Realistic or Modern City Living

A_Writer · Oct 17, 2018

Holly didn't realize that Cara's words were coming with their own hidden intentions. She was oblivious to hidden meanings as it stood, so given that, there was no chance that she would suspect that someone who was her friend was trying to goad her towards doing something simply to validate her own feelings. It was strange how Cara had changed over the past few months, even if Holly didn't notice the deeper effects of it. She had noticed that Cara had stopped hanging out with her, but Makayla had attributed it to the blonde being busy, and Holly had no reason to not believe that. It was a big adjustment given that they had previously hung out multiple times a week, and now Holly typically only saw her in passing, but she didn't think it stemmed from anything personal. Had she been capable of paying attention and thinking more deeply into it, she would have noticed that Cara was more different than just that. She was colder and more callous. Before recently, at least when Holly was concerned, Cara showed her heart and that she had the capability of being a good person simply to be a good person. Maybe it was the weather, colder and darker, that was bringing the girl's personality down with it. Maybe Cara was just truly a damaged girl, wrapped up in her own issues to an extent that she was was becoming something inhuman. Situations that were supposed to invoke compassion and sympathy didn't seem to rattle her. It was hard to blame such behavior on mere selfishness because Cara hadn't always been that way. Even just simply comparing how she had behaved in Disney World under similar circumstances, to how she was now, represented a stark difference.

Ruby and Chanel were acting outside of their responsibilities as people and roommates, but within the realm of how a good person would react. Luckily, Holly wasn't distraught. She was upset to an extent of having her afternoon ruined and her self-esteem hurt (at least for a few days), but she wasn't crying and shaking and inconsolable. Maybe Ruby's training had taught her the proper way to do things out of a textbook, but in this particular situation, Holly really was probably best off by finishing her movie and cookies, and then going off to bed. She didn't come from a background where people sat down at the dining room table to discuss their problems before hugging it out and having everything be all right again. It was definitely a more healthy way to respond to problems than how she was taught to, but she was already sixteen, and by now, certain things worked to make her feel better and others didn't. She and Makayla's situation was unconventional in a lot of ways, so nothing they ever did was by the book. They had found their own way to survive and cope with things, and while Ruby didn't know it, issues like this were rare. If anyone was the victim in this particular situation, it was Makayla, but no one would know that because she was too strong and strung out on the notion of being independent to admit it. She was the one who was taking care of someone else's kid. She was the one who had sacrificed her teenage years to do the same. She gave up finishing her associate's degree, her dream of getting her bachelor's degree, and any sort of social life to take care of Holly. She worked shitty jobs, turned to prostitution, and dealt with the high rent in this neighborhood because she knew that it took a nicer area to get a suitable education for someone with Holly's needs. She had done all of this without looking for any acknowledgement. No one else in the room would do the same had they lived in Makayla's shoes. No one could be expected to. Now, all Makayla had wanted was to finish her degree She had one semester left and then she could finally get a decent paying job and normalize their lives. She had quit one job and was going to spend months working full time with no pay in an internship, with the only expectation that Holly be able to get home from school on her own, and Holly couldn't do it. No one could blame Makayla for being angry, upset and frustrated.

"She won't yell at me again. She already did that," Holly answered quietly, but with certainty. Her attention had almost fully returned to the television by then. She was still nervous that Makayla wouldn't return at all, but as time passed, the tense energy from earlier was slowly beginning to fade and with each passing minute, she became more certain that curling up in bed sounded like a nice plan. "How did you get to have so much money?" she asked after taking another bite of her cookie, then turning to Cara with a sudden bout of curiosity. "Makayla only gets upset about money and her job and if we had money like you do, she would never get upset. Maybe you could give some of yours to us."

lauren. · Oct 17, 2018

Ruby clearly was being wildly dramatic on the phone, because Holly was fine. There was no denying that there was something off about her, because she was never this relaxed or indifferent, especially in the presence of others and especially when Makayla wasn't around to yell at her for being overbearing, but she wasn't in dire need of help. Truth be told, if Cara didn't feel like she need to come out of this looking better than Chanel, then she would have agreed that letting Holly watch television and then go to bed would have been the best course of action. Anyone who knew Holly knew that when she said she was tired, she was likely going to pass out and not be a bother for the rest of the night, and on top of that, if Holly of all people requested to go to bed, it meant that she probably needed it. At this point, Cara didn't know what to do though. Holly wasn't budging, and Cara obviously couldn't force her across the hall when there was no major threat here. Even if she would be the first to claim that Makayla was a dangerous drug addicted low life, if she were being honest, she would admit that there was no way that Makayla would really damage Holly in any physical way. Cara was confident that Makayla wasn't fit to care for her for a plethora of reasons, but being physically abusive to a point where any authorities needed to be involved wasn't a fit for this situation. The idea that she just was put into a worse mood than she was in, and wasted her time, rubbed her the wrong way too, though. She felt like she needed to come out of this situation with something to show for it. Something to serve as a pat on the back and an acknowledgment that she was a good person, if for no other reason than to prove a point to Chanel, who had spoken on her character a little while ago. Cara didn't take to criticism kindly, and it invoked an almost competitive spirit in her. It would lead to disingenuous kindness, yes, but kindness nonetheless, and that was what counted in her eyes.

"People get a lot of money from working hard," Cara said. She specifically said "people" rather than "I" because she was aware that she hadn't worked for her money, and she didn't need Holly to inadvertently call her out for that by asking her what kind of work she did to get a lot of money. "Once Makayla gets a good job she'll be about to stop worrying about money," she continued, as if it was that easy. "You're probably old enough to get a job too." Realistically, Holly probably wasn't capable of doing most jobs. She couldn't count, so anything involving a cash register was out of the question. Her attention span was so short that even something like restocking books at the library or putting away merchandise in a store seemed like a hard pass. "Ruby's mom and dad have a dog, I think. Maybe you could be their dog walker." Admittedly, she smirked inwardly at the feeling of screwing Ruby over by forcing her to now have to deal with what would likely be Holly's persistent enthusiasm over the idea, but it wasn't a bad idea. It would be a fun thing for Holly, an opportunity to teach her responsibility, and offer her a chance to feel useful. "And if you do need money you know that you can always ask me," she offered at the end, feeling uncomfortable, but nonetheless, feeling like it had to be addressed somehow.

cure · Oct 17, 2018

Chanel didn't like the dynamics here and she was starting to get confused and a little frustrated. Her patience was a lot thinner simply because it had been a long, strange and stressful day., and on top of that, she was uncharacteristically anxious. Being a typically confident person, she wasn't used to dealing with not being that. All of that together, her mood and energy was poor, which mostly explained why she wanted to just clasp her hands together and ask Ruby what she wanted to do because Chanel really had no clue. She didn't have her own life together and she was the least qualified person to be helping anyone because she needed saving herself. Besides that, though, Ruby was actually starting to make Chanel anxious on her own. She definitely knew that there was a situation, an unresolved one at that, but that didn't mean it needed to be treated like a scene. Chanel knew the different angles of this scenario, which probably explained why she was more patient and less tense than Ruby was from it, and despite knowing this, it was hard for her to not feel on edge. Chanel really had fewer answers than she felt like Ruby expected her to have. There wasn't really a right answer in this situation, at least it didn't feel like, but there definitely were bad ones, unnecessary ones. The way Ruby was going on, and with ideas that just seemed crazier and crazier, it made sense that Chanel would be a little spooked. It made Chanel wonder if Ruby herself was abused at a child and this was some sort of trigger and perhaps that was why she was being this way.

