Character Critique Thread

[Lioness075]

That's because I'm still editing. I have been editing all night, none of it has been saved yet. I'm working on the grammar



You seem to have misunderstood what her power is and I wasn't clear on what her power is so it's again my fault. She isn't teleporting to a shadow, she is traveling through them. Like she becomes a shadow herself, which is why I had the word dark zone, it's basically a void zone. There's nothing but darkness. Through the shadow, she becomes, she can travel through to different shadows. She goes into a shadow becoming a shadow, and then travels to a shadow of her choice. It's never the same shadow but it's still gets her where she needs to go.

Like if she wanted to go to Peru, she goes to a shadows uses her power and goes to a shadow that is in Peru. Her mind isn't on the shadow, it's the location. Which is not logical of course, but neither is water bending or what she is doing which is shadow bending. I just call it Shadow Manipulation, makes it sound less Avatar.

I'm not trying to be rude. Nor am I trying to sound like a smart aleck. I'm just trying to join a rp that is really cool and I know that it's tiring to keep repeating yourself. I'm just trying to understand

It's all good. I should've just taken a step back from here and cooled off a little. It can be challenging sometimes to put cool ideas into words and then use those same words to explain it to someone else, who may understand them differently than you do.

 

[r e i]

My issue is that shadows in of themselves are not weapons or solid. Shadows are not energy. The shadow jumping concept works because that operates as a cool stealthy doorway with a neat utilitarian quirk of being able to do different things with different shadow shapes.

Shadow Forming: can form what she can out of shadows/ It can be a shield or a shadow human [ what she calls them ] that she can use to defend herself or attack. She could also form weapons if she wishes. It costs her more energy to form weapons so she doesn't use it usually.

I would honestly scrap that concept all together for this RP. Darkness and shadow weapons might work in some games but you'd have a hard time putting it past the CCC, I'm telling you right now I'd probably vote no on that. It makes no sense as this is a bit more 'realistic' of a RP. There is no such thing as 'darkness energy' or 'shadow realms', the only thing I could see working is that she could 'pull' shadows off walls and such and use them as shields in the sense that the part of her body being shielded is no longer there and the attack goes right through her. Sort of a shielding by hiding ability.

Plus all that counteracts with your limitations

can't control darkness: she and darkness are like oil and water. She cannot control it nor can she even think to try. Shadows are all she can control and she is useless in the total dark except for stealth since her adaptable power makes it so that she can easily move around without making a sound.

I think this is a rough choice of limitation. Obviously she's controlling darkness. Shadows are literally just areas where light is blocked by opaque objects. Again there is no such thing as 'darkness energy' or 'shadow realm'. There is nothing to 'control' in a sense, her powers would be dependent on the position of the sun and if people around her had flashlights or lighters.

The shadow forming/weapons should be scrapped and focus should be on the shadow jumping and manipulation. The attacking powers seem more suited to a Manga or Mortal Kombat.

I totally scrapped that shadow forming, and instead went with your idea of shadow shielding. This is what I had down for it. And I like her more as a stealth super then an attacking super. Makes more sense with her power. I also scrapped the can't control darkness.

Shadow Shielding: can pull shadows off of inanimate objects or herself to shield herself, almost making herself a shadow allowing the attack to go right through her. If the shadow is weak, it can somewhat shield her but she can still end up with a small or weak injury.

 

[Teh Frixz]

I'd say go full force with the shielding, it's not really a shield as you are just 'hiding' from the attack. You wouldn't get hurt at all as it would just go through your body.

 

[r e i]

It's all good. I should've just taken a step back from here and cooled off a little. It can be challenging sometimes to put cool ideas into words and then use those same words to explain it to someone else, who may understand them differently than you do.

Yea it's a bit of a problem for me when I'm trying to explain something. I really did not mean to sound rude and if i did in any way. I'm sorry.

 

[r e i]

I'd say go full force with the shielding, it's not really a shield as you are just 'hiding' from the attack. You wouldn't get hurt at all as it would just go through your body.

Went full force with it as you suggested. anything else you could suggest?

