“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”
– Bill Watterson
– Bill Watterson
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"Your skin isn’t paper, don’t cut it.
Your face isn’t a mask, don’t cover it.
Your body isn’t a book, don’t judge it.
Your heart isn’t a door, don’t lock it.
Your life isn’t a movie, don’t end it.
You are you, and you’re beautiful the way you are.
There are at least 2 people in this world that would sacrifice themselves for your living. Be proud of yourself, be you. Express your feeling and show that you are great, because you certainly are."
- Anonymous
"I am presently experiencing life at a rate of several wtf's per hour"
Finally cuts ties with someone who's been dragging me down.
My climbing partner: (◎-◎)
Snaps guy's neck to avoid wasting ammo.
The other paintball players: (゜-゜)
"Clever as the devil and twice as pretty.." Wink
“Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”
—Charlotte Whitton
"I like sleeping, I tend to fall apart when I'm awake, y'know?"
"EVERYONE DO DAH FLOP!"
Random Guy ontop a Tower: (:
When you go to the bathroom, and you go to wash your hands...and there's no paper towels just an air dryer...
..where is that air coming from?...
Answer: The bathroom.
People we are drying our hands with ass-air. We mine as well fart our hands dry.
I hope I've opened your eyes with this information.
“Wait oh yes, wait a minute Mr.possssttmaaaan.”
“yeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh”
"I should've left you on that street corner where you were standing..."
"There are millions of people on this planet...and you still single???"
"..."
"....dang me too tf..."
He's doing it guys...
I never thought-..
I-...
I just-..
*WHEEZE*
Kanye really out here 'bout to run for president....omg
"I don't know sleep! It's SUMMA TIME!"
"Girl! Go to bed!"
"Oh. She called me."
8:00 in the morning: *Dog barking*
Nobody:
My German Neighbor: “NEIN!!!!”
“A potato flew around my room before you caaaaaaammmmeee...”
Wow...I’m sorry guys. I just totally died for a good......feeewww months lol. Those of you who I ditched out on, I’m sorry lol. I’m back.
How do you get a sweet
80-year old lady to say the F-word...?
Easy.
You get another 80-year old to say "BINGO!"
Remember the three S's!
Stay Swabbed!
Stay Safe!
Stay Sane!!
Pass it on!
Guys...fo real tho...
Has no one considered the possibility that we might be the ones in area 51...?
*New Message*
FBI
Stay right where you are.
"Our fingers have finger-tips...but our toes don't have toe-tips....but we can still Tip Toe..."
"Is that a weed!?"
"I couldn't repair your breaks, so I made your car horn louder."
-Steven Wright
Ok, I just wanna say, ppl who workin for Walmart and Amazon, kudos to you because God knows how many haters y'all getting because of this dang Corona virus and y'alls price dillema. Y'all stay safe too cuz dang, all kindsa ppl come into Walmart, and who knows what's on those Amazon returns.
Stay safe ppl, a hundred squirts of Hand sanitizer a day keeps the ding dang Corona away. -
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