It brought a lot of pressure on Chanel, as she felt almost cornered and like she was supposed to be giving a certain answer despite already offering her suggestion. It was like Ruby wanted some type of dramatics despite coming to Chanel with advice on the situation, since she would understandably be the best one to come to. It was even more pronounced, though, because of the set up, that really only Chanel would be able to pick up on. She already felt cornered and isolated because Ruby was starting to stress her out and she felt like she was now supposed to be giving the right answer (to a professional no less), but when she looked around the room, she was the only one like her. Sure, they were all women, but Chanel wasn't simply a woman. She's a black girl and that added descriptor meant she moved through life a lot different than the others in the room because her womanhood would could second to those surrounding her. But not only that, she wasn't home to millions upon millions like Ruby and Cara. It was that additional power on top of the other dynamics that caused Chanel a bit of stress. Even if logistically there was no way for Chanel to be in trouble should cops get involved, she still couldn't help but feel unnerved and like she was walking on ice because it felt like Ruby was projecting towards her, and therefore like she had more responsibility than she actually did. And in many ways, she did. She was raised and socialized to be aware of her vulnerabilities; that she would somehow always be predator and prey. When she was just a kid, she learned this fairly quickly. She was reassuring a crying white girl who had fallen and scraped her knee when the girl's mother came over and instantly blamed Chanel. So in a way she was responsible because she would always be looked to as the perpetrator, even when trying to help. She could also only assume that if Ruby was connected with Cara in some way, that she was well aware and well capable of turning things so that they got ugly. This was precisely why she felt like she was walking on thin ice, because she could only see things turning against her if she wasn't in Ruby's good favor because if things went left, only Ruby's word would really be able to protect her. Cara feeling vindictive towards her also didn't help her matter. And it didn't matter if she knew Ruby was a nice person and well intended (which she didn't necessarily because she didn't know the girl like that), in situations like this she was forced to strip the formalities and focus on the niceties. Things didn't have to be her fault for her to be held responsible. She had to be fearful, even if illogically so, because that kept her aware of her position in the world, and being aware of her position kept her alive.

She was instantly regretting even explaining the situation. Even Makayla just saying some unkind things to Makayla didn't seem to warrant moving the girl somewhere else, not to mention it'd be totally illegal. She wasn't trying to absolve Makayla of any responsibility, but she didn't know Ruby well enough to just go off her word and trust it alone. The best way to handle things, for her at least, was to take it step by step and as calmly as possible. Chanel took a step back, her way of trying to remove herself from the situation in some form. She chewed her lip for a second and swallowed the nervous lump in her throat. Though Makayla would be the one to suffer the most consequences of this, because not only was she black and a woman, but she was poor and taking care of a white child, she secretly wished the girl was her. At least there'd be someone else here who could feel the weird feelings she felt. She knew they might not have made sense in theory which only caused her more anxiety. "Ummm," she hummed, trying to read Ruby for the right thing to say that would keep things as calm as possible. "I don't really know what you want me to say. I don't think any of that's a good idea, to be honest... Just the sound of that is, like, freaking me out, so I know that would freak Holly out. I think she's already pretty confused so doing all of that would just make things worse. I mean, she's more nervous about Makayla not returning than anything else. I know it's a situation," she said before lowering her voice. "But she doesn't need to know that. I told her everything's going to be fine and you calling the cops or taking her on a road trip is the opposite of going to be fine, and isn't going to help. Especially not Makayla, who is the only person between her," Chanel said nodding towards Holly, "and the system, so you might want to think of her a bit too because if there was someone else to help out, getting Holly back home wouldn't have been a problem." Chanel didn't mean to come across as rude, but it was especially frustrating having to explain something that someone of much greater privilege couldn't even conceive of. "I know you're the professional and everything, so maybe I'm wrong, but I'm telling you the best place and way to handle this is here. I'm not saying just put a band-aid on it, but I'm saying let's not turn this into a circus show, all right? If you really knew the situation, which you don't because that's why you're coming to me, you'd know just how outlandish it is to think Makayla would come back and beat Holly out of her sleep. And to think I'd let that happen. I know you don't know me, but I don't know you either, so I'm not going to agree with you taking her to your place." Chanel twisted the corners of her lips awkwardly as she folded her arms around her waist. There was no easy way to put any of that, so it couldn't be helped. "I'm not trying to be rude, but I'm just...I don't feel like you're being totally sensitive to the situation is all. I mean if you knew everything and you knew Makayla, you'd be worried about her too. I get you're trying to look out for Holly, and thank you, really, but...just chill out, all right?" She took the girl's shoulder and shook it some, trying to alleviate some of the tension, if only in her mind. "You're starting to fuck with the vibrations in the room and that's not good for any of us."

"Here, how about this," Chanel said as she opened the fridge once more and pulled out a carton of milk. "Why don't you..." She rinsed out a glass cup and poured some of the liquid into it before bringing it to Ruby and extended it towards her. "Give this to Holly, let her know she can take a shower if she wants to, and I'll see if I can't get Makayla on the phone," she said. "Give Holly some independence, let her feel like she has a bit of control over the situation, I confirm with Makayla that she's not going to drown Holly in the bathtub upon arrival, you get some peace of mind, and I maybe end up surviving to tomorrow. It's a win for everybody. Sound good?"

Bandit_ · Oct 19, 2018

As Makayla walked home, she wondered why this was her life. She had always wondered why this was her life from the start -- what she had possibly done in her last life that was so horrendous that she had been born into this one. Now, though, she wondered why this was her life in the present. Why she was still here. To an extent, she thought about it in a light tainted with suicidal thoughts, but she wasn't suicidal. Not to a point where she would actually kill herself. She didn't want to die. Life in itself wasn't bad. It was just her life that was bad, and she wondered why she hadn't changed it. There had to been times when she had wished that she could just disappear and leave all of this behind, but she had too strong of a conscience. It was one thing to leave all of your belongings behind, move, and just start over, but there was Holly. She was the only person keeping her here, and on days like today, Makayla couldn't help but to think that she was the only thing holding her back from having a decent life. It was a depressing thought, but to an extent, it was reality. Could she leave Holly? Makayla didn't even know if she legally could, let alone emotionally. She knew that this was not healthy though. It wasn't healthy that she was this stressed out, and it wasn't healthy that she was growing to resent Holly for where she was in life.

Even if Holly technically was a big reason for why she couldn't do much to improve her own situation, that wasn't Holly's fault either. As Makayla always reminded herself, Holly's life had consistently been less fortunate than her own. Makayla's childhood wasn't ideal. Her dad was a criminal and her mother was involved in drugs and petty crime too, but she was always taken care of, and never abused. Even after her mother walked out on them, her dad still provided for her. It was probably a pride thing more than true love. He always said that he wasn't going to have "his blood" dressing badly or not being able to fit in with the other kids. Makayla still flinched at a memory she had from a year or so after Holly and her mother moved in. Holly's mother was strung out on drugs and had called Makayla a bitch for a reason Makayla couldn't recall, and before she could even react, her father had backhanded the woman so hard that she had fallen to the floor and was left with a bloody nose. Her dad wasn't a good person by any means, but in his own sick way, he had taken care of Makayla. Holly never had that. Her mother allowed her to be used and abused in every sense of the phrase. She had no one to take care of her, love her, or protect her. She easily could have ended up as one of the news stories that ended in a child's body being found in a trash can or washed up on the shore of a beach or lake with no one coming to claim it. It was really that bad, and yet somehow, she survived. Not only survived, but thrived. Maybe not academically or mentally, but she was happy and positive and full of life. She rebounded from such a tragic life so seamlessly, and while she definitely needed therapy of her own to address a lot of the things that went on, Holly was stronger than anyone Makayla knew. Including herself.

Knowing that didn't make her feel any better though. It didn't take away her own stress, frustration, and anger. A few steps into the apartment, and she was reminded that when you think things can't get any worse, they do. They always do. As she headed towards the staircase, she tripped over herself and her bottle of liquor slipped from her hands, shattering on the floor beside the staircase. Part of her wanted to laugh. This really was her fucking life. The epitome of it. Had she not been on the verge of taking a piece of glass and stabbing herself with it, she would have cared enough to attempt to clean it up, but the first floor residents or management were going to have to deal with it now. She didn't know what she was going to do once she got upstairs. She didn't even know why she was going back up.

