pomme
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  • The Kr3mlin would like updates on ur space expedition to retrieve the remains of Oppy, NASAs orphaned child on Le Mars. Respond or the bears get it.
    pomme
    pomme
    noo.... i had too much wodka... broke oppy
    Hello there stranger; Happy birthday from Excelsium Cafe.
    M58KI15.png
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY POMME!!!!1!!1!1!2 LET YOUR FAMILY BAKE YOU A CAKE TODAY AND STUFF YOUR SPACE WORM CHEEKS WITH YUMMY DESSERTS

    Also I may or may not be in the process of drawing you a birthday thing but you didn't hear it from me
    pomme
    pomme
    i am virtually sending you cakes as we speak
    Khocolatte
    Khocolatte
    Omgagh

    Do you have.... Peanut butter cake??????
    pomme
    pomme
    ate it sorry maam.
    happy birthday bro
    what steam game you want
    giggity
    Khocolatte
    Khocolatte
    Get her the expansion pack for uhh.... Kitty Powers' Matchmaker
    I'm sure she'll love it for sure 💯💯
    pomme
    pomme
    bro i only play kitty power's matchmaker magical girl supreme pink glitter deluxe... how could u not know this
    Khocolatte
    Khocolatte
    My bad my bad... will ask the developers to make a rainbow unicorn sparkle ultimate DLC just for you
    I know ya may not want to see or read anything of me from now on, but I just wanted to send ya one last message and that'll be the last time.
    Keep at the piano-playing, the 'oul German and of course the figure-skating, but be mindful not to strain your leg again.
    Be sure to keep that schedule you were telling me about!
    You're one of the smartest buckos I know, and the world's your oyster.
    I had such an enjoyable time getting to know ya Pomme.
    Take care and please, mind yourself.
    See ya. 😊
    In a fight? Here is what you do, my friend.

    Bring your chin down to protect your neck while continuing to stare in his eyes. Bring up your hands and say "I don't want no trouble ya hear". Flex your traps and core. Slightly bend your knees.

    Here comes the important part. In a low voice begin to say "wolowolowolowolowolo" slowly increasing in volume. He should be surprised by now. Begin to sway side to side and loosen all facial muscles and your anal sphincter and your kegal muscle. By now you should be pretty loud and your opponent will have stepped back and appear visibly shaken.

    Begin to piss and shit yourself and let your eyes roll to the back of your head. By now, you're chanting "WOLOWOLOWOLOWOLO" at the top of your lungs.

    He will run away. Everyone within a one mile radius will feel a terrifying presence within their soul.

    Marvel as you ascend into your planar form.
    YOU'VE BETRAYED ME FOR THE LAST TIME. HAND OVER ALL THE FROGS YOU'VE CONFISCATED FROM ME.
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    pomme
    pomme
    i ate them i'm sorry......
    voracity
    voracity
    when google tells you to EAT THE FROGS, LAUREN that is a suggestion
    what did you not UNDERSTAND, JENNIFER?
    I'M GOING TO FIND KERO CHAN, YOU WENCH. YOU CAN'T STOP TRUE LOVE.
    nevermind the marriage certified we had to sign
    pomme
    pomme
    WHAT DO YOU MEAN LOVE YOU THREATENED HER LIFE (the certificate was a mistake anyways)
    voracity
    voracity
    (its not too late we should burn the certificate) HER LIFE? YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE SCENTED GLITTER GEL PEN DICTATING HER EVERY MOVE! I'M OVER HERE AMONG THE TROOPS, IMPROVING THE QUALITY OF LIFE AMONG THE RANKS - DISPOSING THE WEAK FROGGIES SO THAT FROGGY NATION STANDS STRONG
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