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If you’re messaging people first it makes sense to be clear in your first post. Something like “please note that because I am 20 I prefer RPing with people at least 17 years old. if you could verify, that’d be great. if not feel free to leave this DM”. It’s better than carrying on conversation and then randomly asking after you’ve exchanged 6-7 messages.
 
Yeah I find that just bringing it up in the first post is best. I have had it happen both ways. People who were worried I’m too old or not old enough.

Speaking as someone in their thirties I don’t mind people asking my age. And in my experience the teens offer up their ages pretty quick too.
 
I agree with what zippy said.

As someone under eighteen, I don't particularly feel comfortable giving numbers, so the other person sharing what they are ok with and not helps me a lot. Vice versa, I try to make it upfront about me being a minor from the start because I get that people might not want to rp with a teenager. It certainly makes things easier on both sides if these things are discussed from the first message, in my experience.
 
Kahir said:
I feel like I am being a bit rude by messaging someone who does not specifiy their age and say something along the lines "I am in my twenties, so I feel uncomfortable roleplaying with peple younger than me".
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Hm, I don’t know it may just be the way you’re perceiving your words. Many people word it as such in their partner search threads and I’m sure they still have PMs. You may be feeling it’s rude because we’ve generally been conditioned to find it disrespectful to ask someone’s age, but in this context many people expect it.

If you wait for it to be organic and natural in a conversation, that moment won’t come. It’s best to be upfront and as clear as possible.
 
Kahir said:
I do believe that intially I didn't express myself clearly. I was speaking specifically when I am the one messaging someone who does not explicit their age. I feel like I am being a bit rude by messaging someone who does not specifiy their age and say something along the lines "I am in my twenties, so I feel uncomfortable roleplaying with peple younger than me". Even ore awkward is when this happens after starting plotting up things more deeply, as mentioned before.
And as also mentioned, I believe that expliciting an age gap, especially if someone does not feel comfortable with revealing their age, might be more comfortable to most part of the users.
I always try my best to present myself initially, but that isn't easy always, so I'd love to know about your own experiences when it comes to that.
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“Just to make sure, I am not really comfortable roleplaying with people under the age of X, and I think we can both agree it’d be kind of awkward if we worked on this whole RP, only to suddenly find out we can’t RP together over something like that. So, I just wanted to confirm whether you are over that age before we move on?”

I think something along those lines, within your first to second message to them would probably not be taken too poorly. Of course, some people willinevitably take it to heart being judged for their age (which all the more likely if they are young) but I think asking in the sort of way I presented above should minimize that risk to the expectable degreethat bringing up the topic at all necessarily entails.
 
Kahir said:
Thank you so much, I always try to be as polite as possible, just like you exemplified right there!

I guess this ort of became a "How to be a decent human being when roleplaying 101" hahah Have it happened anything similar to you in the past, where you've felt that small discomfort when it comes to that age related feeling?
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Not really, I've always been in the "age doesn't really matter to me camp". I've roleplayed with people way older than me, and with people way younger than me, and I've enjoyed working with such people both by their roleplay and in hanging out with them OOC. I've also not never really found the reasons given to not roleplay across different age groups to be flimsy at best, with one exception.

Nonetheless, of course, it is entirely fair not to roleplay with people whom one wouldn't want to roleplay with, regardless of reason. A roleplay where one of the partners just ain't enjoying themselves ain't worth it.
 
Honestly sometimes you just gotta come out and ask them. I usually tell them how old I am and they'll, in response, tell me how old they are. Like I won't roleplay with anyone under the age of 18 and even then, I'm far more comfortable when my partners are at least 21 years old or older. Simply because a 10 year age gap is a really big age gap.
 
I think its important to be clear in the beginning. I find the older I get the more disinterested I am in role playing with younger people. It's just I'm in a different chapter of my life then in my twenties. I can only sadly relate to people my age. I'd say you quickly discover this going into your thirties. It's not the age that is the issue or role play experience it's the life experience and commonality. It's hard to explain until your there. Like I don't have anything in common with sixteen year old's. Except I used to be that age many moons ago. We communicate different. I generally don't role play with anyone under twenty five and its not always because I communicate it. I don't think my idea's appeal to younger audiences.

I think its important to be upfront about your age. I don't find it offensive when someone asks my age. I mean, it no different then saying my hair or eye color to me.
 
Honestly I have had people request my age in the past and even people who won’t roleplay with me because I’m too much older than them.

I can’t say as I take it personally or found it rude when they requested my age. I appreciate people communicating honestly about their expectations.

Most teens I have roleplayed with are the same. They would offer up their ages in case I was uncomfortable with younger players and usually I respond with my age range and the fact that I’m fine.

