Opinion Being 20 something and living with parents? Also married with kids and RPing?

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So this is a bit more of a personal discussion which is why I put it here. But I was wondering, are there any people in their 20s whether early or late that still live with their parents? Is it embarassing for you guys? Or are you comfortable with it. Or if you’re in your 20s and already moved out, what was it like. I’m 19 turning 20 this year, and I just can’t help but ponder this. Also that and I wonder if you guys have met anyone that’s either married, in a relationship, or has kids and still RPs. Is this odd for you to RP with them? Or are you okay with that? Personally I think that wow kudos to them, for RPing with all that in their lives. But also, it can be rather odd. As sometimes, as a single person I feel like it’s hard to relate to these people. And of course, some people on the younger side, may think it’s “bad” parenting to even RP, or be on social media as a parent. Though we see it all the time with those “Fandom” Moms and such. Or like older women who enjoy Fandom, so it’s not uncommon. But I am definitely curious on your opinion for it. I mean as long as adults can be responsible when talking to minors or participating in fandoms online, I see no problem with it? Though it can vary I suppose. Any thoughts?
 
I personally still occasionally spend a weekend or so at home with my parents depending on the situation. I do have my own apartment and my guinea pigs aren't allowed at my parents' place, so I have to plan to drive back to my apartment each day I'm away to care for them or pay a pet sitter to do that for me.

Honestly, though, I'm 24 and I graduated from college back in May this year. My parents don't force any of my siblings or I out of their house until after we have graduated from college. We're expected to live on-campus our first two years and then maybe find some off-campus option if we'd like to. Once we get to college, we're expected to start learning how to live on our own or with roommates. But it's different for everyone and not every life situation will be the exact same. My parents heavily supported me financially throughout college, same for my brother, but I got extra benefits because I got a full-ride scholarship through the military and so we saved bank not having to worry about student loans or anything like that.

Honestly, it has been very stressful for me moving out and finally embracing paying my own rent and bills. I got a degree in psychology, which is sadly pretty useless for most jobs until you get further education. And I of course can't afford my additional education yet. Figuring out a good job that can cover your bills plus some is honestly the most challenging part of moving out and the whole ordeal is just going to be stressful until you can earn more than you need.

But I do know a dad and son who RP together in one group I'm in and it doesn't seem to be weird at all for them. I suppose it just depends on the individuals involved whether or not it may be weird. Unless age is brought up OOC, I rarely ever think about it and it really only tends to get weird once someone has brought it up. Otherwise, the group will usually continue to blissfully RP without a care in the world. I know the RPs I'm in usually have some kinda mature warning to a degree, so if someone really young does join then it's on them if they are exposed to stuff that might be inappropriate for them, especially if they don't disclose their age to the GM at least.
 
I fully intend on living with my parents/family until I’m financially stable enough for my own home and/or get married. It’s largely a North American/Western thing to “move out as soon as you’re a legal adult.” Through most of history, and in many parts of the world today, people live with their parents/extended family until they get married. And even then, living communally is not uncommon.

I have a really wonderful relationship with my whole family and it makes no sense financially to live on my own “just because” as opposed to living with them. Granted, my university is in a different city so for 8 months of the year I rent a place with my brother... I’d much rather be at home and save the money that goes towards rent lol (and even if parents charge rent it tends to be WAY less than going rental rates)

I don’t find it embarrassing whatsoever. I actually think it’s more weird that people with happy/healthy family relationships are so eager to move out into a rental situation when they could be saving their money, but that might just be me 😂

As to the other part... I am currently roleplaying with a few people who are married with kids or in relationships. That doesn’t factor in for me at all nor should it. The only way it’s weird is if you can’t separate RP from real life and/or you only write self-inserts. Neither option is a very healthy way to look at roleplaying. We don’t judge authors who are married with kids for writing romances or writing in general, no reason to find it strange as an RP.

This is a hobby so I don’t find it any more strange than people who game or go fishing or knit or watch TV in their spare time. Anyone who’s judgmental about people writing in their downtime if they have a family needs to chill out. Life and fun doesn’t end just because you’re married with kids. Priorities may shift but that doesn’t mean you can’t have hobbies anymore and being judgmental over writing online with other people seems like a really weird and old-school line of thinking haha.
 
