Nokumi
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  • Update on things. I found out that AI can help me make things I never could on my own.

    Motivation is a struggle right now


    conflict with family is rising.


    Depression struggle. Very high.


    I’ve felt unsafe with a new person in my house today. Hopefully it got dealt with by my dad but I won’t know until morning because he told me to go to bed
    BLOG POST IT UP! If you need help finding it let me know! I can send you the link! (Yes it’s on rpnation) ❣️
    Heading to a festival for the Chinese lunar new years! (I think that’s the name of it) and I’ll get lots and lots of pictures! Keep checking my blog if you seen it! I will be posting later this afternoon
    This song’s lyrics is dedicated to my ex boyfriend “Jaeden” a song by (set it off)


    Thanks for treating me like every boy you meet
    So please come in and take a seat
    Here's the part where I learn, and you will teach
    On how to treat people like a piece of meat
    I want a genuine, not a replica
    Lethal medicine, a pin to the cornea
    A sight for sore eyes
    While other guys consume the lie, I'll run and hide
    No doors exist on my fortress
    The only entrance is the one I bear
    You're nothing more than a temptress
    I fell victim to a heartless snare
    Burn the bitch down
    I never will cross that bridge again
    I cannot trust you easily
    Or think that I'm the only one
    I never let people in
    And I have you to remind me why
    So, baby, burn the bitch down
    I never will cross that bridge again
    I'd rather drown
    I'm the master of construction
    Because I'm building walls like it's my occupation
    If you portray a liar
    I'll shut you out without hesitation

    (Part of song)
    Depression is starting to become unbearable. . . How unbearable? Well I made excuses to not eat for 4 days. Only snacking when I start to feel on pain. I’ve slept until 2pm almost everyday despite falling asleep at 10 or so the night previously. Getting yelled at for sleeping to long is unpleasant. Especially when it’s an escape…

    May become less active except for one person as an acceptance
    Kaerri
    Kaerri
    Hi there. Depression sucks and I hope you're able to find some help with it, or at least help dealing with it and maybe with whatever's triggering it (I have anxiety, so I know there may not be an actual "cause" but sometimes there's triggers). With that in mind, I want to share a list of resources we've compiled for people in need of help, hopefully something here will be of use to you. Distress and Crisis Resources
    Nokumi
    Nokumi
    Thank you… but… I have no insurance right now and I don’t wanna risk getting billed. Ontop of that I’m not even supposed to have a roleplay website my dad has no idea of rpnation. If I randomly find something and then tell my dad he may get suspicious and I may end up losing all my friends on rpnation which in all honesty will ruin me even more. I’m heavily dependent on rpnation to feel.. anything… and the fact my dad doesn’t approve makes it that much harder to use it. I also took a look and I’m unsure any of these would be appropriate for my kind of case.

    The last thing I need is to be taken to a mental hospital and have a ptsd attack because of all my trauma in a mental hospital I had for half of my childhood.


    I appreciate the offer tho ❣️
    Nokumi
    Nokumi
    And I know my dad shouldn’t really have much an influence on my life cuz I’m 21 now. But he does because I would hate to disappoint him because I love him so much. That and he can cut off service to my phone because he’s paying the bills
    Hi, cute demon! How are you today?
    Nokumi
    Nokumi
    Yea.. but yknow. I’ve kinda grown numb to some things… like how life seems to be uninteresting to me? It’s weird but… I’ve never felt fulfilled in life… it’s boring bland and painful… full of negativity and restrictions… and fear… that’s kinda why I roleplay… to escape life… it’s the only thing that brings me excitement… even if it’s limited time…. And it also helps me escape the reality I live in…. A horrible reality. Roleplay I can be anything anyone in any world I dream of… in the real world your stuck with the cards you been dealt…. My cards… just happen to be a poor deck.
    Rekai Leon
    Rekai Leon
    So you are roleplaying because it gives you distraction from the reality, which makes you feel better?
    Nokumi
    Nokumi
    Yes… that and I sleep none stop… because sleep is like a free trial of death. My mind goes silent. Pulled away from bad thoughts. My body kinda doesn’t hurt anymore? Everything I feel fades
    Heading to my grandpas today! Thanks to now living in his state (the state he lives in not that he owns it) it’s only a 4 hour drive instead of 3 to 4 days.
    Nokumi
    Nokumi
    Got here a while ago had dinner and now resting.
    For those of you who have seen my blog I didn’t wanna post on there this important update! HEADING TO THE RIVER WALK NOW SO EXPECT A UPDATE SOON! a few hours give or take! Need time to actually experience it yknow?
    1K views on my blog! MAJOR MILE STONE! thank you viewers for all your support! In case those of you who didn’t see my blog today I got my nails done!

