Experiences Characters vs Players

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I would like to discuss a topic about the line between a character and a player.

Imagine you start a new rp with someone, doesn't matter if it's 1x1 pr group. You interact with players and your character interacts with their characters.

Have you even found yourself in a situation when you start attributing some qualities or actions of the character to the player?

Has it ever happened that you were offended by something that a character in rp did and took it out on the player? Or if you found a character nice and attractive because of what they did in rp you were also attracted to the player because of that, assuming the player is as nice as the character?
Have those expectations ever matched?

Do you think the character is the player, and if it's so, where is that fine line and how do you determine it for yourself?

Thank you for reading this topic!
 
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I do not in any way shape or form consider my characters to be myself. Even characters who are literally just self inserts are still treated as separate entities.

I do not treat my partners characters as themselves. Again even if they make a blatant self insert I still treat that character as a totally distinct entity.

If my character is a selfish egotistical bitch who makes racist remarks I am going to assume my partner is smart enough to understand that I am not a racist myself, (your mileage may very on whether you think I’m an egotistical bitch however.)

If my partner plays a bigoted wizard who calls my character a made up racial slur. Obviously they are not a wizard in real life nor will I assume they go around using actual racial slurs.

If a character calls my character pretty I’m absolutely not going to assume the player is hitting on me. Even if my character looks exactly the same as me.

I don’t really focus on the relative attractiveness of characters myself so I’ve never had that carry over. But either way I definitely don’t treat roleplay like dating and do not form any kind of romantic or sexual feelings for a stranger on the internet based on their characters actions/appearance.

Sorry that particular example made my skin crawl because I just think it’s a bad idea to make assumptions about someone you can’t see online. But then I’m a thirty year old woman and watched perhaps a touch to many SVU episodes.
 
This is a whole thing here.

Have you even found yourself in a situation when you start attributing some qualities or actions of the character to the player?

Yes, but mostly because they are bad RPers. Everyone leaves parts of themselves and signatures in their writing. We write what we know.

Bad writing tells you the most, because bad writers self-insert moreso, and thry tend to have narrow tastes. You can usually tell when someone is playing someone with oddly specifically tastes in music and shows, because it's usually their own. People who play popular and excessively successful people (for their setting) tend to lack those things in real life, so they surrogate it with RP. In essence, a Mary Sue tells you a lot about the player.

Things like being a funny writer, or character quirks and the pure diction of the writing of course give insight into the person, but a good RPer strives to play a range of character types, and is therefore harder to figure out irl.

Has it ever happened that you were offended by something that a character in rp did and took it out on the player?

Personally? No moments particularly standout, but I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't a bit miffed from short responses, or posts that glossed over minr when directly interacting with the player. Occassionally, incredibly poorly-written or ignorant posts will cause me to have disdain for a player.

Or if you found a character nice and attractive because in rp you were also attracted to the player because of that, assuming the player is as nice as the character?

Nice? I mostly form that from OOC. Some peoplr who play total assholes are nice as can be in real life. Same for the vice-versa. Attractive? No, never. I don't expect anyone to be attractive in real life just through their writing. I think it's a sign of loneliness to start developing feelings towards someone OOC. You have to seperate yourself from your characters and players, or things get....sad.

Have those expectations ever matched?

See above.

Do you think the character is the player, and if it's so, where is that fine line and how do you determine it for yourself?

Again, only if they're a bad player. I want to write a story, not navigate your feelings. A good character has flaws. If I play a coward, I expect others to have biting inner monologue about her worthlessness. That's character depth. I don't wanna be afraid to point out what a weird loser your character is IC because you're a massive introvert in real life and insist on playing one.

In short, I roleplay because I like exploring character ideas and devrlopment and new stories. I can't deal with people roleplaying purely because they lack something in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs and are trying to find a diet version of it in an RP. So, in good RPing, no, player and characters are seperate. In bad RP, it's a clusterfuck of weird emotions and I try to quietly see my way out.
 
I would like to discuss a topic about the line between a character and a player.

Imagine you start a new rp with someone, doesn't matter if it's 1x1 pr group. You interact with players and your character interacts with their characters.

