Realistic or Modern — 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙨 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣.

[dreamglow]

 

[dreamglow]

scroll

the warrior

yves

mood

let the rain fall down

outfit

sleeveless white shirt & black board shorts

location

the ocean

tags

boo.

DARKSIDE

Neoni

The smell of gunpowder in the air. Shouts. Yells. Bullets being fired, one lodging into the intended target’s temple. Bodies hitting the floor. Blood pooling into horrific crimson puddles. Anguished screams leaving the teenager’s lips, fighting and thrashing against the arms that restrained him and prevented him from running straight to the cause of the crimson puddle. It didn’t work, the teen breaking free and doing just that, kneeling straight into the liquid and putting a hand against the body’s chest, trying to feel a heartbeat.

“No!”

Yves shot upright in his bed, lips still parted around the word that just left them moments ago. Panting heavily, he turned to check the analog clock next to his bed, seeing that it was just past 6 in the morning. Great. Why couldn’t it be 8 or 9? Not 6, not this early on his first day off in forever. He should be sleeping in, not waking up early from a nightmare.

Knowing he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep regardless of what he did, he got out of bed and stretched his arms above his head, cracking the joints that became stiff in slumber. Then he headed over to his dresser and pulled on board shorts and a muscle tee before leaving his little house. The lack of shoes might be a concern for others but not him. He was used to being barefoot and didn’t mind it in the slightest, especially considering the workout he was about to do was going to be on sand. Shoes weren’t necessary.

An hour in and Yves was an exhausted sweaty mess. His muscles were screaming at him to stop yet his mind was still in shambles from the nightmare and the best way to stop that was exercising. But he didn’t think he could go on working out. Looking out at the ocean, he pushed his hair out of his eyes and stared at the waves. They were rougher than usual, but the sun was shining and there was hardly a cloud in the sky.

Within ten minutes, the warrior was flat on his stomach, paddling out on his board to catch the best waves. Being out here on the water, nothing but man and sun and sea, was the best place to think, to clear your head. He needed to get the remnants of the nightmare out of his mind and there was no better place to do that than out on the water.

Yves had only been out on the water for half an hour at most when clouds rolled in out of nowhere and it started to pour. Most people would use this as an excuse to take shelter or to not come outside, but not him. He welcomed the rain, relished it, in fact. The drops always seemed to wash away all the bad memories and pain from the past that he felt, why should today be any different? So this time when he paddled back out to sea after riding a wave in, instead of trying to catch the next one, he laid on his back and shut his eyes, letting the raindrops clear his mind.

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[boo.]

kiki.

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  loose white linen shirt, stiff from salt, and tan shorts that are a little shorter than mid-thigh
  

  
  
  

  
  
  
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When he stared at the sky, only just tinged with the pale fingers of the rising sun, he swore as though he wasn't looking up but down, suspended above an endless abyss, a starless void soon to be consumed with the heat of daytime. The gentle sway of the boat beneath him was becoming a little less gentle with every passing moment; he could smell rain, despite the fact that no clouds had appeared to break the eggshell blue sky. But he waited, not in any particular rush, knowing that his net would swell with fish soon, and that his early morning (far too early for his tastes) would not have been in vain. He knew it had to be nearing 6:30, maybe 7; he'd go home to a warm breakfast because his grandmama, like all old people, were always awake early. If it was going to rain, he'd probably have to go back to the docks and help secure the boats, in case something more than rain rolled in.

The cry of a gull broke the spell drugging his limbs; Kiki sat up and brushed the loose hairs off his forehead, already stiff from salt. Everything else was pulled back into a loose bun at the base of his neck. With practiced ease, he got to his feet, gripping one of the tethering ropes that hung taut off the boat's little mast, then looked over the side at his net, which was fastened to the edge of the boat by a few sturdy hooks. Just beneath the surface of the water, he could make out the telltale glint of trapped scales and wriggling fins; time to pull in.

He truly felt as though he could harness the wind. In a few quick movements he'd unfurled the sail and positioned himself at the rudder, easing the boat 'round and aiming her back toward the dock, which appeared miniature in the distance. The rest of Firdaus rose above it like a great mountain range, blocking the rising sun. Kiki glanced over his shoulder toward the last remaining drops of nighttime darkness, which were quickly dripping below the flat horizon, and wondered if that darkness looked the same on the other side of the world.

His wrinkly cream-colored linen shirt flapped as he picked up speed; the wind was at his back, urging him homeward, away from the smell of fish and toward the smell of something good on the fire. He longed to be warm, and to rest, and to allow himself a few precious moments of rest before the next duties tried to pull him away. That was all he really wanted—a chance to daydream, an escape from the daily routine that seemed to suck his very soul away. But he was not merely content in his own mind; there was another, someone he longed for, a pair of arms that had the power to make all of this worth it, if only he could find a way to wrap those arms around him.

"A good haul?"

Kiki shrugged, tossing the tethering rope to the dockmaster, who tied it to a sturdy post.

"It's alright. Water's getting choppy and it's scaring them out deeper. It'll be better tomorrow."

He took a large step over the writhing mess that was his net, which he'd hauled onto the bottom of his boat, and joined the dockmaster.

"Do you have enough hands to haul this off?"

The dockmaster slapped a rough hand on Kiki's back, sending him staggering with a barely-contained shriek of surprise.

"You tryna slack again?"

"I was just—"

"HAH! Go ahead, get some rest. I'll have plenty of time to wear you out later."

Kiki turned, grumbling, rubbing his shoulder and making his way as swiftly off the dock as he could. It was far too early to put up with that kind of teasing, even if it was meant in good humor. Just because he'd been up for three hours already didn't mean he was fully awake. He just wanted to lay down and wash the salt—

That was when he saw him. Kiki's foot hovered in midair above the last step off the dock. Unmistakable, despite the distance between them, as if Kiki had his own personal Yves-sense. As it did with every time he saw the other man, a warm feeling purred in his chest, and all iniquities were instantly forgotten. He kicked off the exhaustion that was clinging to his feet and felt the most intense urge to trail after Yves like an imprinted duckling; no matter how many times he got pushed away he managed to spring right back like a brand new rubber band. One of these days he'd probably snap. He knew that. But it didn't stop him from making a beeline for the town center so he could grab his own surfboard.

It took him a little longer than it should have. While he tried to sneak around the back of his house without his grandmama seeing him, she seemed to have her own personal Kiki-sense, and called him inside to inquire after his morning, as she always did. He hopped impatiently from foot to foot and claimed that he had somewhere to be, refusing to expound, missing the knowing look on his grandmama's face as he fled, surfboard under his arm and elation in his eyes. A few drops of rain plunked on his head as he ran back down to the shore, searching out Yves among the whitecapped waves, and it grew stronger as he neared the surf until it was finally pouring. Long strands of hair that had wriggled loose from his hairband were plastered to his neck, and his light shirt clung to his athletic frame, soaked through before he even got his feet in the waves.

Why am I doing this? He plodded out, toes curling into soft sand and eyes blinking back rivulets of water that ran down his face. The waves were strong; it was something of a battle to get out deep enough to not be pushed back by incessant waves. But he could see a familiar shape bobbing on the dark water that prickled with raindrops, and just knowing that he was near, so peacefully prostrate atop his board, kept Kiki moving forward. The closer he got, the slower he paddled, even though he was sure Yves wouldn't be able to hear him over the pelt of rain. Part of him was hesitant to disturb the other man; would he tell him to go away, as he so often did? Would he just ignore Kiki? That was almost worse. Maybe I should just turn back.

But that was when he heard him, a quiet, gentle voice so unlike the growl that Kiki was used to, not speaking but singing, his lips caressing the words and harmonizing them with the wind that swept over the water.

Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
​

Kiki's heart thudded so loudly in his chest that he was sure Yves would hear it and stop. As slow as a flow of lava, he sat up on his board, paddling as close as he dared with his hands, wondering at the eyes closed against the rain, the face glistening with wetness, the chest rising and falling with the board as it moved with the gentle waters. He was close enough now that their boards were almost touching; Kiki leaned over, almost enough to block the rain from Yves's face, his hands gripping his own board so tightly that his knuckles turned white. For a split second, he was tempted, so incredibly tempted, to lean down and take those lips in his own, hear the song in his own mouth and taste the salt on his lips.

