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Realistic or Modern → Blessed be the mystery of love - 1x1
- Thread starter aurorakoo
- Start date
aurorakoo
New Member
DOMINIC
End of an era and start of something new.
That was the thought going through a dramatic young man’s head as he started University. Such a normal step in one’s life, in a way. At least for someone who was expected to with all the resources. But this was indeed the first time for Dominic to be so far from home - permanently. Vacations to Europe or Asia were nothing compared to having to care for yourself and starting your own life. That’s at least how it felt to him. Properly starting his life far from home. Leaving all the ghosts behind.
Dominic was so used to being taken care of. Whether it was home with everything he needed or even in rehab quite literally watched over he had someone there. Now, he had people on the other side of a phone line but the physical distance from everything known was a bit paralyzing.
All that and more was spiraling around his brain and now he didn’t even remember anything he had read for two pages. Frowning, Dominic flipped the page back and started reading again. Suffice to say he had trouble concentrating. He had stopped unpacking in need of relaxing but it felt rather hard. It wasn’t his parents library or the comfort of his own bed he was reading in. Although beautiful, it was an unknown apartment he hadn’t made acquaintance with yet. For someone thinking himself as somewhat adventurous he sure was nervous of a room.
Shutting his book quickly Dominic scanned the living area for a window. He didn’t know when the other inhabitant was about to come but perhaps they didn’t take offense for what he was about to do. As he stood up from the armchair - that was there when he came in - he fumbled around in his pocket. Walking to the window that had a large and nice windowsill in front of it Dominic found his pack of cigarettes. Sliding the window open and squeezing himself on the windowsill he took one, placed it on his lips and lighted it up. As he inhaled he felt his body and just seconds later his mind at a bit more ease.
The street outside was quite busy with people walking and cars driving by but mostly students moving in. The apartment was like a beehive in the middle of everything as people moved in and out. He took another breath with his lips on the cigarette.
Dominic tried his best not to get the smoke inside. What a good first impression would it be if the other guy came in. Classic.
Cealen
★彡
Things felt… different. Off, maybe. Jasper didn’t know if it was his nerves getting to him or just being simply in a new situation. As he walked down the sidewalk, weaving through the seas of people effortlessly, Jasper couldn’t help but feel like something was bound to happen. Expecting something crazy to happen on your first day of university may be something lots of people hope for. Jasper really didn’t know if he wanted something exciting to happen or just have a boring, uneventful first day. How heavy his suit case felt being dragged behind him made him feel like he was going to get tired enough from moving in. Hopefully whoever his roommate is is… normal. Jasper wasn’t too thrilled that he was going to find out who he was expected to live with for the next couple of months only today, but he takes what he can get. Nothing comes from complaining too much, right? Jasper’s steps were excited, him taking long strides as he approached the apartment building his apartment would be in.
As if on cue, the moment he arrived there, his phone buzzed loudly in his pocket. Flipping out his phone with one hand and looking at the screen lighting up as he brought it up, he could already tell who was texting him without even looking at the name.
Jassss!!! Did you arrive yet?? Do you like it there? if not you’re still going to be stuck there regardless :-P The text message read, and Jasper already knew he would get even more messages if he didn’t reply immediately. She would think he died on transit here if he didn’t.
I just got here. Seems nice though. You don’t need to worry. Jasper texted back, only to get a response within the minute he sent that.
Ooooh that’s good! Arent you scarrred of being all on your own?? lol
You’re only 3 years older than me, Courtney. Stop acting like I am still a baby.
But it’s natural for me to worry, isn’t it? I’m just curious >:-( Jasper let out a sigh at his sister’s antics. He had to guess he was always going to get seen as her baby brother no matter how old he got. But… it is a good thing that his sister wants to check in on him, he guesses. Being a rude asshole to her would be… well, rude.
I’m just messing with you. I only really just got here though. Can’t you wait to text me later?
I want to know what your roommate is like though!! Did you meet him yet??
No.
Then go and meet him!!
I don’t even know if he’s here yet.
You don’t know because you haven’t gone up yet!! Do that!!
Courtney seemed to be pretty dead set on the idea that Jasper can become friends with his roommate, as that’s what happened with her and her own college roommate. Only because of Courtney’s and Elizabeth’s- his other sister- pushing for him to get a roommate instead of living alone like he wanted to was the only reason why he had one in the first place. They argued it would make up social time lost due to him stopping going to high school. Jasper was unconvinced, but he guessed it couldn’t hurt to have at least someone around. Especially considering how much he stuck around family rather than being independent before. He thought that dorming would give him that independence alone, but… he doesn’t know.
Ok, I will, I yield. I’ll let you know, K?
Yayyy! Def let me know!! :-D
Jasper slid his phone back into his jacket pocket, fishing out his room assignment paper and key as he did so. Room 365… must be on the third floor, then. Jasper already groaned at the idea of bringing up all his heavy luggage with him. Can’t someone just do it for him…? Whatever. He resolved himself quickly, preparing himself for whatever encounter he may meet in this room as he headed up the stairs in the apartment building, not wanting to even bother with the crowded, packed elevators.
Soon enough, he was standing out in front of the wooden door, “365” in golden plate lettering on the door. A faint smell was coming from the room, and Jasper scrunched his nose up in disgust at the smell. Ugh, smoking? Is his roommate the one doing that? Can he have enough tact to do it outside? Guess I’ll have to remind him to do it outside… Jasper thought to himself, already having a bad feeling about this. He noticed that the door was already propped open slightly, unlocked, even more further showing that his roomate is in this room. Well… here goes nothing.