A_Writer · Oct 19, 2018

"Does her dog look like one of these ones?" Holly asked, pointing back towards the television. The idea of being able to play with and walk Ruby's dog was exciting. Holly had never walked a real dog before. On any other day, Cara probably would not have been able to finish her sentence before Holly would have been on her feet, bounding over to Ruby to ask when she could take her up on Cara's offer. She would have asked her what breed it was, if it was big or little, if it had soft fur or short hair that felt prickly when you rubbed it, what it's name was and if she had a picture of it. When Ruby came over, Holly would probably ask her most of those questions still, but she didn't have the energy or unchecked enthusiasm that she would need to get off of the couch right now. She was too tired and comfortable. Her body and mind were just settling down, and she had just picked up her second cookie, so between that and the movie, she was occupied. Again, it spoke to the whole situation of the moment because normally a suggestion like that would have had Holly consumed with excitement and energy, but it was what it was.

"And I do need money," she stated confidently with a nod of her head. Makayla probably would have smacked her for asking for money. Not only was it obviously impolite and awkward, but no one wanted to sound desperate or in need of help from anyone else. Holly didn't really comprehend those societal standards that came with it. In her eyes, Cara had said that she would give her money if she needed it. She needed money because Makayla always talked about how they didn't have any, and Holly knew that that stressed her out. If Cara could give her some, that problem would be solved, and Holly would have good news to cheer Makayla up with when she returned. "Maybe like one thousand dollars so we can buy a house with a backyard." That seemed like a reasonable request.

cure · Oct 23, 2018

Chanel returned to her room momentarily to toss her outerwear onto the bed. She felt a desperate need to take a shower, or even better, a bath. All she wanted to do was lounge in hot water with a few candles burning and a glass of wine in her hand. She wanted the day to just be done with, but even tomorrow she would still be busy. Chances were strong that while tomorrow would (hopefully) be void of all the dramatics of today, it would have its own difficulties because she would be exhausted since Chanel was sure she wouldn't be getting any real sleep tonight. She cupped her palm under the faucet in her bathrom before scooping it into her mouth and rinsing it. She'd felt nauseous for the past several minutes, and she couldn't shake the feeling. The more she was left with her thoughts, the worst it got, so she quickly dried her hands and left her room. It probably didn't seem to make the most sense going to the hallway to call Makayla, but for Chanel's sake, it felt the best. She needed to at least feel like she was out of that environment. If she wasn't too lazy, she'd even step outside, but then she's have to climb all those steps again. Just as she pulled out her phone, she caught a glimpse of a body from her peripheral. She instinctively glanced over and looked away, registering that it was Makayla a bit later. She lowered her phone from her ear and gave the girl the sweetest smile she could muster. "There you are," she said. She didn't know the girl too well, and Chanel was known for crossing boundaries, but a part of her just needed this for herself, so she walked across the hall towards the girl with her arms stretched out and embraced her. She released her after a couple of seconds and held one of her hands. "I was just about to call you. Are you okay?"

Makayla wasn't thinking as quickly as she normally was, so it caught her by surprise when she stepped onto the floor and a few steps in, was greeted by Chanel. Chanel was a nice girl who always seemed to have sweet intentions. She was a non-problematic roommate which was nice, and it was even better that she was no only not a bother, but actually likeable. Makayla ocassionally smoked with her and was able to appreciate the girl's company and conversation when those occasions arose. She liked Chanel, and had enough respect for her on that level that she had felt compelled to answer the phone earlier and be cordial, and that she remained an emotionless face now, even if she was ready to strangle someone, and a hug wasn't what she really wanted. "I'm good," she nodded, trying to fake a smile, but barely being able to bring one to her lips. "She's been pissing me off lately, but I'm good," she continued, nodding again as if she needed that reassurance herself. The "she" that she was referring to was obviously Holly. Makayla didn't think that she was going to need to go off on Holly again tonight, but that was only because she assumed that the girl would have had enough sense after she left to follow her last instruction and spend the rest of the night in her room. As she took a breath, again trying to bring a smile to her lips to assure Chanel that she was okay, she was momentarily glad that the vodka bottle had shattered a couple feet away from her body. She would have been perfectly content returning to the apartment with an intact bottle in hand, but it seemed preferable to come as she was now than to come with no bottle in sight, but reeking/covered in liquor that had innocently spilled.

Chanel nodded silently. "Well, it's a good thing you're back," she said. "Holly was worried about you not returning, so she'll be happy to see you." She didn't know that Holly was meant to be in bed or else she would have been sure to mention that the girl was going to sleep soon. She wasn't entirely sure what to say in this situation. She wanted to fix everything, but she didn't know how, and she was tired herself. "Plus Ruby is literally freaking out, coming to all sorts of ideas and conclusions, and I feel like you being back will just settle everything because...it's just a little weird right now. Oh, and Cara is there FYI. She didn't want to help to begin with, so I don't know why she's there, but just to let you know, that's what you're walking into." She rubbed her hands together and looked back towards the doorway for no other reason than to move about. She looked back at Makayla then. "I want to help, but I'm not sure, plus I don't really know what's going on. Ruby kind of told me, but I don't know how much to believe because she's kind of being really extra, talking about calling the cops or taking Holly to her place. I mean, I don't want to get in you and Holly's business, but...I don't know. Just be careful with her, especially with Cara in the mix because we're not really on the best of terms right now and you know how she can be."

Makayla could tell that Chanel was stressed out, or at least uncomfortable with whatever was happening in the apartment. Normally just seeing that alone would have made her feel uncomfortable too, and then on top of that being verbally warned of everyone involved would have been the icing on the cake, but right now, she didn't really care. She cared - but not to an extent where it could push her further into the pit of emotional despair that she was currently managing to hide fairly well. That was the kind of person that Makayla typically was, though. She was very good at controlling her anger, and stress and sadness, even when she was past her breaking point. There were times when she snapped, though few and far between, as had happened earlier with Holly (and consequently Ruby, though Ruby's involvement could only be blamed on herself). Visible anger was scary, but hidden anger was often times more dangerous and powerful because control and restraint represented the ability to act in a more calculated manner. Makayla didn't have any devious plans to destroy anyone with her anger, though. For her, it was more of a coping method, or even a means of survival.

"That's white people for you, huh?" she commented, smiling at Chanel in a way that felt natural, but probably seemed inappropriately timed given that this conversation included the mention of police and things as severe as that. Makayla was not a fan of law enforcement in general. Actually, she wasn't a fan of the legal system that the country had in place in general, but that was a bigger story. Overall though, being a person of color statistically spoke to the fact that you were more likely to face legal troubles than a white person. You were going to be treated like an animal, given a skewed shot at justice, and punished more harshly for the same crime that a white person committed. Coming from a very poor neighborhood only enhanced all of these things. Not only was your skin color working against you, but you were automatically viewed as uneducated vermin. Makayla's situation made things even worse, because she was a person of color taking care of a white child. Anything she did wrong would automatically paint her as an evil villain, tainting the life of an innocent little white child with so much potential.

With all of that in mind, there was a part of her that couldn't hate Ruby for wanting to call the police. It was obviously inappropriate in this situation, as Makayla had not done anything to truly harm Holly, and Holly wouldn't be better cared for anywhere but here, but it was something that no one had ever done before. Makayla often wondered what would have happened if a concerned teacher, family friend, or even someone living in their house had reported the abuse that Holly endured, and the living conditions that they were subjected to, to the police. Again, as a child of color, it wouldn't have been shocking if even if action had been taken, it only would have been to remove Holly from the situation and not her. Regardless, there was a part of Makayla (albeit tiny) that hoped that Ruby's concern in regards to that was just misplaced yet genuine care for the well being of her sister.

