Other scented candles || a thing, i guess.

He was a sight for sore eyes-- that tousled up raven-coloured hair, dark brown eyes that were the shape of....oatmeal bowls? His nose was alright, Caleb guessed. He couldn't tell the beauty difference between noses if he were honest.

His lips were any person's lips-- pinkish and yet again, not really distinctive. His jawline, however, was able to cut through butter. Caleb didn't really understand the appeal of jawlines. They looked sharp and all but that was it? He couldn't help but sigh aloud as he stared straight ahead at the back of August's head. August was seated a few rows above him but his black hair that seemed a tint blue in the light was still very eye-catching. He couldn't help but think about how it seemed like a long time ago that August thought they seemed perfect for each other.

-----

It was around mid-spring, Caleb thought to himself, trying to remember the day that started everything.

The coffee shop down the street from Caleb's high school was always crowded. Most of the patrons there were of course, students from his high school and he had always hated entering the coffee shop because it has never failed to make him uncomfortable as he was surrounded by students he recognised. They didn't bother him nor did he have a thing against most people from his high school-- it was just odd seeing people you recognise only by face outside of a place you've always seen them in.

Today was an exception though since Caleb had decided to grab a cup of wake-me-the-fuck-up. He placed his order of the strongest drink he could think off-- a frappuccino because who wants to suffer more bitterness when they're already forced to stay awake. Waiting at the pick up station, he couldn't help but let his eyes linger around the coffee shop. It was a cute place, most of the furniture and decor were wood-inspired. Be it those expensive rattan chairs with cushions or even small wooden coasters, it was all wood. Maybe that's why he avoided this place, Caleb thought to himself. It fit his closeted sexuality and desires very well

"Hey, do I know you?"

Oh no, let it be directed to someone else, Caleb thought to himself as he felt a presence next to him. It was obvious that the person next to him was talking to Caleb as there were literally no one else standing with them. He decided to try and ignore it. Maybe by some luck, the other male was talking to someone else or he might think it was a mistake to try talking to Caleb since he didn't respond.

"Um, excuse me?" The voice called out again and Caleb cried internally. He closed his eyes for a split second before his head turned to the left, almost in slow motion before replying with a stuttered, "Y-Yes?"

To his surprise, it was someone he recognised. August Fletch from Calculus 2.

"Hey, I knew it! You're from Calculus, eh?" August replied with a grin before patting Caleb on the shoulder like any other 'bro' friend would do to each other. Did that even have a point? Caleb always wondered but all he gave in response was a nervous and curt laugh before nodding.

"Is this your first time here? I've never really seen you in here a lot before. I'm a regular, ya' know." No, I don't know, Caleb thought to himself as found himself stuck in a conversation would a Golden Retriever. Or rather, a brown Labrador since that suited his hair colour way better than the colour blond.

Just as he was about to reply, his name was called from the barista that was over the other side of the pick up station. "That's me." Was all he replied with a forced smile as he reached down to take ahold of his drink before grabbing a straw.

"Oh cool. I guess I'll see you later then?" August asked rhetorically before giving a small wave.

Caleb returned the wave with his own awkward one before replying, "Yeah, sure thing....um..."

"It's August. Like the month!"

-----

It had been a few months since Caleb had encountered August. It wasn't a horrible thing for him to meet new people and August seemed like an alright person. Caleb just dislikes being forced to befriend others.

However, that encounter from months ago wasn't their last either. Since then, the two of them would bump into each other more often in their school's hallway. To add onto that, August begin to sit near Caleb during their Calculus class and on ever so often, August would crash have lunch with Caleb. Caleb didn't mind his company at all but it was certainly annoying when the raven-haired male wouldn't stop asking a question every few minutes.

Taking a seat on the metal benches at the bus stop of their high school, Caleb huffed a breath as he laid his bag next to him as he let his long legs sprawl in front of him. The day was more tiring than usual as he had a quiz beforehand. Contrary to belief, he didn't really study. He skimmed through the notes he frequently took in class and he called it a day. He was about to shut his eyes for a few minutes before walking back home when a familiar figure took a seat next to him.

Caleb figured if he closed his eyes immediately and lean back even more, August would at least, leave him to nap for a bit. His assumption was yet again, proven wrong for the umpteeth time as a hand reached forward to shake his arm.

