Venom Adhamm

Dear Santa,


I have tried my best to be good this year and show charity and kindness to those around me and to the less-fortunate. For Christmas this year I would like a girlfriend, if possible. Thanks.


Your friend,


Adham

I don't want kids, because there's a chance they'll look like me and I wouldn't wish that curse upon anyone.

I asked a girl out. She said no. I feel like I want to ask out every girl I see, in sheer desperation as I hope for just a single one to say yes. I'm scared that if I do that, they'll all say no and I'll give up, then go out into my backyard to shoot myself.

I meet a lot of sadists. They tell me to love others as I love myself.


I hope one day a nice girl will confront me on my self-deprecating humor and help me work through my problems, and then fall in love with me and take care of me and never let me go. I fantasize a lot about being in romantic relationships. It's the only way for me to get by.


I always kiss my pillow before I sleep and pretend I'm kissing a girl who loves me. I always hug a pillow while I'm sleeping and pretend I'm hugging a girl who cherishes me.


I always look in the mirror when I wake up, and pretend that it's possible for someone to love a person as disgusting as me.

I've tried to watch Watamote three times now. I can't get past the second episode. It's supposed to be a comedy, and you're supposed to laugh at the main character's failures. But those failures are just too relatable for me.

During WW1, commanding officers often had their soldiers their own graves.


Today, these graves are called "trenches."

There's an idea dealing with rulership and governments. It states that any revolution, rebellion, or upheaval of an established government or ruler will fail. You can see this in dictatorships which, when overthrown by the people, is often replaced by a worse dictatorship. You can see this idea in other countries throughout history (such as Rome and its fall).


It took 240 years, but the American Revolution has finally failed. The Founding Fathers' vision for a democracy that represents the people has crumbled.

I wish I was a dog so girls would love me and hold me and want to take care of me.


And so I'd also have a shorter lifespan.

This one time I went outside and I saw a minor decrease at one point in the ground and it immediately brought to mind horrifying memories of the trenches back in the Great War on the Western Front. So then I went back inside and I saw my reflection in the mirror and got even more upset.

Today, at the practice for the play I'm in, I was standing behind a girl and she bumped into me and then said sorry and hugged me. I'm going to live off that feeling of physical human contact for the rest of the week.

Benefits of being an Asian in America:


There aren't any.


If you go back to Asia, they'll say you're too American-ized. If you stay in America, they'll make fun of you for being Asian.

Things I look for in a girl:


1. A pulse.


Feels like my standards are too high.

Here's a list of things a seven nation army could not do:


1. Hold me back


2. Remove from wealth and power the oligarchical 1% which exists as a necessary evil for a capitalist economic machine to function properly due to the fact that loans increase spending power, which increases someone else's income, and perpetuates a cycle that results in wealth trickling upward


3. Conquer Mars

Another plug for my partner search. It's so difficult to find someone to do this with me. It's not the fault of this site though, since I've tried on many other sites. I'm probably just a terrible writer and should give up.

Still trying to find people for this

I looked up videos on how to get a girlfriend, and the first video I clicked on said "If you're an average or above-average looking male, keep watching." So I stopped watching and refined my search to "How to get a girlfriend if you're ugly." And I found a video with that title, but when I clicked on it, it was the exact same video as the one from before, on the exact same channel. Just with less views.


So instead I just looked up "How to cope with losing hope."

Still trying to find people interested in this. Made multiple threads of this. The very few people I've managed to get to join have abandoned. 

My friend's texting me trying to get comfort during her breakup. But like, why? She knows for a fact that the only experience I have with relationships is in my fantasies, why would she think that I can be helpful at all? I mean, I'm not going to say "Screw off, I won't help you," you know, because I'm scared to disappoint people, especially if they're girls who show me brief amounts of attention sometimes. But if you actually want comfort after a breakup, you should talk to someone who hasn't been rejected all his life.


Or just do what I do and talk to imaginary people in seek of solace and some degree of company, even if that company stems from the solitude of your own mind.

I wish I was attractive so girls would want to talk to me and I wouldn't want to die.

The worst thing you can do to a person is give them false hope that you might be interested in them so that they'll end up spending their days fantasizing about finally being free from the pain of crushing loneliness. So, if you're a girl, please refrain from looking in my general direction and smiling at me so that I don't form an ultimately self-destructive emotional connection.

MODERATOR: Do you feel you have the discipline to be President?


TRUMP: Yes.


CLINTON: Yes.


Few minutes later.


MODERATOR: Secretary Clinton, your time is up.


CLINTON: [continues talking for two more minutes]


MODERATOR: Secretary Clinton, we're moving on.


CLINTON: ...and that's why the American people should vote for me.


MODERATOR: Okay, we have a question fro-


TRUMP: [incoherent rambling]


MODERATOR: Mr. Trump, we're trying to move on to an audience ques-


TRUMP: [AGGRESSIVE INCOHERENT RAMBLING]


Say what you want about the 2016 Election... No really, say what you want about it. Nothing you say can be more disgraceful or terrible than the election itself.

There's a girl in one of my classes who tells me somewhat regularly that I should ask her to Homecoming. I don't know if she's being serious or not, and I don't know if that cause of my uncertainty is because of my crippling self-esteem or my lack of social awareness.


I think I'm going to do the logical, functional, and rational thing, which is to fantasize about her and what a nice relationship we could have instead of just asking her out and seeing what happens.

Fun, casual topics to start conversations with girls!:


1. The weather


2. Homework/classwork


3. Her hair


4. Her clothes


5. The socioeconomic state of our country


6. The privatization of the transportation industry


7. How automation of all labor will lead to the downfall of capitalism


8. The pros and cons of living in an age of nuclear proliferation and deterrence


9. My crippling depression


10. My crippling insecurities

Today a girl smiled and said hi to me, and it was probably the greatest moment of my life. And then later, that girl gave a guy a headpat and I was envious and upset and my day immediately became horrible. I've been working on trying to find new interests, hobbies, and activities to try to find something that will make me happy. It's very difficult. I just want to be happy, even if it's only for a brief moment. I can't remember the last time I was happy.

I went to volunteer at a homeless shelter yesterday, and there was a cute girl from my school there, as well as a friend of mine. I spent a lot of my time there making conversation with the cute girl, and today at school my friend told the others in our little circle that I was flirting with her. I don't think I was flirting with her, and I hope she didn't think I was flirting with her either, because that's usually how restraining orders start.