 

[Lioness075]

No, no, you're fine. I apologize because frankly, I was the one being rude.

 

[D. Rex]

https://www.rpnation.com/threads/kingston-h.317489/#post-7601181

I present Dr. Kingston to be critiqued.

 

[welian]

Working on something for myself later on - what do you all think of these stats with this power? The total points right now are 17, which makes her a middle-of-the-road C rank.

Ability Statistics
Aspect	Scale	Total
HLTH	▌▌	2
STRN	▌▌	2
DEFN	▌▌	2
AGLT	▌▌	2
INTL	▌▌▌▌	4
WILL	▌▌	2
ENRG	▌▌▌	3

Ghost in the Machine
Kit has the ability to possess machines, generally vehicles. For example, she can transfer her mind into a car. While she is in there, she can see how all that vehicle's systems work together and manipulate it (within specifications) to her liking. To date, she has successfully commandeered various cars and trucks, two different fishing boats, and a small training airplane. Conceivably, she could have taken over passenger airliner she took to Vegas, but... she doesn't actually know how to fly, and she likes being alive and not in jail.

• Insider Knowledge: While inside a machine, Kit quickly develops an intuitive and intimate understanding of how that particular machine works. However, she's not an engineer, much less an academic type, so good luck trying to get her to explain anything more intricate than "I told it to move and it did. Also it needs an oil change."
  
• Hotwired: For two or three days after Kit has taken over a vehicle, she has limited external control over it. Mostly this makes her a walking key fob, but she's managed to coax her own car to start up remotely, go into drive, and creep toward her. Unfortunately, it only goes in straight lines, and tops out at around seven miles an hour.

Limitations

• We Interrupt this Program: When Kit takes over a vehicle, there is a fraction of a section in which the engine often stalls and electronic systems glitch out. Sometimes it happens for as long as several seconds, especially in complex vehicles. This is, of course, Dangerous With A Capital D.
  
• The Blind Leading The Blind: Kit... can't actually see what she's doing, because cars don't have eyes. She has a vague sense of where her mechanical body is, and can sense other vehicles in her immediate proximity, but... well... she has a tailgating problem. Luckily, most modern vehicles come with onboard cameras and GPSs. Hearing doesn't seem to be an issue.
  
• Sleeping Beauty: When Kit's mind is inside a machine, it means her mind is not inside her body. It's really obvious when she's used her powers, because she'll be out cold on the floor.
• Roaming Charges: If Kit gets too far away from her body (around two miles), she will be stuck in her current machine until physical contact is made with a second machine. Once she is back within range, she can resume her normal migration patterns... that is, mentally ping-ponging through every car in the garage, trying to remember where she parked.
• Not That Kind of Doctor: Remember earlier, how Kit doesn't know how to fly? As it turns out, knowledge of how a machine works is not necessarily knowledge of how to use it properly. It is one thing to commandeer a train and intuitively realize she needs approximately a full mile to stop at her current speed. It's another thing entirely to realize that she probably should not be stopping when that train is supposed to be maintaining a steady speed to plow snow off the tracks.

 

[Lioness075]

Working on something for myself later on - what do you all think of these stats with this power? The total points right now are 17, which makes her a middle-of-the-road C rank.

Ability Statistics
Aspect	Scale	Total
HLTH	▌▌	2
STRN	▌▌	2
DEFN	▌▌	2
AGLT	▌▌	2
INTL	▌▌▌▌	4
WILL	▌▌	2
ENRG	▌▌▌	3

Ghost in the Machine
Kit has the ability to possess machines, generally vehicles. For example, she can transfer her mind into a car. While she is in there, she can see how all that vehicle's systems work together and manipulate it (within specifications) to her liking. To date, she has successfully commandeered various cars and trucks, two different fishing boats, and a small training airplane. Conceivably, she could have taken over passenger airliner she took to Vegas, but... she doesn't actually know how to fly, and she likes being alive and not in jail.