"Caleb, what are you doing here? You don't usually take the bus back, do you?"

Sighing, he replied back with his eyes still closed, "I just need to rest for a bit." Okay, now he could sleep-

"Why don't you go back then rest? Won't that be more convenient and comfortable?" August chimed in as he too, leaned his head backwards, against the plastic barrier of the bus stop before looking out at the busy road.

Deciding not to answer, Caleb merely shifted in his position before quieting down.

After a short silence, he figured that August might've either left or has decided to stay silent and let him enjoy his rest. He took it as a good sign and peeked his left eye open.

August was still there but he didn't look like he usually did. He looked like he was in deep thought or was contemplating something difficult.

A pregnant silence soon followed them and Caleb pondered whether he should say something. Now, he couldn't take a nap anymore because he was too anxious. August was usually the type to run his mouth but now, he was as silent as the floor.

Just as he was about to say something, August voiced out, "Hey Caleb, do you think I'm annoying?"

Caleb was obviously taken aback by the sudden question. After months of having to endure August's constant annoying chatter, Caleb couldn't find it in himself to answer his question.

"You know, it's weird how there's no manual on making friends," August continued and Caleb opened his eyes slowly before facing the male next to him who was still staring at the busy road in front of them, "I remember seeing you walk straight to school from home and then walking straight back home after school for a long time, even until now. You never go out much. Or at all, actually."

Was this a love confession or something-, Caleb thought to himself as he squinted at the male next to him but proceeded to not say anything yet.

"Don't you have friends to hang out with?" August asked, this time facing Caleb who was again, shocked by the question. Did he think I was a complete loner, Caleb thought to himself, mildly offended.

After a pause, Caleb merely answered, "I do but I don't need to go out with them constantly to know that they are my friends."

His answer seemed to have sparked a gear in August's brain. It looked as though he was trying to process what Caleb had just said-- as though what he said was something odd and unheard of. A theory that has never been practically applied before.

"Then....are we friends?"

Caleb didn't answer the question immediately. He was a straightforward kind of guy in his thinking but he couldn't phrase it in a straightforward manner. Though, the answer to that question was quite obvious.

"Your turn."

Blue 3.

Minhee couldn't help but frown visibly at the card that was placed on the pile of previously drawn cards. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?" She asked the shorter player that was seated in front of her and all that was given as a response was a little snicker. She glared at the player for a bit before reaching her hand forward to draw a card from the stack of draw cards. Flipping it to her own vision, she had a feeling her luck wasn't to be good this round.

Yellow 1.

Grabbing another card, she prayed silently before flipping it over once again.

Yellow 7.

It was evident that nothing was going her way as her younger brother who she was playing against, snickered even more. "Shut up." She said as she reached forward to pull another card out from the stack of cards. This time, the frown that had accompanied her through the last two draws turned upside down as she slammed the card taken on the pile of drawn cards that were situated between them. "Take that!" She called out, triumphantly before it was her turn to snicker.

A wild card.

"I want green and there's nothing you can do about it." Minhee said braggingly as her shoulders did a little victory dance move.

Minhyuk stared intently at his own lineup of cards before pulling the one right at the end out. Minhee doubted it was a normal card considering how it was only a few rounds ago that Minhyuk was giving her puppy eyes to not place a green card or call for one with a wild card. She was getting ready to call for a truce when he placed his card between them.

A +2 green card.

Silence enveloped the two of them as Minhee tried to process what had just happened and Minhyuk, who you would expect to be celebrating, was fearing for his life.

"You did not just-" the female couldn't even finish her sentence as she contemplated ways to murder Minhyuk.

Minhyuk cowered down, against the cushioned bench as he hoped his sister would let him off a little bit more gentler than last time. Seeing this, the female placed her lineup of cards down on the bench before getting ready to pounce and tickle him.

"Do Minhyuk!"

An older female called out from the threshold of a room and Minhee immediately responded by raising her hand up.

"Do Minhyuk is here. He'll be there in a second." She called out with a smile as Minhyuk nodded at her response. The female that had called out to them nodded in reply to them before saying, "The doctor that's making his rounds will be here in ten minutes so be sure to be in before then."

