Realistic or Modern Anchored by Love: Draft Three

[Lexus]

“I think I’ll make you wait on this one, Bel,” I replied with a smirk,savoring he wine lingering on my lips. Laughing at Isabel’s impatience. She hated not being in the know, and from time to time, I got too much amusement out of it. Setting the now empty wine glass on the table, Pickering my lips as I hesitated to change the subject to distract her. I was contemplating if it was worth it to tell her about Jayden. I was fearful of her harsh criticisms or over accepted optimism, whichever it was going to be. I decided to tell her, it was unfair how much I had been keeping from her lately. Looking down at the table I sighed contently. “Best friend, I think Jayden has a thing for me and I don’t. Know how to feel about it,” I confessed, shrugging my shoulders in uncertainty. I didn’t know how to handle it after everything I had been through recently. Part of me felt it was too soon to let someone else in, but part of me was frighteningly intrigued by how much I felt at ease in his presence. My anxiety has been on the rise again and I knew it wasn’t hard for Isabel to pick up on my anxiousness. I did my best to control it, but it was hard to admit whenever it took more control over me than I wanted it to. I knew I should elaborate on my confession, since it would be out of context for Isabel, she didn’t know that Jayden spent some time together recently, but I didn’t tell her because at first, I thought it was an innocent friendship and nothing more, now I wasn’t so sure and the thought made me want to drop the subject just as spontaneously as I brought it up. Looking up at Isabel, I searched her face for a reaction. Was bringing it up a mistake?

 

[isax]

When Amelia brought up Jayden I was shocked. It wasn't meant to be a bad reaction but I wasn't expecting to hear what she said. The shock only lasted for a split second before a smile swiped across my face. You and Jayden, huh? Not bad. "Oh?" I said curiously, the smile never slipping from my face. "I say do what you feel is the right thing. If you feel at ease with him then I wouldn't say that's a bad thing, Melia. It's never to let someone in plus I don't think Jayden would ever hurt you." I knew Jayden wouldn't hurt my best friend. There was just a feeling I got with him that I enjoyed. Maybe him and Amelia becoming close friends wasn't a bad idea. I liked it, actually but I would never tell her that. "He seems like a really nice person, Best Friend. No one is saying you have to become anything with him but I do think he would make a great friend to have." I sipped on my wine as I thought about this. I would feel more at ease if I knew Amelia had a friend I could rely on in Dallas. It was funny to think she and I switched roles. She wished I could find a friend to care for me my Freshman year.

 

[Lexus]

I'm trying to tell you I think he wants to be more than friends though and your giddy smile isn't helping. i shouldn't have brought it up. Sucking my cheeks in embarrassment at the situation I brought upon myself I just nodded in agreement at Isabel's nonchalant advice. "I guess you're right, but," Here we go you can never just let something go when you release. "He doesn't just want to be friends, it's not hard to tell. I may be oblivious, but not that much. You're not wrong that he is a great person, I'm sure he is, he's told me a lot about himself, some things I wish I didn't know only being a friend, but i don't want to put myself in the same situation I just got out of. I know it wouldn't be that extreme but I'm not worried about him hurting me, I'm worried about me hurting him, but I feel like it's too late to pull back from him. I was really just trying to be a friend, I even told him that and he agreed to it, but I don't know, you don't look at friends in the eye the way he looks at me. It scares me." This was not a typical conversation for me to be having and it was uncomfortable, but if I were to have it with anyone it would be Isabel. Was it worth giving Jayden the chance I knew he wanted? No, You're trying to leave Dallas, now is not the time to try and make a relationship work and it's still too soon after Nick. You're crazy. "I don't know, I just need to focus on myself for right now but I know if he does have feelings, there's no stopping them and that just means everything will go downhill for him when he realizes that." It also wasn't normal for me to be so consumed by what would happen to a man when I rejected him, I delivered my fair share of rejections, but I thought twice about Jayden because of what he told me about Eve, about how she was his one and only and he didn't see himself with anyone else besides her, and I didn't understand then why he had his eyes on me when he made this vow to himself.