Jasper pushed open the door with one hand, then put his foot down to prop open the door as he picked up his suit case with both hands to bring it inside to the apartment. “Hello…?” He questioned out loud, hoping for a response, but when he returned his gaze to look up all words left his throat. No…. it can’t be that, right? Huh? Jasper felt an immediate sense of dread flush through him the minute he saw who his roommate even was. No no no. He nearly didn’t recognize him, but seeing that cigarette in his hand made him connect the dots instantly. In a state of surprise, Jasper just stood there, blinking at him without saying anything, before turning around and heading towards the door.
“...Sorry. I must have gotten the wrong room. I must have read my room assignment wrong. Bye.” He quickly said as he attempted to exit out in the hallway, a tight grip on the suitcase in his hands. He couldn’t deal with this. No. He truly couldn’t.
As if on cue, the moment he arrived there, his phone buzzed loudly in his pocket. Flipping out his phone with one hand and looking at the screen lighting up as he brought it up, he could already tell who was texting him without even looking at the name.
Jassss!!! Did you arrive yet?? Do you like it there? if not you’re still going to be stuck there regardless :-P The text message read, and Jasper already knew he would get even more messages if he didn’t reply immediately. She would think he died on transit here if he didn’t.
I just got here. Seems nice though. You don’t need to worry. Jasper texted back, only to get a response within the minute he sent that.
Ooooh that’s good! Arent you scarrred of being all on your own?? lol
You’re only 3 years older than me, Courtney. Stop acting like I am still a baby.
But it’s natural for me to worry, isn’t it? I’m just curious >:-( Jasper let out a sigh at his sister’s antics. He had to guess he was always going to get seen as her baby brother no matter how old he got. But… it is a good thing that his sister wants to check in on him, he guesses. Being a rude asshole to her would be… well, rude.
I’m just messing with you. I only really just got here though. Can’t you wait to text me later?
I want to know what your roommate is like though!! Did you meet him yet??
No.
Then go and meet him!!
I don’t even know if he’s here yet.
You don’t know because you haven’t gone up yet!! Do that!!
Courtney seemed to be pretty dead set on the idea that Jasper can become friends with his roommate, as that’s what happened with her and her own college roommate. Only because of Courtney’s and Elizabeth’s- his other sister- pushing for him to get a roommate instead of living alone like he wanted to was the only reason why he had one in the first place. They argued it would make up social time lost due to him stopping going to high school. Jasper was unconvinced, but he guessed it couldn’t hurt to have at least someone around. Especially considering how much he stuck around family rather than being independent before. He thought that dorming would give him that independence alone, but… he doesn’t know.
Ok, I will, I yield. I’ll let you know, K?
Yayyy! Def let me know!! :-D
Jasper slid his phone back into his jacket pocket, fishing out his room assignment paper and key as he did so. Room 365… must be on the third floor, then. Jasper already groaned at the idea of bringing up all his heavy luggage with him. Can’t someone just do it for him…? Whatever. He resolved himself quickly, preparing himself for whatever encounter he may meet in this room as he headed up the stairs in the apartment building, not wanting to even bother with the crowded, packed elevators.
Soon enough, he was standing out in front of the wooden door, “365” in golden plate lettering on the door. A faint smell was coming from the room, and Jasper scrunched his nose up in disgust at the smell. Ugh, smoking? Is his roommate the one doing that? Can he have enough tact to do it outside? Guess I’ll have to remind him to do it outside… Jasper thought to himself, already having a bad feeling about this. He noticed that the door was already propped open slightly, unlocked, even more further showing that his roomate is in this room. Well… here goes nothing.
Jasper pushed open the door with one hand, then put his foot down to prop open the door as he picked up his suit case with both hands to bring it inside to the apartment. “Hello…?” He questioned out loud, hoping for a response, but when he returned his gaze to look up all words left his throat. No…. it can’t be that, right? Huh? Jasper felt an immediate sense of dread flush through him the minute he saw who his roommate even was. No no no. He nearly didn’t recognize him, but seeing that cigarette in his hand made him connect the dots instantly. In a state of surprise, Jasper just stood there, blinking at him without saying anything, before turning around and heading towards the door.
“...Sorry. I must have gotten the wrong room. I must have read my room assignment wrong. Bye.” He quickly said as he attempted to exit out in the hallway, a tight grip on the suitcase in his hands. He couldn’t deal with this. No. He truly couldn’t.
aurorakoo
New Member
DOMINIC
The cigarette burned slowly as Dominic looked at it in his hands. He felt the wind on his face and listened to distant noises of the streets. As he sat there nothing was much different. It was the same cigarette smell and the same feeling of the breeze. Still it made him feel a bit nostalgic. How would his life start here? What was to come? How was he going to survive? He frowned at his own thoughts - what a brat he actually was, so childlike. A grown man scared to be away from home. In all honesty, he wasn’t grown, not even close.
As he was in his own thoughts he almost jumped when he heard the door open. Damn. He quickly flicked his cigarette outside and waved his hands to get some of the smoke out - like it did anything. Dominic looked at the door and only saw a tip of a shoe. He decided to leave the window open so maybe the cigarette smell would exit. This was it.