"They love to get involved in shit that they have no business being in," she added, shaking her head, though her smile remained as she headed inside of the apartment.

lauren. · Oct 28, 2018

Though Chanel specifically stated that she wasn't trying to be rude, it was difficult for Ruby to not feel a bit offended by her words. She wasn't too caught up in her feelings, though- at least not to an extent where she was too consumed by them to focus on the bigger issue here. She just still felt like this was going to end up as something that would be brushed under the rug in the end. She understood Chanel's point of view, and she also understood that she was asking for advice, and that if she truly felt like she needed to do something more, she had the power to do it. Ruby was typically good at seeing other people's point of views on things. She wasn't opinionated and in general, she truly was very open-minded. For obvious reasons, this was a different story. It wasn't a debate on politics or religion or where the best slice of pizza was sold in New York City. It was something that was far more personal for her. As it went though, she did have the power and option to take this farther, and it wasn't just because Chanel advised against it that she didn't do so. Something else in her heart told her that it probably wasn't the best option in this situation.

She accepted the glass of milk from Chanel and headed into the living room, a smile (albeit one lacking much emotion) on her face. She wondered how this was going to turn out. Was she going to have to apologize to Chanel tomorrow for being dramatic, but explain that she had seen precursors like these that had ended up representing much more dangerous situations? She hoped that that was what it came to, because she definitely did not want to be faced with something worse tomorrow and wish that she had done something more. "I come bearing the gift of milk," she said, smiling as she placed the glass of milk in front of Holly and sipped from her own cup of tea. "Chanel's speaking with Makayla on the phone," she said allowed, though she was looking at Cara. She didn't think the girl needed to waste her time there any longer, though there was a part of her that now hoped Holly would go back with Cara. If Chanel wasn't on board with having some sort of real conversation with her and Makayla about the severity of what had happened, and she didn't feel comfortable doing it on her own, then she did feel like maybe more time was needed for things to cool down before Holly interacted with her. Holly did seem okay, and now with her own uncertainty, she was beginning to feel like she needed to wait before intervening. Even if it was an odd situation because the parental figure was the one who she felt like she needed to speak against, she still felt the need to get some sort of permission from Makayla before really talking to Holly. A conversation outside of a roommate kind of conversation.

Chuckling, Cara shook her head. "You need a lot more than a thousand dollars to buy a house," she advised Holly. There probably wasn't a house worth living in in the states that cost less than a million dollars, but she wasn't sure how cheap houses were in the parts of the country that no one decent wanted to live in. Kentucky, Ohio, Detroit, anywhere in Florida that wasn't on a beach... could people really spend more than fifty grand to live there? "I'm not sure what her dog looks like. I think it's little," she said, redirecting the conversation back to something more casual. Ruby came over just then, and Cara's eyes followed her form as she placed the glass down and then sat down beside them. Of course Chanel was on the phone with her druggie abusive friend, probably comforting her and all. That wasn't shocking. "I guess you've got everything taken care of then," Cara announced, her voice sounding perky though as she stood, she gave Ruby a face that read, "yeah, right". "Holly, if you need anything, come over and see me, kay? I have ice cream that you need to come pick up, too."

Cara stood up and was able to take a few steps away before Ruby stopped her, getting up too. "Thank you for coming over," she whispered, once they were a few feet from Holly. "I appreciate it."

"Anything for a friend," Cara responded curtly, offering an emotionless and tight-lipped smile in return.

Bandit_ · Nov 1, 2018

Makayla passed by Cara on her way in, but didn't acknowledge her presence in any way. It wasn't meant as a move with any hidden meaning, but simply put, Makayla had bigger things to deal with right now. Plus, she wasn't in a mood where she could muster a fake smile to offer the girl even if she wanted to. She was tired... so fucking tired... but as always, things had to continue moving. Even from the perspective of an outsider, one had to realize that Makayla's life sucked. No one here could understand how she felt though. The thing was that no matter what happened to any of these people (she assumed - and was right, at least in regards to everyone present there now), if things went wrong, they always had someone to fall back on. Even if they all didn't have millions, if not billions, to fall back on, they had parents, and a house where the bills would be paid, to crash at until they got back on their feet. Makayla didn't have any of that. If things went wrong for her, what she was falling back on was maybe a homeless shelter, if there was space, which was pretty unlikely in the middle of the winter. Her credit sucked thanks to the outstanding credit card debt she owed, she had no degree, and most importantly, she had no family. The biological family that she had and knew on her father's side had cut her off after they found out that she was taking care of Holly. They were somehow convinced that Holly's mother was the rat that had snitched on her father, despite the fact that Holly's mother had went down for everything they had been involved in too, and that Makayla's involvement in Holly's life signified a betrayal. It wasn't like her father's family was made up of great people anyway, and Makayla didn't know if they would have helped her anyway, even if she wasn't involved in Holly's life, but at least that would have been something... an option... But no, she didn't even have that to cling to for hope. She had nothing and no one, only herself to depend on. If it was only herself to depend on to provide for herself only, that would have been one thing. Knowing that her own fate and Holly's rested on her shoulders was pressure that was too much to bear.

When Makayla spotted Holly on the couch eating a cookie, she could feel herself becoming angry... her face felt warmer, her hands so close to clenching. Chanel's comment about the police rang in the back of her mind though as she stepped past Ruby. She could have smacked Holly and asked her what the hell she was doing sitting there when she had told her to go to bed. Holly would have deserved it. She didn't though. As a person in her position, she didn't have the power to do that socially. She wasn't allowed to be angry without being seen as a violent criminal. She wasn't allowed to have a rough day without being seen as someone who was emotionally unstable. She wasn't allowed to struggle without being seen as someone unfit to care for a child. From a social standpoint in their society, Makayla had so much working against her that she wasn't allowed to be anything but perfectly composed unless she wanted to be criticized. And she didn't want that. Not today when she knew that it would only take one more comment from Ruby to have her climbing up to the roof and jumping from it.

She picked up the remote and shut off the TV before looking down at Holly. "Go to our room," she said. Her voice was not sharp or angry, just merely emotionless. She hoped that she still had a couple of Nyquils left from when Holly had been sick a few weeks back, though she wasn't sure whether she wanted to give them to Holly or take them herself to help this day come to a close faster. Despite being consumed by exhaustion, she didn't think she would be able to fall asleep with how worked up she was feeling. That thought was what prompted her to take out her phone.

To: Brooklyn
Do you have a Xanax I can have? I can pay you for it when I get paid

To: Nick
Do you have a Xanax I can have? I can pay you for it when I get paid

lauren. · Nov 17, 2018

When Makayla came in, Ruby expected something more than what she saw. In her defense, what she had dealt with earlier had been much more than this. She was sure that Chanel probably thought that she was an overreacting and paranoid drama queen, because Makayla seemed calm. She didn't seem happy, but that didn't matter. Not being happy wasn't any of their business. While Ruby still felt uncomfortable with the entire situation, she didn't know what to do other than to let it simmer down for now. She didn't think that it was something that should just be left alone permanently, because even if Makayla exhibited behavior like this once a year, it was unhealthy to be directed towards a child, but what else could she do right now? Intervention was sometimes the answer, and deescalation was sometimes the answer, and things like this deserved to be taken on a case by case basis. She hadn't actually seen her hit Holly, so she told herself that she wasn't being a horrible person by letting it go for now. Admittedly, even if she had planned on running errands later, Ruby now felt inclined to stay home just to make sure Holly's screams didn't go unheard if something happened later, but something told her that it was over for now. Holly did seem tired, and if she went to bed, things would likely quiet down for the night, both figuratively and literally.

With her cup of tea in hand, and Cara now gone, she retreated to her own bedroom. After a day of work herself, being able to settle down and focus on herself for the night would have been lovely, but she knew that her mind was going to keep her feeling anxious and uncomfortable until she did fall asleep. She lit some candles in her room, put on pajamas, and slid into bed, deciding that watching a comedy on Netflix would be her best shot at getting her mind off of it.

cure · Nov 20, 2018

Saturday, February 4, 2018 || 1:00 PM

cure · Nov 25, 2018

By this point, Chanel was both on a high and completely exhausted. She hadn’t gotten a decent night’s sleep since... She couldn’t actually say exactly, but she knew for sure she’d gotten terrible shut eye all this week, especially after Wednesday. Not having Friday classes was something that she had actually looked forward to when the semester started, but it was already proving to be futile. She couldn’t complain about working on her free school day because that was part of the reason why she had tried so hard to free up her schedule on Friday. She was planned to work as scheduled, and luckily for her, this week she was supposed to be closing, meaning she could finally get some much needed. After a chronically obnoxious coworker of her sent her a text asking if Chanel could cover her (again), the possibility of sleep escaped her again.

