Looking for Anyone good at giving advice?

[Azymondias]

Sorry im asking a question but i need help:

How do I politely tell someone to fuck off. This chick keeps bugging me for money/food after I was nice and gave her gas money and half of the groceries I just got and she wants me to use my reward points at like McDonald's and Taco John's for free food to give to her.
And today she called volunteering me to get her work uniform for her. (She called from her job interview on speaker and had the manager ask if I was going to help her with the shoes or if they should give her a voucher and the call woke me up so I sleepily said yeah i'd help her) so now she wants to take me to walmart tomorrow to get her shoes (which have to be restraunt safe so non slip, non marking, black shoes) and she wants me to fill her gas tank.

After bills im only gunna have like 200 left for two weeks but she dont care she keeps telling people I'll foot her stuff and her mom even messaged me saying how nice i was to take care of stuff for her daughter and I'm just like...I'm not trying to but everytime we go out she conviently leaves her wallet at my place or in her car and I have to pay for it because im not standing around akwardly in a store waiting for her to get her wallet just for her card to decline cause she has no money but she has money for weed cause she just bought some last night and it was about 40 bucks worth.

TLDR; Chick calls me from her job and wakes me up, I tell manager yes to a question about buying her work shoes when I was half asleep and didnt realize the question. Girl keeps using me as a sugar momma basically by always having me pay for stuff but she always seems to have drug money. I just need help telling her off.

 

[Thanny]

Judging from the situation, there is no need to be polite. Be firm and resolute and oust her from your wallet. If she is being a louse and does not return the favour by being nice to you, break off, block her number, avoid her like the plague, and tell her a very firm "No."

"No" is for some people a very difficult word to say, but I will tell you now that it is necessary for survival. I do not know how much was lent out, but it will only get worse and more miserable over time if nothing changes.

 

[Hootle]

I mean if she has money to buy weed, she has money to pay for everything she needs. I think your actions can speak louder than anything you can say because I don't think, if it were me, I could be so gracious. I think you should stop whatever you're doing. Don't buy her shoes, don't give her money, don't do anything anymore. It sounds like you are being taken advantage of. It's natural to want to help someone in need but sooner or later people have to stand on their own two feet. The money she spent on weed could have gotten her shoes. That's just being irresponsible on her part. If you want to say something to her just tell her it is not your responsibility to essential pay her way, that she needs to do so on her own or ask her family. I also think it's pretty ridiculous for a manager of a future employee to call someone else to ask if said employee is going to have everything they need. What type of mess is that? Like I said, cut it all off. If she wants to get mad, let her get mad. It's not your responsibility or problem. It sounds like she needs to budget wisely and grow up some more.

 

[Thanny]

Agreed, especially regarding the shoe thing. Someone once said that "You are not responsible for anyone's happiness but yours." There are exceptions like small children under your ward but your well-being comes first in almost every other area. After all, who will look out for you when you are so outstretched by someone else's problems?

 

[Azymondias]

I mean if she has money to buy weed, she has money to pay for everything she needs. I think your actions can speak louder than anything you can say because I don't think, if it were me, I could be so gracious. I think you should stop whatever you're doing. Don't buy her shoes, don't give her money, don't do anything anymore. It sounds like you are being taken advantage of. It's natural to want to help someone in need but sooner or later people have to stand on their own two feet. The money she spent on weed could have gotten her shoes. That's just being irresponsible on her part. If you want to say something to her just tell her it is not your responsibility to essential pay her way, that she needs to do so on her own or ask her family. I also think it's pretty ridiculous for a manager of a future employee to call someone else to ask if said employee is going to have everything they need. What type of mess is that? Like I said, cut it all off. If she wants to get mad, let her get mad. It's not your responsibility or problem. It sounds like she needs to budget wisely and grow up some more.

I think the manager called cause shes almost a minor (shes 17 about to be 18 in a month) and they wanted to make sure she could start friday? idk i recently moved to this state so im not familiar with all the laws and stuff about minors.

 

[Hootle]

I think the manager called cause shes almost a minor (shes 17 about to be 18 in a month) and they wanted to make sure she could start friday? idk i recently moved to this state so im not familiar with all the laws and stuff about minors.

Still, if anything the manager should have called her mother or guardian.

 

[Azymondias]

Still, if anything the manager should have called her mother or guardian.

yeah she lied and told them i was her mum is what im getting at XD

 

[Thanny]

Yeah, this is cadging, freeloading, mooching, and other words if I ever saw it. I guess my final advice is, if being firm and confrontational is not desired, tell them how you feel about it in your own words and decline to offer anything except what you feel is okay. If a small breakfast together, sure, what is the harm? If she pays you back, awesome. I just do not wish for you to be hurt by this situation.

 

[Armageddon]

wanna know how to tell her to fuck off?

just say "fuck off".

that's a very simplified way of doing it, but seriously, this woman sounds like she has no quarrels with ignoring your hints and continuing to ask for money. she has no right to do this. she won't stop if you ask her politely to, she's just one of those people. i can tell just from reading about the situation. she clearly doesn't have any care to be polite herself, so why should you be?

at some point, you're going to have to put your foot down and firmly tell her to either stop asking or get cut off. abusive people will continue to take advantage of others until the people they're harassing finally throw some punches back and tell them to get lost. next time she asks you for something, give her a very firm no and don't relent. if she doesn't take your first no for an answer and continues to bother you about it, you send her a detailed, colorfully-worded message explaining that you won't be contacting her any longer and block her number, her profiles, every way she has to contact you.

unfortunately, you can't fix or work around this kind of stupid. you just have to kick their ass to the curb. it's hard when you're in the process of doing it, but trust me: as someone who has gone through extremely similar situations, the payoff at the end of the ordeal is one hundred thousand percent worth it.