DisneyGirl
it was fun, peace out.
I wrote a love story about my friend Lenny.
I need to get a life. (:
Tag list:
Little
Peacemaker .45
HeathertheGamer
KingofAesir
LennyTheMemeGod
I need to get a life. (:
Lenny never asked for any of this, but then again, nobody ever asked him if he wanted to be part of a love triangle between the most amazing woman you'd ever want to meet…and the worst.
This is the story of a boy, who cried a river and drowned the whole—oh wait, no, wrong story.
Anyways.
The elevator took exactly two hours and three and a half minutes to get to its destination: the top of the tower, in a small but luxurious office that belonged to the most evil and terrifying man to ever roam the earth. So scary even Satan peed his pants in the presence of him. "U wot?" Lenny croaked, before falling face first out of the elevator. The man was evil. Only a monster would make someone be in a confined space for two hours with no wi-fi, which meant two hours without memes. The result was a dizzy Lenny, and thus, he was laying on the floor like a brand new rug. He stood up again, eyes wobbling and knees blinking—that's not an error, his eyes were wobbling and knees blinking so you just imagine that, ok?—before he stumbled further into the room like a baby sealion. The chair behind the desk sitting in the center of the room had been facing the view of the city but turned around at the sound of Lenny's desperate cry, revealing a female who looked exactly like a certain villian, if he had been run over by a truck a few times and wore a Hannah Montana wig.
"W-waluigi?" Lenny gasped.
"Waluigi is my brother," the female replied. "I'm Waluigiana. You are here to interview me, I suppose?"
"Actually I was just looking for the bathroom," Lenny whimpered.
"Tell me, was it Dat Boi or Rick Rolling that made you fall in love with memes?" Waluigiana asked, staring so intently into Lenny's forehead.
"Neither," Lenny answered. "It was Vines."
"Get out," Waluigiana ordered, sending her guards to throw Lenny out the window. "Wait, what'd I do? What I'd do?" Lenny cried, seeing a bathroom in the corner and looking over at it longingly.
"You threw off my groove," was all the female answered before Lenny went flying down.
"Yeet!" He cried as he fell, before waking up screaming and sweating. He was back in his room, the clock reading 6am. Another bad dream. Another day.
Or so Lenny Swan thought.
School was horrible as always. Everyone was so nice and friendly to Lenny. He was so popular and admired and it made him feel like such an outsider and oh so weird and not special at all. Ugh, I'm so invisible, he thought to himself as everyone invited him to parties and sports games. And I'm so not good at anything at all, he also thought, while he got an A+++ on his homework and teachers kissed his feet. If only someone would notice me, was another thought he had as a bunch of the cheerleaders followed him around school. "Notice me, Senpai!" They groaned, as Lenny Swan sighed at how average his existence truly was.
"Hey, Lenny! I've secretly been in love with you since the 2nd grade and already have the name of our future first born picked out and what's up?" His best friend by default Captain Crunchita squeaked, as Lenny took his seat next to her in Biology class. Lenny sighed, wishing someone would love him.
"Class, we have a new student," their Biology teacher Mrs. Swag announced, as she flipped through a copy of Vogue with her feet resting on the desk. "Walugiana, class. Class, Walugiana. Now go sit next to Lenny."
"But I'm his lab par—" Captain Crunchita started.
"BUT I'M HIS LAB PARTNER," Mrs. Swag mocked. "AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN GYM CLASS WITH TONY THE TIGER?"
Captain Crunchita ran into the corner and cried, meanwhile Waluigiana took her seat next to Lenny. The second their eyes locked Walugiana couldn't help but to stare as she started shaking violently. "A-are you okay?" Lenny asked, feeling butterflies dancing and singing opera in his liver. Waluigiana grabbed their lab desk and threw it at the wall before running out of the classroom. Wow, something about her was so unique and different.
"Okay, class is over," Mrs. Swag said, putting a sleeping mask on and leaning back in her chair.
"But we haven't even started the lesson—!" Captain Crunchita yelled, running back into the classroom.
"BUT WE HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED THE LESSON," Mrs. Swag yelled back. "GET OUT."
Captain Crunchita cried and ran into the corner again.
At lunchtime, Lenny couldn't stop thinking about the girl named Waluigiana. There was just something about her. She was…different. "Is she eating a Tide Pod?" One of the cheerleaders at Lenny's table asked. He looked behind to find Waluigiana sitting alone and, indeed, she was ferociously cutting into and chewing pieces of a Tide Pod before choking on them and spitting them out. "Wow," Lenny sighed, dreamily. She really wasn't like other girls. She was so…different.
"Wow," Lenny said again, and then Captain Crunchita's head started spinning around really really fast as she screamed with her mouth closed. Lenny got up from his chair to go sit with Walugiana. She was just so different.
"Don't sit with me," the girl barked at him. Lenny sat down.
"Stay away from me," she hissed. "I'm a monster."