 

[isax]

Sighing softly at what my best friend had to say on the matter, I smiled as gently as I possibly could without giving away how I truly felt on the matter. "Amelia, love, I know you think it's too soon considering what happened with Nick. I know nothing will stop Jayden from having feelings for you but I think despite how he feels, he will respect what you want. If you don't want to be in another relationship then he won't force you into one." I assured her gently, my smile fading as I took another sip from my wine glass to calm myself down. "Just be honest with him about how you feel. Explain you're trying to focus on yourself right now." I suggested, smiling at Amelia the best I could. "You're going to leave Dallas. Being here was never a permanent thing. He has to understand that and if he doesn't then he isn't worth keeping around as a friend."

 

[Lexus]

"You're right," I caved, continuing the conversation for the rest of the night away from Jayden and about making plans to travel somewhere over Isabel's winter break, We had yet to make a full commitment but we needed to because December would arrive before either of us could blink. By the end of a delightful dinner, the two of us finally decided to go to New York, originally, we were going to make this trip after Isabel's graduation, but seeing how eager she was to see the city with me, I couldn't help but give in. Going somewhere international as a graduation trip would be a more fitting celebratory note anyways. As we planned it all out, I couldn't stop replaying what she said about me leaving Dallas, and each time, it panged at my heart. You're going to leave Dallas, being here was never a permanent thing. I knew Isabel never intended to make me feel guilty, but the feeling was inevitable, I cared too much about her and our friendship not to consider her feelings in every commitment I made in life. Some wondered why she had so much of a say, the answer was simple. She was there when no one else was and now that things were looking up in my life, I wasn't going to rob her of my respect after she pulled me out of dark place. Any decision I made, I was always going to want her approval, because she was more than just a friend. I knew that was difficult for others to understand, but their opinions to me are irrelevant.


Despite my doubts, I didn't let them consume me. I continued scavaging for opportunities. While covering the high profile case in Tennesee, I continued to fill out grants with the same story proposal hoping I would be fortunate enough to receive at least one of them. This story meant a lot to me considering it had a personal tie to me now.

Two weeks had passed since I returned to Dallas after the trial, it was early October and I was welcoming the cool breeze's elongated stay. My sweater collection only grew since I moved out of Florida and I was hoping to see a blanket of snow this year since the last two weren't as promising. Contrary to everyone's stereotypical beliefs of me being a Floridian, I hated the heat and the humidity that accompanied it. I in fact, thrived for the cold and fall, just as I had imagined, was my favorite season. The way the leaves changed was still a breathtaking sight for me. Growing up, I only saw changing leaves in pictures, they seemed so fictitious until I saw them change from a lively green to an earthy brown for the first time myself. Something about it just fascinated me.

I still hadn't gone home to Florida to visit and it was beginning to eat at my conscious but I was a busy woman and I hated having to make time to be criticized voluntarily. I was going to be back for a visit in the next month anyway with Thanksgiving around the corner. But I know what you're really wondering about, and it's not my dysfunctional family and their harsh criticisms of me, You're wondering what happened with Jayden. Your guess is as good as mine. After I confessed to Isabel that I feared he might have feelings for me after our brief outings for coffee and lunch, I hadn't seen or heard from Jayden since. Of course, I wondered what he was up to or if the feelings I feared he had got the best of him and he decided the best thing to do was not contact me again, but I didn't dare ask him. if anyone can pick up on anything about me, it's that I am annoyingly stubborn. Though I have a deep seeded pride for this fact a majority of the time, I was frustrated with myself over it now, My natural curiosity of where Jayden disappeared to was getting the best of me, I even started to worry that something might have happened to him but even then, I couldn't bring myself to be the one to initiate a conversation. I was too afraid of what I would let it develop into because of the loneliness I felt. Maybe he decided you weren't going to be his one shot after Eve, He realized you weren't worth the chase. Why do you have to be so stubborn? Just text him and ask him how he is? No, then it seems like you want something from him and you made it clear you don't want him the same way he wants you. You probably broke him. Great.

Slumping myself into the couch with Jade at my side, I held my MacBook securely on my lap while i let my thoughts consume me again. I was supposed to be editing video to include with an article, but when Jayden crossed back into my thoughts again, I couldn't resist trying to find some way to talk to him without implying I was thinking this deeply about him. Letting my curiosity take control, I opened Facebook and typed his first and last name in the search bar. I knew I probably shouldn't. because he would either be too hard to find on what information I had, or if I found him, I wouldn't like what I did find when I went snooping through what was open to the public on his profile, but I did it anyway. It didn't take long to find him, not many have his name and not many people move from Illinois to Texas, Clicking on his profile, I couldn't help but laugh at his pictures, they were typical man pictures, all horrible in quality and made little sense as to why he would even feel the need to post them. His profile picture I expected, it was a picture of him in uniform with someone else I didn't recognize but noticed his navy uniform. They were both good-looking men and I wondered how the two met, but in the picture, the two looked like they were close friends. I wondered why Jayden didn't mention whoever it was, but the caption possibly explained why he disappeared.