Technically she didn’t have to accept, and Chanel wasn’t so nice that she would willingly and knowingly let someone walk over her, but the only thing she could think about was the money she’d be losing otherwise. Her coworker’s lack of reliability was merely more than a slight aggravation, but now that it was basically a habit and Chanel felt like her hands were tied, it was even more annoying. If she were to put her foot down and let the girl miss her shifts, she’s surely be fired, but therein lied a problem for Chanel. Her coworker was a pain in the ass, and Chanel didn’t like feeling like a pushover which she knew was how her coworker saw her, but if the girl was fired, that meant saying goodbye to stacking up on extra hours.

Chanel had just slipped on her coat after an early shift and she was oddly grateful to escape the calm chatter and smell of fresh brew in turn for the biting frost outside. There was the high of successfully being on the go for the past week or so, but there was also the headache that was sitting in her temple from such constant activity as well as ignoring her life stressors. Wednesday itself was something she still hadn’t digested, from Cara to Makayla and Holly and even to her night at the hotel. She was tired, but the more she moved, the longer she was distracted. And that was a good thing because as she closed in on her apartment, everything she had been ignoring teased her.

As she walked to her mailbox and fidgeted through her pockets, silently praying she didn’t lose her keys, she decided that this was the perfect time to actually do something with her time—something she wanted to do. Despite it being another way of her trying to keep busy, it was nevertheless reasonable. She needed to decompress and do something fun. It was almost by instinct that she pulled her phone out to text Cara as she made her way up the stairs before having an aha moment. A part of her did feel guilty and she had considered reaching out to the girl, but Chanel figured it was too soon, but that was a risky assumption in thinking that there was any chance at all in rekindling things.

Bandit_ · Nov 29, 2018

Makayla was tired, but when was she not? She felt depressed and hopeless and exhausted seemingly all day, every day. The cold and dreary weather added to her mood for sure, and the fact that she had been so low on money lately meant that she had been sober for the past few days too, which didn't make things any better. What had happened earlier in the week had only made her feel worse (as expected). Makayla didn't regret snapping at Holly or Ruby, because they both deserved it, but she wished that they hadn't put themselves into those positions. She didn't feel guilty for her own actions because they still felt warranted, but she felt uncomfortable with the atmosphere in the apartment. Things with Holly were back to normal. Her relationship with her sister was one where things simply had to return to normal for them to function properly. Holly had woken up the next morning in her typical good mood, and Makayla hadn't brought up the incident since. She had called in sick to her internship on Thursday and Friday, and had done the same for her job at the night club, simply because she was so drained. She desperately needed money, but part of her had just stopped caring. What was the use in trying when no matter how hard she tried, she got no where?

Outside of the effect it had on her mood, Makayla disliked the cold weather because it meant that she had less to do with Holly. When it was warm out, they took walks in the park or just around the neighborhood to kill time. Holly could spent hours on dog "scavenger hunts" where they stayed out until she found all of the dogs on her list for the day. During the winter, they could go to the library or the museum on free museum days, but even just getting to those places was a drag when it was freezing outside. "Why don't you add this?" Makayla pointed to a picture of a fireplace in one of the many magazines scattered on the floor where she sat with Holly. Arts and crafts had proved to be a good winter activity, and before she had quit her retail job, she had stocked up on the magazines that the store threw out once they got more recent issues in. All it took was some construction paper, glue and the (free) magazines for Makayla to keep Holly occupied for hours this afternoon. All it took was a suggestion of a new "theme" and she seemed to be capable of keeping Holly entertained. They had one sheet filled with blue items that Holly had found and cut out, another with red ones, one with food items, one with a bunch of people that she had found and turned into a make believe family, and so on. The scene that they were currently constructing was supposed to be a family on Christmas morning. As Holly had put it, the pretend family had a lot of money, since the entire bottom half of the page was covered in cut-out toys.

Collapsed · Nov 30, 2018

Nick wasn't the smartest person, or the most personable, or the most well-rounded, but he was a good businessman. If he had the interest and the drive, he probably would have succeeded in the nine to five business world. He didn't understand numbers the same way that a mathematician did, and he didn't know money the way that investors did, but what he had a solid grasp on was how to sell a product, how to gauge an audience, and most importantly, how to turn a profit. His drug business was more successful than anyone really knew, simply because he was a quiet person. He didn't flaunt what he had, for reasons related to his personality, but also because he was in a dangerous business. Luckily, he really didn't have any enemies anymore. He had been a bit more reckless as a kid when he was just starting out, but he had his market audience now, and he didn't step on any toes or invade anyone else's territory with his sales. He was established in the business, and he was comfortable there. What likely set Nick's success apart from many other street level dealers was that he wasn't an addict. A lot of the guys that he knew that sold drugs had costly habits themselves. A big chunk of their profits already had to be reinvested in their stock, but when they were using half of the stock themselves, that profit became even smaller. Nick's smoking habits were pretty bad by some standards (though he didn't think there was anything wrong with weed), but weed wasn't costly in his opinion. It didn't make a dent in his profits the same way that cocaine or prescription pills would, and thankfully, he only sold the costlier things and didn't dabble in them himself.

Money was good right now, though. He wasn't really a plan-ahead kind of guy, but he usually did try to keep some extra money on hand during the fall, because sales were slower in the winter, but this year he was doing fine. Today, in fact, he was doing very well. This morning alone he had made closer to four thousand dollars, though it didn't feel as rewarding as it could have, given that he had invested nearly four times that into his supply the night before. Saturday was typically his top sales day of the week, and understandably so, since most people partied on Saturday night in New York. Even if such large paydays weren't the norm throughout the week, Nick felt like this one was well deserved, since he had traveled all the way up to Columbia, all the way down to Pace, and everywhere in between to make the sales. Now that he was home, he was ready to light up himself, but as he neared his apartment door, he remembered an unanswered text from earlier in the week. It wasn't something that he wanted to admit, because even if he was in a business claimed to be immoral, he still liked to think of himself as a good person, but sometimes Nick had a tendency of putting some of his customers on the back burner. The ones that often took weeks to pay him were typically the first to be ignored. It wasn't that he disliked them as people, or that he wanted to lose them as customers, but surprisingly, Nick just had a lot going on. Even if his personal circle was very small and he really didn't have many friends to socialize with, his work phone was constantly being hit up, and in addition to the less profitable clients, sometimes his friends ended up being overlooked too. Makayla was one of them. She was a friend, but she also probably fell into that "less profitable" category. Again, it was nothing against her. Nick knew her situation (on a surface level) and he knew that she wasn't using or scamming him, but money was money. If he could sell a couple grams to some college kid willing to pay two times what it was worth, it was understandable that he prioritized that deal over giving it to Makayla for half of what it was worth, just because they were friends.

Regardless, Nick liked to think of himself as being a pretty solid guy. He never intentionally overlooked his friends, and when he wasn't high and had a moment to think, he usually remembered and made up for it. Knocking on Makayla's apartment door, he just hoped that she was home.

A_Writer · Nov 30, 2018

Arts and crafts were fun. Then again, anything could be fun with the right mindset, and Holly typically had that. Surprisingly, even after spending the last couple of hours cutting images out of magazines and gluing them to paper, Holly was still engulfed in the activity. Though it seemed to defy her typically short attention span, it was important to note that she had at least twenty sheets of paper with half filled scenes on them. They all began with big ideas, but were lost the moment her inspiration drifted to a new theme. The past few sheets had been ones depicting made up families, and she was enjoying creating elaborate story lines for the models that she cut out and claimed to be families. "We don't want to set the house on fire," she said, looking to Makayla with sincere seriousness that border lined offense at the innocent suggestion her sister made. "They just moved here from Canada two weeks ago after their old house burned down!" She frowned and shook her head, concluding, "They definitely don't have a fire place and you shouldn't even say that word in front of them. They're only gonna eat ice cream until they get over it." Quirky really was the best way to describe Holly. She was predictable in a lot of ways, and unpredictable in others. There seemed to be little to no logic behind a lot of the things that she said and did, but she was happy and filled with good vibes, and that was most important.