The nurse then made her way back, into the room as Minhee hurriedly compiled their UNO cards in messy mountain towards her before looking up at her brother.

"You should go now. I'll come back in a little while to see you, okay?" She said with a small smile, knowing that Minhyuk hated the thought of being alone especially after their parents had passed.

Minhyuk seemed hesitant but nodded nevertheless before pointing down at the UNO cards.

She couldn't help but chuckle before patting the mountain of UNO cards between them, "Yeah, I'll bring them in later too. I promise, okay?"

Her younger brother seemed more relaxed at her response as he nodded once again before getting off the hospital bench that was placed outside his room, in the corridor. He gave her one more wave before entering his own room.

She hoped that his refusal to speak was just temporary, even if it was because of the accident.

The wind rustled the few dried leaves that were left unswept on the porch.

It was evening now and the sun wasn't a cool orange that slowly faded into a purple gradient before blending in with black. It was just...there. It stared back at Mina as she reached over a small worned-out wooden table to grab her mug of iced tea. One would assume it was homemade since there was a slice of lemon it it. However, it was merely a couple hours ago when Mina had brought back a bottle of 'sugar-free' lemon tea. She set the mug down again after a sip as she continued to look out onto her front yard and the road in front of it.

Her attention was brought back to the mug of iced tea, its condensation evident as the mug seemed to sweat out the few cubes of ice that were in it.

She felt somber-- not angry nor grieving but almost a sense of regret.

-----

Mina pulled the keys out of her car's ignition before peering into the small cafe.

She wondered whether she was too early as she looked down at the watch on her wrist.

She was half an hour early, proven by the fact that her parking spot was right before the entrance of Little Tea House. Her father had suggested they meet up at lunch time and for some reason, she decided that leaving her house by eleven was a good idea.

She leaned her head back against the headrest of the driver seat before closing her eyes.

Mina didn't think her father would reach out to her. Well, he wasn't a deadbeat dad or anything but her father was never really the type to schedule a meetup, let alone without their mother. It had been a year since she moved to the next town for work and they've only met whenever she went down to visit or when her parents had made the effort to visit her. Though, she had a feeling about why her mother wasn't to accompany them.

Mina opened her eyes once more looking back into the cafe, her eyes scanning for the familiar tall male whose hair was starting to grey by the ends. She spotted him seated at a table with four chairs as he looked through the menu.

She quickly got out from her car, locked it before entering the cafe. At the sound of her arrival, her father smiled before saying, "Hey, I just came and I'm figuring out what to have for lunch."

She took a seat across from him before placing her keys on the table, next to her. "Order whatever you want. I'm paying today." She said with a small grin before picking up the book-like menu.

Her father merely chuckled before looking back at the menu. He knew better than to argue with her. Besides, it felt nice to be treated by his daughter for a change.

After a few minutes of deliberating, they placed their orders before looking back at each other.

"So....how's work?" Her father started off as he begin to lay their utensils down alongside a serviette.

Mina thought for a moment before replying, "Going good, I guess. I'll be placed in charge of an upcoming project soon and my boss is counting on me to make it big." Somehow, it felt a bit awkward compared to their other meetups. Maybe it was because she conversed more with her mother whenever the three of them were together but for some reason, the air felt tense.

"Oh, that's good." Was all her replied as a waitress approached them before setting down a cup of coffee and a glass of iced lemon tea.

They were silent as until the waitress left their table. It continued so until Mina decided to speak up, "So uh, does mum know you're here?"

She didn't know why but her father was caught off guard at the question. She could see he looked surprised at the mention of her mother and he tried to mask it with his usual chuckle. "Nah, your mother's busy today so I figured I'd let her know when she's back."

Busy? She didn't know what her parents did in their free time but the last time she remembered, her mother had taken an early retirement a few months ago. She distinctively remembered her mother reassuring her as to not send them money since her father was working. "Busy? What do you mean? Mum has literally nothing to do at home." She answered back as her hand reached forward to grasp her glass of iced tea. She needed to the condensation to wet her hands slightly as they were drier than ever now.

Her father didn't see anything for a few seconds as he pondered how to reply her. Mina knew that he realised he couldn't lie to her at this point.