Dominic straightened his back and could hear a small crack. He had been a bit tense for a few days and so was his shoulders and back. The pressure slightly exiting his body felt amazing. He stared at the door in anticipation. Dominic hadn’t given much mind to what kind of roommate he wanted or expected. Honestly it could be anything. In these circles you never knew who to expect. But he wasn’t indeed ready for who entered the room.
Dominic felt his heart start to pound like crazy, ready to burst out. His hands were sweaty and internally he was screaming. Outside you could only see a bewildered expression on his face. It was Jasper. Jasper Wiske. The one that got away? Kind of. And now he was about to run from him again.
“No”, Dominic said surprisingly hastily and loudly as he stood up from the window sill, taking a big step towards Jasper.
There they were. Standing face to face with each other. How long had it been? Crazy to think that this was the one Dominic was so close with. The one he had spent every minute with and experienced everything, everything. His notebooks were still full of poems he had written about that boy years ago. He had saved every one of them. Quite honestly Jasper hadn’t passed Dominic’s mind in a while. Sometimes like a distant memory he would visit his thoughts. But often it was way too painful of a memory to bathe in. So he unloaded it in writing or pushed it away all together.
“Uh, hey Jasper”, Dominic said awkwardly, “it’s been a while.”
Oh, what a sensitive thing to say after everything Dominic had made Jasper go through. Dominic didn’t want to visit that time since it wasn’t easy for him either. But he couldn’t deny it had all come as a consequence of his actions.
Dominic opened his mouth clearly to try to say something but couldn’t. Couldn’t, wouldn’t and didn’t know what to say. Was there anything left to say even? He wanted to tell he had missed him but it felt inappropriate.
"It's nice to see you", he said a bit sheepishly.
Cealen
★彡
Jasper paused halfway in his escape out the door, feeling every muscle in his legs suddenly tense up and refuse to let him leave. Does he really have to talk to him? Can’t he just let Jasper leave and forget they ever even saw each other again? ...It may be good to check if this is actually his room, though. If it was… Jasper, on instinct to prove to himself that this was not his room, pulled out the paper with the room assignment on it, dropping his suitcase in the process with a loud thud, not even bothering to give a glance over to Dominic.
...No, this is actually his room. Jasper felt what could only be described as pure dread, his throat going dry once again, his legs still refusing to let him move despite how much he just wanted to leave and never look at Dominic again. He had already accepted that he was going to never see this man again. The fact that he was even in the same room as him now- no, even just in the same university- was something that Jasper never even thought could happen. And now they’re… expected to live together…? Jasper just stared at the paper in his hands, not wanting to look up at Dominic and really have to confirm in his mind that this was actually him and not some joke he was falling for.
Ugh, what is he doing? He feels pathetic acting this way, not being able to face someone like him. He can’t let him know all what he’s truly feeling, obviously, so he should just… play it cool? That will hopefully reduce the need for Jasper to claw his eyes out at the cringe-inducing awkwardness that is bound to happen and let Jasper be able to speak the bare minimum he has to to Dominic. Even Dominic sounds awkward… maybe he knows that what he did was wrong? Jasper almost scoffed out loud at the idea. Yeah, right. He probably just wasn’t expecting to have to deal with the consequences of his behaviors like this and actually confront it. Really, saying “it’s nice to see him”? Like he believes that.
With his resolve firmed, he finally made eye contact with Dominic, shoving the paper inside his pockets in the cleanest motion he could muster, attempting not to appear even the slightest bit nervous. “Sorry… I am in the right room. It has been a while, hasn't it… I wasn’t exactly expecting this, I doubt you were either…” Jasper spoke in an unchanging tone, not letting himself come off as being too friendly. It was a different tone than how he used to talk to him- a lot more rigid, formal, closed off. It was like he was talking to a stranger than to (what used to be) his best friend. His eyes stared instensly at Dominic, trying to pick up on any sort of facial expression to judge how to carry on this conversation.
An idea came to Jasper rather quickly. He has no clue how he didn’t think of this sooner, this idea that will be his salvation from this mess! “Don’t worry, I don’t think we’ll have to be in this siuation for much longer. I can… move to a different room. Easy, right? Just need to call the right people, all that sort of thing. You don’t have to do anything. Ok?” Jasper was talking too much. Nervous thing. Ugh. At least Dominic had to agree, right? He didn’t want to be with him either, he imagined. Everything would work out and he will get a different roommate. Then Jasper can get back to forgetting about Dominic more. He can’t even remember the last time he thought of him. Well, maybe he did. Denial is a powerful thing.
“...That's all. Let me unpack.” Jasper said, voice flat and had a distinct air of “dont talk to me any more” to it. He had spoken enough, and he wanted to run away as soon as possible. He grabbed his suitcase once more, and started heading over to the bedroom in the apartment that wasn’t taken, pushing Dominic out of the way as he walked as fast as he could as he tried to hide away in his room. Ugh, and he has still more stuff to unpack in his car, too…
...No, this is actually his room. Jasper felt what could only be described as pure dread, his throat going dry once again, his legs still refusing to let him move despite how much he just wanted to leave and never look at Dominic again. He had already accepted that he was going to never see this man again. The fact that he was even in the same room as him now- no, even just in the same university- was something that Jasper never even thought could happen. And now they’re… expected to live together…? Jasper just stared at the paper in his hands, not wanting to look up at Dominic and really have to confirm in his mind that this was actually him and not some joke he was falling for.