• Insider Knowledge: While inside a machine, Kit quickly develops an intuitive and intimate understanding of how that particular machine works. However, she's not an engineer, much less an academic type, so good luck trying to get her to explain anything more intricate than "I told it to move and it did. Also it needs an oil change."
  
• Hotwired: For two or three days after Kit has taken over a vehicle, she has limited external control over it. Mostly this makes her a walking key fob, but she's managed to coax her own car to start up remotely, go into drive, and creep toward her. Unfortunately, it only goes in straight lines, and tops out at around seven miles an hour.

Limitations

• We Interrupt this Program: When Kit takes over a vehicle, there is a fraction of a section in which the engine often stalls and electronic systems glitch out. Sometimes it happens for as long as several seconds, especially in complex vehicles. This is, of course, Dangerous With A Capital D.
  
• The Blind Leading The Blind: Kit... can't actually see what she's doing, because cars don't have eyes. She has a vague sense of where her mechanical body is, and can sense other vehicles in her immediate proximity, but... well... she has a tailgating problem. Luckily, most modern vehicles come with onboard cameras and GPSs. Hearing doesn't seem to be an issue.
  
• Sleeping Beauty: When Kit's mind is inside a machine, it means her mind is not inside her body. It's really obvious when she's used her powers, because she'll be out cold on the floor.
• Roaming Charges: If Kit gets too far away from her body (around two miles), she will be stuck in her current machine until physical contact is made with a second machine. Once she is back within range, she can resume her normal migration patterns... that is, mentally ping-ponging through every car in the garage, trying to remember where she parked.
• Not That Kind of Doctor: Remember earlier, how Kit doesn't know how to fly? As it turns out, knowledge of how a machine works is not necessarily knowledge of how to use it properly. It is one thing to commandeer a train and intuitively realize she needs approximately a full mile to stop at her current speed. It's another thing entirely to realize that she probably should not be stopping when that train is supposed to be maintaining a steady speed to plow snow off the tracks.

Sounds like tons of fun! I'd love to see this character actually created. :3

 

[welian]

Sounds like tons of fun! I'd love to see this character actually created. :3

I'd like to toss her in, but her powers aren't yet specific enough for my liking. I've still got to figure out if it's JUST vehicles, or any machine such as a washer or dryer. And, if it's only vehicles, then why only vehicles, and what does her power define as a vehicle. She control both electric and gas cars, I think, so it's not a matter of motor versus engine... I don't know, I'll have to sleep on it.

 

[Lioness075]

I'd like to toss her in, but her powers aren't yet specific enough for my liking. I've still got to figure out if it's JUST vehicles, or any machine such as a washer or dryer. And, if it's only vehicles, then why only vehicles, and what does her power define as a vehicle. She control both electric and gas cars, I think, so it's not a matter of motor versus engine... I don't know, I'll have to sleep on it.

I would like for her to speed up my dryer time in the dorms from an hour to half an hour, please.

 

[D. Rex]

https://www.rpnation.com/threads/rousseau-e.293076/#post-7409609

I also submit Ernie for critique!

 

[The J]

Behold the sexy body sheet of Enna Cinaed! Heavily WIP of course.

https://www.rpnation.com/threads/cinaed-e.319206/

 

[JustNicole]

https://www.rpnation.com/threads/rousseau-e.293076/#post-7409609

I also submit Ernie for critique!

Minor editing things:

• Under "Once Agent Always An Agent" missing last letter and period
• Galley has an incomplete sentence.
• If no augments, just delete or remove the tab.

Is there supposed to be different colors in the skills section? I see under PRCT green then a light green. Under INTL one bar is marked black. I'm uncertain if this is a bug or an intended feature for either. If they are intentional, explaining them would be helpful.

I'd like to talk about the character biography and traits. I know we typically don't talk much about them, but I am raising a few eyebrows at Ernie's character traits. Specifically, "Hardworking" and "Hip to be Square" don't seem like neutral traits, but positives. I think he can still have these traits, but they'd simply be more positives that would be unlisted. Instead, maybe look at throwing in some more neutral-flavored traits to contrast a more diverse personality and give us a better insight into who Ernie is. If you do want these to be neutral traits, then I'd spend more time contrasting exactly how these are both bad and good because right now they lean heavily towards positive.

