Experiences Barely do any RPing on this site

[AlexneushoornTheGreat]

You know what annoys the piss out of me on this site? It's a roleplaying site, yet I don't do a lot of roleplaying here. I've ranted about this before, but I'll rant about it again because it's really a continuous problem. Sometimes while planning an RP or after an RP has just started, I end up getting ghosted by people, and other times people have quit RPs we were doing because they weren't satisfied with things like my post length, or stuff I gave them to work with, and so on. I joined this site for roleplaying, and I end up not doing a lot of roleplaying on it and mainly just hosting my Random question of the day topic, which I enjoy doing, but it's annoying that I'm on a roleplaying site and end up not doing a lot of roleplaying on it. It's like joining a book club and ending up not reading any books.

 

[Daisie]

For a decent period of time I did (and still do, to some extent) the same thing. I think it was from anywhere between 2018 and 2020-ish that my actual RP activity took a dive, and oddly enough, I never thought twice about it. RpN was no longer a roleplay forum for me, but simply a community I enjoyed spending time in.

Nowadays I obviously help maintain the community where I can, and I also participate in the occasional discussion, but in terms of actual writing, I don't really do a lot... Not as much as when I first joined, by any means. I have a total of one RP onsite, and even that one is pretty casual and slow-going.

You're not alone in being a lurker who never actually RPs haha. But I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, either. We all get something out of staying here, and that something isn't always roleplaying, funnily enough. If you feel like that's what you want to be getting here, I'm terribly sorry about all the ghosting. It's frustrating when you really have your heart set on a hobby and it continues to be unfulfilled. That's never fun, and roleplays falling through is unfortunately super common. I really hope things look up for you.

But if you're instead feeling bad out of an obligation to RP because of the nature of the site, I adivse you not to stress over it. As long as we fulfill a purpose for you - even if that purpose happens to be different than what we center ourselves around - then we're glad you're staying.

Again, I mostly stick around for the community, anyway.

 

[AlexneushoornTheGreat]

Well, I enjoy roleplaying, and I have been roleplaying since about 2012. I consider 2014-2018 to be my Golden Age of RP, and since then, my roleplaying activity has started to decline, which really makes me sad, as roleplaying is one of the few hobbies that I have and genuinely enjoy. Back in the day, I would RP all the time, and I enjoyed watching myself grow as a roleplayer and watch my writing improve, but my old roleplaying partners have moved on to greener pastures such as college, work and other mundane crap, and it's become very hard to find roleplaying partners that actually want to stick around and do lore building and RP with me.

People have advised me to start lore building through story writing, but I don't really find enjoyment in lore building through story writing aka writing lore by myself. I've always been better at writing lore with other people and have never considered writing lore alone my best skill. I do currently have one RP partner who I enjoy writing lore with, but who knows when that RP partner is going to move on to greener pastures like the other ones before them? It just seems like I'm doomed to have all of my roleplays fall through and forced to write lore by myself, which I hate doing.

I do enjoy being a part of this community though, and like I said, I enjoy hosting my Random question of the day topic here, asking questions and reading the answers I get out of it. I just wish I could do more roleplaying here because roleplaying is the main reason I came to this site in the first place.

 

[peritwinkle]

people have quit RPs we were doing because they weren't satisfied with things like my post length

Do you have any actually thorough search treads up? If people are unsafisfied with your post length (for example) it could mean:

1. Either you did not specify your usual post length in your search thread or when you messaged a potential partner
2. You did specify it but did not actually stick to it.

Communication is important. In order to increase your chances of finding a partner that sticks around you have to state what you want very clearly and sincerely, or search for someone who meets your own criteria.

This doesn’t just apply to post length. If you’re someone who enjoys thorough planning and worldbuilding, DO specify that. Lots of people are just looking for casual roleplays and don’t really care for the planning stage, so they ghost. It’s not enough to put up a search thread with “looking for a detailed Harry Potter AU roleplay” because that says pretty much nothing about your preferences.

 

[AlexneushoornTheGreat]

Do you have any actually thorough search treads up? If people are unsafisfied with your post length (for example) it could mean:

1. Either you did not specify your usual post length in your search thread or when you messaged a potential partner
2. You did specify it but did not actually stick to it.

Communication is important. In order to increase your chances of finding a partner that sticks around you have to state what you want very clearly and sincerely, or search for someone who meets your own criteria.

This doesn’t just apply to post length. If you’re someone who enjoys thorough planning and worldbuilding, DO specify that. Lots of people are just looking for casual roleplays and don’t really care for the planning stage, so they ghost. It’s not enough to put up a search thread with “looking for a detailed Harry Potter AU roleplay” because that says pretty much nothing about your preferences.