"Welcome home pilot! Good luck on your next endeavor as a Blue Angel!" The tribute was heart warming so I decided to show my appreciation by liking the post. I knew then, if I liked it without sending a friend request, it would be awkward, so I sent it before I gave myself time to hesitate the decision. It was a simple action but it made my heart thud dramatically against my chest, I felt humiliated. I was acting like an anxious preteen.

 

[isax]

I know to Amelia I may have disappeared but after we had lunch I needed a few days to think about what she told me. I knew she wasn't ready to be in another relationship and I respected that but I couldn't shake the feeling she gave me every time we were together. I needed at least a few days to calm my nerves and figure out how I could ignore that feeling. Days turned into weeks and before I knew it, two weeks had passed. I didn't forget Amelia when these two weeks passed but another really close friend of mine came back home. He's a Blue Angel and he was able to sneak in a week back in Dallas before his last couple of shows before show season was over for him.

He and I met a month or so after I moved to Dallas. I volunteered to work the Fort Worth show as a security guard for the hell of it. I heard a lot about the Navy's famous Blue Angels but never got the chance to attend one of their shows growing up. I met him after he finished the show and we hit it off. Since then he, Nick and I hung out together but now it was just Dawson and I. We both don't know why Nick did what he did but when Dawson said he was in town, I needed to tell him about Amelia. He was the only other person who knew everything about me and he had a lot of great advice to offer about how I feel when it comes to being with Amelia.

I had just gotten home from Buffalo Wild Wings when I heard my phone ping. It wasn't a text message but rather a Facebook notification. I was curious as to what it could be so I took my phone out of my pocket, smiling from ear to ear when I saw her name. Amelia. The woman who made my heart skip a beat sent me a friend request and liked the most recent profile picture I had posted. Were you curious about where I've been, Amelia? Knowing she made the first move made me happy but after accepting her request, I sent one back to her, going to our text thread right after so I could shoot her a message. It was wrong of me to not say anything for the past two weeks and I didn't want her to think I was broken because of what she said. I want you in my life anywhere I can have you.

"Hey Amelia, sorry I just disappeared. A close friend of mine happened to come back from his latest show with the Blue Angels. How was Tennessee? Are you doing alright? When are you free? Let's grab coffee sometime this week." After hitting send, I could only hope I wasn't overstepping my boundaries. I missed her these past two weeks and just wanted to make sure she was doing alright.

 

[Lexus]

After I sent my friend request to Jayden, I didn't think anything of it. I closed the laptop and set it on the table before I curled into the arm of the couch watching an episode of Cake Wars. I hadn't eaten yet and was just beginning to realize how hungry I was. Groaning, I peeled myself away from where I just got comfortable and went to the kitchen to find something to make. I knew I didn't have much because i didn't have a chance to go to the store in over a week. Pulling things from the cabinet to make peanut butter and jelly, I jumped when I heard my phone vibrate against the kitchen counter. Resting a hand on my chest, I took a deep breath before I picked it up, shocked to see how quickly Jayden responded. I couldn't help but smirk at his usual banter of questions. He was always so concerned if I was okay, and while I understood why I couldn't help but giggle at his attempt of innocence. "Since when have you been cool enough to know a Blue Angel and not tell me? I thought I knew everything there was to know about you, gosh. All kidding aside, I'm fine, just hungry. Do you want to come over? I don't have chicken parm but I do know how to make a mean PB&j." Before he could reply, I sent him my location and went back to making my sandwich, not surprised to find Jade wedged in between my feet by the time I finished.

