Advice/Help Abandonment

[Rareraven]

Can someone please tell me what to do when after so many people had abandoned you during a rp? I’ve been on like several sites and it’s all the same people just forget you! No matter what they just up and leave and it makes me feel like my writing skills are becoming rusty if I don’t keep actively rping. Also my creative soul is dying. I could write fanfics but it’s no fun writing all all the chracters when I know what may happen. I’m not meaning to rant here but I’m not sure where I belong for rping anymore.

 

[Vertex]

Move on. You can't make people stay in a roleplay, it's just how things are. You have partners that will remain with you then you have some who don't. It can be annoying but I wouldn't let it bother you so much to question your writing skills.

 

[Chordling]

Take a break, if you need it. Roleplaying is just a hobby. Don't let it stress you out.

 

[Merciless Medic]

I rarely find people who stay for the entire RP and I find myself leaving RPs because of irl obligations and I can't stay. Sometimes I ghost due to forgetting to tell them, too or if my anxiety is particularly acting up. People abandon RPs all the time and it takes time and patience to find one who you mesh well with and stay with you for years. I would suggest taking a break from RPing and doing something else for a while before getting back into it with a better frame of mind. RP is a hobby and this is sadly a part of the hobby that hurts (it's like having a paintball fight as a hobby, but hating the pain it causes when you get hit with a paintball being shot from a paintball gun). Just stick through it.

 

[Onmyoji]

Move on or take a break. Not much else you can do. People disappearing is literally a part of the hobby and in most cases it's not your fault. Real life taking priority is what kills my roleplays 99% of the time, maybe 1% due to partner incompatibility and other factors.
The only thing you can do is change your attitude to that. If it's stressing you out, then maybe taking a break would be a better option.
If possible, try to build up relationships outside of roleplaying, because roleplaying with friends is less likely to end up with ghosting.

 

[Idea]

Unfortunately, ghosting is just a part of RPing, by what all evidence seems to suggest. Rather than simply attempting to avoid it, learning to cope with it is a better strategy. There isn't a single strategy that works for everyone though, one had to find something that works for them personally. It might be taking a break as some have suggested here, in my case it's making sure that whatever I make has value by itself so that I can feel I never wasted my time making it, and to others there are surely more methods yet. And ultimately, though this is not something I like saying, sometimes not every hobby is made for everyone. It's important that in a hobby you have fun, or at the very least you feel you enjoy it more than what it takes from you. Hopefully RP, even despite the ghosting, is one such hobby.

 

[Stone Cold]

Group role-plays may help if you’re looking for multiple people to write with. I personally find one on one roleplays more of my speed. But if your partners are often leaving try joining a group, there’s a greater chance that one or two other people are eager to write and stay.

Maybe even venture into creating Quest RPs, if you wanted to have more control over the writing, but still have some interaction with other people/an audience. They could give you feedback on how to direct the story so you’re still able to practice your writing skills.

Otherwise, it comes down to acceptance that all people will leave eventually. Nothing stays even in RP. Interests declines. Life circumstances change. Stories end. The actions of the other party are out of your control so try not to take it personally. Keep trying and keep your head up.

 

[AccioProphecy]

That stings doesn't it? Specially if you were particularly attached to that RP.
Being ghosted is one thing but being ghosted AND seeing the other person still posting around looking for a partner and still active on the other RPs (I'm not saying it's bad to look for multiple partners, I have several myself) BUT they didn't even give you an explanation and didn't even grace you with a reply.
Welp, fact is, they don't owe you an explanation. I think the best I can do is to not be the same type of person as them.
If I leave or abandon an RP I say exactly what it is that made me leave and why. (It's a bit like closure)

But over time I think it's better to learn how to not take it personally. It happens. Like what other people said RPing is a hobby. For me I can compare it to playing a game console. I can't do it forever, because of several different things. And I also don't play all games until I finish it. I only really finish a game if I'm REALLY into it, and that takes a special kind of game.

Just like an RP, it takes a special kind of RP and partner to play it out till the end (Shoutout to AiAi , possibly my RP soul mate XD for sticking with me even though I was so on and off)

 

[GojiBean]

Can someone please tell me what to do when after so many people had abandoned you during a rp? I’ve been on like several sites and it’s all the same people just forget you! No matter what they just up and leave and it makes me feel like my writing skills are becoming rusty if I don’t keep actively rping. Also my creative soul is dying. I could write fanfics but it’s no fun writing all all the chracters when I know what may happen. I’m not meaning to rant here but I’m not sure where I belong for rping anymore.

It's a sad reality of role-playing that inevitably there are those who will get involved, lose interest after a while, and then just disappear. It happened to me not very long ago with someone I'd known for years and considered a good friend if that gives any indication of just how far this can go. We weren't having any spats or issues. They just stopped talking to me (and a few other friends we had in common) and disappeared from the face of the Earth. We could see them online and posting with other groups though. So they abandoned us for... Reasons? I guess?

Unfortunately it's inevitable. Human beings are creatures of habit and seekers of momentary satisfaction.

Some people become role-players because they don't even realize what kind of storyteller they actually are. Many role-players get uber excited about making a character for a specific role-play, post for a week or two, and then lose interest. Why? It wasn't the character. And it probably wasn't even the role-play.

More than likely it's because they're the type of storyteller who gets more of a kick and more of a personal high when creating characters and backstories. They're less of a "writer" and more of a character concept creator or artist. But they role-play because they don't even realize this about themselves and are on a never-ending quest to reach that personal high that comes from character creation and exploring them just long enough to get the best idea of who they are, and then they have the silent urge to move on to the next and they just up and abandon that last one and the RP the were in.

So what can we do when people walk away from the RP's we are in?

Well... Vertex said it best: Move on.

They left, and that's that. It likely wasn't personal. In fact it's almost guaranteed not to be unless you know it was personal because you got into some kind of spat with them and then they left citing that as the reason (or it's heavily implied to be the reason in their last message to you). They simply lost interest, or life got in the way.

Just accept it and either move on to the next experience or invite others to join and fill the gap if the RP is the kind that can sustain new additions over time.

I've been role-playing for a little over 20 years now and I've only ever had about 4 or 5 RP's see themselves through to completion. I know it's not my writing. And I know it's not me as a person. It's just the nature of role-playing. No matter how attached you are to a specific RP idea or character(s), other people simply can't be held to the same standard (if that's the right word) as you hold yourself when you have that burning desire to see it through to the end because you're that excited and eager to do so.

The best advice I can give is to take the RP idea and start fresh. And don't give up on that idea. Ever.

I'm in the process of writing my first novel because I came up with an idea back in 2009 and never let go of it despite all of the failed RP attempts over the years which were part of my process for testing the story, characters, and worldbuilding. Literally hundreds of role-players have been part of the experience along the way. But all of them, save one or two, have long since forgotten it and forgotten me.

So hold onto your ideas and soldier on. People are going to come and go from your life and your RP's. It's inevitable. Accept it, and use it as fuel to get farther with the next group. Because you never know where that persistence can lead you or the ideas you've come up with.