"Careful isn't my style baberaham, I charge at danger dick first"
-
I’m sure my Death will be mosquitoes, literally a black cloud around my house
I'm not crying,
There's just a little bit of dust in my eye
That's from the path that you made when you said your goodbye
I'm not weeping because you won't be here to hold my hand
For your information there's an inflammation in my tear gland
I'm not upset because you left me this way
My eyes are just a little sweaty today
"The rasengan is a high level attack where the user rotates chakra, compresses it into a ball, slams it into their enemy and then brags about it for months"
"Fallout 76 will not be included in the worst games award because Neither of us played it as we are not idiots who bought the game"
When the wife challenges you to a Pokémon battle instead of a children’s card game.
“It’s time for a d d d d d divorce!”
The birds and the animals may like you but Fairy tales aren’t real, of course some bitches will try to give you poison fruit and one of your dwarf friends who isn’t 6ft2 May try to help. But they certainly aren’t Prince Charming...
He’s more interested in getting with that girl whose past out.
"Yea well how's that taste? Bet it's not as good as friendship."
Know when you think it's one day but it's actually the next. Fuck that shit
"You best start believing in stories of invincible senile old men miss Turner, cause you're in one"
How to surprise your significant other.
Step one.
have a meal prepared, bought or made yourself doesn't matter just that you both enjoy the food.
Step two,
is to slip away and return wearing a cosplay of yugi moto or mai Valentine from yugioh and challenge them to a duel in the bedroom.
Step three,
Play duel monsters.
As I stole lunch I was beginning to sense some judgement from these fools who don’t label their belongings or stand up to thieves.
I decided then that maybe a casual smile, a friendly mask might help distract from my natural aroma of smoke and contempt.
That or prepare my own food
"You remember that time Morgan killed maybe one hundred lawman and looted each corpse in Valentine then rode his horse off a cliff thinking it was a hill? He must have made eighty dollars that day"
"Shut up Marston."
Be warned
the next rp I make shall have a charismatic brilliant leader who all playing must look up to but whenever questioned about their tactics or ambitions he will reply with one of three sentences stretched out to a paragraph...
"We just need faith/time/money"
"Don't worry, I have a plan"
It's a good thing Bruce Wayne was more scared of bats as a child instead of murderers hiding in alleys.
Otherwise we might have had
"Alley way murder man"
Using pizza for stealth purposes is my third favourite way to use pizza
Today I learned I'm either great at casual flirting or I'm just handsome enough for my words not to matter.
Not sure which I'd rather...
I feel so smart and so dumb at the same time whenever I’m sitting in a classroom
You're scared I know, just be prepared to let it go
So touch the sky but when you've roamed
Your welcome to your welcome home
You know that you always have a friend in me
And friends are the bare necessities
So dig a little deeper make a start
you can fly
When you give this little kingdom heart
It was so embarrassing today, I kicked this guy in the face and I'm pretty sure I heard my pants rip. Have yet to find the tear.
With how I'm working out my muscles will be as solid as my rhymes, and my stomach will be as flat as your heartbeat when I'm nude.
beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
My day was shit but got better as it progressed.
I'd like to imagine your all on the opposite end of that..
all your days started great and progressively got shitty, ending with you reading that I think you had a shitty day.
Well I hope you feel better
When the bed calls for you with a sweet warm comforting tone...
But Dutch has a plan and we need more money.
Having successful family members casts a shadow over my own mediocre accomplishments.
But I mean, none of them can beat hogs of war on ps1 or break a girls heart as quick as I can.
"Well I WAS going to jump off this cliff while injecting battery acid, but I just heard Mario maker is coming to the switch..." -
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