"Look, honey. I have something I need to tell you. It's a decision made by your mother and I and it'll probably be shocking for you." He said this in a softer tone as he glanced back up at her. He was hesitating, she could tell but for what, she didn't know. She figured she would she'd know soon.

The waitress from before came back again, this time with their food in hand. Mina wanted to scream for her to leave as soon as possible as she couldn't be bothered with the food right now. Her gut was telling her it wasn't good news at all but she still hoped it was something good.

Her father stared down at the food that was set in front of them before finally saying, "Your mum and I....have decided to separate, Mina."

-----

Taking another sip of her iced tea, Mina glanced back at the evening sun that was slowly but surely, setting. However, straight into a fading black.

It reminded her of her world that day. It seemed like nothing-- an everyday occurrence, as some might say. People die everyday, people get married and divorced everyday, babies are born everyday and that's how the world keeps running.

Mina didn't want to admit it to herself but now that she thought about it, she realised there were signs as to show her parents growing apart-- the fact that her mother begin to discourage her from visiting them more often, her father working longer hours, even their neighbours would give her reassuring smiles more often.

Sighing for the first time that day, she stood up with her mug in hand before entering her house, wondering whether her mother had any thought of abandoning her too.

My lips are chapped and my shirt is drenched with sweat,
My palms are shaking, my knees buckling for the worry they undertake.
I feel the heat from the closed-up room,
Despite feeling the breeze of the air-con being loomed.
I take a seat on the satin bed,
Wondering whether I'm actually in over my head.

For pain is felt and rarely seen,
I tell myself for once, this will not be taken as another scene.

Relax, it's all in your head.

I tell myself that as I gripped the sheets tightly on my bed.

The clock strikes three and the curtains were still drawn in.
My medicine box was scattered and free, sheets of tissues thrown overflew the bin.

The mirror on the dressing table across me, had whiteboard markings of words to describe the person in it I should actually see.

Relax, it's all in your head.

I looked at the palm of my hand, to the pills that I had spread.

I distract myself by thinking about how the first time my head started to scream out loud.

It was a few days before Christmas,
Where lights and decoration in malls were witnessed.
Pine trees were dressed with vibrant lights,
Even my friend and I were brimming with excitement from the sight.

Boxes and packages lined with ribbons and frills,
We couldn't wait to have our fill at the annual Christmas grill.
There would be gifts exchanges and a party with dances,
Though what I looked forward to was when the food passes.

Despite our intentions of wrapping up presents,
It seemed like others too had their own celebration.
The train was packed and my friend and I were separated,
I held onto the door handle as a young girl suggested.

The vehicle jolted and I almost fell,
When a pair of hands held my waist firmly and well.
I turned my head and found myself staring into a pair of eyes that told me he wasn't really himself.

Relax, it's all in your head.

I told myself that and ignored my feeling of dread.
I smiled in thanks and faced forward to the young girl,
And that was the moment my life begin to whirl.

As the train hummed and sighed into the tracks,
I felt the man silently attack.
I felt his body against mine,
Chills went right down my spine.
He rubbed and moved his body against mine,
I kept telling myself I wanted to die.

When my body finally decided it had enough,
I tried my best to move away by being rough.
The young girl looked petrified at what was seen,
But the man gave my body a look that was obscene.

It took me a few moments to realise,
But all I could do was cry and listen to consolation that were actually hidden lies.

My friends would say that no one deserved this,
But behind my back they would blame my attire with a hiss.
Adults would hug me and empathise,
But they told their children that they and I should cut ties.

I begin to lie and isolate myself,
That my room was the only escape from this place I call Hell.
As I distanced myself so far away,
Did my mistakes and flaws I weigh.

"You're disgusting and a horrible person,
For anyone would have stood up for themselves before the situation worsened."
"You're nothing but a coward and an object,
For maybe that's why you never gained true respect."

When crying became a tiresome activity,
I found that cutting myself broke me away from all this so called 'negativity'.
I drew blood and focused on physical pain,
It helped my mind and sanity to maintain.

Relax, it's all in your head.

I tell myself that as I opened my eyes to meet my floor mat.
I look at the pills in my hand before swallowing them as I have planned.
For who could understand and love someone like me,
Who thinks that death is my only remedy.

Literally my first ranting piece, DJBVKJDBV. A ranting piece that can be seen from a certain point of view, I guess. Artistic ranting.

