Other Why are there so many flaky rpers? Why do people vanish?

[Darkraven]

Because they're lazy and in need of a quick fix, plain and simple. Those are the kinds of people who should just go away and grab an Xbox controller or something.

By right, roleplaying is a very intensive form of entertainment, and not everyone can handle it from start to finish. There's supposed to be a culture surrounding it, but with the internet, any Tom, Dick and Harry could just wander in half-drunk and put up a character sheet. They'll just wander out in a few hours, of course. There's supposed to be a moral code in roleplaying, but no one adheres to it anymore. For one thing, to avoid ditching an RP and causing it damage, you could simply:

- Evaluate the potential of an RP from the moment its interest check goes up to just before the IC starts. It's easy to see if it's an RP you'll stay in during this period, as more plans for the plot will be revealed and CSes will be put up. If there's too many things you don't like, you can retract your interest here and be on your way without jeopardising the RP. While it's going to take a bit of mental effort, it's not that hard. But apparently, no one does this. Personally, I've ejected myself from two RPs here (and I've only been around for a fortnight) before they've started when they're in the interest check phase, and no person or RP is harmed as a result.

- Now, assuming you've found an RP you'll stay in. Something evil happened; real life or something. All you have to do is to lower your engagement, put your character in a less prominent position and come back.

- You start getting cold feet, or didn't feel like posting anyway despite everything. Instead of quitting immediately, you do the same as the above point, or delay your posting if there's time to do that (such as in an advanced RP with slow posting rate) - psyche yourself up for a post and then go ahead when you're ready. Even professional writers wouldn't feel like writing everyday. They face such an emotional chaos everyday. Roleplayers are writers, so they're supposed to act like it.

EDIT: - Oh, and don't join more RPs than you can handle. Seriously, WTF?

 

[rae2nerdy]

Because they're lazy and in need of a quick fix, plain and simple. Those are the kinds of people who should just go away and grab an Xbox controller or something.

By right, roleplaying is a very intensive form of entertainment, and not everyone can handle it from start to finish. There's supposed to be a culture surrounding it, but with the internet, any Tom, Dick and Harry could just wander in half-drunk and put up a character sheet. They'll just wander out in a few hours, of course. There's supposed to be a moral code in roleplaying, but no one adheres to it anymore. For one thing, to avoid ditching an RP and causing it damage, you could simply:

So that was super pretentious and I am genuinely curious where this idea of a "moral code" and supposed "culture" come in. Cuz I have been at this for almost ten years and no one ever told me anything about a moral code. I was never aware I should look into any kind of pre-existing culture surrounding roleplaying either.

Is it like a fandom? Is there a quiz I have to take to be allowed in? Do I have to send some kind of credentials to a specific person?

Like I mean I get what you were trying to say but holy wow that is not the way to go about saying it. It makes you seem like the worst kind of gatekeeping asshole.

If I might make a suggestion : People underestimate the time commitment that is involved in roleplays and lack the skills and experience to bow out gracefully

Gets your point across just as well and it also doesn't make you seem like your one of those people who turns up their nose at anyone who doesn't meet some kind of arbitrary code of excellence you have in your head.

 

[Darkraven]

So that was super pretentious and I am genuinely curious where this idea of a "moral code" and supposed "culture" come in. Cuz I have been at this for almost ten years and no one ever told me anything about a moral code. I was never aware I should look into any kind of pre-existing culture surrounding roleplaying either.

Is it like a fandom? Is there a quiz I have to take to be allowed in? Do I have to send some kind of credentials to a specific person?

Like I mean I get what you were trying to say but holy wow that is not the way to go about saying it. It makes you seem like the worst kind of gatekeeping asshole.

If I might make a suggestion : People underestimate the time commitment that is involved in roleplays and lack the skills and experience to bow out gracefully

Gets your point across just as well and it also doesn't make you seem like your one of those people who turns up their nose at anyone who doesn't meet some kind of arbitrary code of excellence you have in your head.

