming to her bedside as he then had crouched down to be on eyelevel with her, laying his head upon her lap slowly as he closed his eyes, stress making the oni's body tense, muscles locking into place, "...I don't know what else I can do." Physically protecting her was one thing, but how could he ensure her mental state was not impacted again? Focusing on that would perhaps be the better option, rather than allowing his mind to shift through fuzzy memories and making guilt choke him.

 

[Keylyn May]

Ayumi heard Byakuren finally speak, repeating her own words. He seemed to question them, and she glanced over to see his gaze finally opening to meet her own. She heard him deny her words. She had a feeling this would be his response, but she still felt that she was partially to blame. This world was not meant for humans. She was like an insect here, something he had made sure she understood in the first days here. She was not able to hold her own against an oni, in any respect, so who could expect her to hold her own against Osamu's creatures. Because of this, she had always relied on Byakuren to be there for protection, so tell her what to do in dangerous situations. What help was she truly when lives were on the line?

As Byakuren began to speak of the times when they first arrived, he seemed to be questioning the very reason for bringing her. Was he regretting it now? Pain pierced her heart at the thought, shaking her head lightly. Long ago, she had had a conversation with Kenshin regarding male oni. She recalled how he spoke of how they were supposed to be the protectors, the strength, and the providers of their species. She understood why Byakuren took these things so hard now, but he couldn't have known all of this was going to unfold. She watched as he began to move, coming closer to lay his head on her lap. She watched for a few moments, hearing his words about not knowing what else to do. A soft smile came to her lips as she gently moved her hand to run it through his white hair.

"We first came here because you were hurt, and I was hungry," she stated softly, her fingers running through the locks of hair as she reflected on their beginning. "You couldn't feed me what you ate day to day, but you hated the idea of coming here again." She recalled the first meeting with Yumi and Izumi, and how the pieces slowly began to fall into place. "However, while here, you made sure that I understood that I was not safe and that I needed to be careful, all while making sure that I was fed, clean, and clothed." Her amber gaze trailed over his form, always finding it hard to believe that someone so strong would think of themselves so weak. "From then on, you never stopped putting me first."

Her fingers continued dancing yet remained featherly-light. She knew that these things were physical and that the worry from last night was her mental state of mind. "As for what you can do," she murmured, leaning forward slightly in order to place a gentle kiss upon Byakuren's forehead. "Don't leave me," she whispered against the spot her lips had just been. She pulled back slightly, a sadder look coming to her gaze. "I lost you once in the palace to Osamu, I lost you a second time when you died on that beach..." She shook her head lightly, turning her head to look out the window. She grew silent for a few moments as if trying to gather herself and her thoughts. Flashes of the events came at their mention; the worst moments of her life here.

"You gave me a choice," she began again, "to leave this place if I wanted to. You gave me the opportunity to walk away from this realm. I told you I wouldn't." A ghost of a smile reappeared, though her gaze still remained on the scenery beyond the window. "But when...when things happen... and you keep your distance from me, I worry about you." She looked back at Byakuren, remembering her worry from earlier with Jun, and all the times before. Her voice dropped to a whisper, her head shaking side to side once more. "I can't lose you a third time... I can't... And when you vanish, I worry..." She knew that it was his response to these things: to keep his distance and give her time. Yet, when that time is given, Ayumi only ever thinks of Byakuren and if he is hurt, recalling the beach all too well.

 

[LONELYRAIN]

Byakuren closed his eyes once more as she moved her hand through his hair, the motion itself was soothing despite the chaos within the oni's mind. As she begun to recount their beginnings, the memories stirred, although nonsensical and fragmented in some places; he recalled a mountain pass, the rocky terrain holding little to no signs of life, and the carriage... Recalling the carriage in particular had made the oni's muscles locked more into place, remembering the bloody remnants of his rampage, how he had ripped Ayumi from the carriage to drag her off. Though the memory was still broken in some places, not recalling the full events, it disturbed him greatly. Their journey to this realm also was beginning to resurface, leading up to the eventual arrival at the palace. Any further memory was frustratingly locked behind an impassable wall that refused to yield further, prompting the oni to force himself to relax again, though the bright crimson of his eyes had darkened. Was he some sort of monster? Well, certainly. To a human, that was all he could be, and yet Ayumi claimed she loved him. Why? From what he could remember, there was no reason for her to. He had nearly killed her himself.