That's a stupid idea.

Instead, he sneezed.

Oh, shit—

love it if we made it

the 1975

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[dreamglow]

scroll

the warrior

yves

mood

can i not have a moment of peace?

outfit

sleeveless white shirt & black board shorts but wet

location

heading back to his house

tags

boo.

fuck this town

glaive

Yves would rather swim in a tank full of man-eating sharks than have anyone ever catch him singing.

He had a good voice, a phenomenal one actually, and he knew it. It was just that he didn’t think warriors should be the singing type. Singing and fighting didn’t gel together, just how oil and water didn’t. He was convinced singing would tarnish his bad boy image and therefore only did it when he was completely alone. So that’s why he decided to channel his inner Hillary Duff and start singing the song that was very fitting for this particular situation. The rain was falling down and it was washing something away; not his sanity, but the nightmares that he seemed to constantly have. It was why he came out here, all alone on the waves. Or so he thought.

In most cases, Yves would be able to sense someone approaching him from far off—he’d know Kiki was on his way and would therefore prepare accordingly. However, he was so trapped inside his mind that his sensors weren’t working and the only thing he was aware of was the rain falling on his face. Though his eyes were shut, he could tell it became darker suddenly but passed it off as darker clouds coming in.

Then three things seemed to happen at once; his eyes shot open in time to see Kiki hovering above him, a wave passed under and made his board rise higher than the other’s so he just missed a sneeze to the face, and then he fell into the water. What a time to be alive.

Fuming, he stayed under the water for a very long time, trying to calm down enough in order to not kill Kiki the second his head popped above water. Kiki should consider himself very lucky that the sneeze didn’t actually land in Yves’ face, and if it had, the outcome would not be pretty in the slightest. It didn’t change the fact that he was still pissed.

After a minute or maybe an hour, he finally resurfaced and climbed back onto his board, triceps bulging at the effort. ”What the fuck, Kiki?” he asked, voice an eerie calm. Most would tell him that they’d prefer to be yelled at a hundred times over than hear him use this particular tone on them. This tone was like a coiled up snake, ready to strike at a moments notice. Yelling at least gave away the fact that he was angry.

“Why are you here?”

It was a valid question. Why was Kiki here? Yves didn’t invite him, didn’t invite anyone actually. He wanted to be alone to clear his thoughts, but of course, as usual, he was interrupted. “Couldn’t you tell I wanted to be alone?” Apparently not. ”I mean, me being out here in the middle of the ocean just lying on the board with my eyes closed doesn’t exactly seem like an open invitation, does it?”

He purposely didn’t bring up the singing, hoping that matter could be forgotten about entirely. ”I’d ask if you can take a hint but given the fact that you’ve been bothering me for years already, clearly you cannot.” Fed up with this entire situation, he began to paddle back to shore.

The desire to surf had completely vanished the second he plunged into the water. He wanted to surf by himself and since that wouldn’t be happening, didn’t want to do it at all anymore. Right now he just wanted to get out of the water entirely and then lock himself inside his house for the rest of the day. Maybe week. Or maybe a month, who knows.

Now finally back on land, he jammed the bottom of his board into the sand so that it stood upright. Pushing his soaking wet hair back and out of his eyes, he began to walk back to his house.

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[boo.]

kiki.

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Ah, so this was a massive fucking mistake after all.

I told you so, Kiki told himself, watching with despair as Yves tumbled beneath the surface of the water. He half-expected to feel a hand around his ankle, yanking him down with him, but in fact, there was complete silence for a solid minute. Kiki wished Yves would do something; instead he was left to himself, sweating buckets, able to see the other man’s shape below the surface, ready to spew forth at any moment like an underwater volcano. Kiki put his head in his hands and almost considered paddling away, but at the last moment, Yves resurfaced, such poison in his apathetic voice that Kiki physically recoiled.

“I—”

That was all he could get out before his voice cracked, failing him utterly, and he averted his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see the way Yves’s were blazing. He felt like a bug under a magnifying glass, like a dog that had just been caught chewing a hole in a shoe, like he’d just made a joke but no one was laughing. Why did he keep doing this to himself? Throwing himself at Yves when he knew all he’d get was a backhanded slap? Searching for something more but getting exactly what he always did in the end. Nothing. A distant stare, nothing more.

He tried to speak again, only managing to choke out a

“I thought maybe you would—”

Like some company. Clearly not. Yves wanted to be alone; he hammered that detail in mercilessly. Kiki stared down at his board and wished he’d just start yelling at him already, because this detached tone of voice made it sound like he was talking to a child. He hated it. He wished he hadn’t come out here after all. This was a huge misunderstanding on his end; he was the one at fault. And now he’d suffer for it. Just when he thought he’d been getting along with Yves alright, their relationship had been sent back to the stone age.

Why, stupid heart, did you have to pick him? Kiki’s eyes trailed toward the horizon, blinking out rain and hoping that there weren’t tears mixed in.

”I’d ask if you can take a hint but given the fact that you’ve been bothering me for years already, clearly you cannot.”

His breath hitched, and a lump rose into his throat. Yves paddled back to shore.

Was there any possibility that he didn’t mean what he’d just said? That it was all just a big misunderstanding? Kiki’s heart beat like a timpani, louder with each cresting wave that pounded the shore. He looked over his shoulder, watching as Yves’s rain-soaked figure stood from his board and trudged out of the water, the figure that Kiki had come to adore over the past two years, strong and muscular, every inch just as attractive as the next. Even now, the way his shirt clung to his back, revealing every coil of sinew beneath—he clenched his teeth in frustration.

Before he realized he was doing it, he was paddling furiously after Yves. Kiki had never been a fighter but there was something about the way Yves had spat at him that riled him in a way he’d never been riled before, like a cat whose fur had been brushed the wrong way for far too long. After so many months of pining uselessly, Kiki had just about had enough, and if this was where their relationship stopped—so be it. He couldn’t let Yves keep toying with his heart, intentionally or not.

He threw his board onto the sand, not bothering to tether it as Yves had done, and pelted up the shore, flinging out a hand to wrench Yves around before he could reach the treeline. His face was twisted with anger.

“I have tried to do everything right for you—taught you to feed yourself, didn’t stop even when you were the most awful student I’ve ever seen, let you make fun of me—for what? You think you’re the hottest shit on this island, but guess what—you’re the biggest fucking asshole I’ve ever met! Not once did I ask for a single word of gratitude. It’s like you expect me to just let you walk all over me. I’m fucking done!”

Kiki shook with rage, digging his fingers into Yves’s shoulders.

And then he made the mistake of letting his eyes wander down just a few inches. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, but he certainly knew when he found it. Yves’s shirt was plastered to his body, sheer from the rain, revealing the contour of his muscles, but there was something more he wasn’t expecting—or rather, two little things he’d never noticed on either side of his chest.

His face turned beet-red, and his hands dropped as if he’d been touching a hot iron poker, and his eyes snapped back up to Yves’s.

“You’re—such—a dick!”

It was all he could think to say.

concussion

girlhouse

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[dreamglow]

scroll

the warrior

yves

mood

i'm the shit

outfit

sleeveless white shirt & black board shorts but wet

location

almost to his house

tags

boo.

you don't even know me

SLANDER

If Yves had walked any faster, he’d be locked away safely inside his home, probably would have a towel around his shoulders already. Instead, his arm was grabbed and he was spun around to came face to face with a very angry Kiki, mere feet from his front porch. Did the universe have it out for him?

He didn’t know what he expected to happen but it certainly wasn’t this, this being a lecture he didn’t want in the middle of a downpour. Since this wasn’t something he signed up for, he pretended to be bored and disinterested throughout the entire thing, even going so far as to yawn at one point. However, he let Kiki get all the way through his rage rant without a single interruption, something he’d never let happen until this point. Mainly because no one dared to ever confront him, but there was a first time for everything.