Ugh, what is he doing? He feels pathetic acting this way, not being able to face someone like him. He can’t let him know all what he’s truly feeling, obviously, so he should just… play it cool? That will hopefully reduce the need for Jasper to claw his eyes out at the cringe-inducing awkwardness that is bound to happen and let Jasper be able to speak the bare minimum he has to to Dominic. Even Dominic sounds awkward… maybe he knows that what he did was wrong? Jasper almost scoffed out loud at the idea. Yeah, right. He probably just wasn’t expecting to have to deal with the consequences of his behaviors like this and actually confront it. Really, saying “it’s nice to see him”? Like he believes that.
With his resolve firmed, he finally made eye contact with Dominic, shoving the paper inside his pockets in the cleanest motion he could muster, attempting not to appear even the slightest bit nervous. “Sorry… I am in the right room. It has been a while, hasn't it… I wasn’t exactly expecting this, I doubt you were either…” Jasper spoke in an unchanging tone, not letting himself come off as being too friendly. It was a different tone than how he used to talk to him- a lot more rigid, formal, closed off. It was like he was talking to a stranger than to (what used to be) his best friend. His eyes stared instensly at Dominic, trying to pick up on any sort of facial expression to judge how to carry on this conversation.
An idea came to Jasper rather quickly. He has no clue how he didn’t think of this sooner, this idea that will be his salvation from this mess! “Don’t worry, I don’t think we’ll have to be in this siuation for much longer. I can… move to a different room. Easy, right? Just need to call the right people, all that sort of thing. You don’t have to do anything. Ok?” Jasper was talking too much. Nervous thing. Ugh. At least Dominic had to agree, right? He didn’t want to be with him either, he imagined. Everything would work out and he will get a different roommate. Then Jasper can get back to forgetting about Dominic more. He can’t even remember the last time he thought of him. Well, maybe he did. Denial is a powerful thing.
“...That's all. Let me unpack.” Jasper said, voice flat and had a distinct air of “dont talk to me any more” to it. He had spoken enough, and he wanted to run away as soon as possible. He grabbed his suitcase once more, and started heading over to the bedroom in the apartment that wasn’t taken, pushing Dominic out of the way as he walked as fast as he could as he tried to hide away in his room. Ugh, and he has still more stuff to unpack in his car, too…
aurorakoo
New Member
DOMINIC
Dominic followed Jasper with his eyes and tried to get something out of his expression. It was cold and strange. It’s like he didn’t know the boy. In fact he actually didn’t. Dominic didn’t know what was going on in Jasper’s life. How’s his parents? What is he doing? Studying? What does he like? He knew this boy from the past but that was far gone. And Dominic indeed understood why Jasper was distant. What he did was wrong but in a way he felt unfair. It wasn’t his fault, right? He was made to do it. But Jasper didn’t know that and Dominic wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell. Or maybe he didn’t have courage. Would it even change anything?
As Jasper pushed Dominic out of the way his expression went from surprised to sad. He looked away and frowned but quickly tried to change his expression to something more neutral and turned around.
“Look, you don’t have to move away”, Dominic started and took a step forward, “I will be out of the way, completely.”
What a lie. Deep down Dominic knew he wouldn’t. How could he? He wanted his friend back and this felt like a new opportunity. A way to fix everything. And as the thought of things being unfixable creeped in he stubbornly ignored it. He had felt bad for years about what happened. Yes, this is the chance to fix things and end the suffering not only of his conscience but just the feeling of losing a dear friend.
“I’m sure we will figure this out”, Dominic said to Jasper and was brave enough to flash a smile though a melancholic one.
For years Dominic had fought with the feelings of being angry - at himself, the people from his past and even Jasper at some point. Things were hard to accept and to this day he still hadn’t though he had taken some steps towards healing. Helping this was writing. Now it felt like the scar had been ripped open again and it was as sensitive as ever. Had Jasper healed? That Dominic did not know though he could only guess no. Then again he looked like, at that moment, he couldn’t care less about Dominic. Could that really be? Did Jasper even need healing? No, the Jasper Dominic knew wouldn’t be that cold. But the new one, who knows.
“Besides, how has it been going with you?” Dominic asked, desperately trying to seem relaxed and unbothered. Trying his hardest to act like everything was normal. This definitely wasn’t staying true to Dominic saying he would be out of the way. This way he would drive Jasper away even more. Shit, he felt dumb.
Cealen
★彡
Jasper kinda wanted to kill Dominic the moment he heard him continuing to try to talk to him. Can he leave him ALONE? Annoyance ran through every inch of his body, but he mentally put a lid on it before it overflowed out of him. Taking a breath in and out, he glanced back over at Dominic, an unimpressed look on his face.
“You say that, but what are you doing right now? You are very much getting in my way for someone who says he wouldn’t. If you truly meant that, you would stop trying to bother me and leave me the hell alone.” Jasper couldn’t help but let the annoyance leak into his voice, him realizing his tone the minute he finished speaking. It was hard to not to always pick up on what he was saying and what it sounded like. It was drilled into him ever since he was young that he needed to. “...Ahem. I’m just trying to unpack… and, you know… sort out everything.” Jasper did not elaborate if he meant he needed to “sort out” his belongings or feelings of seeing Dominic again.
