Sherwood

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  • My six year old told me that she wants a cat for Christmas.

    Normally I do a turkey, but hey, if it will make her happy. . .
    Did you hear about the man that survived a Grizzly bear attack with just a .22 pistol?

    His friend that he shot in the knee was not as lucky.
    When I was little, my mom used to feed me alphabet soup and would tell me that I loved it.

    I really didn't. She was just putting words in my mouth.
    I've decided that my new career is to be a backwards stripper. I'll come out on stage naked, and people pay me to put my clothes back on.
    Kid: <spits out food>
    Mom: We will have none of that! If it goes into your mouth, you swallow it!"
    Dad: <looks at Mom.>
    Mom: Shut up, dear!
    DC Movie Heroes: "Killing is wrong. The only thing that separates us from the villains is our moral code. Otherwise, we'd be just as bad as them."
    Marvel Movie Heroes: "So anyways, when I saw the bad guys, I started blasting . . . "
    Idea
    Idea
    And yet, I’m pretty sure the casualties caused by superheroes DC is...uh...
    BackSet
    BackSet
    And yet Man of Steel still killed the entirety of metropolis. And there was lot's of killing in batman v superman.

    Superman would rather save Lois than a bunch of other random extras because obviously Lois is the only person that matters.

    Movie Batman is just the punisher in a funny hat and Movie Superman is just movie batman wearing superman's clothes.
    Have you seen the movie "Constipated?" Don't worry; it hasn't come out yet.
    Idea
    Idea
    My reaction: haha, but also ewwww...
    School Professor: Group projects teach important life lessons.
    Me: But I already know how to hate other people.
    Idea
    Idea
    As someone currently doing a group project, I have to say

    Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees
    Why aren't breakfast dates more common? I'm like, lets forget the fancy 9pm dinner, and we can now hang out at 9am in our PJs.
    LegoLad659
    LegoLad659
    This is the first time I'm hearing of this concept and it sounds awesome, sign me up
    The Mechanist
    The Mechanist
    I once took a final exam in my pjs, I was just not having any of it that day
    All men like to think that they are marrying nymphomanicacs. The problem is, after a few years the nympho leaves but the maniac stays.
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