I will throw in my two cents:

I am personally in my very late 20's. I got married nearly 2 years go.
I've been RPing since I was 18, so I've been through all the stages (less kids).
I moved out and went to college at 18, and moved back in with my parents at least twice

over my 20's. Was it embarrassing for me? No, not at all. Was it inconvenient? Absolutely.

My first year out on my own was in college residence, and from there I moved into an
apartment with my friends, then my boyfriend, and so on. But coming back to my
parents was never easy or enjoyable. It felt like a last resort, and most times it was.
But, imo, that's part of learning and life. Things happen, and I'm thankful they were able to

accommodate and support me.

I have been RPing with the same group for the last decade, and together we
have watched relationships come and go, some of us get married, others
move across the country and even have kids. I have never found it to be
anything outside of the norm. You just learn to accommodate.
In times when I was RPing outside of this group, I never had
issues with minors or family getting in the way of my partner's ability
to write.

I first started RPing in college, and maybe of all the times, that was the
most embarrassing for me. I didn't want to seem 'nerdy'. I kept it a
secret from my roommates, and my boyfriend, for a long time.
Eventually I told my partner, and moving into my 20's I coined the term
'writing group' as apposed to 'Roleplaying'. At the end of the day
everyone was supportive of my hobby and that I was having fun. In the times
where it would overtake my time and mental health, people stepped in
to tell me to take a break.
I will say now that as I have become older, I have found I am not as
'weird' as I may have once thought in younger years. Experience
and time has broadened my eyes to the opportunities and types
of roleplay. At the end of the day, if it is something you enjoy and it's healthy, then
do it, and don't let any other stigmas or figures stand in your way.
Live your life.

 
I fully intend on living with my parents/family until I’m financially stable enough for my own home and/or get married. It’s largely a North American/Western thing to “move out as soon as you’re a legal adult.” Through most of history, and in many parts of the world today, people live with their parents/extended family until they get married. And even then, living communally is not uncommon.

I have a really wonderful relationship with my whole family and it makes no sense financially to live on my own “just because” as opposed to living with them. Granted, my university is in a different city so for 8 months of the year I rent a place with my brother... I’d much rather be at home and save the money that goes towards rent lol (and even if parents charge rent it tends to be WAY less than going rental rates)

I don’t find it embarrassing whatsoever. I actually think it’s more weird that people with happy/healthy family relationships are so eager to move out into a rental situation when they could be saving their money, but that might just be me 😂

As to the other part... I am currently roleplaying with a few people who are married with kids or in relationships. That doesn’t factor in for me at all nor should it. The only way it’s weird is if you can’t separate RP from real life and/or you only write self-inserts. Neither option is a very healthy way to look at roleplaying. We don’t judge authors who are married with kids for writing romances or writing in general, no reason to find it strange as an RP.

This is a hobby so I don’t find it any more strange than people who game or go fishing or knit or watch TV in their spare time. Anyone who’s judgmental about people writing in their downtime if they have a family needs to chill out. Life and fun doesn’t end just because you’re married with kids. Priorities may shift but that doesn’t mean you can’t have hobbies anymore and being judgmental over writing online with other people seems like a really weird and old-school line of thinking haha.
I wish my parents supported the notion of staying with them until I could financially support myself...they have the idea that since they struggled when they first moved out at a young age, then we all have to go through the same thing and learn from it. Like, the idea of "we had to deal with this when we were younger, so you do, too". I've literally gotten migraines from how stressed it makes me and we've spent thousands of dollars on trying to figure out the root cause while I now have to pay extra money monthly for supplements and the occasional urgent care visit when I get a real bad migraine. It absolutely is the dumbest idea to me, especially when I know my parents could easily afford to house me, that they still push me out the door to figure things out on my own. Like, I have a very good understanding of what it's like to live on my own already and they helped cover my rent this year while I got settled into a job, but I'm still barely making enough to pay my bills and afford anything fun on top of it. It's so mentally draining to know I'm only earning enough to cover my bills each month.

