Experiences An experienced minor who can never find rp!! Does anyone else have to go through this?

[chaepeumeon]

I love rp so much, but one thing that drives me insane is the fact I can never find them anymore! Being 16, every single time I go to look for a roleplay, I'm always so enamored by the detail, the plot, the whole nine yards! It always brings a frown to me when I see the rp is 18+, or 21+. I understand not wanting to roleplay with minors, but it's every roleplay on this site nowadays. The rare chance I find one that isn't, the roleplay is from a fandom I'd rather stay away from, the plotting is weak, or the person has lack of experience, or just never responds!

Does anyone else feel the same way as me? Please share your experiences below! I'm curious to hear.

 

[Walliver]

I do feel the same way, truly. Having been on this site for nearly 2 years, I have encountered my fair share of very interesting, enticing threads that wait until halfway through- or sometimes to the end- to tell you that you will be excluded because of your age.

Once, I joined an rp with no age requirements listed, only a warning that you needed to be able to handle violence and potentially triggering topics (which I have done, as I said, for nearly 2 years). Then, when we had an OOC conversation about age, and when I mentioned that I was young, I was immediately kicked. Now this was troubling, if only for these reasons:
1. There was no age requirement listed in the interest check. That was a mistake on the GM’s part
2. They were aware that I was a semi-decent writer, and that I was willing to dedicate myself to the rp (I had already created an entire little island, npcs for my character’s background, and established my character’s role on the ship)

Now, it’s not to say that things like this don’t happen very often, because they do. They happen all the time. But do not be discouraged, there are writers such as myself who are minors themselves or do not care for age requirements. There’s always someone out there!

 

[Jannah]

This seems to be a common problem the minors on the site run into so I almost wonder if a 18+ tag should be added. It would certainly be easier to narrow down RP searches if players know which ones are 18+ right away instead of having to read through the thread and be met with disappointment. On the flipside it would also help us adults find appropriate search threads if we don't want to write with minors.

 

[Steve Jobs]

Back in my day, everyone lied/didn't disclose their ages so I can't say I've run into that issue. I do find it odd that disclosing your age is such a common thing now, especially as a minor. The advice I had been given when I first started using the Internet was to stay as anonymous as you can online lest it come back to bite you. I'm certainly not telling you to do either of things, but perhaps it might be time to consider another website? There might be others that are more welcome to your age group. I agree with Jannah that it would be much for everyone involved if the website had an 18+ tag/filter.

 

[A Sparkling Zombie]

Or even just an 18+ board or a minor-friendly board. I feel like a greater organizational distinction would be a lot better for an obviously underserved demographic of the site. It would call better attention to minor-friendly roleplays and maybe encourage more users to join.

I do feel sorry for those under 18. There doesn't seem to be many forums with an active member base, or at least not I have seen.

 

[Jannah]

Or even just an 18+ board or a minor-friendly board. I feel like a greater organizational distinction would be a lot better for an obviously underserved demographic of the site. It would call better attention to minor-friendly roleplays and maybe encourage more users to join.

I do feel sorry for those under 18. There doesn't seem to be many forums with an active member base, or at least not I have seen.

Yea, this would definitely help I think. Like, if the minor friendly RP's are clearly visible then they might get more traffic. I really hope the mods implement something like this. Only concern I have is that the 18+ tag might confuse some members, especially new ones, into thinking smut is allowed on this site. Yes, the rules are listed, but a lot of people simply don't read site rules before joining. I know this from modding on other sites in the past.

 

[A Sparkling Zombie]

Yea, this would definitely help I think. Like, if the minor friendly RP's are clearly visible then they might get more traffic. I really hope the mods implement something like this. Only concern I have is that the 18+ tag might confuse some members, especially new ones, into thinking smut is allowed on this site. Yes, the rules are listed, but a lot of people simply don't read site rules before joining. I know this from modding on other sites in the past.

Yeah, there would have to be some careful consideration on the word choice for sure.

