Opinion Blocking Before Talking?

[Victorian]

Okay so this seems much more appropriate yeah!

So, I'll give a little context about this: I do have a friend who did not even offer me to talk about something bothering them. I asked what was wrong, ya know taking initiative, and I was removed without question. So, I'd like to know everyone's stance on this kind of thing; the big question. Just to get some differing opinions! (I'm autistic so I kinda always see things outside the box)

How do you feel about blocking before talking? Do you think you and your friend should try and talk it out before a block? Or do you think a block is the solid answer to avoid confrontation? Do you think it's wrong to block without talking? A pretty heavy debate but I'm really curious to learn everyone's viewpoints on this. It might just give me some perspectives I could really use here!

My personal stance?

I think blocking is what you should do after you've already tried talking. If you've given your friend a couple of chances and they clearly don't care about doing the right thing at all or even working with you to see how you two can resolve things; I think blocking is ideal then. I only think this because I do believe in honest mistakes so I think trying to talk first at least gives that opportunity to see if it's an honest mistake, it just shouldn't become an endless cycle. More of an "okay you want me to tell you so this doesn't happen again" kind of thing.

 

[Nilio]

I'm guilty of being a bit trigger happy when it comes to blocking. If someone gives me a weird vibe I'll just block them, but when it comes to friends it's a trickier situation. I have blocked really good friends before, usually it's a case where I have to choose between two friends. I've had guy friends who date my girl friends and totally mess them up, which follows with a block.
I'm the kind of person who hates conflict and confrontation so I probably do run away from my problems rather than facing them, especially when it comes to blocking. Honestly I think people should talk before blocking, which is something I need to work on.

 

[thumbelinaaa]

I think it depends. If it's a friend I've known for a long time, talking it out would be best. But if talking to a person is negatively impacting my mentalhealth well... ya need to be removed, if only until I clear my head.

 

[Angelofdarkness]

I think it depends on the situation. I myself struggle with ‘social cues’ I don’t always understand what’s considered ‘socially acceptable’, and sometimes this leads to miscomumication on my part.


However, I tend to block people when they are creepy / making me uncomfortable or when talking hasn’t worked (in the present or the past). I’m in my early twenties and I'm realizing I simply don’t have time for toxic people in my life (I’m not saying your friend is and I don’t know the whole situation). But blocking someone right off the bat?

I don’t know maybe they needed some space? Maybe they couldn’t handle the idea of confrontation? I’m not sure. I’d suggest waiting it out? See if maybe they decide to unblock you and talk later?

I hope things go better for you.

 

[Victorian]

I think it depends on the situation. I myself struggle with ‘social cues’ I don’t always understand what’s considered ‘socially acceptable’, and sometimes this leads to miscomumication on my part.


However, I tend to block people when they are creepy / making me uncomfortable or when talking hasn’t worked (in the present or the past). I’m in my early twenties and I'm realizing I simply don’t have time for toxic people in my life (I’m not saying your friend is and I don’t know the whole situation). But blocking someone right off the bat?

I don’t know maybe they needed some space? Maybe they couldn’t handle the idea of confrontation? I’m not sure. I’d suggest waiting it out? See if maybe they decide to unblock you and talk later?

I hope things go better for you.

Oh thank you! Yes, I am confused too. We did talk about things before and she'd tell me that everything was alright or would stress it wasn't me but this time I do believe she might've been hiding something ):

I hope we end up getting to talk too! Thank you for sharing your honest opinion with me!

 

[Idea]

It's hard to say, but I doubt I would block a friend. They would have to really do something utterly outrageous for me to block them, to the point where I'm not sure where the line between that thing and calling the police would be. The reason for this is that I don't generally block people even if I do happen to hate them, or they make me umcomfortable or anything, because I have a bigger tendency to try to refute what such people say and try to learn from such confrontations... Basically, I mostly refuse to block people, especially on RPN when the most you accomplish is them not being able to send you PMs and not viewing what they write, you don't actually even stop them from able to reply on your stuff.