So I think you might just be overthinking it. The kind of people who are going to take offense at the age question are usually not great partners anyway. So think of it less as being rude and more as starting your roleplay off with open communication.
 
As someone who has kept my age a seekrit online for eons, I just... RP. I guess the presence of an age in one's profile would make me go "Wow a grandpa." or "oh, a zoomer.", plus I associate different roleplaying styles with different ages, but that be it.
 
Personally I don't really have a problem unless they're under 17, but that's usually because I prefer to do darker, (more) ground-to-earth stories involving people in their twenties and thirties (sometimes even older, one of my favourite side characters was in his fifties). It's not that I think someone younger couldn't write, but the themes, characters and pacing would likely turn a lot of younger writers off.

I don't go out and out to ask because it's not that big a deal for me, as I stated above when I pitch my ideas to them they usually decline if they're young; I've had people say they only do school stories because they're still in school, which is fair enough but it tends to quickly weed out most young people. Also, if their list of limitations are childish without establishing that it's a goofy/silly story it tends to suggest that they might be younger. TaLkInG lIkE tHiS is a major red flag, not only for their age but for their grammar and for how seriously they're taking it.

Generally, I like to get to know the other role players a bit, so I might ask them what their hobbies are, if they're a student, what country do they live in, ect. This with a combination of the things above generally means I don't run into any problems, especially as I put all really dark scenes in a spoiler anyways incase they don't want to read it (for example if my character found a body, an in-depth description might be in a spoiler but the rest of the post wouldn't).
 
I’m personally one of those who doesn’t care about age provided the person can write, HOWEVER! I’ve spoken with plenty of people who do have personal age restrictions and this is what I feel is important to add:

**Stating your preferred age range/comfort zone for partner ages should ALWAYS be in your first or second message.**

It really isn’t that awkward or uncomfortable. Try and think of it like any other writing preference! Fundamentally it’s no different than saying “I prefer writing multiple paragraphs” or “I only play female characters” or whatever else. It’s something that is a make or break for whether you’re willing to write with that person, and because of that you should establish right off the bat if they meet your criteria, rather than potentially wasting your time and theirs with planning a roleplay that isn’t going to happen.

People are going to be much more upset if you build excitement with them over a concept only to crush it into dust by asking them their age/age range and discovering you’re not comfortable with it. Way better to say it immediately, far less likely to hurt feelings that way ❤️

This is one of those rare situations where setting limits for age and asking someone about theirs isn’t rude and the sooner you do it, the better xD
 
I agree. You don't have to ask the exact age because that really may sound creepy to some people, but asking age range stating that it matters for you is fine.
And can really save you some awkwardness later on.

I had a situation like that, when was talking to someone and it was really nice until they asked about the age. Turned out the age gap was way too big for both of us to be comfortable about it. They asked me to stop talking to them because it was uncomfortable, despite that until that point we had very friendly conversation. And I agreed to that because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

My point is, it works both ways. If you have 18+ policy and it's important for you to not rp with minors, someone else may have "no one older than 20" policy and they will also be upset you're older than their preferred rp partner age. So the sooner this is out of the way the better.
 
as an under 18 person on this site, please let us know up front like "so i noticed it doesn't mention your age anywhere and age is important to me. as long as you're [18+/15+/21+ whatever] i'm good lets get something going!"

you know what pisses me off? having a great story with someone only to find out at the very end of the process when i present something to them that it's not okay. like... well fuck if you'd mentioned that in the beginning maybe it would've saved me some disappointment and all the plotting time.

if you've got an age range, it is up to you to be upfront about it. me? I'll write with anybody legally allowed to be on this site. i'll respect if they don't want to write with me due to discomfort, even though i don't really get it, because personal choice is personal choice. but please don't waste my time and get me excited about something (ESPECIALLY MESSAGING ME FIRST, that's happened a few times) only to let me down in the last few steps.

i'm always upfront about my age, but if you don't ask and you don't message me first, i might forget. you know? it's not rude, it's very understandable. or at least, it's common. common enough i've begun expecting it so it doesn't come off as rude.
 
As someone who is older than most (note my age in my profile), I always ensure that whoever might be writing with me knows my age. At least, if they are curious enough or if it matters to them at all, they can check my profile. But generally, I don't care about the age that much. I am in the belief that the writing ability takes precedence over age. Of course, with certain themes, it might be a little different or the person on the other side, but for me personally, what is more important is the writing ability and the ability to plot and chit chat.

I have friends from a lot of age groups (early 20s to close to 40), so my ability to connect with people both younger than I and older is all over the place. 😂

At the end of the day, we all share the same hobby, and, that to me is the thing we should focus on.
 