"Once an agent, always an agent" doesn't seem like a negative trait to me. This might be personal taste, but I really don't see it as much of a negative as is. The wording makes this seem like a net neutral, particularly when you make reference to the part that "habit of hiring people who can not handle themselves or act accordingly." In my opinion, this trait really seems like "Professionalism" which wouldn't be a negative at all, but a positive, maybe a neutral.

Backstory is good, but the problem is he can't join the FBI as a field agent unless he completes a bachelor's level degree, so he'd need to go back to college at some point to complete his education. Even if he was some amazing police officer, the FBI requirements are strict and there's no way he'd get in otherwise, even if he was more than qualified in other areas.

As for the power itself, I think the power is fun and good, but I worry it still might be a bit too vague. Perhaps his action hero physiology could be explained better by some unconscious combat luck power? You could call it "Luck of the Action Hero" or something like that. It seems to me that would help clear things up with his powers. Those stab wounds that would kill someone? Well he's just lucky he has good training. That bullet hits only centimeters from his heart? Lucky dodge.

Right now, the power seems funky in that you have enhanced strength and enhanced defense for skills yet state he has neither. Moving the power to say luck-based and giving his D-rank some ENRG to explain his survival seems like a win-win in solving that problem. You do you though. I think the power can work as is, but the luck-based would make things clearer for the long term.

I know Ernie is a trained military expert, and thus should have the skills reflecting that, however I do want to talk about the characters in general suffering from some skill creep. This is kind of unrelated to Ernie, but I'm going to mention it in this post anyways.

End of Ernie CS Discussion
I'd like to see us place some sort of limit or restriction on skills in the same way we do powers. Right now, skills are by and large a positive section that are virtually unchecked and have no baring on CCP at present. I'd like to see us restricting skills to few "highlight" abilities that they're incredibly proficient at, a section within skills for things they're okay at, and a section for things they just cannot flat do.

For example, if the character simply cannot cook to save their life that'd be noted in the skills section. Or say they can't sing at all, etc. I think this would be great to provide a healthy balance to the skills section and prevent some skill creep.

It might also be worth potentially tying the number of skills a character possesses to CCP in the future. For example, in the same way a power or augment costs CCP points, a certain number of skills costs CCP points. I know I'm somewhat guilty of breaking this with Holly as she would violate this idea, but I think it's something worth considering.

 

[JustNicole]

Behold the sexy body sheet of Enna Cinaed! Heavily WIP of course.

https://www.rpnation.com/threads/cinaed-e.319206/

Doing a pass over this even though it's still WIP. Sorry for the length, but there was a lot to talk about that should be discussed and looked over I think.

First off, I'm not too certain about the vigilante role. The primary focus of this roleplay is students and staff in AEGIS. This "vigilante" role that has been growing seems like a large step away from that. I do not know if you will be able to get such a character approved.

I love the character traits. I think you do a great job of framing them in both positive and negative lights, particularly the neutral ones. I particularly enjoy the negative trait, and I can see that is setting up your character for some great growth down the line. Thumbs up from me!

Now, the power. Oh boy. Let's talk about this power because it's a doozy of one.

Judging purely based on the power as it is presented so far, there is scenario in which I feel the Commonwealth would EVER allow his limiter to be turned off. His power is simply so destructive and potentially catastrophic that they would certainly prevent him from ever being able to use his powers to his fullest extent, even if he had a blue card. As such, he'd probably still cost you A rank CCP, but realistically only be able to do D rank powers at best with his limiter on.

Now, as for the power itself, I think this is a case of "too many eggs in one basket." For starters, focusing SOLELY on the aspect of generating fire, 4,000 Celsius is stupidly hot. There is actually nothing that has a higher melting point that 4,000 Celsius as that is the melting point at which even diamonds melt. Basically, this character can burn fucking everything to the ground if they wanted. That's already strong as hell. That much fire generation should be a 7/8/9 rank in ENRG by itself, not a measly 4.