I'll keep that in mind. When making search threads, I already try to ask people what their preferred post length is, but the last few times I've bumped my newest search thread, people just don't respond to it at all. I have no idea why, maybe they think I'm desperate for RP or any of the fandoms and genres I've listed just don't interest people.

But I'll try to specify when I want to do a lore building RP. Thanks for that advice.

 

[peritwinkle]

Well, I gave your search thread a read and I can say this: advertising yourself negatively doesn’t help. You shouldn’t mention you were dropped in the past for whatever reason. It just doesn’t reflect good on you and makes you sound bitter, from an objective point of view. Applies to the “please don’t ghost me” bit, because it’s completely irrelevant. If someone loses interest, they will probably ghost, regardless of whether you asked them not to.

Also, you did not *actually* specify your preferred post length. I wouldn’t know if you’re someone who writes 1 paragraph or 2000 words per post. Are you a novella writer or someone who prefers a more laid back style, like slice of life?

Another piece of advice I can give is to dress your post a bit. Change up the font, add some subheadings in BOLD such as introduction, requirements, fandom. This makes it easier on the eye. You also used “post length” 3 times in the same paragraph, and although this is nitpicking and not really a grammar mistake, it makes the thread look a bit amateur, if that makes sense.

Hope it helped!

 

[Daisie]

Also, you did not *actually* specify your preferred post length.

I second this. Remember that you're advertising yourself so that the people who check out your thread will know with a quick look if you're a good fit or not. You'll want to state your preferences, not ask other people for theirs... cause they already know what theirs are, they're just trying to match those up to yours.

 

[AlexneushoornTheGreat]

Alright, I'll try to actually specify my own post length in the next search thread I make and not negatively advertise myself. Thanks for all the advice given here, and I'll try to do something with it.

 

[Jannah]

Sometimes it takes time to get into RP's here, especially if you have niche interests. I'm not sure what your interests are RP-wise, but for me it can be tricky to find stuff. Sometimes it takes months.

 

[CookieGalaxy]

FINALLY! Someone who goes through the same thing I do!! You and I are in the same boat

 

[Nine of Swords]

Niche gang assemble! It takes forever for me to find a partner too. I guess I'm not the only one.
Nowadays I tell myself that it's ok to hunt for a long time for that perfect RP, but sometimes it's tough to get 0 replies even after daily bump...

 

[DisneyGirl]

I feeeeel your pain.

In my experience, finding a quality roleplay has been a numbers game and at times a very frustrating one that needs a ton of time and dedication and it’s like that for everyone. I currently have a good handful of roleplays right now after a very dry season where I thought my greatest roleplay days were behind me but that’s after hours (heck, even a few years) of searching and tons of roleplays I was excited about that went nowhere.

For about every thirty people I plan a 1x1 with, only one or two will stick around long term which seems to be the average for most people. I’ve been at this for a decade and a half and I’ve learned to accept that most roleplays will not go beyond planning stages and most roleplay partners will ghost you

But here’s the thing.

Everyone gets ghosted.
Almost everyone ghosts.
Most of the time it’s not personal.
It’s just part of the hobby.

So the way I’ve been able to find roleplay partners while still holding onto my sanity and not giving up is to just expect that most people are gonna drop me because school got busy or they need a mental health break or they lost interest, etc. Whatever it may be, they moved on.

So here’s what I do: I move on, too.

It’s almost like dating, LOL. If you go on a date with someone, and they don’t call when they say they’re gonna call and leave your texts on read, you’re not gonna keep waiting at home waiting for them to show up at your door. I mean you could, but life’s too short for that!

Ok, then. What do you do? Meet other people and go on other dates, of course! You never know when you’ll find “the one” but all the hard work is worth it once you do, and then, sometimes they’ll leave you and all you’ve have left are the memories (again, much like dating) but a few do stick around.

It just takes time and a lot of days where you’ll want to throw your laptop across the room, but I can guarantee that if you’re a decent writer/person—and I’m sure you are—and you keep putting yourself out there and reaching out to new people, you will find someone who’ll love to write with you

 

[Melpomene]

I feeeeel your pain.

In my experience, finding a quality roleplay has been a numbers game and at times a very frustrating one that needs a ton of time and dedication and it’s like that for everyone. I currently have a good handful of roleplays right now after a very dry season where I thought my greatest roleplay days were behind me but that’s after hours (heck, even a few years) of searching and tons of roleplays I was excited about that went nowhere.

For about every thirty people I plan a 1x1 with, only one or two will stick around long term which seems to be the average for most people. I’ve been at this for a decade and a half and I’ve learned to accept that most roleplays will not go beyond planning stages and most roleplay partners will ghost you

But here’s the thing.

Everyone gets ghosted.
Almost everyone ghosts.
Most of the time it’s not personal.
It’s just part of the hobby.