Until the staff maybe one day implements such a feature, maybe a decent alternative would be to call out minor friendliness in thread titles.

 

[PunkP]

Aww. That kinda sucks. When I started RPing rated content weren't really popular. If it becomes too much of a problem, may try gathering like-minded players who also encounter this issue. At least that nabs you a small group you can frequent if things go well.

 

[Pretty Little Creature]

So, here is the thing. First, so sorry you are experiencing frustration but this is likely the reasoning behind it.

Role-playing was a huge thing in the early to mid-thousands. I feel like this is when it reached its booming time. I mean, I'm sure they all still exist, but from my observation in the past, there has been some serious negligence in monitoring content. It is bittersweet but as someone who has now friends that have children and young nieces and nephews of my own. I can't help but feel obligated to protect younger persons from potentially damaging content. Not saying I role-play anything horrible or outrageous. But I would not feel comfortable role-playing romantic content with someone fifteen years younger than myself. Because I remember the feelings that came with role-playing serious plots and not understanding some of the stuff I was role-playing was highly inappropriate for my age back then. Actually damaging to my mental health. So I take my past experience, my present experience of now being a role model for younger generations in my family, it just feels a little "weird".

For me, it has absolutely nothing to do with someone's ability to write or read. It comes to what can be legally appropriate and what can not.
I think if I was a mom and my sixteen-year-old was role-playing with someone that was twenty-five. I'd take the serious issue to that. I'd question it. I'd be like, why are these mid-twenty-year-olds very interested in writing with my daughter? Why are these thirty-year-olds role-playing a romantic plot? Is it romantic for them? Is it platonic?
I would sort of comparing it to hanging out with your teachers when you were a teenager. It can't always be bad to hang out with people you idolize right?! Wrong. It's extremely inappropriate no matter how you frame it. Again, something I witnessed throughout high school. There were a few scandals with teachers being inappropriate to students and it was like hot gossip as a teen but when I got older I just realized what a horror story it was.

So these are some extreme reasons and I totally get the frustration. I've lived through it. These could be some facts that really impact veteran role players who are now adults refusing to role-play with minors. It's certainly my reasoning at this point in my life.

Try advertising for a plot and make it just for those in your own demographic. You might start a trend!
I think that there are plenty of young writers out there that can make some truly amazing stories and they deserve chances to write with their own peers.

 

[A Sparkling Zombie]

I think another perspective is that a group roleplay isn't that much different from an MMO in many cases. Not every roleplay is romance-centric, nor do they have content that is necessarily inappropriate for teens. It's possible to have healthy boundaries in a community with a diverse range of ages. I mean, I feel like the number one mantra for any healthy roleplayer is, or at least should be, 'player =/= character; IC =/= OOC.' I wouldn't want to roleplay with anyone who doesn't grasp the distinction, regardless of their age.

Honestly - and I don't mean this to be direct toward anyone, but I'm struggling to word it differently - the more I think about this subject, the more I feel like there's something kinda off (for lack of a better word) about a bunch of adults hopping on a site that allows minors, make groups, and then be like nO mInOrS. If there's that much concern over interacting with minors in a roleplay, why be on this site? Why not another one that is adults only?

 

[Jannah]

I think another perspective is that a group roleplay isn't that much different from an MMO in many cases. Not every roleplay is romance-centric, nor do they have content that is necessarily inappropriate for teens. It's possible to have healthy boundaries in a community with a diverse range of ages. I mean, I feel like the number one mantra for any healthy roleplayer is, or at least should be, 'player =/= character; IC =/= OOC.' I wouldn't want to roleplay with anyone who doesn't grasp the distinction, regardless of their age.

Honestly - and I don't mean this to be direct toward anyone, but I'm struggling to word it differently - the more I think about this subject, the more I feel like there's something kinda off (for lack of a better word) about a bunch of adults hopping on a site that allows minors, make groups, and then be like nO mInOrS. If there's that much concern over interacting with minors in a roleplay, why be on this site? Why not another one that is adults only?