"I d-d-d-d-don't c-c-c-c-care," Lenny stuttered.
"I'll kill you," she warned. "And steal your cats. And change your Wi-Fi password every morning."
Whoa. He was falling deeper and deeper in love by the second. Where had this girl been all his life? He'd never met a girl like her. She was…different.
"Yaaas queen yaaas," Lenny whispered, a single tear falling down his cheek. A choir of angels began to sing. She was the one.
Lenny went to sleep that night counting Dat Boi frogs but his slumber didn't last for long before somebody smashed his bedroom window and snuck into his room. A figure in the dark approached him. "Get outta bed, loser. We're going to the woods." Walugiana ordered, dragging Lenny out of bed. When they got to the woods, Waluigiana asked Lenny, "Is it true? Is it really you?"
"Huh?" Lenny asked, Anime character style.
"I know what you are," Walugiana said.
"Hey, that's my line," Lenny replied, being confusion. "Aren't you Edward and I'm Bella—?
Waluigiana placed a finger on Lenny's lips.
"You're impossibly knowledgeable in memes and hopelessly addicted to Reddit. You always win at a game of 'no u' and like spam like it's your job. You type in all caps and like to smell the butts of mountain men after a long day of chopping wood down. I know what you are."
"Say it. Out loud." Lenny giggled. "SAY IT."
"A Meme God," Waluigiana sobbed.
"ARE YOU SCURRED?!!" Lenny asked.
"Um. No." Waluigiana replied.
Lenny ripped off his shirt and showed off his abs that sparkled like diamonds. John Cena could never. Then he spread his dragon wings and lifted Waluigiana off the ground and began to fly.
"We're flying!" Waluigiana screamed in terror.
"Okay but this isn't flying?" Lenny told her, rolling his eyes out of their sockets. "This is falling, with style???" Then they fell into a tree and down to the ground. "Accept this as a token of my love," Waluigiana said, holding out a Tide Pod, after she finished wiping the blood and twigs off of her. Lenny reached for it. It looked so delicious.…
"LENNY, NO!!!" Captain Crunchita begged. "I'm your true luv!!! U belong with me!! Hit it, DJ!"
And then somehow there was a guy who pressed play on a boombox started playing the only song that could bring Lenny out of his lovesick spell and back home into Captain Crunchita's arms.
We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
"Never gonna give you up...Never gonna let you down," Lenny sang along, remembering the anthem of his heart. "Never gonna run around and desert you, Never gonna make you cry, Never gonna say goodbye. NEVER GONNA TELL A LIE AND HURT YOU,"
And they all lived happily ever after. I GUESS.
This is the story of a boy, who cried a river and drowned the whole—oh wait, no, wrong story.
Anyways.
The elevator took exactly two hours and three and a half minutes to get to its destination: the top of the tower, in a small but luxurious office that belonged to the most evil and terrifying man to ever roam the earth. So scary even Satan peed his pants in the presence of him. "U wot?" Lenny croaked, before falling face first out of the elevator. The man was evil. Only a monster would make someone be in a confined space for two hours with no wi-fi, which meant two hours without memes. The result was a dizzy Lenny, and thus, he was laying on the floor like a brand new rug. He stood up again, eyes wobbling and knees blinking—that's not an error, his eyes were wobbling and knees blinking so you just imagine that, ok?—before he stumbled further into the room like a baby sealion. The chair behind the desk sitting in the center of the room had been facing the view of the city but turned around at the sound of Lenny's desperate cry, revealing a female who looked exactly like a certain villian, if he had been run over by a truck a few times and wore a Hannah Montana wig.
"W-waluigi?" Lenny gasped.
"Waluigi is my brother," the female replied. "I'm Waluigiana. You are here to interview me, I suppose?"
"Actually I was just looking for the bathroom," Lenny whimpered.
"Tell me, was it Dat Boi or Rick Rolling that made you fall in love with memes?" Waluigiana asked, staring so intently into Lenny's forehead.
"Neither," Lenny answered. "It was Vines."
"Get out," Waluigiana ordered, sending her guards to throw Lenny out the window. "Wait, what'd I do? What I'd do?" Lenny cried, seeing a bathroom in the corner and looking over at it longingly.
"You threw off my groove," was all the female answered before Lenny went flying down.
"Yeet!" He cried as he fell, before waking up screaming and sweating. He was back in his room, the clock reading 6am. Another bad dream. Another day.
Or so Lenny Swan thought.
School was horrible as always. Everyone was so nice and friendly to Lenny. He was so popular and admired and it made him feel like such an outsider and oh so weird and not special at all. Ugh, I'm so invisible, he thought to himself as everyone invited him to parties and sports games. And I'm so not good at anything at all, he also thought, while he got an A+++ on his homework and teachers kissed his feet. If only someone would notice me, was another thought he had as a bunch of the cheerleaders followed him around school. "Notice me, Senpai!" They groaned, as Lenny Swan sighed at how average his existence truly was.