Unaware of the fingers digging into his shoulders until they were released, he looked down to inspect the skin before staring off at the waves and completely missing the look down at his chest. Getting called a dick brought him back to reality and he broke the staring contest with the ocean, letting out a mirthless laugh.

“Yeah, I’m a dick,” The ‘so what’ was never actually said, but definitely implied. “And yes, I’m a big fucking asshole or whatever it was that you called me. But here’s the thing,” He paused to lick the rainwater off of his lips. “I never asked you to teach me. You voluntarily came up to me and willingly offered to teach me to fish because you were just as obsessed with me then as you are now.”

His eyes narrowed, looking Kiki up and down before continuing. “I bet if I were to ask someone to wash my feet for me, you’d be on your knees begging for the job.”

Yves didn’t say anything for a few moments, trying to figure out what to do next. Should he just walk away and head inside? Or keep going and defend his pride? The latter won out. “Also, not once did I walk all over you, stop making shit up.”

Now he was done, had nothing else left to say so it was time to go. After one last look at Kiki, he turned and started to walk back to his house. But just as he was about to step onto the porch and out of the rain, he paused and looked back. “I don’t think I’m the hottest shit on the island. I know I am.”

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[boo.]

kiki.

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For a moment, Kiki was completely beyond words. He usually wasn’t the kind of person who had trouble talking—his grandmama often told him he could talk the ears off a rock—but Yves’s savagery seemed to have ripped out his tongue completely.

“You were just as obsessed with me then as you are now.”

Kiki’s breath left him in a strangled laugh.

“I bet if I were to ask someone to wash my feet for me, you’d be on your knees begging for the job.”

That laugh quickly died.

“I don’t think I’m the hottest shit on the island. I know I am.”

That was it. That was Kiki’s breaking point. He swore he could hear something in his chest audibly snap and break into a million little pieces. Yves hadn’t just wrenched his heart out, he was gnawing on it and making sure that Kiki was watching every second.

Kiki screamed—really, truly screamed, and charged, at this point not really caring if he was terribly outclassed, because at this point it was the only thing he could do. Words had failed him utterly and while his claws were untrained, they were still sharp. He wanted to make Yves bleed as much as he was bleeding, turning white sand red, see him suffer, because at this point Kiki needed to know that Yves could feel at least one thing.

His hand latched onto the collar of Yves’s shirt and with a single, Herculean shove, pushed Yves up the stairs and slammed him against the door, as effortlessly as if he was reeling in a minnow. Tears were falling freely down his face now, masked by the pouring rain, which had only grown in intensity since they’d left the water. He looked like a mess and felt even worse, the beating of his heart only outmatched by the pounding of anger in his head. It felt like there was a lump of burning coal between his ears, and as he stared at Yves, his vision became tinged with red. He felt like there was smoke pouring out of his ears.

Then his voice returned all at once.

"I fucking hate you! I wish I'd let you starve! I—FUCK!"

With every word, he slammed Yves against the door. At this point, it hadn't yet occurred to him to wonder why Yves hadn't beat the shit out of him yet. He had his fingers digging into Yves's arms, pinning them to his sides, his face mere inches from Yves, whose expression continued to be unreadable. It only further infuriated Kiki, whose face had gone sheer red.

"I bet you get your rocks off toying with people like me! You made me think that we fucking had something! I can't even imagine what kind of fucked-up place you came from before you decided to taint Firdaus! Bet you were a real winner back home, huh? FUCKING SAY SOMETHING, YOU COWARD!!!"

i rest my case

kuma the third

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[dreamglow]

scroll

the warrior

yves

mood

mmm wood

outfit

sleeveless white shirt & black board shorts but wet

location

on his door

tags

boo.

Play With Fire

Sam Tinnesz

Yves could count on his hand the number of times he’d ever actually been truly scared. The first was when he was kidnapped and tortured as a kid by someone his father pissed off. The second was the first time he was held at gunpoint. The third was when his father was killed in front of him. The fourth was this.

When he called himself hot shit, he expected to be met with an incredulous laugh and Kiki walking away. He never anticipated the other to actually scream and charge at him like a bull. Completely frozen with fear, Yves couldn’t move and didn’t put up a fight when he was slammed against his own door, didn’t make a sound even though pain exploded across his cheek as it hit the wood.

He allowed himself to be manhandled and slammed against the wood repeatedly with every word spoken, not saying a single one in return. Then finally, the ability to speak returned to him. ”No you don’t,” he began in a whisper, ”you don’t wish you’d let me starve.” And he knew that to be true. Plus he wouldn’t starve; the other islanders would have provided him with ample amounts of food given his status and role in the clan. However, he wisely chose not to say that.

The fear that held him captive for so long was beginning to ebb away and he began to regain control of his body and brain. This caused him to be hyperaware of the situation and realize just how much he didn’t like it. He began trying to break out of the hold but given the way his arms were being restrained, the position they were currently in and the fact that Kiki had several inches and pounds on him, breaking out was impossible. Fuck.

“You made me think that we fucking had something!”

Yves stopped trying to break out of the hold at that. What? ”How the fuck did I make you believe we had something?” He’d done nothing but teach Kiki to surf in return for the fishing lessons. How did that translate into having something? Yeah, he might’ve been nicer to Kiki than he would’ve with most people but he didn’t think it would be lost in translation, that everything would become so misunderstood.

He couldn’t hold back the snort that escaped him at the fucked up place comment. ”I came from America,” he started with a chuckle, pretty much speaking to the wood, ”so if you wanna call that a fucked up place, be my guest.” he said with a shrug, or tried to since shrugging was a bit difficult at the present moment. ”And I’m not sure what you mean by winner, but if you meant being in charge and winning every ‘battle’, then yeah, I was.”

Yves almost always ended up being the last man standing, so calling himself a winner definitely fit the bill. He could feel Kiki move closer at the last words spoken, breath now hitting the back of his neck. This made him pause. No, it wasn’t because he was called a coward, he didn’t give a shit about being called that because he knew he wasn’t. The reason he paused was because he wasn’t sure what to say next. Should he say nothing? Should he say something that completely changes the subject? Or should he say something that would only infuriate Kiki more?

Mind made up, he finally spoke. ”Something.”

And if he was incredibly thankful that he was facing the wood of the door so Kiki wouldn’t see the wicked grin that spread across his lips, well, only he had to know.

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[boo.]

i'm kissing him.

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His anger made him dizzy; if he didn't already have a grip on Yves, he probably would have fallen back off the porch. Everything had gone so terribly wrong—how? Whose fault was it? All Kiki had wanted to do was catch some waves with Yves in a nice, friendly, platonic way—well, maybe not platonic in his heart—not whatever this was. He was screaming, he was crying, he was a total mess. And while he was the one pinning Yves against the door, Kiki felt like Yves was the one actually in control. Nothing he spat at him stuck. All he got was a face full of poison in return.

There was a part of Kiki that had been writhing just beneath the surface this entire time; it was a part of himself that he was frightened to face, the result of months and years of pent-up feelings, a festering crush, frustration and desperation and hopelessness. He could feel it now, crawling up his throat, threatening to spill out if Yves pushed just one more button. Kiki's heart hammered louder than a drill, and for a moment, his head fell forward, and he was almost grateful that he'd pushed Yves's head into the door, so he couldn't see the way Kiki's shoulders shook.

I can't do this anymore. I hate him. I hate him. I hate—

"Something." A smug response. Yves was pleased with himself.

Hardly had Kiki heard the second syllable when his right hand suddenly flew up, grasping Yves's chin and twisting him around so that they were chest-to-chest. Then he smashed their mouths together.

Salt. He tasted like salt. Salt and wind. For weeks Kiki had imagined kissing him, but never like this. Yves's lips were cold and unmoving; Kiki pressed fervently against them, moaning a half-finished word, eyes squeezed shut, because he knew if he opened them and saw Yves's dark eyes staring back, he'd never be able to continue.