 

[isax]

I smiled when I read her response, chuckling even when I read the first half of it. She always lightened my mood no matter how harsh or serious it was. I absolutely loved that she had the ability of doing that. I was surprised when she asked if I wanted to come over but I decided to. I wanted her to eat something more than a PB&J sandwich so I figured I could pick us up something on my way there. “You know majority about me but I couldn’t give away all my secrets so soon now could I? I’ll head over now. I’ll grab us Whataburger so we can have something better than just a PB&J (not that yours are bad or anything). What do you want?” Hitting send, I grabbed my walet from the dressed in my room, smiling contently as I went out to my car, got in and drove away from my apartment. My heart was thudding so vigorously against my chest and I knew it was because I was going to see Amelia. I truly did miss her.

I stopped at a Whataburger close by her house, ordering what she asked for and what I wanted. I settled on the double meat whataburger and after I paid for the dinner, I thanked the workers before driving off to Amelia’s apartment. When I arrived, I locked the car, going to her door where I knocked, smiling brightly when I saw her open the door. Stunning as ever. “I bring food.” I said, holding up the bag but blinked out of curiosity when I heard a yip. I watched the boxer run from the couch to the door before she sat and stared me down. She was a precious little pup. “Hi there, girl. What’s your name?” I asked her, chuckling as she hopped excitedly once more before running off to the kitchen area.

 

[Lexus]

When Jayden arrived, I tried to hide the giddy smile that smeared itself across my face but I knew I wouldn't be able to get rid of it completely. Opening the door, the grin on my face was still wide. He's here. Why are you this happy that he's here? Did you think he wouldn't come? It was already to late before I realized I was too excited to help myself when I took Jayden into a hug. I also realized I should have pulled away quicker than I had but I didn't. "Sorry, I hug people who bring me food," I teased before shooing Jade away. "Shhhh girl, he's alright!" I exclaimed before the puppy calmed down and sat in front of Jayden's feet. "Her name is Jade but we call her pain in the neck because that's what she is. But you really didn't have to bring me anything, my culinary skills are pretty great if I do say so myself. I could have managed, but I'm also not one to turn down french fries so you put me in a tough spot, Jayden." By the time he arrived, I had already eaten the sandwich I not so modestly bragged about even though it, in fact, was nothing special, just something to hold me over until I could get to the store tomorrow morning, It was going to be one of my lucky few days off. It was only eight now so asking Jayden to come over wasn't too ridiculous of a request if he had a shift in the morning. Clearing my things from the coffee table, I let him sit on the couch, excited by the fact he remembered how addicted I was to sweet tea. "How was your week with your friend? Did he have a nice time with you?" I was curious to know who this friend was since Jayden chose not to mention him before. It just intrigued me that a Navy man and an officer would be such good friends, or at least, seem to be from what I saw in one picture and a caption. Seeing Jayden had other friends put me at ease though, at first I thought all he had was Nick but I was glad to know I made an incorrect assumption. By the time I came back to my side of the couch Jade made herself comfortable using Jayden's feet as her pillow. Giggling at the sight I shook my head. "That means she likes ya. She always has to be close to someone when she's not alone."

 

[isax]

“Jade’s a pretty name,” Just like yours. “I’m sure your culinary skills are magnificent but I know PB&J isn’t enough. Plus we’re in Texas. We should enjoy Whataburger as much as we can before we leave.” I said softly, the smile on my face never disappearing as I followed Amelia to the living room and sat on the couch, looking down when I felt warmth at my feet to find Jade using them as a pillow. She was such a precious pup, she automatically became my favorite. Amelia, however, couldn’t stop smiling and it felt amazing to know that was because I was here. Her smile was infectious and I loved whenever I got the chance to see it. “My week was good. We had a nice time just catching up before his next show. His name is Dawson Covington and he’s been in the Navy ever since high school, although he didn’t go in too deep until after he graduated from college. He’s a Naval pilot, which you already know, and we met about a month after I moved here. I volunteered as a security guard at the show in Fort Worth and we met after it. He’s a really great friend of mine.” I could tell Amelia was intrigued that I knew Dawson as well as I did but I was grateful to have him in my life. Sure Nick and I were best friends but he wasn’t the only person I had here. I had a decent amount of friends. Just enough to have a social life. “What? I knew you were curious to know more about the pilot so there ya have it.” Chuckling, I unwrapped my burger, taking a bit of it before releasing a content sigh. “You can never go wrong with Whataburger. Have you seen Isabel lately? How is school going for her?”