I'm not the one who comes flying in here and calling people names, such as a 'gatekeeping asshole'. That's really some kindergarten stuff there.

So I used a few words that you don't approve and you're offended? Yeah, but then this is the internet, of course there are people like you. There are literally a thousand ways to interpret what I'm saying and you chose to see me as a snobbish, elitist 'asshole'? What, you spying on me with a hacked webcam or something?

Of course there's a moral code and culture in roleplaying! There's a moral code and culture in everything! Americans have certain moral codes and culture as a social norm, so do the British, hell, so do people with different professions, and even modes of entertainment. So what if I've used those two words?

I've said it before, and I've said it again, there's a certain moral code and culture in roleplaying, whether you like it or not. It doesn't have to be agreed upon by everyone, and there doesn't have to be just one, but there's actually something that everyone knows works but few people follow. It doesn't have to be written in a manifesto either, and it doesn't have to be complex. It can be as simple as this:

- Do not hurt your fellow roleplayers.

And it would have worked better than having no moral code and culture, because those are the kind of people who destroy RPs.

If you follow just that one rule specifically, you'll learn not to take on RPs so casually, so that you won't HURT your fellow roleplayers by ditching the roleplay you so casually joined without considering if you like it. You'll learn not to ditch RPs so you won't HURT your fellow roleplayers. You'll learn not to give up so easily because of a stray feeling of temporary cold feet and boredom so you won't HURT your fellow roleplayers.

Moreover, you'll learn to not be ABRASIVE to your fellow roleplayers so that you won't HURT your fellow roleplayers, for one. I've seen this particular one happen too many times, and I've been booted from a few RPs because of a combination of this and stupid biasness in a clique-controlled RP. The result? The RP loses a roleplayer they claim they very much would love to have but can't keep and the roleplayer loses an RP he very much wants to be a part of but can't be in.

So no, you don't have to take a bloody quiz or test. You just have to be a compassionate human being to have a moral code and know a kind of culture in roleplaying.

The culture bit is so obvious I'm surprised you don't know. We have a GM, or Co-GMs who writes and directs a roleplay, people listen to him. Sometimes we use dice, sometimes we use reality and common sense and writing to be our check and balance. You listen to the GM, or try to convince him. You don't challenge him, you leave if you can't handle it. That is why you choose your RP carefully, other than the above. The culture of RP is one of writing and cooperation, even in the arena.

Your suggestion here by the way: 'People underestimate the time commitment that is involved in roleplays and lack the skills and experience to bow out gracefully'

It isn't any better. Some would say that you're being an elitist snob. But you see, unlike you, I'm just going to say that we're actually saying the same thing. I don't know you, as much as I hate what you're writing now, so I won't attack your character and drive the topic off the tracks.

 

[BloodWolfRising]

Simplest reasons:
​

• Some people don't care.
• Some people have a lot going on in reality.
• Some people aren't busy but then get slammed.
• Some people don't understand the full concept of rping.
• Some people take on more than they can handle.
• Some people just try to escape reality for a bit and then get bored.

 

[Daekra]

Hmm, I've also been struggling to find those willing for long-term roleplay. I currently operate as a group lead for a concept I've built and refined. It can be difficult attracting the right people who are invested in an idea. Although it is somewhat disappointing on my behalf, it is relatively understandable. Given the real-life obligations, people need to meet to live decently.

I hope that this matter improves over the coming months. And I'll merely do my part by inviting anyone indeed to my group. If it works, maybe my roleplay can become autonomous and self-sustaining, entirely long-term. If not, I will keep on trying until I retire from roleplaying which is not very likely.

One thing that I am grateful for is that this idea of long-term roleplay is not dead. Not as long as people are willing to pick it up and keep on going. Anywho, I wish anyone that searches for long-term roleplay the best of luck. And if luck is not willing to help, I am.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Fair enough perhaps that was overly harsh but my point is you are confusing - personal experience / preference / opinion / whatever. With universal facts.