Holly flipped through the pages of one of the magazines, deciding that they were a lot cooler than books. They were made up of bright, pretty pictures. There were pictures of lip gloss, clothes, animals, smiling people, snacks... everything good! There were words, of course, but they were little and easy to skip over so they weren't intimidating like novels were. If they read magazines in school, she decided that maybe classes would be a bit more bearable. "The pizza must be here!" she exclaimed as she heard knocking on the door. She knew that they hadn't ordered pizza, but it seemed like the most appropriate conclusion to come to in the moment, and thinking about it, she felt like she could go for pizza, if that was what it was. Surprisingly, she didn't shoot up to her feet to go investigate for herself. If it wasn't pizza, whoever it was was going to be a major disappointment. Plus, she had come across a picture of Taylor Swift and she just had to add her into this paper family somehow.

Bandit_ · Dec 2, 2018

Holly's odd dramatics brought a faint smile to Makayla's face. She was too tired and distant-feeling to offer any silly banter in return, but she appreciated Holly for who she was. Things would have been easier if Holly was different, though. They obviously would have been easier if she possessed abilities more typical to someone her age, but they also would have been easier in a different way, if she lacked the optimism, youthful energy, and innocence that she had. If she was a terror, nasty and obnoxious, it would have been easy for Makayla to sever their relationship the moment the courts got involved. She could have sent the kid off to foster care and never thought of her again. Holly was too good and sweet though. She wasn't always easy to take care of, but that wasn't her fault. None of this was her fault. It wasn't Makayla's fault either, but even during periods of time like this, when Makayla was feeling especially down, she could often remind herself of how their relationship was necessary just by watching and listening to Holly exist. If the girl didn't have her, she had no one, and in truth, the same worked in reverse.

She didn't know who would have been at the door since she wasn't expecting anyone, and she didn't think either of her roommates were home to expect anyone either, but she pulled herself to her feet at the sound of a knock. If she didn't get up, she was sure that Holly eventually would do so to investigate, and that was something she wanted to avoid. They were doing so good relaxing and killing time, and she didn't need any petty distractions to ruin that. For a moment, Chanel's comment about Ruby wanting to call the police days ago crossed her mind. She had thought about it a few times over the past few days, wondering whether she had to be scared about some surprise visit related to that. In a strange way, it didn't phase her though. She was too tired and drained to care or put too much energy into it, though she did feel like she eventually had to follow up with Ruby about it. She didn't think that she owed the girl any sort of apology, but if nothing else, she wanted to address that comment that Chanel had passed along to her. It wasn't easy to get Makayla worked up (especially on days like today, where her typical calm demeanor was present), but any comments related to criticism of her parenting skills or the police were understandably strong candidates for rubbing her the wrong way. She already made an effort to be a good roommate to her roommates, but she wasn't about to spend her life walking on eggshells because one of them couldn't mind their own business.

She looked through the peephole in the door and saw Nick standing outside. Opening, she offered him the same faint smile she had worn seconds before for Holly. "Hey, what's up?" she asked. It had been at least a week or two since she had bought from Nick. She had reached out a few days ago after her breakdown and hadn't heard back, but she hadn't taken it personally. Nick was a busy guy, and especially when she didn't have money for what she wanted, she wasn't going to hound him over it. Since she wasn't expecting a delivery, she assumed he had to be there to drop off something for Chanel, but she waited and allowed him to talk before concluding anything aloud.

cure · Dec 3, 2018

[IMG='width:250px;']https://scontent-lga3-1.cdninstagram.com/vp/412dade0658ff02bc82db29dc26eec63/5C9445F8/t51.2885-15/e35/44840625_2050155595274715_6645866449679138026_n.jpg[/IMG] chanel nasiri

Five flights of stairs was so unnecessary. By the time she made it to the top floor, she was wishing she had gone to Insomnia Cookies next door before making her way up. After such a busy, stressful week, she inevitably had a taste for some sort of treat. As she looked over the railing to the bottom floor, she exhaled her exasperation. She typically ate healthily, but like anyone, she also had her vices when it came to food, especially after a week like this one. With the way her laziness was set up right now, it simply wasn't meant to be. While the trek upstairs was laborious, it quickly reminded her just how tired she actually was. Just seconds ago she had the desire to get out and do something. She still did, because the thought of using up her free time to just sleep and veg out wasn't enticing to her, but on the other hand there was something appealing in just relaxing. Before she would have been content with doing something even if it meant she was doing it half-awake, but she was slowly starting to move away from that idea. She pulled out her phone to text one of her girlfriends to see if she had any plans tonight. Maybe if she could relax during the day and go out sometime tonight or this evening she could strike some sort of compromise with her juxtaposed needs.

She was surprised to see Nick just outside her door as she made her way there. She hadn't seem him in quite some time, which wasn't necessarily strange. As would be expected from her, she was nevertheless delighted to see him. He was nice and fun to look at, plus him being her dealer made him all the more likeable. Just as Makayla had assumed of her, Chanel figured that Nick was there for delivery duties for Makayla since the two of them were talking. "Hey, party people," Chanel said, stopping beside Nick and giving Makayla a friendly wink. She was pleased to see that Makayla looked all right, which probably sounded like a strange sentiment considering she wasn't expecting to find Makayla in tears or anything. But she still felt like things were tense, at least on her own end, after the events of earlier this week, so she could only imagine how Makayla felt. Being so, it came as a welcome relief to see Makayla looking normal. "Special delivery for tonight's secret menu?" she asked Makayla with a playful smile.

Collapsed · Dec 6, 2018

It took a few seconds, but finally the apartment door opened and he was greeted by Makayla. He smiled at the sight of her. He recalled that another girl had moved in with her and Chanel, and though Nick didn't know anything about her, he disliked the idea of having to make small talk with a stranger. He was a nice guy on the surface and could be friendly when necessary to people he didn't know, but even his closest friends wouldn't describe him as being chatty. "Hey," he began, glancing beyond her. He didn't hear Holly and he couldn't see her in the near vicinity - which wasn't too far, given that he was still standing in the doorway. Despite possessing a job that would be seen as immoral by many, Nick had morals of his own. He wasn't going to whip out a bag of drugs in front of a child, especially not Holly. She was her own sort of child, in her own sort of Holly-ish way. It was hard to describe Holly outside of just saying that she was Holly because of how unique she was. Quirks and all, she was a sweet kid though. Sometimes a headache and all of the time more than Nick could handle on his own, but a sweet kid nonetheless. "I haven't been the friendly neighborhood drug dealer that I'm supposed to be," he offered with a grin as he slid his backpack off of his shoulders and pulled it in front of him. "So I brought something to make up for it." Obviously he didn't actually owe Makayla anything. If anything, she probably owed him a fair amount of money from the many times that he supplied her without charging her anything, or charging her something that he barely broke even on. She was more of a friend than a client though, and even if he wasn't an extroverted guy, he still liked the idea of having friends. It was nice to have someone to talk to when you were high enough and Makayla always seemed to be a good ear and a good advice giver during those times.

Chanel arrived before Nick could open the bag, and that was probably for the best because even if their landlord didn't seem to give a shit about anything (which was good and bad), Nick didn't need any nosy people on the floor getting on to him because of what he did. He was typically very careful because the last thing he wanted was a criminal record (and shockingly, he didn't have one yet). It wasn't even the charges that scared him so much as the fines and all of that bullshit did. Being caught with personal use amounts of drugs was one thing, but he carried much more than that, and in variations that would probably be considered felonies regardless of the quantities. "Yeah, but I was hoping we could use it before tonight. Nothing wrong with a little midday high. And it's a sick strain: OG Kush. I don't know if I've given that to you guys to try out yet."