So the way I’ve been able to find roleplay partners while still holding onto my sanity and not giving up is to just expect that most people are gonna drop me because school got busy or they need a mental health break or they lost interest, etc. Whatever it may be, they moved on.

So here’s what I do: I move on, too.

It’s almost like dating, LOL. If you go on a date with someone, and they don’t call when they say they’re gonna call and leave your texts on read, you’re not gonna keep waiting at home waiting for them to show up at your door. I mean you could, but life’s too short for that!

Ok, then. What do you do? Meet other people and go on other dates, of course! You never know when you’ll find “the one” but all the hard work is worth it once you do, and then, sometimes they’ll leave you and all you’ve have left are the memories (again, much like dating) but a few do stick around.

It just takes time and a lot of days where you’ll want to throw your laptop across the room, but I can guarantee that if you’re a decent writer/person—and I’m sure you are—and you keep putting yourself out there and reaching out to new people, you will find someone who’ll love to write with you

Eeeeeeverything Disneygirl said. You can literally be a God of Writing, and RP master, the most understanding and wonderful partner in the entire world with a search thread that to a T describes you and you will still get ghosted/lose partners.

It isn't personal, it is just part of the hobby.

You can try to maximize your chances, I fully support it! But be aware that there might still be difficulties finding the right partner. I have had many partners and due to my erratic schedule I could only keep a handful (and I cherish them with all my heart). Personally I don't even really RP anymore (out of choice, really) but I have come to learn expect to be ghosted and when you aren't and get nice and cozy, reeeeaaaaally cherish the good ones that just click with you just right. I know I do.

I hope you have good luck friend!

 

[Chordling]

Biggest thing I want to emphasize is that this is all a learning experience. Do your best to figure out why your last attempt was not a success. What could have gone better? What is something YOU could have done to improve that situation? I learn something new with every partner I try to write with. Most of the time, I find myself editing my recruitment thread to outline these changes in a positive manner. Positivity is key. Think of this like a job interview.

No one is going to hire you if your resume says you suck at doing your job and don’t like performing the related tasks.

Now, with all of that said, no one is going to kick you out if you decide not to roleplay. We are a community of people who enjoy a similar hobby. Many of us may still participate but some of us are just taking a break. That’s ok. There is no shame in that. Anyone who forces you otherwise can take a hike.

 

[Honeymead]

Ghosting is definitely part of the process of finding a decent RP partner. Like someone said above it's almost like speed dating. Some people click and stick and others just don't work out. Never take it to heart, usually it chalks up to a loss of motivation or IRL problems that took away their attention. At the moment I'm leaning more toward writing for myself instead of RP, but I might give it a whirl again. I, too, have been a victim of ghosting and having ghosted.

Post length shouldn't really be a problem unless you're only giving them a sentence to work with. I feel if they never said anything about it, which I would, personally, then the amount you're typing is not the problem.

Why don't you take a moment and write for yourself? That way it's your story, your pace, going the direction that you want it to go. You could also create a search thread and meet more people who might stay, but never get discouraged when they don't. RP is a very tricky hobby to get into and stay into. A lot of us fall in and out over the years. Never stop writing because of it.

 

[Emotional Enigma]

Just to go with what everyone else has said, RpN also has periods of lots of activity to not a lot. Even with me not getting many bites for partners I'll sometimes get a lot of interested partners in one month and then nothing for like 3 months afterwards. So activity here I find comes in waves.

 

[AlexneushoornTheGreat]

Why don't you take a moment and write for yourself? That way it's your story, your pace, going the direction that you want it to go. You could also create a search thread and meet more people who might stay, but never get discouraged when they don't. RP is a very tricky hobby to get into and stay into. A lot of us fall in and out over the years. Never stop writing because of it.

I could try and make some of my roleplay concepts into standalone stories, yeah. The problem is just trying to stay motivated to continue working on those stories, because I have started work on a whole lot of stories, and I regularly end up abandoning stories due to a loss of motivation. So while I could try and make some of my roleplay concepts into standalone stories, I do have a bit of a fear of motivation loss and abandoning the story.

 

[Murdergurl]

I could try and make some of my roleplay concepts into standalone stories, yeah. The problem is just trying to stay motivated to continue working on those stories, because I have started work on a whole lot of stories, and I regularly end up abandoning stories due to a loss of motivation. So while I could try and make some of my roleplay concepts into standalone stories, I do have a bit of a fear of motivation loss and abandoning the story.

^This. I relate to this so much. I have files and folders and documents of unfinished story concepts. All in different stages of having been worked on. None of them even close to coming to fruition. Some are well over 15 years old. Some are as new as a few months. I (try to) roleplay because I enjoy the collaborative aspect. It keeps me motivated to have others write with me, and takes a lot of pressure off to have to create the whole damn story myself.

So I totally feel you there.