I have LITERALLY NEVER HEARD OF a moral code or culture surrounding roleplays.

I mean yes there is the general idea of not being a dick but no one ever called that a moral code, they called it being a decent human being and it's not specific to roleplays. Any time you interact socially with another person it's generally agreed you should do your best not to be an asshole.

.

The culture bit is so obvious I'm surprised you don't know. We have a GM, or Co-GMs who writes and directs a roleplay, people listen to him.​

Darkraven ( sorry don't know why it didn't quote properly )

I don't think culture means what you think it means. Or else I'm really not understanding what your trying to go for here.

Because I have never in my life heard of the idea of GM's running roleplays as a "roleplay culture". It is - how a roleplay is run.

So the point I was trying to make is maybe rather than using big words that are at best confusing to people who don't know the terminology you use or at worse make you sound douche-y.

You could just say

Hey don't be a discourteous to your fellow roleplayers folks. You join a roleplay make sure you can keep up or bow out if you can't.

You're still getting your major points across but you aren't using ideas other people aren't going to understand.

PS I'm not salty I'm petty. If you're going to try to insult someone there are some far nicer memes out there.

 

[Darkraven]

Fair enough perhaps that was overly harsh but my point is you are confusing - personal experience / preference / opinion / whatever. With universal facts.

I have LITERALLY NEVER HEARD OF a moral code or culture surrounding roleplays.

I mean yes there is the general idea of not being a dick but no one ever called that a moral code, they called it being a decent human being and it's not specific to roleplays. Any time you interact socially with another person it's generally agreed you should do your best not to be an asshole.



Darkraven ( sorry don't know why it didn't quote properly )

I don't think culture means what you think it means. Or else I'm really not understanding what your trying to go for here.

Because I have never in my life heard of the idea of GM's running roleplays as a "roleplay culture". It is - how a roleplay is run.

So the point I was trying to make is maybe rather than using big words that are at best confusing to people who don't know the terminology you use or at worse make you sound douche-y.

You could just say

Hey don't be a discourteous to your fellow roleplayers folks. You join a roleplay make sure you can keep up or bow out if you can't.

You're still getting your major points across but you aren't using ideas other people aren't going to understand.

And who made your the judge, jury and executioner when it comes to vocabulary choice and manner of speaking? The way I see it, as long as I'm not being RUDE or ABRASIVE, I'm good. Roleplaying is about getting together a difference assortment of people so we'll get vastly different characters and unpredictable but fun stories. What's douche-y to you is not douche-y to other people. I think you just need to learn not to judge.

Besides, aren't we all stating an opinion here? How is it that your opinion is more acceptable than mine? How is it that you can state what's a universal fact and I can't? Like I said, I think we've arrived at the same conclusion on what the moral codes and culture of roleplaying should be. I don't give a damn. I'm going to use those words regardless.

Like I said, your previous suggestion could easily be interpreted like mine. The difference is that I chose not to judge you and hold up a glass ball to predict the exact tone, voice, face and attitude you're putting on, because that's not something you can see here. Instead, I chose to see the best in you, unless I see evidence to the contrary.

There's a lot of things that are 'culture' that usually isn't referred to as such, because we take them for granted. The very act of roleplaying is culture, and everything we do in it is culture. Hell, drinking Coke is culture, even if it's ubiquitous and taken for granted. There's going to come a time when it won't be, but heh. If you check the dictionary definition of the word 'culture', you'll know what I mean.

I don't think I can ever agree with you. Your point is that using big words is wrong and 'douche-y'. I say that you're being incredibly judgmental. EDIT: Not to mention derailing the thread.

 

[ApfelSeine]

Hey y'all The discussion is getting off topic so let's dial it back a few notches and focus on the subject at hand. Please keep all judgemental opinions and name calling to yourself.