Bandit_ · Dec 6, 2018

Makayla didn't like handouts, but weed was the one thing that she wouldn't say no to, especially coming from Nick. He never made her feel guilty for accepting it and she genuinely did always do her best to pay him back in a timely manner. She didn't know if she could call him a friend, mostly because she had nearly forgotten what a typical friendship was supposed to consist of at that point, but she enjoyed his presence. His calm demeanor paired well with hers, and even outside of the free weed that she got when she smoked with him, she liked his company. Typically, she would have rejected the idea of smoking midday... with him at least. She usually only smoked at night when Holly was asleep, or during the day when Holly was at school if she wasn't working. If she really needed a hit midday on the weekend, she could usually get away with it on her own by sticking Holly in front of the TV for a little while, but she felt like doing it with Nick and Chanel would warrant too much attention. Holly liked company and socializing more than she did, so she was always doubtful that she would be able to shake Holly's presence for that long. Then again, she was in the mindset where she really had nothing to lose at this point...

Stepping aside, she let Nick and Chanel in, having returned the smile of the former once she joined them in the doorway. Because she was unsure of herself, she didn't answer Nick immediately, and instead, glanced towards Chanel to see if she wanted to smoke right now. If Chanel was going to, then Makayla would as well because it would be dumb to pass up free weed when she was feeling the way that she was feeling, but if Chanel passed, she would as well, and she would attempt to reassure herself that it was a sign for the rest of the day, while simultaneously wanting to kill herself. Holly still seemed preoccupied and though Makayla was sure that that wouldn't last long now that Chanel was home and Nick was here, she guessed that she could maybe get her to behave on her own for a little while with the right excuse. At this point, she was willing to tell herself anything if it meant that she would convince herself that smoking was a good idea.

cure · Dec 6, 2018

"Nothing wrong with a little refresher," Chanel said as she followed Nick into the apartment. Now she was really shooting herself in the foot for thinking about cookies too late, but it wasn't anything that couldn't be worked around. Having wanted to socialize but also relax, this seemed like a pretty good in between. Makayla and Nick were notorious for being really chill people, and despite Chanel being very much the opposite of that, she appreciated their relaxed demeanor, especially when it came to smoking. It probably said something coming from a chatterbox like Chanel, but she couldn't stand smoking with people who demanded too much attention. It wasn't that she expected some sort of absolute silence, but she didn't always want to hear people ramble on about nothing. Makayla and Nick never posed that problem, especially because if they did become more talkative, because they were generally quiet people, their conversation was all the more intriguing.

The first thing Chanel did when she got inside was unzip her coat and grab a glass of water. She hadn't realized just how thirsty she was until she downed half the cup in a few large gulps. "I know I smell like straight up coffee, so I'm going to change and catch up with you guys. Are there any snacks?" she asked Makayla as she set her glass in the sink and opened one of the cabinets. She hadn't noticed how quiet it was, which was odd since Makayla was here and that could only mean Holly wasn't too far away. Had she realized it, she would have asked, but for the moment she was too preoccupied with trying to figure out what to put in her stomach.

A_Writer · Dec 8, 2018

Even if Holly didn't realize it, it was clear that the medication that she had been prescribed a few weeks ago to help with her ADHD was working. She still got more distracted than the average person. It was no miracle drug, and her hyperactivity and curiosity were probably partially part of her personality by now. Still, there was a difference in how her brain worked. Before, she couldn't concentrate on a single thought for more than a few seconds. She would sit down to do homework, and read two words of something before her attention was captured by the sound of a car honking outside, and then by the smell of a candle burning, and then by the thought of a dog she had seen earlier. It would have been bearable had she been able to focus on the initial distracter, but her brain didn't even allow her to do that. It was just one thing after another, one half-started thought interrupted by the next. Her mind was so disorganized and flighty that it was frustrating, even for her, to deal with sometimes. Now, her mind moved more slowly. People who didn't have ADHD often claimed that Adderall gave them more energy, but as someone who had ADHD and was taking it, Holly's mind was far more calmer. She was more productive still though, because making decisions was easier when her mind moved slower.

Regardless of the change, she was still Holly, and when new people or things were introduced into her setting, it was understandable that it warranted a drift in her attention. Even if she hadn't gotten up to see who was at the door, when she heard Chanel's voice (and Nick's, though that one was less exciting), her interest in her art project was reaching its end. She finished pasting one final image to the piece of paper before standing up and heading into the kitchen. "Chanel, you forgot to say hi to me!" she exclaimed, laughing for no reason, as per usual. Obviously, Chanel had just walked in and given that they lived together, saying hello every time that they passed by wasn't necessary, but Holly was too social to oblige by those formalities. She looked at Nick but didn't say anything before looking back towards Chanel. Holly didn't mind Nick. She was friendly towards him most of the time, but it was no secret that she preferred the girls on the floor over the boys, if the option was available. It stemmed somewhat from her traumatic past that primarily involved abuse from men, but she also just felt like the girls were nicer and more fun than the boys. Collin was the only exception, but that was simply because Holly thought his face was pretty.

#ff00ff

Collapsed · Dec 9, 2018

"We can order food if you want," Nick offered. "I have cash if you wanna use an app or something." He had no qualms about paying for food for the lot of them. It had been a good payday, after all, and he was already in the spirit of giving. In what probably seemed strange given the current technologically dependent world they lived in, Nick didn't own a credit card. In fact, he didn't even have a bank account. He worked off of the books and he disliked the idea of the government knowing that he had any money at all. It probably sounded dumb and paranoid, but to him, it merely seemed smart. If all of his profits came in cash, that was how he spent his money. He wasn't thinking long term enough to consider the benefits of investing or starting a savings account. He had his own savings account in the safe underneath his bed. It wasn't as secure as a bank vault, but with a glock tucked under his mattress, he was never worried about anything going missing. The only real issue he faced with not having a credit card was that it was impossible to order things online. Even the food apps that allowed you to pay with cash when the delivery guy got to you required a credit card to be inserted when you made an account. When Nick wanted takeout, he always had to order over the phone and in this time period, that was not only a nuisance for him, but the restaurant as well. Luckily, it wasn't hard to find friends with credit cards since nearly everyone else had one, so it was easy to have them order things for him and pay them upfront with the necessary amount of cash. If the girls had sufficient snacks, ordering food wouldn't be necessary, but he wanted to put the option out there nonetheless.

Holly emerged in the kitchen a few moments after they arrived, and Nick wasn't surprised by her presence. Wherever Makayla was, one could expect Holly to be as well. Even if he knew to expect it, he still felt bad for Makayla. Holly was obviously a sweet and great kid, but he couldn't imagine being their age and being tied down with such a responsibility. He felt like he could barely take care of himself, so the thought of having the responsibility of someone else on his shoulders too was frightening. If Makayla wasn't able to live her life now, when was she going to be able to live it? These were supposed to be the best years of her life, and yet she had to be responsible and mature. To Nick, it seemed like a nightmare, but he knew that everyone had different values in life. "Hey Holly," he said, even though she had clearly recognized his presence but opted to only acknowledge Chanel. The clear snub brought a smirk to his face, simply because it was brazen and obvious, and because it was coming from Holly, it felt ironic and humorous. She was such a friendly girl that when she wasn't, it was obvious whether it was meant to be or not. Looking over her, he made eye contact with Chanel. "Your room?" he mouthed. It seemed like the only option given that Holly was there. Though they had smoked in Makayla's room before, it seemed less likely to interfere with Holly's presence if they were doing it outside of the space that she co-existed in. Chanel had mentioned that she needed to change, so he figured he would have to hang out in the kitchen or living room for a little anyway, but he didn't mind that. He wasn't in any hurry.

cure · Dec 11, 2018

"Are you sure?" Chanel asked, looking over her shoulder at Nick and then to Makayla. As predicted, it wasn't even a full minute before Holly appeared, and it was then that Chanel realized that the apartment had been suspiciously quiet. It wasn't that Holly was always loud and noisy, but she definitely had a strong presence and it was practically impossible to ignore her. Being pulled away from her task by the sound of Holly's chipper voice, Chanel turned around and returned Holly's giggles with a smile. Even though Holly behaved like a child, because she was actually a teenager, Chanel find it difficult to find the balance in how to treat her. On the one hand, she didn't want to accidentally do something condescending and think less of Holly, but on the other she didn't want to be too cold and not respectful to Holly's...situation. Still, Chanel, a lot of the times, tended towards babying Holly a bit. At least in moments like these that made Chanel feel quite special. A simple apology or short explanation of how she didn't know she was there could have sufficed, but instead Chanel's eyes widened as though she was just realizing that she'd forgotten Holly. "I knew I was forgetting something!"