 

[PersonwhoRPs]

id always be open for an RP! i have the same probelm, though i cant get anyome to start an RP with me

 

[Stone Cold]

If you’re lacking motivation to write individual stories, you can always try making your own writer’s group. Kind of how people join NaNoWriMo. You don’t have to necessarily RP, but you can discuss ideas. Share your progress. Check-in so there’s someone holding you accountable. There’s no short amount of people here who are enthusiatic to write - just gotta dig deep to find ones that will stick with you.

 

[GojiBean]

You know what annoys the piss out of me on this site? It's a roleplaying site, yet I don't do a lot of roleplaying here. I've ranted about this before, but I'll rant about it again because it's really a continuous problem. Sometimes while planning an RP or after an RP has just started, I end up getting ghosted by people, and other times people have quit RPs we were doing because they weren't satisfied with things like my post length, or stuff I gave them to work with, and so on. I joined this site for roleplaying, and I end up not doing a lot of roleplaying on it and mainly just hosting my Random question of the day topic, which I enjoy doing, but it's annoying that I'm on a roleplaying site and end up not doing a lot of roleplaying on it. It's like joining a book club and ending up not reading any books.

It's the nature of role-playing that people will leave RP's for a variety of reasons. Sometimes life simply gets in the way. And you can't blame them for that. Other times they leave because of you for one reason or another.

However, if they're leaving because of post length issues, it's better that they are allowed to walk away or are kicked out.

Post length is not a measure of a writer's skill, nor is it a sign of a "good role-player" when someone can write ten paragraphs. It just means they're good at writing filler and fluffing a post beyond what it actually needs in order to fulfil the goals of the post. Literally anyone can do that. It's not impressive. And they shouldn't be taken seriously. Those kinds of players who think post length is a sign of skill are beyond pretentious and should be avoided at all costs. At the risk of sounding pretentious myself, I know that I can write and say more with a single line of dialogue than these kinds of "post length" players can say with 10 paragraphs of their fluffy filler.

Other times, however, if you're the host/GM then it's really on you whether or not the players are sticking around. I just responded to a similar thread about this, but your responsibility as a GM is to take up an active role in keeping interest alive and keeping the promises you made when you created the RP and presented its premise to them.

I'm not going to go on the same lecture I did for the other individual, but I'll summarize as follows: If you find that you're hosting/GMing an RP and people are leaving at a rate you're not comfortable with, then it's time to re-examine how you're performing as a host/GM because chances are you're either doing something they don't like or you're not doing something they think you should be doing.

For example if you've got a fantasy RP with Dragons, but the Dragons are being held back and not even talked about for 20, 30, or even 40 posts, you're probably going to lose those players because they're more than likely there for the Dragons. And that's what I mean by taking an active role in maintaining interest. If Dragons are the draw (aka "the promise"), you need to at least mention them or keep them alive in the lore to keep the players' appetites whetted and their excitement high by having stories told about them or having them referenced in the culture and dialogue of the world. Part of the reason players will stick around is because of the anticipation of the draw. If you don't keep that anticipation going, they're going to leave.

Going back to players who leave for pretentious and frivolous reasons real quick, the idea that you "didn't give them enough to work with" is baloney. Every single post you make has enough information for someone else to work with if they just read it and pay attention to what's presented both on the surface, and beneath it.

For example: If you make a post about your character sitting at a campfire while calmly and absentmindedly massaging their wrist after having just gone through a battle, and it's already known or established that your character has PTSD from other conflicts from their younger years, you've given them everything they need to know and more with that little bit of info so they can make a good reply. If they give you lip about it, then they're just proving they've no idea how to understand subtext or the little clues beneath the surface of the simple actions to understand what's going on. You can either take the time to spell it out for them, or you can show them the door. Either way you're not wrong to give that amount of information for them to work with.

Hopefully this was helpful!

 

[Jannah]

However, if they're leaving because of post length issues, it's better that they are allowed to walk away or are kicked out.

Post length is not a measure of a writer's skill, nor is it a sign of a "good role-player" when someone can write ten paragraphs. It just means they're good at writing filler and fluffing a post beyond what it actually needs in order to fulfil the goals of the post. Literally anyone can do that. It's not impressive. And they shouldn't be taken seriously. Those kinds of players who think post length is a sign of skill are beyond pretentious and should be avoided at all costs. At the risk of sounding pretentious myself, I know that I can write and say more with a single line of dialogue than these kinds of "post length" players can say with 10 paragraphs of their fluffy filler.

I hate this. My posts usually average around 300-400 words, although I can go longer. I just choose not to because I'd rather not add in unnecessary filler. I think it's necessary to be super descriptive while writing novels, but less so in RP I think. Some of the best writing I've seen in RP has been in shorter posts too, around 100 or 200 words.