RpNation

I wouldn't force him. If he doesn't want to do it, then let him deal with the consequences. He's an adult. 

I would go and make him, but his parents are divorced so I don't know where he is at the moment


He's  having a stroke of depression. I just didn't think it would be deep enough to do this to him

Example 1

Literally kick his ass if you can, sometimes people need a quick reminder of what could happen in situations like that

Did you offer to bring him there?


Sometimes they may not be into it, but if you walk with them during the hard times, it helps them in the long run.

@[32986:@ApfelSeine] @[29537:@Necessity4Fun] You two are psychology students, right? If any of ou are around, anything you can tell me at all?


As I said, I don't know where he is. And I can't take him there because time would run out before I could reach him

@[39750:@Omnimon] any ideas?

It's good that you're being careful about the situation. I'm not going to school of psychology, but I'm always the one people around me come to for advice. This is definitely a difficult situation. Maybe call and offer to hang out with him after? I can't really say for sure, because I don't know what's causing him trouble. However, basically you want to find something that might either take his mind of the situation, or at least offer a tangible reward for something that might be an incentive to get up and start doing something.

I tried doing the later already...


anyway thank you for your advise everyone! I'm pretty sure he'll be out of time in a minute unless he has a private jet he never told me about. One that can land in the middle of a school no less...


Anyway really appreciate your attempts at helping me!

If someone's doing that...... in general this is what " works" ..... from my POV


1)  COMMUNICATION IS KEY ... never EVER ASSUME . MAKE CONTACT with the person .


2) Set up a meeting, IN PERSON PHYSICALLY . Don't do it online, or in a chat . It makes a world of a difference when this occurs. Depending on who you deal with it might be better out in the public or in private ( again this is up to who you are dealing with , if they're an extrovert or an introvert )  .


3)  Reason why you want to do this in person IRL is because what is expressed online cannot all be captured, the nuances , and the intricacies and all .  Body language is key when someone is going through this kind of issue.


4) Once a meeting is set up ,  LISTEN to them , instead of berating them or forcing your opinions upon them .


5)  think about what they've said and then offer up a solution.  Don't over reach, and don't patronize if possible  ( again depends on the person )  . Encouragement helps far more then berating said person  .


6) does this work ? I find that its effective but not 100% guaranteed ,  as always, in life... nothing is a sure shot...... I know how it goes :  / 


Good luck

Okay. It's been a week now so it's clear they won't be able to fight it alone. I recommend knocking on the door and very calmly and openly offer to chat. Don't even mention the exams now. Just be supportive offer to be a friend, offer to listen no questions asked. I have depression and sometimes all I want it's to have people remember I exist too... That I'm important to them as much as they are important for me.


Try the a soft approach, please do not go with rocks in your hand or reminding them of responsibilities now, it might only make it worse.

Make them feel loved, show that you care. This is the most important thing. And don't pretend you understand, if you don't know what to say state so, but still listen and offer support.

I hope it goes well, good luck!

That's good advise...unfortunately, a tad late. He would have 3 minutes now to get from his home to the school and fill the register paperwork

They'll be another opportunity. Things will work out. I'd just be concerned about my friend... I'd do all of the above. That's good solid advice. 

I wish there was more we could do. I generally agree with the statements above in terms of dealing with the general situation. However, I do have a few warnings. Going in, providing support, and listening to the person without being judgmental is something that everybody needs sometimes. However, when it comes to actually giving advice, and providing the needed help and motivation, often times you'll hear people say to leave that to the professionals. Because if we don't know what we're doing, we could make things worse. There are a few problems with that:


1. Psychology is considered by some to be a pseudo-science. I have the utmost respect for the people who study it and try to learn more, but right now, there's just too much room for error with the professionals as well to really make a big distinction.


2. When someone looks for support and to let out there problems, often times it's because they're reaching out for help, and looking for answers. If you simply provide and ear to listen to, but don't offer any tangible actionable options they can do to start moving in a direction they want to go, that can actually be more damaging. Because then they begin to feel that there really isn't anything they can do. Something I often do is find the solution by asking them questions. I basically help them think through it themselves until we come to a possible course of action together. It could be abstract, but the important thing is that it leaves them with a tangible hope to move forward that they can actually feel instinctually, not just understand rationally.

Yeah, psychology is mostly trial and error, as in interacting with people. 

It's unfortunate that you won't be able to get him to register in time, but things like this happen sometimes. Do what you can to be supportive, and be proactive in offering support ("can I do X for you?" Rather than "is there anything I can do to help?"). Don't overburden yourself trying to fix him, and don't force your help upon him or force your friend to do anything. Be patient and persistent, but avoid acting like he absolutely must do something or like he needs to accept your help. He's free to reject it if he doesn't want your help, and that won't be your fault. Remember that it's not your job to make sure he lives his life, but offer what support you can as a friend.

I'd still reach out, just because said person failed at something, doesn't mean that its all over.  Its not an anime, or show or such where if a protagonist fails , the world ends. 


After all........ you find out who your real friends are when your going through the worst times right ? 


I'd still reach out....... I know I have , and its helped others a ton .  Don't do it for popularity, don't do it for " the greater good" , do it because its .... the right thing to do .....


I know it sounds....well... depending on POV that is....but don't let that hold said help back .

@ApfelSeine actually has some very good advice there.