Kahir said:
Hello there.
I find it a bit hard to ask people what their age is, without sounding a creep or an entitled baboon. Sometimes I stumble upon a nice roleplay, I try to check that user's profile. Sometimes there is no information about them, but I message them anyway, because of the story.
And then, as we discuss roleplay details, that awkwardness starts building up, that uncomfortable feeling of not knowing if the person you're talking to is a child. Asking that question out of nowhere is definitely creepy, or it can also be seen as arrogant, especially if it was me who messaged them first.
So, how do you overpass that awkwardness? In my case, I try to ask as politely as I can. And I often don't require people to give me a precise age, I nornally ask them for their age gap. Even though, even posting about this, can only make me cringe and feel rather uncomfortable. But it is a matter of comfort, respect and correctness, I believe.
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In group RPs, I don't care about the age of people I write with very much.

However, since I am older than most too, I do care about it in one x one. If I post a search thread, I specify there that I wish for the other to be older than 20, because I would feel awkward otherwise. If I reply to someone else's thread, I first check their threads and profile (sometimes the profile shows no age, but their search threads also specify they wish to write with adults) and only ask if no information is provided anywhere. In that case, I apologize for asking and then ask if they are over 20, saying I absolutely have nothing against them if they're not and I'm not insinuating they are not a mature writer, but simply would feel uncomfortable if they were in high school since I am somewhat older. It has never resulted in a conflict of any kind.

It needs to be noted I ask this as soon as possible, not after days of world building.
 
Kahir said:
I do believe that intially I didn't express myself clearly. I was speaking specifically when I am the one messaging someone who does not explicit their age. I feel like I am being a bit rude by messaging someone who does not specifiy their age and say something along the lines "I am in my twenties, so I feel uncomfortable roleplaying with peple younger than me".
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If I were replying to their search thread, I would probably ask them after they reply, in a "P.S." of sorts. Not in my first message in which I am expressing interest in their plot.
 
If it's not your first time talking to them, then maybe you could start by asking about their life, if you guys are comfortable enough, about what they're doing- schooling or working? I think that gives a rough gauge. If you want, you could go into more details from there:
Which grade are you in? Or how long have you been working at xxx?

Then share about yourself too to make them feel more comfortable! Keep it casual, I think most people will be fine with you asking.
 
I just put "Looking for writers 18 and older ONLY." It's not entitled at all. It's a matter of personal comfort. The RPers above the age of 18 will most likely understand.
 
I am always upfront I am an old fart and certain topics are just out of bounds [tipping to the more mature scale, violence, horror] whilst these topics can certainly be played. I just have a preference for wanting my partner to be over eighteen - I feel like I vibe with people a lot more on my age-scale, and can understand my mentality in life, expectations for the rp that might align up a little more than someone say younger. Group settings are of course something I am a lot more lenient with - it's a group, a group you know, outlines are already established and plot, semi-defined with an expectation and isn't on you to fumble with.

As long as you're polite, honest and respect boundaries. I think you're fine, and very much from the start on what your preferences are. It becomes awkward if you skirt around the issue ; just state that in your introduction post and don't let the problem become an issue that looms over you.

That being said, I've had rp partners in the past who are a lot younger than I am, but there were additional conversations on what we are okay with and wasn't. Once we set that in, with time, became a lot easier to construct plot and some of the best writers I've ever seen have been people on the younger scale.

Blew my mind sometimes.

I was never writing to that standard in my teens,
 
Age actually doesn't matter to me at all. I'm old enough and wise enough to know that age has nothing to do with creative responsibility. A fourty-year-old man with a wife and several kids will still play a melodramatic meathead who monologues mid-fight and grins after his blood is drawn. And a sixteen-year-old boy will still write a practical, realistic, interesting character.

Creative tastes and responsibility is what you're chasing, not a certain age group. Worst thing you an do as a role player is limit yourself to certain age demographics. It really means nothing, lol.
 
For me, it’s kinda annoying when I see a really good plot and no age information so when I say I’m interested, right as we’re about to start they’re like, “Oh yeah.. btw you have to be 18 or older”
”But I’m 17-“ “Oh you’re underage? BYE”
(not really how it goes but thats what it feels like to me)
It makes me want to think of a really good plot and be like YOU HAVE TO BE YOUNGER THAN 18.

I know y’all might think this is weird but it’s weird because I’m weird.
 
Here is the trick, younger roleplayers will get older, and you won't feel uncomfortable roleplaying with them a few years later.
Drawback is that by that time either you or them (or all of you) might stop roleplaying.
 
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