 

[Lexus]

“Well Dawson sounds interesting, though for the life of me I can’t figure out why he would want to hang out with you,” I teased, taking the food he offered me with a smile. “Thanks, but you can go wrong With Whataburger if it’s the last thing you have before you leave the state. You won’t be able to shake the craving for at least a month.” Sipping my tea and taking a handful of fries, I nodded. “Isabel’s fine, she has a lot on her plate but she’s working through it. I promised her a trip to New York over winter break if she can survive it. She doesn’t know it yet, but I already got us tickets to go see something on Broadway. We’ll have a lot of fun. It’s on her bucketlist, but I hate the city and I don’t think that’s ever going to change.” When he asked why I just shrugged my shoulders. “I’ve never been one to like things because they’re of popular opinion. I think when they’re popular, they aren’t special because everyone wants to be a part of that and I never wanted to be just like everyone else so I avoid trends, but really, there’s just too many people and it messes with my anxiety. I’ve always had trouble with it.” And it’s only come back full swing since Nick. But for some reason you make it go away. I thought to myself. I didn’t want Jayden to leave but it was too soon to ask him to stay under any regard and he just got here so I shouldn’t spend my time worrying about him having to go just yet.

 

[isax]

“Broadway huh? I’ve gone twice myself. I do enjoy the theatre and what it has to offer. I’m sure Isabel will be ecstatic when you tell her you got tickets to go.” I said gently, happily eating my burger before I took a handful of fries, dunking them in ketchup before eating them. “I’m glad you and Isabel are getting away despite how much you dislike the city. It’s overcrowded in my opinion but it’s a famous spot for everyone else. I guess we just don’t fall into the category of everyone else.” Chuckling, I set my burger on the coffee table, looking over at Amelia, freezing as her eyes caught a hold of mine. She was so stunning I couldn’t help but reach out subconsciously and tuck a strand of her lose hair behind her ear. When she looked down to her lap, I bit my lip and pulled my hand away. “S-sorry.” I said simply, looking towards the tv, grateful CSI was playing. “Do you like this show?” I asked to get rid of the awkward tension between us but I glanced over in her direction one more, not getting enough of how stunning she really was.

 

[Lexus]

The conversations I had with Jayden always had a natural flow to them and being both a journalist and just myself, I appreciated this fact. There were too many occasions where someone could not hold a conversation with me just because they didn't know how, and while I didn't blame them, it was frustrating as an individual who just wanted to get to know as much about someone as possible. The idea that he was easy to talk to I assumed was the reason I was so willing to tell him the things he wanted to know about me compared to anyone else. Listening to him talk, I became so entranced by his blue eyes that I zoned out and when I came back to reality, I realized he caught me in the act again and was now staring deeply back at me. By the time i found the courage to speak his hand was already grazing my cheek, taking a deep breath, I looked down at my lap, but only to avoid temptation, not to signal disgust towards his action. When he apologized my guilt only reemerged. I want to let you in but I think I already ruined everything. How typical of me. Meeting his gaze again I laughed at the question. "I hate it actually, the fictional shows are so inaccurate it makes me cringe. I only changed it because I didn't want you catching me watching Cake Wars if we're being honest," I replied timidly, giggling in my own discomfort again. I had a horrible habit of laughing at the worst times but it was only because I was fearful, even when I knew I had no reason to be. "Jayden, I missed you," I finally confessed rubbing my hands up and down my jeans to keep my palms from sweating.

 

[isax]

She missed me. Amelia Carson missed me while I was away for these past two weeks. I wasn’t expecting to hear her say that but it made my heart skip a beat. It made me feel warm inside. When I looked over at her I saw her hands moving back and forth her jeans, maybe to keep them from sweating. I slowly reached over to her, my hand taking hers in my own. I gave it a squeeze, the smile on my face not disappearing when she didn’t look back at me. “Amelia, look at me.” I whispered softly, reaching out to touch her cheek just like I did moments ago. “I missed you too. I’m sorry I didn’t text you. I got so busy but I really missed you.” I whispered softly, rubbing her cheeks with my thumb pad. “I’m also really glad you invited me because I wanted to see you. I don’t think I could’ve waited any longer before seeing you again.” I didn’t know what to do from here. Our gazes we’re stuck on each other’s and I felt her eyes looking into my soul. Usually that was unnerving but when she did it I was comforted. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to feel her lips against mine but I didn’t know what her reaction would be. I didn’t want to make her uncomfortable with me. Just do it. Stop being a whimp. Leaning forward, I brushed my thumb against her lips, waiting for a reaction before our lips finally met one another’s. I kissed her.

