Idea Working on Races for Army Management Fantasy Character-Driven Roleplay - Need Feedback

Darkraven

Bearer of Evil News
So I've been slowly chipping away at some of the lore of my future roleplay, and a week ago, I've arrived at the all-important race section. Anyway, I need feedback, because I've noticed some possible problems...
  1. Have I gone overboard and created too many races?
  2. I'm beginning to notice that some of the races are starting to sound too much alike. The Minotaurs, for one - I have no idea how to make them different. Should I just ditch them?
  3. Are there any races that are too undesirable to play as?
  4. As you know, my writing is rather content-heavy. Is that alright? Or am I just killing myself for no reason? I mean, I enjoy writing, but there must be a purpose to it too...
  5. Also, I haven't started on the Orc-sympathetic races yet. Any tips on how to write them?
  6. Plus any other feedback would be nice.
I know that my race section looks like 75% done, but it's actually far from that. It's more like 33% done. I have yet to add a few more sections per race. I plan to add a Cultural, Political and Military section for each race. There won't be statistics, but I'll add a summary list to rate them in each race aspect for quick viewing.

Anyway, here's the Race Section of Empire: Augura in Jeopardy:
THE MAJOR RACES OF AUGURA
The major races of Augura are known as such because of their dominance and influence in the world's affairs, from diplomacy and culture to politics and war.

  • angel_knight_by_nosaj7541-d81fe9q.jpg

    (UNPLAYABLE)

    Common Name: Angels

    Other Names: Known to be the First Race and Lord's Servants by the Humans. Elves know them as the Wise Ones and Starchildren, or Sarashilren.

    The Demons spit on their image, and calls them Fairy-Tale, while the Orcs and other fell races of the South know them to be the Enslavers, Jailgods or Arg'Turan.

    The Dwarves know them as the Masons, Great Carvers, Worldbuilders, and also Huraldin in their own tongue.

    Description: Angels are said to be servants of the Lord, who came down from a sky ship to make Augura paradise. They are also said to be perfect in every way, living long lives like Elves, yet smarter than them and stronger than Orcs. As the myths go, they destroyed themselves in a cataclysmic war, and seeded Augura with life, as well as the numerous races.

    Psychology: Nothing is known about the way Angels think except from holy texts and oral tradition. Angels are said to be perfect in every way, and that is down to the way they think. Despite this, they are still capable of war.

    Biology: Angels are said to resemble human beings, but infinitely more beautiful. They are generally taller, unafflicted with any disease and physically superior in every way. They can live as long as Elves, if not longer. It is written that they are all gifted with magic, using it in a great variety of ways, both known and unknown to the various races of the present, and to great effect.

    Most would say that they have a very high grasp of morality, logic and are incredibly intelligent all around, more so than the Elves.

THE MINOR RACES OF AUGURA
The minor races of Augura are known as such because of their lack of involvement in the world stage. They are often subjects of another race, or allied. However, it is said that since much of the world remains unexplored by the Uesan Empire, it is possible that there could be countries consisting of so-called Minor Races out there.

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    Common Name: Raevyens

    Description: The Raevyens are an avian race who claims to be travellers from another realm to the west, over the ocean. They resemble their namesake, Ravens, or crows, very much, but stand slightly taller than humans. They are not found in the Uesan Empire in any great numbers, and are not subjects of the Empire because of their nomadic nature in the local continent. They are few in number, but despite much misgivings and controversy centuries ago when they had first landed, are well regarded by their mammalian peers to be incredibly bright but also straight-forward and even harsh in their opinions. Hence, they are known infamously to be bearers of evil news.

    Psychology: Raevyens aren't hostile nor aggressive, and are highly inquisitive and curious. They claim to never have fought an aggressive war in their home continent, but have nearly been subjugated by another Avian race, the Eagerlers. Due to their long lives, rivalled only by the Demons, they are incredibly patient and forgiving towards the flaw and mistakes of others. In fact, they are troubled by the lack of these virtues in the other races, and the war that are constantly waged in and around the Uesan Empire. Raevyens prize intellectual pursuits - both the arts and the sciences most, and see honesty and clarity as good characters, sometimes to the chagrins of others who prefer not to hear the truth.