He didn't know how to articulate his feelings into words. Whenever he tried to, words jumble up like a ball of loose string. He tries to unfurl it by himself because he didn't think others could describe what he felt as well as how he felt it. However, he only made conversation even worse, only making for more misunderstandings between him and the person he was talking to. They assumed another when he meant completely something else.

He was sad. He was angry. He was hopeless. He was alone.

People told him he wasn't alone though. That he, as a person, needed to reach out to others if not others wouldn't know how he felt. That made him more angry.

It was an emotion of entitlement, he told himself. Because if he could tell how others feel and try to help them, why couldn't they do the same?

He wanted to reach out, he really did. But how could he when his problems were the core of his being? His problems revolved around the first people who came into his life. His problems were subsequently worsened because the people he was "supposed to be grateful for".

His parents.

They bruised him physically when he was a child and when he grew older and they couldn't do the same, they bruised him mentally.

People told him statements like "they're still your parents!" or "it's just for a little bit more." or even "you'll regret later on not spending time with them."

But what made it more painful was the fact that they were his parents.

They couldn't mean it? Then why did they do it in the first place?

They're frustrated and are human too? Well, so was he.

His friends were there, he knew. His friends always showed support, he could feel. His friends would help with as soon as they knew, he could tell.

But he was stuck in a mess of loose strings that ended up untangling over time. Though the cause might be his parents, he knew that his decisions of enduring alone strengthened the knots.

What could he now? He always told himself that his parents were the least of his care. But in reality, he knew the things we complain most about, the things we hate thinking about, were the things we cared most about.

What could he do now except to cut off the knots that are tangled up?

Her mind was always clouded with thoughts.

Even when she had nothing to think of, nothing pressing to do, nothing important to ponder upon, her mind wandered to places that provided no answers for her.

Is there a real sense of belonging in this world? It always puzzled her that people found their calling easily. She always wondered how her charismatic friend knew that debating was her thing. She wondered how her math-loving friend recognised that what he wanted to do in life was help look for the 'x' and 'y's. It seemed easy once spoken aloud. As though it was natural, recognising your own talent and working on it.

But it was different with her.

She knew she her hobby. She knew she was good at her hobby. She knew that people told her all the time that she could turn her hobby into a job.

But she couldn't help but compare herself. She couldn't help but wonder whether people were merely being nice, whether she was meant for something else.

She loved her hobby but was that all she could and would do?

Was she meant to go down that path or should she venture down a different road?

Maybe it was because she was scared to try and fail.

She hated the thought of having to start over again. To need to rediscover her reason for being.

If only someone could hand her a manual for the rest of her life. Unpredictability was fine but uncertainty down a path was something she was wary of.

She wondered whether she would keep asking herself throughout her lifetime, what is my reason for being?

Was there an unspoken law in the universe that did not allow him to be glad just for the heck of it?

Jessie leaned his back fully against the wooden bench outside of his town's church. He found himself smiling for no reason. He was not a religious man but even those who weren't religious could still have faith in a higher power. He didn't fully understand the depths of his faith though, to what extent his faith really stretched him as a person. However, he knew that despite everything, God was almost like a friend he could turn to for a talk.

He was glad.

His hands rested in his lap and all he could think about was what he had to be glad for.

His friends were an odd bunch, scattered not only geographically but personality-wise too. Sure, he found himself aggravated talking to a few of them at times but he was glad he could call them his.

His parents weren't the best at all. In fact, he would personally not associate himself with them. Bit for some reason today, he found it in himself to be grateful for the things that they had managed to do for him.

His colleagues? They were definitely a handful. Sometimes he wanted to yell out what he was really thinking at them but today, he was glad that they brought out other sides of him, even if they were bad.

His girlfriend? She wasn't the best woman on earth but he wasn't the best man on earth either. He was glad that he at least, had her company to be thankful for. The nights where they fought, the dates they enjoyed, the depressing days that made them cancel plans. Even the day she told him she couldn't possibly bear them a child after they wedded.

He was glad.

He was very, very glad.

He wanted to thank everyone in his life for existing because he was honestly glad, even if his life circumstances wasn't the best, that he got to meet them all anyways.

He was and probably will always be glad.