Traveling Bratsche

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  • SO: *walks in bedroom and throws pumpkin seed at me* Why was this in my coffee?!?

    Me: *dies of laughter*

    SO: *not amused* You think you're so funny.
    Me: I made the first move, you know?

    SO: no I definitely made the first move.

    Me: Honey, I don't think staring at somebody across the courtyard like a serial killer for two weeks straight is making the first move. Which means I made the first move
    SO: *enjoying the sunny weather in Southetn France without me*

    Also SO: *getting sick af*

    Me: poor baby let me take care of you!! *sends millions of messages on what helps what symptom like an ol' granny*

    Also me: good. You deserve it bish...

    Notice: I don't actually think my SO deserves being sick on vacation although I am jealous that I couldn't go because #work.
    Dear fellow German speakers,

    "EINZIGSTE" IS NOT A WORD!! It's only "einzige"! There's no plural form for it! Please stooooop! It's confusing to little foreigners like me!! (For those who don't speak german, it's the same as saying "funner" instead or "more fun". "Funner" is also not a word and my phone keeps trying to make it "dinner".)

    The Mechanist
    The Mechanist
    I live in the borderlands so I know how you feel XD I’ve just embraced the made up words though
    Traveling Bratsche
    Traveling Bratsche
    Hahahaha! I'm from the PNW and we have I own screwy hill billy slang when you know where to look for it.

    Also my bosses speak a dialect of German. I was just talking to my landlord who can hardly speak the language and I started using the dialect pronunciation of some of the letters and he got suuuuper confused. Then I was confused about why he was confused until I realized that I was speaking high german but dialect pronunciation... thanks bosses.
    The Mechanist
    Dear [insert names of those waiting for me to reply],

    I just started my apprenticeship. I'll try to get to you soon. It might not be until Sunday or Monday, however, as those are my days off. I have a little relax time today but I'm spending it with my SO because it's my birthday.

    My knee is out of orde due to a spontaneous race down the stairs.

    Also my washing machine won't turn on??
    Did you try unplugging it and plugging it back in?
    That actually works for my washing machine when it's having issues.
    Traveling Bratsche
    Traveling Bratsche
    I always unplug it when I'm not using it. I even plugged it into my neighbor's outlet and it didn't work. I tried turning on their machine too so I think it's the power in the basement. I'll go plug my phone Into our outlet to see when I'm home from the doctor.
    Okay the Piroggen didn't turn out disgusting but they look like baked turds because the dough was melted and also they're a bit too dry. I forgot to coat them in milk before putting them in the oven. Whoops. I'll make more tonight maybe when it has cooled down A LOT in the kitchen.
    I made a grave mistake. It's hot af melt your booty off hot outside and I thought it would be a great idea to make Piroggen by hand for the first time. Well AC basically doesn't exist here and this dough is 80% butter... let's just say there will be no second batch today.
    So: come cuddle me

    Me: you have to tell me how pretty I am and how much you love me first.

    So: I freaking love you and you're the most beautiful thing in the world.

    Me: Thing???

    So: *rolls eyes and sighs* You know what I mean. Collection of particles. You're the most beautiful collection of particles to exist.

    Me: *proceeds to cuddle* thanks... you sure know how to woo a person.
    European friend: country music is trash. I can't believe people like it.

    Me: mhm...
    Also me 30 minutes later: *plays country music*

    Friend: Wow this is really catchy! What is it??

    Me: 🙄 Country

    Friend: Oh...

    Me: So you decided you hated something and never even googled what it was? Maybe look it up next time before you decide to agree with the general opinion on the internet.

    Friend: *crickets*
    Me: How do you like the soup?

    SO: It's yummy but too hot.

    Me: Good thing you took 20 years to get to the table then. It would be as hot as me still!

    SO: Impossible.

    Me: How's that? Because I'm infinitely hot?

    SO: No. You can't cook in the freezer.

    Me: *nostrils flare* Bish.

    As you can see, we love each other. <3
    We didn't end up going to the zoo because it rained all weekend but we are going today. It's sunny.

    Me: I really can't wait to go to the zoo!

    SO: Neither can I!

    Me: I'll finally get to meet the rest of your family!!

    SO: *scowls*
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