To be fair I think most players implementing a no minors rule are doing so in 1x1's since those tend to be a little more personal and such. I'm one of those "I don't RP with minors" types, but even with group RP's I'll make an exception. I feel it's a different atmosphere and one not so personal and intimate, if that makes sense? What I was trying to explain made WAY more sense in my head.

Also, I have gone to adult RP sites and most of the time it's just players wanting smut. No thanks. I want actual stories.

 

[A Sparkling Zombie]

To be fair I think most players implementing a no minors rule are doing so in 1x1's since those tend to be a little more personal and such. I'm one of those "I don't RP with minors" types, but even with group RP's I'll make an exception. I feel it's a different atmosphere and one not so personal and intimate, if that makes sense? What I was trying to explain made WAY more sense in my head.

Also, I have gone to adult RP sites and most of the time it's just players wanting smut. No thanks. I want actual stories.

I thought chae and Walliver were alluding this to being a prominent issue with groups too. What you said makes sense though.

(For what it's worth, I'm on such a site. There are a number of players who still want story, not only sexual content, and some who don't want sexual content at all. I don't know the stats of the last group though.)

 

[Walliver]

I thought chae and Walliver were alluding this to being a prominent issue with groups too. What you said makes sense though.

(For what it's worth, I'm on such a site. There are a number of players who still want story, not only sexual content, and some who don't want sexual content at all. I don't know the stats of the last group though.)

This does happen with groups. Actually, I recently joined a group that had no age limits in the rules, but had age limits listed on their Discord server. It happens far too often for my liking, but I’d say it’s around 40% of the group rps as compared to 80% of the 1x1s.

 

[Inno]

Honestly - and I don't mean this to be direct toward anyone, but I'm struggling to word it differently - the more I think about this subject, the more I feel like there's something kinda off (for lack of a better word) about a bunch of adults hopping on a site that allows minors, make groups, and then be like nO mInOrS. If there's that much concern over interacting with minors in a roleplay, why be on this site? Why not another one that is adults only?

A good majority of those adult only sites have about a 5% of actual writers who want to write a story and not pure trash. I guess this site is a haven away from that. So if someone older doesn't want to write with someone underage, it's really within their right to do so. Like myself, I don't write with anyone under 18. Period. Been there when I was a teen, done that. If I were a mother, I don't care if my kid was writing about Harry Potter or the Muppets. I would not let them write with any adults. There's just to big of a contrast in age among other factors. I would definitely not feel comfortable with it. People should write with who they feel comfortable writing with.

 

[Walliver]

A good majority of those adult only sites have about a 5% of actual writers who want to write a story and not pure trash. I guess this site is a haven away from that. So if someone older doesn't want to write with someone underage, it's really within their right to do so. Like myself, I don't write with anyone under 18. Period. Been there when I was a teen, done that. If I were a mother, I don't care if my kid was writing about Harry Potter or the Muppets. I would not let them write with any adults. There's just to big of a contrast in age among other factors. I would definitely not feel comfortable with it. People should write with who they feel comfortable writing with.

It is definitely their right to do so, everyone has the right to write who/what they are comfortable with.

My problem is this:
1. When people do not immediately tell the other player(s) that they will not rp with minors, and allow people to get interested in their rp before letting them know an age requirement.
2. The fact that there is no tag/subject to immediately distinguish between what I might be able to rp, and what I absolutely cannot.

It means I have to pick through every single interest check I glimpse at to look for an age requirement before I can read anything else. That’s what I, personally, hate about age requirements. Not the fact that they exist, but the fact that they are not immediately and clearly pointed out to potential players.

 

[Inno]

It is definitely their right to do so, everyone has the right to write who/what they are comfortable with.