Why am I doing this? A thought was considered then tossed away, unable to be focused on because of the man he was pressing himself onto. His other hand left his hold on his arm, grabbing onto his neck, then burying itself into his sopping wet hair. The sound of his lips moving against Yves's was deafening, the only thing he could hear despite the rain pouring down around them. His hands were desperate, clutching and pushing, the space between their bodies nonexistent, and still Yves was motionless. It felt like kissing a corpse.

Kiki's lungs ached and he was forced to surface from the depths for a gasp of air.

"Kiss me back!"

"Push me off!"

"DO SOMETHING!"

Kiki suddenly thrust his knee between Yves's legs; he clutched Yves's jaw, kisses becoming sloppier with each passing second, devouring him with a ferocity that showed he had nothing left to lose. His teeth pulled at Yves's bottom lip, at the little ring encircling the soft flesh, the same one Kiki had fantasized about since they first met.

When would he stop? When Yves kissed back? He wouldn't. Yves hated him. Here he was, kissing a man who hated him. He'd never speak to him again. Kiki tasted salt again but this time it was warm, the salt of his own tears leaking into the corners of his mouth.

like real people do

hozier

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[dreamglow]

scroll

the warrior

yves

mood

peaceful (sort of)

outfit

striped button up & light wash jeans

location

the sand

tags

boo.

Low

The Driver Era

Given the fact that he was woken up by a series of nightmares, Yves didn’t think this day was going to be normal in the slightest. But not once did he ever expect it to turn out like this.

He thought he’d go out, catch a few waves, clear his head and then spend the rest of the day sleeping. Not once did he think that he’d be joined by Kiki out on the water and then be slammed against his own door by said guest. And he never thought he’d be kissing against the door. But he didn’t try to stop Kiki’s hand from grabbing his chin, not that he could, and didn’t do anything when their lips were pressed together—though, the latter was mainly because he had no idea it was coming.

And it was because of that that he didn’t kiss back.

Not because he didn’t want to, but because he was so caught off guard that he just couldn’t move (the earlier limb paralysis was back apparently). The other pair of lips moved against his own feverishly, desperately, but his stayed unmoving. Move, dumbass! a little voice inside his head shouted but he simply could not do so. Not right now anyways. Then his eyes widened uncharacteristically when he felt a hand on his neck briefly before it slid further back into his hair.

“Kiss me back, push me off, do something!”

Before Yves could actually do something or respond to those words, a leg was shoved in between his own and he choked, unable to help it. His hands flew up, grabbing onto Kiki’s shoulders to steady himself. But it wasn’t until his lip ring was played with that the synapses began firing in his brain and he began to kiss back.

It wasn’t his best kiss ever considering he was soaking wet, the position was awkward and they probably both tasted like ocean, which wasn’t a very attractive taste in his opinion. Plus, he still wasn’t sure how it came to this, how the two of them ended up kissing when Yves was yelling at and insulting Kiki less than two minutes ago. Confusion never made for a great kiss.

Yet his lips still moved eagerly against Kiki’s, his hands gripped the others shoulder’s as if he didn’t want to let go. But when he felt his tongue move to the seam of his own lips, some reality switch clicked back on and panic immediately flooded through him. What the fuck was he doing?

“I-“ was all he could manage to say before he gathered enough strength and pushed Kiki off, grasping behind him for the doorknob. When his palm closed over it, he turned it and slipped inside the now open door, shutting and locking it behind him. Shutting his eyes, Yves slumped back against the wood and didn’t do anything to stop his body from sliding to the floor.

How long he remained in that position, he didn’t know. But he eventually got up and took a shower, washing away everything that had transpired this morning. He didn’t bother to get dressed when he got out, pulling on a pair of boxers and collapsing into his bed, falling asleep almost instantly. When he awoke some hours later, he realized he hadn’t eaten all day but wasn’t hungry so decided to while away the time watching whatever movies he had laying around.

After night had fallen and he no longer wished to stay in the house, Yves finally got dressed. He put on a button down and a pair of ripped jeans, tying the top strands of his hair back and letting the rest hang loose. Closing the door behind him, he made his way onto the sand and sat down where he could see where the waves were crashing. Then he leaned back, using one hand to support himself while the other disappeared into his pocket to pull out his vape. The next hour (or maybe hours) were spent alternating between looking out at the water and watching the smoke he’d exhaled disappear into the night air.

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[boo.]

kiki.

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Kiki knew he was well and truly fucked when Yves started to kiss back. The pressure in his chest melted instantly like ice against a hot poker, and a new energy flowed through him, and his heart started to hurt less and simply grow bigger.

After all this, all he said—this really is what I've wanted all along.

It was better than he'd ever imagined—or at least, just about as good as kissing could get when you were tired, wet, cold, and emotionally exhausted. He didn't know what could have prompted Yves to kiss back, whether it was a conscious choice or merely instinct, or maybe a hope that if he kissed back Kiki would finally leave him alone. It didn't matter. For a few seconds, Kiki could convince himself that Yves was his, even if it was only a lie. Maybe he was desperate for love and affection, and maybe he would feel worse when this was over, but he couldn't waste time thinking about that. The present demanded his attention, and all he could focus on was the way Yves's lips kneaded against his own, and how the other man held onto him as if he didn't want him to leave.

Then it was over. Kiki was alone again, left staring at a door, rain pouring around him, wondering what the fuck just happened between them.

And kind of hoping it would happen again, no matter how much it emotionally confused him.

He was a mess for the rest of the day. Hours of what were supposed to be work became hours of thinking and remembering, staring across the water at an endless horizon, the voices of others falling mutely on his ears, feet moving automatically as mind went bobbing across the ocean like a piece of driftwood.

Kiki regretted everything—almost everything. Yves was right; he didn't wish he'd let him starve. He'd been pursuing Yves from day one, despite the fact that the man had pushed him away more times than he could count. Still he came back, like a rubber ball, rebounding without a care, as if the impact didn't hurt. It was wrong, he knew that, so why couldn't he stop himself? He shouldn't have shaken him, shouldn't have pushed him against the door, shouldn't have kissed him. But if he hadn't told Yves how he felt about everything between them, he would have exploded, and a kiss would have been the best scenario.

As he expected, he couldn't sleep. Darkness fell over the island and Kiki slipped out of his hut, away from the wary eyes of his grandmama, away from the heavy clouds that had been plaguing him all day. His lips throbbed; he'd scrubbed them clean when he took a shower earlier, as if to rub the taste of Yves away. But nothing could erase the memory of how it'd felt when he kissed him back. Every time Kiki thought about it, his heart did a little jump, and he couldn't decide if it was happiness or simply shock. So he decided not to think about it.

The problem is, when you tell yourself not to think about something, you only end up thinking about it more.

So Kiki was waging an internal war when he found himself on the beach again, walking along the sand where the cold water just managed to lap at his toes. There was no wind this evening, and aside from the gentle breaking of the waves, it was silent. His eyes were trained down, toward the little pockets of air that bubbled up when the water retreated, but not really seeing anything at all. He could only remember the shock in Yves's face when he'd pushed Kiki away.

What did it all mean? He's never going to talk to me again.

At least, that was what Kiki thought, along with the fact that if news of this got out, he'd never be able to show his face without shame again. What was he thinking, kissing the lead warrior? A little nobody like himself? His toe dug into the sand and flipped over a broken mussel shell, inky black against white sand.

So it must have been luck that he decided to look up in time to see a puff of vapor floating out over the waves. For a moment he thought it was a cloud in the distance, but as he got closer, he could see it was just above the surface of the water, right in front of him, before it dissipated. Was someone burning something? He looked over the sand and found him. The source of all his anxieties, and the reason why he probably wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.

Yves.

Mouth went dry, and Kiki's head shot back down. Yves was sitting on the sand a little further back from the water, vape pen in hand, looking awfully like he had come here to be alone. No doubt traumatized by what Kiki had done to him. Well, I learned my lesson about disturbing his precious alone time. I should just leave. He couldn't tell if his eyes were open or not; there was a chance he hadn't noticed him. But he stopped anyway, gaze cast aside, ashamed.

