ANNOUNCEMENT: Preparations for Episode 5

Not clear what edits are still pending. Maybe that is out of date?
Nope! @Mini T-Rex Syndrome pointed out that the traits and their names don't seem to match and a couple other things.
The worry with the body language reading power WAS tackled in Discord but I haven't heard back in that, thus, cannot clear the dispute.

Natealie Natealie (This also concerns you)
 
Gus Gus
Well I don't really see where else the points would go to account for her speed?
I don't really see Strength, Defence or really any of the other stats being able to account for it. I feel like stats are meant to represent what a character does, and It doesn't really look like Manami's maximum capabilities in the water are being represented in the stats.
 
I'll just delete Nix. I'm sorry for wasting your time everyone.
Nate, take a step back and think about this, please. So, so many characters go through difficulties in critique, it does not mean you are wasting people's times. It is time well-spent if it is going towards making a better character.
If anything, the only way that any time would be wasted here is if you do leave now. Stay, and all will be well.
 
Nix has already been approved, and the RP hasn't seem to have started, so I fail to see how time has been wasted.
 
Gus Gus
Well I don't really see where else the points would go to account for her speed?
I don't really see Strength, Defence or really any of the other stats being able to account for it. I feel like stats are meant to represent what a character does, and It doesn't really look like Manami's maximum capabilities in the water are being represented in the stats.

You don't see how strength can account for speed? You know runners do weight training too right? Muscles are what make you go...
 
That's not what the strength stat is for, though.

Bullshit. What if I want to travel by jumping? We had a frog character briefly who could jump 50 feet. That was based on strength. Speed needs EITHER super speed as a power OR high strength. Neither one requires agility. What that stat is for is avoiding tripping while you run. You can totally have super speed with a low agility. It's just a bad idea. For swimming or jumping, it is less of a problem since you can't trip.
 
Done. Feedback pl0x!

KNIGHT, P.

ByNE3tW.png
  • Heroism Statistics
    AspectScaleTotal
    Courage▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Altruism▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Order▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Kindness▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Proaction▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Diplomacy▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Composure▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Ability Statistics
    AspectScaleTotal
    Health▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱02
    Strength▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱04
    Defense▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱04
    Agility▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱04
    Intelligence▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱02
    Willpower▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱02
    Energy▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱02
 
Last edited:
Work in Progress. I'd say about 90% complete. Critique is welcomed still.

KNIGHT, P.

ByNE3tW.png
  • Heroism Statistics
    AspectScaleTotal
    Courage▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Altruism▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Order▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Kindness▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Proaction▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Diplomacy▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Composure▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Ability Statistics
    AspectScaleTotal
    Health▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱02
    Strength▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱04
    Defense▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱04
    Agility▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱04
    Intelligence▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱02
    Willpower▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱02
    Energy▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱02
I recommend colouring the stat pips like you did before so that we know what happens in the event of his cybernetics being shut down/taken away.

You also cut off suddenly at the end of the social enhancer, that seems like a mistake rather than unfinished.
 
Posting for postings sake.

















SWAN, J.

Jason_Swan500h.png
  • Heroism Statistics
    AspectScaleTotal
    Courage▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Altruism▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱06
    Order▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱04
    Kindness▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱03
    Proaction▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱06
    Diplomacy▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Composure▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰08
    Ability Statistics
    AspectScaleTotal
    Health▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱02
    Strength▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱02
    Defense▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱03
    Agility▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱02
    Intelligence▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱03
    Willpower▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱03
    Energy▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰08
 
Last edited:
Dano Dano
Trent: Standing by what I said before. I think he should block anything made of matter, including gasses. Light can still get through, so lasers work fine. Psychic attacks would still work. Oppositional TK could still penetrate it. Magnetic fields. Maybe electricity? Even if electrons couldn't get through (being physical) they could still coat the surface of the shield and cause discharges inside it by induction. Oh, also seismic waves! If you make a dome on the ground they can't punch through shield to get you, but they can still punch the ground outside dome, right? That is plenty of vulnerabilities, I think. I am a big believer in taking away the option to just punch your way through a problem because 'epic' fights where the hero and the villain just trade mighty blows is boring to me. Go whole hog: Prevent any kind of matter from penetrating the shield. That will force creative approaches to get round it. Furthermore, if gasses can't penetrate it, you could use it in space! Also, you would have to be worried about running out of air eventually if the bad guys just decide to besiege you.