Flakiness in rping is a common problem no matter where you go, and it's interesting that there's many different theories people have as to why that is. I think that goes to show that this is a very complex issue that can be an interesting subject of discussion since everyone has their own insight into what tends to lead to ghosting (or even why they themselves have flaked on people). There's a lot of factors that can be speculated about, so let's stick to that. Thanks~

 

[Epiphany]

I'll offer my own perspective, in part because I'm one of the players that flaked in one of JadeGreen17 's RPs.

In the last year, I've had two occasions where I just didn't log into RpNation for a few months at a time. My reasoning and experience were complex. Part of it was I had a job that really ramped up activity significantly before/during each of those absences (being on salary, with business trips thrown in the mix, can eat the hours). Part of it is raising a kid who will be 2 years old in April, where if I'm not working, I'm caring for my kid. And when those things came together, I had no energy or creativity for RPing (or much of anything else). Factors against communicating included:

1. Honestly didn't realize I hadn't logged in until a couple of weeks in. Too busy, crowded everything else out.
2. Intimidation at having to wade through nine million notifications, that feeling of "I can't just log in and post something because then I'll miss everything else and won't be able to go back and see what I missed." Illogical or not.
3. Uncertainty what to communicate. Swamped with work and life, I didn't want to say "Hey, I'm swamped so I'll be back in...uh, I don't know?" Ability to try calculating schedule freedom took up brain CPU that was already overclocked with life.​

By no means are these good excuses, or even excuses at all. I certainly don't think there's any way to spin my absences in any way without doing just that; spinning. The truth is I flaked and that sucks for those who were relying on me to participate and push RPs along. For JadeGreen17 specifically and for others generally, I apologize.

Now, let's talk about the broader issue of what he originally commented on, being that gradual decreasing of turnaround time before completely vanishing. I'll add "While the player remains active on RpNation", because this seems to be a separate thing from "having vanished from RpNation".

1. I suspect it is a short attention span issue for a lot of players.
2. Some people really enjoy the process of creating a character more than playing a character. So the appeal of doing a new RP feels better/more satisfying than having to actually dig down and develop your character in something existing, engaging with the setting and genuinely figuring out how and what your character would do.
3. I suspect post length has something to do with it.​

Speaking for myself, I've noticed my turnaround has a lot to do with how much work and time a post requires. Because I have a busy life, I have several periods during each day to post but they vary in duration. And the utilitarian in me typically prioritizes "I know exactly what I want to do and can say and do it in 4-7 minutes" vs. "I have twelve multi-paragraph posts to read and then I need 30 minutes to compose my own multi-paragraph post, in part because of length and in part because of the need to constantly recheck what someone else did in a previous post". Involved, detailed RPs are really satisfying but they're also a lot of work and that tends to eat turnaround, especially as the shiny newness wears off. It makes it easier to say "Only two people have posted so even though I could post, I'll just wait for two who haven't posted to post", even knowing that typical RP attrition means those two may never post again...at which point, I haven't either and the RP dies.

Let me conclude by praising JadeGreen17 particularly for his Nightmare Hunters RP. He's arguably the best game runner/host at writing amazing setting description and detail I've ever seen on RpNation. Just great, vivid scenes. So, his ire at flakiness is even more well deserved than most, seeing how much work he puts into his games (and how great he is at nudging his players to keep it going). In the unlikely event he wants to revive Nightmare Hunters AND can forgive his players for being flakes, he has my sword, my bow and my axe.

 

[yanastyboi]

Have you ever flaked out of an RP? Why?