It wasn’t even like he wanted this. Jasper had thought he had… moved onto the next chapter, so to say. How long was he going to hold onto something that fell apart in high school? He’d be… pathetic if he did so. He convinced himself of that a long time ago. That he was stupid for caring about what happened so much and that he just had to get over it. Dominic already probably forgot about him, anyways, he had reationalized. If he truly wanted to fix things, he would have done so already, when Jasper was at his worst. Jasper had entertained the idea in the past that Dominic would realize what he did was wrong and come and save Jasper from everything, then everything would be ok again, and he could feel the same happiness he had felt when they were inseparable from one another. But, that never happened. So Jasper had done what was necessary. That’s all.
“Figure things out…” Jasper repeated what he said bitterly. Like that could happen at this point. There’s been years for Dominic to fix things, and only now is when he wants to actually work through things, paired with a forced-looking smile? “I already told you. I’m going to move into a new apartment. There’s nothing to figure out.” Jasper glanced away from Dominic for a moment, lost in thought, before returning his unfriendly, unfamiliar gaze to him.
“This is… how do you expect to figure this out? Honestly. Because if you think trying to force me to stay here or whatever is going to work, it won’t. Can you just pretend I’m some random stranger…? I probably am like that already to you. Shouldn’t be too hard. Don't cause me more problems.” Jasper sighed, something he is noticing he is doing a lot of. “Stop asking me stuff like how I’m doing in an effort to get me to talk to you more. No hard feelings, I just…. need space. Do what you said you would.” Jasper hoped that was enough to get him off ass, but he knew these were temporary solutions to this. Dominic clearly hadn’t moved on like he thought in the past… ugh, someone like this is too confusing to think about. He stood there for a moment, hoping to see Dominic back away from him and allow him to proceed actually into his room.
“You say that, but what are you doing right now? You are very much getting in my way for someone who says he wouldn’t. If you truly meant that, you would stop trying to bother me and leave me the hell alone.” Jasper couldn’t help but let the annoyance leak into his voice, him realizing his tone the minute he finished speaking. It was hard to not to always pick up on what he was saying and what it sounded like. It was drilled into him ever since he was young that he needed to. “...Ahem. I’m just trying to unpack… and, you know… sort out everything.” Jasper did not elaborate if he meant he needed to “sort out” his belongings or feelings of seeing Dominic again.
It wasn’t even like he wanted this. Jasper had thought he had… moved onto the next chapter, so to say. How long was he going to hold onto something that fell apart in high school? He’d be… pathetic if he did so. He convinced himself of that a long time ago. That he was stupid for caring about what happened so much and that he just had to get over it. Dominic already probably forgot about him, anyways, he had reationalized. If he truly wanted to fix things, he would have done so already, when Jasper was at his worst. Jasper had entertained the idea in the past that Dominic would realize what he did was wrong and come and save Jasper from everything, then everything would be ok again, and he could feel the same happiness he had felt when they were inseparable from one another. But, that never happened. So Jasper had done what was necessary. That’s all.
“Figure things out…” Jasper repeated what he said bitterly. Like that could happen at this point. There’s been years for Dominic to fix things, and only now is when he wants to actually work through things, paired with a forced-looking smile? “I already told you. I’m going to move into a new apartment. There’s nothing to figure out.” Jasper glanced away from Dominic for a moment, lost in thought, before returning his unfriendly, unfamiliar gaze to him.
“This is… how do you expect to figure this out? Honestly. Because if you think trying to force me to stay here or whatever is going to work, it won’t. Can you just pretend I’m some random stranger…? I probably am like that already to you. Shouldn’t be too hard. Don't cause me more problems.” Jasper sighed, something he is noticing he is doing a lot of. “Stop asking me stuff like how I’m doing in an effort to get me to talk to you more. No hard feelings, I just…. need space. Do what you said you would.” Jasper hoped that was enough to get him off ass, but he knew these were temporary solutions to this. Dominic clearly hadn’t moved on like he thought in the past… ugh, someone like this is too confusing to think about. He stood there for a moment, hoping to see Dominic back away from him and allow him to proceed actually into his room.
aurorakoo
New Member
DOMINIC
At first Dominic only felt anger. It was a defense mechanism. No matter what he would answer fire back with fire. But gladly this time he got a hold of his rational side and could calm himself. A burst of emotion would only make things worse. Funny. Jasper was always able to do that to Dominic. Jasper’s tranquility made him feel more calm as well. He had helped and saved Dominic so many times that frankly he owed him.
A stranger. The word echoed in Dominic’s head and he felt...shocked. For a second his heart raced and his palms got much sweatier. He absolutely knew it was true. No matter how close you are with someone you could always be ripped apart and the relationship spiral into the gloom fate of being no more. What did Dominic really know about Jasper? Seemed like nothing. This was a stranger in front of him and quite frankly Dominic didn’t like this version. But Dominic stubbornly tried to deny the fact that they were nothing but a face from the past to each other.
“I-I get it”, Dominic said, letting his head hang a bit lower so that Jasper wouldn’t be able to see his miserable face.
It was true. How could Dominic be so clueless to think things would go fine? Maybe it was hope or desperation but he truly in his mind thought they would be able to reconnect. Maybe it was because Dominic was so eager to do that so he thought Jasper felt the same. But it was obvious he didn’t. And maybe he never would. And no wonder. Jasper had moved on. Still, a small glimmer of hope stayed alive inside that beaten up heart of his.
“I understand you don’t want anything to do with me. I mean it’s obvious I don’t mind you staying here...” Oh how desperately Dominic wanted that. “...but you do what you truly want.” He shrugged and looked at Jasper again, trying to keep his face neutral. A bit rude even.
