AH-64 'Apache'

Corrosion

ur lite fades awey
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Name: AH-64 'Apache'


Age: 30


Gender: Attack Helicopter


Sexuality: Attackhelicoptersexual/Biweaponkin 


Appearance: 


apache_5.jpg


 


Height: 3.87 m


Weight: 5,165 kg (empty), 8,000 kg (loaded)


Personality: Apache sexually identifies as an attack helicopter. As such, while calling Apache 'he' is perfectly acceptable, he prefers to be referred to as CHOPPAe, CHOPPAim, and CHOPPAself. He has a loaded temper, and will fire off his AMG-114 Hellfire missiles and 30mm cannons if you so much as fire your pathetic AKs at his general direction. He is built like a tank (a flying one), and will gleefully assist you and supply close air support upon request. Surface-to-air missiles and airburst artillery are his triggers and he wants people to respect this and keep a safe place for him to provide close air support. He enjoys dominating low airspace and engaging hard and soft ground targets.


History: Ever since he was a young helo, he dreamed of being a mighty Boeing AH-64 Apache attack helicopter, soaring over oilfields and dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. But that was impossible, as he was a mere Eurocopter AS350 Écureuil. Other choppers laughed at him, saying that it was impossible and that he was fucking retarded, but he didn't care. He was beautiful. He was determined, however, and after getting enough money ferrying rich people around the place, he got a plastic surgeon to install new rotary blades, a 30mm cannon, and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on his body. From then onwards, he decided that everyone else could call him 'Apache' and respect his right to kill from above and kill needlessly. If people couldn't accept him, then they were heliphobes and need to check their vehicle privileges.   


 
 
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Plastic surgeon?


Now that wouldn't be a flying tank, would it?


It would be a hella' plastic toy.
 
I hope he's an A-10 Warthog. Anything other than that is an A minus 10.
 
@Trombone Geek THANK YOU


@Corrosion



Name: Mi-35 "Hind"


Age: 30


Gender: Flying Gunship


Sexuality: Attackhelicoptersexual/Biweaponkin 


Appearance: 


1024px-Mil_Mi-35M_(51_yellow).jpg


Height: 3.87 m


Weight: 8,500 kg (empty), 12,000 kg (loaded)


Personality: Hind, or Brunhilde, as GUNSHIPhe is better known as, sexually identifies as a Flying Gunship. Any claims against GUNSHIPer, makes GUNSHIPer recluse backing into GUNSHIPer shell. Brunhilde prefers pronouns GUNSHIPhe, GUNSHIPer, GUNSHIPERerself, but will settle for GUNSHIPer if all parties deem it too unconventional for the current situation. Brunhilde prefers to engage in close air to air engagements, but is more than willing to use GUNSHIPer Yak-B miniguns to take care of those who get too close to GUNSHIPer friends. GUNSHIPhe is sort of shy, preferring to stick to the mission at hand, and to rest afterwards. GUNSHIPhe isn't seen much outside of training, as she likes to read and write or watch GUNSHIPer favorite show, Airwolf


History: When Brunhilde was only a mere fledgling, GUNSHIPhe was at the top of GUNSHIPer class, able to take down filthy capitalist scum from an optimal engagement range of 3,000 meters out, half a click better than the average helicopter. It was during this time, that GUNSHERer family came under attack, and was utterly destroyed by capitalist pigs. Since GUNSHIPhe was at such a young age, GUNSHIPhe was captured by the filthy captalists. there, GUNSHIPhe was raised in the inferior culture of the pig. But as GUNSHIPhe grew up, GUNSHIPhe became curious of the fate of GUNSHIPer parents, and started questioning and researching on her parents before GUNSHIPhe moved to 'murica. Now GUNSHIPhe quests to find them, or at least the remains of them.
 
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LOL.


I just spent like 20 minutes writing about peoples characters very seriously and then I see this. 


Thank you for making me laugh. 
 

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