Yes, many times over my many years. Why often depends on the situation. Most often than not I learn I am not compatible with the person, sometimes I pickup on this during the discussion phase before we RP and sometimes it takes a reply or two into the RP for me to notice.​

​

For example example I ghosted on someone last week. We did a long 3/4hrs of discussion on plot and establishing the characters. Followed by me writing my first reply and the next day my partner. I then let the RP sit for three weeks without replying, then I ghosted completely and delete the Discord. The reasons I did this were:​

​

1. My partner came up with compelling ideas and direction for the story, but the negotiation to get there was full of miscommunication and fumbled exchanges where we struggled to get on the same page. There was a fair deal of frustration from both of us before we settled on things. I stuck to it because they were willing to work and try to get things going, so I would do the same.​

​

2. They didn't actually give me anything I wanted to RP in the first place (the original pairing and idea was changed entirely to suit this player and their character). So despite trying to work with them to come to a compromise it wasn't much of one and after their first reply I knew, deep down, this wouldn't work I felt nothing for their writing or their character and I lost all interest.​

Have you ever had to deal with a really flaky RPer which would disappear for long stretches of time and constantly hold up the story?

Yes. This partner also happens to be one of my longest running partners (of late) with the longest running RP.​

​

My partner and I both tend to go on long hiatuses (some for months) between varied bouts of activity. Our RP is 3years in the making it has one canon story line (main/canon RP), one "set in the past" RP, and one Empire AU, has been self published into 4 printable novels and has two pieces of fiction written about it.​

​

However, I have had to deal with flaky RPers that never work out and ghosters. I'm use to it. I've been RPing for 15years it is part and parcel to the RP experience. You can't always tell if someone will work out and you tend to just go for it with a hope and prayer most times. When it works out and you find that gem of a player then you're golden, and sometimes (often) it's a damn struggle . . . but if you don't dwell on it and your willing to just jump into the next venture with the next person . . . well you'll make it as an RPer and you'll get those golden unicorn long term RP besties people talk about!​

​

I'll just say that even those besties still flake but they come back!! If you both love something enough it'll survive!​

​

I know saying it's just part of RPing is dumb but honestly this is a game, it's a casual thing people do, if you don't like a thing you don't stick around and why should you. Unless you pay me I will never stay with a partner I know isn't working.​

​

RP should always feel like something you want to do, that gives you joy and passion and pleasure to read and write it . . . if it doesn't then it's sucking the creative life from you and you should cut that partner / RP loose and move onto something that doesn't zap you.​

 

[eyflfla]

I was musing that with our fickle player base the recent site upgrade probably caused about %10 of the RPs it hosts to die.

 

[memphis]

Have you ever flaked out of an RP? Why?

Yes, multiple times over the course of my rp career. There are many varying reasons I have done so. Most often it's that I feel I'm either incompatible with my partner (writing styles, personalities, etc.), or that roleplaying with them is a drag and I feel like I have to pull teeth in the plotting process. If I feel my partner is putting no effort in, I'll drop them, simple as that. Other reasons include:

• The topic of the rp was one I wasn't too interested in, with no compromise, and that I only grudgingly agreed to. I am partially at fault here, because I agreed to something I wasn't interested in, but sometimes I convince myself that I just have to get into it and then I'll be interested, as some of my favorite rps have been those that weren't originally my idea.
• I got busy in real life and was too stressed to reply. I think this is pretty self-explanatory. Sometimes I get busy irl and spend too much time away from a rp on accident and then feel it's too late to return.
• The quality of my partner's replies plummeted and I felt I had nothing to respond to.
• The rp was being forced in a direction that i did not like by my partner. Forcing romance that we did not agree to or that doesn't make any sense always psyches me out.

Have you ever had to deal with a really flaky RPer which would disappear for long stretches of time and constantly hold up the story?

Multiple times, but I'm pretty patient when it comes to this. I think I'm in the minority when I say I can wait a month or even a couple of months for a reply when someone gets backed up. If it was a rp with a complex plot that I was enjoying a lot, I don't mind coming back to it after a fair stretch of time. There is a difference between someone who is held up with life and someone who is flaky, however. I can definitely tell the difference when someone honestly was just really busy and misjudged how much time they'd have to dedicate to our story vs someone who just isn't dedicated and doesn't care about our rp.

 

[ewolf20]

I know how it feels. Some of my roleplay haven't left the ground and currently, I'm pitching one in this forum. If it does happen, it might get in the way of getting my homework or classwork done.