"Sorry."

A single word, spoken so quiet that Yves might not have been able to hear it at all.

Then he turned on his heel, ready to make one more effort to put Yves out of his life, for both their sakes.

song on the beach

Mathew Steven Klein

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[dreamglow]

scroll

the warrior

yves

mood

smoke king

outfit

striped button up & light wash jeans

location

the sand

tags

boo.

dead inside

blackbear

This time, Yves sensed him coming from a mile away.

Most didn’t know how he did it. Some might say it was a subtle change in the wind, a shift in the air. Others would say it was from years spent as a gang leader and getting attuned to threats of all kind at any time. Regardless, he knew when someone was approaching him from far away. Because of his upbringing, he'd usually be up in arms, ready to defend himself by any means necessary. But he knew this was Kiki.

So what did he do?

He sure as hell didn't get up in arms. No. Yves stayed right where he was and continued smoking.

Now that he knew Kiki was approaching, he decided to up his smoke trick game. He didn’t know why he was trying to show off, but a little voice inside his head (the same voice that reminded him to kiss back earlier) told him he should show off. So he did.

He was in the middle of doing a bow-tie split smoke trick when Kiki finally crossed his line of sight and began apologizing. Yves didn’t look up right away after the apology was finished, preferring to stay quiet and complete his trick. Only when the last of the smoke vanished did he look up at the other. “Sorry for what, exactly?” he wondered, though figured he knew the answer to that question. “For bruising my shoulders with your fingers or for slamming me into my own door?” Except he wasn’t mad about either. Not really. And he didn’t know why.

Rather than dwelling on the matter, he took another inhale and exhaled without doing a trick. “What are you doing here though?” he asked delicately. “Been stalking me lately?” He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to that. Or maybe he did. Did he really?

Instead, Yves inhaled and began working on another trick.

He let the smoke tumble slowly out of his mouth as he thought about what he should do next, managing to inhale some of the exhaled smoke through his nose as he did so. And then it came to him. The jellyfish. One of the hardest tricks out there. If he got it Kiki better love him since this was nearly impossible to get right.

The next few seconds were tense but he somehow pulled it off flawlessly, watching the smoke jellyfish float out towards the sea. Yeah, he deserved a massive applause for that one yet knew he’d be met with nothing but silence. Whatever. He’d just give himself a mental pat on the back for doing it, and a big one at that.

Yves’ eyes cut over to Kiki for a second, taking everything in, before he resumed his stare at the crashing waves and took another inhale. “Nice shirt.” he commented. Or lack thereof, more like it.

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[boo.]

kiki.

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  dreamglow
  

  
  
  

  
  
  

Kiki was so prepared to leave without another word that Yves’s voice paralyzed him like a siren’s call. He turned sharply toward him, lips gaping, a sense of shame washing over him, hot and thick, keeping his bare feet glued to the sand. He knew he was wrong to have done that to Yves, but hearing the accusation out loud? Dark eyes studied the sand, weighted down by a gravity that he was too frightened to try to overcome.

There was a pause as Yves took another hit, and Kiki squeezed his eyes shut, readying himself for another barrage of allegations, for the demand that they never speak to one another again, for the claim that Kiki was a pervert in the way he’d assaulted the man he held affections for. He didn’t regret what he’d said, but he did regret kissing him.

Then why did Yves kiss back? It was a question he couldn’t find an answer for, a question he felt he didn’t deserve an answer for.

“I’m not—”

He choked.

“—stalking you, Yves.”

Brows knitted together in helplessness. He seemed so casual about all of this, sitting on the sand, puffing smoke. He couldn’t help but stare at the way the milky white vapor spilled out of Yves’s mouth like a living creature, tamed to his will, twisting in a way that seemed almost impossible. The longer Kiki stared, the more he was reduced to silence, as if he was obliged to watch and be awed by the skill of the man before him. Lingering traces of vape smoke tickled Kiki’s ear like a ghostly hand, and gooseflesh raced up his exposed torso.

It wasn’t fair. All of this, an entire day spent trying to convince himself he wanted to hate Yves, only to be faced with this and find himself falling all over again. There was something about him that drew in Kiki like a fish on a hook, something that baited him time and time again, no matter how much he knew he’d get hurt in the end. Was it really worth it, for those small moments of attention he clutched so close?

“I was just… walking. Clearing my head.”

He wasn’t being chased off, or yelled at. In fact, Yves seemed entirely apathetic about everything. Was this a good thing, or a bad thing? Was this a warning sign, the calm before the storm? Why hadn’t Yves told him to leave?

“If you don’t want to talk about what happened earlier, I… I don’t know. It just kind of happened. It’s not why I followed you onto the waves, and not why I chased you back to your house. I’m so stupid…”

His breath caught as Yves’s last trick bubbled through his lips like water over smooth rocks, curling and twisting into a shape that was unmistakable—a perfect jellyfish, swimming through night air instead of ocean, a phantom that stole whatever Kiki had left in his lungs.

No, it wasn’t fair for Yves to be this talented. And that was to say nothing of his appearance—those wild locks of dark hair were half-tied up, the rest framing his sharp features with a nearly endearing quality, wavy from salt. With the way he sat back in the sand, Kiki could see the outline of his figure, lithe muscles beneath thin fabric, a sight he’d often fantasized but never actually seen. Earlier today had been the closest, seeing the outline of his body through a soaking wet shirt, feeling him move beneath his hands—

His mind’s eye flashed back to what he’d felt on Yves’s chest. The piercings. Dark eyes found Yves’s again.

Weakness overcame his limbs, and suddenly he sat down beside Yves, not too close but not far either, helpless to his heart, which was hammering against his ribcage like a sledgehammer.

“Nice shirt.”

Kiki’s eyes shot toward the ocean, refusing to meet Yves’s for fear that the man would see him flush.

“Nice… tricks. I’ve never seen that one before.”

He drew his legs in close, crossing his arms over his knees as if making himself smaller would make him feel more comfortable. It didn’t. He was just waiting for when Yves would push him away, and when that happened, he’d come crawling back like he always did. It’s not fair. I hate this.

“You must have a—”

Nice tongue. Oh my god, I can’t believe I almost said that out loud.

“Hm. Maybe you could show me how some time.”

stay

post malone

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[dreamglow]

scroll

the warrior

yves

mood

just call me teacher yves

outfit

striped button up & light wash jeans

location

the sand

tags

boo.

Threat

wearethegood

yves could see the guilt written all over kiki’s face, could practically taste it floating in the air. was he feeling guilty for earlier or feeling guilty for right now? either way, he never had a chance to find out.

“i’m not stalking you, yves.”

came the response. he wasn’t entirely sure he believed it. it was pretty rare for anyone else apart from him to be found on this particular stretch of beach this late at night. and when kiki mentioned how he just happened to be walking, yves believed him even less. it all seemed too planned to be a coincidence. but he didn’t do anything about it, didn’t say anything about it, and just gave a wry smile as he continued to smoke.

he was well aware of how the smoke leaving his lips seemed to enrapture the other, how it seemed to capture his attention like the mona lisa did to everyone at the louvre. good. this is what yves was hoping for, though he still wasn’t sure why he was.

“don’t want to talk about… kind of happened…followed you out to the waves… chased you back.”

the words were heard though he wasn’t really listening. his attention was still mainly grasped by the ocean and the smoke tricks he was oh so fond of. but after the completion of the jellyfish, the little mind bubble he was trapped in seemed to have popped and he once again became aware of the fact that there was another soul on the beach with him.

yves turned his head and looked up at kiki, preparing to ask whether or not he enjoyed the jellyfish trick. but the words died in his throat as he saw the eyes roam over his body appreciatively, taking in his form as if it was something to be desired and wanted. he’d never had anyone look at him like that and didn’t know what to do, so just swallowed audibly and looked back out at the ocean.

out of the corner of his eye he could see kiki sit down nearby him but didn’t turn to look. instead, he took another mindless inhale and exhaled just as a wave crashed rather loudly.