"Hey, Lenny! I've secretly been in love with you since the 2nd grade and already have the name of our future first born picked out and what's up?" His best friend by default Captain Crunchita squeaked, as Lenny took his seat next to her in Biology class. Lenny sighed, wishing someone would love him.
"Class, we have a new student," their Biology teacher Mrs. Swag announced, as she flipped through a copy of Vogue with her feet resting on the desk. "Walugiana, class. Class, Walugiana. Now go sit next to Lenny."
"But I'm his lab par—" Captain Crunchita started.
"BUT I'M HIS LAB PARTNER," Mrs. Swag mocked. "AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN GYM CLASS WITH TONY THE TIGER?"
Captain Crunchita ran into the corner and cried, meanwhile Waluigiana took her seat next to Lenny. The second their eyes locked Walugiana couldn't help but to stare as she started shaking violently. "A-are you okay?" Lenny asked, feeling butterflies dancing and singing opera in his liver. Waluigiana grabbed their lab desk and threw it at the wall before running out of the classroom. Wow, something about her was so unique and different.
"Okay, class is over," Mrs. Swag said, putting a sleeping mask on and leaning back in her chair.
"But we haven't even started the lesson—!" Captain Crunchita yelled, running back into the classroom.
"BUT WE HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED THE LESSON," Mrs. Swag yelled back. "GET OUT."
Captain Crunchita cried and ran into the corner again.
At lunchtime, Lenny couldn't stop thinking about the girl named Waluigiana. There was just something about her. She was…different. "Is she eating a Tide Pod?" One of the cheerleaders at Lenny's table asked. He looked behind to find Waluigiana sitting alone and, indeed, she was ferociously cutting into and chewing pieces of a Tide Pod before choking on them and spitting them out. "Wow," Lenny sighed, dreamily. She really wasn't like other girls. She was so…different.
"Wow," Lenny said again, and then Captain Crunchita's head started spinning around really really fast as she screamed with her mouth closed. Lenny got up from his chair to go sit with Walugiana. She was just so different.
"Don't sit with me," the girl barked at him. Lenny sat down.
"Stay away from me," she hissed. "I'm a monster."
"I d-d-d-d-don't c-c-c-c-care," Lenny stuttered.
"I'll kill you," she warned. "And steal your cats. And change your Wi-Fi password every morning."
Whoa. He was falling deeper and deeper in love by the second. Where had this girl been all his life? He'd never met a girl like her. She was…different.
"Yaaas queen yaaas," Lenny whispered, a single tear falling down his cheek. A choir of angels began to sing. She was the one.
Lenny went to sleep that night counting Dat Boi frogs but his slumber didn't last for long before somebody smashed his bedroom window and snuck into his room. A figure in the dark approached him. "Get outta bed, loser. We're going to the woods." Walugiana ordered, dragging Lenny out of bed. When they got to the woods, Waluigiana asked Lenny, "Is it true? Is it really you?"
"Huh?" Lenny asked, Anime character style.
"I know what you are," Walugiana said.
"Hey, that's my line," Lenny replied, being confusion. "Aren't you Edward and I'm Bella—?
Waluigiana placed a finger on Lenny's lips.
"You're impossibly knowledgeable in memes and hopelessly addicted to Reddit. You always win at a game of 'no u' and like spam like it's your job. You type in all caps and like to smell the butts of mountain men after a long day of chopping wood down. I know what you are."
"Say it. Out loud." Lenny giggled. "SAY IT."
"A Meme God," Waluigiana sobbed.
"ARE YOU SCURRED?!!" Lenny asked.
"Um. No." Waluigiana replied.
Lenny ripped off his shirt and showed off his abs that sparkled like diamonds. John Cena could never. Then he spread his dragon wings and lifted Waluigiana off the ground and began to fly.
"We're flying!" Waluigiana screamed in terror.
"Okay but this isn't flying?" Lenny told her, rolling his eyes out of their sockets. "This is falling, with style???" Then they fell into a tree and down to the ground. "Accept this as a token of my love," Waluigiana said, holding out a Tide Pod, after she finished wiping the blood and twigs off of her. Lenny reached for it. It looked so delicious.…
"LENNY, NO!!!" Captain Crunchita begged. "I'm your true luv!!! U belong with me!! Hit it, DJ!"
And then somehow there was a guy who pressed play on a boombox started playing the only song that could bring Lenny out of his lovesick spell and back home into Captain Crunchita's arms.
We're no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment's what I'm thinking of
You wouldn't get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling
Gotta make you understand
"Never gonna give you up...Never gonna let you down," Lenny sang along, remembering the anthem of his heart. "Never gonna run around and desert you, Never gonna make you cry, Never gonna say goodbye. NEVER GONNA TELL A LIE AND HURT YOU,"
And they all lived happily ever after. I GUESS.
Tag list:
Little
Peacemaker .45
HeathertheGamer
KingofAesir
LennyTheMemeGod
