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Your opponent says “screw the rules, I have money” and attacks your life points directly with their fists. I attempt to scoop ice cream, but I roll a 1.

It’s not the super secret government facility that everyone knows about where they’re hiding “the aliens” or stuff like that, it’s the super secret government facility that no one knows about. I doubt that the armed citizenry would be too up in arms with a bunch of idiots getting themselves...

You fall asleep before the first episode ends. I've fallen and I can't get up, but I roll a 1.

It’s a white coat and you bleed on it although you didn’t know you were even injured before somehow, and it looks like you murdered someone. I drive the speed limit past a cop, but roll a 1.

Just wanted to let everyone know that I am still here and haven’t dropped off the face of the earth! I know I’ve been procrastinating on the gas station post here. I hope to have it up ASAP!

You end up saying “I get hard like Caesar’s bard” near a group of old ladies fluent in Latin. I watch a food review on YouTube, but roll a 1.

You inadvertently dislocate their jaw. I attempt to dip a chip in salsa.

Welcome back aboard

A photograph of you accompanies the definition of "insane" in the dictionary. I attempt to take my wallet out of my pocket, but roll a 1.

You end up signing up for terrible/hard classes you aren’t required to take. I attempt to knock over my friend’s impressive house of cards, but roll a 1

As far as books go, Augustus (Gus) McCrae's death in Lonesome Dove hit me for sure, harder than any other book character death. In my first playthrough of the game FarCry 2, I worked a lot with Quarbani Singh, but at the end of one mission, he went down. I had one syringe left, and once the...

I present a lengthy article (which I haven't even fully read) on the Antikythera Mechanism, sometimes billed as an ancient 'computer' developed in ancient Greece: Antikythera mechanism - Wikipedia Maybe a little frightening to think about: Kessler syndrome - Wikipedia

Plot twist, it was the bathtub, not the bed. I greet the boss with the usual "mornin'" as I walk into work, but roll a 1.

She screams and pepper sprays you. I remember almost my entire work wardrobe is in the laundry, but I roll a 1.

You accidentally type out a grave Freudian slip which causes many friends and acquaintances to question if they really knew you. I attempt to open a bottle of beer, but roll a 1.

You get plagued by my internet (which has been cutting out more often than it's working, lately). I order pizza, but roll a 1.

You pour drinks for yourself and your victim, of course with the intention to poison their drink. You hand the victim the wrong one, but when you’re not looking, they switch it. You become suspicious that they switched them, believing that they gave you the poisoned one when in reality they...

What is your preferred salsa consistency? As in the fineness or chunkiness of the tomatoes/ingredients, and amount of liquid.

Why do things that are bad for you taste so right?

Why do things that are bad for you taste so good? So wrong, yet so right.