“thanks,” he replied when he heard the compliment. “it’s called the jellyfish,” which, obviously. “and you probably wouldn’t have since a lot of people can’t do it.” leave it to him to emphasize the fact that he could.

yves raised his brows when he heard kiki begin to speak and then cut himself off. he must have a nice what? he kept his brows raised as he waited for the sentence to be completed but it never was. then they raised even higher at the showing suggestion.

“you want me to show you?” he repeated in slight disbelief. “okay.” he made to inhale but then had a better idea. “though if you’d rather,” he finally looked over at kiki. “i can teach you how to do the tricks.” yves finally inhaled a fair bit of smoke and kept it in his mouth as he positioned his tongue into the correct position, then he began to exhale smoke triangles straight into kiki’s face. hopefully kiki liked the smell of watermelon.

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[boo.]

kiki.

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  interactions

  
  
  
  

  dreamglow
  

  
  
  

  
  
  

Kiki expected to be met with ridicule, a pushing away, the rejection that had been inevitable from the start. So when he was met with a faceful of fruity-smelling vape, he couldn’t help but… gape. The taste, the same that had once occupied Yves’s mouth, now occupied his own.

He coughed.

Eyes fluttered against white vapor, a mist that clouded his mind, another layer of confusion atop the ever-growing tower of his feelings for Yves. The cloud cleared but he was still reeling, seeing but unseeing, eyebrows pressed together in helpless uncertainty, staring at Yves staring at him. Instantly, his stomach swirled and tumbled like an acrobat, almost like nausea but not unpleasant. The man opposite him held the vape pen to his lips again and inhaled quietly, releasing a ring and flapping his hand in the air beside it until the form wobbled and shifted into a triangle.

This time, Kiki was ready as it washed over his face, parting his lips and sucking the faint-tasting smoke in like he was an astronaut drinking water in zero-gravity. It wasn’t perfect; traces of vape escaped around his face, but when he released his breath again, tiny wisps pooled out around his lips.

Is this what you want?

“I still don’t understand,”

he muttered, flicking his eyes toward the ocean and tapping the fingers of one hand over the back of the other hand. It was a pitiful excuse to hide the way he was struggling to put the pieces together; was Yves still mad? Had he been mad in the first place? Another triangle dissipated against his ear, and he looked back again.

Yves was still staring at him.

Oh.

Oh.

His knees fell to the side, a hand reaching out to bolster himself against the sand, scooting closer.

“You’ll have to start with the basics, I think.”

There was a cautiousness in the way he spoke, a slight crescendo of hopefulness, the fingers of his heart reaching out blindly and hoping to make contact with someone who wanted the same thing he did.

Yves was beautiful to him. Where others saw an impatient, ruthless, coldhearted man, Kiki saw someone who bore a burden he didn’t deserve. He knew nothing of his life before Firdaus but it didn’t matter; he knew pain when he saw it, and Yves was riddled through, right down to the core. The fact that he was here now, strong despite the casualties in his soul, relaxing on a beach as if nothing could touch him, blowing triangles into the face of a stranger he’d kissed back, was achingly attractive. Something of a pained expression washed over Kiki’s face, a realization that he was falling into the same bad habits, that a detox from Yves had been impossible from the start.

Every time Yves blew out, his lips pursed, a kiss to vacant air. Kiki wanted to fill that empty space. He wanted it so badly that he felt like he was watching him in slow motion, watching him lift the pen to his lips and breathe in slowly, soft cheeks puffing slightly as he prepared to barrage Kiki once more.

Not this time.

Smoke had only just begun to trickle out of Yves’s lips when Kiki flashed his hands out, grabbing his face, and pulled him close enough to kiss. Unlike earlier that day, his lips hardly lighted on Yves’s, hardly making contact at all, just enough so that white vapor could pour out of Yves’s mouth and into Kiki’s. Dark eyes fluttered closed, concentrating on the taste of watermelon and Yves, thumbs rubbing the space just below Yves’s eyelashes, his skin cool to the touch.

And then he kissed him for real, pressing harder, lips moving softly, a completely different sensation from before. This wasn’t a taking—it was a giving. Kiki wanted Yves to want him; was this enough?

Or am I making the same mistake?

Lungs burned and he knew he’d have to come up for air, but then he felt a reciprocation, a movement against him, and Kiki let out the smallest of whimpers, a sound of approval, and his lips parted more, desperate to drink in as much of the other man as he could. A hand slid around to dig into his hair, black locks soft between his fingers. He felt greedy, diving in for seconds and thirds, easing into a rhythm that felt out of his control, a rhythm that Yves was matching. His heart hammered so loud that he was sure he’d be able to hear it.

Finally their lips parted, and Kiki rested his forehead against Yves’s, panting as though he’d just sprinted across the finish line. He stared down at Yves’s chest, not really seeing, still reeling from the taste in his mouth and the tingle on his lips.

Was that real? Did that just happen?

“Yves, I—”

Say it.

“I want you.”

vibes

chase atlantic

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[dreamglow]

scroll

the warrior

yves

mood

incredibly content, for once

outfit

just boxers

location

in his bed

tags

boo.

Save Some Room

shallou

Darkness was peaceful.

There were times it could be scary to some people, times where it was thrilling. But to Yves, it was nothing but peaceful, especially now when he was so deep in slumber. However, slumber wasn’t always so peaceful. Not when he was plagued by nightmares such as the ones that had awoken him the previous morning.

This particular morning was nightmare free.

Maybe it was because he was absolutely exhausted, or maybe it was because he was in the arms of another—he didn’t know and didn’t care to find out. But it was nice to wake up without being drenched in sweat and without screaming until his throat was raw. It was also very nice to not wake up with the sun and sleep far past the time when its rays beat down onto the grains of sand outside.

Yves slowly came to consciousness shortly after a finger began to trace part of the tattoo on his back, though he didn’t open his eyes. The action was incredibly relaxing, soothing even, and he didn’t want to open his eyes until he absolutely had to.

”It’s called a Sak Yant,” he piped up through a groggy morning voice, officially popping this little serene bubble they had going. ”A type of traditional Thai tattoo. Mine is called the Suea Sak Yant, or the Twin Tiger. It represents strength, authority and power.” he explained. This type of tattoo was popular amongst people in the military, politicians, business people and various other leaders, so it sort of made sense that he had one.

The entire time he spoke, Yves had yet to open his eyes. He would take this to the grave with him and if anyone ever asked he’d firmly deny it, but he really enjoyed being in Kiki’s arms. He felt safe, completely protected from the world and its atrocities, something that was a complete 180 from the usual. He was used to having to be the one to stand tall and protect others, not the one being protected. It was a nice change, to say the least. And if his head snuggled further into Kiki’s bicep and back pressed further into the other’s chest, no it didn’t.

Still absolutely exhausted from last night’s activities, he could have fallen back to sleep in seconds. But he didn’t. Though the skin was unblemished, his wrists still felt the belt that was once around them, the phantom tightness causing him to look down at them and bite back a grin. He had yet to actually try to move around, but had a feeling it would be painful in certain areas. All sings of a good time, to say the least.

Rarely was a morning spent sleeping in and spending a better part of the day in bed, but there was not a single bone in Yves’ body that had any desire to get up and actually do something productive. Today just might be his first ever “lazy day”. He wasn't complaining.

"Do you want breakfast?"

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[boo.]

kiki.

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Yves's voice, sleep-drugged and muffled against the pillow, shocked Kiki so much that he immediately froze, a child caught with his hand in a cookie jar. A wave of sudden nausea washed cold over his face, and fear gripped him—fear that Yves was going to push him away again and Kiki would be left alone—

Oh.

He forced himself to breathe when he realized what Yves was saying, that he wasn't telling him to stop. His palm flattened against the tattoo, against the skin he'd warmed with his own, and focused on the timbre of his voice, the way it rumbled against Kiki's chest and sounded... pleasant. Content, even. Afraid to move, he swore he almost died when the other shifted just slightly against him, not pulling away but pushing closer, as if there was any space left between them.