Second, let's talk about the dial between his powers. It seems like it costs absolutely nothing to change from say 400 to 4000 Celsius. Shouldn't this require some sort of fuel source? After all, fire only is created by the burning of fuel. In this case, I'm assuming his body is acting as the fuel source, so using this power is actually taking up calories that he is burning. At the very least, burning 400 Celsius should only be sustainable for a short period of time, and 4,000 would be holy fuck you're going to die in like 12 seconds from consuming all your calories and then some levels. In general, I'm incredibly dubious of a "intensity toggle" that is at will though, and I would suggest making the power simply be limited to a single temperature - if you want to keep the other aspects of the power.

Third, how the hell do his wings lift things? Wings aren't designed for lifting up cars or people. They're designed for generating flight - vertical lift, not physically picking something off the ground. How do his wings "grab" onto something or apply leverage? He'd have to step into some funky body positions and postures to be able to say lift a car, if his wings can even handle that, which I don't think any human with bird wings would be able to do with their wings.

Fourth, wouldn't his wings always be on fire? Or is there some kind of toggle?

Fifth, how do his wings "block" bullets? Are these wings solid objects or just constructs of literal fire? The fact the he says create lends them to be constructs of fire. Please clarify this.

In general, I think simply on the heat alone, you're talking about an S rank character. Adding flight, smoke generation with flapping his wings, being able to lift things with said wings, stop bullets, and such adds up for one way too strong ability. I get what you're trying to do, but you need to realize that the more you generalize each aspect, the less each aspect is going to be. If you have fire, flight, lifting, smoke generation, heat immunity, it's all going to be weaker than if you focused on one. You did gimp flight appropriately, but fire, lifting and such are all still very strong.

Also, with regards to the proper powerset, if you're committed to doing the phoenix, I would maybe focus more on the "phoenix dies in a show of flames and combustion, although there are other sources that claim that the legendary bird dies and simply decomposes before being born again" aspect as to me that seems much more interesting, but maybe runs too close to Hadrian.

If you want to keep the powerset more or less as it is right now, I'd suggest this:
Primary power is SOLELY ability to create fire wings, clarify if solid objects or actual flames, nothing about switching between 400/4000 degrees.
Secondary power: Flight ->SOLEY on the ability to generate lift and take off into the air, ALSO need to address the problems of physiology. Just because you can fly doesn't mean you can properly get oxygen to the body, etc like a bird can.
Secondary power: Fire Immunity->SOLEY this so he doesn't burn himself.

I'm not sure if you can fit smoke generation while flying as that can be incredibly strong in and of itself, such as using smoke from flapping wings to blind enemies or provide cover. Lifting should really just be removed all together, and stats bumped up in ENGR to compensate. Avian Shield is removed all together. If he's packing this much heat, he's going to be vulnerable to getting shot and such. This also gets rid of his ability to ramp up his heat which would need to be a third secondary power, so you have to choose to cut something. Could swap flight for this.

Limitations should include something about his fuel source, how long he can maintain the wings, etc.

 

[JustNicole]

D. Rex

With regards to Huckleberry Kingston...

He's a terrible character and needs to completely reworked from the ground up.

Wait. I forgot the /s.

I actually really enjoyed reading over this character! You know a character sheet is good when I can immediately picture how a conversation with such a character and myself might go. I was able to get that from reading over his profile. I love you didn't go the atypical science character route and presented someone who provides a unique spin on the scientist route.

There's only one part of his character sheet that had me slightly confused, namely his ability to keep his white abs. Are they like a sick pack of abs or like flabby white boy who never works out abs? If the former, how does that interact with his casualness? This isn't really a complaint at all nor anything you need to change, but I'm curious how his desire to work out or get self-defense training interplay with his gentle personality and casual demeanor.

I think he's a great addition to the cast of characters at AEGIS. I can't wait to see him in action.

 

[D. Rex]

D. Rex

With regards to Huckleberry Kingston...

He's a terrible character and needs to completely reworked from the ground up.