My problem is this:
1. When people do not immediately tell the other player(s) that they will not rp with minors, and allow people to get interested in their rp before letting them know an age requirement.
2. The fact that there is no tag/subject to immediately distinguish between what I might be able to rp, and what I absolutely cannot.

It means I have to pick through every single interest check I glimpse at to look for an age requirement before I can read anything else. That’s what I, personally, hate about age requirements. Not the fact that they exist, but the fact that they are not immediately and clearly pointed out to potential players.

Yeah, that's understandable. When I had my request thread, I was always up front with it and the age group I was looking for. It's unfortunate not everyone does that as it would help out a lot in the long run.

Jannah mentioned about having a tag to tell which players are looking for the 18 and up crowd which I do think that's a good idea. Maybe if there's enough of a want for it, it can happen.

 

[nerdy tangents]

I believe you can write your own tags actually. So if you don't want minors you could make a tag that says "no minors" in your thread.

 

[Sunmori]

I'd say it can come down to a person's level of comfort, but also wanting to establish boundaries.

It wasn't all that long ago I was a minor RPing online, and there's definitely, definitely, been a shift in internet culture within the last 6-7 years or so. As Caughtin4k said—people used to be more secretive with their personal details, but nowadays I think kids online are posting far more about themselves than they should be.

I'd say I think the big shift in tone is due to how the internet has evolved too. Forums have become less popular and far more obscure, social media has mostly been reduced to The Big Three (Twitter, Instagram, Facebook), and most things are hosted on Discord. Having Discord is cool, but hosting a bunch of stuff on it for organizational purposes is awful. It makes me reminiscent over the times of forum-based stuff being more the go-to.

So, now there are fewer spaces for interaction, and far more probability of interacting with a minor. Some people simply just do not want to be in that position regardless of type of RP presented. For myself, most if not all RPers on Final Fantasy XIV for example say 18+ only or 21+ only. They want to be able to create their adult-oriented spaces and have it be only that.

And as Inno put it—some of these spaces are limited in what people want to create. You can be hard-pressed to find people wanting to create fantastical stories, or something more interactive vs. romance, slice of life, or even ERP. I would say that's why there are adults in a space like this that is inclusive to both adult and minor, while still allowing a means of setting that boundary. Since people here from what I gathered are more inclined to write actual stories, plots, etc. vs the latter of romance, slice of life, erp, just for the sake of it.

 

[A Sparkling Zombie]

My thought process was more along the lines of the fact that we're potentially crowding out minors who have just as much a right to the space, and potentially, in some ways, robbing them of being able to foster the love for the hobby that we've long since cemented by now. We at least have other forum sites at our disposal where we can carve out niches for our particular boundaries and not be concerned about minor corruption if that's our prerogative. Minors have, what, maybe three active forum sites that allow them to join? With two of them having questionable activity levels?

But I also wasn't sure how prevalent the age restriction was when it comes to groups.

Anyways, this thread was meant to be for teens and us adults have taken it over. I'll shush now and be on my merry way. Hopefully the staff takes Jannah's request and actually makes a change that can make the minors here happy.

 

[Murdergurl]

The rare chance I find one that isn't, the roleplay is from a fandom I'd rather stay away from, the plotting is weak, or the person has lack of experience...

I'm a little confused here. You are only 16, but don't want to RP with others because they have a lack of experience? Aren't you then turning them down for the same reason that others might be turning you down? Experience is relative. I'm not sure what you consider to be "experienced", but there are people out there who have been RPing for longer than you have been alive. So, it strikes me as odd that you would turn away a potential RP because you felt that the person requesting it was inexperienced when you are a fledgling yourself.

As far as you not liking the fandoms, that might have a lot to do with your age differences. I personally can't level with a lot of people in their early twenties (and younger) simply because we aren't interested in the same things. We are of different generations with interests in different things. You won't outgrow this, and the problem will chase you as you "age up" in the RP community.