    Biology: Raevyens live incredibly long lives, from 800 - 1000 years, if they are to be believed. Some interpreted this as a sign of favour with the Lord and Angels, while others associate them with the Demons. Authorities of the Uesan Empire, to the Raevyen's benefit, has chosen not to burn the Raevyens at the stakes because of their non-belligerence. They stand rather tall, comparable to Elves and Orcs, from 1.7m to 2.3m. Their wingspan is even more prodigious, spanning three times their height.

    Despite their size, they are not a strong race, which is, again, comparable to the Elves, though they are worst off. While in flight, they couldn't carry beyond a quarter their weight, and they are not much better on the ground. In the martial pursuits, even smaller creatures such as Imps and Hobbits might stand a chance at overpowering it, with only the strongest of Raevyens being capable of matching an Elf in strength. However, Raevyens could fly, and fly very well. Their testament lies in their presence in the continent of Uesa alone is enough. Raevyens crossed with regularity the ocean that sailors reported to be endless. They are also unmatched in agility in the air.
 
Bump. EDIT: Well blow me down, this section of my RP must either be so terrible or too perfect that no one has even written a one-liner feedback :D
 
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1. I believe so. Imo you shouldn't include minor races/factions. You could mention that other intelligent species and civilizations exist outside of the world's major factions, but I don't recommend detailing them. Send a clear signal that the players should concern themselves with the legitimate powers of the setting.
2. Consider dropping races from your major list if they're too similar to others. Let each faction have its own niche and not be watered down by competitors.
3. I'm not excited by your standard Tolkien fantasy races. At a glance I would drop elves, dwarves, orcs, hobbits, angels, & demons. If you're going to put a lot of work in, start with creativity.
4. Details are fine. Honestly I like more than less info when it comes to world factions.
5. I don't like the inclusion of orcs here so I can't help you.
6. That's basically it. Fewer factions (half a dozen or so), less traditional fantasy, greater faction differences & distinct cultures, possibly include an NPC or two for each faction, ect.
 
Oh boy I've been staring at this a while and figure I may as well shoot you some feedback as well, however much that counts for.
  1. Oh, yes. Yes you have. This is a lot of races and a lot of information on each race. If we're doing army-management here then it's kind of a tough case to include the minor races and all of that lore for them if they have little involvement in the world stage.
  2. Well I can't provide any original feedback on this one now. Read the one above. You may not need the minotaurs either, honestly.
  3. Every one of these races is a familiar face, and as such this is a matter of personal opinion and not of actual useful feedback (I play whatever looks cooler and that's basically it): I don't give a shit about the angels, demons, or steelskins, and I'd either be a dwarf or a ca-caw ca-caw raven boy... wait, never mind, they live way too long. Is there, like, a race in here that has a shitty lifespan, far lower than the usual human hundies?
  4. Quite a lot of reading, but that's kind of a subjective topic. We need to know about the details you're planning on adding in, as those are very much relevant, but you don't require nearly as much for the minor races I hope.
  5. I dunno. When I think of orcs, I think of Blizzard. And I'm not much of an orc person either.
  6. Well, let's not get too crazy here. I won't make a half-assed repeat of what Bone2pick has already said, and I believe his suggestions will certainly be of use here.
 
1) I guess the next move is clear then. I'm going to have to choose between the Centaur and Minotaur, and I'm gonna get rid of one or more of the Orc-sympathetic races. Probably the Trolls. Maybe the Ogres.

Actually, its because of the fact that it's an army management RP that there's got to be a lot of information though. The minor races are minor only because they don't really have their own sovereign states in this part of the world, but they'll play a part in various ways, including in battles and politics. For example, a player might have to choose between fielding companies of Elves, or companies of Hobbits, for example - and they'll have to decide which is more appropriate for their use. And Hobbits have a use, definitely.

2) So noted as the above. I think some of the minor races need to go.

3) Well, it is true that leaning on traditional fantasy isn't as creative as coming up with an entirely new race... But I have a sci-fi twist behind it towards the backstory and endgame of the RP, so... :)

4) More lore, coming up then :)

5) I could always play down the Orcs a little. Besides, the real arch-villain won't be the usual fantasy races, so I probably shouldn't cramp their style with the Orcs.

6) Alrighty then. So... I'm gonna make these races more unique then. I think it's par for the course for any successful RP.

So... Anyone else got any feedback or suggestions?
 

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