I wish coding was better on mobile. I wish I didn't have to use mobile. I wish there was a "updates and changes" over time with code so that if I have a code that doesn't work anymore I can easily find out why. I wish I can roll back time about 3 hours this site unjustly just stole from me by reverting to a previous state despite my desires.
Scared. Strange as a realization it may be, but it offers the sobering placard of my own viewing, and now for whoever reads this. I am lonely. Little of the faces and names I remember and once saw that were on this site are here. I feel forgotten by the many, maybe they left. I miss those roleplays we had. The ones I barely see here, barely of the same fondness. It is sobering. It is, in a way, grotesquely cathartic.
Does anyone have some roleplay's they'd be willing to let a return rp'er join? I used to write detailed/advanced work, but atm as a mobile user I have no gauge of my ability? Will anyone take me on as a member of their work?
Like a juvenile mix of petty thievery and and indulgent practice. A simple lack of tact--no. Lack of better judgement to so with my time, the question is; am I not entitled to spend the sweat I earn? And further really is the willingness to really actively partake. I wish for my computer back, what a mess.
There is many demons I wish to see not place themselves within the bottles I would swig down. Perhaps a bit harsh for my liking to insinuate writing on a forum with the malicious throes, but what else is there to compare it to? Love and fascination are rose colored, too much in fact. Hobby is a hue of menial indulgement and wasting away. Perhaps it seeks to be called by another rose and bear "Obsession".
Its almost the temptation to go back and rp, dunno why I sit on my hands so. Its perhaps something troubling me about the lack of "longform" writing that I am willing to lend, or sacrifice, my time over. But my will is weak, my desires selfish. I want it, but at what cost? Troubling. Telling. Flustering.