Perhaps he could be content, too. This moment alone could be enough to satisfy every craving he'd fostered so selfishly over the past months, the helpless crush he'd done nothing to stifle. To pretend that Yves was his, if only for a few sweaty hours and the morning hours—wasn't that enough?

He already knew the answer.

His fingers twitched against Yves's back, and he dragged his nails feather-light over the tattoo once more, crawling his way up to the top of his spine, ending at the base of his neck, where he dared to brush his lips in what could hardly be called a kiss.

"Do you want breakfast?"

Kiki hesitated, and his hand brushed over the top of Yves's shoulder before curving down the length of his arm, muscles lax beneath the pads of his fingers. He shivered.

"I'm not hungry."

His own voice surprised him, slurred with the dregs of heavy sleep.

"But you should eat something."

As gently as it had moved there, his hand retracted, and without another word, he quietly slipped away from Yves, spilling his legs over the side of the bed to sit. He intended to stand but the weight in his chest dragged him down, and he propped his elbows on his knees, hiding his head in his hands, his back to Yves.

I hate this. I can't do it.

And it was ungrateful to think this way. Yves had given him a night—why did it feel so horrible? He'd had a good time and so had Yves, or so he could only assume when he recalled the other's face amidst the throes of ecstasy. Kiki's cheeks burned at the memory, and his mind whirled and spun in a knot of its own making.

Kiki adored the other man, even though he knew it was stupid, and had been fantasizing about him for months like a hormonal teen. At every attempt to make himself more than a fishing mentor, more than an acquaintance, he'd been met with curt refusal and cold eyes, and his stupid stupid heart only wanted him more.

And what had he done about it last night? Slammed him against his door, taken a kiss that wasn't his, had the gall to sit next to him in that damned sand and ask for something he couldn't have. The sex was fantastic but it wasn't what he'd wanted from the start, and now this thing between them—was there even anything there?—was based solely on that. Sex. Physical attraction. Fuckbuddies. Is that what we are now? The ache in Kiki's heart was beginning to consume him from the inside out, the longing to be more than just something useful in Yves's eyes.

"I, uh..."

Kiki got to his feet and rubbed the heel of his hand against his eyes, so hard he saw spots.

"Sorry, I'm still... tired."

It was a lame excuse but he didn't have the heart to come up with something better as he trailed toward the bathroom on the other side of the room. This silence was deafening and he hated it, but he wasn't sure if he'd rather Yves said something or just stayed silent. He flicked the light on and winced in the yellow glow, giving the door a slight push but not noticing when it didn't close the entire way but instead drifted back open, revealing him to Yves.

Kiki gripped the sides of the sink so hard that his knuckles were turning white. His own face stared back at him in the mirror, dark-rimmed and drooping with lingering exhaustion. He'd fallen asleep with his hair still wet from his shower and it hung in ragged clumps around his face; he dragged his fingers through it but he couldn't chase the hollowness from his eyes. He looked on the verge of tears, and he still didn't know why. His stomach churned and flipped with unresolved emotion, confusion about what this meant for the both of them, torn between wanting to say something about it and wanting Yves to just kick him out already, get it over with.

Because wasn't that what he always did in the end? Kick him out? Those poisonous words rattled loose in Kiki's head, relentless in the way they chased every certainty from his mind. Because how could they ever be more if that was how Yves saw him?

"You were just as obsessed with me then as you are now.”

"You’ve been bothering me for years already."

”How the fuck did I make you believe we had something?”

Kiki squeezed his eyes shut, willing the tears to disappear, not wanting Yves to see that he'd been crying. If there was one thing he knew about the other man, it was that he hated weakness.

And I am so very weak around you, Yves.

"Do you..."

He swallowed the thick glob in his throat.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to sleep so late, I..."

Fuck, why can't I speak?

"I just need a second, then I'll be out of your hair..."

Dammit, I'm going to cry.

He was not aware that the door still hung open, making him visible to Yves from the bed.

bitter pill

christian kuria

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[dreamglow]

scroll

the warrior

yves

mood

am i a barber?

outfit

just boxers

location

the bathroom

tags

boo.

Rock Bottom

hailee steinfeld

Maybe he shouldn’t have spoke. Maybe he shouldn’t have offered information about the tattoo on his back that wasn’t asked for. Because when he did, when he opened his mouth and allowed his voice to infiltrate the peaceful silence, something seemed to shift. Something in the air shifted and a cold, frosty draft swept through the room.

It made his already icy heart feel even colder.

Yves felt his entire body lock up when he felt lips on the back of his neck and fingers on his arm, an entirely different bodily response compared to the one he gave a few minutes ago. Now, the idea of snuggling back and spending the morning in Kiki’s arms felt forbidden. He felt wrong for even thinking it possible.

I’m not hungry either, but I was planning on cooking for you.

He had no idea what he had in the house in ways of food, no idea what he even had as a breakfast option. He hadn’t been eating much these past few weeks, having had no appetite when he woke up and the lack of one persisting throughout the day. Instead of replying to the eating suggestion, he just kept his mouth shut and said absolutely nothing.

His mouth remained shut when Kiki moved away from him and sat at the edge of the bed. Though they sat in silence, his thoughts were loud, mind absolutely screaming. What was going on? He thought they had a decent time last night, so what was this? Did he actually suck in bed or something? If that was the case though, Kiki probably would have left right after, or even during. So that couldn’t be it. So what was it?

Though he was trying to keep them at bay, Yves felt his walls begin to rebuild themselves, go right back up even though he did such a good job at making them crumble down last night. He knew that all of this was somehow his own fault but didn’t know what all of this was, didn’t know what the fuck was going on. So when in doubt, his defenses automatically went up to protect him from whatever outside force was deemed a threat. There was no threat here, but in his confusion, his mind became defensive.

”Bullshit,” he muttered to himself when the other got up and disappeared, claiming tiredness. In a book full of stupid excuses, that one would be on the very first page. Though yet again, Yves didn’t say or do anything to stop Kiki from leaving. Instead he sat up and stretched his arms above his head, hearing his joints and bones crack as he did so. Then he dropped his arms to his lap and simply just stared at the floor.

Kiki’s words broke him out of his floor stare down, causing him to jump so violently in surprise that the mattress squeaked. And since when did he ever get taken by surprise? This was something new. His head turned to the right, looking over at the bathroom for the first time since their cocoon of warmth and security had been ripped open.

And what a sight that was.

No, not the tears or the way Kiki was about to break his sink, but the hair. It looked like several birds had made a nest in it overnight. Yves was sure his own looked similar given they both slept on wet hair after a shower, but his was much shorter compared to Kiki’s. And if there was one thing Yves cared about a lot, it was presentation. Hair was part of presentation which is why seeing hair so tangled practically caused him physical pain.

Swallowing down the immense trepidation that threatened to overtake him, he stood from the bed and made his way over to the bathroom. Pushing open the door, he acted as if he owned the place, which he kind of did. Reaching over to grab his hairbrush off the vanity, Yves froze when he caught sight of two things in the mirror. One was himself, or more like his neck and chest. It looked like he’d been attacked by a vacuum or chainsaw with all of the hickeys littered over his skin. The second was the tears.

Yes, he knew Kiki was crying before he even made it into the bathroom, but he didn't realize it was this much. Yves didn’t do tears. Didn’t do tears, didn’t do whining, didn’t do crying. With anyone else he’d have simply walked away or kicked them out the second he saw this many tears. But something kept him rooted to the spot, kept him from opening his mouth and saying the words. Clearing his throat and internally bracing himself for the next few minutes of dealing with his own personal hell, his fingers closed around the handle of the hairbrush and he stepped behind Kiki.

”Speaking of hair,” he began, beginning to run the brush through the tangled strands and trying his best to be as gentle as possible, ”yours is a mess.” He kept his tone light, obviously trying to avoid the major elephant in the room. Since he had no idea what to say or do about the tears, he decided it was best to ignore them and pretend they didn't exist. For now, that is. All he could do right now was to continue to run the brush through the tangled hair and try his absolute hardest to soften the hardened look that appeared in his eyes ever since the walls went back up moments ago.