 

[ewolf20]

Thankfully, I'm just going to do a one shot with 5 players and myself.

 

[Sara Sidereal]

Depression is rampant among nerds for whatever reason, and it goes un-diagnosed for the most part.

 

[MiracleGrazer]

From my personal experience, I have frequent business trips that take me away from civilization from a few days to two weeks. I let people know in advance and when I return I sometimes find that an RP has stagnated by then. But Inalso think when someone isngone for a few days, a lively RP that is stacked with updates can be intimidating to some people.

 

[Autodidact]

Okay, so.
I confess to having flaked out of RPs. From what I remember, it's happened twice and to my defense it was excuseable. One time, the person I roleplayed with was being really pushy and uncomfortable OOC, and the other was just extremely bad. As in, I could screenshot it and suggest it to 'Bad Roleplayers' bad. It was bad. I'm blunt by nature, but I just couldn't tell the person how bad it was, so I ended up stalling the hell out of it.

That being said, I personally find it really annoying. Of course, people probably have their reasons, but it's surely more polite to just tell people instead of coming up with excuses, only to disappear and never be seen again. Especially when you have put a lot of time and work into world building, character creation, plot and so forth. No writing is wasted as they say, but time sure is.

 

[fleurdelys]

I don't have any general comments to add that haven't already been touched on, but I'll throw my personal experience in here:

have I ever flaked? yep unfortunately I've been quite the flake in the past, but only when it came to self-contained roleplaying forums (such as the ones hosted on jcink, proboards, etc.). to be honest I still feel really terrible about a number of them to this day. the reason why I poofed was pretty simple, and not surprising at all - I just got busy with life. being in school with all my friends around constantly made it hard to keep up with posts at times. then, after a long time elapsed, I would basically feel too ashamed/guilty to come back after so long so I just... wouldn't. I think a part of me was afraid that my partners would be upset as well, so I just took the avoidant route and never went back at all. I know it's very backwards and illogical but unfortunately that's the way it happened ;;

I'm not sure if this applies to anyone else, especially here on RPN where things are generally run quite differently.

as an add on to this: how have I reformed my flaking ways? first, by not going on self-contained forums anymore lol. I've learned that I can't keep up with them for a multitude of reasons. so turning to standalone 1x1 or smaller group roleplays has been a solution that's working really well so far. I don't bite off more than I can chew, and the more personal and intimate aspect of this format of roleplay makes it a lot easier to communicate and connect with my partners. I've also only pursued RPs that I really feel interested and invested in, which keeps me motivated to keep replying and advancing the plot. being a bit more critical about the type of person I am roleplaying with has also been a helpful factor.​

have I had to deal with a flaky rper? of course, naturally. it's never been too much of a bother to me though, having had a history of flaking myself. not only that, but I get that life happens and must come before roleplaying, so it's never angered or upset me. at most I've probably just been really disappointed but that's about it. to be honest, roleplaying is supposed to be fun and life is too short to get bothered by something like an internet stranger not replying to you, even if everything about the roleplay was amazing.

 

[Randomfella]

This issue definitely exists on any roleplaying website, though of the numerous sites I have been on this one is likely the worst for people joining roleplays and leaving after only a few posts without any notice or reason. Yet it's also the most populated site I've used so that works in it's favour.

My advice, although it does take time, is to remember the good and the bad players you meet. Use that information in roleplays you create or join in an attempt to assure you are with dedicated players.

When I gm an rp, i check the post history of applicants, and if they have left numerous rps early in the past decline them. Though tbf I do not gm a great deal.

 

[A lecto]

Does that happen a lot? I am new here so I don't know. But I sure hope there aren't many flaky RPers here since I am really passionate about RPing and it would be sad if people would just drop RPs without warning. It's kinda unfair to just leave without telling someone you don't want to continue writing the story with them. Its as if you would break up with a boy/girlfriend by just ignoring them instead of telling them its over. But that's just my opinion.