If you're still taking suggestions for codenames I really like “Duban” The black shield of Cu Chulainn https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cú_Chulainn
It plays into your background being something of a 'black sheep' with issues with your father.

Speaking of which, I feel like that part of the history needs a little more detail? The dad seems a bit... cartoonish? Why was perfection still not good enough? What was the backhand for? For being perfect? I don't get what was going on there. Additionally, I am not sure why simply having powers would be grounds for disbarment? That needs fleshing out I think.

Overall though, pretty cool, flawed, and interesting character. Add some relationships, delete the default descriptions for the skills/flaws and tools/weapons tab and you have my vote for sure!

First off, thank you for your reply and taking time to look over my CS. Now to your points:

1) I appreciate your passion for Trent's power, but I'm keeping it as physical objects. It has utility and that's all I was going for. He isn't superman, just a guy that has a singular power to block physical objects.

2) I actually had a codename suggested to me earlier and I thought it fit his personality and narcissism to a T. The new code name is: Halo

3) I have a hard time writing history unless it's something I'm really into. I thought it was lacking a bit but wasn't sure how much more to add. I appreciate that you pointed out specific places to improve upon.

Im going to make a few changes to Trent and hopefully get him reposted with a full change log later this evening.
 
First off, thank you for your reply and taking time to look over my CS. Now to your points:

1) I appreciate your passion for Trent's power, but I'm keeping it as physical objects. It has utility and that's all I was going for. He isn't superman, just a guy that has a singular power to block physical objects.

Totally. Your power, your decision. Just a suggestion. If you are going with allowing gasses through though I have two further suggestions: first and most pedantically change the description to stopping solids and liquids (As gasses are physical)

second and more usefully perhaps: think about why it allows gasses through (other than because you want it that way)

Is it porous? Does it only block materials with kinetic energies in a certain range (thus allowing gasses through due to the Gaussian distribution of KE of the molecules? ) Does it it act as a detection field that suddenly concentrates at the point of impact, but won't respond to general pressure (In which case it will only work on solids and not liquids)

Can you get through if you move fast enough, or slow enough? These are questions people will ask (and not just me.) It will come up, so you should think about why it works the way it does.
 
LAZARUS


hEJo4TP.jpg
  • Heroism Meter
    AspectScaleTotal
    Courage▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰09
    Altruism▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱04
    Order▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱08
    Kindness▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱05
    Proaction▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Diplomacy▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱06
    Composure▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱08
    Ability Statistics
    AspectScaleTotal
    Repairs▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Strength▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱03
    Armor▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱03
    Agility▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱02
    RAM▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Will▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱03
    Firepower▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱02

 
Last edited:
Totally. Your power, your decision. Just a suggestion. If you are going with allowing gasses through though I have two further suggestions: first and most pedantically change the description to stopping solids and liquids (As gasses are physical)

second and more usefully perhaps: think about why it allows gasses through (other than because you want it that way)

Is it porous? Does it only block materials with kinetic energies in a certain range (thus allowing gasses through due to the Gaussian distribution of KE of the molecules? ) Does it it act as a detection field that suddenly concentrates at the point of impact, but won't respond to general pressure (In which case it will only work on solids and not liquids)

Can you get through if you move fast enough, or slow enough? These are questions people will ask (and not just me.) It will come up, so you should think about why it works the way it does.

Thanks again for replying!

1) I think what would make it easier to understand would be "tangible objects" (using the definition of tangible: capable of being touched). Liquids you can touch / hold, solids you can touch and hold, gasses you might be able to "touch" but not really hold....

2) the barrier is not porous in the sense that you could stick your hand through a "hole" in it. I understand that you are a science teacher so you want to be able to explain things, but in this instance there isn't really any explaining it, which is why we as humans cannot create it. The way in which I imagine it working would be for example if someone is shooting at Trent and he activates a barrier around some innocent people as well as himself, the bullets would "hit" the barrier and you would see a rippled effect of the energy the bullet had being dispersed and the bullet itself would simply fall to the ground. If a car had been blown up and was coming down on Trent's barrier, it would again produce a giant ripple of the energy the car had as it was falling and then slide off the barrier onto the ground. In a tornado, Trent could maintain the barrier and anyone inside would be pinned against the wall while the wind gusted around them, but none of the debris picked up by the tornado could enter. Does that make sense?

3) No you cannot get through the barrier fast or slow. Trent's sub power is the ability to move into / out of the barrier he creates.
 