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[boo.]

kiki.

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The mattress squeaked and Kiki squeezed his eyes shut. It would be easier if he didn't have to see Yves when he told him to get the fuck out of his house. His barefooted steps tracked quietly over the cold floor, coming closer, and when he could hear the other man practically on top of him, Kiki choked back a sob, his shoulder shuddering with the effort. Please, don't look at me. It's pathetic, I know. You don't have to tell me. Hot tears leaked from beneath thick lashes and crawled down his neck, leaving the ghost of a sensation in their wake, reminding him of how pitiful he must have looked, breaking down in the bathroom, Yves's judgmental stare no doubt boring into him. If I was any more of a man, I'd be able to look him in the eye, but I know that if I look at him, I'll...

What, cry? Too late for that.

Something tugged on his hair and he jerked forward, bleary eyes flashing open to see his reflection, watery through his tears, Yves standing just behind him with a comb in one hand and the other teasing through a tangled strand of hair. Dark eyes went impossibly wide, nearly horrified as he realized what Yves was doing to him, and he almost pulled away. Wanted to. Hated this... intimacy, the hypocrisy of gentleness, as if everything that happened yesterday was nothing more than a bad dream, as if the man Kiki knew had been replaced with another entirely.

This isn't Yves. He would never. He hates... me. Hates this.

That was what broke Kiki.

Hands were plastered against his face and a sob broke through audibly, and his head jerked forward, hanging to his chest, shame stabbing through him like a white-hot blade, making the blood rush in his ears, so that the only thing he could really hear was himself, crying. The tears came freely now, coaxed out by gentle fingers that contradicted everything Kiki thought he knew about Yves, the comb dragged through carefully as though each strand of hair was deserving of his attention, as if Kiki was worth something to him. It was a lie and Kiki knew it and he hated that Yves would do this to him, plant a hope that wasn't there, make him want to forget the words they'd exchanged yesterday in the rain.

He could only take so much.

"Sto—op!"

Kiki wailed, reaching back to chase Yves's hands from his hair and lurching away, falling against the wall and keeping his back to the other man, ashamed to face him. His arms wrapped tightly around his bare chest as if to give some comfort, but he felt utterly alone, terrified and not really knowing why, frustrated at his tears but unable to keep them from falling, angry at himself and wishing he knew how to stop this, because it was childish and stupid and why was he crying?

"I just—I can't, I can't, you're killing me, Yves, I don't know what's wrong! It's so—"

His breath hitched and he whimpered, like a sigh of wind that carried a sheet of cold rain.

"I don't understand what you want! I feel like—you're dragging me back and forth and it hurts! I thought I could—push through it but I can't—Jesus—"

Sniffing pitifully, he pressed his knuckles into his eyes until he saw spots. Yves probably wasn't even listening. He'd probably left the bathroom. God, why had he started touching his hair? What did he want? Was he really so cruel as to toy with Kiki's emotions like that?

He needed to believe otherwise.

"Just—tell me what I am. To you. Everything that happened—I don't—understand, and I got carried away, and I was just—God, you were right, I was just so desperate to—to be with you that—"

Kiki's voice wobbled, threatening another wave of tears.

"After everything you told me yesterday—why—why aren't you telling me to leave? Don't you—"

"—hate me?"

frost

path

♡coded by uxie♡

 

[dreamglow]

scroll

the warrior

yves

mood

very much hurt

outfit

this

location

town hall

tags

boo.

Take What You Want

one ok rock

Though the hand intended to just knock the hairbrush away, it made contact with Yves’s shoulder and ended up shoving him away, hard. He went stumbling straight into the shower, managing to catch himself at the last minute in order to prevent a major crash. However, it seemed like he'd sacrificed both of his shins by the feeling in them and also now had a big headache since his head had nailed the tiles before he was able to throw a hand out to hold his body up.

He kept his face on the tiles, eyes shut and jaw clenched from the pain emanating from his shins and head. He didn’t care about Kiki knowing he was in pain. No. He kept his gaze fixed determinedly away in order to avoid the tears that were now falling heavily down the other’s cheeks. Call him a coward. He knew he was.

He stayed silent throughout the entire outburst. “You’re—“ he started, but then completely stopped since he had no idea what Kiki actually was to him. And wait. What did he say yesterday? It was then he remembered the interrupted surfing and screaming session turned into angry make out in the rain. Right. “Look, I’m sorry for saying all of that,” For once, he was swallowing his pride and apologizing. “I was upset about my surfing being interrupted and then getting sneezed on and it all just. . . came out. But I don’t hate you.”

Not knowing what else to do or say, he exited the bathroom and crawled back into bed, intent on sleeping away the rest of the day and forgetting this morning ever happened.

• ───────────────── •​

Slippery rocks. Rotten, broken branches. Bits and pieces of his disastrous drunken night had started to flash in Yves mind a few days after the incident happened, an incident that had left him in considerable pain and a very, very angry attitude. He had one (1) drink, only with the intentions of forgetting about the morning (and pretty much everything) with Kiki. Except that single drink turned to several and before he knew it, Yves was completely black out and woke up the next morning on the floor of his house. How he got there or what transpired that night, he didn’t know. But what he did know was that he had immense pain on the left side of his rib cage. Lifting his shirt up revealed a deep purple bruise the size of a soccer ball and after prodding the bruise with his fingertips, probable cracked ribs. Fantastic.

After shakily getting to his feet, he hobbled over to the dresser drawer he used as his “medical drawer” and pulled out a standard cotton wrap. Since he refused to go to a doctor or healer under any circumstances, this would have to do. So, gritting his teeth, he began to wrap the injury as tight as he could stand. Then, after drawing the curtains and locking the door, it was straight to bed. The next day he woke up with hunger gnawing at his stomach but after trying to eat an apple, discovered that eating caused too much pain. So he cracked open a can of soup he kept for reasons like this, drank half of it, and was back to sleep within minutes.

Day three of the cracked ribs proved slightly better than day one but still came with pain. Yves undid the wrap to see that the bruise had gone from a deep purple to a lighter purple with green and yellow tinged at the edges. A decent improvement, he thought. Sleeping uninterrupted for three days definitely worked wonders for injuries, or bruises maybe since his ribs still hurt like fuck and probably would for a while. As he began to rewrap his ribs, he was reminded that today he had a meeting with the others involved with the protection of the island, a meeting he knew almost every islander would attend since it involved their security. Normally, he wouldn’t give two shits, but it might bring about the presence of someone he wasn’t ready to see.

When his alarm went off, he awoke and, ignoring the pain, walked over to his dresser, pulled on the first pair of jeans and shirt he could find, tied his hair up into a bun on top of his head and exited the bungalow. The walk to the place the meeting was being held at was excruciating and made his ribs feel like they were on fire. Gritting his teeth, he opened the doors of the town hall and walked to the front to join the other island protectors without saying a word.

Halfway through the meeting, Yves still had yet to say anything, so not in the mood to open his mouth. He let the others do the talking and stood back with his arms folded across his chest, letting his eyes wander. Against his better judgment, they lingered on one person in particular, studying him closely before continuing on. But finally, he was forced to speak and took a step forward to do so. “I don’t see there being anything wrong with increasing security measures. Could do foot patrols, vehicular drive arounds, and even increase cybersecurity. Anything that gives us a more secure sense of livelihood, I’m here for.”

He stepped back again once he finished speaking, waiting to hear the voice that would signify dismissal. He hoped it would be very soon because the pain in his ribs seemed to have doubled throughout the duration of the meeting and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could stand up here. He also wasn’t sure how much longer he could fight this exhaustion battle and knew he needed sleep very soon. Though given the prominent bags under his eyes, it was easy to see just how exhausted he was. If he were to yawn, perhaps it would be forgiven. Anyways, pray for him and Kiki, save him.

♡coded by uxie♡