My older brother has the benefit of his wife also working a very well-paying full-time job, so they have dual income together and it's easier for them to afford more. But there's no significant other in my life and my single income is very meager. I make so little in the National Guard in addition to the part-time job I have right now. It pays enough for me to work 30 hours a week and actually earn more than most full-time jobs would pay out at $15 an hour, but it's still cutting it short each month.

Now it does help that my parents are very slowly weaning me off of everything. Like, starting next month, I just have to start covering my rent. My parents are still helping me cover my car maintenance, phone bill, most medical situations for now, and my health insurance. Sadly, I'm fully aware that I will need to get my own dental insurance and eye insurance because I have terrible genetics (thanks, family!).
 
I wish my parents supported the notion of staying with them until I could financially support myself...they have the idea that since they struggled when they first moved out at a young age, then we all have to go through the same thing and learn from it. Like, the idea of "we had to deal with this when we were younger, so you do, too". I've literally gotten migraines from how stressed it makes me and we've spent thousands of dollars on trying to figure out the root cause while I now have to pay extra money monthly for supplements and the occasional urgent care visit when I get a real bad migraine. It absolutely is the dumbest idea to me, especially when I know my parents could easily afford to house me, that they still push me out the door to figure things out on my own. Like, I have a very good understanding of what it's like to live on my own already and they helped cover my rent this year while I got settled into a job, but I'm still barely making enough to pay my bills and afford anything fun on top of it. It's so mentally draining to know I'm only earning enough to cover my bills each month.

My older brother has the benefit of his wife also working a very well-paying full-time job, so they have dual income together and it's easier for them to afford more. But there's no significant other in my life and my single income is very meager. I make so little in the National Guard in addition to the part-time job I have right now. It pays enough for me to work 30 hours a week and actually earn more than most full-time jobs would pay out at $15 an hour, but it's still cutting it short each month.

Now it does help that my parents are very slowly weaning me off of everything. Like, starting next month, I just have to start covering my rent. My parents are still helping me cover my car maintenance, phone bill, most medical situations for now, and my health insurance. Sadly, I'm fully aware that I will need to get my own dental insurance and eye insurance because I have terrible genetics (thanks, family!).
Yeah, it's an odd notion for sure considering it has no real, rational, historical basis. I'm definitely fortunate to have a family that would happily keep me forever. Sorry to hear it's been so rough on you, it's definitely a huge struggle and not a ton of fun. I survive off of scholarships and student loans largely (my parents don't earn enough to support me financially while I'm away from home) and budgeting is definitely a headache. I've switched degrees to a program that is much more likely to get me a financially viable career, but in switching I am "wasting" roughly a year of tuition so that was a big challenge when it came to deciding what to do.

I'm glad, at least, that your parents didn't just boot you out and say "good luck." Good of them to still be supportive even when you're out of the house, that's better than some of the stories I've heard at least. Hopefully things improve for you and it gets easier <3
 
So this is a bit more of a personal discussion which is why I put it here. But I was wondering, are there any people in their 20s whether early or late that still live with their parents? Is it embarassing for you guys? Or are you comfortable with it. Or if you’re in your 20s and already moved out, what was it like. I’m 19 turning 20 this year, and I just can’t help but ponder this. Also that and I wonder if you guys have met anyone that’s either married, in a relationship, or has kids and still RPs. Is this odd for you to RP with them? Or are you okay with that? Personally I think that wow kudos to them, for RPing with all that in their lives. But also, it can be rather odd. As sometimes, as a single person I feel like it’s hard to relate to these people. And of course, some people on the younger side, may think it’s “bad” parenting to even RP, or be on social media as a parent. Though we see it all the time with those “Fandom” Moms and such. Or like older women who enjoy Fandom, so it’s not uncommon. But I am definitely curious on your opinion for it. I mean as long as adults can be responsible when talking to minors or participating in fandoms online, I see no problem with it? Though it can vary I suppose. Any thoughts?
In my early twenties I lived with my parents and not at all was it embarrassing. It helped me work and save up without having to worry about rent or bills until I did decide to move out. During that time l, I met a lot of people who had children or were in relationships and roleplayed. It didn't bother me in the least nor did I ever consider it weird because that had nothing to do with us writing together besides it rarely came up save for brief out of character chatter. Other than that, it was whatever.