These thoughts halted temporarily as his attention was drawn fully to her as she had placed a kiss on his forehead, punctuated by the simple plea to not leave her. This caused his expression to soften, with her recounting the times he'd been ripped away from her side. "But-" He began, but he never finished the sentence, as he saw her look to the small window within the room, the sadness in her eyes making his heart drop. He would never be able to finish his sentence; not now. Not when there was so much pain in her eyes, leaving her side was not an option. It would probably do more harm to her than good, and he wanted to prevent her from feeling any sort of pain, any sort of discomfort. Lowering his gaze back to the thin sheet covering her legs, he continued to listen to her, choosing not to speak. If she knew what could help her best, he would fulfill it without fail. He couldn't afford to fail, not again.

Hearing that he'd already given her a choice before and she willingly chose to stay was baffling to him. Why would she? That was something that he was sure he probably wouldn't be able to ever understand, considering if he always prioritized her safety, her decision to stay just didn't make any logical sense. She was willingly putting herself in harm's way to be at his side, despite her breaking under the stress, she still desired for him to stay with her. I don't understand. He wouldn't blame her if she lashed out at him, for he felt it would be deserved. But, she never would do such a thing, would she? No, she wasn't that type of person. In his mind, he felt as if he probably regarded her quite highly, far better than someone like himself. Eventually, when she had finished speaking, the oni had finally raised his head, meeting her gaze once more as his hands moved, gently cupping the sides of her face, leaning forward and placing a soft, gentle kiss upon her lips.

"..I won't leave your side, if you don't desire me to." He needed to reassure her first, to ease her worry. If him being with her made her happy, by all means he would do so. Leaning away from her, his eyebrows furrowed, a familiar sign of him still struggling with his thoughts, but for now he would not push the issue. "Besides, I'm a lot stronger now, I won't be leaving you anytime soon." He gently grasped hold of her hand, though the hold would feel like a normal grip, he was being extremely careful with her as he usually would. "But, are you sure that is all I can do for you?" To him, it seemed his presence was still causing more harm than good, and if being by her side eased the anxiety he would willingly stay... yet part of him couldn't help but think such a thing wasn't enough.

 

[Keylyn May]

Ayumi watched as Byakuren moved, his gaze coming up to meet hers once more. She smiled softly as she felt his hand come up and cup the side of her face, followed by a kiss. She sighed softly, her gaze moving to watch as his hand took a hold of her own. She relaxed a little more at his words. Of course, she knew he was stronger now. She had no doubt that he could handle so much more than before, but that still worried her a bit. He still had his limits too, right?

At his question, Ayumi looked at his gaze as a soft, gentle smile began to appear. "What would you suggest for me?" she asked gently. She had the feeling he was still struggling with his thoughts, struggling with making sure she was truly fine. Her free hand came up to gently lay upon the side of his neck, and the fingers of her hand that was held by his own began to move gently to rub at his skin. "What would convince you that I am okay now?" She could still feel that he was trying to be extra gentle with her, though she could hardly blame him. Her episode the night before seems to have worried everyone. Including herself. Things were still fuzzy, though she was trying not to dwell on them too much. She was safe now. She was away from everything and resting. Another couple of hours, perhaps a day, and she would be back to normal like nothing ever happened. This she was sure of. And if Yumi was coming with the group soon, she would need to make sure she was back to normal. There was a lot to catch Yumi up on without any extra worry.

((sorry, rushed))