MrEvilMexican

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About MrEvilMexican

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  1. *FOURTH WALL BREAK!!!* Gil, this is a parody, logic doesn't need to apply here. Remember in Carnival Phantasm when all of Archer's projectiles somehow missed you, even though there were millions of them? And remember how Cu-Chulainn could be thrown by Berserker as an Anti-Unit Noble Phantasm? Enkidu reminded Gilgamesh... ---PAUSE--- /servantfourthwallbreaklv1=off ---CONTINUE--- Enkidu climbed aboard Gil's golden ship thing that can somehow fly at light speed even though it's made of pure gold and gold can't fly. He pulled out a map and showed it to Gil. Actually, we have a good half the world's population to ignore. He explained. Due to Trump's wall, we can't deliver the presents without the fat dumb amercans shoot guns at your majestic ship, Russia has banned all UFO's so they might fire rockets and dirty the ship, and finally, China's air is so terrible I'd prefer both of us to NOT breath that stuff in. So that's about half the world we have to do. He then pulled out a phone Noble Phantasm that can make calls through time and space and called Grand Lancer. Mall Santa #198,567,122, this is Santa Enkidu. How's you're side going? Gatekeeper just raided our factory, I need you to get to this time, AND NOW. @SomeStupidWords @Birdsie
  2. Thank you, then. I couldn't ask for anything more... ten years of service, I barely survived the first year... He muttered that last part to himself silently. A huge sack of presents suddenly appeared out of nowhere, using Chaldea fancy schmancy teleporting magicks. Enkidu opened the sack and showed all of the wrapped up presents to Gilgamesh. It's a mystic code... A sack that can hold an endless amount of presents, even without looking big and huge. I need you to load them all into your Gate of Babylon and fire them down every chimney you see. Wreck their roof if you have to. In fact, just shoot a hole in the roof. I don't even know where the chimneys lead. The fireplace, that's right. He passed the unusually light sack to Gilgamesh and sat down on Gil's sofa thing. Oh, and I also need you to beat up Iskandar until he gives you his chariot... It's the closest thing to a sled I can think of... @Birdsie
  3. @St Stare please posts Rider's summoning and reply to Noxx also just checking on Overseer @TaraSobiki
  4. Enkidu took a deep breath, and prepared to be laughed at. Weeeeeeell... While you were busy earning yourself a title as 'the most powerful heroic spirit,' I got assigned the position of GOD FORSAKEN SANTA. He almost seemed pissed, and who wouldn't be? I had to bloody morph into the shape of some fat old man and climb on a sleigh with a Rider servant... But GATEKEEPER decided to get Beast to raid the toy factory and... well... we don't have a sleigh OR rider, just a stack of presents. Enkidu was embarrassed to add on the last part, and he knew Gilgamesh wasn't too fond of christmas. But he couldn't think of another servant that can shoot presents into everyone's chimney's over the course of half a night... Gilgamesh, please help me... To SAVE CHRISTMAS. @Birdsie
  5. Beast actually wouldn't smell bad. (except for his nonexistant breath). But in this outfit, Beast would One-Shot gil. xD
  6. Green particles formed together inside Gil's room, and materialized into the shape of a certain long, green haired lancer with a ridiculous looking red cap and red coat, who was meant to be dead ages ago. Gilgamesh, there's no time to explain. Said Enkidu, dressed in the most ridiculous, embarrassing attire. We have a huge problem, Gatekeeper's doing, I'm afriad. @Birdsie
  7. i just realised im going to opera houth tomorrow
  8. they do
  9. no i meant for the Gil-Kun saves crhistams
  10. T'was the night before Christmas, and all was quiet. Saber was sleeping, after dinner, a-eating' Beast was hibernating, but Enki, was busy. The factory had been raided, and Rider was on strike. There was no delivery guy, and dark, was the sky. Enkidu panicked. No christmas, it shall be. Gatekeeper, smiled in glee. His work was done, he's had his fun, and now christmas, end in tatters. @Birdsie
  11. i'll make a 1x1 in the RP section
  12. RIP. That would be a hilarious parody
  13. Saber is already here @TaraSobiki He/she isn't very active though : P