    (Mainly for pun) but anyone’s welcome to look!

    (Btw pun my blog is called “Nokumi renewed blog” in case your having trouble finding it)

    HERES THE RESULTS!IMG_2466.jpeg

    It’s a powder dip! My first time dipping it so we will see how well it turns out after a few days!
    To be fair Jo Jo is that type of anime that’s a hit or miss. I’d always recommend one piece it’s so great.
    Nokumi
    Nokumi
    Agreed! Just got done with the second episode of one piece live action. AH buggy was phenomenal.
    Kaiju Cat
    Kaiju Cat
    Good to hear how that helps your enjoyment of the anime if you ever pick it up again. Buggy is a boss there too.
    paperjamisacutebean
    paperjamisacutebean
    kaiju can u please rejoin the gc
    Precognitive dreams. The most widely reported form of future telling or precognition. Half the globe reports having these dreams and I myself have had these dreams. Precognitive dreams are dreams that depict the future but cannot be claimed as precognitive until after the event has occurred. And there for causes déjà vu.

    Why would we as people in the real world be able to see what happens in the future through dreams but be blissfully unaware.

    Unless… we’re stuck in a time loop? That the events have already occurred and the precognitive dream was a memory of the last run. That maybe time travel is perhaps already existing but we as people are unaware of. And as a result of time travel the space time continuum is breaking reality in slight side affects.

    That would explain the precognitive dreams correct?
    Kaiju Cat
    Kaiju Cat
    Yeah that happened to me more than once. So I relate to your post.
    If anyone ever is told goodnight by me and then you see me online later it’s not that I lied it’s that I failed.

    As a person with insomnia. Night terrors. And schizophrenia. It makes it quite difficult to sleep or even stay asleep and even tho I can’t sleep and went back online I’m still way to tired to deal with people or roleplay. So I’ll just browse around on public forums and perhaps make a post or two. Depending how bored I really am it may be more.
    Daisie
    Daisie
    So sorry about your struggles with sleep. :c
    I'm really interested in psychology, would you be open if I shot you a PM inquiring about life with schizophrenia?
    Nokumi
    Nokumi
    Sure
    Post poning my recipe for best ever potato soup my grandma makes- anyways.

    Has anyone ever thought about doing like…. This may sound weird but like …

    Villian x villians lawyer?

    Where the villian is in love with his lawyer but the lawyer knows he’s the villian. So he’s too scared to rat him out in worry something will happen to him. And then it just turns into a game of cat and mouse. Where the villian actively hunts down the lawyer who goes on the run. The villian trying to capture the lawyer to be his beloved. And the lawyer just fleeing for his life.
    Meow ^_^ How are you today, cute demon?
    Nokumi
    Nokumi
    Meh. I been waiting for you to post here… -3- been going through some depression… I lost all my friends during the move. Atleast the ones I see in person… and the only ones I have left are the ones online….
    Rekai Leon
    Rekai Leon
    Sorry to hear that :(
    Time is starting to free up a little. Thank the lord. I was starting to get a little too tired. I almost passed out one day or atleast that’s how it felt with how light headed I got and how my brain tingled. Honestly I should tell my dad I was pushing too hard but still.
    I should be a sales person- now hear me out. Everyone hates a sales person. Except business people. But if I was in an add for Texan app favor I’d be hella popular cuz I’d rizz people up-. And since the apps name is favor i will say this at the end

    “FAVOR! The app that does YOU a favor!”
    Nokumi
    Nokumi
    Just saying I’d make a good content creator if given the opportunity
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