Everyone comes from all walks of life. I don't think anything about their personal lives should have anything to do with them roleplaying, people do what they want to do right. I also think the responsibility works on both the adults and the minors too.
 
Yeah, it's an odd notion for sure considering it has no real, rational, historical basis. I'm definitely fortunate to have a family that would happily keep me forever. Sorry to hear it's been so rough on you, it's definitely a huge struggle and not a ton of fun. I survive off of scholarships and student loans largely (my parents don't earn enough to support me financially while I'm away from home) and budgeting is definitely a headache. I've switched degrees to a program that is much more likely to get me a financially viable career, but in switching I am "wasting" roughly a year of tuition so that was a big challenge when it came to deciding what to do.

I'm glad, at least, that your parents didn't just boot you out and say "good luck." Good of them to still be supportive even when you're out of the house, that's better than some of the stories I've heard at least. Hopefully things improve for you and it gets easier <3
Yeah, it's why I try not to complain too much about my situation since they've still been very supportive despite pushing for us to get out of the house. I think they worry if they "coddle" us by letting us stay any longer than college years that we'll be unprepared for real life when we do actually earn enough to move out. Idk, I have a very strong and realistic understanding of what it's like and did so even before I actually moved into an apartment. But I guess they just worry too much and would never have believed me. I always saved 20% of my military income when I wasn't renting a place yet, so I wasn't just burning through all of my earnings, but I did spend a lot on fun and frivolous things while I was aware that I didn't need to worry about bills yet. I think they misunderstood that and just never believed me insisting I had a good understanding of it because the numbers supposedly proved me wrong. >.>
 
As Ash said,
It’s largely a North American/Western thing to “move out as soon as you’re a legal adult
Most of us are students until the age of 23 (25 in my case) and can barely afford to pay for school, let alone moving out permanently. Moving out implies getting a job, which in my case would be impossible since I mostly don’t have time even for studying, let alone a personal life and a part-time job.

It’s very uncommon for people under 25 who aren’t married to move out. I honestly don’t get the NA mentality, especially since parents end up compaining that they rarely see their children. You’re urging them to move out once they’re BARELY out of the teenage stage. Forcing them to get a shittily paid job, instead of focusing on getting their degree and a excelling in what they do. Especially when the family able to provide that financial support. And a social life ontop of that? Just because the parents struggled, doesn’t mean the kids have to, as well.
 
As Ash said, Most of us are students until the age of 23 (25 in my case) and can barely afford to pay for school, let alone moving out permanently. Moving out implies getting a job, which in my case would be impossible since I mostly don’t have time even for studying, let alone a personal life and a part-time job.

It’s very uncommon for people under 25 who aren’t married to move out. I honestly don’t get the NA mentality, especially since parents end up compaining that they rarely see their children. You’re urging them to move out once they’re BARELY out of the teenage stage. Forcing them to get a shittily paid job, instead of focusing on getting their degree and a excelling in what they do. Especially when the family able to provide that financial support. And a social life ontop of that? Just because the parents struggled, doesn’t mean the kids have to, as well.
Exactly. I hate the mentality of "if I struggled, then you should as well so you can learn from it". Like, just tell me what you learned from your struggles and let's move on to where I get a better life from that knowledge you obtained in your youth. There is absolutely nothing keeping my parents from being able to support me living in their home. I would be able to do so much more with my money if I didn't have to put nearly 95% of it towards bills (as I will have to in the near future). My mom pushes me to find a way to set some aside for savings and stocks, but that's impossible for me to do once I have to manage my bills all on my own. It's a contradiction for them to want me to be able to save money and invest, but then are also forcing me to embrace more bills than I can realistically handle yet (slowly, but surely).
 
This is actually a weird question for me to answer because, firstly, I think it is very healthy to just stay with your parents until you are financially stable. It is certainly less expensive than living in a dorm or renting an apartment (Jesus take the wheel, because I need to look at next semester's bill soon xD). But, I came from a household that was draining on my mental health so it was beneficial in that way for me to move out. Have a shitty part time job and tons of studies as well? Also kind of shitty for my mental health, but I can't commute from my house to my college so what can ya do?

But I definitely do not think it is weird to live with parents through your twenties, the only time I think it is weird is if you are like, actually just there playing videogames and nothing else or something. But being a kid trying to make it through life? It's rough man, take all the help you can get. College is fucking expensive so try to find anything you can to help.