 

[Lexus]

I can't look at you, your eyes are too appealing, I'll give into them and I don't want to. Not yet. Part of me hated myself for how I let Nick continue to control my thoughts even now that he was permanently out of my life. He still clouded my judgments and made me anxious whenever I was around Jayden, I was too afraid to give Jayden a chance because I didn't want him to know what would happen the first time i rubbed him the wrong way. I always thought of myself as the problem and even though Jayden only saw the good in me now, it wasn't always going to be like that. My stubbornness and devotion to my career was bound to get to him and I didn't want to hurt him. The idea of Eve and the pain she forced him through was a huge pressure on my shoulders. What if I'm really not what he's looking for? Oh God, why is he inching towards me? Oh no. Let go of the breath! That's when he kissed me and I felt something I never felt before. The feeling sparked my stomach with nerves. I knew in that moment this was something more than lust, but I didn't know what it was because it was strangely unfamiliar to me, but it was warm and sweet and I couldn't help but embrace it. Before he could pull away, I draped an arm around his neck and pulled him closer, returning his kiss, I didn't pull away when he kept his hand on my cheek. It felt natural. When we pulled away, I blinked in disbelief at the feelings that just overwhelmed me. Biting my lip when he looked to me anxiously, wondering if he just did something wrong before he started to profusely apologize. 'it's okay," I whispered keeping my forehead on his, laughing at his nervousness. "What?" I asked in a knowing grin as he continued to look down at my lap. Was it not what you were expecting? Now that it's out of your system is this over? Then I remembered, You're his first woman, Eve was a girl. Oh no. "Jayden, we don't have to be anything if it's too much for you. I get it."

 

[isax]

Stop talking. I want to be something with you but this feeling. This feeling is overwhelming but it’s the best feeling in the world. You’re amazing, Amelia. You’re everything I need in life. I shook my head at what I heard Amelia say, picking up my head from looking at my lap to meet her gaze again. I reached up to her face, cupling her face in both my hands. “Amelia, shhh. I want this. I want to be something with you because you make me feel something and I don’t want it to go away. Ever.” I whispered gently, kissing her softly once more, smiling as the warmth spread through my body again. I didn’t pull away until I absolutely needed to, resting my head against her forehead. “You’re amazing, Amelia.” She was the most beautiful woman I ever met. She took my breath away and I wanted her in my life forever. That I knew and I would have her in my life any way I could. “And the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”

 

[Lexus]

"Here we go again with the over dramatic flattery," I whispered in a giggle, my fingers finding their way through his hair. "To be fair, you don't have much to compare me to, but I guess it's the same for me." Nick said he loved me and it disgusts me. The position he was in, crouched over me, looked uncomfortable so I slid deeper to one side of the couch cushion to give him room, the food he brought now seemingly irrelevant. But now that the intimate curiosity no longer filled the room I let the thoughts of how this could work fill my head. I was still leaving that wasn't changing, possibly going out of the country if the cards played out right. I couldn't ask him to be a part of that. I didn't think too deeply about it though because i didn't know what this was, it could just be a heat of the moment of weakness and I wasn't going to ruin the night with deep conversation about something that might not be up for debate. There was no reason to rush into things. "Jade's upset you took back her pillow," I announced as the puppy tried to find her way up on the couch between us, her two front paws at the couch's edge while she perked her ears up at the sight of the two of us. "Be nice, let Jayden have tour spot just this once."

 

[isax]

I chuckled softly, nodding at what Amelia said. “Please let me have it this one time, Jade.” Winking at the pup, I fixed how I was positioned in the couch, smiling softly at Amelia before kissing her softly once more. “I don’t make my flattery dramatic. I truly mean every thing I said.” I whispered, kissing her gently again with a chuckle as I pulled away. “I can’t get over how sweet your lips taste.” Watching her face scrunch up, this time I released an infectious laugh. “Too sappy? I’m not even sorry for saying it.” I stayed next to her, pulling her into my arms with a bright smile as I held her close against me. Everything felt so right and I didn’t want to ruin the mood by talking about what we were going to be from here. I just wanted to enjoy the time I had with her because I knew she was still leaving and I wanted to follow but maybe it was all too soon.