She caught Nick's eye and nodded her head, quietly relieved that her room wasn't a total mess. Though Holly had entered before they could finalize food plans, Chanel went ahead and unlocked her phone before sliding it across the island towards Nick. This wasn't the first time they'd smoked and ordered in, so she knew the routine. "Just pick whatever," she said, trying to be as vague as possible so that she didn't intrigue Holly any. The only reason she passed Nick her phone was because she assumed that he was going straight to her room. Since they were ordering in now, and because she had to change out of her work clothes anyway, she wasn't in too much of a rush, which was why she didn't expect either of them to wait up on her. And now that she had Holly's attention too, she couldn't really just go straight to her room without expecting Holly to be right behind. She knew that if Holly saw all of them going back to her room, it would be kind of awkward having to explain that it was an adults only party and that she wasn't really invited. Plus, it would probably seem a bit like a slight since Chanel had no real problem with letting Holly into her room, and plenty of times she intentionally left her door open to be more inviting. Just this past holiday season, she had Holly help her put up Christmas lights around her room even though she could have just as easily done them on her own and with less distraction. She knew Makayla would take care of Holly in this instance, and because she predicted it would involve watching television or something else that could distract Holly for long enough, Chanel wasn't too anxious about entertaining Holly. "Wait a second," she said, turning her attention back to Holly and raising her brow suspiciously. "Are you sure I forgot? Because I feel like you were hiding and now you're just trying to trick me!"

A_Writer · Dec 16, 2018

"That's why you shouldn't be hanging out with boys, Chanel! When you care too much about boys you forget about your real friends!" A shady comment like that wasn't necessarily common coming out of Holly's mouth, but it was worth noting that it wasn't being said with true shade. Of course she was talking about Nick, and that was something that she was referring to pretty directly, but she wasn't consciously aware that there was that level of shade attached to what she was saying. To her, she was simply stating a fact. Had Chanel not been hanging out with Nick (and Holly had reason to believe that since they both came in at the same time), then she wouldn't have been preoccupied with other people and in turn, took more than thirty seconds to acknowledge her. Obviously, it wasn't that big of a deal and Holly was only claiming to be forgotten lightly, but she still felt like the justification was necessary.

She again, did not acknowledge Nick's presence directly, despite him greeting her, but it really wasn't meant in a malicious way. Right now, he wasn't very interesting to her and outside of already being a bit more cagey towards males, Holly was aware of how Nick had cheated on Brooklyn. Although even Brooklyn herself tended to be a bit more gentle towards Holly (even if an outsider probably wouldn't be able to tell), after the breakup she had made it clear to Holly that what had happened was Nick's fault, and she didn't really sugar coat it. Surprisingly, she never threw Cara under the bus. Holly wasn't aware of how it was Cara who Nick had cheated on, but she knew that Nick had cheated, that he was a disgusting pig, and that you could never trust a man. According to Brooklyn, at least. Even though Holly wasn't really conscious of how cheating could destroy the trust of a relationship so horribly, it still tainted her opinion of him a bit.

"You don't have to since I know that you're busy and like doing a lot of other things," Holly began in a manner that was quite clearly scripted from something Makayla had told her multiple times. She reached out, momentarily distracted as she touched Chanel's jacket because her brain wouldn't let her continue until she knew what the material felt like. "But now that you're home you can do arts and crafts with me and Makayla!"

#ff00ff

Bandit_ · Dec 16, 2018

The sound of smoking and delivery food sounded wonderful. Makayla was at a point of being stressed where she had stopped caring. She had called out of work for the latter half of the week and had called out of her internship as well. She still had no money, but she had no hope too, and that negated her care for not having any money. Maybe she would snap out of it, maybe not. Trying was just beginning to seem way too pointless to pursue. Nothing she did was good enough, and any effort to better herself seemed to backfire, so what was the point? If life was going to suck no matter what she did, she figured that she might as well get a good night's sleep as it played out.

Even if she was eager to smoke and eat because it was the only thing that could possibly make her feel sane today, she tried not to appear that eager. Content indifference seemed more appropriate because she didn't have money for either of the things. Thankfully, when Nick wanted to smoke with them, it was basically a given that he was going to take care of the costs associated with it. If they were just buying from him to use leisurely, it was different, but that was why Makayla always took advantage of it when Nick reached out with interest in smoking them out. She wasn't only using him, though. He really was a chill and decent guy, and easy to vibe with.

The only thing standing in her way of a nice high was Holly, but that wasn't something she was worried about. Smoking alone was definitely easier to do in terms of distracting Holly, because understandably, other people made Holly more intent on "hanging out". She had been fairly good at listening since their incident on Wednesday, so she wasn't overly concerned. She resisted telling her to be quiet as she babbled on to Chanel, because Holly was allowed to speak. Sometimes Makayla had to remind herself of that on the days that her head was spinning and Holly's shirll laugh or voice made her want to claw her eyes out, but she always did her best to ensure that Holly didn't feel like a nuisance. She wasn't. She was allowed to exist just like everyone else was.

Still, her comment about Chanel hanging out with boys elicited an eye roll and her inquiry about Chanel's willingness to do art with her prompted her to address her sister. "No, no, we're finishing up with that for the day. Go clean all of that up off the floor and then I think we should turn on a movie. Chanel and Nick actually are here just to help me with some of my work for my internship. There's a lot of math stuff that I need to learn since I'll have to count so many teeth every day and they're going to help me practice." What would seem like a blatant lie to most people was something that Holly would likely believe, and any reference to math or homework was typically enough to ward her away for a solid amount of time.

A_Writer · Dec 16, 2018

Cleaning up wasn't something that Holly enjoyed doing it. Makayla forced her to keep up with the basics, like putting her own clothes away after they did laundry, or keeping her shoes lined up nicely at the bottom of the closet, but Holly definitely wasn't very good at doing much more than that. Especially given how all over the place she always was, one could only imagine how easy it was for her to make a mess out of things quickly. Making a mess was usually enjoyable, but cleaning it up was nearly as enjoyable. The thought of having to clean up all of the magazine scraps and fragments of paper seemed more boring than watching paint dry,

"But if I pick up all of the magazines, what will the mice have to read when they come in at night?!" Holly thought the comment was funny, and her following bout of laughter indicated that. Thankfully, they had never actually seen a mouse in their apartment or in the building at all, but Holly had seen one run past her just outside of their building the day before, so the topic was hot on her mind. Plus, the thought of a family of mice flipping through their magazines and enjoying the pictures made her happy too.

The thought of being around while they talked about something as boring as math made cleaning up seem a bit more bearable, especially if she could put on the television afterwards. Given how easy it was to keep Holly quiet when the TV was on, it was surprising that Makayla didn't stick her in front of it more often. It only further attested to the level of care that her sister had for her. She did her best to actually raise and take care of Holly. It was the little things like that that most people probably didn't notice, but made a big difference. "But I guess I could do that!" she said after a moment. "And then after all of that I have to hang up all of my beautiful art so hopefully you have a hammer and nails, Chanel!" Hanging up sheets of paper wouldn't require more than a single piece of tape, but Holly felt like they were good enough to warrant something more official. "Then when Nick leaves, we should make brownies! That's what I want for dinner!" she called out as she headed into the living room area where her workspace was sprawled out on the floor.

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