Wait. I forgot the /s.

I actually really enjoyed reading over this character! You know a character sheet is good when I can immediately picture how a conversation with such a character and myself might go. I was able to get that from reading over his profile. I love you didn't go the atypical science character route and presented someone who provides a unique spin on the scientist route.

There's only one part of his character sheet that had me slightly confused, namely his ability to keep his white abs. Are they like a sick pack of abs or like flabby white boy who never works out abs? If the former, how does that interact with his casualness? This isn't really a complaint at all nor anything you need to change, but I'm curious how his desire to work out or get self-defense training interplay with his gentle personality and casual demeanor.

I think he's a great addition to the cast of characters at AEGIS. I can't wait to see him in action.

I hope this helps to clarify things!

 

[Natealie]

Ok so this is my first time in this rp so I hope that I did this right.

https://www.rpnation.com/threads/nicholas-c.319603/

I also couldn't figure out how to get the bars to work so if somebody could explain that then I would be grateful.

 

[Lioness075]

Ok so this is my first time in this rp so I hope that I did this right.

https://www.rpnation.com/threads/nicholas-c.319603/

I also couldn't figure out how to get the bars to work so if somebody could explain that then I would be grateful.

Most of us have just colored them like you can with text. The tipping bucket icon in the bar above where you type responses does this for you. You just need to highlight the bars first.

 

[Necessity4Fun]

But do check the BBCode tags afterwards!
The table tags [ td ] could break and not close properly by being interpolated by the new color tags

Always check them carefully after using the Rich Text Editor >o<

 

[Natealie]

Ok. Thank you both of you. I'll try to play with that tomorrow when I'm on my laptop again.

 

[JustNicole]

@Nick Ton Cutter

Let me say first off this character's face claim isn't hot enough! I have it on the authority of a randy, straight older lady that this face claim isn't hot enough. #MakeAegisHotAgain

Hey Nick, I saw your character was marked done. For future reference, when someone finishes their character, they usually post a thread link here so we as a community and look over the CS and give you feedback on your character. It's not a problem if you don't, but it will make the approval process significantly slower if you do not post a link here as it takes longer for our character committee to see it and respond to it with feedback.

The first thing I'd like to point is that you're missing a pretty important section of the CS. No worries though! This may or may not be missing because someone forgot to put in the template CS which you copy and pasted from. The section is called "Limiter" and goes under the "General" tab between "Rank" and "Role". Your character, being under the age of 18, would still have an active limiter, so that's something super important to include, and can add a really fun side to a character. You can find out more about the limiters in the Roleplay Manual.

Under Appearance, I have a question regarding his figure. "Well build, slim in a way" is a little strange to put. Could you maybe clarify this just slightly? It's super minor compared to everything else, but would be great to clarify exactly what this means.

I love his personality traits. You did a great job of providing a positive trait, two true neutrals, and a negative trait. Sometimes even I struggle to come with up a balanced character in terms of personality, but you have done so rather nicely.

I do think it is prudent to go back and review your grammar, particularly in the Biology section, although it is very present throughout. I noticed some grammar mistakes like "Ignis will never do something that he find out morally wrong" instead of "Ignis will never do something that he finds out is morally wrong" or "Ignis sometimes put on himself dangerous goal when he doesn't even know what await him", instead of "Ignis sometimes put on himself onto dangerous goal when he doesn't even know what awaits him". Giving the CS the extra layer of polish with a proof read over and fixing those flagrent grammar mistakes will boost the likelihood that the members of the Character Committee will vote yes on your character which is what we want!

Keep in mind, one of the rules for the roleplay under posting as stated in this post in the Roleplay Manual states that: "This is roleplay is listed as Detailed, but it’s what I’d like to called "lazy" Detailed. It means your writing should be technically accurate, with a margin of error related to how inebriated you are on a given night. Technically accurate, meaning that your posts are in English, use full sentences, have been run through the spellchecker, and it's all grammatically correct."