 

[Lexus]

This defining moment between Jayden and I was peaceful. I felt comforted and secure in his arms, his sweater hinted the same cologne I remembered catching on him when he first found me distraught in Nick's living room. It was difficult to pull myself away from, I was about to drift off when I jumped out his arms in fright at the loud, threatening pounding at my front door. Whoever it was, their voice was unfamiliar and the lividity that flew through his words gave me the same sickening feeling I got whenever I encountered Nick. I recognized the intent to harm.

"Come out here and face me you dumb bitch! I want to do to you what you assume my brother did to all those damn women you keep defending!"

Shit.

The murder case I was following in Tennessee was for Lewis Fuld, he was accused and convicted of four counts of first-degree murder and twelve additional counts of sexual assault as victims continued to come forward with their allegations against him. I profiled each of the women, both dead and alive to give people to the public and not just statistical numbers. It made it harder for people to ignore the gravity of the case then. The angry spectator at my door, was Lewis's brother, Chad and I knew there was no way to get him to leave peacefully. Through his venomous threats I knew he wanted revenge for the accusation that I was to blame for Lewis's punishment and not his own actions.

As he continued to pound at my door in his fury, I remained frozen in fear at his threats. I didn't have the compacity to think, I just trembled in fear because this was the first time I was experiencing my career putting me in danger.

 

[isax]

The moment Amelia and I shared was peaceful. It gave me such a magnificent sense of comfort and I wanted it to last for as long as possible. She was such a stunning person and deserved to be cherished in every sense of the word. When I heard the knock and felt her jump out of my arms, I blinked because I wasn't entirely sure what was going on. When I saw Amelia trembling in fear, however, I felt anger slowly build within me. I didn't like seeing Amelia so frightened and I wanted to keep her safe at all times.

I didn't know who the man on the other side of Amelia's apartment door was but I did know he wanted to harm Amelia. I couldn't let that happen. I was grateful I came over because I didn't want to think about what would have happened to Amelia if I wasn't here. "Amelia, you're okay. He's not going to hurt you." I whispered to her softly, cupping her face before I kissed her forehead to ease her nerves as best as I possibly could. When the man continued to aggressively bang on the door, I stood up, grabbing my phone as I called in what was happening, asking a unit to make it out as fast as possible.

I made it towards the door, staying by it in case he got smart and found a way to make it inside. "If you were smart you would leave." I called out through the door, my anger flaring up more when I heard the man laugh. Who does this guy think he is? "I mean it! Back away from the door and leave." I really wished in this moment I was wearing my uniform or at least had something to defend both Amelia and I.

When I felt an impact against the door, I knew what he was trying to do and I was ready if he made it in. He wasn't going to lay a single finger on Amelia but with every thud, I saw Amelia curl into a smaller ball full of fear. "Amelia, you're going to be okay." I said to her softly, quickly reacting when the door was finally kicked in. I brought the man to the ground, gripping his wrist tightly as I pinned him to the ground, causing him to drop the pocket knife he had. "You weren't smart enough to leave." I said with a shake of my head. I didn't have my handcuffs and the only thing I could do until someone arrived was keep the man face down on the ground.

 

[Lexus]

I felt Jayden press his body against mine in an act of comfort when he bestowed a tender kiss upon my forehead but I was too entranced by my fear to be completely at ease. I just bit down hard on my lip to keep from crying as Chad's voice only grew louder and with more anger. When Jayden pulled away, I pulled him back towards me, "Jayden no, please," I whispered in fearful desperation but it was already too late. He let his officer instincts take control and I let my anxiety do the same.

The entire time Jayden kept himself against the door, yelling a command, I remained trembling in fear, holding Jade against me. The two of us curled into a ball together to protect ourselves from the mad man at the door.

When Chad finally bursted through, I gasped dramatically and pleaded with tears in my eyes for all of this to stop. I was no longer the fearless journalist, but once again a helpless victim to yet another man’s fury. As Jayden kept his knee I Chad’s back, I tried to catch a breath, but I was too panicked by what Chad night do to Jayden. Jayden, however, proved to me he was stronger than he looked.

When two officers finally arrived I let Jayden take me into s right embrace where I cried against his shoulder. I hate how he always managed to see me at my worst times. It made me seem so fragile and vulnerable to the world.

Following procedure, we each have a statement to the on call officer after Chad was removed from the premises. It all ended just as fast as it began but I was still on edge about the whole scene that unfolded. Thanking the officer, when he left, I turned back to Jayden, still pretty shaken up.