As to the second question, I sure have RPed with many married people! And mothers in their 30s! I love them :) they are usually pretty kind and just as fangirly as I am about whatever we are doing and also super considerate so they are actually my favorite demographic to roleplay with haha. One of them, I met them on another site, talks with me about tattoos I might want to get and helped me pick out what type of piercing I wanted when I got my nose pierced. It definitely is not bad parenting nor is it weird.
 
This is actually a weird question for me to answer because, firstly, I think it is very healthy to just stay with your parents until you are financially stable. It is certainly less expensive than living in a dorm or renting an apartment (Jesus take the wheel, because I need to look at next semester's bill soon xD). But, I came from a household that was draining on my mental health so it was beneficial in that way for me to move out. Have a shitty part time job and tons of studies as well? Also kind of shitty for my mental health, but I can't commute from my house to my college so what can ya do?

But I definitely do not think it is weird to live with parents through your twenties, the only time I think it is weird is if you are like, actually just there playing videogames and nothing else or something. But being a kid trying to make it through life? It's rough man, take all the help you can get. College is fucking expensive so try to find anything you can to help.

As to the second question, I sure have RPed with many married people! And mothers in their 30s! I love them :) they are usually pretty kind and just as fangirly as I am about whatever we are doing and also super considerate so they are actually my favorite demographic to roleplay with haha. One of them, I met them on another site, talks with me about tattoos I might want to get and helped me pick out what type of piercing I wanted when I got my nose pierced. It definitely is not bad parenting nor is it weird.
Aww that's sweet, I have also had similar experiences meeting women in their 30s online with kids. And I can agree they are usually very sweet and kind. But just some kids, like early teens 13-16 expressed they find it weird that people above a certain age or have kids still do things like RP and etc. And I agree lazing around and just gaming isn't particularly productive. It would be better if they had a job instead of mooching off their parents, like that.
 
Aww that's sweet, I have also had similar experiences meeting women in their 30s online with kids. And I can agree they are usually very sweet and kind. But just some kids, like early teens 13-16 expressed they find it weird that people above a certain age or have kids still do things like RP and etc. And I agree lazing around and just gaming isn't particularly productive. It would be better if they had a job instead of mooching off their parents, like that.
Yeah I could see younger kids finding it a little weird, I kind of did when I was younger, but I guess being older and being more exposed to become friends with older people IRL, I have come to see it as less weird, but it is very understandable a kid would find it weird, and probably not want to be partnered up with older people as well.
 
I lived at home until I was 24. It wasn't a healthy situation and in retrospect I wish I had moved out earlier, but I didn't find it embarrassing. Lots of my friends also lived at home through university, so, eh. Also it's much harder now to be able to afford your own place, that it was then, so a LOT of people have to live at home with parents because there's just no choice. Be embarrassed for your society making it this way rather than yourself.

I am in a long-term relationship and still RP. Most of my RP partners are as well. I'm not sure how it really makes a difference whether you are in a relationship or not? If your husband/wife/SO is like "you're not allowed to RP any more" then get the hell out of there, seriously. I've also RPed many times with my SO, and it's super fun.

I don't have children and don't intend to, but people do and still manage to RP. I mean, good on them for being able to manage their time. No one wants to give up all their hobbies just because they are a mum/dad and RP is easier to fit around family life than a lot of things, like test match cricket or amateur dramatics.

The thing is, young people often think that as soon as you hit thirty you should be preparing for your own funeral, and give up anything remotely construable as fun: anime, fandoms, RPing, games, but when you actually reach 30 believe it or not you are still the same person and you still like the same things. It's the arrogance of youth speaking, that's all.
 