Backstory and Relationships
Let's talk about my favorite part of a character: backstory. This is what I consider the heartbeat of any character, and Ignis is certainly no exception! I did enjoy reading your character's backstory. I like the plot you have set up with background characters, and I can certainly see the arc you're planning on for this character. One thing I would like to see add for realism sake is some kind of incident that triggers his mother's latent super gene. At an age that old, the gene isn't usually activated unless there is some major incident, say a car crash, that occurs. Perhaps she falls down the stairs and lands hard on that arm which grows large? You can really do almost anything with this, so be creative!

As for relationships, let's clear up a few things. Ellie would either be dead or locked up. Since it seems clear from the history she has essentially lost all intelligence, it'd be virtually impossible she wasn't killed or locked up. Simply walking around in public would trigger someone to call the Commonwealth and have them investigate, doubly so if they tried to attack someone.

Einz's secret project would need to be revealed. You don't have to reveal it publicly if you do not desire to do so, but at the very least you would need to clear this and run it by welian , Teh Frixz and Luddeus our resident GMs here at AEGIS.

If you want to bring back David in a major way, which I suspect you will want to do, you will have to create a separate PC for him down the line. Other than that, the relationships look good. Great job!

Powers and Skills
Now, I will start out this next section by saying that while I feel powers/skills should be the least important section of building any character, this will probably be my longest section simply because it is critical you get the powers and skills correct and balanced. This is the part the Character Committee is most critical of, and typically the biggest reason characters don’t get approved or take a long time to get approved.

Jumping past the powers for a moment, Ignis’ skills read more like supporting powers than skills. “Always at the fullest” would be something like a regenerator power or ability, not a skill, and probably will not pass. “Adaptation” reads like a regenerator power as well, not a skill, and will probably not pass. “A well observant” besides the obvious grammar errors seems okayish. I’m not thrilled with the skill, but it could be okay. Skills should really be things like cooking, speaking Spanish, riding a unicycle, things like that which you’d be normally able to do being just a normal human.

As for the power itself, there’s a couple of things that jump out to me. How does the +1 into any skill really affect him? This is by far the most important part of the power, and the one you need to explain in detail. How specifically does getting a boost to each of those powers help him? Please break this down for each emotion in detail with what their maximum limits are and such under these boosts.

I’m not a big fan of his secondary power with the overload. It seems like it would be better as a limitation to be honest, but even then it runs into a major problem which is godmodding. If his powers activate, it would technically autohit everyone within range without giving them a chance to react. This would meet the requirements for godmodding and autohit, and as such I don’t think would be allowed a secondary power.

Useless as a limitation isn’t really a good limitation. Everyone’s powers are useless in the right circumstances pretty much. It’s pretty much an unspoken limitation. I’d much rather you put in a clearer limitation that is more well defined and relating directly to the power. Keep in mind, you can have more than three limitations, and will likely need such for your power after you talk about how the boosts affect your character.

That’s all the feedback I have for right now. I do enjoy the character. Looking forward to your response!

 

[JustNicole]

Ok so this is my first time in this rp so I hope that I did this right.

https://www.rpnation.com/threads/nicholas-c.319603/

I also couldn't figure out how to get the bars to work so if somebody could explain that then I would be grateful.

Keep in mind you need to read the roleplay rules. Specifically, the rules state you need to apply in the Help Desk to join the roleplay before filling out a character sheet. In the past, you couldn't see any other threads until you posted in the Help Desk and were approved, but the recent changes have modified things somewhat. You still need to do that before anyone is even going to take a look at your character for approval.

 

[Necessity4Fun]

On Limiters, currently there is NO information on them in the Roleplay Manual, we are seeing to fix that.
In the meantime, I have some old screenshots from our very first CS layout:

You can ask me or others further about these. I, for example, have been around since the start of this RP and wouldn't mind in helping!
Sorry for the all the trouble, we're still rebuilding and stuff after the update >w<

 

[Natealie]

Sorry. I legitimately couldn't find the rules and I thought the roleplay manual was the same thing. I'll do that tomorrow once I'm on my laptop. Thank you for letting me know.