Weak plotting... well, that has nothing to do with age. I've seen weak ass plots from 18-year-olds all the way to people older than myself. Same with the lack of responding to your PMs or comments. That's pretty much universal. Don't take it personally.

 

[Cresion Breezes]

I'm a recently turned adult who's been doing RPs since age 14 and I understand how it feels to be excluded, and I think minors shouldn't be other than for the reason of romantic/sexual content. I was basically kicked out of an RP that I GMed after it came out that I was in high school and a minor. It felt like being in a scandal and that it was somehow my fault the RP died because people didn't want to be in something GMed by a minor. It was the first RP I ever did full art for, I drew all the banners, NPCs and location art and even some player characters, designed a nice little UI for it, and had a fucking spreadsheet to see which plot branch the players would end up doing, only for half the people to leave because they didn't want to be GMed by a minor. And one of the people that left came back to inform me that these players that left wanted to create their own similar RP based on my world and what I created, which they didn't feel right about. It was the most soul crushing thing in my RP career, and it made me quit forum RPs to just GM/DM for in person TTRPG groups until I turned 18, the entire thing still leaves me terribly bitter even today.

 

[A Sparkling Zombie]

I'm a recently turned adult who's been doing RPs since age 14 and I understand how it feels to be excluded, and I think minors shouldn't be other than for the reason of romantic/sexual content. I was basically kicked out of an RP that I GMed after it came out that I was in high school and a minor. It felt like being in a scandal and that it was somehow my fault the RP died because people didn't want to be in something GMed by a minor. It was the first RP I ever did full art for, I drew all the banners, NPCs and location art and even some player characters, designed a nice little UI for it, and had a fucking spreadsheet to see which plot branch the players would end up doing, only for half the people to leave because they didn't want to be GMed by a minor. And one of the people that left came back to inform me that these players that left wanted to create their own similar RP based on my world and what I created, which they didn't feel right about. It was the most soul crushing thing in my RP career, and it made me quit forum RPs to just GM/DM for in person TTRPG groups until I turned 18, the entire thing still leaves me terribly bitter even today.

You sound like a really good GM. I'm sorry people are horrible.

 

[AtlannianSpy]

I feel like I shouldn't tell you to just lie and so I won't.

But if you did decide to lie about your age on the internet people would be free to take you at your word about it, nothing would force them to try and verify it or spend a lot of time thinking about it.

 

[chaepeumeon]

I feel like I shouldn't tell you to just lie and so I won't.

But if you did decide to lie about your age on the internet people would be free to take you at your word about it, nothing would force them to try and verify it or spend a lot of time thinking about it.

That is true. However, the only reason I use my real age, is due to experiences I have in the past with being groomed. (Nothing to do with RP, but I always put my actual age now to fend off people who try to engage in things like that. Though it doesn't always work, it helps a little) So, nowadays I just tend to always be honest about it. I have read a lot of these replies, and I really stand with one of the users on a 18+/ adult only tag. That would make things so much easier!

 

[Murdergurl]

That is true. However, the only reason I use my real age, is due to experiences I have in the past with being groomed. (Nothing to do with RP, but I always put my actual age now to fend off people who try to engage in things like that. Though it doesn't always work, it helps a little) So, nowadays I just tend to always be honest about it. I have read a lot of these replies, and I really stand with one of the users on a 18+/ adult only tag. That would make things so much easier!

isn't that counterintuitive? Like, they'd be less likely to attempt to groom you if they didn't know you were a minor. Telling them you are a minor probably does more to open you up to that element than to hide you from it.

As far as the 18+ tag. I mean, a lot of RPs just simply state that in their req to begin with. Pretty early on, too. Especially in 1x1s more so than groups. But I guess it would make it easier for you to simply see the tag from the get-go. However, it still wouldn't change your rate of inclusion. It would just make it more stated. Whether there exists a tag or not, the same standards are in place by the community at large.

Have you tried group RPs? They are generally more inclusive to a variety of age ranges since the discourse is much less personal than a 1x1.