Aww that's sweet, I have also had similar experiences meeting women in their 30s online with kids. And I can agree they are usually very sweet and kind. But just some kids, like early teens 13-16 expressed they find it weird that people above a certain age or have kids still do things like RP and etc. And I agree lazing around and just gaming isn't particularly productive. It would be better if they had a job instead of mooching off their parents, like that.
I'm pretty sure young teenagers (and even some older teenagers lol) are too busy in the high-school bubble to realize that they're going to be older one day too. I'm not surprised they'd find it weird. The only adults most teens have relationships with are ones in authority positions (parents & teachers, primarily) that are not seen as equals/peers and therefore having interests in common with them feels "weird" because they appear far removed from youth and fun xD When they end up writing with someone in their 20s or 30s it likely seems bizarre precisely because in that scenario they are peers and not authority figures which is a huge change from the worldview they're used to. It's just a lack of knowledge/self-awareness on their part that will certainly change once THEY are in their 20s haha.
 
I'm pretty sure young teenagers (and even some older teenagers lol) are too busy in the high-school bubble to realize that they're going to be older one day too. I'm not surprised they'd find it weird. The only adults most teens have relationships with are ones in authority positions (parents & teachers, primarily) that are not seen as equals/peers and therefore having interests in common with them feels "weird" because they appear far removed from youth and fun xD When they end up writing with someone in their 20s or 30s it likely seems bizarre precisely because in that scenario they are peers and not authority figures which is a huge change from the worldview they're used to. It's just a lack of knowledge/self-awareness on their part that will certainly change once THEY are in their 20s haha.

That's also why it's nice to have a mix of friends of different ages. For some reason I always end up being the oldest or youngest in a group, so I have friends across the board. In a way it's super weird that people are kept in very segregated age categories throughout the whole of their school life, because after you leave the education system you realise that people are people and it's fun to mix with people who have different experience and backgrounds.
 
That's also why it's nice to have a mix of friends of different ages. For some reason I always end up being the oldest or youngest in a group, so I have friends across the board. In a way it's super weird that people are kept in very segregated age categories throughout the whole of their school life, because after you leave the education system you realise that people are people and it's fun to mix with people who have different experience and backgrounds.
Totally agree!!! It's why I don't have age limits in place for my RP search threads unless I believe the subject matter is going to contain things that I wouldn't be comfortable writing with a minor. When I was in middle school/high school and started RPing I was routinely writing with people in their 20s and 30s and it was always a blast. It would be hypocritical of me to now turn around and have a problem with younger writers considering how much I valued the expertise and friendship of people older than me when I was younger.
 
I don't see anything wrong with still living with my parents, even though I'm about to turn 21. I mean, highschool ends a t 18 here, and a college course takes at least 3 years, but since I want to take a masters degree as well that would be at least 5. Effectively not having a job until I'm 23 (other than potentially part time if I manage to get one) is a likely prospect, even if I didn't already fail some classes and thus need an extra year due to precedents. I think it's reasonable to still live with my parents at my age, but of course the prospect of moving out should already be in my eye (and believe me, it has been for a long time), though personal responbility demands that I not rush it. I don't think my parents will mind if I rely on them until I can get a foothold in the world of adults, provided I don't stop striving for it, and the last thing I want is to have to add to the difficulties of college having to manage thing I'm not ready for, or incurring in a debt that could have been avoided with a bit more care.
 
So I’m in my thirties and I feel like most of the people I know in my socioeconomic bracket do live with their parents.

In the US specifically it’s very difficult to afford to move out right now if you aren’t in a two income household.

So the only people I know who have moved out are married couples. And even then one was in the military before she got married and the other essentially lives off grid in a mini bus.

I feel like the idea that you have to leave immediately when you are 18 is only feasible if your middle class or higher OR your parents are of an older generation who simply don’t understand how the economy works now a days.

Im basically the working poor. I literally live paycheck to paycheck and would need to get a second job just to pay rent on any of the apartments in the surrounding area never mind get a house.

That said my mom owns the house I live in and had made it clear I can live here for the rest of my life. Which is pretty much what’s going to happen. Or at least until she passes away and I need to downsize.

Edit : In addition to socioeconomic issues this might be a cultural/regional thing. I’m Hispanic and that side of the family is super into their kids staying at home as long as necessary. My stepmom would laugh in your face if you told her to kick her kids out at 18. And my mom and I live in a very rural town where most families spend entire generations living five minutes apart. So in that case it’s not a huge difference between your kid living next door and staying at your home.

So yeah if anything where I grew up it was weirder for people to just throw their kids to the wolves than it was for a kid to stay with their parents more or less for life (or until marriage at least)
 
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