Dominic could beg Jasper to stay and push him further away or accept the wants of his old friend yet still he would drift apart. He felt defeated. And in need of another cigarette.
Cealen
★彡
Dominic kinda looked like a kicked puppy right now with the miserable, pretending-everything-is-fine tone of his voice. Jasper couldn’t help but feel a twinge of guilt deep in his chest, despite him being the one to cause this pathetic display that Dominic was putting on at the moment. Jasper’s eyes shifted away from Dominic’s gaze returning to meet his, the guilt being too much to bear looking at Dominic in the eyes. But… why? Jasper didn’t get it whatsoever. He was the one who said these things, and he doesn’t doubt for a second that he meant it, yet it still hurts to see Dominic in a state like this.
His emotions must be playing a trick on him, Jasper reasoned. As much as he tried to distant himself from those horrid (horrid to the current Jasper, that is, young Jasper would rebuke that immediately) feelings he had for Dominic in the past, every now again they would crop up, like a determined weed. Jasper would pull the weed out over and over again, but it would always come back, but different every time in strength and intensity. Seeing Dominic actually in person again, alongside the expectation that he was supposed to live with him, made this weed come back in full force, as intense as it was when it first sprouted. Jasper hated it. He wanted to kill it badly, these lingering emotions.
Did he really though? Jasper couldn’t help but feel a doubt from head on in his mind. Was he really the one in the wrong here? Stopping things from being able to be “fixed” before they both even had the chance to try? Jasper felt stupid even thinking about it. He said it himself, didn’t he… nothing can be fixed about this. It would have been fixed a long time ago if it could, but Dominic never tried to help. Dominic is not being honest with himself, Jasper reasoned, he just is saying these things because he doesn’t know what else to say but doesn’t mean any of the garbage about figuring things out finally. Dominic is… an asshole, that’s what he has to convince himself of. It’s the only thing Jasper can think of to make his doubts go away. He just has to do the mature thing and acknowledge them for the strangers they might as well be at this point, instead of trying any chance of working things out with Dominic.
“…I think we’re done here, then. I’m… glad you understand.” Jasper said, adding on the last bit at the last minute and then instantly regretting what he said. What a stupid thing to say! Why would he say he’s happy that Dominic looks defeated! He was being the asshole in this situation! Jasper’s mini freak out at his precived slight carried over to him feeling the great need to amend his slight. “Ahem… sorry. I know… this is kind of hard, isn't it. But it’s for the best. I promise you that. We’ll both suffer less without one another in our lives.” To Jasper them being separated and never meeting again up until now was for a reason. There had to be a reason why Dominic never wanted to even try to apologize to him before. That reason being he simply didn’t want to. He was done with Jasper, and threw him away. It’s as simple as that.
Jasper shifted, feeling uncomfortable in his own skin. Being so close to Dominic again made him feel… itchy, in a way. He just… had to get away from this man and think everything through. “Ok… bye.” Jasper hastily said, turning around and heading into the empty room behind him, closing the door immediately behind him while not even giving a general glance over at Dominic whatsoever. He felt like a mouse scurrying away to a hiding hole in the process, hiding from the big scary cat that was Dominic. He wasn’t going to let him get to him. Right?
His emotions must be playing a trick on him, Jasper reasoned. As much as he tried to distant himself from those horrid (horrid to the current Jasper, that is, young Jasper would rebuke that immediately) feelings he had for Dominic in the past, every now again they would crop up, like a determined weed. Jasper would pull the weed out over and over again, but it would always come back, but different every time in strength and intensity. Seeing Dominic actually in person again, alongside the expectation that he was supposed to live with him, made this weed come back in full force, as intense as it was when it first sprouted. Jasper hated it. He wanted to kill it badly, these lingering emotions.
Did he really though? Jasper couldn’t help but feel a doubt from head on in his mind. Was he really the one in the wrong here? Stopping things from being able to be “fixed” before they both even had the chance to try? Jasper felt stupid even thinking about it. He said it himself, didn’t he… nothing can be fixed about this. It would have been fixed a long time ago if it could, but Dominic never tried to help. Dominic is not being honest with himself, Jasper reasoned, he just is saying these things because he doesn’t know what else to say but doesn’t mean any of the garbage about figuring things out finally. Dominic is… an asshole, that’s what he has to convince himself of. It’s the only thing Jasper can think of to make his doubts go away. He just has to do the mature thing and acknowledge them for the strangers they might as well be at this point, instead of trying any chance of working things out with Dominic.
“…I think we’re done here, then. I’m… glad you understand.” Jasper said, adding on the last bit at the last minute and then instantly regretting what he said. What a stupid thing to say! Why would he say he’s happy that Dominic looks defeated! He was being the asshole in this situation! Jasper’s mini freak out at his precived slight carried over to him feeling the great need to amend his slight. “Ahem… sorry. I know… this is kind of hard, isn't it. But it’s for the best. I promise you that. We’ll both suffer less without one another in our lives.” To Jasper them being separated and never meeting again up until now was for a reason. There had to be a reason why Dominic never wanted to even try to apologize to him before. That reason being he simply didn’t want to. He was done with Jasper, and threw him away. It’s as simple as that.