  14. The speakers on Liam and Assasin's cruise went online. The captain spoke into the microphone. 'Ladies and gentlemen, we will be arriving on l-----' A defeaning roar rang throughout the entire cruise, followed by the Captain's screams of terror, and the sounds of limbs tearing from their sockets. A few moments later, a terrible creature, wrapped in masses of tentacles tore through the floor. Beast. It looked around the pathetic room, filled with panicking, disgusting humans. But they were not what the creature was after. He surveyed his surroundings, and finally spotted his target. A western man, who looked to be in his younger years, in some strange human outfit. Beast cared little about human clothing or why they even bothered covering their reproductive organs. OR why people think tentacles to be so.... well... you know... Assassin. He spoke the one word. An idiot had sneaked up behind Beast with a knife, and Beast grabbed he fool's head and crushed it. Blood and brain spilled all over the floor, and the headless man fell to the floor, blood still spilling out of his neck, which had been disconnected with his head. Pathetic. They die just by having a piece of them disconnected with the body. Perhaps a servant would pose a bigger challenge? Beast wasn't so sure. He guessed he'd kill the pathetic excuse for a servant with a single blow, maybe two, even. Beast took a stance on two legs and even bothered to cover the mass of orange bulbs on his right chest using the tendril on his chest as a shield to protect it. @Gabriel97 @Lazarus
  15. Name : Kaine Blackmire Race : 2/3 Human (formerly), 1/3 Voidborne, 2/3 Wraith (Voidborne are creatures born from the eternal darkness commonly known as the 'Void', an endless abyss, a dimension between dimensions. One can also become half-Voidborne by being bathed in that infinite darkness. If you manage to survive, that is) Age : 32 Alignment : Chaotic Good Appearance : Powers/Magic : -Umbramancy: The ability to manipulate the darkness itself, making it into spears and chains, to fire at opponents (like Gilgamesh and Lord Vile mashed into one ripoff) or form a protective barrier to protect himself. -Contract With The Eternal Darkness- He made a contract with a Voidborne demon, and if he should perish in battle, his soul will return to the Void and seek out a new suitable host (like a suit of armor, his old body if still usable [like he doesn't require any vital organs, just the limbs and stuff intact]) He can be destroyed through the use of Holy Magic or Necromancy or whatever magic that allows destorying or freeing one's soul -Cursed Sword Voidreaper- Wonds casued by Kaine's Cursed Sword Voidreaper negates all healing magic and can only be healed by the most powerful holy magic. However, once removed from the sheath, this sword will begin to drain the life force of it's user to power itself. Weapons : Cursed Sword Voidreaper 'Let my foes know the Void's fury.' Backstory (One paragraph is the minimum) : I am one with the eternal abyss. The darkness that destroys all, and in doing so, creates all. Humans are weak creatures, pathetic, useless. I learnt that years ago. Fell in battle, presumed dead. One among the most elite of Paladins, fell by the evil forces. 'Not faithful enough' they said, 'and so the light abandoned you' they said. I watched, as all shook their heads in disbelief. A devoted paladin, abandoned by the holy light. There is no such thing as the light rewarding the faithful. There is no 'holy light.' In my last dying breaths, I contracted with a creature, born from the darkness. I return to the living. I am the blade of the eternal abyss. Let justice upon the wicked be swift, and let their souls suffer, for all eternity! Personality : A quiet, and 'edgy' person, Kaine hardly ever cares at all what the consequences of his actions is. He is often serious, and fights in battle with efficiency. Underestimating his foes led to his original demise, and he's learnt his lesson. Even though a paladin in life, he no longer believes 'The Holy Light,' claiming it all to be an illusion, deceiving paladins to their own doom. He does believe that Ravus' mindset is wrong, but he despises the fact that he has to side with a 'disgusting, primitive animal.' Does your character believe in Alvin or Ravus? Alvin Theme song : www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhSA9H9Iaqw