Have you even found yourself in a situation when you start attributing some qualities or actions of the character to the player?

Has it ever happened that you were offended by something that a character in rp did and took it out on the player? Or if you found a character nice and attractive because of what they did in rp you were also attracted to the player because of that, assuming the player is as nice as the character?
Have those expectations ever matched?

Do you think the character is the player, and if it's so, where is that fine line and how do you determine it for yourself?

Thank you for reading this topic!


I assumed that some players were as nice as their characters, but the exact opposite happened (either being too much rude or drama creators, or plainly sexually obssessed..).
 
Have you even found yourself in a situation when you start attributing some qualities or actions of the character to the player?

Thankfully, no. I may remember this or that character that they played as their highlights, but never projecting their characters' traits on them. But if all their "characters" happen to behave just like the player, then yes, I'll attribute negative characteristics to the player. I don't even mind if they just play the same type of character, or if their characters are easy to dislike (that just might be a good thing), as long as it's not the exact same way they behave OOC-ly.

This wasn't in RPnation, but I've had experiences where people would bring their real life problems into their character. They would log in, complain about a certain issue they were having, then join an RP and continue doing so "IC"-ly, without even spending a little effort trying to disguise it. And then they would become angry if called out on it, often following up with a pity-grabbing attempt. Harsh or not, that's the wrong place for what they need, and I may feel a bit strongly about that since I had to deal with some of them as a moderator.

As said above, sometimes you can pick up on some of the writer's traits depending on how their characters are portrayed. I think it's more of an issue of what comes first, for me. If I can tell who's playing a character by their writing style, not the character's personality, then I'll see the RPer in a positive light. But if I tie the characters' behavior to the player's behavior first, then it's a negative light. To close this with some generalizing, a good RPer can play bad characters, but a bad RPer can't play good characters.

Has it ever happened that you were offended by something that a character in rp did and took it out on the player?

Never took it out on the player, but if they're one of the negatives I described above, chances are the RPer meant it too, so I'd take it as a warning.

Or if you found a character nice and attractive because of what they did in rp you were also attracted to the player because of that, assuming the player is as nice as the character?

When it's clearly an RP, then no. But, say, in MMORPGs for example, it's more difficult to tell whether or not they're RPing. It's not so strange to take the character as if their player behaved in the same way, at first. It's more a matter of how optimistic the person is in that case, which is something I'm not known for being. So even in games, I don't make that assumption.

Have those expectations ever matched?

Only specifically created the mentioned expectations for the negative cases, and those pretty much always were true.

Do you think the character is the player, and if it's so, where is that fine line and how do you determine it for yourself?

With some more generalizing, the line is how good of a writer the RPer is, the better they are, the thicker the line.
 
I have never found myself attributing the actions or the personality traits of a character to that of the player.

Though, sometimes there are cues in the interactions of two characters that might give you insight as to what the player is interested in or what they are uncomfortable with. For example, even if an LGBT or otherwise open-minded player is playing a straight character, there are tells that give you the sense that it might be alright to suggest an LGBT interaction between your characters.

But I have never assumed a person was LGBT just because their character was. (Just as an example, this applies to anything really. Another example is that a player doesn't have to have a psychosis to rp a character with one.)

I've seen over the years, though, that there is this growing, weird consensus that a player MUST be part of the community that their character is apart of in order to rp that character because doing otherwise is some sort of misrepresentation of that community. Totally disregarding if the depiction is, in fact, respectful. I think that alone is a bit of an oversight for players of these later generations, and a byproduct of communities that have a rigid idea of what social representation should look like and from whom these issues should be represented by.

In essence its an extension of this misattribution of what a player is from what their character is. It's sad, albeit interesting, that this mentality has bled into communities past the RP scene, and subsequently feeds back into rpers, creating this weird toxicity surrounding some communities and those that participate in roleplay activities. Especially when players choose to play characters that represent hard to discuss topic points.

Has anyone else experienced this?
 
I have never found myself attributing the actions or the personality traits of a character to that of the player.