Jasper shifted, feeling uncomfortable in his own skin. Being so close to Dominic again made him feel… itchy, in a way. He just… had to get away from this man and think everything through. “Ok… bye.” Jasper hastily said, turning around and heading into the empty room behind him, closing the door immediately behind him while not even giving a general glance over at Dominic whatsoever. He felt like a mouse scurrying away to a hiding hole in the process, hiding from the big scary cat that was Dominic. He wasn’t going to let him get to him. Right?
aurorakoo
New Member
DOMINIC
Dominic was left in the dust as Jasper made his point clear and escaped to the safety of his own room. For a while Dominic stood there just staring at the door. He sighted and collapsed to the armchair he was sitting in before the scene that had just happened. Sometimes he had thought what would happen if they ever met again. How Dominic would explain everything and they would fall into each other’s arms. How they would fix the, oh so tight, pond they once had. It was a lot less theatrical than that - obviously. Dominic didn’t know what to say or what to do. And Jasper was over all of it. Now just as Dominic had the chance it was escaping from his hands. He couldn’t grasp his true feelings from everything his mind was going through. Still, one that was more prominent and stronger than all the others. Disappointment.
How did he get into this situation?
[time skip to a few days later]
Dominic fumbled with the keys in his one hand. With his other one he tried to balance all the stuff he had just bought as he tried to open the door to his apartment. The few days after moving in had been more stress inducing than ever and he had smoked a lot more cigarettes than usual. It was not easy to live with someone who - quite likely - hated him more than anything and being reminded everyday of the juvenile mistakes he had once made. So finally he had decided to get out of that personal hell of his and taken a quick trip to the bookstore. He had bought some supplies for the upcoming school journey and treated himself with a new book.
He had always despised self help books. Some fake guru trying to give the secrets to happiness? Yeah right. Still, they would be the ones being best sellers and treated like a gospel by some people. But now he had one on his hands. Something about finding peace in the middle of a crisis with some new age spirituality thrown into the mix. This was how low he had gotten.
As he squeezed himself through the door he slipped his shoes off. He headed straight to the common living spaces their shared apartment had. Dominic threw the stuff to the coffee table. He never was an organized person or a minimalist. His room was already full of things that had some more and some less sentiment to him. He wasn’t one to throw stuff out and lived in his own chaos. But he liked it that way.
Dominic left his purchases there and got to the coffee machine in need of refreshing in sweet form of caffeine. On the way he couldn’t help but glance at Jasper's door.
Dominic was left in the dust as Jasper made his point clear and escaped to the safety of his own room. For a while Dominic stood there just staring at the door. He sighted and collapsed to the armchair he was sitting in before the scene that had just happened. Sometimes he had thought what would happen if they ever met again. How Dominic would explain everything and they would fall into each other’s arms. How they would fix the, oh so tight, pond they once had. It was a lot less theatrical than that - obviously. Dominic didn’t know what to say or what to do. And Jasper was over all of it. Now just as Dominic had the chance it was escaping from his hands. He couldn’t grasp his true feelings from everything his mind was going through. Still, one that was more prominent and stronger than all the others. Disappointment.
How did he get into this situation?
[time skip to a few days later]
Dominic fumbled with the keys in his one hand. With his other one he tried to balance all the stuff he had just bought as he tried to open the door to his apartment. The few days after moving in had been more stress inducing than ever and he had smoked a lot more cigarettes than usual. It was not easy to live with someone who - quite likely - hated him more than anything and being reminded everyday of the juvenile mistakes he had once made. So finally he had decided to get out of that personal hell of his and taken a quick trip to the bookstore. He had bought some supplies for the upcoming school journey and treated himself with a new book.
He had always despised self help books. Some fake guru trying to give the secrets to happiness? Yeah right. Still, they would be the ones being best sellers and treated like a gospel by some people. But now he had one on his hands. Something about finding peace in the middle of a crisis with some new age spirituality thrown into the mix. This was how low he had gotten.
As he squeezed himself through the door he slipped his shoes off. He headed straight to the common living spaces their shared apartment had. Dominic threw the stuff to the coffee table. He never was an organized person or a minimalist. His room was already full of things that had some more and some less sentiment to him. He wasn’t one to throw stuff out and lived in his own chaos. But he liked it that way.
Dominic left his purchases there and got to the coffee machine in need of refreshing in sweet form of caffeine. On the way he couldn’t help but glance at Jasper's door.
Cealen
★彡
Jasper was convinced there was some higher power playing a cruel trick on him. Or maybe all of them at once. Exhaling hard through his nose, he stared at the words on his computer screen again, hoping to figure out some hidden meaning within them that would give him the answer he wanted. Only he was met with betrayal by the email he was repeatedly reading over, apologizing about how there is “no availability” currently for him to be able to move into a different apartment. Despite his numerous emails slightly exaggerating his problems with being roommates with Dominic, no one seemed to want to listen to him to allow him to be able to obtain someone, anyone else. Maybe he needs to pretend Dominic is plotting to kill him or something.
Living with Dominic wasn’t even remotely interesting or fun. He constantly reeked of cigarettes- Jasper threatened to ruin his cigarettes if he kept on smoking in the apartment, so at least he doesn’t do that anymore- and Jasper tried his best to avoid the man like he was the plague. He would spend most of his time holed up in his room for that reason, only speaking to Dominic if he had to communicate something to him and nothing else. Trying to work out his feelings about this… situation has not been successful whatsoever either.
It was supposed to be easy enough to just move away and forget that he ever saw Dominic again and went back on with his life. Yet, here he was, acting like a coward who hides away from confrontations and actually dealing with the problem at hand, just endlessly worrying about what he’s going to do now. Jasper truly felt like a pathetic person with Dominic being here again, letting this asshole just cause him so much mental anguish that he didn’t even want to step out of his room whenever he was here.