I guess I'll say that blocking should be done at the level of harassment where it's too high to ignore and too difficult to deal with, but not something which could actually reasonably be reported. Something like someone who keeps pestering you for an RP you don't want to do, or someone who just doesn't have the slightest bit of civility towards you yet keeps showing up wherever you go.

Personally, one of the biggest reasons why I blocked people was actually just to keep myself in check, people with whom I felt I had too much of a tendency to get into arguments with and felt like it would continue if I kept seeing their posts. Then again, that one's probably not overly relevant to the discussion at hand.

 

[Classix]

Not sure a solution will be found here friend, life isn't so easy to be instantly solved by a poll of peers.

As for me, I do try to talk things out with friends IRL and sometimes some of my Online buddies, usually more so when I was the one that wronged them. But I've had more then my childish moments where I've ignored them till I've gathered my own feelings to work things out. Not always though, I've lost friends as well. Either it was their choice or I just decided to cut off all connection (Online and offline) it is sad to go through and look back on. Life continues regardless of your woes though. Funny enough the phrase "Time heals all wounds" has more then a bit of truth.

 

[Yenju]

This might not give you much insight about your friend in particular as each person is different, but personally I would only block someone if they were harassing me in some way, or did something so horrible I couldn’t think of forgiving them for some time, or maybe forever.

There are some very sensitive people though, and if you offend them (even if unintentionally), they would be upset with you and block you. I normally don’t befriend people like this because it can be very tiring, but depending on how close you are (were?) to your friend, it might be worth the effort to reach out to them after some time.

 

[Tove]

My own personal stance, if I block someone or stop communicating with them on permanent basis I can guarantee that they are no friend of mine. A true friendship won't get to the point of where you need to block each other or whatever, you're going to talk out your issues. You are going to communicate with one another on what's bothering you and reach a resolution because if that friendship means something you'll work it out.

Maybe it is because I'm older now that things don't bother me as much as they used to or I can weed out the drama from what is actually good in my life. Like I mentioned, anyone I close the line of communication with is not someone I value as a friend. I don't think it's wrong to block but everyone is different. What works for one person may not work for the next.

 

[Tyriant]

It sounds to me like your friend didn't think the relationship was worth saving, are they avoiding you IRL as well?

You did the right thing by reaching out, trying to open a dialogue is difficult for anyone and it shows that you valued your friendship. But even if talking things out is objectively the right thing to do its impossible to force a conversation with someone who doesn't want it. Even IRL they can simply walk away if they don't want to talk. Which is fine, sometimes that happens.

Personally I try to talk before blocking, but I have been guilty of blocking without any explanation. Most of the time that happens when the person I block says or does something that hits a deep rooted "trigger" in me (past abuses make certain behaviors impossible to tolerate for me and its best for everyone if I yeet) but even then its a kneejerk reaction on my end. I'm not implying that you did anything like that, just giving my reasoning for instablocking when I do it.

 

[Zipper Man]

How do you feel about blocking before talking?

It's valid way of dealing with things. Like, "talking it out" can be so emotionally tiring that you just don't want to deal with it.

And depending on why you blocked a person, sometimes there's simply nothing to talk about because not everything can be solved by an apology.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Kind of with the above person actually. If I think your a toxic person or talking isn’t going to improve the situation I just leave. I myself have a bad habit of wanting the last word so I can see the desire to hash things out.

But I’ve also learned over time that having the last word doesn’t always help. Indeed sometimes I just talk myself into a worse situation than if I had left well enough alone and left at the start of the situation.

So it really does depend on the situation and the people involved. Perhaps your friend thought blocking was better than getting in an argument or saying something that would hurt your feelings.

 

[CecilDMMasters]

Kid of depends. I started my RPing on a site full of trolls and toxic RPers and I admit that I blocked a few that gave a bad vibe and when I went to their pages it was pretty much full of all levels of drama. I didn't see a reason to even try talking when they already were advertising people blocking them, and screaming about how people wouldn't be in charge of their happiness.