Though, sometimes there are cues in the interactions of two characters that might give you insight as to what the player is interested in or what they are uncomfortable with. For example, even if an LGBT or otherwise open-minded player is playing a straight character, there are tells that give you the sense that it might be alright to suggest an LGBT interaction between your characters.

But I have never assumed a person was LGBT just because their character was. (Just as an example, this applies to anything really. Another example is that a player doesn't have to have a psychosis to rp a character with one.)

I've seen over the years, though, that there is this growing, weird consensus that a player MUST be part of the community that their character is apart of in order to rp that character because doing otherwise is some sort of misrepresentation of that community. Totally disregarding if the depiction is, in fact, respectful. I think that alone is a bit of an oversight for players of these later generations, and a byproduct of communities that have a rigid idea of what social representation should look like and from whom these issues should be represented by.

In essence its an extension of this misattribution of what a player is from what their character is. It's sad, albeit interesting, that this mentality has bled into communities past the RP scene, and subsequently feeds back into rpers, creating this weird toxicity surrounding some communities and those that participate in roleplay activities. Especially when players choose to play characters that represent hard to discuss topic points.

Has anyone else experienced this?

No. I think what I have seen is mostly just strong requests to treat things like abuse, sexuality, mental illness, etc. seriously.

Like don’t make a character who is outside your experience if all your doing is making a stereotype or adding window dressing to make your character stand out.

Ex. Susie watched her whole family be murdered, she is schizo, and she is also likes women because a man killed her family.

I’d be kinda wary but I’d at least ask okay how do all those things intersect exactly. If I get any reply that means essentially I don’t know or I didn’t think about it I’m gone.

Because that is the part where people draw the line.

It’s not don’t write what you don’t know, it’s THINK and PLAN if you do. If you make your character an abuse victim think about how it would effect them. Plan how they’ll deal with it.

If they’re gay than ask yourself how does this effective? Are they stereotypes or real people?
 
No. I think what I have seen is mostly just strong requests to treat things like abuse, sexuality, mental illness, etc. seriously.

Like don’t make a character who is outside your experience if all your doing is making a stereotype or adding window dressing to make your character stand out.

Ex. Susie watched her whole family be murdered, she is schizo, and she is also likes women because a man killed her family.

I’d be kinda wary but I’d at least ask okay how do all those things intersect exactly. If I get any reply that means essentially I don’t know or I didn’t think about it I’m gone.

Because that is the part where people draw the line.

It’s not don’t write what you don’t know, it’s THINK and PLAN if you do. If you make your character an abuse victim think about how it would effect them. Plan how they’ll deal with it.

If they’re gay than ask yourself how does this effective? Are they stereotypes or real people?

Right, I see what you are saying. Its like characters who are transgendered being designed to be hyper(born gender) in aesthetic even though a real transgender person would do the opposite and try to pass as much as they are comfortable with. (IE. Trans male will not dress up like a boitoi/kawaiboy since fem clothing only makes them look more girly and would aggravate the dysphoria.)

While everyone is different, there needs to be a heavy avoidance of pushing stereotypes.

Really the character should be thought of as a person (in the context of their narrative) first, and then layered on the experiences that shape them to who they are, and how they represent themselves in the narrative. Designing in the context of how they could best serve the story, and avoid designing them to fit into these stereotypes.
 
But, say, in MMORPGs for example, it's more difficult to tell whether or not they're RPing. It's not so strange to take the character as if their player behaved in the same way, at first.

That is actually interesting point. A lot of people do rp with MMORPG and behave as their rp character would. Even though it's usually withn rp communities in those games, I think having the actual 3D character may influence other people's perception more than just reading text.
And even when they're not actually doing rp, it happens when other people perceive you as your character. I believe it's also because of visualization.



Also, I agree with what was said above by multiple people, that a lot depends on person writing skills. Although I don't want to judge 'rp skills' because everyone is expressing themselves and I don't think this value can be measure, but that's a topic for another discussion. Writing skills can be measured, however, although it's still subjective.


Soometimes players are doing self-inserts or idealised self-inserts (which may or may not be Mary Sue, but there is a separate topic about that so let's not go that way).
But also there is a thing, when people through rp want to realise their hidden fantasies or replay their personal dramas to come to terms with it. And in such cases the line between the character and the player is very thin, regardless of their writing skills.
 
