Wisp
°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°
@Safety Hammer
hello! thank you for your patience - since you and FireMaiden were done around relatively the same time, @Dracogenius and I split the address to make this quicker! speaking of which, why did you ping me, but not Draco? you pinged FireMaiden as well, but not Draco - if I hadn't told them, they wouldn't have known that either of you had finished your profiles.
right off the bat, we noticed a problem - your character is human, yet he's got two unrelated abilities, and they're OP. I'm more than willing to work with you on them, since they're clearly related to him being a musician, but he is human. playing "any instrument ever made" is OP on its own, not to mention that you slipped in a third ability alongside it that has no relation. he can be empathetic, sensing and affecting the moods of those around him to a degree, and have that enhance his musical performances, sure. or he can have the vocal manipulation, though we'd want to know if he's manipulating his vocal chords to mimic the voices of others, or just able to reach a more impressive pitch range.
as Draco addressed with Bailey, where in NYC does he live? there are five boroughs, and while the roleplay is centered in Brooklyn, he doesn't have to live in Brooklyn. (though that is the art scene, if I recall correctly!)
also addressed with Bailey, we'd like to address with Tyr - I've updated the character sheet accordingly as of Draco and I working on our responses for you and FireMaiden, but the "relationships" section is not for NPCs! they're alright to be mentioned in the bio, but the "relationships" section is for other player characters.
the last thing I want to address his his appearance - I'm concerned by his height, which is typically only found in extreme cases, and causes a lot of health problems. (which I've seen occur in my own family, which is why I thought to mention it!) just a few inches shorter would be more reasonable - 6'4" or 6'5" if you want him to remain so tall - and not seem so otherworldly. otherwise, I noticed that you addressed his hair and eye colours, but not his skin tone! since the picture doesn't really elaborate that, could you add that to your description of him?
hello! thank you for your patience - since you and FireMaiden were done around relatively the same time, @Dracogenius and I split the address to make this quicker! speaking of which, why did you ping me, but not Draco? you pinged FireMaiden as well, but not Draco - if I hadn't told them, they wouldn't have known that either of you had finished your profiles.
right off the bat, we noticed a problem - your character is human, yet he's got two unrelated abilities, and they're OP. I'm more than willing to work with you on them, since they're clearly related to him being a musician, but he is human. playing "any instrument ever made" is OP on its own, not to mention that you slipped in a third ability alongside it that has no relation. he can be empathetic, sensing and affecting the moods of those around him to a degree, and have that enhance his musical performances, sure. or he can have the vocal manipulation, though we'd want to know if he's manipulating his vocal chords to mimic the voices of others, or just able to reach a more impressive pitch range.
as Draco addressed with Bailey, where in NYC does he live? there are five boroughs, and while the roleplay is centered in Brooklyn, he doesn't have to live in Brooklyn. (though that is the art scene, if I recall correctly!)
also addressed with Bailey, we'd like to address with Tyr - I've updated the character sheet accordingly as of Draco and I working on our responses for you and FireMaiden, but the "relationships" section is not for NPCs! they're alright to be mentioned in the bio, but the "relationships" section is for other player characters.
the last thing I want to address his his appearance - I'm concerned by his height, which is typically only found in extreme cases, and causes a lot of health problems. (which I've seen occur in my own family, which is why I thought to mention it!) just a few inches shorter would be more reasonable - 6'4" or 6'5" if you want him to remain so tall - and not seem so otherworldly. otherwise, I noticed that you addressed his hair and eye colours, but not his skin tone! since the picture doesn't really elaborate that, could you add that to your description of him?