Also, people who try to force fetish and sex into an RP or are trying to force a RP that my rules state I'm not interested in get blocked pretty fast.

A friend who is being annoying or acting weird I'm more likely to just stop talking after getting a run around with communication to see if they chill out or want to admit what's wrong once they calm down.

 

[ashwynne]

It depends on the situation (as far as I'm concerned).

If there is a friendship/personal relationship there then I think blocking without any form of communication about the issues at hand is incredibly childish (barring obvious situations like abusive friendships/relationships, but that's an obvious exception). Someone who has invested time and energy into your life, and vice versa, ought to do the bare minimum courtesy of explaining why they want to cut contact before they do so. If there is such a glaring issue in your/their personality that makes cutting off the friendship something they feel is necessary, then that ought to be explained--even if only to give the other person an opportunity to change and improve as a person.

In the case of strangers/random people you don't have a personal connection with, I see no issue with blocking--regardless of reason. Whether you don't like their avatar, don't like their posts, or simply feel like it. No explanation needed.

Tldr; if it's with a person who you consider a friend/have some form of relationship with you should never block without explaining first (barring exceptions like abusive relationships, obviously) even if you don't wait for a response following your explanation and block as soon as it's sent. In the case of strangers/people you have no real connection with, block away.

Just my opinion though, I know there's a wiiiiide range of beliefs when it comes to blocking.

 

[Bi0S]

Any forum I've ever been on I block people immediately who I wish to have no correspondence with from the beginning, but rarely any other time. If I see something I don't like I figure it's best to not give them the opportunity to speak to me from the get go. But other than that it's unlikely I'll block anyone, even if I have an issue with them. You'd have to harass me to get a block. I just can't imagine anyone doing that to me though.

 

[Emotional Enigma]

It depends on the issue but even if it upsets me, I normally would say no one needs to know your reasons for blocking them. It's your account and your well being. If blocking someone helps you maintain a peace then so be it, that is why the button is there.
If its something minuscule like a disagreement in RP styles, I feel like it might be a little rude or over dramatic but if it's like something they said that borders a prejudice or anything sexist, racist, etc - then they don't have to give someone an explanation.

 

[Melpomene]

It really depends.

The only people I have blocked so far, without talking to them, are people that have legitimately made me feel unsafe or have hurt me so much emotionally I couldn't really dream of speaking to them. I usually don't ever just cut people off, even if they are being very hurtful. Do annoying or anything.

The people who make me feel unsafe usually are people I am not close to, but they make certain comments that I very much don't like and they should know better. Such as sexual comments or trying to get in my pants, and not as a joke but in a creepy way (hope you guys get what I am saying ). Or they have been straight up harassing me, one of the two.

I have only completely cut ties, unannounced, with two people I became friends with and that is just because the friendship ended up being toxic/abusive or they hurt me emotionally so badly I was unable to even think of confronting them.

Other than that, I think it is best to actually talk to the person first. I myself have actually thought about going back and sending the people I mentioned a brief reasoning as to why I left so abruptly.

But, overall, it is up to you. I think when it comes to friends, as long as they did not do something heinous, you should at least tell them why. Strangers, I can only imagine a stranger would have to do something pretty bad before someone would just randomly block them.

 

[still watching fma]

Depends. The only people I've ever blocked were friends where the friendship soured. And when i did, it was after months of trying to find some common ground. Ultimately, blocking the dude was not because he was too mean, but rsther, because he would have insisted on staying in touch even though we no longer clicked as friends.

 

[AngelCloud]

I would normally only block someone if it gets to the point where I could no longer stand the person or they're constantly in my face. Friend or not

 

[Hige]

I've grown trigger happy. Met too many nasty people while trying to RP, if I get a bad vibe I tend to block and move on now. It's pretty bad on RP discords though.