VAN CAN, A


RobinWeigert_02_Supersize.jpg

(terrible photo from about 15 years ago)
  • Heroism Meter
    AspectScaleTotal
    Courage▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱08
    Altruism▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱06
    Order▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Kindness▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱06
    Proaction▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱03
    Diplomacy▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰09
    Composure▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Ability Statistics
    AspectScaleTotal
    Health▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱01
    Strength▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱02
    Defense▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱02
    Agility▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱02
    Intelligence▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱04
    Willpower▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱03
    Energy▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱01
 
PETROVICH, B


tumblr_m0gm0o9d8L1r6e9xno1_1280.jpg
  • Heroism Meter
    AspectScaleTotal
    Courage▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱03
    Altruism▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱02
    Order▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱07
    Kindness▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱02
    Proaction▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱05
    Diplomacy▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱03
    Composure▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱04
    Ability Statistics
    AspectScaleTotal
    Health▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱01
    Strength▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱01
    Defense▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱01
    Agility▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱02
    Intelligence▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱05
    Willpower▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱01
    Energy▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱▱01
 
***UPDATED***

Edwards, Trent



tumblr_n8254y0GJ51se2cnlo1_500.jpg
  • Heroism Statistics
    AspectScaleTotal
    Courage▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱5
    Altruism▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱5
    Order▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱8
    Kindness▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱4
    Proaction▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱7
    Diplomacy▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱3
    Composure▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰9
    Ability Statistics
    AspectScaleTotal
    Health▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱3
    Strength▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱2
    Defense▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱ 2
    Agility▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱▱2
    Intelligence▰▰▰▱▱▱▱▱▱3
    Willpower▰▰▰▰▰▱▱▱▱5
    Energy▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▱▱7
Change Log:
Stats:
Defense reduced from 7 to 2,
Intelligence increased from 2 to 3 (being a former lawyer),
and Energy from 3 to 7.

History: Childhood updated
 
Last edited:
More reviews and thoughts

@Natalie : I know it's easy to be discouraged. I get discouraged too. I think Nix is actually fine, and while the personality traits could be worded better, the superpowers as is are okay to me. Reading body language is an actual thing that the FBI has and does. As long as it is something fallible (just like in real life) and she is somewhat susceptible to deception. This lets characters who are closed off remain immune if they want to, but also allows him/her to read NPCs and be useful at least in that way. I think your stat spread also makes sense.

The Oldest Blueberry The Oldest Blueberry : I really like Larry. I'd love to see more of him.

AllHailDago AllHailDago : I think Melody scares me a bit given her shapeshifting abilities, and how easily that can be abused, but the system you propose in your profile I think keeps her very well tempered. I look forward to seeing her in the RP and I enjoy the idea of having a character that is a different ethnicity than what we already have!

Zahzi Zahzi : I think with the revamping of Red his stats make a lot more sense. I approve and vote for his revised sheet if I haven't already! =)
 
I am voting under duress, save me from myself....

@Mini T-Rex Syndrome : I think Izzy reads well! I know you already modified her a bit but now that I am reading her here alone, at night, I think her story is believable, her power is relatively simple, and the stats suit the abilities you granted her. I have no complaints. =)

I also like and approve of Gavin. He should definitely get together with Luther some time because her only supersuit is ridiculously scandalous, yet her powers are greatly affected by normal clothing. Perhaps he could provide something... reasonable? I think the idea of someone designing the suits is very, very neat.

This is a matter of taste for Page, but given her immunity to fire and heat, I'd move one point from health to defense, giving her a defense 3, to reflect that sort of immunity (if you want to call it that). I think on a whole her powers are balanced and I can tell you really think your way through the character creation process. I like how she isn't defined by her powers, and while she had adjusted her life so as to not flare them unintentionally, she has intellectual interests! It would be very easy to make a sort of firebug that is all about ruining the days of villains with much gusto and not having much more to them.
 
Gus Gus : For both Lars and Anthony, it is my understanding that a three is the max they can have in any stat. To have a four in intelligence they must have a superpower that affects their intellect. Can welian welian weight in on this please and let me know if that is correct? As both of these characters are (I think) normal humans, I am not certain they are able to have the intelligence stat they have.
 
Gus Gus : For both Lars and Anthony, it is my understanding that a three is the max they can have in any stat. To have a four in intelligence they must have a superpower that affects their intellect. Can welian welian weight in on this please and let me know if that is correct? As both of these characters are (I think) normal humans, I am not certain they are able to have the intelligence stat they have.
You're right about Lars being an E-rank, but Anthony is a D-Rank with Super Processing >w<
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Back
Top