Jasper… wasn't going to submit and accept defeat though. He was better now. He kept on convincing himself of that. When he told Courtney about the situation, she freaked out, asking if he would be ok. Of course he would be! He can deal with this himself now. It… won’t be like last time. He can’t allow it to be like last time. Jasper felt like he was running an uphill battle with himself with this, but he wasn’t going to let up anytime soon. The only way to make it easier on himself was to pretend that Dominic wasn’t having such an effect on him. As long as he avoided him and didn’t allow Dominic to catch on, he would survive this and get out of this hell intact.
Hearing the door to the apartment open made the dread set in once again though. He… is going to have to say he can’t move out, isn't he… Jasper shut off his computer quickly on impulse and stared at his expression on the black screen of the computer screen. Ugh, he looks tired. He’s letting this get to him way too much, if being nervous to tell Dominic this was any indication. How pathetic was he? He has to prove that he can do this and he’s better than how he was years ago! With a newfound determination, Jasper rose quickly from his seat, chair squeaking loudly against the floor as he did so. Oh… that’s rude. Quickly pushing it back into its place, redeeming his transgression, he then went and opened the door to his room, only to see the man himself right in front of his gaze, around the kitchen area.
Ok… how to approach this… Jasper thought of the scenarios in his head, running calculations of what he should say and how Dominic most likely would respond to them. Socializing was always like this, you had to be prepared for anything the other party may say or face the consequences. Dominic is probably going to get taken off guard by him just speaking to him for once actually… so he should just make what he wants to say clear right away and skip anything or he’ll think something is wrong… so much to consider.
“Ahem…” Jasper said at first, in order to get Dominic’s attention. “So… moving out isn’t happening any time soon. They keep on saying there’s no availability for me to be moved elsewhere.” Jasper may have said that last part with a tone of spite. “I still think it’s better for me to move away than try to live like this, so I’ll continue trying to, but… it won’t be as soon as I said it would be before.” He really wanted to say “it won’t be as soon as we hoped it would be”, but he just knew Dominic was hoping that he wouldn’t move out. He doesn’t really get it, doesn't he have all those better people to hang out with than him? “Sorry. I’ll continue just… keeping out of your way and not bothering you.” Making it sound like him avoiding him should be something he should be grateful for.
Living with Dominic wasn’t even remotely interesting or fun. He constantly reeked of cigarettes- Jasper threatened to ruin his cigarettes if he kept on smoking in the apartment, so at least he doesn’t do that anymore- and Jasper tried his best to avoid the man like he was the plague. He would spend most of his time holed up in his room for that reason, only speaking to Dominic if he had to communicate something to him and nothing else. Trying to work out his feelings about this… situation has not been successful whatsoever either.
It was supposed to be easy enough to just move away and forget that he ever saw Dominic again and went back on with his life. Yet, here he was, acting like a coward who hides away from confrontations and actually dealing with the problem at hand, just endlessly worrying about what he’s going to do now. Jasper truly felt like a pathetic person with Dominic being here again, letting this asshole just cause him so much mental anguish that he didn’t even want to step out of his room whenever he was here.
Jasper… wasn't going to submit and accept defeat though. He was better now. He kept on convincing himself of that. When he told Courtney about the situation, she freaked out, asking if he would be ok. Of course he would be! He can deal with this himself now. It… won’t be like last time. He can’t allow it to be like last time. Jasper felt like he was running an uphill battle with himself with this, but he wasn’t going to let up anytime soon. The only way to make it easier on himself was to pretend that Dominic wasn’t having such an effect on him. As long as he avoided him and didn’t allow Dominic to catch on, he would survive this and get out of this hell intact.
Hearing the door to the apartment open made the dread set in once again though. He… is going to have to say he can’t move out, isn't he… Jasper shut off his computer quickly on impulse and stared at his expression on the black screen of the computer screen. Ugh, he looks tired. He’s letting this get to him way too much, if being nervous to tell Dominic this was any indication. How pathetic was he? He has to prove that he can do this and he’s better than how he was years ago! With a newfound determination, Jasper rose quickly from his seat, chair squeaking loudly against the floor as he did so. Oh… that’s rude. Quickly pushing it back into its place, redeeming his transgression, he then went and opened the door to his room, only to see the man himself right in front of his gaze, around the kitchen area.
Ok… how to approach this… Jasper thought of the scenarios in his head, running calculations of what he should say and how Dominic most likely would respond to them. Socializing was always like this, you had to be prepared for anything the other party may say or face the consequences. Dominic is probably going to get taken off guard by him just speaking to him for once actually… so he should just make what he wants to say clear right away and skip anything or he’ll think something is wrong… so much to consider.
“Ahem…” Jasper said at first, in order to get Dominic’s attention. “So… moving out isn’t happening any time soon. They keep on saying there’s no availability for me to be moved elsewhere.” Jasper may have said that last part with a tone of spite. “I still think it’s better for me to move away than try to live like this, so I’ll continue trying to, but… it won’t be as soon as I said it would be before.” He really wanted to say “it won’t be as soon as we hoped it would be”, but he just knew Dominic was hoping that he wouldn’t move out. He doesn’t really get it, doesn't he have all those better people to hang out with than him? “Sorry. I’ll continue just… keeping out of your way and not bothering you.” Making it sound like him avoiding him should be something he should be grateful for.
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