“Thanks for your help,” I whispered almost inaudiblely comprehending my disbelief about what just occurred. I didn’t want to know what would have happened to me if I was alone when Chad decided to pay a visit.

 

[isax]

I didn't like and never would like seeing Amelia in such a fearful state. She was still shaken up. Hearing what she said in an almost inaudible whisper broke my heart. I was quick to tighten my embrace, keeping her as close as possible against me. "Shh, there's no reason to thank me." I whispered to her softly before I picked her up, walking back to the couch where I laid down with her on top of me. After what just occurred, I wanted to do nothing more than just hold her and provide as much security and comfort as I could. I kissed her forehead softly once again, running my fingers through her beautiful hair. "No one will ever hurt you when I'm around, Amelia. You're safe." I wanted her to believe that. I wanted her to know what I said wasn't just to provide temporary company. I wanted her to truly believe I was going to protect her at all costs.

 

[Lexus]

"A person who devotes their life to the truth can never be safe, Jayden, Not in the way you wish it could be," I whispered in a shuddered breath against his chest. I did my best to wipe the tears from my cheeks before they fell onto his sweater but I missed a few. As the two of us sat in undisturbed silence as we had been before the threating disruption, I was reminded how fortunate I was to live in a country where my safety could be returned to me in a relatively short time. This wasn't the case for everyone. I was reminded that in the career I had chosen, what just occurred was far from the worst thing that could happen. I became a target the moment i singed my ethical code and this was just a reality of that. In America, I was free and had every right to pursue the truth by law, but that did not mean everyone was going to respect me for the professional I was. "When tragedies happen, you get commended for running in because you wear a uniform and you took an oath to the people, but so did I. I promised to bring them the truth for their well being but when tragedies happen, I don't wear a uniform, people don't respect me, they hate me for prying and being inconsiderate," Sighing, I lifted my head from Jayden's chest and sat up, putting my head in my hands for a few minutes before I looked off into nothing. "You and the medics run in and get applauded, but journalists run in too, not to get commended but to get the truth. In the public's eye, there's nothing commendable about that. We're just heartless people in your way." Letting the silence linger again, I just continued to look off into the nothing, petting Jade when she came and huddled at my feet. There was no keeping me safe.

 

[isax]

I knew everything Amelia stated was true. I knew journalists took their own form of oath for the betterment of the public. I knew those they took their oath for always viewed them as inconsiderate in the times of distress. It wasn't fair people like Amelia, people who were human too, were always viewed negatively in the eye of the public. "Amelia." I said softly, sitting up so I was now upright next to her. I gently laid my hand on her thigh, smiling as gently as I could to her. "You and the rest of the journalists are everything but heartless people in our way. It irritates me knowing you're all treated so poorly but please know I appreciate everything you do for us. I support all that you do." I kissed her head gently, not knowing what else to say as the silence continued to linger. Everything stayed tense until Jade seemed to feel it and jumped onto the couch to be between us, licking Amelia's face playfully. "Hey there. You see your momma is upset huh? Let's make her happy again." I said with a bright smile, chuckling softly when Jade yipped at Amelia for attention, now running along the couch across mine and Amelia's lap. "Let's watch a movie Amelia. What do you feel like watching?"

 

[Lexus]

I heard what Jayden said, vaguely, but I was too lost in my thoughts to pay attention to it all. I wasn't completely self-aware again until I felt Jade pounce on me full force, licking me unmercifully. Giggling I pushed her away after a few eager smooches. Shaking my head at her playful yips. "Okay, okay. Shhhh," I whispered into her ear before kissed her head tenderly. "You're such a good girl," I whispered, as she tried to make herself comfortable in my lap. Despite the comfort from her and Jayden the room still made me unease and I didn't want to stay in it the rest of the night. Placing Jade back on her paws on the floor, I shook my head at Jayden's suggestion. "I don't really watch a lot, I don't have time," getting up, I walked to the kitchen for the patrón. Grabbing a glass from the cabinet, I laughed when Jayden made his way over to investigate what I was doing. "You want some?" I asked pouring it sraight into my glass, gasping when i remembered there was a jar of cherries in the fridge, Pulling them out, I poured a handful in the glass with the cherry juice and sipped it in pleasure.