 

[Darkraven]

Does that happen a lot? I am new here so I don't know. But I sure hope there aren't many flaky RPers here since I am really passionate about RPing and it would be sad if people would just drop RPs without warning. It's kinda unfair to just leave without telling someone you don't want to continue writing the story with them. Its as if you would break up with a boy/girlfriend by just ignoring them instead of telling them its over. But that's just my opinion.

If only more people think like you. Flaking is something that we, as a community, should clamp down on. It's all good and fun, but what good and fun can there be if half the people here disappears and wrecks the roleplays that are the very reason why we came here? It's like I invite three friends to come over for an all-nighters game of Monopoly (and the gathering took a lot of effort to plan). They all came, super pumped, then a few rounds into the game, one of those friends just gets up, puts on his hat and coat, then leaves, without saying so much as a word.

Now, with roleplays, it's much worse than a game of Monopoly. You can't just set up the board again as easily sometimes. Not to mention, it's a great insult to the players and GM you were supposed to stick with.

 

[A lecto]

If only more people think like you. Flaking is something that we, as a community, should clamp down on. It's all good and fun, but what good and fun can there be if half the people here disappears and wrecks the roleplays that are the very reason why we came here? It's like I invite three friends to come over for an all-nighters game of Monopoly (and the gathering took a lot of effort to plan). They all came, super pumped, then a few rounds into the game, one of those friends just gets up, puts on his hat and coat, then leaves, without saying so much as a word.

Now, with roleplays, it's much worse than a game of Monopoly. You can't just set up the board again as easily sometimes. Not to mention, it's a great insult to the players and GM you were supposed to stick with.

Good to see someone thinks the same, let's hope there are more of us out there

 

[Deumeawyn]

I've also dipped on RPs because I cannot fucking stand someone I can't avoid, because the systems are obnoxiously overcomplicated, because IRL/OOC drama (spoilers: when a partner decides you are 'his' woman, IC and OOC, shit gets weird fast),

Yes, the 'clingy co-writer'. I look for signs. An aside to this is the jealous RL wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend who 'joins' a community because they think their partner is getting too close to a co-writer. Been there, done that.

 

[Venom Adhamm]

I think the main reason can be boiled down simply to the fact that it's difficult to reject people. Whenever you lose interest in an RP, sometimes it really is just you, and sometimes it really is just the other person (or people). If it's the latter case, to actually tell them you're done with the RP because it isn't interesting to you is hard, because in a way, you're telling them that they just weren't good enough for you. Maybe that isn't always the case, and there are certainly times where you've just lost interest in the subject matter through no fault of the other. It's often easier to just ghost someone rather than telling them you don't want to RP with them anymore.

I'm of course guilty of having done this in the past, but now I think I do a fairly good job of avoiding it. The main reason being that you will rarely, ever see me take part in an RP that doesn't have one person acting as a dungeon master. The fact that some of the people reading this post are looking up "what is a dungeon master" is testament to the difficulty of actually finding someone willing to play that role. Because of that, I'm motivated to lock down whoever is willing to play that role for an RP. I'm currently in one RP where my replies slowed way down because I just wasn't too interested in how the story was going. Instead of just ghosting it, I took the time to talk with the DM so we could work out ideas on how we could make the RP better for the both of us. I think for most people who do the more common type of RPs, it's easier just to find a new RP instead of trying to work things out, but for me, finding a new RP can take weeks or months. In fact, the very first search thread I made on this account was only turned into an RP years later (thanks Count Gensokyo , love youuu). So, I'm always leaning towards the latter option.

At the risk of sounding pretentious and waxing philosophical while not knowing shit about anything, it's human nature to reject others. It's just that a lot of us don't like confrontation. But for me, I don't care too much about confronting people or telling them what I think needs to change. Probably because I'm an asshole. But, still, I think that's better than disappearing without a word. If you can't resolve things and end up dissolving the RP, that's okay, at least you didn't leave someone hanging.

 

[White Masquerade]

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