Sherwood

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  • Meow I lay me down 2 sleep, I pray my bowl is full and deep. If I should rise b4 you wake, I'll meow loud and long, make no mistake
    Where is the cooking show with three screaming kids begging for a popsicke as you try to microwave a bag of frozen veggies?
    Daisie
    Daisie
    It's a special show called Parenting! Have it in your own house now for just hundreds of dollars each month!
    Tired of boiling water every time you make pasta? Boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week and freeze the rest for later.
    Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth. That just makes it a soap opera.
    AbsurdNerd
    AbsurdNerd
    Ignoring, blockng, and reporting for violent content and harassment.
    The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having a brain gives hope to some people
    Before you marry someone, you should make them use a computer with slow internet access to see what kind of person they really are.
    Instead of a sign that says "do not disturb", I need one that says "Already disturbed, proceed with caution"
    If I were stranded on a desert island, I would bring along Dora the Explorer. That girl has everything in her backpack.
    WakingDawn96
    WakingDawn96
    Well it’s not like the backpack is any better, it talks to you about all the items it contains then treats you like an idiot as well asking you what will help you out in a time of need. It would just be better to have the grandmother’s from Halloweentown’s bag so you can pull out what you need from somewhere else without it treating you like a moron.
    Idea
    Idea
    Oh my apologies, I wasn't making a response to your comment but to the original status
    WakingDawn96
    WakingDawn96
    I know, but I could still give an answer there, as it’s called a discussion anyways. Just giving some of my own input there. Just giving the reason why the backpack isn’t such a great idea to me either.
    Say what you will about women, but being able to turn one sentence into a six hour argument takes talent.
    Morning checklist. Clothes? Check. Keys? Check, just found them. Coffee? Check, full cup. Sanity? Sanity? And we have a runner!
    If guns don't kill people but people kill people, does that mean that toasters don't toast toast, but toast toasts toast?
    NaruMugiNWShad
    NaruMugiNWShad
    Does an 18 wheeler just run over people by itself? XD
    Psychie
    Psychie
    You are such a idiot, Sherwood. I guess that is one reason why we all love you so much.
    I before E, unless you leisurely deceive eight overweight heirs to forfeit their sovereign conceits.
    Count Gensokyo
    Count Gensokyo
    The "except after c or with the sound of 'ay' as in 'neighbor' and 'way' " clause kind of makes this moot, unfortunately.
    Sherwood
    Sherwood
    Funkiller!!
    La Farfalla Blu
    La Farfalla Blu
    But that still doesn't explain forfeit or sovereign, unless you're supposed to say it like for-fate or sov-er-rain?
    You can tell a lot about a woman's mood by looking at her hands. For example, if she is holding a gun at your head, she's probably mad
    Psychie
    Psychie
    You are a real font of wondrous information, Mr. Sherwood.
    Thepotatogod
    Thepotatogod
    You should probably call the police by then, Mr. Sherwood
    RandomBlobMan
    RandomBlobMan
    What if she's holding a roadroller at me
    I don't like to make plans, because then the word "Premeditated" gets tossed around in the courtroom
    Teenager for sale. Comes fully equipped with sarcasm and rolling eyes. Plays video games and texts constantly. NO REASONABLE OFFER REFUSED
    Psychie
    Psychie
    I'm gonna tell your daughter you said that!
    With the rise of self-driving cars, I expect to hear a country song where the guy's truck leaves him, too. It will happen soon.
    Whenever I have a panic attack, I take a brown paper bag and put it over my mouth. Then I drink all the bourbon inside. It usually helps
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