But also there is a thing, when people through rp want to realise their hidden fantasies or replay their personal dramas to come to terms with it. And in such cases the line between the character and the player is very thin, regardless of their writing skills.

This can happen even if the character is not a self-insert. When I was much younger, I had attributed one of my character's -and this was only partially intentional- with as much of my negative energy as possible. This... can have it's good and bad. It's good in the sense that the character becomes a therapy tool for the player. But there is a time where it can go bad if you lose sight of the idea that this character is the manifestation of whatever troubles you, and you start attributing things people do to the character as an offense to yourself. It can also become detrimental to not seek help for the mental issues you've been channeling into the character. Sure, it might be cathartic, but the character and what happens to them is no replacement for real life help.

So I do think, even if you are using a character for this purpose, that there does need to be a line drawn between you and the character. Though from personal experience, doing this myself brought those issues I had to light and allowed me to seek help for them when I did.
 
Roleplay for me is... well... I don't really know how to put it, but it's like playing a fantasy PC game. I see no reason to, and have no desire in, playing somehting I can do in real life. Like, go play pretend that my character has met some person in Amsterdam and they fell in love, because that can bloody happen! I want to play as monsters, and villains, and valiant knights spewing magic, and space renegades hijacking ships to save smuggled into slavery alien nations, and such. And as an extension of this, my character are never me in full. Sure, we share certain features - there are no characters of mine who'd be homophobic, sexist, and supportive of gender roles, for instance, as I dislike these things very much, as well as I don't really have religious characters, unless the universe I play in have real gods (like TES or DnD). I play people who are not like me, because I play me every day, I'm friggin' tired of me!

However, real life does happen, and it does seep into the RP. I think I annoyed the living shit out of my co-player lately, because depression kicked in, and I was very miserable before the medication kicked in (about a week before I went to the doctor's, and a week after I starter taking the pills), and so, with me being very desperate and unwilling to do anything but sit home, it kind of transferred to my character. The character wasn't depressed himself, but the smallest things (I get it now) were getting him extremely sad, shy, etc., which was not a part of his character. As the brightest example, the characters decided to try and date each other at that point, and had a miscommunication once, doing things they both didn't like in bed. During that depressive period, this came up in a conversation - a laughable matter, come to think of it, but my character got really surprised, and confused, and in his head this reaction of his was too long to ruin the mood, which made him embarrassed of this, which made him soon on the edge of tears, because he thought that his lack of humour ruined the planned evening. Now I look at this, and realize this was very silly, and very much OOC, and I am glad my partner noticed that and said, dude, let's go back - this is obviously not what your character would've done, so let's just drop the reveal for later. But, yeah, I sip in at such moments quite a lot, I cannot deny it.
 
i found that a lot of roleplayers, especially inexperienced ones or simply those who wish to establish a particular brand, often adopt what is called a persona. a persona is often a flagship of the roleplayer's personal brand, being the person the roleplayer wishes they were. the thing is the badly done personas usually either compensate something the player wishes they had or are of a species, gender or aesthetic the roleplayer wishes they embdied. using Umbrie as an example, i really wanted to be a cute small statured woman that looks outright adorable in a lolita dress, and has the intelligence, wits and charisma to solve problems by asking questions and pursuing peaceful solutions. this comes from the fact i live in an extremely armed, violent and dangerous desert neighborhood in northern california. there is a lot of racial tension and a lot of racist acts being commited by just about any race, so it influenced me to make a character who could talk her way out of problems and diffuse fights, but due to the combat heavy nature of tabletop adventures. she ended up being a highly intelligent and charismatic but extremely small and frail fey rogue. she still tries to parley and diffuse fights, but at the same time, she has the skills to mitigate the damage done to her companions by dungeon hazards. such as scouting and spotting traps or ambushes only to disarm or diffuse them. she fights as a last ditch thing, and will coerce foes to surrender so she doesn't have to kill them.

but a roleplayers persona or flagship brand name character tells a lot about the roleplayers background. faerie or mutant are kind of a stand in for the oppressed races.
 
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